S12E09 - Met Gala

Quest for the power baby! After running afoul of the bounty hunter's guild, the Empire Wreckers now seek the identity of the Dealer of The Deck, a mysterious individual who is responsible for bounties against powerful Force sensitive individuals.

Visiting a prophet of Voss, the crew of the Chrome Cock learned clues that point to the Dealer being a member of the Jedi Council, cloistered away in the temple on Coruscant.

In an attempt to gain access to the temple, the Wreckers now seek to deliver unto them a child so powerful in the force that he would be irresistible to Order so desperately seeking to get their hands on the next generation....

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Wreckers, the Star Wars actual play podcast equivalent of a second run theater. Who's ready to watch Greece and Transformers Rise of the Beasts today?

SPEAKER_03 0:12

Um, Vanry America is ready yet to watch Grease and whatever that Transformers movie was, but you're not allowed to watch them until you sit through this 10-minute segment where Vanry shows you exactly the correct form for the perfect something or other. I forgot which exercise I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

And Meyer is ready to suffer a slow death by getting trapped in the unwashed floors.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

And if you're ready to get out of a sticky situation, why don't you come along with us to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in Star Wars. Quest for the Power Baby! After running afoul of the Bounty Hunters Guild, the Umpire Wreckers now seek the identity of the Dealer of the Deck, a mysterious individual who is responsible for bounties against powerful, force-sensitive individuals. Visiting a Prophet of Voss, the crew of the Chrome Cock learned clues that point to the dealer being a member of the Jedi Council, cloistered away in the Temple on Coruscant. In an attempt to gain access to the temple, the Wreckers now seek to deliver unto them a child so powerful in the force that he would be irresistible to an order so desperately seeking to get their hands on the next generation. We need an irresistible child.

SPEAKER_03 1:44

They want nothing more than more children.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

So, uh, you were able to, thanks to the help of Set Hearth, a uh Dark Jedi treasure hunter, thief. You don't I don't know what his deal was. Uh anyway, the pilot of the gay hummingbird, you were able to collect a device and he tuned in to a potential creature strong in the force.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

Creature?

unknown 2:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

Well, what do you describe Yoda as? I don't know, a fucking monster.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

A little guy. He's just a little guy. Do you want to inspect the device at all? Are you where where are you guys? Are you back at your ship? Are you uh have you returned to the witch's brew?

SPEAKER_03 2:28

We probably would have gone back to the witch's brew, gone back to a safe zone.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

Uh gone back to our mommy's loving embrace.

SPEAKER_00 2:37

Yeah, it's uh Lady's night at the witch's brew, so all your favorites are there. The guy with the tow boots, uh big green, the Mary Allen fella.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

Uh so this device, um, do you care how it works, or do you just know that it works?

SPEAKER_06 2:53

I'll leave that up to you guys. I I I only care that it works. I trust that it works.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

I'll leave it.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

I the Yeah, I the player am curious about how it works. Vanry, the character, is probably um indifferent.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

I have no computer skills, but I want to look. Yeah, let's take a look.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Uh either computers or a mechanics, uh, probably a three purple.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

They're both awful, it's okay. Computers, mechanics, you have to do the same. Three purple?

SPEAKER_00 3:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

Two failure.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Yeah, you have no idea how it works, but uh there is a small readout, and you can see that basically what it's doing is uh it's kind of scraping data from the hollinet about this uh creature that apparently uh has been being called Yoda. The descriptions that you're getting from the scraped data say that it's um a baby, but it's been a baby for like a couple of decades. This baby's older than me or Meyer. Damn.

SPEAKER_06 3:55

It's a late bloom uh it's one of those late bloomers.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

Someone must like love this thing a lot to like take care of it as baby form for like a long time.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

Well, that's the thing. Um from what you can glean, uh the device mentions this creature initially being found by smugglers in a crate of supplies that were raided from a bulk freighter. The smugglers then had their ship impounded by a corrupt outer rim police force. The police forces uh lockup was then raided by a regional gang. That gang was then wiped out by a rival gang, so on and so forth. Uh so for two decades, this um baby Yoda has just been kind of getting passed from like underworld denizen to underworld denizen, none of them seemingly being able to put together the trail that this apparently cursed child has been leaving.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Yeah, that's Harry Potter.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Come on.

SPEAKER_03 4:57

Wait, so is this just like is this the typical life cycle of this species? They just cause and shit.

SPEAKER_06 5:05

Is it fully grown already? Is it fully grown, do you think?

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Because I haven't seen anything like this before.

SPEAKER_03 5:16

Oh no, he's not.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

I mean there's there's no pictures of it, so you don't even know really what it looks like. It's just like data that's being scraped from like various Hollonet sources that seem to somehow this device is able to uh pull together.

SPEAKER_06 5:31

I hope I hope somehow we cause his speech impediment where he reverse speaks. Somehow.

SPEAKER_03 5:40

You can just start talking like that right now, and hopefully he'll learn, he'll use you as his model for how to talk.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Well, you guys are already talking like that. It's just that uh it's translated for modern audiences. It's like uh a knight's tale. You don't actually sound like that. That's just uh how you're being depicted. But when Queen plays, Queen is actually playing.

SPEAKER_03 5:57

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:58

Maybe he's not actually a baby and he's just like living the adult baby fetish lifestyle 100% of the time.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

Oh, he's gonna be picking this guy up, and we're gonna be playing into his fetish, and he's gonna be like, ooh, goo-goo, ga, guy, like while we're around, but then as soon as we're out of sight, he's gonna be jacking.

SPEAKER_06 6:15

He's Fred Armison. He's Fred Armison from Broad City. I'm just a little baby. I have no money. I'm just a little baby.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Ugh.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

Ugh.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Ugh. I mean, as long as this fools the Jedi's, then that'll be their problem after.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

Yeah, they have to indulge its fetish. Anyway, so where is this baby at?

SPEAKER_00 6:35

Uh, according to the device, the last data that was scraped regarding this thing, uh, was that it is has been sort of recently added to the collection of a wealthy Nemoidean named Zirk Shub on Kato Nemoidia.

SPEAKER_03 6:54

Added to the collection? Like, does he collect living beings or well, what what's Zirk Shub's deal, would we know?

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Like Zirk Schubb, you can kinda look him up. He's in uh with the Trade Federation, if you Google him. And he is kind of known for having a fairly not like infamous in the way where it's like it's all underhanded shit, even though, you know, it probably is, but he does have a sort of well-known uh gallery of rarities and antiquities on Kato Nemoidia.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

And do those rarities and antiquities include other living beings?

SPEAKER_00 7:29

Like, is it a zoo? Uh, part zoo, part art gallery, part museum.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

Okay, like how hard is it to go and visit this guy's uh gallery, museum, slash?

SPEAKER_00 7:39

Uh, if you go to the website, you can see it's by invitation only.

SPEAKER_03 7:43

Uh.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

However, wait, no mass having a gala coming up to uh show off one of his uh new prized additions to his collection.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

Is it a masquerade ball? Is it a fancy dress thing? Can we do a dress-up episode? It's been so long.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

Masquerade! I dress up every day. I mean, you you can see like photos uh from his past galas that he had, uh where people do dress up in ostentatious outfits sometimes. Like you see one photo where where it's like a guy, he he doesn't seem to be very fancially dressed, in fact, he seems kind of slovenly because he appears to be carrying like a bag of chips in. But on closer inspection, it's actually a luxury designer bag disguised to look like a bag of chips.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_05 8:29

We're playing three-dimensional chess here.

SPEAKER_03 8:31

Yes. Oh my god. Let's get dressed up. Let's get dressed up. Mommy! Big mommy, where do we find a fancy dress store?

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Uh, the Miri Allen fella says, uh, she's unavailable at the moment. She's uh busy. Is she giving uppies to somebody else before she gives them to us? Uh no. Uh Mother Mel Moral does not give uppies if you're talking about what I think you're talking about. Is she going to the ball without telling us? Um, well, I don't know if she goes to the ball. Uh I haven't even seen her handle the shaft, to be honest. Crazy.

SPEAKER_05 9:12

Zing.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

Has she ever gently cradled you in her big mommy arms?

SPEAKER_05 9:18

We're just choosing all the the grossest parts of the dialogue tree.

SPEAKER_06 9:26

Okay, is that when will she be available next for uppies?

SPEAKER_00 9:31

I d I don't know. I don't think she provides those. I can give you uppies if you want.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

Oh. Oh really? Han, is he big enough to give me uppies?

SPEAKER_00 9:42

Yeah, I was about to say. Yeah, I mean, like, he's taller than you and broader than you, but not like unreasonably so.

SPEAKER_03 9:49

So not as big and broad as Malmoral.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

No. I'll accept Uppies. Yeah, like you're like Arnold Schwarzenegger, big. Uh he's a bunch of the giant big. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:02

The immovable force means.

unknown 10:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:05

That's not mobile force means the immovable object.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

I'll accept uppies. It'll help me think, and then we can think about where we should go. Just find out.

SPEAKER_06 10:12

Just carry me while I'm just carry me while I go deep in my thoughts.

SPEAKER_05 10:17

Cradled while you're like rubbing your chin and thinking, hmm.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

Uh and that's just uppies?

SPEAKER_03 10:26

Where's the catch? Yeah?

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Okay, that'll be um 50 credits.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

What?

SPEAKER_00 10:31

50 credits.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Yeah, fine. Even though we're like friends of mommy.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

He saw you coming. I was gonna say we're not friends.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

Hey.

SPEAKER_05 10:43

This is p purely a business cuddle.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

Fine. 50 credits.

SPEAKER_05 10:46

It's purely a strategic cuddle.

SPEAKER_03 10:48

I'll pay my 50 credits for my uppies and then I can think while I'm being cradled.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Look, it's just that the time I'm spending uh giving you uppies is time that uh I'm not available for other people to tip, so. It's a good point.

SPEAKER_03 11:01

Okay, look, you'll be able to get plenty of tips later. Just give me my cradling.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

He uh picks you up in his large arms.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

Okay, now let's think where do we get clothes.

SPEAKER_06 11:12

Um, clothes uh uh clothes store? Like what kind of clothes are we uh uh fancy masquerade. Uh I'm sure we could find like a cost like a costume store or something, get something for cheap. And are we sure it's a masquerade?

SPEAKER_03 11:27

Well, it's like a fancy dress thing if it's a galaxy. Yeah, we could probably wear masquerade masks and it'll be like, no, it's part of our whole deal. Do we know what the theme of the gala is? Does it have a theme?

SPEAKER_05 11:40

I don't want to go as the Babaduke if it's a adults drinking wine kind of vibe.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

The uh the theme is digital pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Oh hell yeah. Oh, Brombius, you dress as a giant finger.

SPEAKER_05 11:54

We'll bring all the sex asses. Because it's digits.

SPEAKER_06 12:02

Since since I have multi- since I have like disguise of skin, could I like have like an if it's what what'd you say was digital? Digital pleasure.

SPEAKER_05 12:15

Digital pleasure. This is your chance to do your uh Oh.

SPEAKER_03 12:19

Well, you can make yourself look like uh like your nude, except all your your privates are just like um A bit. Yeah. They're blurred.

SPEAKER_00 12:30

Your metal skin flaps are constantly like undulating, so you can't get a good look.

SPEAKER_06 12:36

Oh d so uh it it's like um I I I'm just a uh regular naked guy, but like my my bits are like censored. They're like the digitized stuff. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Realizing that I looted a cyber disguise that I could have installed into my body. Can we see other people's examples of invasive and expensive full body implants?

SPEAKER_06 13:04

Are we able to see other people's examples of digital pleasure? I'm assuming Daft Punk will be there. Daft Punk is 100% gonna be there.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

I could just use my performance's attire, because I feel like my.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

We do? Well, okay. I guess I guess we technically could. I mean, I already have tattoos, though.

SPEAKER_05 13:42

Party don't start till I walk in.

SPEAKER_03 13:44

Do white ink and black ink clash?

SPEAKER_06 13:47

After Labor Day?

unknown 13:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 13:50

Is is there examples of other people's digital pleasures that we can like take examples from?

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Um well, since the theme changes every year and people like to keep their outfits uh secret, their art, but uh it seems why don't you roll me a computers maybe or because you're a spy, you might be able to glean some like hack into like some uh fashion blogs and stuff and you don't want to wear last year's outfit, Devon.

SPEAKER_06 14:21

Uh yeah, no, I don't I don't want to do that at all. So computers or uh is there something else? I'm just trying to think here. Streetwise?

SPEAKER_03 14:29

I feel like if it's hacking, like unless it's like you want to go to the fashion district and see if, you know, there's anyone else around who might be getting prep for the same gala.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

It's okay, so it's stretching the definition. Um are you considering because you're gonna have you don't have an invitation. No. Um, so would you consider yourselves to be in competition with the other people who were going? I would say no.

SPEAKER_05 14:59

Uh I would I would like to wow people and and be the best at the ball.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 15:05

I want to be unseen. Or I I want to be uninteresting.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

Well, because I feel like if we're going to something like this and we don't have an invitation, like our best bet might be to be as ostentatious as as possible. So it's like we belong here. Yeah, like I'm not even gonna check your invitation. Why would you be dressed like that kind of asshole if you weren't here specifically for the gala?

SPEAKER_00 15:26

Look up Cyber Vampire. So so are you uh in competition with these other people?

SPEAKER_03 15:32

Yeah. I'm gonna say yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

Okay, then um since it is a competition and their competitions have winners, I will allow you to use your analyzed data with knowledge warfare.

SPEAKER_07 15:46

Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

Knowledge warfare. So, uh, if you want to uh uh you can do a computer's role to hack into to try and find information, and then you can use your analyzed data to do knowledge warfare to analyze that data to see how you can use it against your competitors.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

Okay. Fashion is war.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

May I also do a uh Yeah, only one of you really needs to Google. Okay. Okay. Leave it leave it Wait, who has the better uh knowledge uh warfare? I have three green. Well, you would need to do the knowledge warfare. But the computers, uh anyone could do the computers. Okay, once per session.

SPEAKER_06 16:27

I'm just reading what uh analyzed data is. Uh once per session capture enemy data. Uh character may perform analyzed data to make an average knowledge check, knowledge warfare check once during the remainder of the session, then add a success equal to the ranks of knowledge warfare. I don't have any ranks in knowledge warfare. Uh I should probably do that with my remaining 10 XP.

SPEAKER_03 16:50

But Rombius, you're gonna roll the computers to get in, and Al could do the analyze data once you have access. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

So to uh peruse the gossip sites to find relevant information about the upcoming gala. Uh that would be two purple and a black computers. For success, two threat. Alright, so uh with those threat, you're getting some kind of conflicting information. It seems like there may be some people who are disseminating um lies. Uh why do we have Al do his uh analyze data to make sense of this? Um so that'll be a two-purple, those threat, that'll add a black onto that. So that'll be two purple and a black knowledge warfare. Three success, but a threat. Ooh. So uh you will be able to uh gain some success on that, but still there is a little bit of conflicting information. Um so you are able to find out that the sort of digital pleasures seems to be referring to uh like broadly um things to do with the HoloNet and with technology and with uh computers. Some people there are rumors that um some of some of the guests will be dressing up as uh famous holo game characters. There are rumors that some people will be like going all out and like wearing just like full-on, like like droid cosplay. There are rumors that um some people will be wearing like holographic costumes. It's seems to be just kind of generally computer uh aesthetics. However, there are some people who think no no, digital pleasures means like you gotta have like digits, like finger costumes.

SPEAKER_03 18:39

What did I say? Big finger.

SPEAKER_05 18:43

So wait, it might be suitable for somebody to go as um, let's say, the star of a controversial true crime holo net series. Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

You can be it.

SPEAKER_05 19:01

That's right. A digital cryptid.

SPEAKER_03 19:04

Wait, Rhombius. Are you the subject of certain true crime podcasts?

SPEAKER_05 19:09

No, you are.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

That's not a true crime, that's a hollow drama. I thought you were talking about like, oh, the the terror of terrorists and how he was never caught.

SPEAKER_05 19:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

You're like Jack the Ripper.

SPEAKER_05 19:22

The Shadow Vampire. Maybe, maybe that's true, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Yeah, there is some uh myths that have arisen, some true crime podcasts about uh the Ripper of Terrace and his uh how he would leave uh women drained in alleys of all of their fluids desiccated into aged corpses.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

My god, Rombius, we're both stars. Alright on.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Aww.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

I was like, oh, it's time for me to just do the 2001 Met Gala Grimes costume, but where do I get the sword? And then I'm like, oh wait.

SPEAKER_05 19:57

I do have the sword. That's the easiest part.

SPEAKER_03 20:01

Okay, I'm just saying that like we bring in the digital, like the computer thing, and we bring in the hand, and we go back to the original idea I had for Al. Except now you're nude with a sensor bar, except the only thing that's visible through the sensor bar is like a hand where your dick should be. And it's like the figure the fingers are wiggling.

SPEAKER_06 20:21

Can I just have a um excess like a like a Hunger Games costume where it just sort of like keeps changing colors and shit.

SPEAKER_02 20:31

Ooh. Do that with your skin.

SPEAKER_06 20:33

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 20:34

I guess you could. You could make yourself look like holographic and you just like it.

SPEAKER_06 20:38

You could be your own palette swap. Yeah, I I like and it just kinda and it just kinda like keeps changing like rainbow like uh every once in a while.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Also, you have to let everyone know it feels really good and just moan the whole time. Oh these digits. Oh yes, give them to me.

SPEAKER_03 20:57

Daddy! Okay, what if I went as myself? Because I remember last time there was like, oh, like the big Shagavera style mural of my face, because I'm like a freedom fighter and stuff, as we all know.

SPEAKER_06 21:11

As we all know.

SPEAKER_03 21:13

Like, you know, painting myself to look like I'm in that style, but like with like digital pixels and artifacting and stuff. Like I'm it's an image that's loading on really bad hollow net. Listen, you don't have to like the idea, but you can at least pretend.

SPEAKER_05 21:32

We don't have to pretend anything. Very vintage.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

I don't know, I'm not a stylist, okay?

SPEAKER_06 21:38

I mean, whatever whatever you feel is proper for digital pleasure.

SPEAKER_03 21:43

I'm a student of the physical arts, not the visual.

SPEAKER_06 21:47

What does it mean to be uh So you're breaking convention by going as the jock?

SPEAKER_03 21:55

Yeah, this is actually revolutionary for me. And what would it be to to decide Like what the quality of our costume ended up being, how well we were able to realize our own deal.

SPEAKER_06 22:06

Are you making it yourselves? I mean, I like I assume I could just like put in a program where it just like it's a nice suit, it's a nice suit that just changed uh you know, what is this Star Trek?

SPEAKER_05 22:17

We'll work with the local uh fashion designer gurus. Thought you were gonna say work with the local fashion designer.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

Hey Big Green, I don't know what your name is. Um, where would we go for fashion on Narshada?

SPEAKER_00 22:32

For fashion. Um I couldn't help but overhear what you were talking about because I was holding you in my arms and um you may have noticed that the uh that we have a particular theme here at the Witch's Brew. Uh I could put you in touch with where we get our outfits.

SPEAKER_03 22:48

Oh yeah, you're all cosplay people. Oh yeah. Yeah, where do you get your outfits from?

SPEAKER_00 22:54

Let me just uh give you my card here. Can I put you down? Don't bring me down, Roosh.

SPEAKER_03 22:59

You're not strong enough to just hold me in one arm while you get the your card with the other.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

Well, it's a it's in a very awkward place. Where? Do I have are you are you done? Can I I I have other stuff to do?

SPEAKER_03 23:10

Fine, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

And he puts you down and he says, I was just kidding, I don't have a card. Uh, but I can give you the address. I just didn't want to hold you anymore. You're quite um slimy. Did you want to hold me?

SPEAKER_03 23:25

How dare you! I'm not slimy. If anything, I've been out of water for a really long time, so I'm very, very dry in an uncomfortable m in an uncomfortable way.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Anyways. But yeah, let me uh, and he writes down on a napkin, just head over to this address and uh they'll hook you up. Okay, where's the address? Uh the address uh is in a place called the Lower Promenade.

SPEAKER_06 23:54

Lower Promenade.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

The name is misleading, it's actually uh on like a floating platform in the city skyline.

SPEAKER_02 24:02

But is it lower than the higher promenade?

SPEAKER_00 24:04

Yeah, it's the bottom part of the promenade.

SPEAKER_03 24:06

Okay, shall we go there? Shall we go to the lower promenade?

SPEAKER_06 24:09

Um, I mean, if there's no mid-promenade, then let's go to the lower one.

SPEAKER_03 24:14

The lesser promenade.

SPEAKER_06 24:16

The lesser promenade.

SPEAKER_03 24:18

That was so synchronized.

SPEAKER_05 24:22

We've been rehearsing it.

SPEAKER_06 24:25

We fucking pulled it off. Good job, guys. You did it. We fucking did it.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

Whoever rolls the lowest has to wear the boring menswear suit. What are we rolling on? I don't know. Best costume.

SPEAKER_05 24:41

The winner for best costume is Menswear. Three purples.

SPEAKER_06 24:46

Hey, I I've I'm basically wearing a boring suit that becomes less boring because it's like uh an optical illusion kind of.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

The loser for best outfit, uh boring menswear with an empty bag of potato chips.

SPEAKER_05 24:59

I'm just googling here. Jared Leto Met Gala. Perfect, yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

Yeah, do the double head.

SPEAKER_05 25:09

Yeah. Oh, that you know what? That is that is definitely the Butcher of Terrace. The red suit with all the jewels carrying his own head.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

I don't think you ever returned the stolen valet car from uh Nasros Casino.

unknown 25:22

Probably not.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Uh and uh Nasros Casino being that it uh does cater to discrete customers, does not have any tracking devices, so you shouldn't have to worry about anyone coming after you. Uh, but you guys do still have a bounty on your head, and the promenade is a fairly popular commercial district. So you may have to try and keep a low profile if anyone notices you.

SPEAKER_06 25:44

Yeah, that's why that's why I kinda want to be like middle of the pact, more than anything, just blend in enough so that nobody really pays attention to me.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

So uh you're gonna have to probably play it cool or hide. So either um sort of cool to sort of just downplay yourselves and just pretend like you belong, or stealth, uh against the perception of any bounty hunters who might be out there. Uh so that would probably be against two reds and a purple. Cool or stealth. Both cool.

SPEAKER_02 26:18

Cool as well.

SPEAKER_06 26:21

Stealth is where I would be going anyway.

SPEAKER_01 26:23

Two failure, three advantage. I'll take a strain to upgrade. Hmm, one advantage.

SPEAKER_05 26:30

Well, it appears that uh hiding is easy. I'm going for gasps uh with my costume. I got three failures, two advantages, and one despair.

SPEAKER_06 26:42

Oh boy. Oh, you're gonna get something with it. Um, well, I I got a success and a triumph.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 26:49

Wow. So uh fuck you guys. I'll see you later. I'm just gonna hide in the background. I'm just gonna hide in the background while we do a hoop.

SPEAKER_03 26:57

Clearly, I'll have the right idea of trying to blend in while we're all like, we gotta stand out.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

Well, you're you're you're not even going to the galley. You're just going to get your costumes. So you're you're just as yourselves at this point.

SPEAKER_03 27:10

Oh yeah, this is just trying to uh get there without being noticed.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

Yeah, go to the mall.

SPEAKER_03 27:15

We've we failed at go to the mall. Well, you succeeded at go to the mall. Uh well, I think you'll find that I did not succeed at go to the mall.

SPEAKER_00 27:24

Well, okay, so um you most of you guys did get failure with advantage. So, uh, if you want that failure to maybe be you do see some heavily armed bounty hunters prowling around the promenade. Um, maybe Al is the only one you send in.

SPEAKER_03 27:45

Okay. Al who can remain unnoticed, who is like a shadow.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

In the night. However, Rhombius, you did get that despair. I sure did.

SPEAKER_03 27:54

They come knock on the window of the speeder while we're hiding, waiting for Al. Hey, are you getting are you done yet, Al? Al, you done yet? Hey, this is not this isn't a parking zone. Al, you done?

SPEAKER_00 28:07

Al, since you're the only one going beyond success and triumph, you'll be able to pull this off. Go in, get the costumes, put in the order, whatever is needed. You can remember what Meyer wanted. You can remember what Vandry wanted. Oh no. But you can't remember what Rhombius wanted.

SPEAKER_06 28:29

Uh if I if I remember uh correctly. You don't.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

You remember incorrectly.

SPEAKER_06 28:36

I'm pull I'm trying to pull in that information. Something is telling me um um what's the name? Oh, like uh a space grimace? Yeah, let's go for a space grimace.

SPEAKER_03 28:49

There's something that says give me hat.

SPEAKER_06 28:55

He he he has a uh uh a sign, like a a sandwich sign that says spy right here. Or I hate Rodians.

SPEAKER_05 29:08

Instead of looking like the mascot grimace, I'm just dripping with Grimace Shake coming up.

SPEAKER_02 29:14

He needs to wear something extremely racist against Amodians.

SPEAKER_06 29:19

Oh no. Not only did I forget what uh Rhombius wanted to wear, I also forgot his size. I want to get it make sure that it's at least two or three times the size of him.

SPEAKER_03 29:31

You know, it's like when you're buying clothes for a kid. You just buy bigger to be safe.

SPEAKER_06 29:36

Just to be he'll grow into it. He'll grow into it.

SPEAKER_03 29:40

Rhombius can just eat a few people on the way over and get nice and plumped up. He'll fill out.

SPEAKER_06 29:46

Yeah. Just put some pillows, uh just put some pillows to tighten it up a little bit. You'll be fine.

SPEAKER_05 29:52

I always assumed that like eating force powder made me younger and not just cultivated bass, but maybe it does both.

SPEAKER_06 30:00

So, yeah, a big per so a big purple suit, but like it's space grimace, so he also has like the Cyclops visor from like the second Xbox movie. Um vampire vampire space pope. He's got he's got like a like a like a vest that's um all like beeps and bloops and stuff, and uh he's got Heelys.

SPEAKER_03 30:23

So he can just glide.

SPEAKER_06 30:25

So he can just glide. That's what he wanted.

SPEAKER_03 30:29

Yeah. It's what Rhombius would have wanted. It's what Rhombius would have wanted.

SPEAKER_06 30:34

And instead of calling Rhombius to make sure that this is what he wanted, listen, I know that's my I know him so well. I am going to I am going to put my credit card down and I'm gonna pay for it, and I'm not even gonna ask for that receipt. Okay, so you're not gonna roll negotiation? Um yeah, I guess I could roll negotiation to see if I can go. How much is it uh right now?

SPEAKER_00 31:00

Uh well, to get these costumes in the amount of time that you would need them to get to the gala. Uh it's gonna be pretty expensive. It is a pretty high uh luxury gala, so 25,000 currently. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

Yeah, remember how you dodged your duties as being daddy last time? Now it's a time, Al.

SPEAKER_06 31:18

I only have 21,000, so uh can we lower that to 15?

SPEAKER_00 31:24

So if you want to uh negotiate with this uh merchant, um if you want to use that success from your knowledge warfare to talk about these costumes, uh you can add that to your role. You've got a triumph staying out of sight, so you're pretty clear-headed, so you can use that triumph to upgrade your role. Okay. Uh so this will be a negotiation against two reds and a purple. Jesus.

SPEAKER_06 31:50

How many destiny points do we have?

SPEAKER_00 31:52

Uh you have one at the moment.

SPEAKER_06 31:55

I gotta use it to downgrade. I'm gonna use it to downgrade. Failure and a threat. Nope.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

Whoop! It's more expensive now.

SPEAKER_06 32:02

Can I borrow a $4,000 from some Oh yeah, and and uh six so failure and a threat, so that would be uh just a threat. Fuck. Um Hey, can I borrow $4,000 from somebody and then I I cease to be daddy for the rest of the whole time?

SPEAKER_00 32:19

With that threat, because uh you are trying to like haggle with him, he is like a hout designer. Um he's bumping that up to 26,000. Can I borrow 5,000 credits, please?

SPEAKER_03 32:30

Ugh, yeah, whatever. I'll send you five grand and then I'll be daddy for the rest of the day.

SPEAKER_06 32:36

Thank you. Well, we're gonna need money again soon.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

Well, this is how we're going to get money.

SPEAKER_06 32:43

We gotta get this baby and then sell it. Of course. It's not human trafficking if it's not a human.

SPEAKER_03 32:50

Yeah, babies aren't humans, anyways.

SPEAKER_06 32:52

Babies aren't humans.

SPEAKER_03 32:53

Like, not any baby, not even human babies are human. Wait, are you saying that trafficking only counts if it's a human owl? Exactly. Okay, um you don't deserve to be daddy.

SPEAKER_06 33:05

I mean, that's why I'm broke. I can't provide for my crew. So I can't be daddy if I can't provide for my crew.

SPEAKER_03 33:12

Daddy, this is saddie. You're making me saddy, daddy.

SPEAKER_06 33:17

I mean, yeah, that's fair.

SPEAKER_03 33:19

Anyways, we're able to pay for it if I send Al five grand.

SPEAKER_06 33:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 33:27

I'm gonna take that receipt, actually.

SPEAKER_00 33:31

So, uh, Al, you can return to the speeder with all of their costumes. Uh, Rombius, you will notice that yours is not what you asked for and is in fact like you look like a big purple. Well, why do you roll me a just give me a three purple knowledge zonology to see if you know what this costume resembles?

SPEAKER_05 33:53

Well will success help me work it.

SPEAKER_03 33:58

I mean, it might it it might impede you from working it if you know exactly what you look like.

SPEAKER_05 34:04

To success, one advantage.

SPEAKER_03 34:05

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

Uh so you can look at this costume like a kind of shapeless purple pulsating lump. And Romy is you know, that this costume will read with the uh accessories and the outfit itself. This costume will read as sexy Nemoidean grub. Hey, there we go. You are wearing a sexy baby costume.

SPEAKER_05 34:33

This is this is um is that appropriate for the type of event?

SPEAKER_02 34:38

Like man's got a baby in his collection, so.

SPEAKER_05 34:42

It's about cyber uh uh things. Can I can I soup this up in some way to make it a little bit more um adult?

SPEAKER_02 34:53

You've gotta consume some guys.

SPEAKER_05 34:56

You know, there there really is a diminishing return with the sexy baby thing.

SPEAKER_03 35:04

Listen, there's just so there's only so much you can do with it. You just gotta work it as best you can, Rhombius.

SPEAKER_05 35:11

Perhaps a charm performance.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

Listen, Rhombius, if anyone could pull off a sexy baby look, um, I'm sure they would.

SPEAKER_05 35:28

I'm gonna go I'm not gonna Google it, never mind. Nope.

SPEAKER_03 35:32

Don't get yourself on a list. It's fine.

SPEAKER_06 35:36

We're fine. Okay, are we already Let's watch them work it. Alright, let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 35:42

Okay, so with your costumes in tow, you can head to Cato Nemoidia. You didn't take your ship anywhere last time, so you're still at 72 out of 100 fuel cells. Uh the trip to Cato Nemoidia from Narshida. Well, it's not that far from space. Galactically speaking. So the a full trip there is probably gonna cost about five fuel cells. 72.

SPEAKER_03 36:11

So it'll take us down to uh 67?

SPEAKER_00 36:14

Yeah, unless you want to uh astrogate for a better path. I can do that.

SPEAKER_03 36:18

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:19

Uh so that'll be a three purple astrogation to try and reduce that.

SPEAKER_05 36:22

I should buy some ranks in that skill at some point. Well, two failures, two advantages.

SPEAKER_03 36:27

Well, not a worse path at least.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

Yeah. You can't uh shave any time off of it, but with those two advantages, you can find a path that's gonna keep you uh a little bit under the radar if there are any more bounty hunters that are trying to find you.

SPEAKER_03 36:42

Well, that's something at least. It is is there one, how much does it cost for a single fuel cell? And two, is there anywhere where we could refuel?

SPEAKER_00 36:51

Um well you can refuel on Narshida. Uh the cheapest place to refuel would probably be uh Darknell, which you can't go to anymore, but Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:59

How much would it be to refuel on Nar Shada?

SPEAKER_00 37:02

Uh I think it was 5600 credits.

SPEAKER_03 37:05

Would that be to like fully refill?

SPEAKER_00 37:07

Yeah. That not for for what you have now, not from zero.

SPEAKER_03 37:11

Not from zero, okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:12

You know what? I I'll do uh I'll pay to refuel because again, last time Al neglected his. What? Can't we do that before we go? Try to be proactive. We've already asgregated. Never mind.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

Yeah, you you you're still okay for fuel.

SPEAKER_03 37:35

I know, it's just that it's gonna be like hot potato, we keep neglecting and neglecting, and then whoever's daddy when we're finally down to zero.

SPEAKER_06 37:42

I'm already all pretty much down to zero, so it wouldn't be me.

SPEAKER_03 37:46

Yeah, you're a fucking terrible daddy.

SPEAKER_06 37:49

Well, I'm sorry that I'm the one.

SPEAKER_03 37:52

This is why any illegitimate children you might have haven't made contact with you, Al.

SPEAKER_06 37:57

No, it's because I make sure that they are nowhere near me at any point in time.

SPEAKER_03 38:02

I don't want them to make contact with me. Uncle Al! Just pull us a tear.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

I mean, I guess you could just like raid Kessel and give it back to the pikes. Nah. But until then, um, you can go to Cato Nemoidea. So the gallery and the gala are in the bridge city of Tarkosei. Uh so Kato Nemoidia is a planet with these tall rock spire mountains that kind of lift most of the habitable areas above this sort of like dense poisonous cloud that lays low to the surface of the planet. So most of the cities are built on these bridges that are spanning uh between these tall mountain peaks. Some of them are built right way up, but Tarkosei is uh a little more ostentatious than some Catonamoine cities, and Tarkosei is built upside down, so as you approach, you can see this kind of like almost like a rainbow shape, this curve of a bridge spanning between these two mountains, and then jutting down from it are all the skyscrapers of the city.

SPEAKER_03 39:17

Hmm. Like, how do you get between buildings? Do you like walk on the bridge and then it's like little like trap?

SPEAKER_00 39:24

Well the bridge- the bridge, like all this all the buildings are kind of like stalactites on the bottom of the bridge.

SPEAKER_03 39:30

So do you do like trapdoors into the bri the the buildings?

SPEAKER_00 39:34

No, they have elevators down? You can take elevators down. There is like walkways and stuff, but it is a city that is not designed to be traversed by people who do not have access to air travel.

SPEAKER_03 39:48

Well, this is why Nemoideans have terrible cardio, I assume. Is that so is that mildly racist? Yes. Am I gonna take it back? No.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

It's just not who you are. Look, Nemoide do Nemoidians have one brawn? Yes. Is that racist? Probably. Is that the way the game works? Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 40:10

We're not saying that they're a bunch of nerds who get winded after they run for ten feet, but we are saying we are saying there's a reason they're all named after Republicans.

SPEAKER_00 40:22

Uh, but as you approach Tarko Say, it does hail you and ask for your ship's credentials and identification. So you can uh rent a landing pad, or I guess perhaps the proper turn terminology given this is in Nemoidean City would be to lease a landing pad.

SPEAKER_03 40:39

Should we give our actual designation or the fake one? Because like either way, there are problems.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

What was the fake one again? Uh the fake one was the gay hummingbird. Uh that one had a lot of parking tickets on Narshida. Cool III. That's true. Yeah, it did it did seem that its problems were local. It's a serial parker.

SPEAKER_03 41:00

Yeah. So let's maybe be the gay hummingbird again because like the chrome cock is known by bounty hunters. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:07

So you can uh submit your credentials uh to the Tarko Say Landing Authority, uh, but the automated systems bounce back and say that your ship is already registered on a landing pad. Oh, awkward.

SPEAKER_03 41:22

Did we what's that hummingbird doing here?

SPEAKER_06 41:24

Did we say the gay hummingbird? We meant uh the gay uh hummerbird.

SPEAKER_03 41:33

The gay swallow. I don't know, do we just want to be the chrome cock if uh if it won't let us be the gay hummingbird?

SPEAKER_05 41:41

I I g I guess so, yeah. We are the unsuspicious um swallow. Or not unswallow.

SPEAKER_06 41:49

It's a brother's drives with an S. The unsuspicious swallow is uh is a funny one to me. The perplexing scrub wren.

SPEAKER_03 41:58

Or the uh inscrutable the mild-mannered magpie. Ah, the mild magpie!

SPEAKER_05 42:06

The great shrike tyrant. That's our that's our metal ship.

SPEAKER_00 42:13

The satanic goat sucker, perhaps?

SPEAKER_01 42:15

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:17

W would we even be able to make another name?

SPEAKER_00 42:20

Um, I mean you're already there, so you would have to kind of slice into their systems, maybe, and see. Cause the thing is, you're you're trying to slice the reason you were able to get the gay hummingbird was because it was like a ship that was on Narsheda, but Nar Shada is so fucked up that they don't care.

SPEAKER_07 42:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

This Nemoidian stuff, they care about making sure that the right people are being charged and that they're getting their money. So I think any of the ships you would be able to borrow the credentials of would be ones that are already there.

SPEAKER_06 42:49

Let's just go as the uh chromecock then, and you know, pre worst case scenario, we'll steal the actual gay hummingbird and hope that it's better than our chromecock.

SPEAKER_03 42:59

Nothing's better than our chrome cock.

SPEAKER_06 43:02

That's the spirit.

SPEAKER_03 43:03

Okay, let's go down with the cro with the cock.

SPEAKER_00 43:05

Uh, how long would you like to lease a landing pad for?

SPEAKER_03 43:09

Ugh, god, what are 40 hours? Because how long until the uh the gala?

SPEAKER_00 43:14

Uh it's that evening.

SPEAKER_03 43:16

Yeah, so maybe 24 hours. That should give us time to um steal a baby and if anything goes awry, get it sorted out.

SPEAKER_06 43:23

Is this the episode where we go broke? Because I'm I'm imagining what's happen gonna happen next year.

SPEAKER_03 43:29

Unless we want to do like 48 hours. How much would it be for 24 hours?

SPEAKER_00 43:33

Uh well, for 24 hours to lease a landing pad. It depends how close you want to get to the gala. Okay. So if you want it for 24 hours, uh close to the gala, that's gonna be 5,000 credits.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 43:47

Uh if you want to have something that's more towards the outskirts of the city, you could probably get it for as low as 500.

SPEAKER_07 43:54

Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 43:55

However, um so you would need to call for a taxi or something. If such a thing exists.

SPEAKER_03 44:02

Well, what would it be for uh somewhere in the middle?

SPEAKER_00 44:05

Uh somewhere in the middle would probably be about like 2500.

SPEAKER_03 44:09

What do you guys think? I could do that. Because like in the middle we'd probably still have to call a taxi. And if we got close, then that might be better if we have to make a hasty getaway with the stolen baby. Do we is Juicy still around? Yeah. Does she know how to fly the ship if we need a hasty getaway?

SPEAKER_00 44:26

Uh what she does or doesn't know, um, maybe locked inside whatever uh wiped her brain.

SPEAKER_03 44:33

Can someone show her how to fly the ship if we need a hasty escape? I can do so. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:38

If you want to roll a leadership on her. I'm not gonna roll on her.

SPEAKER_03 44:45

Oh my god. You know, be uh act like you're teaching her how to play pool.

SPEAKER_06 44:53

Alright, what am I rolling? Uh this will probably be uh two purple and a black. Two purple and a black. Wow man, my leadership is not great. Uh let's see. You got this. Two purple and a black. How many destiny points do we got? None, right? Yeah, you used uh the one you had. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

I got three advantages. So you can like kind of start to show her, and it does seem like she already knows a little bit. Okay. Like, she, as you're teaching her, she remembers how to fly a ship.

SPEAKER_06 45:26

Oh, cool. And she's able to do it better than me uh eventually, I'm assuming. I mean you can stop uh helping her remember if you want her to. This is what I want. I w I want to I want to get into her character, not like you know, who can handle a joystick.

SPEAKER_00 45:50

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:51

Yeah, is this just like your thing no matter what? It's just someone who can fly a ship.

SPEAKER_06 45:56

Honestly, that really has been like my uh you can fly a ship, oh boy.

SPEAKER_03 46:01

Is that why you is that why you snubbed Cypher 8 because they didn't fly the ship enough?

SPEAKER_06 46:06

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:11

I'm also adept at handling a joystick. It's like, okay, Juicy. So like just pay attention to the radio, and if you hear us yell, polish the cock, that means that you need us to come in and pick us up fast.

SPEAKER_07 46:22

Polish the cock!

SPEAKER_03 46:24

Polish the cock!

SPEAKER_00 46:26

As we're yelling. Yeah, she seems to understand.

SPEAKER_03 46:29

Okay. And everyone, do not say polish the cock unless you want Juicy to come and pick us up.

SPEAKER_02 46:35

It's the hot new dance move, though.

SPEAKER_00 46:39

So how closely are you reading the terms of the lease?

SPEAKER_03 46:42

Oh god. Rombie is here, Smart. Please read the terms. I don't want to give you getting billed forever.

SPEAKER_00 46:48

Uh so that'll probably be a uh perception to read the terms of the lease.

SPEAKER_05 46:53

Uh-oh. Am I really the most perceived perceptive here?

SPEAKER_00 46:58

Or knowledge education, either one. There we go. Uh, the Nemoidean lease. Uh so I'm gonna give you a destiny point through a red on there. That'll be a red and two purples. Five success, two thread. Okay, so uh you can read and understand the entire lease. It does seem fairly straightforward. Um it mentions uh some specific things, uh such as you are not allowed to store missiles or rocket-propelled items within the vehicle or on the landing pad. They don't want any explosives. Uh, I don't think your ship has any weapons, so I think you're in the clear there. Mm-hmm. So, as also part of the lease, uh you explicitly give the landing pad's owners a lien on all personal property, including vehicles kept on the premises, and they are allowed to unilaterally sell it if uh your rent for the lease is over thirty days late. Oh, over thirty days, okay. Uh they are allowed to change any terms of the lease by sending uh a missive to your ship with the new terms, but they take effect immediately after they are sent, uh not if you've read it. It's a good thing we have somebody on the ship.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

Yeah, juicy's there. If anything weird happens, just like pick up the ship and circle.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

Uh any person over the age of 14 is considered an adult and therefore will be subject to immediate on-site fines, even if uh they do not ride in the ship itself.

SPEAKER_06 48:24

So baby So Baby Yoda is flat out like elderly at this point.

SPEAKER_03 48:30

Well, what are they fining anyone for? No barbecues. Okay, we can handle that.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

The events or the uh machinery.

SPEAKER_03 48:38

Can handle both of those, I think.

SPEAKER_00 48:40

And during the duration of the lease, uh if the Nemoidean owner of the landing pad wants to, they can um use your ship for like if their family needs it or something. That's not you don't need to worry about that.

SPEAKER_06 48:52

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, go back.

SPEAKER_02 48:55

Uh my son needs to use the basement, so you gotta move out.

SPEAKER_03 48:59

Yeah. My son needs to use all the basements of all the landing pads that I own. My one son.

SPEAKER_06 49:08

Hello, I am the son. I need your basements.

SPEAKER_03 49:12

Uh I am a renter, and this makes me sad.

SPEAKER_00 49:16

Also, if um the Nemoidians do uh assess that there has been damage to the landing pad, you will not get your deposit back.

SPEAKER_03 49:26

Deposit? What's the deposit?

SPEAKER_00 49:28

Of the 2500 that you paid, uh a thousand of that was the deposit.

SPEAKER_03 49:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 49:33

So that includes things like uh scuffs, scuff marks on the surface from landing gear, uh carbon scoring from thrusters, just anything that would make it untidy. Anything essentially that would require them to clean it in any way after you left.

SPEAKER_03 49:47

Okay. Do they also charge a cleaning fee?

SPEAKER_00 49:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:50

Okay. That's part of the 20%.

SPEAKER_00 49:52

And that's the uh the rest of the deposit. That's the rest of your fee. If they need to clean it, so I see.

SPEAKER_03 49:57

So what I'm hearing is that there's no way I'm getting that deposit back.

SPEAKER_06 50:00

No.

SPEAKER_03 50:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 50:02

Hey, I kept the receipt for the clothing.

SPEAKER_00 50:04

I might get my money back. Well, we'll see if you can haggle your used costumes back.

SPEAKER_03 50:11

I don't want this anymore.

SPEAKER_06 50:13

Depending on how much damage we've caused to them.

SPEAKER_03 50:16

Yeah, did everyone leave the tags on?

SPEAKER_06 50:19

Make sure you just like hide them under a flap or something.

SPEAKER_03 50:23

No one take the tags off your sexy baby costume.

SPEAKER_05 50:26

Someone's borrowing the sexy baby costume next week for a different event.

SPEAKER_06 50:30

Ugh. But I'm keeping the glasses.

SPEAKER_00 50:32

So dear. You can disembark from your ship. Uh, hopefully, JC will be able to deal with any uh Nemoidean landlord issues that come up while you're leasing this landing pad. And uh, if you want to hire a valet to take you to the gala. Now, of course, this is a uh Nemoidean valet, so it will cost uh 2,500 credits to get you there. Yay!

SPEAKER_03 50:56

Another 2500 just for the fucking valet? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 51:01

I can be daddy.

SPEAKER_06 51:02

Do we want to share responsibilities of a daddy today?

SPEAKER_03 51:05

2500?

SPEAKER_06 51:07

You need a co-daddy?

SPEAKER_03 51:08

Okay, Meyer and I are daddy for today, then.

SPEAKER_00 51:11

It's 2500. Um, if you want like a drink or a snack or anything, that's extra. Um like in the valet? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:18

The spirit airline of valet.

SPEAKER_03 51:21

No one touched the mini bar in the valet. It's literally like a 10-minute drive, we'll be fine.

SPEAKER_06 51:28

I I start putting away my handfuls of uh uh I I pocket one though.

SPEAKER_03 51:36

Fucking terrible daddy.

SPEAKER_06 51:38

Do you do you want do you want to roll perception to see if you uh you can catch me uh steal a uh catch me, catch me.

SPEAKER_03 51:48

You gotta catch me hee hee hee hee.

SPEAKER_00 51:51

Rare rabbit motherfucker.

SPEAKER_03 51:55

What a be to notice Al pocketing uh a mini bottle.

SPEAKER_00 51:59

No Al, what's your skullduggery?

SPEAKER_03 52:01

Al being naughty.

SPEAKER_06 52:03

Uh my skullduggery is let me just double check here. Two yellow, two green, and two takeaway black.

SPEAKER_02 52:11

I can roll it. Wait, after all perception? Okay.

SPEAKER_05 52:16

If you want to catch Al, uh being a stinker.

SPEAKER_06 52:22

If you're cool, I'll uh pocket one for you as well.

SPEAKER_02 52:26

Uh, if you uh incur any extra charges, you're paying.

SPEAKER_05 52:30

Can I also try and catch uh Al being a little ragamuffin? Two red two purple.

SPEAKER_03 52:36

Two red, two purple, right?

SPEAKER_05 52:37

Two success.

SPEAKER_03 52:38

One success, three threat.

SPEAKER_02 52:41

One failure, one advantage. Can we all slap him in the head?

SPEAKER_00 52:44

No! Yeah, Van uh Rhombius, you can catch him. Vanry, you catch him a little bit too late. Meyer, uh, you see you don't you don't see it, but maybe Al he pockets something for you.

SPEAKER_06 52:55

I'll I'll I'll put smack his hand. I'll I'll put it back.

SPEAKER_00 53:00

I mean, you already took it, so the 50 credits are already uh out of the account.

SPEAKER_03 53:03

Son of a bitch fucking ass.

unknown 53:05

Oh dear.

SPEAKER_05 53:06

Dumb bitch. Thank Daddy. First you get me the sexy baby costume, now this.

SPEAKER_03 53:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:11

You should be dressed up as the baby. What is it that you stole? Like a chocolate bar, like a drink? Oh, it'd definitely be a drink. So a loose martini. Uh so there is a little bit of turbulence, so roll me a coordination uh to avoid spilling this loose martini all over your nice costume.

SPEAKER_06 53:30

Can I can I um uh upgrade that coordination in any way since I am a seasoned alcoholic? Um Are you a seasoned alcoholic?

SPEAKER_00 53:39

Not really.

SPEAKER_06 53:39

I mean functional alcoholic. I'm functional, okay.

SPEAKER_00 53:43

So uh you guys are still a little bit low on destiny points in case you do spill this. Uh so we'll call this a red coordination. It's not gonna be that hard, but.

SPEAKER_06 53:52

One red coordination? Okay. Uh oh, I hope I get a despair. Let's see. You get a despair? One success, one advantage, and a despair.

unknown 54:03

You don't bitch!

SPEAKER_00 54:07

So uh you can successfully drink this martini. Everything goes uh right as rain, and you think maybe, well, that was easy. Why not a second? And you go for the second, and that one you hit like a weird air current and it bumps, and the martini spills all over you, shorting out your cyber disguise.

SPEAKER_07 54:31

No! This is what happens.

SPEAKER_05 54:35

Do you like your martinis shaken, not stirred? No, worn.

SPEAKER_06 54:39

Can I can I uh is there any way that I can like repair this in any way? Um if somebody wants to do a mechanics on you. I will mechanics his city.

SPEAKER_05 54:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:49

I'll pay for the martinis. I can at least do that.

SPEAKER_05 54:52

Baby will save the day.

SPEAKER_00 54:53

Alright, so um, you're probably uh not very dexterous in your big Grimace costume. Uh so that is gonna add a black. Uh, you don't have any tools, that's gonna add another black. Uh so that's gonna be three purple and two black mechanics.

SPEAKER_03 55:08

I'm gonna love if the thing that's like makes Rombius unable to do this is specifically the black from that baby costume that you got for him.

SPEAKER_00 55:17

One success, three advantage.

SPEAKER_03 55:19

Hey! Okay.

SPEAKER_00 55:20

Alright, so you can uh it seems that sopping up the martini uh with the felt hand of the Grimace costume is enough to wick away enough moisture to make it work again. It's equivalent to dipping me in rice. Yeah. And now, you know, if anybody uh wants to get drunk, now you have like a hand that smells like Nemoidean liquor. Uh it's very strong, and like when you put it up to like the hole in the mouth that you're kind of breathing out of Rhombius, like it's it's so potent that if you were to say clasp your hand around somebody's face. It works like a chloroform.

SPEAKER_06 55:57

Incredible. Perfect.

SPEAKER_03 55:58

Someone foam-gloved all of us.

SPEAKER_00 56:04

I call it chlorofoam. So, uh, you can all arrive at the gala stepping out of the valet car in your various costumes. Um, in order to pull this off, this will have to be either a charm or a deception to look like you belong.

SPEAKER_03 56:24

My charm is well, I got three green to charm.

SPEAKER_00 56:28

What's that gonna be for charm? So you're gonna have to be charming probably like somebody who works there, probably somebody like a hairied employee who is tired of dealing with uptight celebrities and has no patience for any shenanigans. Okay. If you're charming them, if you're trying to charm them, uh, that'll be against their cool, which starts at one purple, but they have two ranks of uh nobody's fools for coercion or deception, so you might be able to charm them.

SPEAKER_03 57:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 57:04

Uh so that it'll be one purple for charm. Deception is gonna be against three reds.

SPEAKER_03 57:11

Who!

SPEAKER_00 57:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 57:12

I'll do charm and I'll flip it. I'll I'll take a strain to upgrade. Got two success, one advantage to charm. I'm so charming.

SPEAKER_00 57:19

How do you how do you uh make your entrance your charming entrance?

SPEAKER_03 57:23

I I'm not trying to charm the other celebrities. We're specifically trying to charm like an employee. Yeah, this is like a working class person. I I wanna be like, I want to really lean into the fact that I've dressed myself up as myself, where it's like, yeah, this is a freedom fighter for the people, so it's like. I I wanna really appeal to like, oh yeah, this person is like us, but like way hotter.

SPEAKER_00 57:48

Who's next to approach?

SPEAKER_02 57:50

I'll roll charm as well, because I don't want to roll against three reds. Oh, one success. Working hard or hardly working.

SPEAKER_00 58:00

That's your entrance. Yeah, it's uh one success.

SPEAKER_02 58:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:08

It's charming in the way where it's like, ugh, these fucking celebrities. Okay, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 58:14

Just you know, give a forced laugh just to get you to leave them alone, just like uh.

SPEAKER_06 58:21

Yeah, uh, I'll I'll see if I can just sort of charm charm my way past. Uh, one purple charm, one failure, and three advantage. Not having a great day.

SPEAKER_03 58:33

You know, maybe if you had performed adequately as a daddy, you'd have more goodwill coming to you from the dice.

SPEAKER_06 58:39

I I I will re-roll my character right away.

SPEAKER_03 58:44

I will kill myself and bring someone completely new.

SPEAKER_05 58:48

Well, no success, but three advantage and one triumph.

SPEAKER_03 58:52

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 58:53

Okay. Um, so Al and Rhombius, Meyer and Vanry, you're able to get in. Um, but this hairied bureaucrat working for the Nemoidians um appears to be a heterosexual male, so perhaps that is what is uh making him more suspicious of you. And you can approach and he does say, uh, tickets.

SPEAKER_06 59:15

I say, Oh, oh man, I I don't know, uh my my oh, uh my tickets were with her, actually. And I point up at uh Meyer and uh uh yeah, point uh point up at Meyer, and I'm like, oh uh my t tickets were with her, but she's like way out there by now.

SPEAKER_00 59:34

And he looks back uh to your companions, and in the way of a British uh airport security officer being skeptical that John Krasinski is married to Emily Blunt, he says, her? And I'm like, did I pick the wrong did I p pick the wrong face for this?

SPEAKER_06 59:52

Yes, her.

SPEAKER_00 59:53

And uh he just kind of says, uh uh sure, uh go right ahead, man. I mean I don't believe it. What are you, funny?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:06

No, and then I go in tears. Things aren't looking up for Almon today.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:14

Well, maybe if it's like you're not hot, you're not funny. Maybe he'll assume that you have a you have a, you know, that I'm rich or ass. That's not rich either. I'm talking about your dick. Maybe he's gonna assume that you have a great dick.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:26

I'm I'm essentially naked. And uh, Rombius, you you uh you haven't charmed him, but you did get three advantages in a triumph. He sees you dressed as a giant sexy Nemoidean baby, and he says, Oh, you must be here for the after party. Uh, you'll need your security clearance, and he hands you a security card.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:47

Fuck yeah. Turns out it's his exact kink that I stumbled upon. Thanks, Al. You're welcome. See, I'm here for you, pal.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:57

You know how these Nemoidians are.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:59

Ugh, Nemoidians. Always harvesting adrenochrome from sexy babies.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:05

And uh you can he he he warns you uh that uh a Nemoidean named Gat Mates is there, and don't let him uh take you across state lines and he winks.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:16

The fuck? Does that mean what I think it means?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:21

What do you think it means?

SPEAKER_06 1:01:23

I assume that he's gonna uh sell Rhombius into something.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:28

Rhombius is gonna get kidnapped.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:31

Oh no. We have the baby. Repeat, we have the baby.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:36

We're gonna do like an Indiana Jones style swap with Baby Yoda and just put Baby Rombius.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:44

It's Baby Yoda.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:46

Yeah, just scrunch yourself up real small Rhombius.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:49

But you have successfully infiltrated the gallery's gala. You can see other uh famous you assume they're famous celebrities. Um, like you don't know any they're children to you. You don't see anybody from Welcome Back Cotter or the Andy Griffith Show or even the honeymooners.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:10

Does that help uh does that help us seem like we are in fact famous that we don't know who any of these people are, so it's like we're real loof and unb we're real aloof and unbothered by it?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:22

You're too cool for them.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:24

Yeah, we're too cool. Okay, can we can we assess this gala and see if we can figure out where the baby is hidden?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:31

Yes. Uh hidden? Probably you can look around the gala. Yeah, he's probably not hidden. Uh but if you want to look around the gala, that would be a perception. Are you trying to do it in a way where it's like because you did technically sneak in. If they there are, you can see like security officers that are kind of casing the place and keeping an eye out for things. So this would probably be a uh perception to try and look around and keep a low profile. Okay. So you don't know what the thing looks like. You know it's a baby, and you know it's like an alien creature, and that's kind of all you have to go on. Uh, there may be more alien creature babies here. You have no idea. If there's multiple babies, maybe Rombies' costume is appropriate for a reason. Uh but just looking around is gonna be two purple to try and find specifically the baby in the crowd without attracting suspicion. That's gonna be two purple and two blacks perception.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:23

Two success, three threat. Oh. I found the baby.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:27

Oh. One success, one advantage, one triumph.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:31

Ooh, I'll take a strain upgrade. One success?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:36

One triumph means a backup baby.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:39

Uh four advantages.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:42

Fuck me. Okay. So Meyer, Rhombius, Vanry, uh, you can all find the baby. Uh Rhombius, uh, you take some strain. You take three points of strain because as you approach, you get this like sick, twisted feeling in your stomach. Um, it's not an emotion you've ever felt before, but based on what you've heard described by other people, it might be guilt for the crimes that you've done. And the closer you get to this thing, the stronger that feeling becomes, and the more weighed down by your past actions you feel.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:28

Ugh, impolite.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:30

How dare. Um, but Rhombius, you can see it. Uh, Vanry, you keep a safe distance once you notice uh how Rhombius is feeling, but you can kind of look towards where he's heading and you can see it as well. Um Meyer, you see it as well, and you realize, no, you have seen something like this before. It is uh a creature that is the same species as the Dark Lord Minch on Terrace.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:57

Oh Minch!

SPEAKER_00 1:04:59

Whom uh you helped to quote unquote save life day.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:03

Hmm. Man, I remember the Minch now. He was a new one. Or the Minch Fox. Your baby's your dad the Minch.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:15

This makes a lot of sense. Uh Meyer, you got advantage and triumph. So along with the baby, uh, and recognizing where you know his kind from. Uh, you can also see the pilot of the gay hummingbird is there, Seth Harth.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:29

Oh shit, that's that dude. Wait, he's the one who told us about the baby, isn't he?

SPEAKER_05 1:05:33

It's a baby conspiracy.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:35

Does everybody want the baby?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:37

He he doesn't seem to be paying attention to the baby. He's glancing around at uh the primary object that is being displayed, the new addition to the gala. It seems like he's after that.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:51

As long as he's not going for our baby.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:52

No, but he does. He does create a distraction. He does clock you, Meyer, uh, and he does this kind of nod, like profoundly. Professionally.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:00

I do like a pee fine and stick on my tongue. I'd be like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:07

Don't forget to like and subscribe. So if you require assistance, he may he may be an asset.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:12

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:12

Maybe available to help. Um Al, you kinda get lost. You kind of get distracted a little bit. Um, and you start wandering away from where he has his sort of menagerie, his zoo of uh rare and unique alien creatures. Um and you start to wander into like this other area, this other wing of the museum, that is basically the instruments of destruction.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:41

Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:41

So it's a lot of like rare uh armors. You can see there is um a mummified alien corpse on display in some kind of odd crab-like battle armor. The uh plate in front of the display claims it to be an extra-galactic warrior. Um, there's a sort of Mandalorian Neo-Crusader armor, there's a fearsome uh demon mask that gives you bad vibes, there's some various like cultural weapons and like famous uh weapons and devices that were used in assassinations and by famous pirates and things. So if you want to uh have some sticky fingers, there might be some uh things here that you could rob from the gallery.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:28

Hmm. What do I really need? I mean, I already have a big fuck you uh shotgun here that I really like, but not about what you need, it's about what you want.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:38

What do you want? What do you want?

SPEAKER_06 1:07:41

What do you really, really want? What do I what do I really really want? Are there are there like some kind of um uh I'm I'm I'm I'm trying to like lean a little bit maybe into like uh glas the um the spy sort of thing. Are there like any kind of like spy glasses or something like that? Not like I mean not like, you know, not like a telescope. Yeah, maybe. Not like an all-in-one kind of glasses, uh glasses sort of thing, like whether they be telescope or or even just like some kind of like spy glasses whatsoever.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:13

Wait, so are you in this museum where it's like ancient artifacts and you're like, give me some inspector gadget shit. X-ray specs.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:20

I mean I mean, I mean, like, time is relative in the time of Star Wars.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:26

So if you're if you're looking for things that would have been used by like spies and assassins and things, you can see that on display there is a ring uh that contains a uh poison reservoir that was used to assassinate Supreme Chancellor Generis during the ancient past.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:46

Can you put anything in the ring, or is it just uh is it just this poison forever?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:50

Um well it's empty because it was used, but it could be refilled. I'll take this ring. I think that ring is rad. I think that ring sounds rad. There's other things like uh there's a set of Asian throwing daggers that are used by uh underworld assassins. There is a sword cane, which was used by Senator Benadril Thule of Alderan to assault a fellow senator that is now in the collection.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:13

Benadrill.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:14

There is uh a Lucky Blaster that was once owned by uh the smuggler Baron Corso Riggs called Torchy. Uh some other only meaningful to me, yeah, because I uh Shaman Staffs, uh Orataran Boomerangs, the Argorak of Gargarok, uh Chapanny dueling bucklers and light foils, Cuso war shields, the Spasian Ouroblades, things of that nature.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:41

Uh honestly, the two things that really popped up in my mind is the poison ring and um Torchi.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:49

Torchy! And Torchy I don't even need.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:52

I just feel like Torchi belongs with us, you know? I'm gonna try I'm gonna try for the ring, and if I'm super successful getting the ring, maybe I could try for Torchi as well, or do I can I only go for one thing?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:04

Um, well, this could be a dry run to see how easy it is to steal from the uh museum in general.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:11

Okay. Alright. I like uh I like that. Let's let's let's go for that ring here. Let's see uh what am I rolling up against?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:20

This would be against whoever is the head of security here. So this is going to be a skullduggery against this person and the security systems. So that is going to be against three reds and two purples skullduggery. No problem. Okay. How many destined points do we have? You have two, so you could use your signature ability here. Oh yeah. Okay. If you want to use it on this roll.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:52

Let's shit. Okay. I can roll and then use the signature ability afterwards, right? Like that's kind of its point, right? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:02

But you c but uh you can only use one destiny point per roll, so if you want to use a destiny point to help you roll.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:08

Um I'm not gonna uh I'm not gonna use destiny point. Um I'm still I'm still debating here. I'm just seeing if there's anything in my motivation, or not motivations, my uh abilities and stuff uh that can kinda like help me with this at all. Alright, I'm just gonna roll. So one success.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:31

Oh, okay.

unknown 1:11:32

Well.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:33

So you can surreptitiously uh slip this ring on your finger, stealthily stealing it, bypassing the security measures.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:44

Okay. And I I look back and forth and I see Tor and I see Torchi. How big is Torchi? Torchi is a blaster pistol. Does any does anybody uh is anybody really striving for Torchi? How cool, how cool does Torch does Torchi have like a little um face on it? Can Torchi talk? Can Torchi be a talking gun?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:04

I mean he may talk to you.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:08

That's it.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:08

But that's a medication issue more than anything else, I think.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:11

Okay. Um I'm gonna I'm gonna see if I can roll for if you look at Torchie.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:16

Um the display plaque. Part of the the write-up does claim that Torchi was once used to assassinate a Sith Emperor uh that lived in a smuggler's head, but I don't know how reliable that is. That lived in a smuggler's head.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:30

Did he like just shoot himself in the head with a torchy? Um okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna go for Torchy. Wish me luck. Got this.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:41

Yeah, just lift the entire museum while we're here.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:45

So that is two success and five threat. I can re-roll, or I can use unmashed trade craft to take away. That wouldn't take away enough. I'm gonna re-roll. Let me use my once once per to re-roll. Uh two advantages. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:07

Maybe you can change your mind and decide uh you can you decide better than to try to steal it.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:13

I I guess I guess if t I guess if I can t use unmasked tradecraft to take away one of those purple, it would then become two success and one advantage.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:22

Is it that worth it for a blaster?

SPEAKER_06 1:13:24

For a blaster. And let me let me get let me make this clear. A blaster named Torchy.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:31

Do we even know who Corso Rags was?

SPEAKER_06 1:13:34

Um I'm I'm I'm gonna take Torchy.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:37

Okay. So you'll use your unmatched trade craft to identify the specific, and that gives you an advantage now?

SPEAKER_06 1:13:44

Uh that gives me so I had an advantage. Taking away a purple, um, one specific purple now gives me two success and one advantage.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:53

Okay, so uh you got those two success with that one advantage. You you've lifted enough from this museum that you think you have an idea of how the security systems works. Uh, which means that unlocking the uh I guess cage that is keeping the little baby creature should be a little bit easier for you. You can get a blue onto that. Okay. So, Al, you can uh rejoin your companions. You may notice that Al has a new ring on his finger and like has I don't know if he has a blaster in his pocket or if he's as happy to see you guys, but can it be both? It it can be both. Uh Meyer has noticed that Set Hearth is there as well, casing the joint for his own uh uses. But you can uh meet up in front of the cage where this little hideous green latex rubber creature is.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:51

Oh, he's in a cage.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:54

Oh I thought he was roaming like a little party.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:59

He can't roam. Party animal. If anything, they have to put him in a little floating pram to hover about.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:06

No, he's in like a cage, like this big sort of uh transparisteel enclosure. There's a couple of toys in there that like he's rolling around. Yeah, they built him a little terrarium. Does he look like that? And he's like stacking he's stacking rocks. He does look kind of sad, he's just stacking rocks. Oh not with his hands. Ooh. Force baby.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:32

Well, I'm keeping my distance because I don't want to have to feel the weight of my crimes as Rhombius does.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:39

Should I go s up give him uppies?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:41

Is this like there's a million people around, right?

SPEAKER_05 1:15:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:44

How how interested in the baby are the other people? Uh is he like a st a centerpiece, or are they go to part of the gallery?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:53

He's just a little he's just another creature. They're more interested in the uh thing that the gala is there to celebrate the addition of to the gallery. Rhombius. Now it's time. Um we have a fake baby we can swap it with.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:06

Yeah, Rhombius.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:07

Yeah, Rhombius. Um let's uh do we have a bag of sand? I don't know if you have a bag of sand.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:17

We carry one around for just such occasions.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:21

Yeah, exactly. Let's see, let's see what happens when we um open up this lock and take this and uh take this baby. We we should probably uh block whoever's unlocking it here.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:33

Yeah, like unless do we wanna do we wanna maybe talk to uh fucking Seth Hearth and see if he would um make a distraction for us or something, see why he's there.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:42

Let's go meet up with our guy.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:44

Maybe our purposes will align. This guy who's definitely not Body Hopped Bane.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:50

It's not.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:51

It's not. I don't know that, but it uh.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:54

Why don't you kill him and find out?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:59

We go talk to him.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:01

You can uh go talk to him. His uh costume for this gala, he's still got his long white hair. Uh he's wearing this like black like leather coat with like no shirt but like belts underneath crossed across his chest. And he has it's hard to tell if it's like a prosthetic or what it is, but as part of his costume, he's just got like one black wing sticking out of his back.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:24

A one-winged angel, you say.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:30

But he's he's there, and you can approach him, and he says, I thought I would find you here.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:36

Uh, Brother Nero, I knew that.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:38

That's a coincidence, so did we. I mean, it's not a coincidence. I was the one who found that baby for you. And wouldn't you know what the uh gallery had something that I was after as well.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:47

Yeah, what are you after?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:48

That. And he points to the uh the main object on display.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:53

Oh. He is gonna create a distraction for us.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:56

What is the main object?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:57

That is an artifact uh that was allegedly created by a uh group called the Order of the Terrible Glare during the Pious Day Crusades.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:08

Is that real?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:09

Yeah, it's from a Star Wars comic written by Alan Moore in the 80s. Oh my god. Alan Moore?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:15

Alan Moore, of course.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:17

This is where we need more Alan.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:19

Our problematic unfaved. And it says the uh the Order of the Terrible Glare, they were a splinter group of Jedi thousands and thousands of years ago, an ancient cult that sought to bridge the divide between the living and the machine and find a way to bestow a connection to the force on that which was created by man. That artifact, the Spark Eternal, is allegedly what they came up with to do that. I've been looking for ways to uh extend my life, and if the Spark Eternal would allow me to bind myself to an eternal machine, then that would certainly suit my purposes. Cloning myself is uh getting a little old. And you can tell that, like, it hasn't been that long since you've seen him, but he already does look like a couple of years older than the last time. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:16

So are you the same? You just like age real fast, or are you a new clone?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:20

The more that I uh transfer myself to a clone body, the faster it ages and degrades. Also, I've been beginning to forget things. I, for example, don't exactly know what I was doing before I started my quest for immortality, but I know that I am on one, so I will continue it. That a boy. You you you live your dream, okay? You live your dream. I think I might have been a Jedi at one point, but I don't know for sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:51

Cool. It's like taking everything in me to be like, Vanry doesn't know about this, Vanry doesn't know about this, Vanry would not.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:58

What does Vanry not know about?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:01

Well, it's like he's probably already Bane, he just got like mind-jumped, and that's why he was looking for immortality, but he's been like fucking c mind-jumped too many times, now he doesn't even know what he is. But Vanry wouldn't know about that. Vanry would not know to make that sort of inference. Vanry's dumb as a sack of hammers.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:20

Which we will use to beat Baby Yoda to death.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:25

But like, do I feel like we could work together and like you create a distraction for us, and we can like steal the baby, and then after we're gone with the baby, you can be like, where'd the baby go? And then that's like your distraction to steal this thing. Oh my god, yeah. Or like opposite, but I feel like you're more competent to work on your own if we're gone first.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:50

Look, I've stolen a lot of things from a lot of places, and I did kind of lead you to this child, so I feel that I have something of an obligation to assist you in actually getting it out of here.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:02

Yeah, so like you you make everyone look over there, and then we'll get the baby, and then everyone looks over here where the baby was, and then you get your own thing, and then we're all gone. Right?

SPEAKER_00 1:21:10

I could create a distraction.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:12

Yeah. And you should. Why did you say it like that, though?

SPEAKER_00 1:21:16

Well, the thing is I've been keeping my eyes open, and I know that I'm not the only one here who's after the eternal spark.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:22

Okay, who else is?

SPEAKER_00 1:21:25

Them. And he points to a trio of uh costumed characters that are moving through the crowd and looking intently at uh the Eternal Spark. Do you want us to like take him out? Well, I mean, if they're exposed, I don't think they are what they appear to be. And you can see that one of them is a purple Trandocian, and you know, Trandocian faces aren't the most realistic at the best of times, but like its eyes aren't moving, its mouth isn't moving. Uh, another one is a Tognath. It's already got kind of a skull face with a breathing apparatus, but its movements are oddly robotic. And the third appears to be like a muscular, mustachioed human being, but his f like his body is just made of fucking rubber.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:18

So you said you were looking for like like the things like a shard?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:22

The eternal spark. And I don't think those creatures are creatures at all. I think we may have some unruly droids on our hands.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:32

I am carrying an EMP grenade. Gonna take out all the droids.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:37

Oh my god, would the EMP grenade affect the uh security measures? I mean it is electronic security. It's electronic security.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:44

You were rolling against uh their computers, so.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:48

Because, like, if Al sets that off, then like that takes off whatever these droids are doing. If they if they are droids indeed. And then, like, there's a lot of chaos. We lift the baby, you lift the other thing, everyone just dicks out of it here before they even get the power back on.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:04

Dicks out of here, eh?

SPEAKER_03 1:23:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:06

Dicks out of here for um.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:07

You already have your dick out, Al. Don't don't critique my phrasing.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:11

Point taken.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:13

What do you think? What does everyone think?

SPEAKER_06 1:23:16

I I like that would be that that would make a good distraction here. Like, if it um as long as like and especially if nobody is actually able to pay attention to us and like see us in any way, and like n one of us don't have to be the extr uh distracting one, that that seems that seems ideal. That way we could just go in and out like a ghost.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:39

Like, would you be able to put the grenade on like a timer, like under a table, and then when it goes off, we just like do our shit real fast?

SPEAKER_06 1:23:46

I mean, it's a Mark II EMP grenade. Uh I don't know if that's a timer. A timer thing. Can we rig it on a timer? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:56

Yeah, modifying an explosive would be a mechanics check. I will mechanics check it.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:00

Do you want do you want to mechanics this grenade, Mike? Rhombius?

SPEAKER_04 1:24:05

Yes. What's the worst that could happen?

SPEAKER_00 1:24:07

Right, so uh you don't have any tools, so that's gonna add a black. You're doing this in big, wet, purple grimace hands, so that's gonna add a black.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:14

Can you take off the gloves?

unknown 1:24:17

No.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:19

I mean, taking taking off your like taking off the head for a dramatic reveal of which celebrity you are is one thing, but taking off the gloves. Oh, that's fair. You know what? You're right. I agree. Um, so I'll give you a destiny point in case this thing blows up in your face literally. Uh so that'll be a red, a purple, and two blacks mechanics. Two success, one threat. Okay, so you can set it on a timer, uh, but not for very long.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:44

Um, like 30 seconds or because like if I hit if I hit How long do you think you would need?

SPEAKER_03 1:24:50

Because like it would just be like however long you need it to put it under a table and then walk over to the baby cabinet.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:57

Right. So, um I guess yeah, the answer would be however long it would take for me to like get from the ta get from the table to the baby cabinet.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:09

And you want to knock out the the baby cabinet as well? So you can set it for like 10 seconds. Oh Jesus Christ. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:15

Would that be enough for like the baby cabinet and the droids and the uh the main piece?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:20

Uh no, the you can either hit the baby cabinet or the droids or the main piece. Oh man, it's not a good one. Because this is like these things are like engaged, engaged range sort of radius. Unless you want to put it on find a generator that can hit the whole building.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:39

Well, because maybe if we did it just like specifically so it hit the droids, that would be enough of a distraction that like each of our groups could like go and disable our respective cases while people are like, oh my god, why are there droids here? We hate droids in the future. Kill those droids.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:56

Kill those. We hate droids in the future.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:59

Yeah, they hate droids in the future. You know they're like real droid racists now.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:03

We don't want your kind in here.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:05

But I'm Sam Sung. Oh, we only accept Apple here, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:09

My name is Sam Sung.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:12

I am Sam Sung. That's your next character.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:15

What do you guys think?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:16

Like we can while everybody else is distracted, we can like break the lock for Baby Ota in a different way.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:24

Yeah, Zal's still gonna get uh a blue onto the security systems of the baby cage from his previous uh skull degrees.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:33

Yeah. And that would hopefully cause enough of a distraction that uh both of our our our other fucking I forgot his name already.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:41

Set. Set, thank you. Sephiraha. Set Sephorah.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:47

Set Set Hearth. Yeah. Do the droids 10 second timer for the droids.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:53

Let's do the 10-second timer for the droids. Okay. Uh so give me a ranged light to I guess roll it across the floor to them. Ranged light, alright. Because if you want that's probably gonna be the fastest way to get at them without you guys being in range. Mm-hmm. Um, so they would they would start as being short range away, but this is a very busy gala, lots of people walking around in big, ostentatious costumes, a lot of uh opportunities for a grenade rolling across the floor to get kicked where it shouldn't be. Oh. So, uh, gonna give you a destiny point. So this will start as a red, and because of all the people that are there, that will have three blacks added onto it.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:41

Can't take away three blacks, unfortunately. Um or any blacks. Uh okay. One success, but one threat.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:52

So you can roll it over to them, and uh it does manage to avoid being unduly character. By one of the other Gala patrons. But then when it like rolls over and it's stopped by one of their boots, they look down and they pick it up and they turn it off. And then they start looking around for who rolled it.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:14

No! I have another one! I have, or how many do I have? One more? EMP grenade. Quantity one. Shit!

SPEAKER_03 1:28:25

Uh-oh. You shoot the You shoot the grenade in the red.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:28

Can I can I use my my newly obtained Lucky Blaster to like shoot shoot it?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:34

Uh yeah, that'll be the same difficulty. Uh a red and three black because you are firing into a crowd. I mean you want it a distraction.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:45

Uh can I can I uh aim for two uh two additional blues?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:49

Hell yeah, you can.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:51

Yeah. Fuck yeah, three success, one advantage.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:54

Uh so you can fire a shot at them, and the grenade blows up, sending waves of electricity, shooting out. They fall to the floor, wriggling and writhing because you got that advantage. Everybody forgets about the shot and they just see the explosion. Alright, let's get that baby get the fuck out. Somebody runs over, pulls the purple Trandoshin mask off, revealing a droid underneath, and they shout, droids, droids, you're here to steal the spark! Droids! Oh, the gallery the gallery goes into lockdown.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:30

Oh fuck. It's fine, we'll steal the b steal the baby, they're still focused over there.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:35

They are still focused over there. Uh the security systems are probably still focused over there, but they're also probably looking for any other infiltrators. So uh you're gonna be dealing with the head of security again. So this will be three reds and two purples. You'll be able to add your blue because you've dealt with the security system. Um however, you're also gonna have to add a black because now they're actively looking for infiltrators.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:02

I could take away that black for Skullduggery.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:04

Is this just Al?

SPEAKER_06 1:30:05

Yeah, I think it's just me. Unless you guys want to like um can they help in any way, like distracting or anything?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:11

Distractingly, can we stand in front of what he's doing?

SPEAKER_03 1:30:14

Yeah, can we uh gasp really loudly and be like, oh my god!

SPEAKER_00 1:30:19

Oh, make a lot of commotion distracting anybody who's looking from what Al's doing, so you can add a couple of two more blues onto there, probably.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:27

Two more blues, okay um and how many destiny points do we got? You have three. I'm gonna flip one to can I downgrade? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:35

Okay, I'm gonna downgrade one.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:36

Uh three advantages, shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:40

So you can't uh get through the security systems. It seems that when it went into lockdown, it went into lockdown. You can see like shutters rolling down, like thick dura steel shutters rolling down over all of the other exhibits. You can prevent the shutters from rolling down over the baby. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:02

Can we um it is it just like a is it a force field type of shield, or is it like a it's transparesteel, it's like thick, heavy glass. Can we can we cut through it somehow? Do we have a universal cutting tool? Uh I don't think we do anymore. Yeah, no, I gave mine away. Fuck. Um well, we know that Set has one, but can we um uh what about mechan what about mechanics? Can we well I uh uh can uh what about mechanics? Can we um What about that bag of hammers?

SPEAKER_00 1:31:37

Yeah. Like if you have any weapons at all, you could probably break the glass.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:44

Can I stick my sword in a little crevice and try and pry it open?

SPEAKER_00 1:31:50

Yeah, it is a uh Beskar sword, so it is quite strong. So this would be uh either coordination or athletics, depending on if you're trying to like pry it open or if you're trying to just smash it.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:04

I'll do coordination.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:05

Okay, uh, so this is gonna be, since there is still the security people that are watching, this is gonna be against their computers. It's gonna be against three red and two purple. Ooh. Unless you just want to give your sword to Vanry and you can fucking smash it. I guess you could also just like force-punch it from across the room, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:24

I could. That would be a lot of like flying glass, though, as opposed to just like prying open the door. Unless I can like specifically force-punch the lock to make it uh to break it, and then it just swings open on its hinges.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:37

Um, that would be calling your shot, so that would have some blacks onto it, but if you do want to try and just punch the lock. What would that be to just punch the lock? Uh it would start as uh one purple. Um, because you might miss and hit the baby. That w I'll give you a destiny point. Uh that'll become a red with two blacks onto it. Two blacks.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:58

I'll uh I'll fli I'll I'll take some strain to upgrade at my force.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:03

Sounds like this baby's been in foster care for a while. I feel like it won't be the first.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:08

You have uh three. Three. No, because I wouldn't be able to downgrade that red. Um can I aim? Yeah, you can aim. Okay, get a blue. And do I have anything else I can use to help me before I make this roll? I don't think. So it's fine, you know, as long as that red doesn't fuck me. It's fine. Oh yeah, we're fine. Uh seven success, one advantage, three light side and a dark side. I'll use that one dark side to extend the range, and I'll punch the hell out of that lock.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:43

So you you stand back from a safe distance, throw a fucking haymaker, and nothing happens.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:50

What?

SPEAKER_00 1:33:51

You can feel the good nature of this creature reducing any amount of dark side pips rolled on a force roll by one. Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:02

You b- I'm trying to free you, you stupid little bastard. You stupid baby!

SPEAKER_00 1:34:07

Piece of shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:07

Nobody likes to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:10

Did you use a destiny point?

SPEAKER_03 1:34:12

I I did not. Could I use a destiny point?

SPEAKER_00 1:34:16

Uh yeah. And take that as strain? Oh, you s fucking sack of shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:23

Causing this much trouble just to let you out of a cage? Are you joking? Yeah, I'll flip a destiny point and take a strain to use a light side. Fucking idiot. Fuck you, baby.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:38

Are you having a laugh?

SPEAKER_00 1:34:40

So showing why Vanry probably shouldn't be a mother with her motherly instinct in the center yourself uh and calmly smash the lock, focusing, meditating with the force. And uh the door swings open just enough for uh somebody to go inside and grab this creature.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:07

I will charm this baby. Come here, baby! Let's go, somewhere where you're won't be in a cage.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:15

I mean it's a baby, you can just pick it up.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:17

I'll grab him.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:18

It's a baby. But will it holler? If it hollers, let him go.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:22

If it comes back to you as yours. That's the way of the force.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:26

Hey, Meyer doesn't have evil dark side vibes, so it probably won't mind her.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:31

It does struggle and try to get out of your it does like wriggle trying to get out of your grasp.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:38

I'll uh uh I'll just go. No! I'll tickle him. Gucci Gucci goo! Look, we're fun to be around. Come here. Gucci fucking goo, motherfucker!

SPEAKER_06 1:35:53

We're super fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:54

Bro, I'm I've heard you're older than me. This is kind of creepy, but like, Gucci Goo.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:00

So this is gonna be a charm against that baby? Sure. Charm the baby. So, baby's like theoretically, he he would have like one in every stat and no skill ranks, but um, this is no ordinary baby. Um so, okay, interesting. So he got on his force roll six light sides. Uh so that is gonna be a charm against three red.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:25

Holy shit, six six lightside? He's a baby.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:30

Baby side? He's just a little guy. Still just a little guy. He's just such a fucking little guy.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:36

You know what? I think I have the ability to re-roll this. A natural charm, or I can re-roll this, uh, despair.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:43

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:44

One failure, one triumph.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:47

Hell, okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:48

Uh, so he's not charmed by you, uh, but you can like hand him off to somebody else. Uh to give me the baby. Rom Rhombius. The baby. Or you could there in his terrarium, there is like a little sleep sack if you just want to stuff him in it and throw him over your shoulder. So he's still squirming and wriggling, but uh, he's secure in a bag.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:16

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with this. Now that we've got an actual baby to put in a baby bjorn, we're just like put him in the sack.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:25

And where is you have this baby stuffed in a bag? Uh, you can look out into the gala and you can see that like the droid infiltrators have been kind of like a a space has been cleared around them uh while the security team is trying to dig into them and like check their programming and like see where they came from. And they pop open the chess compartment, and you can see glowing inside, not like the wires and hard drives and mechanics you would expect of a droid, but a like fist-sized lump of gleaming crystal.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:04

Ah, there's shards. Of course there's shards.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:08

And there is a thunderous rumble on the walls of the gallery.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:14

A rumble? Are there many more shards outside?

SPEAKER_00 1:38:18

Love more where that came from, buddy. Dust shakes loose from the ceiling. There's a couple of pounding thumps, and then these giant robotic hands, these fingers reach in and tear apart the roof like Kirk Johnson. And you can see this big horned robotic face staring down, shouting, Give Spark!

SPEAKER_03 1:38:43

Oh no, digital pleasure!

SPEAKER_02 1:38:46

We must obtain the uh Spark Cube.

SPEAKER_06 1:38:48

I I I feel like we are in the middle of a situation, uh, in the middle of somebody else's situation. Is this what it feels like? It feels weird not being the main care not being the main character for of a particular situation.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:03

Uh, can we get the fuck out of here while this is happening?

SPEAKER_06 1:39:07

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:08

I assume Set was able to get his spark. That's what they're after, too. I assume Set was able to get it. Look, we caused such a good distraction for him.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:17

Mm-hmm. Uh, so if you want to leave, you'll need a vehicle.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:21

Can we polish the cock?

SPEAKER_00 1:39:23

Uh, if you're shouting polish the cock, uh, JC gets on the comm and says, uh uh, okay, I'll be right there. How long? Well, how long did it take you to uh spill your drink and then repair the damage done by the drink? So it won't be right away. But soon enough. Soon.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:40

Can we start? Oh god. Like all the exits are locked, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:39:44

Yeah, it's in lockdown. The only uh way in or out of the building appears to be the hole torn in the roof by the giant droid. Damn it.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:52

Maybe we get up through that.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:54

Are there not guards that have like override keys or something that we can chlorophore?

SPEAKER_00 1:40:00

There's guards, but they're busy shooting at the robot.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:04

Oh, unless is if is there like a guard who's near a a door that is in lockdown?

SPEAKER_00 1:40:10

And Rhombius like was given a security card for the after party.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:14

Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:16

We can go to the after party. And no one will find us there.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:20

Yeah, is there like an employee door that Rhombius could uh get us out through or something? Now you're thinking.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:25

Yeah, there is an employee door. Uh if you swipe the card, it says uh lockdown, enter code.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:33

One. Two one code. Uh uh uh three four.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:39

Does that do it? Uh roll me a let's call it a give you a dusty point red and two purple computers to see if the code is one, two, three, four. Okay. I got four success. The code is one, two, three, four. Hell yeah. Yeah. They kept getting locked out, so they changed to something simple. Yeah, as fucking Shub kept getting. The owner demanded it. So you can uh force open the employee door with the code and run down a service hallway towards the back of the gallery, and you can see signs like kind of leading for employees to the various uh gallery areas. And one of them you can see that there are signs heading towards the VIP lounge. There's also signs heading towards uh employee parking.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:30

If we're if we're trying to meet Juicy, maybe employee parking. Because that would probably lead to the outside.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:36

There you go.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:37

I need to stop calling her Juicy. She's JC.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:41

I know that's why she's called JC, but you can run uh to the employee parking, and you can hear uh footsteps pounding down the hall behind you. Uh set is there. Under his arm, he's carrying almost like a football uh this thing. It's like this uh copper sphere that almost looks like, like on the inside of it is almost like um geod like this sort of array of kyber crystals, and it's got like these two kind of handles on the either side of it. It's probably the thing he was looking to steal, and he's running, he's like, wait, wait, if you're stealing a car, wait for me.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:16

Ugh, yeah, yeah, okay. Run faster, God. He catches up to you.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:21

And you are faced with the uh copious speeders parked in the employee parking lot. This is kind of an underground, at least is underground, an enclosed parkade. The employees who work here, um there are a variety of vehicles. It seems that some of them may be nicer than the others. So what kind of car are you looking to steal? Are you looking to steal a car from a poor person who probably doesn't have good security? Are you looking to steal a car from an employee who maybe has a nicer vehicle that if uh you guys do have to make a quick escape, are you just trying to wait for Chasey? Because the parking itself is also locked down.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:00

Um, we'd probably go for uh I assume the an employee car is gonna be tracked.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:07

So it's just like Well, I mean, this is Caternoidia. Every vehicle is probably uh tracked and leased.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:14

Because if it's like something that's like cheap enough that it's not gonna be super noticeable if and like the security to get into it and you know hotwire it might be a bit less.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:27

Yeah, because you just need it long enough that's for you ca for you to like rendezvous with JC, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:43:32

Yeah. Cause like if it's just like, you know, the fucking arm is down to block access to the parquade, we can just like fucking ram that shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:42

I mean the the whole building is locked down, so it's more than an arm.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:45

Okay, but like what sort of security are we talking about? I mean, we have set with us. Set has a universal cutting tool. That's right. Yeah. You can cut us out of here, right, if the door is totally locked up.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:57

You want me to go cut a car-shaped hole in a two-foot thick dura steel door? Is that a little bit more? I mean, it'll take a while, but I can do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:07

Well, okay, like unless there's something we can do to, like, you know, mechanics or computers that door out of the way, something that a smart person can do, not me. I am not that bitch.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:18

I'm a smart person.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:19

Yeah, you're a smart bitch. Yes. You're 100% that bitch.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:23

I'm the smart baby. I'm a baby genius.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:25

Oh my god, the baby genius.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:29

So if you want to uh use your mechanics to or mechanics or computers. Because it is in lockdown, it's probably overriding, so probably computers. Uh to select a speeder would either be perception or mechanics. To steal it would be skullduggery.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:46

I can roll perception. I like looking at the cars.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:50

Okay, so while uh Rhombius is dealing with this lockdown, we'll let him roll last to see how he does. Uh because whether or not you can actually steal and hijack a speeder uh won't have anything to do with whether you can actually get the door open. So this will be a perception. Um it is locked down. These are, you know, fairly standard speeders. Probably we'll say two purple and a black perception. Not super difficult, but you are a bit of a time crunch.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:18

Oh, two excess, one and wait, two success, two advantage. Nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:22

Uh so what kind of car are you looking for?

SPEAKER_02 1:45:24

One with at least four or five seats.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:29

One with enough room. Are you looking for one that's like a little higher end or something that's shabbier?

SPEAKER_02 1:45:35

Uh shabbier so people don't come after us.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:38

Yeah, I think. You can find this like rusted out, like it's it's not it it probably belongs to like somebody like one of the short order cooks who's working like the canteen or that is catering the event. Like somebody who uh has a lot of grease burns, but it's this speeder that with like some rust spots, the paint is kinda faded, but it does have enough room for all of you.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:05

Maybe they'll be able to get a nicer one after we steal this one. Yeah, maybe he's a little bit more.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:08

I mean it's not a minivan. Do you think somebody who works uh this job could afford a family?

SPEAKER_03 1:46:13

Oh. Well, maybe they're a young person and this is like the uh the piece of shit used car that they got from their parents.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:20

Yeah, it's the kind of car where it's like old minivan. It's the kind of car where it's like, uh, golly gee, I just graduated from high school, I'm gonna get a car now. It's it's an allowance car.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:33

Starter car, it's a finisher car. I'm a five-star man.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:38

And so to break into this thing is probably not gonna be too hard. Give me a two-purple skullduggery.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:44

One success, three advantage.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:47

And you can I just open the door. Yeah, just open the door.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:52

Oh, the locks don't even work.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:54

So, Rhombius, uh, to try and bypass the lockdown. This would be a three purple and two black computers because you are in a bit of a rush. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:04

I may take a destiny from the pool.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:06

That is. Three success, two threats. So the door opens slowly. And you can hear shouting from inside. Uh, they went that way, down there. So it seems like the security, not the robots, but the security of the gallery are coming after you. And they start blasting at you as the door slowly opens.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:29

Oop. Everyone's loaded into the speeder. Just put your heads down.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:34

Yeah, let's see if uh let's see if they can shoot you guys. Now, you guys are pretty tough.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:39

Hell yeah, we are.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:40

But you're carrying a baby in a sack.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:42

Oh my god. Can I can we put the baby behind my body?

SPEAKER_00 1:47:47

Yeah, they'll they'll shoot you, uh, Vanry. You're the biggest target, so we'll see how they do. Uh so they get two success and one threat, they do hit you. I'm so beefy though. Yeah, their their blast just kind of bounce off you and bounce off uh the car, adding a couple of more like dark carbon scoring marks to it. But you guys can pile in, Rhombius can run back as well, jump into the car set can jump into the car, and uh Meyer, since you were the one actually hot wiring it and getting in, are are you driving? Sure!

SPEAKER_02 1:48:19

Oh, planetary. Oh god, planetary. Ah, you'll be fine. Sure. We'll see how it goes.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:27

So you can uh pull the speeder out of the parking garage, and you can see glinting in the moonlight and reflecting the light of the city hanging above it. You can see approaching the not quite chrome cock. It's a dirty cock. Yuck. And Meyer, as you uh drive speeder towards the chrome cock, the speeder, it's it is a pretty shitty speeder, so you do have to like wrestle with the controls a little bit. And as you're wrestling with the controls, it becomes really, really hard to pilot it. The radio turns on and starts like cycling through channels through like various like podcasts and news stations. And it sounds like as it's cycling through the channels, it says meatbag. Cycling through different radio stations. Not today meatbag, but we're not rusty.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:27

Rusty always called us meatbags, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:49:29

And it's trying, it's trying to pull away from the chromecock.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:33

Wait, is this the speeder itself talking at us?

SPEAKER_00 1:49:36

Seems to be. Well, the radio is like cycling through channels one time. This rusted yellow speeder with black racing stripes.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:46

Oh no, the spark.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:48

Oh no. It may be a shard, the speeder.

SPEAKER_05 1:49:52

Wasn't Elle just talking about getting a fucking talking car? Uh talking gun. Talking gun, excuse me.

SPEAKER_06 1:49:59

It's just in L. I'm gonna get this this uh fucker to talk to me and I'm pointing at the gun uh hopefully soon.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:09

Can I try and get it under control?

SPEAKER_06 1:50:11

Can we try to get this gun under control?

SPEAKER_03 1:50:15

It's not the gun, the shard. Or the car.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:18

Who can reason with the shard while Meyer drives?

SPEAKER_00 1:50:20

The car. So yeah, this would be uh an opposed piloting planetary versus we'll say probably piloting versus piloting seems fair. Unless you want to do discipline.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:32

Against its discipline?

SPEAKER_00 1:50:34

Yeah. Cause like you're trying to wrest control away from it.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:38

But with the controls of the car.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:42

Let's say let's say piloting.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:44

Okay, so uh this is gonna be your piloting planetary uh against four reds.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:52

What's their willpower? Well, time to die.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:59

You have two destiny points.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:02

Uh uh.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:03

If someone tried to uh talk to it, would they be able to give Meyer any help?

SPEAKER_00 1:51:08

Um if you try to distract it by blathering on. Um yeah, we can call that a co-pilot.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:14

We can uh Can I use my narrow escape and jump out of the car? Like I can bring some.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:23

If this thing's a shard, then like Rhombius, like they're they're susceptible to the four, so like Rhombius could use his like uh his woo-woo on it, potentially. My woo-woo.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:34

Potentially, unless uh baby Yoda reduces the amount of dark sides you get.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:38

Ugh, god, this fucking baby, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:40

More more trouble than it's worth.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:42

I'll look at the baby just like, don't you fuck this up for us?

SPEAKER_00 1:51:46

The baby's in a sack.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:49

Whisper to the baby, don't you fuck this up for us?

SPEAKER_00 1:51:53

I mean, it is curse. Tragedy does befall uh whoever has it.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:57

Damn. I don't know, because I I can just babble or if Rombius wants to uh try to endear it to us.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:04

I could try and do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:05

So you're gonna try and uh do you wanna actually like try and charm it or do you just want to distract it enough so that uh Meyer can get control?

SPEAKER_04 1:52:13

Basically distracting it.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:15

Okay, so that we'll treat that as a co-pilot. Uh so this would probably be whatever social skill you think would be most helpful. Uh usually like distraction and like annoyance is a uh coercion check since that's like scathing tirade and stuff. So we'll call this a two purple. Okay. Four success.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:34

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:35

Four success. So with those four success, you can eliminate those reds.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:38

Ah, good. Oh.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:40

So now it's just four purple.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:42

At least you can't get a despair.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:44

You got this.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:46

I upgrade one of my green.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:49

Um. You have two destiny points available.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:51

I'll upgrade one of my greens. Two success to threat.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:56

Okay. So, uh, you can get it under control. However, as you're getting it under control, like, Jaycee is like this thing kind of tried to turn away. So JC's sort of been following and is now slowly overtaking the ship. You can get it under control and you can pilot it towards the chrome cock. Jayce does have the loading ramp for the hangar bay open. It would be a very tight fit. You could get in, but then you'd be stuck with this talking speeder on your ship that wants the thing that set stole. Or you could pull up alongside and try to jump out of the car onto your ship.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:37

Toss the baby. Like, I I just worry that uh if we jump, the speeder's gonna like jerk to the side and make us fall to our death. What do you guys think though? Can make it.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:49

Like drive it up?

SPEAKER_03 1:53:51

I I I vote for drive it into the speeder, but I don't know if other people would want to like try jumping. I'm not a jumper.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:53:59

I mean, I can jump, but not very well. Daddy Maka make it.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:04

I re-rolled my charm, but I haven't re-rolled my athletics, but or have I? No, I think I've only used natural charmer.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:10

I mean, Meyer, uh, if you have the right upgrades, you could just use your special ability to jump.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:18

But that would that would mean everybody else would have to uh manually do it. Unless you can bring people with you.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:25

Affect a number of allied characters equal to cunning. My cunning is three.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:30

Hey. Okay. There'd be a lot would the baby count as an allied character? Because if so, that would be five of us if we're including the baby in set.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:38

Yeah, yeah, the baby counts as a character. Yo, Yoda counts as a character. As an ally, though.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:44

Okay, but what if I tied the baby onto me and then you just affect me?

SPEAKER_00 1:54:49

Um, if somebody's holding the sack?

SPEAKER_03 1:54:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:53

You would have to do another role, I think, to hold on to the baby. I mean, I'm pretty good at athletics. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:58

Well, let's see if I can get us out of here first.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:00

You since you are in a moving speeder, um, that will add two blacks onto it.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:05

Okay. Anything shaking the blacks? No. Two success, one threat.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:10

Okay, so you can uh make a narrow escape from this, and you can choose three of your companions.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:19

Everybody but the baby. No.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:24

You have to roll for the baby.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:26

Yeah, but hold on. Unless you think that Vanry could make the jump on her own. Like whoever's confident that they can make the jump on their own. I probably could.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:36

I'll take the baby with the escape. And Vanry can roll on her own and set.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:42

Fine.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:43

Do you do you agree?

SPEAKER_03 1:55:44

Yeah, that's fine, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:46

That's fine. Give me the baby.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:48

Okay, so how do you how do you lead uh Rhombius and Al out of out of this moving speeder?

SPEAKER_02 1:55:54

Uh I pull up to the loading ramp and I say, Alright, I'll hold it steady. You guys jump.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:03

Can jump in now. Meyer, since you've let go of this thing, it has regained full control. Uh oh. So, Vanry.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:12

You're gonna be jumping against its piloting. God damn, okay. Uh, with with uh Meyer carrying the baby Yoda into the ship, you're no longer in range of its niceness field, so you can indulge yourself if need be. Excellent. Uh, but its piloting planetary is four red, so this will be an athletics against four red.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:33

Woo wee! What did we have for Destiny?

SPEAKER_00 1:56:35

None, because uh used it for the narrow escape.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:39

Back on a stick, okay. Well I'll take a strain to upgrade my athletics. Uh four red?

SPEAKER_00 1:56:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:49

Four red, okay. Let's see here. Got an add a blue for my physical training. Uh I don't think there's really anything else I can do. Uh can I aim to get an extra blue?

SPEAKER_00 1:57:04

It's not a combat rule.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:05

Damn. Uh, it'll probably be fine. Holy shit. Uh, six success. One threat, two dark side, and a light side. I could use those two dark side to um get rid of the threat and gain an advantage with my six success. Could I uh if I have an advantage and six success, could I also use that to help set?

SPEAKER_00 1:57:26

Um, set has uh the force leap maneuver. Well, fuck off. So he's fine. Fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:33

Could I do a cool three-point land when I hit the deck?

SPEAKER_00 1:57:36

Yeah, you can do a cool three-point landing. Baby Yoda can't see it because he's in a sack, but if he could, he'd be very impressed.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:44

How do I unpress this baby?

SPEAKER_00 1:57:47

And when Set leaps over carrying the spark eternal under his arm like a football, the loading ramp of the hangar begins to recede back into the ship, and JC blasts off away from the city of Tarkose and Kato Nemoidia. And uh, you can hear as you go to the cockpit some alarms blaring proximity sensors.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:09

Is it the giant robot?

SPEAKER_00 1:58:12

Well, there is a ship coming towards you.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:16

Can we just what ship? Can we just blast off with it?

SPEAKER_00 1:58:19

Uh it is emblazoned with markings of the mining guild from Kessel.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:25

These assholes. That's the sparks.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:27

Yeah, so it is probably the shard that are uh after you. If you want to plot a very quick hyperspace jump away from uh Kato Nemoidia, you could hopefully before they get into range. But this'll be a difficulty uh against their gunnery, so you'll have to do it before they can shoot you.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:46

Got the hyperspace, who's got the plotting? I can plot it.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:50

Yeah. And you have your Nava computer as well, your handheld Nava computer. That gives you the bonus. Uh the only trick is that it grants you two blue, but because it does connect to the Hollonet, um it if the Shard are monitoring the Hollonet, they'll know where you're going. Uh, should I we not use that then? Well let's see what difficulty is first, then I'll decide. Uh so it'll be against two red and two purple.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:15

Two red and two purple against uh five green. What do you guys think?

SPEAKER_06 1:59:19

Uh use the two blue? Um good question. I would say go for I I would say go for it. Two red and blue.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:26

That's just that mean with the blue then? Uh with two- you can add two blue, but they'll probably be able to follow wherever you're going. Uh, if you don't add the two blue, they'll have a harder time tracking you. Gang.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:41

Uh with or without the blue.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:46

I got five- I got five green. You got five green. Whatever, just go without the blue.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:52

Three success.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:53

Okay, good, good.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:54

Alright, so where are you going? Back to Nar Shada, back to Mommy? Or do we want to just go straight to the uh the Jedi?

SPEAKER_01 2:00:01

Do we need to go back to Mommy? We don't, I just like having a sense of stability.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:06

Let's go yeah, let's go to the Jedi. So Rombius can quickly plot a course to Coruscant, where you will be able to deliver potentially this baby Yoda to the Jedi, where I don't know what Seth Hearth is gonna do with this fucking thing that he stole, uh, but I guess you'll find out whether or not the shard come looking for it next time on Star Wars Empire Wreckers. This week's episode is brought to you by our top patrons, Alfred Bros 522, Eric Charles Perazzo, Holocron VFX, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Matthew Lynette, Suki Nintendo, That Blue Guy, The Tie Guy 123, and Vaginator.