Empire Wreckers
A Star Wars actual play podcast using the Fantasy Flight Games system. Each 3-season campaign follows a group of intergalactic misfits as they try their best to save the galaxy... or destroy it.
Empire Wreckers
S12E03 - Rasputin
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The Empire Wreckers have returned to the galaxy. Skipping more than a century inside a stasis chamber, the former pirates of the Sith Wars have entered a more civilized age.
Finding themselves in the midst of a galactic fuel shortage caused by their previous words and deeds, the Wreckers have stolen a fuel freighter from the mining guild, narrowly avoiding Republic intervention.
Now the amoral morons return to the shadowport on the seas of Darkknell, ready to trade their ill gotten gains for upgrades to their ill gotten plane....
Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Wreckers, the Star Wars actual play podcast that doesn't have ads because we blend seamlessly our ads into our podcast. Who's ready to enjoy a nice cool can of Cervasa Crystal today?
SPEAKER_08Well now saves the universe. You can't do it without the bright, refreshing taste of Cervasor Crystal.
SPEAKER_07As an undead space vampire, Rombias feels like a cold one. And you'll feel like a cold one too. A cold cerveza uh whatever it's called.
SPEAKER_06Rhombias does not drink Cervasor.
SPEAKER_04And every time Meyer is on screen, she is smoking no name brand death sticks.
SPEAKER_03And if you're ready to piss off every other family at the Olive Garden by playing a rowdy tabletop role-playing game, why don't you come along with us to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, in Star Wars? The Empire Wreckers have returned to the galaxy. Skipping more than a century inside a stasis chamber, the former pirates of the Sith Wars have entered a more civilized age. Finding themselves in the midst of a galactic fuel shortage caused by their previous words and deeds, the Wreckers have stolen a fuel freighter from the mining guild, narrowly avoiding Republic intervention. Now the Amoral Morons return to the Shadow Port on the seas of Darknell, ready to trade their ill-gotten gains for upgrades to their ill-gotten plane.
SPEAKER_06Excuse you, God. Second of all, I do want a Moral Moron on a t-shirt.
SPEAKER_03So your stolen uh fuel freighter, the LH217, can dock at the floating platforms of the Island on Darknell. And uh Maz, once she uh sees the giant ship that you've uh brought, she runs up with dollar signs in her eyes. Hey Maz. So you you brought this whole thing back. That's a lot of fuel. I was thinking that you would maybe just steal and fit whatever you could on your ship, but this is uh this is very a lot. This will can sell a lot of this. Uh you disabled the tracker, right? Did we?
SPEAKER_08Probably not. Especially if we have to.
SPEAKER_06Do a retroactive check.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, if you want to uh disable the tracker, um that would probably be a perception or a skullduggery to disable uh security devices. Can also be skullduggery. I'm pretty good at perception.
SPEAKER_04Skullduggery. Bad perception.
SPEAKER_03Perception. This would have been hidden, so uh we'll call it three purple, but we'll add a black because you're kind of doing this after the fact. In that case, I'll do skullduggery. Rain to upgrade.
SPEAKER_04I can take away the black.
SPEAKER_03I can too.
SPEAKER_06Hell yeah, baby. Three failure.
SPEAKER_07Motherfucker, I got a threat. One success! One success. Three failures, one triumph.
SPEAKER_03Ooh. Meyer, you you can have found and uh disabled the tracking device. Al, you uh you're searching for it. Maybe you're helping Meyer to disable it, but you get a little bit of an electric shock. You can dig a strain for that.
SPEAKER_08That's my electronic shock.
SPEAKER_03Uh Vanry, you don't find it, you just get distracted with some cervasicrystal that they have in the in the mini fridge.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god, it's so cool and refreshing.
SPEAKER_03Uh, Brombiz, you don't find uh any tracking device, but you did get a triumph. So uh was that perception?
SPEAKER_07Yes.
SPEAKER_03Uh so you might be able to find something else of use.
SPEAKER_07A cervasicrystal.
SPEAKER_03If you believe that would help you. No. No.
SPEAKER_06Don't do that.
SPEAKER_07What would be useful to you?
SPEAKER_06Well, this was like, uh was this freighter like.
SPEAKER_03I'm trying to remember who this freighter was allied with. Uh, it was with the mining guild. Mining equipment. Lasers. Lasers.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, yeah, there we go. Laser. Special cutting lasers.
SPEAKER_04I assume that's what space miners use is lasers to break up rocks and shit.
SPEAKER_03Well, this this was a transport ship. Uh so if you if you look through um it didn't come up because they didn't actually get a chance to get a shot off on you. Um, but all of the weapons that are being that were being used by the Sullastons aboard are slug throwers. Uh because it is a Tabana gas uh transport ship. They don't want any of the gas to be ignited, so they just shoot guns with bullets.
SPEAKER_04Ooh, are they frequently shooting each other in the halls there?
SPEAKER_03I mean, they were about to shoot you.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_04We're trying to steal their shit, though.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, in case of ship theft. Yeah. Listen, the only thing that can stop a bunch of pirates with guns is good guys with slugs, and it didn't really work this time, but maybe next time. Slug throwers. Yeah, what I'm saying is that we're school shooters. Oh no. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry, I'm like really sick and loopy.
SPEAKER_08Hey, what did we found on the ship? Did we find that tracker?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, Meyer found the tractor. Tracker. Was it the grink there?
SPEAKER_08It was It was Joan Deere tractor.
SPEAKER_06Rombie has found some slug throwers. Sweet.
SPEAKER_03I found electricity. Yeah, so um the if you if you were looking through and if you want uh to find some slug throwers, they do just have uh the pilots, the guys on the bridge, they were just uh they just had some pistols on them. But the guards uh who were guarding the cannibal killer, they were armed with uh shotguns.
SPEAKER_07Sweet. Who who's good with guns?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, which of you losers is taking these?
SPEAKER_08Al? I'm I mean I'm I'm okay at guns, so yeah, I could take some guns.
SPEAKER_04I can have a gun.
SPEAKER_07You each get a gun. Everybody gets a gun.
SPEAKER_04I have two ranks and ranged light now. Wait, are these ranged light?
SPEAKER_03Uh these would be uh ranged heavy.
SPEAKER_04Ugh, I don't want it.
SPEAKER_06I will take I will take them. Okay, you take mine too. I don't want it either.
SPEAKER_03Al's the kind of guy who's gonna double wield shotguns now. Oh, I should probably bring down my encumbrance somehow. Yeah, it is it is uh encumbrance four. It does have three hard points if you want to visit Hef. To like make it lighter? Well, if you wanna add anything. Modify it. Yeah, modify it or anything. So half-hef is available for you to modify things. Um Hey Hef, what can I uh what can I do with this gun to make it awesome? And he takes it and he looks it over and he says, uh shotgun.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Perfect. What kind of uh thing are you thinking you might want to use with this? They don't use these much anymore now that we have, you know, blasters.
SPEAKER_08I I want it to feel like um I want it to feel like a doom shotgun, where if somebody is like 70 yards away, I can still like one-shot them with like a good with like a good shot.
SPEAKER_03Well, due to the uh nature of how a shotgun works, you see the spread when you fire it. You cannot exactly uh give it that uh medium or long range. However, if you want, I can install a grappling hook to the underside so you can shoot the grappling hook, drag someone towards you, and then just fire it at them. Say no more, do the thing, do the thing.
SPEAKER_08You can be scorpion. Get over here! I can be scorpion and the doom guy. Fuck, I want to play Doom now. Yes, please yes, please, put a grappling hook on there. Is there any way with enough like modification that I can make the uh uh the slugs incendiary?
SPEAKER_03I don't think not with that many hard points. There are certain things that you can add. Um but what you could do is because you have one hard point left, so there is also a forearm grip attachment that only costs one hard point. What that does is because normally when you when you fire at somebody at engaged range, it's two purple. But because you're dragging people into engaged range or short range, that means that decreases the difficulty to one. Uh, and there's also optional mods to give it point blank and accurate. That'll cost extra. Okay.
SPEAKER_08Oh fuck, I don't have money. Or wait, well uh, we're gonna be getting money from like whatever whatever our fuel sells at.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah, does Mass pay us anything for this?
SPEAKER_03Uh well, so so half says, uh, okay, if you want this uh grapno launcher, do you want me to get a little uh extra grip on there so it's uh easier to aim? Yes, please. Then uh I can install that. Uh probably cost you 950 credits. 950 credits? Uh let's see. I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. Um I'm also uh experimenting with search pricing, so if you come back later, maybe a different price.
unknownMotherfucker!
SPEAKER_08Do you do you I have 274 credits? Does anybody have I'll I'll pay you back.
SPEAKER_04How much?
SPEAKER_08I have 274 credits.
SPEAKER_04Uh how much do you need?
SPEAKER_08950, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_04950.
SPEAKER_08So um are are you gonna pay at all? Alright.
SPEAKER_04Oh wait, what were you paying towards it?
SPEAKER_08Yeah. Two two s uh 274. So I guess, I don't know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, minus that.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, don't cover them completely.
SPEAKER_06Don't be such a cheapskate owl. Letting a teenage girl pay for your guns, embarrassing.
SPEAKER_04950 minus 276.
SPEAKER_02America 76.
SPEAKER_06America.
SPEAKER_04I've got a I've got a sugar baby. You have tan.
SPEAKER_08I don't have the might of the Sith behind me anymore. I can't I I I don't need to eat for the next couple of days as long as I can have this gun.
SPEAKER_06Okay, so Al has a girlfriend. What? You know, the gun. Okay, good. I'm making fun of him.
SPEAKER_04Okay, good.
SPEAKER_05Meyer, get with the program. I'm making fun of Al.
SPEAKER_04I thought you were making fun of me for paying 600 and whatever for that thing.
SPEAKER_03I'm I'm yeah, you're Al's sugar mommy. Well, uh well, I guess with the ages it would be like sugar daughter. Yeah. So as uh Hef is upgrading Al's new shotgun to get throw an uh another grip and a grappling hook onto it. Uh Maz is getting all of the fuel unloaded from the freighter. And she's kind of like looking around uh and she says, uh, hey, I couldn't help but notice. Didn't you have a crew when you left?
SPEAKER_05Oh, they all died.
SPEAKER_03They all died. Uh well I guess that's one way to get out of paying uh them. Was that on purpose or accidental?
SPEAKER_06Uh accidental.
SPEAKER_08Like It was a it was accidental.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, there's even like that weird little goblin man that you sent with us, and it's like we just wanted him to clean our shit up, and we apparently like shouldn't have tried to give him a name, but like we called him caviar and then he just died.
SPEAKER_02And then he just fucking died. Well, that's why I never give him a name.
SPEAKER_08Well, we didn't know that. Motherfucker Maz Maz, we just got here.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, Mazda's new to this, and we never met your little goblin man before. Treat it.
SPEAKER_03He's not like goblin man.
SPEAKER_06Well, he's not anyone's goblin man anymore, because he's fucking dead.
SPEAKER_03Well, problem solved. So how did he die? You said you is that the rest of them? Uh I didn't expect a bunch of Sullastin miners to take out a pirate group.
SPEAKER_05Oh no, that was um there was a cannibal killer. We put him in the freezer.
SPEAKER_03Cannibal killer? What kind of cannibal killer was this? That sounds interesting. He's a killer who's a cannibal.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, he was like full of electricity and like zip zap zoop and everything. Zip zap zoopy? Yeah, he's zip-zap zoopy. Like he had like a bolt gun? No, like he had like just bolts. Like zip zap zoop. I don't understand why I understand.
SPEAKER_03Like a an M mutant. You know, one of those they have the high M counts. Like you and Rhombius and uh let's say no more. Are you calling me a mutant? Oh. Well, it's uh it's a term that has popped up from time to time.
SPEAKER_05You're a mutant.
SPEAKER_03Let's not say things we can't take back. If the Jedi find out, then then there's But actually that gives me an idea.
SPEAKER_08Wait, are you a mutant? No, I've got to move it.
SPEAKER_03Let's not ask questions we don't want to learn the answer to. Okay, so how would you like to earn some steady money?
SPEAKER_08Um nothing money right now. Any money right now would be wonderful, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Okay, well so Al's open to hooking is what I'm hearing.
SPEAKER_03Not hooking. Not hooking. Do you remember there is that big war with the Sith and you guys killed a bunch of Sith and Jedi?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, we were there.
SPEAKER_03Good times. Yes, well, it was a long time ago for me.
SPEAKER_08See? See how this lack of lack of uh uh memory here and like us being displaced kind of fucks us all over? We gotta we gotta be more respectful for uh. Yes, but now each other.
SPEAKER_03I don't know if you know this, I don't know if you've read up on this, but the Jedi are not what they used to be. They have uh have taken some time to try and get back on their feet per se, which means that they have not been going around snatching as many babies, which means that there are a lot of people growing up there with uh M count mutations and no training on how to handle them.
SPEAKER_06Why do you keep saying mutations? They're not mutations.
SPEAKER_03Then what are they?
SPEAKER_06Uh being fucking awesome! It's not my fault that you're not fucking awesome.
SPEAKER_03Look, whatever the preferred terminology is nowadays, uh a lot of these people who have these abilities have made enemies because they have not had the proper training and how to use them responsibly. And there are certain people out there who would pay handsomely to anyone with the skill to hunt down these uh rogue mutants.
SPEAKER_06So, like just killing or capturing or both.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, uh eliminating from whatever trouble they're causing, however, uh whatever your preferred method is. It depends on the contractor.
SPEAKER_06I mean, like, shit, we killed like Jedi and Seth and they actually were trained. This is just a like a bunch of losers who never learn how to do shit.
SPEAKER_08This feels like fish in a barrel. I could shoot fish in a barrel. Yeah. Now that I have a fucking shotgun with a grapnel hook on it.
SPEAKER_05Does that imply that if before you had that you would not have been able to shoot fish in a barrel?
SPEAKER_08I mean, it I could have, but it would have been more difficult than what I what I have now. And time consuming because lasers are harder to shoot in water. Yeah, I I would have to go over to the fish, uh, whereas now I could bring the fish in a barrel to me.
SPEAKER_06It's like, okay, this is like shooting fish in a barrel, super easy, and you're like, I got this, and you shoot a grappling. Are you tired of shooting your fish with lasers?
SPEAKER_08I this isn't as satisfying as if I was shooting with not lasers. Well, I got the thing for you. Stop having a boring life with grapplefish.
unknownGrapplefish?
SPEAKER_06Oh my god, imagine grandpa on the lake grapple fishing! Anyway, so like, do you are there like is there anyone you have in mind who's like looking to pay?
SPEAKER_03I know where to find these people, but it is uh the trick is actually getting access to it. There is a um You're you're all familiar with Sabok, yes?
SPEAKER_08I know of Sabak, yes.
SPEAKER_03Well there is a uh ps let's say semi-legal bounty list that is called the deck. It contains 76 targets. Each one of them is a force-wielding mutant who's pissed somebody off. Each one of them is assigned a value based on the cards of the Sabak deck. The higher the value, the higher the bounty. Problem is the deck is managed by the dealer, and the dealer is in the dealer's den.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's where dealers usually are. Like, what's the problem?
SPEAKER_03Oh no, the dealer's den is a very old, very exclusive club on Coruscant.
SPEAKER_05Oh. Oh. So it's like hard to get into.
SPEAKER_03Well, for people who aren't me.
SPEAKER_05What about people like me? What if I'm hot as hell?
SPEAKER_03Look, I can get you in the door if you want to take a look at this deck, but we need proof of work. You don't exactly have a reputation nowadays.
SPEAKER_05They did a whole hollow drama about me.
SPEAKER_07Yes, but that was almost a hundred years ago. She's Holland that's famous.
SPEAKER_06I guess we do have that guy in the freezer that we killed. We can just like flop his body on the table and be like, give us another.
SPEAKER_03You need live tissue to get an M-Count sample.
SPEAKER_06What?
SPEAKER_03If you don't have a body or a live specimen, then I guess if you killed a Jedi and had a lightsaber, but unfortunately, I had to give all the sabers aboard the slippery swallow over to the Republic when I handed the ship over.
SPEAKER_05Those were my sabers, mas.
SPEAKER_03So unless any of you uh kept one on your person in that tomb, I think we might be uh to go kill a Jedi.
SPEAKER_06Did did anyone?
SPEAKER_08I I I still have that lightsaber. It's it's like not with me right now, because I had to like do do some like encumbering thing, but like if we a if we need to, then yeah, we could do a lightsaber.
SPEAKER_03When when did you do this encumbering thing?
SPEAKER_08Uh like just now, literally.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so so it's just like you you left it on the ship, basically.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it's like. Like would that work? Like whatever lightsaber Al had like stash up his ass?
SPEAKER_03That is the one that uh you got that from uh the monster mash, yes?
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah. Remember we killed Blade?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, that was like that was like way back in the day. You'll never forget your first monster mash.
SPEAKER_03Look, if you have a lightsaber, maybe that could get you in.
SPEAKER_08Alright, let's uh let's take the lightsaber, let's see where we can go from here. That was a good one.
SPEAKER_04Can we all get in on one lightsaber? I'm with him, I'm with him, I'm with him. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You vouch for us. Look, you operate as a team. Uh that is not uncommon in bounty hunting circles.
SPEAKER_05Perfect. Okay, Maz, take us there. Get us in.
SPEAKER_08We all share the same lightsaber, it's okay.
SPEAKER_03And Maz says, if we want to look the part, we should probably take your snazzy new ship.
SPEAKER_05Hell yeah. Let's take it. Let's do this.
SPEAKER_03You can do this. Maz can punch in a course for corusin. You can get aboard your shiny new chrome vessel. Uh, do you want to get it outfitted with any uh additional uh upgrades before you go? Or I don't know if you have the money to pay for them just yet, yeah. Aw man. No guns for us. But Maz can uh take you guys to Coruscent, the capital of the galaxy. The dealer's den when you arrive on Coruscant uh is down in the sublevels. It is uh located on level 3260, that is to say, 3,260 levels above the surface. Currently, the uh surface level of Coruscent is somewhere in the 5000s. Ooh wee.
SPEAKER_07Ooh wee.
SPEAKER_03So as you descend one of the enormous sinkhole pits that dot the planet's surface to get down to these under levels, you see buildings getting older and older. And uh Maz gives you a bit of advice. She says, now, this is a very old club, like old, old, thousands of years old. That means that uh the people here also have a history. This area, of course, used to be the uh galactic market. And when I say galactic market, I do not mean fruits and vegetables, I mean money market.
SPEAKER_05Aren't all markets money markets?
SPEAKER_03So a lot of the people who frequent this club, they are old money families that still have assets tied up down here, though they're the kind of families that were wealthy enough to keep their names out of the history books, if you get my meaning.
SPEAKER_05I don't know if I do. What do you mean by a money market?
SPEAKER_02So don't piss anyone off.
SPEAKER_06But what the fuck's a money market, Maz? Please! I'm confused.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, you're you're you're doing that thing that uh I was afraid that you'd do leaving us in the dust here, like, uh educationally.
SPEAKER_02What do you mean? It seems simple to me.
SPEAKER_06Okay, but you won't what do you mean by a money market? All markets use money. What makes what is a money market?
SPEAKER_08What what makes this what is this market of? How does it work?
SPEAKER_03Well, the market is moved, but thousands of years ago, the uh galactic stocks and bonds, if you will.
SPEAKER_05Oh, okay. So it's like a brokerage. Or was.
SPEAKER_03This was where the Galactic Trade Network was headquartered.
SPEAKER_05Okay, okay. That's all you had to say, Maz. You didn't have to keep saying a money market. What the fuck is a money market?
SPEAKER_06No one knows what a money market is, Maz.
SPEAKER_03I keep forgetting you don't have an education in the finances, that is why you are so cash poor.
SPEAKER_08I wanna throw you out of a fucking window, but I'm not going to because I like you.
SPEAKER_04We had lots of people.
SPEAKER_08I'm just really upset.
SPEAKER_06And now inflation It's not our fault that we were in a we Oh my god, okay, you know, this isn't important, Maz. This is not important. I d wish I had never asked you anything. You're not my real mom.
SPEAKER_08But I am but she is disappointed.
SPEAKER_06Ah, that is like my real mom.
SPEAKER_04You're not my real captain.
SPEAKER_06Robbia steps forth. No, not you either. Okay, so we'll keep on our guard.
SPEAKER_03Let's go. So, uh, you can bring the ship inland on uh one of the landing pads that is also dotted with several other very expensive-looking starships. And you can depart. You can see that the uh dealer's den is uh well, it's a there's a lot of debauchery going on down here.
SPEAKER_06Hell yeah. What kind of debauchery?
SPEAKER_03A lot of people in uh tuxedos, in masks, in tuxedo masks, uh that are drinking and eating and licking and slurping and uh like each other or smoking and uh gambling and doing all doing all kinds of things down here.
SPEAKER_07It has been so long since I've been to one of my eyes wide shut parties.
SPEAKER_03Are they smoking and gambling uh people or um there may be some light slave trading going on?
SPEAKER_08Uh yeah, slave trading.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06They have done some light slave trading.
SPEAKER_08We don't want to bring the mood down, so this is just some light slave trading.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they're not they're not trading any uh overly massive slaves.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, there's a uh nice to wear.
SPEAKER_03There's a uh a Jawa strip show, but the crowd is so thick that you can't you can't actually see what the Jawa looks like, unfortunately. No. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Is the Jawa thick too?
SPEAKER_08We can't tell. Can I use my perception to try harder?
SPEAKER_03So this is uh the crowd's pretty thick, uh, the Jawa's pretty small. Um it's kind of dark in there. There's a haze of uh smoke. So that would be a two purple with three blacks perception.
SPEAKER_08Jesus Christ. Two purple and three blacks. Let me let me see if I fail this here. Uh what is my perception? Okay.
SPEAKER_06I hope you succeed with despair.
SPEAKER_08I I got it. I got two success, but no despair.
SPEAKER_06There's no reds. Yeah, but I wished one into existence.
SPEAKER_08Dude, should I re-roll?
SPEAKER_06Did you did you want to give us a uh little Danny point against you?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so Al, you can see the uh the new Jawa.
SPEAKER_08See it. Alright. Uh that's uh that's something I can check off my list. Let's go.
SPEAKER_07It's like American beauty, the crowd just disappears and it's just you and the Jawa.
SPEAKER_08Wow. Where did all these rose petals come from?
SPEAKER_07The Jawla.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, except like it's a Jawa from a desert planet, so it's just like cactus needles raining down you.
SPEAKER_04It is canon that they are very stinky, so at least you're watching her from or him across the bar.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, whatever kind of stripper this is. Can I tell whether or not with those two success, can I tell whether uh they're him or her or them?
SPEAKER_03Uh with two success, you can get a long enough look that you can like remember what this Jawa looks like, but without any advantages, you can't determine uh the genital. And what it may mean. Are they at least good looking?
SPEAKER_04That's you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you this is the first Jawa that you've probably ever seen, so.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, do you find this appealing, Al?
SPEAKER_08Let me let me flip a c let me uh flip a coin or something. One second.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, roll the force to see if this Jawa does it for you.
SPEAKER_08I'm trying to roll that fate dice, but it keeps giving me media uh like a nothing. I wanna like there's a plus and a minus thing there. Okay, let's try that again. Uh, negative one, so it's not attractive.
SPEAKER_06Sorry, Al.
SPEAKER_08Ah, well, we'll always be.
SPEAKER_06All dreams can come true.
SPEAKER_03I'll get them next time. So as we're trying to uh peep the show, uh Maz uh takes you to an area near the back of the club where there is a Gotol Mater D who is kind of not quite a bouncer, but uh a door man. And the Maider D recognizes her and he says, Maz, it's been a while since you've been down here. Are you uh your usual? And she says, No, no, not today. Uh I have a group of prospective hunters for the deck. Gotol uh kind of cocks his eyebrows at you. He's not really sure what to make of you, and he says, Uh, I am not familiar with them. Do you have any proof of work? And she says, Yes. Uh, one of them has a lightsaber from a Jedi that they killed.
SPEAKER_05Hello! Yeah, show him your shit.
SPEAKER_08Not your shit. Look at this. I I I don't turn it on, but I like take it out and I go like vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom.
SPEAKER_03He he holds his hands up. I gave him a five.
SPEAKER_06He cut off his hands. Is this right?
SPEAKER_08I'm sorry, I don't know what you're Oh, you want to see you want to see the lightsaber. Okay, yeah, here, here. I'll I'll um as long as you give it back.
SPEAKER_03And he takes it and he kind of like rubs it. He has these like two conical horns on his head and he kind of like rubs it between them.
SPEAKER_08Is he horn fucking his horns with the lightsaber?
SPEAKER_03It looks like that. Uh and he says, This appears to be a legitimate weapon. Uh please come into the VIP lounge and I will collect the young miss.
SPEAKER_05Young Miss?
SPEAKER_03Mess is Ah yes, the Young Miss. I kind of forgot about her.
SPEAKER_02You guys did kill that Jedi, right? I'm pretty sure, didn't we?
SPEAKER_04Well, I guess Molly's dead.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, I can't I can't Yeah, yeah, he is dead, isn't he?
SPEAKER_05Does it matter that we did it like forever? I think technically Big Mommy killed him, but he's dead.
SPEAKER_08Especially like if it happened like several years ago. If we didn't kill him, he's dead by now, right?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Wait, what race was he? Yeah, like if it were Big Mommy, then time would have taken care of it. Oh my god, I wonder if Big Mommy's still around. And she says, wait, wait, wait, wait earlier.
SPEAKER_03Did you did you kill him or not? This is important. Uh, why? Well, the young miss is this little girl that I picked up uh a number of years ago to work at this club. She is a Kiffar. The Kifar are a group of folks who have the ability to read the histories of items and objects, so she will be able to determine how you got this weapon. Like, indirectly we killed them.
SPEAKER_08Are we, are we, like, I don't I honestly don't know. Are we in shit? Are we in trouble?
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_08I can't tell whether or not we're in trouble or not. It feels like we're in trouble for something that's not that for like.
SPEAKER_03Do you remember what happened two seasons ago?
SPEAKER_04We kill people all the time, so it's like they all run together. Jedi or now.
SPEAKER_03But you can uh take a seat in the VIP lounge where um I mean the couches are like kind of like lowered. They're like they're like like conversation pits almost like they had in the 70s. Love it. And uh perhaps disturbingly, um, the floor of these conversation pits is also padded.
SPEAKER_06I guess if you just like you just want to fuck on down and you don't want to move to a different room.
SPEAKER_07Fuck on down.
SPEAKER_06Still, it's like can you imagine the stains on this? Like, dark are our shoes off?
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_07Are they taking your shoes off?
SPEAKER_04Would you take your shoes off at a bar?
SPEAKER_07This is what I mean.
SPEAKER_06Oh, that's so gross.
SPEAKER_05The hygiene factor, you know.
SPEAKER_03There are a uh couple of uh aliens uh canoodling in some of these conversation pits. I'm not sure what they're doing. Um it's dark enough that you uh wouldn't be able to get a good look unless you really stare.
SPEAKER_06Come on now, roll perception. Let's do it again. Just spy on these people.
SPEAKER_03Actually, rhombies, you could probably tell what's going on. You can have good dark vision.
SPEAKER_06I can take a look, yeah. Yeah, spy on some people for no reason.
SPEAKER_03Since you don't need to um roll a perception, you because you have dark vision, you can just see. Why don't you instead roll me a resilience?
SPEAKER_04Oh no.
SPEAKER_07Resilience, you say. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Uh we'll call it uh two purple. Is two success? Okay, so you could keep your food down as you see a lamproid and a wool cabishite uh servicing a Dewoten that is uh sitting in this conversation pit.
SPEAKER_06Uh, the lamproids, those are like the uh the lamp rays, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they have they they look like uh long snaky creatures with giant uh toothy maws and mouths that look like Kirk Johnson's butthole. And the wool cabishites similarly are these kind of snail-like, snake-like aliens uh that just have these long red rocket tongues that just hang out of them.
SPEAKER_06Robbie's what are you seeing over there?
SPEAKER_07Uh some freaky shit, you guys.
SPEAKER_08Just can you describe it in detail?
SPEAKER_07I hate being out.
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_03Oh no.
SPEAKER_05How?
SPEAKER_03Uh but after a moment, um, this woman comes out, uh, escorted by uh another of the club's employees. They refer to her as uh the young miss, but she is like an old decrepit woman with these like long white dreadlocks that are like down to her ankles. She's been growing them so long. She walks with a cane, her face is like cragged and wrinkled, and she has like a a yellow tattoo that is like uh a stripe across her face under her eyes, but it's she's been alive for so long that even that is like faded and it's kind of barely visible.
SPEAKER_04But she's young compared to Maz, so.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Maz says, Oh, I forgot. I yeah, I I picked her up quite a while ago.
SPEAKER_06Wait, would uh does that tattoo have any meaning? Would I any of us know it? Or recognize it?
SPEAKER_03Either maybe knowledge education. If you if you don't have any ranks in knowledge, you could just do a general knowledge check. I'll do a general knowledge. Yeah, give me a three purple. I'll take a strain and upgrade.
SPEAKER_04I'm not gonna look it up. I'm just gonna be like, cool tat.
SPEAKER_03One failure, one threat. Sick. You've seen tattoos before. Um Maz did say that these that whatever she is, she's a kiffar, she said that uh she has the ability to read the history of items and objects. She is very old. Um the only people that you know that were around a long time ago have tattoos and have the force are Sith.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god. I wonder if she went to school with me. Like she is old as hell, but also it's like it was a while ago.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Oh my god, is this bitch a Sith too? Is this bitch a Sith?
SPEAKER_05Is this Mitch a Sith? Is this bitch a Sith? This bitch is Sith. Hey, Miss. Shut up, she's not a Sith. Hey. Well, she has a tattoo. It's like maybe.
SPEAKER_02That's not what that means. That's a clan tattoo from her from her family. Well, you are embarrassing me. Vanry, stop embarrassing. You're gonna ruin this.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god, you're embarrassing to me.
SPEAKER_02Young miss, young miss, she meant no offense. She meant no offense, young miss, and the young miss says, None taken! Are you sure Maz isn't your mom?
SPEAKER_00Give me the weapon, and I will read it!
SPEAKER_06Uh-huh. Give him the give her the weapon, Al!
SPEAKER_03Uh, alright. And I give her the weapon. She she takes it and she holds it in her hands and she, you know, strokes it and turns it and reads it like uh like Braille almost, and her, like it seems like she might need to read Braille, because like her eyes are all cataracted and clouded over as well.
SPEAKER_00But after a moment, uh she says, It appears that the previous owner of this weapon died at his hand.
SPEAKER_03And she points this like shaking crooked finger to Rhombius.
SPEAKER_06Oh, yeah, because I guess he was like barely alive, and then Rhombius just like yummed him up.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So I think so long ago. Oh. The previous owner of this weapon did not approach you as an enemy. I feel that you betrayed him.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, like it was a different time.
SPEAKER_07It was only a little bit of an ambush, you know, of a.
SPEAKER_06Listen, there was a war going on. There was a monster mash, alright? I really knew the way it was. Does this bitch not understand Monster Mash?
SPEAKER_03Uh, she might not, but if you want to get access to this deck, then uh you should probably convince her that you are not going to betray this whole operation.
SPEAKER_04Look, it's part of the rules of engagement or whatever, the thing we were doing. It was like. You're you're allowed to act without honor.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it's like a deeply held, um wait, no, they don't like it's like a deeply held tradition among his people, right?
SPEAKER_08Yeah, we we're we're we're we're we're we just are unhonorable. That's just something that we do.
unknownOw, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_08Ow dishonor Honorable, honorable. That's just what we do. We are honorable.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, we just do you know. You know how things go. You have to win a monster mash. And so you're like, well, let's set an ambush and just see who shows up, and some guy with a sword showed up.
SPEAKER_08How dare you just sit call us unhonorable, you bitch.
SPEAKER_03So is this gonna be a coercion or a charm?
SPEAKER_08Oh, I can charm her. After calling her a bitch, she's completely a charm.
SPEAKER_09I'm gonna call her the bitch.
SPEAKER_07This is good cop, bad cop. Or good cop slightly more okay cop. Bad cop, worse cop. So I will play shades of grey cop.
SPEAKER_03Uh so would this be a wee? Is this is this charm or charm or coercion? Which attack are you going here?
SPEAKER_07Are you going with uh Al calling her a bitch or uh I'll try and use charm so I can use my entrancing gaze.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, Robius is like the suave, uh slightly younger man who's gonna seduce this old old lady.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Kill wealthy dowager. So this is going to be uh against two reds. Okay. And because uh she sensed betrayal, you can add a black onto that. It was a friendly betrayal.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_07You know.
SPEAKER_05As all the best betrayals are.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_04Why does it fucking matter? Aren't we like going out killing baby Jedi's or whatever? Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Do they know that? She's someone who's like the keeper of this list that has like all the baby Jedi's on it.
SPEAKER_03Uh, two failure for advantage. So, uh, she doesn't believe that uh she's not charmed by you. But you got those advantage. Um, so she does ask you another question.
SPEAKER_00And she says, I sense that you betrayed him in order to gain the favor of another who I cannot read.
SPEAKER_05Oh, that was Mommy Malmoral. Ugh God, she's so hot.
SPEAKER_06I know, Big Mommy. Oh, we love Malmoral. Mommy Malmoral. Unless you don't, and then like, oh gross, hate her.
SPEAKER_00This is someone that you have encountered before. Yeah? Big Mommy. Uh okay.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it is. We are. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00I can tell that you are a mercenary group. Your allegiance is to whoever pays you in attention or money.
SPEAKER_04Attention?
SPEAKER_00Mom, is that you? We don't have it. We can make use of you.
SPEAKER_04If you tell us we're good, we'll like do anything. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08We have a real big praise king.
SPEAKER_00Please tell me I'm good. But first you must be tested. Okay. Complete one contract for us, and then based on that, we will determine whether or not you will have access to the deck.
SPEAKER_06Oh my gosh. Like, you'd think that if you wanted these people dead, you would make it easier for people to you know what? It doesn't matter. Sure. What's the contract?
SPEAKER_03So, uh, one of the employees, he brings the deck over, and it is a physical deck of cards that she shuffles, and then she draws one and puts it on the table in the conversation pit. And this little hologram uh pops up from this card, and it has a readout of information of this contract. Along the top, uh, this contract is listed as the commander of staves. That is his card number. You can see that this is uh an individual by the name of Garrick Iblis. He is uh currently residing on the Corellian colony of Trigolis.
SPEAKER_05Iblis, that last name sounds so familiar.
SPEAKER_03Oh, it's a Karellian last name.
SPEAKER_06Oh, okay. Uh Corellians. You know what they're like.
SPEAKER_04They're all the same.
SPEAKER_03The best fighter pilots in the galaxy. The uh bounty for assassinating him is 41,250 credits. Wahoo! Uh the base, it says, is 25,000. There is an additional 5,000 due to the difficulty of reaching this target. He is a close confidant of Trigollus' king, um, as a Corellian colony. Uh Trigollus, I don't know if you guys would know this, but this information would be provided in the uh on the card itself. But Trigollus, it says, is uh where the former kings, the royal family of Corelia, went after Karelia established a democratic government. They were kind of deposed and had to retreat to one of the colonies. So uh this Garrick Iblis fellow is a confidant of King Chardus Rousedauer, of House Rousdower. Uh due to that, it's uh there's an extra $5,000 because getting into a royal palace might be difficult. Um there is an additional objective due to the secret nature of the deck. Uh it is also requesting that you frame somebody for the assassination. This grants you a bonus of 6,250 credits. There is a bonus of 7,500 credits due to the target's estimated M count. But because you're just kind of coming out of nowhere, uh, you're not a member of the Bounty Hunters Guild, you don't have a reputation, uh, your total bounty is also being reduced by 2,500 credits.
SPEAKER_06Eh, that's bullshit. So, like, why why what's this dude's deal? Like he's uh a friend of the king of Corellia or whatever.
SPEAKER_03Maz grabs the card and says, Well, okay, so it looks like oh, okay, so looks like King Chardis has uh his son Troy suffers from a rare blood disease, and this Iblis fellow has been uh pretending to be some kind of healer for them. Seems like a lot of the Corellian colonies uh want to get rid of him. They don't like the influence that he's uh influencing, I guess, the queen and the king and the boy.
SPEAKER_05Okay, so it doesn't matter if he's alive or dead.
SPEAKER_03Dead would be preferred, but I suppose if there's a way to uh remove him from the court of Trigalis without killing him, that might be an option. Though he may just go somewhere else and try it again.
SPEAKER_05Nah, dead's probably better. Let's just kill him.
SPEAKER_08Sometimes dead is better.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Okay, Groovy, like, do we know anything about the palace? Like, where he'd be holed up, and like, what's the security? Like, what's the deal?
SPEAKER_03Maz takes a sip from this drink that one of the uh club employees offers her, and she says, that sounds like a you problem. Oh fuck you.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god, 130 years of loyal service, and this is our treatment. This is the things that I get. Let me see my hologrum. Oh my god!
SPEAKER_03So uh you have your target. Maz uh will stay behind and enjoy the club sending you to uh test your mettle against this uh the commander of staves, Garrick Iblis of Trigallis.
SPEAKER_06Alright. Let's go. Let's go.
SPEAKER_03Let's do it. So, uh, you have the forgy, you don't have any extra crew at this point. Um Tregallus is a Karellian colony, so you can probably assume there are primarily uh humans. The main city of the colony is called New Coronet, named after Coronet, the capital of regular Karelia.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_08Are we flying there?
SPEAKER_06I have a quick question, because it's like they're Karelians, which is like seems like a stretch to call them humans, but go off. Um what is the view towards aliens there, though?
SPEAKER_03Are are Rombius and I gonna get big discrimination? Um, probably not on site. Okay. Uh not Nautilins uh you don't have a bad reputation in the galaxy. Uh umbarns uh over the past century plus are rare enough. That people might not even know what Rhombius is to look at him.
SPEAKER_04Let's give him a spray tan.
SPEAKER_03As we know, Mandalorians are frowned upon.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah. Meyer's the only one who's gonna get racism.
SPEAKER_04I can take it off. I can choose not to be racism against Well.
SPEAKER_03Good for you! I was about to say, oh, look at look at you, Lucky. So how how would you like to approach uh New Coronet? So this Garrick Iblis fellow being a uh member of the court and the confidant of uh House of Rousedowers probably hold up in the palace or castle or whatever happens to be the home of the royal family on Tregalis. It is in New Coronet, so there is a it's not just like a castle in the middle of nowhere, it is in the middle of the main metropolitan area.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Because it's like this New Cornet, it's not like cut off from the outside world or anything, right?
SPEAKER_03No, it it it's just a a colony. It's just the the colony where the cave the deposed royal family went after uh Corellia decided to do some democracy. Uh gross democracy.
SPEAKER_06So we could probably just like go to a spaceport and like, you know, maybe use I I was gonna say use aliases, but it's like fuck it, who's gonna know us? We haven't been alive for 130 years.
SPEAKER_07We are no one.
SPEAKER_06Just keep a low profile.
SPEAKER_07Oh, like the like the Hollonet show. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06No relation! Oh my god, if someone actually recognized Vanry's name from that and she had to pretend it wasn't her, she would just fucking combust.
SPEAKER_03It'd be like somebody being named Che Guevara.
SPEAKER_06What do you say? Go in uh legitimately low profile illegal.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, we have no reason to like hide right now, right?
SPEAKER_06We have done nothing wrong.
SPEAKER_04Except for steals and ship. We're not flying stolen ships, are we? Are we?
SPEAKER_06Well, we kind of are, but it's we didn't we stole it from Naboo. We stole it from those fucking artisans. They're not communicating with Corelia. I bet Naboo dil would not communicate with Corelia just on principle because they're a bunch of fucking jocks. And Naboo is all the nerd art kids. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's fine, no one's gonna know. It's fine to know. I mean, galactically speaking, Trigollis isn't all that far from Naboo, but. That that just means it your ship probably wouldn't be out of place if it landed there.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_03No one's gonna know. Yeah, so you can keep a low profile in your uh large chrome ship, head to Trigollis, land at the spaceport. And as you are being legitimate, it is asking for docking information such as your ship's name. Oh, do we name this ship? Nope.
SPEAKER_06Oh fuck. Uh oh my god, we have to name this fast.
SPEAKER_08The um parrots. The horny phoenix.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god, the proud pecker.
SPEAKER_04Oh god.
SPEAKER_08Oh yeah, that's that's a good one. That's a good one.
SPEAKER_04The wonderful Woody.
SPEAKER_07The Century Hawk.
SPEAKER_04The resilient robin.
SPEAKER_06That's not a double entendre.
SPEAKER_04No, it's just nice.
SPEAKER_06That is nice. Keep with the theme, entendre names, or actually have dignity for once in our existences.
SPEAKER_08Fucking are you, have you met us? Entenres it is.
SPEAKER_03The Huffin' Puffin. Oh.
SPEAKER_06That's funny. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03The protruding pecker? Ooh.
SPEAKER_06Okay, my vote vote is with patchal and pecker.
SPEAKER_03The silver cock?
SPEAKER_06Oh, we are silver. The chrome cock! Holy shit! Yeah, the chrome cock! Your excitement was fucking poppable.
SPEAKER_04Can we be tasteful and call it the chrome rooster?
SPEAKER_06Chrome cock. Mike for the chrome cock. The cocks have it. The cocks have it.
SPEAKER_03So you can enter uh into the spaceport records. Officially, your ship is called the Chrome Cock.
SPEAKER_06Chromecock.
SPEAKER_07Chrome cock Wednesdays at nine on NBC.
SPEAKER_03I think that's also Al's nickname. One second, I gotta screw on my chrome cock. So you can bring the chromed cock into the spaceport. Hell yeah. New cornet, and uh distribute yourselves among the populace. The the colony itself um seems to be a little run down. Like the buildings feel like at one point they were kind of like grand and new and like, hey, check out what we're doing, we got the royals, but now it's like maybe uh having, you know, an unelected official who just, you know, does whatever they want and brings in some fucking random person to heal their uh sixth son is maybe not like the best kind of guy.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god, I wonder if there's rumblings of people who are trying to depose the royals here too. Maybe we can get in with them and help them get us inside.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, there is there is a little bit of a uh you can see that there is some uh dissent. There are some graffiti that is uh anti-monarchist, and even some graffiti that is like anti-that guy in particular, anti-Garrick Iblis.
SPEAKER_06Ooh. Can we perceive the graffiti? Are there any clues that would lead us to a secret hideout?
SPEAKER_03Um, you're looking for like, oh, did they leave any like secret directions to like a resistance stronghold or something? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_08How many books how many books do I have to pull before there it opens up a wall?
SPEAKER_06I assume that's what you do in Mist.
SPEAKER_08I I I I don't know. I have I haven't played Mist in like 25 years.
SPEAKER_03I played Ribbon. The sequel to Mist. So uh if you want to uh try and uh assess some of this graffiti for secret instructions to a uh hidden resistance base, that might be Streetwise. Uh it might be maybe knowledge underworld if there's common uh underworld signs and sigils. Could be perception. Who who is the best perceiver?
SPEAKER_07Vampire is pretty or streetwiser.
SPEAKER_08I'm pretty good at perception.
SPEAKER_04Better at perception than streetwise.
SPEAKER_08Uh yeah, same. If it's only one of us, I I can let you take it if you want.
SPEAKER_06I can try. Take us way Meyer.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, this.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so this will be uh you're trying to find something that's hidden, so that'll start as three purple because you are not uh familiar with this place. We can add a black onto that as well.
SPEAKER_04Three success for a threat. I shit myself.
SPEAKER_06Any threat you get is just like, oh man, Meyer's IBS is acting up again.
SPEAKER_03Um so yeah, you can see that one of these uh graffiti, they do seem to have like almost like a QR code inlaid that you can scan that has an address labeled on it and it says uh for like-minded citizens.
SPEAKER_04Oh, nice. There we go. I don't know this place, I guess.
SPEAKER_06That's your threat. We've never been to this city, so we still don't know where anything is.
SPEAKER_03Well, if you have like a map, it does have an address if you can you can like download a town map. Cool.
SPEAKER_06Let's go waltz in there. I bet they love outsiders.
SPEAKER_03This is random people. Hello, fellow rebels! So you can uh head to the address that appears to be a an old boarded-up storefront that has uh long since gone out of business.
SPEAKER_06Is there like a secret knock we had to do that was inlaid there that Meyer would know about? It's the beat to uh car wash. Unmistakable. Can we go in? The door is locked.
SPEAKER_03Can I kick it in?
SPEAKER_04Can I skulldug it?
SPEAKER_03Uh if you want to pick the lock. Um yeah, that'd probably be a three purple skulldugger. Do you have any lock picking tools or anything? Dot, we can throw a black on there.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_06Oh, hey, well, could I could I help her with um okay, well, you got it then.
SPEAKER_04To success. I punch the door open.
SPEAKER_03You can uh unlock the door with your nimble thieves' fingers, and you can head inside. And it seems like it doesn't immediately seem like this is any sort of resistance headquarters. It does just seem like an old store that's its shelves are bare and dusty. There's like no lights in here. The only light in here is what's uh filtering through the uh boards and things that were used to close up the windows.
SPEAKER_06Right. Start pulling books off the shelves.
SPEAKER_03The shelves are empty. Damn.
SPEAKER_04Can we start putting stuff on the shelves?
SPEAKER_06This won't be very easy to spot the hidden lever.
SPEAKER_04How long?
SPEAKER_06Can we look around for the lever? Resistance. Perception?
SPEAKER_04Got your graffiti message. I'm here.
SPEAKER_07You tagged us.
SPEAKER_06We're like super politically minded. Where are y'all at?
SPEAKER_03So we're just shouting in hopes that somebody uh somebody s sees you were hearing this.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Also Also, we're not the cops.
SPEAKER_03You can uh hoot and holler. And uh after a moment, uh one of the floorboard panels, like this metal grate, like lifts up and pushes to the side, and you see this like person's head stick up and say, whoever.
SPEAKER_05Um, we saw your graffiti. Yeah, we scanned the QR code or whatever. Yeah, and and we're here because we want to help take out this Iblis guy. We're here to help you. We're your best friends.
SPEAKER_02Why are you saying that in such a suspicious tone of voice?
SPEAKER_05That's just how I talk. He's on to our sketch him!
SPEAKER_04Kick him in the head.
SPEAKER_08Sorry, I was raised wrong, so this is just how I deliver and sorry, I was raised wrong.
SPEAKER_09I have brain worms.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they're coming out the back of your head.
SPEAKER_06I was raised wrong as a joke.
SPEAKER_04As a joke. Now my robe is blue. Anyways.
SPEAKER_03So uh you wanna you wanna convince him that you're you're not a threat?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh this would be this guy's uh member of the of the resistance. He's probably, you know, alert to people who may be imposters or what have you. Uh so are you gonna this charm coercion deception perhaps?
SPEAKER_04We have no reason to deceive him. We just had our piece. Charm.
SPEAKER_06Charm for both of us.
SPEAKER_03Uh so this is going to be a charm. This is going to be against a red and a purple. Uh he does not know you. He's never seen you before. You don't seem to be uh from here, so that will also add a black.
SPEAKER_04Hmm. Let me take a peek. I can reroll one charm or deception. I got nil, which isn't the worst, but Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Not the not not what we're looking for here.
SPEAKER_04Three advantage.
SPEAKER_06Slightly better. Better.
SPEAKER_03Better. And uh he he doesn't like think you're both cops, but he says you're pretty heavily armed and armored by the looks of things. Are you how do we know we're not mercenaries come to root us out?
SPEAKER_06Uh, what if we're mercenary's here to help you?
SPEAKER_03Okay, then who hired you?
SPEAKER_06You if you have money.
SPEAKER_03What?
SPEAKER_04Oh no.
SPEAKER_05No, listen, like, we just want this guy dead too, and it's like, oh my god, these people want him dead as well. Mutual interests and everything. And we thought that, like, maybe you would want some help, and we could help, and we could just murk a bitch.
SPEAKER_07The enemy of my enemy is my enemy.
SPEAKER_05He's got the secret bounty or whatever.
SPEAKER_03Alright, look, uh, maybe it's I I I can't really make these kinds of decisions. How about you come down and I'll introduce you to the boss?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, okay, love that. Let's meet your boss. I'll go down first since I've got armor, I guess.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so he he kind of climbs up out of out of the uh the hole so there's room for you to climb down the ladder.
SPEAKER_04I climb down.
SPEAKER_03Do all of you climb down?
SPEAKER_04Sure.
SPEAKER_06I'm not a wimp.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so you could all climb down and uh he kind of follows you and he replaces the panel in the floor so uh their secret entrance is not made. And Meyer, when um when you do get down the ladder and you turn around, uh you did get all those threat. Uh so you see that the basement uh is full of what appear to be Tregolis police in like SWAT gear.
SPEAKER_04Whoa! This is threat from like an earlier role?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, from from when you found the graffiti.
SPEAKER_04Oh haha.
SPEAKER_03Wait, so the cops are And you hear the guy from the top of the ladder shout, We got a few more!
SPEAKER_04Oh, bitch! Ah shit, I should've expected this.
SPEAKER_06Man, I'm mad. How many cops?
SPEAKER_03Uh there's there's a lot, and there's a couple of like people that have been stripped of their clothes and their weapons that are like tied up and piled in the corner. They still seem to be alive, but they've been bound and gagged. And there's about half a dozen uh Trigullus police, and they say, Alright, put down your weapons.
SPEAKER_05Grappling hook time. Wait, you said half a dozen?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05That's six. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck them. Okay. But let's actually kill them. Yeah. Right?
SPEAKER_06Okay, fist bump, what's murdered?
SPEAKER_08Can I roll a coordination to see if I fist bump properly and don't accidentally punch somebody in the face?
SPEAKER_03Uh if that's something you feel you need to do. No, I'm good. This one I'm good for. So you can see that the uh police, there's one guy who's kind of uh the leader, and then there are two other groups. One with two people in it, one with three. They've kind of uh split the room. The room itself, uh, it looks like it may at one point have been a legitimate resistance headquarters. Like there is evidence that like at least there was like some activity down here. There's some crates. You can see that there's like some tables and some uh it it may have just been somebody's home that they that they use, but this was a basement that somebody was using at some point. So there are some things if you want to take cover or uh use any anything in the environment. Actually, what range are these fellas in?
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It was a s it was like a basement for like a store. So it has its footprint is the same as the store itself. So everybody's kind of in short range.
SPEAKER_09Hmm.
SPEAKER_07I've upgraded my uh harm. I think I can go through a few people. Let me see. I have magnitude of three, so I can hit four people if I use my harm power.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah, like Robbie, so you can just wipe out one of the minion groups with that.
SPEAKER_07I will wipe out one of the minion groups with that. Alright, I have three force points. One dark side, three light side.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Uh so um you can use that dark, but that would um you would only be able to do it on one person and have to like run up and touch them. You can use a a destiny point to get access to those lights. Okay, that's what I'll do. Um, so that would give you four points in total to use. Alright. So I can increase how many I hit. Yeah, so basic power is one. Um and then, so that's and you would want to spend one on the range? Yes. Okay, so yeah, so and then you can spend the other two to upgrade the magnitude to hit four people. Yeah, so I'll hit uh that many. And it does five damage. Okay, so each of these uh cops has four points of wound. Uh so you can just wipe out uh one of these groups. The group of three, all of them, like as you like stare at them, they just drop dead. And then you can like look at the other group and one of them drops dead as well. Uh. He's looking like fucking Jared Leto and Camp Wilder.
SPEAKER_04I don't want to approach people. I'm gonna shoot people with a gun.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, who who who's left?
SPEAKER_03Uh there is one one minion and the uh police commander.
SPEAKER_09Hmm.
SPEAKER_08One Can I can I I I I would I would like to use my chain gun to bring the uh police commander to me so I can uh cut him in half with uh uh uh bullets. Ayo.
SPEAKER_03Um since he is in short range, you wouldn't need to use your grappling gun to bring him closer. That's a shame.
SPEAKER_08Can I use it for extra damage?
SPEAKER_03Um I don't think it would help you give extra damage at this point.
SPEAKER_06Oh, unless you want to use it to bring it in closer, and then Meyer could just be ready with her sword and just like shwick him in half. Can we?
SPEAKER_04You can shoot and grapple him and I can take out the minion.
SPEAKER_03So we can treat like it's on one weapon, but we can treat it as dual wielding that the grapple launcher and the uh shotgun are gonna count as kind of two weapons almost. Okay. Uh so the grapple launcher is gonna be your primary weapon, that's to bring him in. And then if you uh get to advantage, you can spend that to also shoot him with the shotgun. Awesome. Alright, let's do it. So, uh the forearm grip, uh, he's at short range. Um that's that would be one purple regardless. So that's gonna be a one purple ranged heavy. Uh it does have accurate, so you can add that uh blue on. Because it's dual wielding, you'll have to uh upgrade the difficulty as well. So it'll be two purple and one blue. Okay.
SPEAKER_08So four success and a triumph.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so you can uh launch your grappling hook from under your shotgun, uh, hit the button, it yanks him towards you, reeling him in right to like the the barrel of your gun so it's poking into his ribs, and then you can just pull the trigger and fire.
SPEAKER_08Can I change my character from a from a James Bond ripoff to the tomb guy? Just like in the middle of two to three. Um, rip and tear, guys!
SPEAKER_04It's murder hobo time.
SPEAKER_03Uh extra that's eight plus four is twelve before his soak. So that's eight point of wound. He does have uh some SWAT armor, so it does you don't like rip right through him, but yeah, point blank with a shotgun is still uh damaging him quite a bit. Okay. Okay. I can work with it. I can work I can work with that. And so Meyer now, this uh this guy is grappled to the end of uh Al's gun. He is in with in engaged range with you if you want to finish him off. Sure. Or I guess Vanry could as well, either one of you melee people.
SPEAKER_06I feel like in this particular instance it would be cooler if Meyer just sliced him in half. Oh shit. Hell yeah. Not that I would admit it, but like, you know, it would be very cool right now.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so uh you've got uh he's got a rank of adversary, so that'll be against a red and a purple.
SPEAKER_04Three advantage.
SPEAKER_06Damn, Meyer. I let you I let you take it and you do this to me. Cut his clothes off. Is it odd as hell? Is that the advantage?
SPEAKER_04I I try and cut him in half, but I miss so bad that I just cut all his clothes. Damn it, but he has an eight-pack. Can I humiliate him at least?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you can you can humiliate him, slice all of his clothes off. Uh, and in his uh haste to cover up his genital, he does drop his gun. Uh, but now now he can go. So uh he is going to So he's going he's just gonna do the tactical direction. He's going to just instruct them to fire on Al. Uh they're gonna get a blue onto their check. Um there is only one guy in that group left, so he's going to need it. Uh because he this this guy is on the end of Al's gun, though, they're gonna have to add a blue and a black. You're at uh short range. Um I'm gonna give him a Dasty point. I'm gonna give him a fighting chance to not not kill their guy. Fail, fail, fail. One success, so they shoot you with a blaster pistol, Al. Those bitches. Is that seven to before your soak? Uh so they do carefully aim around their commander and they do kind of hit you with a couple of glancing blows.
SPEAKER_06That means my turn.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_06Can I do a mortal combat style uppercut on the commander and just try to punch his head and spine out?
SPEAKER_03Uh, sure.
SPEAKER_06You know, my move!
SPEAKER_03As they do. Uh, so that'll be a red and a purple.
SPEAKER_06Red and a purple. I'll take a strain to upgrade, and we'll add our force. Four success, three advantage, three light side and a dark side. Uh, what's your crit? Uh three. I crit this bitch. And I'll I'll use that strain to offset the or I'll use that dark side to offset the strain I took. I feel like that's gonna be enough to burk him.
SPEAKER_03It's it's up to you, I think, whether or not you want to add. Cause either way won't take him over his wound threshold.
SPEAKER_06What? Whatever. I'll I'll I'll get the other the the extra success, so uh hopefully whoever goes next to just kinda blow on him and it'll fall over. But I wanna crit him.
SPEAKER_03And crit him.
SPEAKER_06Two, fuck that.
SPEAKER_03Oh, actually, no, two in this in this case is good. Oh, why? Because you know when you said blow on him and he'll fall over? Two is a minor nick. Makes the target suffer one strain. This guy's a rival level, he doesn't have strain, so he takes it as a wound.
SPEAKER_06Oh fuck does that take him over then?
SPEAKER_03Yes. Yeah! Um, so what you did here is like you get to the finish him part of the round, and then Vanry just does this weird little like shuffle, and then she just punches him and he falls over. She missed the input. This rules.
SPEAKER_06That was what I was trying to do.
SPEAKER_03Well, too bad. You did it. Uh, back to back to the top of the round, there is one cowering uh officer left in this basement.
SPEAKER_06Oh, this poor Weedy.
SPEAKER_03The uh the guy who led you into the trap, he has scurried back up the ladder and is now gone.
SPEAKER_06Is he is he is he totally gone or could we catch him? Because we don't know how to do it.
SPEAKER_03Well, he's like scurrying back up the ladder, trying to to move the panel out of the way quickly.
SPEAKER_06Nah, bitch, stop! I have a stupid idea. Um, the guy on the ladder, how far away would he be?
SPEAKER_03Um. Short range? It's yeah, probably, because this is just a uh municipal basement. It's not like a deep cavern or anything.
SPEAKER_06Okay, can I?
SPEAKER_03Unless you want I mean, Al could just yank him down.
SPEAKER_06No, no, no. Can I? Can I try to do a far strike on this guy in his back so hard that he goes through the ladder and gets like split up into a bunch of little ladder-sized pieces? I want a 13 ghost this guy.
SPEAKER_03So, yeah, he's short range, so that'll be a uh a one purple brawl. You'll have to use your force.
SPEAKER_06Okay, I'll take another strain. Uh two success, four advantage, a light side, and two dark side. So uh I can extend that range, and I think I can use that other dark side to get another success, too.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Uh do you want to roll your crit then?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, let me play-doh this guy. 43.
SPEAKER_07Play-doh. Yeah, put him on a plate.
SPEAKER_03Fold over. He's knocked prone. So that that would just knock him right off the ladder.
SPEAKER_06So he doesn't get play-do'd?
SPEAKER_03Oh, play-doh. But it's like it's he gets knocked prone. So it's like he gets kind of knocked into it, and it he does sort of like fold around it, but then he starts like sliding down.
SPEAKER_06Does he at least get folded the wrong way so I can still have 13 ghosts in him?
SPEAKER_03Well, he kind of like peels off and falls down and lands on his back with a thump, and like his body has like these like indents from where the ladder was.
SPEAKER_06Okay, I accept that. Thank you for letting me do this, everyone.
SPEAKER_03What are you gonna do with this uh last cowering police officer?
SPEAKER_06Should he be the one that we question?
SPEAKER_07We should probably question one of them at least. And question him. And does he have anything useful though?
SPEAKER_04Hey, why do people like want to kill this Garrett guy?
SPEAKER_03Who what are you talking about? We don't. We're we're we're luring in people who are anti-monarchists, scum like you.
SPEAKER_04No, I mean like why do other people want to kill him?
SPEAKER_03I don't know. I don't know what's going on in other people's heads. It's because they're evil, probably.
SPEAKER_04Uh, this guy sucks. Yeah, I guess you're not a detective, so we don't need you.
SPEAKER_03Look, I heard that anti-monarchists are part of a secret cabal who lure children into the basements of pizza places, and they do awful, terrible things to them down there, and they drink their blood to keep them young. That's what I heard.
SPEAKER_06Anti-monarchists into the basement of a pizza place.
SPEAKER_07Listen, no, nobody here drinks people's blood to stay young. That's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_03The anti-monarchist elites are they're trying to steal all the children and they're gonna turn the frickin' frogs gay.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god. Should I just kill this guy?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, if you if you don't have like good information for us, I guess we have no use to use.
SPEAKER_08He's he's honestly of no use to us.
SPEAKER_03Wait, wait, wait. What do you what do you want to know? Because I don't I don't want to die though.
SPEAKER_04Like where's Garrick held up?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, we need to kill him. So if you don't want to die, you have to tell us how to kill him.
SPEAKER_03Look, I can't I can't help you with that.
SPEAKER_06Okay, but I can snap your spine over my knee, so like what's it gonna be here?
SPEAKER_04What has this guy ever done for you to make you this loyal to him?
SPEAKER_03Right? Uh well, see, uh, Garrick said that he would eliminate all of the cultists and the cabals that are draining the blood of the children on Tregalis.
SPEAKER_04Okay, whose blood got drained?
SPEAKER_03Uh the kids. Which kids?
SPEAKER_04Do you know any?
SPEAKER_03Have you ever ordered a cabinet off the Hollonet? And have you ever noticed that the cabinets have the names of like people? That's because when you buy it, the reason the cabinets are so expensive is because they're not actually cabinets, they're people.
SPEAKER_04I think it'd be a mercy to put this guy out of his misery.
SPEAKER_06You you said that there was like the other like rebellion people here that are just kind of all flopped in a corner. Are any of them conscious?
SPEAKER_03Um, it's hard to tell. They're like some of them are like moving and groaning, but hey, are any of you uh awake and cognizant?
SPEAKER_06Uh no. Cause like this guy might have information, but it's like he might also not have any information that those people don't, and then like we can just fucking kill him. I mean, yeah, go for it.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, you do you, fam. I like if you feel like like I'm okay with just like ending him just because like I I don't know if there's any kind of uh any more use for this guy, but I don't know.
SPEAKER_06This guy totally sucks. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god, unless Robbie is, are you hungry? I can leave him for you if you want.
SPEAKER_07Oh, you want the elites to drink blood. Hey, well. You've come to the right place. How ironic. Don't you think? Yeah, I'll force dust him. I've already I've already uh forced you know, force killed a bunch of other people. Might as well. Yeah, you can just roll your force. Add one more. Okay.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, get a little yummy.
SPEAKER_07Somehow I biff this. He's defenseless and standing right in front of me, and yet somehow I didn't kill him. He's your one true love. You couldn't possibly One Dark Side four light side. Well that's uh that's overwhelming light.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I mean, it's enough to kill him with the dark though.
SPEAKER_07That's right. Dark all the shell.
SPEAKER_03Dark Hall of the Light. So so you can uh uh feed on him and uh as you as you approach, he says, uh I I I saw Garrick's space tube videos and he said that the power of the light is gonna come and it's gonna it's gonna empower everyone to kill all you all you scum, all you s all you evil people. One day the army the armies of the light are gonna come and they're gonna murder you and there's gonna be plagues and there's gonna be there's gonna be monsters and they're gonna rip you all to shreds with the power of the light, and then you can fucking just devour him because he's useless.
SPEAKER_07Oh, there are mumps.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, I'm I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna see if I can shotgun his face.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, Rhombius has got it. Oh yeah. I'm gonna quietly mock him, do a little little dance. Eh, the army of knights gonna can vanquish the darkness. Grow up.
SPEAKER_03Grow fucking up. This guy's uh drank the Kool-Aid, uh can be drank by Rhombius. There you go. Delicious Kool-Aid.
SPEAKER_07Yum yum!
SPEAKER_06This guy's blue flavor.
SPEAKER_07I think I got that much light side because even the light side's like, yeah, we this guy doesn't represent us. Yeah. Get rid of him. You're helping both sides of the forest, really.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Okay, can we try to um bring around some of these uh resistance people and see if they have better information?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you can rouse these rouse these people who are against the rouse dowers. And Rouse these dowers. Uh eventually they come to and they they thank you for for helping them and they they say, What who who are you guys? Where did you come from? We thought we we thought that there there was gonna be a resistance, but it turned out it was just a a roost to get us all into one place and round us up.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah, no, we fell for that too. It's fine. It happens to the best of us, and that's what we are.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, this is more embarrassing than the time I put 50,000 credits in a shoebox and gave it to a guy in a speeder.
SPEAKER_05Oh sweetie.
SPEAKER_03Thank you for uh, you know, helping me, because I I really need to get back home. I'm supposed to to wire some credits to uh my girlfriend in uh Space Canada.
SPEAKER_05Um my god.
SPEAKER_08Space Canada isn't a real place. I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_03Oh, oh, uh no, it was uh Kannada. My girlfriend Kanada. Oh, yes, of course. Wait a minute. Oh wait.
SPEAKER_05That is a real person.
SPEAKER_03Scams on scams.
SPEAKER_04God, remember? Oh, I pull I pull my gang aside. Remember, we are supposed to like pin this murder on somebody.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Oh my god. I just got so caught up with the bloodlust, I totally forgot about that. Thank you, Maya.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_04What was your name, you guys? Yeah. Yeah, wanna come with us?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, do you know how to get into the castle? You can help us do a little merc. I bet uh your girlfriend Kanada would think it was so hot. So hot. So hot. Fucking hot. She sounds like someone who loves murder.
SPEAKER_03Well, okay, look, I I can't help you, but I bet I bet we would fit into some of those guard uniforms, at least the ones that aren't full of bullet holes.
SPEAKER_05Fair. Okay.
SPEAKER_08You uh how do how do we how do we frame him? Do we just be like, yeah, you go ahead and do that. We're gonna go this way.
SPEAKER_04We'll just bring him along and then like leave him at the scene of the crime.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. We just knock him out and leave him there after with a sign that said I did it. That'll do. Yeah, the sign says it says uh I did it, but as if at the very, very top, so tiny. Sure, can we put on these guard uniforms? How many are full of bullets? I guess not most of them are, because I guess Rhombius did do most of killing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Rom Rhombius uh just uh murdered five people, so there is enough for all of you and him, and then the uh guard captain. His clothes are full of uh shotgun shells and bullets and stuff, but okay, so he can't trust as the captain.
SPEAKER_06Like that one guy, he didn't get split in half. His uniform's just like a little dented.
SPEAKER_03Well, that guy, uh, he was disguised as a resistance member, so he wasn't wearing uniform.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah, that's right. Whatever, we got the five.
SPEAKER_03So you can uh strip these uh guards, and they're not all humans, so you won't necessarily draw attention. And you can dress in the uh uniforms of these guards with all of their uh guard key cards and passes.
SPEAKER_08And then we just and then we just sneak away.
SPEAKER_06And we just stroll right on into the palace, baby.
SPEAKER_03Uh well you can uh leave the abandoned shop with your Patsy, and as you make your way towards the palace, uh most people do kind of give you dirty looks, and uh a couple of them like as you after you pass, you may notice them spitting after you.
SPEAKER_06Damn, people really don't like this guy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's why that's why we've been trying to uh uh take him out.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god, we are gonna be heroes again for killing this guy.
SPEAKER_08For just one day.
SPEAKER_06I'm not sure if you know, but I am a famous hero.
SPEAKER_08I have a whole television show about me.
SPEAKER_07Have you seen my holograma? I'm famous, notorious, whichever one of those is better.
SPEAKER_03So you can uh make your way towards the palace. Uh there are guards at the gates. You just gotta give him a casual nod as we go in. Sup. Howdy doody. You can't go in, the gate is closed.
SPEAKER_06Uh, can we go in? Ask the guards.
SPEAKER_08Do we have a card do we have a card in the costumes that we just or in the uh disguises we stole?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you do you do have their their IDs, uh, but if they bring anything up on a screen, it may not resemble you.
SPEAKER_08Can is is there a picture on the card itself? Can I can I just do mine and like change see if I can like change my face into the guy?
SPEAKER_03Um there isn't a picture on the card itself, but you would have seen the guy whose clothes you stole.
SPEAKER_08Can I roll something to become the man?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, give me a deception. Uh it's a three-purple deception, I think, for your three purps decepts.
SPEAKER_08One success, one advantage. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so you can uh disguise yourself as this guy, and you can present your ID first, and you plug it into the terminal at the gate, and a little hologram of the guy whose identity you stole pops up, and it flashes green, and the guard allows you through the gate.
SPEAKER_08I I I do a very proud walk on the other side there. Um, is there any way this doesn't get the rest of everybody else out, does it? Just just you. Shit. Um, is there can I roll a perception to see if there's anything that I could do to like stealthfully f uh fuck up the program there so that like they're wasting our time and they just let us go anyway.
SPEAKER_03You would probably Or or or so something. I need inspiration. Um if you have the bypass security, you if somebody is able to distract the guards, you might be able to disable the security device or at least make it so it uh gives false positives.
SPEAKER_07Distract like close-up magic?
SPEAKER_06Ooh! Oh my god, and Meyer used distracting behavior. Rombius of Rombius does close-up magic. I'll clap my ass cheeks.
unknownWhat the fuck?
SPEAKER_07I'll clap my ass cheeks. Now while I prepare for the next trick, my lovely head. My lovely uh instant. Or should I say ass thicksant?
SPEAKER_06Ass thickstant.
SPEAKER_07That might be the worst joke I've ever made.
SPEAKER_06Maybe I'll let Ron because I take the lead on that.
SPEAKER_08You you still got a whole life ahead of you.
SPEAKER_03Oh boy. Okay, so uh these guards you're gonna have to uh charm them, give you a uh a destiny point. Uh they are on the job, so we'll call that uh a red and a black. Okay.
SPEAKER_07Three success, two advantage.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so uh that can give a blue onto Al's uh Skullduggery roll to uh disable the security device. Um so I don't know what kind of tools you have. You're gonna have to do this kind of uh stealthily and silently. So we'll say that this is uh three purple and a black.
SPEAKER_08Got this. Four success, one advantage.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so you can uh disable it in a way that it will present false positives whenever the uh other cards are inserted, and the rest of your gang can quickly just put their cards in. A hologram pops up briefly for a second, flashes green, and you can pull the cards out before anybody looks too closely at what the hologram is.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I'm totally that guy. I am a guy.
SPEAKER_08Now let's all get past the line and then get out of here before anybody uh before anybody gets like any sorts of suspicious.
SPEAKER_03And uh you can now head into the castle proper.
SPEAKER_07Is there a freak? It's not a proper castle.
SPEAKER_03Yes, there is. You can see as you enter uh the castle, a little boy about uh somewhere between like 10 to 13 years old, uh is running down uh the stairs uh and he says, Oh, excuse me, guards, excuse me, guards, and he coughs. He looks very pale and sickly, and he trips and he stumbles. Uh he has these like braces on his legs, and he he seems like he's like uh a real tiny Tim ass kid.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Go follow the ball. Did you go and rough house some more of those ruffians out there that are trying to kill us ever so?
SPEAKER_06I'm not gonna say anything. I'm going to let somebody who's good at deception answer that.
SPEAKER_08Oh, absolutely. We uh uh we're somebody who's read deception.
SPEAKER_04How hard is it to lie to a child?
SPEAKER_06Oh no, maybe this child is superpower.
SPEAKER_08Listen listen, kid, as long as as long as you do your part and invest in uh bear bonds and make sure and make sure that uh everybody has a bullet in their gun, then kid, we could do anything. Invest, what do you mean? I'm the prince! I'm Prince Troy Rousdower. Again, like, you know, you you and your family have to help us uh have to help us win this war. And I I think we can do it, you uh you and I. We just gotta be we just gotta be sure that everything is copacetic. And to answer your question, yes, we absolut we absolutely took kick the taint out of them.
SPEAKER_01Did you crush their skulls? Did you use big rocks on them?
SPEAKER_08Oh, I just you I just used my head. I I I just like headbutted uh them like over and over again and eventually uh their head caved in and my head reigned supreme.
SPEAKER_01And he points to your shotgun and he says, What is that? I haven't seen the gods use that before, and it's all covered in blood. What is that?
SPEAKER_08Oh, uh one of the one of the bad guys had uh had this here. I decided I decided that uh uh take this as a little a little bit of a souvenir. I might go uh skeet shooting with it.
SPEAKER_01Let me see it, I want to hold it.
SPEAKER_08No, that's good, that's good, kid. I'm fine.
SPEAKER_01Let me see it, I want to hold it.
SPEAKER_08Can I shoot this kid?
SPEAKER_01Make sure to point it at your face, kid.
SPEAKER_08Yes, shoot the prince and make it look like a eye out. Listen, listen, kid. You'll shoot your eye out. You'll you'll shoot your eye out, and then I start walking away.
SPEAKER_01But I want it, I want it! I'm going to tell mommy and daddy, and then you're going to be put in the stocks. I want it. I'm going to I'm going to call I'm going to call Gary, and he's going to make you give it to me.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, yeah, you should call him.
SPEAKER_08We need to call him. Absolutely. Call uh call him, and then we'll talk to uh together tomorrow about what a little shit you are.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, call him. Call him. Call him, you bitch. Alright, I will.
SPEAKER_03And he presses a button on his fucking belt. He's got like all these like little fucking like mechanical boxes and electronic gadgets on his belt, and he presses one in and he says, Garrick, Mr.
SPEAKER_01Iblis, come down here. One of the guards is being unruly, and I want to touch his gun and he won't let me have it. Yeah, because you're a little bitch.
SPEAKER_03Get here faster. And you see, like, slinking out from behind a mirror.
SPEAKER_04This Oh my god, what is that? It's a young no. Oh god!
SPEAKER_03Like this He might be human. Uh he's wearing this like like long dark cloak and he has this like long stringy hair, but he has this like silver face mask on. Yeah. And he kind of like floats towards you almost. Um it it seems like he's floating, um, but you might hear uh softly uh the roll of roller skates underneath his cloak. He kind of like comes to a stop, a bit of a stuttery stop on his on his floating skates. And he says, Do as the boy asks. What?
SPEAKER_06No, I found no, I found listen, I'm tired.
SPEAKER_03Do as the boy asks.
SPEAKER_06I can't hear you to take all your mask off. Yeah, yeah, I can't I can't understand you.
SPEAKER_03You must do as the boy asks.
SPEAKER_04Look, the gun is no exoriserdre lollipop. Can't read it. Got any carchie tones? It's castigating.
SPEAKER_03I I put the safety on and I give it to him, and uh the boy takes it and he flips the safety off and he points it at you. I take the gun back. No, I take a I take the gun back forcefully. And uh Garrick, he says, What? I sh Fuck it!
SPEAKER_08Fuck it! Fuck it! I'm tired of this. I'm gonna- I'm going to kill this kid. What is your discipline? Okay, what is my discipline? Uh, it is three green. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Deflected at the unknown. Then we can pin the murder on the child.
SPEAKER_03Oh interesting. Okay, so he gets three success and a threat on his discipline against your discipline. Now I'm gonna roll his force. Wait, the child's? No, uh, Garrick. Okay, oh, the unknowns. Uh he got four dark side. So, um because Because he he is going to uh take some of that as strain, or maybe that threat will allow you it'll give you a chance to try and resist this here. Uh because he uses his influence power to make you think it is a very good idea to stand there still while the boy is holding this gun and pointing it at you.
SPEAKER_08Can I can I resist in any way?
SPEAKER_03He got that threat if you want to try. You did fail the discipline roll, so it might be difficult, but if somebody else wants to notice what he's doing.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, what would it be for one of us to notice?
SPEAKER_03Perception? Uh yeah. He only got uh got one threat. Uh so we can call that call that a two-purple perception.
SPEAKER_04Two failure, two advantage.
SPEAKER_06I'll try it. Interesting. Three failure, two advantage, and a triumph. Okay.
SPEAKER_03One success. Rhombius, um, you as a master manipulator yourself, you realize what's happening, that this Garrick fellow is uh using some of his abilities to make Al stand right in the uh in the way of where this kid is gonna shoot him with a fucking shotgun, with his own shotgun. Can I push him out of the way? With the way that you are situated, um, you just got a success. So you wouldn't be able to, but Meyer and Vanry, they got advantage and triumph. So although so they're close enough to do something, you are not. You can you can shout to them to do something.
SPEAKER_07Get him out of the way!
SPEAKER_04Can I whack the gun with my my sword?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Meyer and Vanry can both uh do something. You both got those advantages, so that'll both give you uh the ability to uh intercede here, Vanry, because you got that triumph. Um you could Meyer, you're you're you're close enough to the boy, but Vanry, you're you could go after either the boy or the man.
SPEAKER_06Ooh. Go after the man. If Meyer's Yeah, if you get the boy, I'll get the man. I'm not going after the force, dude. I'm sorry. I'll beat up a child instead. I could go after someone my own size.
SPEAKER_04Knocking the gun out of his hands. Or like away.
SPEAKER_03Alright, so that'll be uh a brawl, I guess, to uh pull the gun out of his hand?
SPEAKER_06I was gonna hit it with my sword. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Just get him too.
SPEAKER_06Why do you just cut his hands off?
SPEAKER_03Okay, a melee then.
SPEAKER_06Uh I'm not getting his hands off.
SPEAKER_03So that'll be um standard uh two purple, but if you are using your sword, just in case, I'm gonna use a destiny point here. Let's turn that into a red and a purple in case you do accidentally cut this sick little kid's hands off. I mean put it aroused done for the galaxy.
SPEAKER_04Two failure, five advantage.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03Um, so your stated goal was to knock the gun out of his hand. You cannot do that if you want to chop off his hands with five advantage, you can.
SPEAKER_08Listen.
SPEAKER_04How old is he?
SPEAKER_03I'm not gonna tell you what to do.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, I'm not gonna tell you what to do and what or what not to do, but fucking do it.
SPEAKER_04I mean he's gonna shoot you.
SPEAKER_03Yes, you can you can slice this kid's uh hands off before he's able to pull the trigger.
SPEAKER_04He's rich, they've got prosthetics.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, this children's also, also, also, um, this hasn't been brought up before, but this child sucks.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's got bad spots. Yeah, fuck the yeah, this isn't a lightsaber, so I'm sure he'll bleed profusely.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, as as you do, like blood splatters on his face and gets in his bowl cut.
SPEAKER_06Damn, Meyer, you're cold-blooded, huh?
SPEAKER_04He was gonna kill.
SPEAKER_06This guy slithered out from behind a mirror. Can I how far is he engaged or short range?
SPEAKER_03Uh you're all kind of You would be short range for everybody but you. You you would be engaged with him.
SPEAKER_06Um, can I, um uh, but do I want to touch this guy? Uh, you might no, I'll I'll can can I use Brawl to just like grab his head and just try to smash it into the mirror over and over and over again.
SPEAKER_03Um, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Just beat us. I'm not gonna hurt ya, I'm just gonna bash your fucking brains in.
SPEAKER_08Are you okay, Jack?
SPEAKER_04God, you'll love Dune too.
SPEAKER_03He uh does not have uh any combat abilities, he is not that kind of guy, he does not have adversary or defense. So there will just be a two purple brawl.
SPEAKER_06Oh, what a bitch. Two success, two advantage, two light side, and a dark side. I'll I'll use that dark side so I can crit him. And just get another advantage. 44. What's 44?
SPEAKER_08I I genuinely look forward to becoming an enemy of the state. Uh bull Boldover.
SPEAKER_04How do we pin this on somebody else now?
SPEAKER_06We still have that guy with us. We can still knock him out. Um, hey, is he dead? Is that enough to kill him or does he still because uh No, he's he's still.
SPEAKER_03Do you wanna do you wanna change that?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I'll do my um improved precision strike and change it to overpowered so I can just roll again.
SPEAKER_08Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_06Five success, two threat, two light side, and one dark side. Hmm. I will. What do we have for destiny? You have four. Because if I if I flip that, then I can use those two dark side to uh cancel out the threat, so I just have five success. Okay. With love! I'm murdering with love, I'm bashing this guy's skull into a fine paste with love.
SPEAKER_08I just got this shotgun. This guy ain't fucking taking it away from me. And I appreciate it. You guys are my best friends.
SPEAKER_06You're one of our best friends too. Oh my god. I'm covered in gore. I just love the guy so much.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you you can you smash his head into the mirror, uh, filling his skull with shards of glass that he drops to the ground. But then Vanry, uh he is he is on the threshold here, so I gotta use a destiny point for this. He does grab your leg. Oh, bitch. With with what little strength he has left. Can I dodge? Uh well, he's rolling his harm power. Uh oh. Oh no. Well, it's fine. You lose your other arm. He gets four dark sides. Oh no.
SPEAKER_04Can you mind wound him or whatever? Take it back.
SPEAKER_03Well we'll we'll see how much damage he does to me. So, uh, he is going to spend one to inflict wounds equal to his intellect. That is three. Starts with three. Okay. Uh he does have control medicine. He does have four ranks of medicine. He is a healer, supposedly. So that is seven points of wound. Okay. So he's going to spend two of his points to uh increase the uh to increase the strength twice. That means uh increase by four. So that's eleven points of wound. Oh dear.
SPEAKER_06And this all bypasses Soak, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. He is also going to spend his last point uh to control status to heal 11 points of wound. Oh no. And um he is also gonna let's c he's gonna combine that with medicine versus resilience. What is your resilience?
SPEAKER_06One yellow, five green, a blue, and take away two blacks.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Okay, a failure and two threat. Get fucked. So if he had succeeded, uh, he would have inflicted a critical injury on you. Ow, bah. But he failed, he failed with two threats, which means there is nothing he can do if you choose to mind bleed him.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god, you know I'm gonna choose that. Hang on. 11. Oh my god, yeah, I have 13 strain. I could take 11 strain to just wipe him the fuck out.
SPEAKER_03So you're at you've taken 12 points of strain now, and you can just like you can feel him sapping the energy from your leg. Your leg starts to like wither and get thin, and it starts to look like the young miss. Because he drains your youthful energy.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god, you bitch! Fuck off. Mind bleed! Curb stall, curb stall. Ew, ew, ew.
SPEAKER_03You can mind bleed him, and with the power of uh positive thinking or negative thinking, and uh your body is a temple, you can just kick him off. No, fuck off. Send the energy right back, take it back, send it back. You dare touch my god! And he falls withered and dead.
SPEAKER_06Yay. Rad. Okay, so we just like take this guy's lightsaber, that's our proof.
SPEAKER_03He doesn't have a lightsaber. He is not, he's just a guy. Can we take his mask? I mean, you can you can take his mask, I guess.
SPEAKER_06Like, I don't know, some souvenir to prove that he's dead?
SPEAKER_03He's he's dead. Uh, word of this will spread. He is the uh advisor to the king of Trigallus. Uh the boy is screaming uh in agony.
SPEAKER_07That's perfect time for.
SPEAKER_03So all of this, so you attacking him and Meyer attacking the boy kind of happened at the same time, which means that he's screaming, uh, and you can hear the sounds of like everybody running towards you now.
SPEAKER_06Uh we run away. What would it be to knock out this Patsy that we brought first and then run away?
SPEAKER_03Do you want to knock him out, or do you just want to like push him over so that he can't uh follow you?
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Or do you want to uh because you're all dressed as guards.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Oh my god! Just like rip off his guard helmet and be like, oh my god, an imposter! Do you want to put the bloodied sword in his hand?
SPEAKER_03Yes, 100%. Wait, that's Meyer's sword though.
SPEAKER_04I'll confiscate it after. Maybe.
SPEAKER_08No, here's what you do. You give him the sword, people come be like, this guy, uh uh, this guy did it, and then you take the sword back, and you're like, oh, for shame. And then you cut his head off.
SPEAKER_06Hell yeah. I mean, unless the kid is like, no, no, it was the other one who did it.
SPEAKER_03Uh, can we knock out the kid before Yeah, give me a brawl to knock the kid out.
SPEAKER_08Has uh okay. Um, does anybody get it, brawl wanna do it? I could just use influence.
SPEAKER_03Sleep! Yeah, I guess I guess Rhombius, you could just like convince him that somebody else did it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Oh yeah, do it.
SPEAKER_03That's perfect, actually.
SPEAKER_07Who am I saying did it?
SPEAKER_04Uh R. Patsy. R.
SPEAKER_07Patsy, yeah. R. Patsy. Robert Patsy. He was in the space twilight movies. The spylight. R. Patsy. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Uh so so do you have uh control do you have control emotion belief? I do. Okay. Uh so this'll be uh oppose discipline versus discipline. Um children have like one in every stat, so do I have better discipline than a child?
SPEAKER_07Does Vanry have better discipline than a child?
SPEAKER_06Uh I got one willpower by dude.
SPEAKER_07I went for the sixth brawn after all.
SPEAKER_03I just realized that, yeah.
SPEAKER_07One success, three advantage.
SPEAKER_03Alright, so uh roll your force then. Okay.
SPEAKER_07That is one dark side, three lightside.
SPEAKER_03That is enough. So you can uh look this kid in the eyes like fucking clockwork orange, uh, hold his eyes open so you can give him the entrancing gaze. And you can like delve into his mind, into his memories of uh being sick and being feeling alone and sad in the castle in this big castle when nobody could help him, and then suddenly this person arrives at the castle, his friend Garrick, to to help him and to to to heal his blood and to make it so he can run and play with the other boys, but he he still has to watch the other boys from inside the castle. He's still not not healed, he's still kept away from the other boys, and uh you can kind of go through his memory palace up until this moment, and the moment where Meyer slices off his hands and where Vanry smashes this guy's face into the mirror, you can replace that with uh Robert Patsyson.
SPEAKER_06I mean, whatever. The other little boys wouldn't have wanted to play with this asshole kid anyways.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, fuck this rich kid.
SPEAKER_06Fuck this kid.
SPEAKER_03And uh you're gonna have to skull Doug the are you are you playing it as if you've already taken the weapon from him, or do you want him to have his fingerprints on the weapon?
SPEAKER_07Put his fingerprints on it. Here, hold this. And then just like punch him and take it.
SPEAKER_03So this will this will be a uh you'll have to reverse p pickpocket him somebody. I can skull Doug. Yeah, prop probably Al, since uh Meyer's busy chopping off the boy's hands. And Rondaus is busy staring into his eyes to convince him that Meyer did not chop his hands off. Okay, what what what are we rolling? Uh so this will be a probably a that you're gonna have to do this very quickly and uh without him noticing. So this is gonna be a skullduggery. Uh just in case you fuck this up, I'll give you another destiny point against a red, a purple, and two blacks.
SPEAKER_08Red, purple, two blacks, skulldog. I can take away those two blacks. So it's just a red and a purple. Red, purple, uh skullduggeries. Okay. Uh four success, one threat, and a triumph. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh yeah, that is enough. You can put the weapon in his hands. Um Meyer wears gloves most of the time with her Mandalorian outfit, so her fingerprints are not on the weapon whatsoever. However, there is a little bit of threat uh because he does, like, as you're doing it, um, as the guards run in, he does shout that they are trying to frame him, that you guys are trying to frame him.
SPEAKER_04Of course a fucking guilty person would say that.
SPEAKER_08Do we look like the type of people who would try and frame somebody? We're honorable.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you do uh you did get that triumph, so it's like, even though he's shouting this, uh the other guards, they seem to be on your side. The boy is yelling that he did it, that he cut off his hands and and uh killed Garrick.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, what a monster.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, this guy should hang Robert Pattinson.
SPEAKER_06I'm glad that we're heroes this season.
SPEAKER_03And the king comes r comes running in. Chardus Rouse Dower himself, and he says, My boy, my boy's massacred my boy!
SPEAKER_04Fuck.
SPEAKER_08He's fine. He's fine. I I mean, don't worry about him, man. He's fine. What has he done to my boy?
SPEAKER_00Uh stuff. Hands, hands tough, tough.
SPEAKER_03You their guards, you caught him!
SPEAKER_08I'm like, ooh, me? Yeah, there was this guy this guy is nuts. This guy is crazy. We should probably arrest him.
SPEAKER_03And yet you were on his patrol. How did you fail to see that he would betray us like this?
SPEAKER_08I we all collectively had to go to the bathroom. We just had this feeling that we needed to go to the bathroom.
SPEAKER_04Also, he was like wearing a mask, so you can't really tell people's intentions when people are wearing a mask, so precisely.
SPEAKER_03You know. So this is gonna be a uh deception?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh what kind of deception? Uh so this is gonna be a deception against his uh discipline. So he's got two ranks of nobody's fool, so this is going to be against two reds and a purple. Purple deception.
SPEAKER_08How many destiny points do we have?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, five.
SPEAKER_08I'm gonna flip one. Nil. It's up to you. A failure, but three advantage. So oops.
SPEAKER_03And he says, I do not believe that you would abandon your post just to go to the bathroom. That is breaking the guard's oath. Never piss. Never back down.
SPEAKER_08Listen, we're sorry. We will gladly take uh a suspension here. We're we failed you, and there's nothing that we could do to uh uh help out with that. So you know so you know what?
SPEAKER_03Good enough, you are uh kicked out of the guard, hand over our uniforms.
SPEAKER_08Aw shucks. Okay, well we'll we'll we'll uh instead of stripping naked here, we'll we'll just uh uh go to the locker room and uh hand in our un uh take switch our clothes and then hand in our uniforms and then Yes, yes, I do not want my son to see your genitals I mean that's good.
SPEAKER_03He's only a boy! He is only a fifteen-year-old boy.
SPEAKER_04Oh god, he's 50.
SPEAKER_05Feel a little less bad now.
SPEAKER_06He's he's very strong.
SPEAKER_05Okay, see uh. Oh my god, I can't believe we got kicked out the card. This is terrible.
SPEAKER_04I'll just take this, I'll I'll drop this off in uh evidence this uh sword.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Sia. I mean not Sia, because we're fired, you know.
SPEAKER_08We're fired.
SPEAKER_03So you are fired, so if you want to try and get your get your weapon back, because the uh I assume the shotgun would also be evidence. Uh this would be a charm, maybe. Sure. Sure. Okay, so he's got uh This will be against four reds. Fuck you.
SPEAKER_08Fuck you. I'm gonna flip another destiny point.
SPEAKER_03Or wait, uh uh is it yeah, let yeah, let's um are we all rolling charm or um if you want, Al, you also have that ability that'll lets that lets you use uh cunning with charm, don't you? Right, yeah.
SPEAKER_07Two success, four threats.
SPEAKER_08So I'm gonna flip a destiny. I'm gonna uh use my cunning for my charm. What was the dice pool again? Four red. Fuck you. Five red. Ooh. Two failure and five advantage.
SPEAKER_06Oh, that's a lot of advantage though.
SPEAKER_08Yeah. Do you wanna re-roll that? Um Do you dare? Yeah, I'm gonna re-roll it. Hey, three success, one advantage. There we go.
SPEAKER_04Ah, nice. Do I have to roll or does that count for mine too?
SPEAKER_03Um, you can try rolling if you want. If if it's if it's a really bad roll, it could uh harm you. But uh if it's a neutral or good roll, it could be.
SPEAKER_04Do we do we have any more destiny?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you've got three.
SPEAKER_04I'll downgrade one of his and then I'll also suffer a strain to downgrade another one because I have one rank of congenial. Alright, let's go.
SPEAKER_08What have you done?
SPEAKER_04For success.
SPEAKER_08Okay.
SPEAKER_04Two threats.
SPEAKER_08I'm waiting for that despair.
SPEAKER_04Two threats.
SPEAKER_08How many despair? Just one.
SPEAKER_04Just one despair.
SPEAKER_03Okay. So the king says, take this shotgun out of my sight. I don't want to see it. But the sword must be entered into evidence personally. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_04What do you mean personally?
SPEAKER_03I will take it myself.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_04What if we just like grab it and run?
SPEAKER_08Do you do you have do you have a tear coming out of your eye?
SPEAKER_04No, I was gonna follow him and fucking knock him out from behind. I've got stunned setting up my blast pistol.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah, we have to go this way for the locker room anyway. Yeah, we're gonna the locker room. Don't mind us.
SPEAKER_03Alright, you can follow the king.
SPEAKER_08Um, are you sure you want to do this?
SPEAKER_03Don't you like maybe you can just buy another. And his bodyguards?
SPEAKER_04How many?
SPEAKER_03Uh two, but they look strong. These would be Nemesis level bodyguards.
SPEAKER_06Unless you just want to let it go, Meyer. This is a really good sword. This is a really good sword. How fast does everyone feel?
SPEAKER_08Not that fast.
SPEAKER_04I have okay athletics and coordination.
SPEAKER_06Not super athletic. Okay, but I have six drawn now. I'll just carry all of you. Meyer grab the sword, I'll pick her up. What do you want to do, Meyer? It's your sword.
SPEAKER_04Fuck it, I'm grabbing the sword. Let's go. Oh fuck!
SPEAKER_03Uh are you going to try and uh pickpocket the sword or are you just gonna grab it?
SPEAKER_04How is he where it's how how is he holding it?
SPEAKER_06Oh my god, yeah, if like one of us, if maybe Ramius does his close-up magic on the other side, and then you could like slide something else in his grip where the sword is and just sort of like it's a little bit more than a little bit.
SPEAKER_03If you want to try and skulldug it, it'll be very it'll be very difficult, but theoretically you could. Or if you want I or we could call it, you could uh use destiny point and we call it an impossible roll.
SPEAKER_04What does that mean?
SPEAKER_03Uh that means that um it's a red and four purples, uh, and if you fail, you have to spend two destiny points to do it. Uh and if you fail, then you you know you don't get another chance.
SPEAKER_04I mean I can re-roll one athletics or coordination for running away.
SPEAKER_03See, just gr just grabbing it and running wouldn't be impossible, but like stealing it out of his hands would be quote unquote impossible.
SPEAKER_08How's how fucking can I can I help her in any way? Like, can or one of us help her like with like a distracting behavior or something like that? Uh well she's got distracting behavior. Hey, look over there, yoink.
SPEAKER_03What's your skull doggree?
SPEAKER_08Mine is two uh two yellow, two green, and two black. Or two minus black.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I've got two yellow, one green, and minus three black.
SPEAKER_08I I can I can if you want to distract, I can seal. I'm here for you. I already said that you guys are my best friends. I'm gonna I'm gonna hold to that.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna do a fucking Pratfall and loudly clatter to the ground.
SPEAKER_03Oh no! Okay, so if you're gonna do a distracting behavior, normally that adds um threat, but since uh with this rule we can say it adds advantage. So uh Al, if you're pickpocketing, that'll be against a red for purple, and you can add two advantage. I'm scared, you guys. I'm scared.
SPEAKER_06I just like the idea of these guards that he just fired and then one of them like runs in front and just does a death drop on the ground. I slipped. Okay.
SPEAKER_08What the fuck is that? That sounds good. I don't know. Um, okay. One second. Let me adjust my ears for a second because I've been in these headphones for a while. I'm gonna keep you guys in suspense for a second. Okay. What the fuck is this? Okay. Um, you said what one red four purple, right? Yeah. I just wanna Okay. One success, two threat, one triumph, one despair. Excellent.
SPEAKER_03So, um you can pilfer it, but uh you the way you can pilfer it because you got that threat and despair is that you have to like Indiana Jones it, you have to replace it with something else. Oh my god, Al, do you still have that lightsaber?
SPEAKER_08I was about to say, actually.
SPEAKER_06You never use that anyways.
SPEAKER_08Are you guys are you guys okay with me giving away the lightsaber?
SPEAKER_04Well, we couldn't use it for that other thing.
SPEAKER_08What other thing?
SPEAKER_04Proving that we could kill that guy. Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_08I mean, that's done by that's done by now. That doesn't matter. Alright, yeah, yeah, he can have a lightsaber.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so, um, because the thing is. I never said she gave you back the lightsaber.
SPEAKER_07Oh shit!
SPEAKER_03Fuck you. But the triumph can be that you have it. My head hurts. Yeah, yeah, I'll I'll have it. I'll I'll take it. So you manage to take this lightsaber back, uh, and you can, Indiana Jones 3-2-1 swap it out, uh, trading your universal cutting tool for Meyer's Beskar sword. And uh, you did get those two advantage. Uh, so in order for you to actually make it out of the castle, this is gonna require a two-purple uh stealth rule.
SPEAKER_08My stealth has to be better now, right? Yes it does. Okay. Two success to advantage.
SPEAKER_04Uh, one success to advantage.
SPEAKER_08Goodbye, lightsaber. I love you. I'll take a straight and upgrade.
SPEAKER_04I love it. You took it out of your this is getting because this is hmm.
SPEAKER_03The question is, is this the same encounter where you took all that strain?
SPEAKER_06Oh god. Well, I still should have had two left.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you because you're at 13 now.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I just won't take any more. Okay. That gives me two success, two threat. Can you imagine we're trying to sneak out advantage and passes out?
SPEAKER_03One advantage. Cool. You guys can try and sneak out, but as you're going back to the foyer, there is this big uh ambulance that's come to tend to the boy who got his hands chopped off.
SPEAKER_04By some guy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, some monster. The guard has been taken away to the stocks, or whatever punishment awaits him, this this interloper. Uh turns out he's not even a guard at all. He's just some guy. Oh my god. Fucking scandalous. Right? Uh Al and Meyer, you can sneak out of the palace. Uh Vanry, you can sneak out of the palace. But as you are crossing the threshold, those threat are gonna give you two strain. No! You pass out, crumple in front like in front of the door, like there's like a couple of stairs leading up, and you just like all the mental strain you've taken catches up to you, and you just like faint and pass out and drop and roll down the stairs. Uh everybody turns and looks, and they see you, Rhombius, just standing next to her.
SPEAKER_07Oh.
SPEAKER_03She's she just say that she's had a long day and carry her away. The uh the doctors and the medics administering the boy, they say, Hey, do you is did something happen there? Does she need help? Oh no. You know, you know. Women, right? Oh yeah, I gotcha, I gotcha. Women, of course, that can't stand the sight of blood. So the group of you can drag uh Vandry's unconscious body back to the ship. Fuck it.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, Vandry just had one bad thought.
SPEAKER_03She had one of those intrusive thoughts where it's like, what if I just fell?
SPEAKER_06I did it, you guys. I did it. What if some of that guy's blood got in my mouth and he had some sort of blood disease and I contract it now? Oof.
SPEAKER_03She exceeded the amount of thoughts she's allowed per day.
SPEAKER_08One thought a day, and it's always just her. That feels like every day at work for me. Oh fuck, I've had too many thoughts. Wait, are you the thought, Devin?
unknownAre you the thought?
SPEAKER_08T H-O-T? Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_09I'm the bitch.
SPEAKER_03But you've made it. You uh successfully framed some random uh resistance person for the murder of uh this uh Garrick Iblis character. You've cut off a little boy's hands. Uh he was 15'd. You've given up Hal's lightsaber. But uh, once news of this filters out, you should be able to uh collect your 40,000 credits and potentially uh select another target from the deck. Next time on Star Wars Empire Wreckers. This week's episode is brought to you by our top patrons, Eric Charles Perazzo, Jeffrey Zamuto, Laser, LKB, Matthew Lynette, Michael Weingartner, Suki Nintendo, and Vaginator.