S12E18 - Run the World (Girls)

Freedom is at hand! After running afoul of the Bounty Hunter's Guild and finding themselves in a Deck of high value targets, the Empire Wreckers are on the verge of returning to anonymity.

Discovering that their old droid Rusty is the Deck's Dealer, the crew of the Chrome Cock have tracked him to Kessel - now home to the mysterious Shard.

With a powerful ancient artifact in hand, the gang has made a tenuous alliance with the Shard, earning them safe passage through the tempestuous Akkadese Maelstrom....

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Wreckers, the Star Wars actual playbook. Who's ready for a full TPK this week?

SPEAKER_09 0:17

Vanry is ready for a TPK this week because as the main character of the universe, she can look at the rest of these bitches and know that, yeah, they kind of deserve it.

SPEAKER_11 0:27

Almond, okay, one second. I'm literally looking up uh that quote here. Okay, alright. Almon has all the time in the world for you.

SPEAKER_08 0:40

That's the quote.

SPEAKER_11 0:43

Is that the whole thing? I mean, that's that's pretty much it, yeah.

SPEAKER_12 0:47

Rumbius has spent uncounted years murdering people for their life essence, and he's starting to wonder, is that going to catch up to him in the end?

SPEAKER_06 1:00

And Amy is ready to die. I mean, Meyer. The character Meyer of the ready to die. I'm okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

And if you're ready for an ignoble death, why don't you come along with us to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in Star Wars? Freedom is at hand! After running afoul of the Bounty Hunters' Guild and finding themselves in a deck of high-value targets, the Empire Wreckers are on the verge of returning to anonymity. Discovering that their old droid Rusty is the deck's dealer, the crew of the Chrome Cock have trapped him to Kessel, now home to the mysterious Shard. With a powerful ancient artifact in hand, the gang has made a tenuous alliance with the Shard, earning them safe passage through the tempestuous Akadi's maelstrom. So you can uh arrive in your vessel, in the Chrome Cock in all of its splendor, with its uh fat underslung turret just outside Akadi's maelstrom, and as you do on your sensors, there is a ship waiting for you, a Jedi shuttle.

SPEAKER_08 2:08

Is this uh this is not the one, the robot that was waiting for us outside that temple, correct?

SPEAKER_02 2:14

No, uh the shard droid in its guise as a generic freighter is accompanying you uh to Kessel. It did provide you coordinates to get through the maelstrom, but it is acting as your escort. And as its sensors register the Jedi Shuttle, you get a little message on your readouts that say friend or foe.

SPEAKER_08 2:37

I mean, is there any reason to think that they're here for us? They might just be here. Like, maybe we just need a fly casual. Have they like radioed us or anything?

SPEAKER_11 2:48

So we check the friend box and we put a little emoji with the two fingers going against each other.

SPEAKER_06 2:54

We got rid of all of our like bugs, right?

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Yeah, you smashed all the uh the bugs that uh Velsing had on.

SPEAKER_08 3:00

I guess I might. I guess Kerman was like gonna check out things with Maz. Oh god, I hope that they aren't like there together to like fucking wreck our shit. I hope Maz isn't gonna be weird about this.

SPEAKER_09 3:12

We had to tell him.

SPEAKER_11 3:18

Are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_08 3:19

I mean, to be fair, it probably would be within her right to be weird about it.

SPEAKER_11 3:23

I mean, that's us saying that. That's not you're that's not Vanry saying that.

SPEAKER_08 3:27

No, that's Vanry saying that. Because, like, remember when you guys were like, oh, Maz kept betraying us, and I was like, Maz literally never betrayed us, we just keep doing this shit to her, and you're just like, yeah, but whatever.

SPEAKER_04 3:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 3:40

Yeah. But listen, I was Maz's cock swang, and some loyalties run too deep, but you know, also I hope she's not gonna be weird about it.

SPEAKER_09 3:51

Has this vessel actually hailed us?

SPEAKER_08 3:53

It has hailed you. Who is it? Or do we have to answer it?

SPEAKER_02 3:58

Yeah, so on your screen, uh, if you answer it, the image fizzes to life of the wizard Uda Pound, Jedi Grandmaster Kerbin. Uh, and in the bottom of frame, you can see a little orange head just kind of poking up, not tall enough to fully uh break the bottom of the image.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

And Kirbin says, I uh had my doubts that you would actually meet us here, but Kanada said that you would be true to your word if it suited you.

SPEAKER_06 4:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 4:32

She's not wrong. And here we are. I totally forgot that we were actually gonna meet him. Were we? Was that the plan? So much has happened. Yeah, we're here.

SPEAKER_11 4:41

This has been a busy day. You're just dealing with zombies.

SPEAKER_06 4:45

The last thing I have written down from last time is Transformer roasted us.

SPEAKER_12 4:49

There are so many skeletons.

SPEAKER_02 4:51

And Maz, she kind of like pulls herself up on the console. So you can tell that she's like holding herself like with her like on her elbows. She's kind of pulling herself up. You can't see it, but her feet are like dangling and kicking on the console because she's too small. And she says, Yes, hello, hello. Uh yes, Kirbin came by, uh, my castle, my pirate castle, you know. Uh scared off a lot of my customers, thanks. Uh, but we've cleared everything up. Uh we passed along the information about the Mandalorians, and I don't think their planet's going to be very uh long for the galaxy, unfortunately. But uh, you know, we're gonna increase to clear things up. We should be able to get off with uh a light sentence. Uh we were just we were just the weapons that the Mandalorians used, I think, is how they're going to uh Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 5:40

But the Mandalorians started it.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

You know, uh Kerbin and I, and I guess you guys uh in the long run kind of are responsible for this rusty situation, so uh Oops.

SPEAKER_08 5:51

Wait, how us in the wrong long run? Well, you bought him. Okay, that's like a very long run, though, Mass. Look, we bought it to be a poisoner or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

Look, I'm going to be alive for well, let's not talk about how long I'm going to be alive for. So, you know, in the grand scheme of things, a hundred years is not that long.

SPEAKER_09 6:08

I guess that's true. Like, I mean, to be fair, we bought Rusty to help Mass. But, anyways, that's beside the point. Yeah, let's go deal with this Rusty situation. We're all cool. Everyone's cool.

SPEAKER_03 6:18

We have a very low engine temperature. We should be able to uh assist you optimally.

SPEAKER_09 6:24

Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_11 6:25

I don't trust this is going too well. I don't trust this one.

SPEAKER_08 6:29

Do you want to roll perception, see if he's trying to dupe us?

SPEAKER_11 6:32

Yeah. I don't know. Like that this feels like I know there's a lot of lo I knew I know there's like some loose ends here, but this I'm just I just want to make sure that this isn't one of them, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Okay, so uh you're gonna be rolling cool against Kerbin? Oh, cool. I guess I'm gonna be rolling cool against Kirbin. Well, perception against is cool. Okay, okay, that's much better. Yeah. Uh so that'll be your perception against four reds and a purple. Christ.

SPEAKER_08 7:02

Can you do it, Al?

SPEAKER_02 7:04

Um uh, how many destiny points do we got? You have one at the moment.

SPEAKER_07 7:10

Why not?

SPEAKER_11 7:10

Well you have two, actually. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna downgrade one of his. Uh two threat.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

So you can't read him whatsoever. Uh and you kind of get the sense that like you're going into uh the Akadi's maelstrom, you're going to Kessel, nobody's been to Kessel for a long time. You're gonna be in there with this Jedi Master, he's incredibly powerful. If there is like anything up his sleeve, you don't know that there there is, but it's like you you his power you've kind of dealt with before on its own, and he was kind of a challenge and you guys wanted to get away from him. You now you've got the addition of like you don't know what else is coming for you, so you can take a couple of strain as the sort of weight of the situation begins to press down on you.

SPEAKER_11 8:00

Oh, I'm starting to get a panic attack, y'all. Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_07 8:04

Oh my god, Al, settle down. Don't you remember? Don't we have breathing exercises?

SPEAKER_11 8:09

Uh no. Did they teach you that?

SPEAKER_07 8:12

Like when you were a secret agent?

SPEAKER_11 8:15

I missed that day of school.

SPEAKER_07 8:18

Do you need me to stick this? Do you need me to take you to my home gym, get a good pump session? It's gonna calm you down.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

We don't have time for this veteran ring. We don't have time for the bad. Yeah, you don't even have time to get your critical injuries healed.

SPEAKER_08 8:31

Oh no! Oh fucking. Wait, who has crits?

SPEAKER_02 8:36

Uh you and Rombius took one each last time. Oh no.

SPEAKER_08 8:40

Oh man, could we have rolled a medicine on the way to try to recover that?

SPEAKER_12 8:44

We had a lot of time.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

Uh on the trip, yeah, if you want to have rolled a resilience andor medicine.

SPEAKER_08 8:52

Oh, I can roll my resilience. What's that gonna be for resilience? I'm too powerful to stay crit.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

Uh so Vanray, you had an agonizing wound, so that'll be a two-purple. Okay. And that is a week's rest with resilience, so uh if you want to have been out of commission for a week. Well, how long did it take for us to travel here? Uh not more than a week, I don't think. Because you were traveling from like somewhere that was already kinda out of the way. What if I roll really, really good? Um, if you get a triumph, maybe.

SPEAKER_08 9:27

Okay, I'll take a strain to uh upgrade that. Okay, I didn't get a triumph. But would you accept two success, eight advantage? I also have two dark sides and a light side, so I could get two more advantage if you want ten. Is ten enough to be a triumph?

SPEAKER_02 9:45

Uh, in a few days, that crit is gonna be really healed. As long as you don't do anything strenuous in the meantime. Wait, really? Well, it's a week's rest with resilience.

SPEAKER_08 9:57

Okay, what if Rhombius did a medicine roll on me as well, and that just like gave him a huge buff? Um. I don't want to go into this last session with a fucking crit.

SPEAKER_11 10:07

I'll give you two 500 of my in-game credits, god.

SPEAKER_08 10:14

I will give you a shiny Canadian quarter that I'm pretty sure I have in my wallet. I will happily give you a hamburger on Tuesday.

unknown 10:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 10:25

Let's stay away from Kessel until everyone's all healed up. We got time. We'll just we'll just hang out.

SPEAKER_08 10:32

Listen, you need to got a couple days.

SPEAKER_12 10:35

Can I do a medicine roll to help?

SPEAKER_02 10:43

Could he get bonuses from how many advantage I got? Um, yeah, she's in otherwise pretty excellent shape, so you can add two blues onto that.

SPEAKER_12 10:51

For success, one threat.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Hell yeah. Alright, so Vanry, uh, you uh are feeling quite well. Rhombius has healed your agonizing wound. You are no longer in agony. Rhombius.

SPEAKER_12 11:05

The threat is I'm like, damn, she is in good shape.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Well, the thing is, like, you spend so much time on her won't have as much time on yourself.

SPEAKER_12 11:13

Ah, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

Uh, critical injury. We didn't actually roll it last time, uh, so I'm just rolling it now. It is a 27, so it is only gonna be a one purple, but you will have that black on it.

SPEAKER_12 11:24

Okay. I believe I have something. Oh no, I do not have anything that takes away blacks. Okay. So one purple and one black. Three success, one advantage.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

Alright, so on the uh the trip over, you can uh get yourselves uh uh pretty much healed up from your encounter with the skeletons and the giant shard robot as you head into the Acadies Maelstrom. Uh even though you have a chart from the shard, you will still need to navigate. So this will be a combination of piloting an astrogation. First astrogation to set the path. So you have uh the chart itself. So it's gonna start as a two purple. But uh this thing is pretty dangerous. I'm gonna go uh give you a destiny point, raise that to a red and a purple. And because uh of the unknown nature of large parts of this maelstrom, that is also going to add a black. So that is gonna be a red, a purple, and a black astrogation.

SPEAKER_12 12:21

Okay. Gonna flip a destiny, which gives me one failure, three advantage.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Jesus. So if you want, uh you can just follow the shard in.

SPEAKER_05 12:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

Uh so you're not gonna be uh like the shard can kind of see you're having trouble. So it links its Nava computer to yours for the jump, and you can make a series of short micro-hyperspace jumps, finding safe pockets through the maelstrom. And because you are kind of following in its wake, that means when you do have to drop out of hyperspace and navigate in real space periodically, that is gonna give you uh two blues onto the piloting roll. So gonna give you another destiny point, because as you drop out of hyperspace, you can see the gas is thick, the nebula, the clouds, there are enormous carbon bergs smashing into each other that are dangerous, sending debris flying. There are periodically, you think you can see in the distance between flashes of lightning the the wrecked hulls of starships that tried to make it through over the past several decades, but couldn't. So that is going to be a red, and this is pretty difficult. So it is gonna be a red and three purple piloting. You will get two blues though from uh Rhombius' astrogation.

SPEAKER_06 13:40

Can I co-pil?

SPEAKER_02 13:41

You can copilot. Copiloting will be two purple.

SPEAKER_06 13:44

One success, two advantage.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

Alright, so you can add a blue, downgrade that red to a purple, so just uh just four purples.

SPEAKER_11 13:52

Four purples. Just four purples.

SPEAKER_09 13:54

You gotta do it.

SPEAKER_11 13:55

Just four purples. Just four purple. I mean, four purples is better than five reds and a purple.

SPEAKER_09 13:59

Yeah. Don't be a bitch.

SPEAKER_11 14:01

Uh what? Dijx you. No, no, I'm just like, at no point was I compla complaining about having two roll. Just remind me.

SPEAKER_06 14:20

This is the last episode we get to be mean to Al.

SPEAKER_08 14:28

Maybe kill us at the end.

SPEAKER_11 14:30

What did we roll bad? Oh, I rolled good. Uh success and advantage.

SPEAKER_08 14:34

See how I'm motivating you to do good.

SPEAKER_11 14:37

Alright. Thanks, bitch.

SPEAKER_08 14:41

You're welcome, Swat.

SPEAKER_11 14:42

Fuck you. I couldn't have done this without you. I hate you so much. Don't leave me ever.

SPEAKER_08 14:51

Help are you okay? I hate you, don't leave me!

SPEAKER_11 14:59

I'm like the I'm like a I'm like a 90s alternative band where every second uh lyric is contradictory.

SPEAKER_08 15:07

Have we like stumbled into a troublingly codependent relationship and I did not realize? So sorry. Oh god.

SPEAKER_06 15:14

Is this a beauty and the beast thing? Who's beauty and who's the beast?

SPEAKER_11 15:22

The levels have evened out.

SPEAKER_06 15:25

The beauteous beast in hell.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

Anyway, success and advantage. Alright, so with your piloting, as you drop out of hyperspace for the final time, with that piloting, you can tell that, like, huh, that's interesting. There's no planet, you're still in the maelstrom, but it seems like, at least according to the Nava Computer, all the hyperspace jumps are done. So as your little convoy uh drops into real space again, you and the Shard and the Jedi Shuttle with Kerbina Maz aboard, the Shard kind of pulls away from you just enough for you to be able to see what you're flying towards. And it is an immense trawler freighter. Like there are bulk freighters, and then there are bulk freighters. So your ship is a silhouette 5. Uh, this ship is probably like silhouette 8 or 9.

SPEAKER_09 16:21

Oh shit. Uh hey, Mr. Shard, what's this?

SPEAKER_02 16:24

It just keeps flying towards, uh, and on your ship's readouts you can see that it is marking a path for you to land in one of the cavernous hangar bays alongside it.

SPEAKER_09 16:36

Did they destroy Kessel and this is all that's left?

SPEAKER_11 16:39

Are we are Al on your. Can I perceive to see if there's like a Death Star or something?

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Not a Death Star, just a really just a really big bolt freighter, which isn't uncommon uh due to Kessel shipping off fuel and and ore and mining equipment and stuff. So a ship of this size being near Kessel isn't super odd. You can tell that you are not like you're not at Kessel. This is still inside the maelstrom. Just for whatever reason, it didn't take you to Kessel, it took you to this ship instead.

SPEAKER_11 17:10

Interesting. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

You said it was hailing us, or it's giving you a path to land in the hangar bay.

SPEAKER_11 17:17

Uh, you know what? We've done dumber things. Let's land there.

SPEAKER_09 17:21

Hell yeah, let's land.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

Hell yeah. You can bring the ship in for a landing, escorted by the giant shark freighter, and uh the Jedi Shuttle follows you, and you can see that there are a lot of droids milling about the hangar. They seem to have been waiting for you. Some of them appear to be armed, some of them do not. You don't see Rusty among them.

SPEAKER_08 17:46

Okay. Are there any that we do recognize among them? Is Temenos there?

SPEAKER_02 17:52

Doesn't seem like Temenos is there.

SPEAKER_08 17:54

Well, are there any droids that are coming to greet us?

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Yeah, there is. Uh a small retinue of them. Their leader appears to be this big, like, he's about like eight to nine feet tall. Uh, some type of like hulking manual labor robot. He's he's like got these huge sort of manipulator arms that are so big that he has to kind of walk with this sort of hunched hand over hand gorilla posture. Ooh. But he he seems to be leading the pack. Uh he definitely looks like he's physically stronger than you, Vanry.

SPEAKER_07 18:33

What?

SPEAKER_02 18:34

No, that's not possible.

SPEAKER_07 18:36

What? He can at most have like seven brawn.

SPEAKER_11 18:40

At most.

SPEAKER_07 18:41

At most. Listen, I'm pretty sure technically, yes, at most.

SPEAKER_09 18:45

I realize that numbers being assigned to my brawn doesn't actually mean anything within universe, but like, whatever, this bitch is barely stronger than me. There's no way.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

I mean, maybe you'll get a chance to find out. Yeah, our rip his arm off!

SPEAKER_11 18:58

Uh, hello. Hello. Uh may I ask, uh, what's going on here? Hail and well met, fellow traveler.

SPEAKER_09 19:07

Hi.

SPEAKER_11 19:08

W well met to you as well.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Our uh associate has messaged ahead and told us that you were coming carrying a very important cargo. Is this true?

SPEAKER_07 19:18

Yeah. But we need to talk to Rusty, who uh we we think have reason to think is on Kessel.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

Yes, that is the case. Unfortunately, uh things have become complicated. Oh, why'd you have to make things so complicated?

SPEAKER_09 19:37

Yeah, spell the spell the tea. Tell us the drama. Why is it complicated? We love it.

SPEAKER_11 19:43

I mean, not like that well, okay, maybe you do, that's okay.

SPEAKER_09 19:46

I love it.

SPEAKER_11 19:47

I love it.

SPEAKER_09 19:48

Love it.

SPEAKER_11 19:49

I love it.

SPEAKER_09 19:50

I love the drama.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

Tell me the tea tell me the tea, sir. Unfortunately, we don't have much tea to speak of as we are an entirely mechanical crew. Uh oil then. Spill the oil.

SPEAKER_08 20:04

Boiling oil.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

We can prepare you some oil if you would desire.

SPEAKER_08 20:10

No, no, it's uh What's going on?

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Apologies. Uh it has been quite stressful here. Uh hospitality is not something we're used to. You may call me chalk. Little robot does not compute. Chalk? Yes, I'm I'm the captain of this once great freighter vessel. I call him Chalk 2.

SPEAKER_09 20:34

Oh, it looks like pretty good still, does it?

SPEAKER_01 20:38

It has sustained a lot of damage, unfortunately, and although we uh are doing what we can to repair it, it may not be enough to restore Kessel to what it once used to be. See, uh this droid that you refer to as Rusty.

SPEAKER_10 20:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

Is he is he trying to end Kessel or Well, many cycles ago he assisted us in taking control of the world. And after the war ended, he returned to us again with a uh a new mission. He was charged with curating an index of I don't totally understand it, but it the way he explained it, it seemed like he was curating an index of potential s future Sith that would need to be eliminated for the good of the galaxy. For the greater good.

SPEAKER_09 21:27

That's a way of looking at it.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

We took him at his word based on our previous dealings with him. We wanted to help him. This seemed like a good thing to do, especially because people were beginning to become distrustful of the situation on Castle. We only sought fuel to uh help our society survive, and we thought that freeing Castle from the pikes would be a boon to the galaxy. So we wanted to help Rusty. Unfortunately, his journey through the maelstrom was not as uneventful as yours, and he came to us severely injured.

SPEAKER_07 22:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

Not rusty.

SPEAKER_07 22:02

Did you have to rebuild him with parts from an evil robot?

SPEAKER_01 22:06

No. His machinery was far too damaged for us to fix. So we took him to somewhere that we knew would be able to help. Our abilities, you may have noticed, we can change our shape to disguise ourselves as vehicles and machines to uh help us evade being smashed to bits by people who don't like us. So we took him to where we got our ability, the droids of the planet Ronyards, a junk world, home to many ancient machines, some of them with parts even as old as Rusty.

SPEAKER_08 22:40

Wait, Ronyards, was that the place we went where there was like the that fucking weird Alina dude? Uh no is rebuilding the Jedi Temple.

SPEAKER_02 22:47

I mean that was Rax's Prime, and you didn't go there.

SPEAKER_09 22:50

Rax's Prime. Did we Oh right, we dead end. Oh my god, sorry, I'm the main character of the universe. I just remember the things from every other main character of the universe.

SPEAKER_07 22:58

Have we gone to Ronyo's? That sounds so familiar. I am not my main character.

SPEAKER_11 23:03

I I I'm I'm like Dr. Manhattan. I could just see all time and space.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

Someone else may have gone to Ronyards, but uh Vanry, you have never been to Ronyards.

SPEAKER_08 23:12

What would it be to know anything about Ronyards?

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Uh that would be a knowledge lore or knowledge outer rim. Oh Rhombius?

SPEAKER_08 23:22

I have Alright. No, never mind.

SPEAKER_12 23:24

Said lore was an option?

SPEAKER_02 23:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 23:26

Yeah, Rhombius's lore is off the chain.

SPEAKER_12 23:28

Lore. Lore never changes.

SPEAKER_02 23:30

Uh so to this will be a five purple to know to know the important thing about ronyards that you think you may want to know.

SPEAKER_12 23:40

Five purple. That is difficult. But so are you if you're not a fucking wizard. Three success with one triumph and four threat.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

Hell yeah, bitch. Alright, so Rhombius, uh, in your travels, you have heard of Ronyards and your quest to live forever. You heard of a planet in your travels that was referred to by the nickname the Body of the Living God, and you thought, that sounds promising. But I love bodies. But in your uh investigation, um, all you discovered was that Ronyards was a junk planet and the living god was just uh I don't know, some kind of like junk abomination that lived in the planet or something. So in the end it didn't really help you. Uh you don't know what an abomination an abominor or an abominus is, per se. But you did uh hear that. It doesn't sound good if these uh Shard are taking Rusty to a planet called the Body of the Living God, uh and giving him parts from their living god. Uh like even even you thought it seemed a little evil. It's a little high concept.

SPEAKER_11 25:04

It's a little it's a little much.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

But whatever uh it appeared that maybe it was like even like extra galactic in nature.

SPEAKER_07 25:12

Oh, so does Rom was does Rusty have evil parts in him now?

SPEAKER_01 25:16

Oh no, not at all. The uh living god was kind enough to donate some machinery to Rusty, and of course the Living God uh gave us our abilities, so that's nice. And we're not evil.

SPEAKER_07 25:27

Uh are you sure? The problem You know what I is that Rusty was evil.

SPEAKER_08 25:33

And you're sure that none of you is evil, like no part of you personally.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

Myself, no. I do not believe that uh I am evil, however, evil is uh done in actions, not in being, so whether or not my actions are evil, uh, would depend on who is on the other end. Certainly, I have played my own part in keeping Kessel secure from the rest of the galaxy, but uh that is perhaps a matter best discussed at another time. The issue with Rusty, unfortunately, was that his power core was too old to be replaced. So he needed something to uh go in there instead. A young shard by the name of Sparky volunteered to become his new beating heart, as it were.

SPEAKER_10 26:18

Sparky! Your disgusting little friend, Al. He's my boy! Spanky, I miss him so much! No, Spanky was Squato. Oh my god, Al! You're a bad friend!

SPEAKER_01 26:34

I really am. However, normally when one of our kind adopts a carapace, it is an inert machine to prevent any undue influence on the mind of the Shar that takes over the body. Rusty had centuries upon centuries of ill deeds locked away inside that mechanical mind of his. And I am sad to say that the galvanized being that resulted, who called himself Rust Spark, is neither Rusty nor Sparky, and is now something altogether much worse.

SPEAKER_11 27:10

Oh no.

SPEAKER_07 27:13

Okay, so like what has this Rust Spark been doing then, I guess?

SPEAKER_01 27:18

He has been amassing followers, coerced or reprogrammed, we do not know. Some joined of their own free will, I am sure. But he began speaking of things ancient and forgotten, things that could potentially bring the Shard great power if he was able to reclaim an artifact known as the Spark Eternal. Spark Eternal. To this end. I I caught that too. Sent his agents out into the galaxy to retrieve it, but when I received word that a group of meat-based fellows had stumbled upon it. Wait, is that us? It made my silicates glad.

SPEAKER_09 28:01

Wait, so is that this thing?

SPEAKER_01 28:03

Oh shit! What? You have it out in the open.

SPEAKER_08 28:07

Um no. That thing that's um not with us that we have to bargain with.

SPEAKER_11 28:14

Are you trying to hide it behind yourself right now?

SPEAKER_08 28:16

Hiding it behind my back. No.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

It is not scan shielded or anything. Should it be? Uh we're new to this thing here.

SPEAKER_11 28:27

We're we're new to it.

SPEAKER_08 28:28

Hang on, is it though, like, did uh did Seth have it in a box or anything? A led coveted.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Set was coveting it, but he didn't have it like he had to take it out of even if he did have like a lead box or something, he would have had to have taken it out when he was using it for his uh ascension.

SPEAKER_08 28:46

Oh god, should it have been Scan Shield? Is that why Set was going all cuckoo Bonazzo?

SPEAKER_01 28:50

Oh, it made him Cuckoo Bonazzo.

unknown 28:52

I think it's a good one.

SPEAKER_08 28:55

I mean, not as much. Remember when he turned into like a little gollamy guy? It was so gross.

SPEAKER_06 29:01

Yeah, but like Rombius does that sometimes if he's hungry.

SPEAKER_09 29:04

Yeah, and Set was hungry for this thing.

SPEAKER_12 29:07

We uh we all go a little cuckoo bonato sometimes.

SPEAKER_08 29:11

So, like, what's gonna happen?

SPEAKER_09 29:12

Like, do we all have cancer now?

SPEAKER_01 29:14

I do not believe so, though I am not uh innately familiar with meat-based creatures such as yourselves. Uh the radiation of the Spark Eternal should be safe for you to handle. It was created by meat-based creatures, if the lore is correct. However, it being out in the open and unshielded means that it is highly likely that Rust Spark and his goons, if I uh can borrow a term.

SPEAKER_09 29:41

You probably shouldn't borrow that term. From who?

SPEAKER_01 29:45

Fine, I'll I'll use an unsullied term. His minions would have No.

SPEAKER_08 29:55

Sorry, we We've sullied a lot of terms. Are they like little yellow guys with goggles?

SPEAKER_01 30:02

Well, as uh mining droids, some of them certainly are.

SPEAKER_09 30:05

But Oh yeah, okay, that works then.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

But it is likely that he will be able to pinpoint the location of the Spark Eternal so close to Kessel, and he will be coming.

SPEAKER_09 30:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 30:15

Um I mean you should have spoken.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

We must gun the loins of our vessel.

SPEAKER_11 30:21

Brace for imminent attack if possible. Last episode, ladies and gentlemen. Until the next one.

SPEAKER_08 30:28

We are fine.

SPEAKER_11 30:30

We're fine.

SPEAKER_06 30:31

We're fine. When it's when you said it made your silicates happy, is that like warming the cockles of your heart? The cock holes? Sorry, that's all I've been thinking about for the past minute.

SPEAKER_11 30:43

Uh it's getting a little hot in here. Does anybody have a fanny?

SPEAKER_09 30:48

No, you're gonna have to take off all your clothes.

SPEAKER_11 30:50

Oh.

SPEAKER_08 30:51

Okay, so like how long do you think it's gonna take for him to get here?

SPEAKER_01 30:55

Well, it depends on his ability to navigate the maelstrom, and as Russ Spark has controlled navigation through Kessel for well these many decades, he will probably be quick.

SPEAKER_07 31:06

Oh, so like uh what, like a day, ten minutes?

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Well, how good are you at organizing uh point defense formations on uh mining lasers?

SPEAKER_11 31:15

Oh, if you give me the instruction manual, I'll figure that motherfucker out.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

Alright, very well. Uh, would you please head to the mining drill operations center and uh tell our technicians what to do? No. Yeah, I need the instruction manual first.

SPEAKER_11 31:34

Very well.

SPEAKER_06 31:34

Yeah, I I was gonna say, dude, like we ran a bar. I'm sure you were like undercover somewhere where you like had to pretend to run a drill or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

Yeah, did you uh because you do have that inside man. That's true.

SPEAKER_08 31:50

You've used it.

SPEAKER_11 31:54

I I I've I've definitely uh I've definitely drilled the colour. Yeah, before a undercover inside person.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

In a uh an enormous uh mining freighter.

SPEAKER_11 32:05

Yeah, like uh there there's definitely a couple times where I where I've had to uh go undercover around a bunch of big sweaty men. Uh investi investigate some rebel rebel scum uh possible terrorist cells in mining uh in mining communities and what have you. We and we end up uh having to level the town before I'm done my uh investigation, but that's neither here nor there.

SPEAKER_08 32:32

So you've just told us a story of a time when you were really bad at your job and I am not feeling the confidence you were hoping for.

SPEAKER_11 32:40

I know how I know how to drill things. I can I can I I can insideman this particular bit.

SPEAKER_06 32:48

Is Raven still with us?

SPEAKER_02 32:50

Raven is still with you.

SPEAKER_06 32:52

Did she Hi Raven. As as as Bane, did she still did she have a good childhood instead of working in a mine forever?

SPEAKER_02 32:59

Uh, yeah. Her daddy does not know.

SPEAKER_06 33:04

Okay, never mind. Bye, Raven.

SPEAKER_08 33:06

Hi, Raven. We remembered you were here.

SPEAKER_03 33:09

Oh goody.

SPEAKER_08 33:10

That's a correct response to have. I'm glad that you're having it. Okay, so Al knows how to drill. Perfect.

SPEAKER_11 33:15

Alright, Al, your name is. Can I uh sh should I uh uh I guess I could just give my actual name. My name is Mond. Al Mond.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

Well, Mondlemond, why don't you head to the uh mining area and our chief engineer Rayfek will be there to assist you.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

And I head that way. You can head that way. And Chalk says.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

Alright, the rest of you, uh are any of you adept at uh last-minute shield overhauls?

SPEAKER_07 33:44

Uh Rombius!

SPEAKER_12 33:48

Computing. Compute thing.

SPEAKER_08 33:52

Or Meyer, I guess. Listen, if you have something that like lets me uh just punch the shit out of something or someone, I'm there for you. Everything else, uh maybe not.

SPEAKER_06 34:01

I'm good at lying, so like, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 34:03

I'm good at if you believe me. I'm good at lying down on the ground so no one attacks me.

SPEAKER_11 34:12

Is that your defense- is that your defense? That's basically shields mechanism possum maneuver.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Well, if you are volunteering, then our Chief Science Officer Tafsan will gladly uh assist you in whatever you think you would be able to do.

SPEAKER_06 34:29

Wait, what are the other jobs?

SPEAKER_01 34:31

Well, there's a lot to do. You said that you uh like to lift heavy things.

SPEAKER_07 34:35

Me? I'm so good at that. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:37

Well, uh, in that case, uh, during our travels, we did have to make a very hasty escape from Kessel, and uh there are still many and sundry large boulders that are uh broken through our hull. We've managed to patch the holes, but the rocks are still weighing us down. If you could carry them to our hangar bay and just kinda kick them out, that would help us a lot.

SPEAKER_08 35:03

Oh hell yeah, I can lift a big rock and kick it out. You leave it to me, which way?

SPEAKER_02 35:07

And he he points down uh one of the hallways where it's like clear that like their sparks, the lights aren't really working. It's a little like smoky, like they quote unquote patched it, but what does that mean in this situation?

SPEAKER_08 35:23

I'm on it, I'm running! I'm running into the smoke and the sparks!

SPEAKER_11 35:27

Don't forget this, and uh somebody throws you uh handy dandy secret m uh tool man secret weapon duck date.

SPEAKER_08 35:36

I'll slap it out of the air. I don't need this bullshit, let me run!

SPEAKER_01 35:39

And shot says, uh get Mogrova to help you!

SPEAKER_08 35:42

I don't need help, fuck him!

SPEAKER_02 35:49

And uh this like loader robot with like he's kind of got like he's almost built like like a Christmas tree. He's got these like big, like thick legs, uh almost like a stabilizer tail, and he just kind of like tapers up to this grasper, like I guess a maw, like a grasper maw on the top. Like he seems like this weird kind of loading thing, and he kind of hobbles after her, looking almost sort of like a like a T-Rex or something. Like, and not even like a cool one, but like a 1950s like tripod T-Rex.

unknown 36:25

Nice.

SPEAKER_11 36:26

The one with the platform below it with wheels on it.

SPEAKER_08 36:29

Brrrrrrrr.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

And you there, pale one, what are you skilled at?

SPEAKER_08 36:35

I feel like that could be either of the remaining people. Both of you are just like me.

SPEAKER_11 36:43

Him, me? You do the knight in the rock berry. You mean him, him?

SPEAKER_12 36:46

I am a a smart defense wizard. A wizard? I have science and uh occult research and uh cheating death. Cheating on death.

SPEAKER_08 37:06

With life.

SPEAKER_01 37:09

Well then maybe you would be able to help us to uh do something about this artifact. Yes.

SPEAKER_12 37:15

Maybe a knowledge lore check would give me some ideas about what to do with this artifact.

SPEAKER_01 37:23

Well, if you're going to be putting that uh out in the open and studying it, perhaps you should head to the most scan shielded part of the ship in the core. I will we will head to the core. A very wise shard that I trust uh named A3 should be able to help you there. Alright then.

SPEAKER_02 37:40

So you can uh split up the party as all good plans but uh happen. Wait, what's Meyer doing? I mean Meyer, are you are you gonna go deal with the shields?

SPEAKER_06 37:50

Is that the only other job?

SPEAKER_02 37:52

Uh, unless you know a lot about lower lifting rocks or uh mining uh firing patterns.

SPEAKER_06 38:00

Let me at those shields. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:04

Alright, so uh Al, you can find uh Rafek, this droid, working like like a madman trying to recalibrate the frigate's mining lasers into something that could fend off uh attacking vessels. He's just kind of like stocky, almost like he's got these like long like like rectangular body, these long gangly arms that almost kind of drag down to the floor. He's got no mouth, it looks like he's just like the bottom half of his head is like a slinky, uh, and he's got these two like giant like warning lights on the side of his head that are constantly flashing whenever he's talking, and they're actually kind of distracting. And he's like, hey, hey, the boss told us that some meat boy was gonna come down here. Are you the super meat boy?

SPEAKER_11 38:58

Uh I could I could be your bandage girl.

SPEAKER_02 39:01

Hey, bandage boy, bandage girl, I don't give a shit as long as you're good. You know military shit.

SPEAKER_11 39:06

Uh I know of military shit, one uh 100%.

SPEAKER_03 39:10

You lying?

SPEAKER_11 39:11

I don't think. Uh no, actually, I'm really not this time.

SPEAKER_03 39:16

This time?

SPEAKER_02 39:16

Oh shit. Alright, uh, so we gotta recalibrate this shit's make it so that we can actually fend off an attack if uh Rest Spock and his guys, if his goons come after us, and I don't use that term lightly because I know what they do in their spare time. So, uh, let's you know how to handle a hydro spanner or a uh how about a data pad? You one of those Thinky Brain guys?

SPEAKER_11 39:39

I'd probably do uh good with a data uh uh sp what what was the first one? A data spanner? A hydro spanner? Hydro hydrospanner. I'd probab what it what is a hydro spanner? And then he hands you the data pad. Got it. Okay, let's let me do the data pad thingy.

SPEAKER_02 39:57

So as he picks up a hydro spanner to uh continue doing the hardware modifications, uh he hands you a data pad that is full of uh like you can recognize them from your time as a Sith uh intelligence operative. These are like military-style codes, military-style maneuvers. Uh, but you'll probably need to roll to figure out which one is gonna be the most effective. Can do. So this is gonna be you'll be able to uh while you're here, since you're you've dealt with this mining equipment before, you'll be able to add those two advantages on from those inside person, and everybody will be able to add those two advantages on from Al like briefing you on what exactly these ships can do.

SPEAKER_05 40:41

Nice.

SPEAKER_02 40:41

Yeah. So, uh, this is gonna be a knowledge warfare. Knowledge warfare, got it. So, how effective do you want uh these defenses to be? So you'll be able to choose the difficulty of the roll, and if you succeed on that, if there's any enemy ships that come through, they will have to uh if they're evading or trying to blow out the guns, the roll they'll be countering will be whatever difficulty you're choosing to set uh for your target. So if you want them to have a really hard time roll against four or five, you'll have to roll against four or five. If you don't feel confident, but you want to put up some resistance, you could do one, they'll still have to roll against one.

SPEAKER_11 41:26

I wanna roll against. You know what? I wanna uh roll against four. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:32

So you're trying to put up a four purple defense.

SPEAKER_11 41:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

And how many destiny points do we have? Uh you got one, and you have those two advantages as well.

SPEAKER_11 41:42

I'm gonna I'm gonna flip one. Uh sorry everyone.

SPEAKER_08 41:46

That's fine, go for it.

SPEAKER_11 41:48

Alright, this is interesting. Three success, three threat, and one triumph. Ooh.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

Nice. So, uh, you can program these with like any any Sith defense tactics you remember, you can punch in there.

SPEAKER_11 42:04

Uh so they're definitely- The issue is they might be outdated.

SPEAKER_02 42:07

They might be outdated. Uh, it was over a hundred years ago, but that also means nobody's fought the Sith in a hundred years.

SPEAKER_11 42:16

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_02 42:17

So nobody's prepared against that. Uh grandpa, finally your advanced age comes in handy. So when any interlopers arrive, they are gonna be rolling against. That triumph is gonna upgrade that. That's gonna be against a red and three purple.

SPEAKER_11 42:34

Oh, wait a minute. I didn't add the two advantage, so uh, that's one threat.

SPEAKER_02 42:39

And just one threat?

SPEAKER_11 42:41

Just one threat.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

So you get a little tuckered out. You can take some strain. Not a huge Okay, I'm okay with that.

SPEAKER_11 42:47

My brain hasn't worked this hard since, well, a hundred years ago, probably.

SPEAKER_08 42:52

I haven't seen your set of set. I need to sit down.

SPEAKER_11 42:55

Ugh.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

I'm getting too old for this shit. And uh Rafek, as he's uh finishing his modifications, he says, Alright, let's uh fire this shit up, let's see if we can blast some of these carbon birds, take them for a test drive. And he uh flips the switch, the mining lasers hung to life, and they start rotating and blasting in predetermined firing art based on your programming, and pieces of rock and carbon berg in the distance are blown to smithereen's their debris passing harmlessly by the ship in uh brilliantly mathematically determined paths. He says, Holy shit, Super Meat Boy, you're pretty good.

SPEAKER_11 43:34

Oh, what can I say? I've had a lot of practice, well, once upon a time.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

Uh yeah, you'll have to.

SPEAKER_11 43:40

I'm sorry, I j just hearing just hearing Super Meat Boy makes me think of like the red streaks and the replay at the end of the thing of like how many times I failed before I succeeded. That feels like an ap metaphor somehow. Anyways.

SPEAKER_03 43:53

Well, hey, uh if we uh make it out of this alive, you can tell me about all your exploits.

SPEAKER_11 43:57

Uh you know what? I'm gonna

SPEAKER_02 44:03

Well, I ain't gonna be able to read it because I'm illiterate.

SPEAKER_11 44:07

Ah, okay. I'll tell okay, fine. I'll tell you about my exploits.

SPEAKER_08 44:11

And is this your beauty and the beast thing, Al? Can you teach this robot how to read? Are you beauty?

SPEAKER_11 44:18

It's okay. We have all the time. We have all the time in the world.

SPEAKER_08 44:25

You say that, I imagine you like reaching out a hand and just gently putting one finger over where its lips might be.

SPEAKER_11 44:37

He wants to hear my stories. I've never felt closer to anybody in all my life.

SPEAKER_06 44:42

Can you just like download a software upgrade so they can read or whatever?

SPEAKER_02 44:45

He's not a droid, he's a fucking quartz.

SPEAKER_06 44:48

Oh shit. Oh, I guess. They all seem the same to me. I can't tell the aliens apart from the animals.

SPEAKER_11 44:56

I can't tell the aliens apart from the robots.

SPEAKER_08 45:00

Well, someone's not gonna be getting a cool shared boyfriend.

SPEAKER_11 45:05

Yikes.

SPEAKER_06 45:06

Oh no. Oh no, my my xenology uh just came in handy for being more racist.

SPEAKER_08 45:16

So uh you can you can bring it back just like you know, as soon as you start talking to the one that you're helping, just like, you know, you're not like other shard.

SPEAKER_11 45:25

You're different, special.

SPEAKER_06 45:26

And then I go shh to where it's what it might be. What's up to that?

SPEAKER_02 45:40

So, uh, Meyer, as you're being racist, uh, you can head to where uh Chalk told you to go. And you can enter this uh room that that seems to be like there's a lot of computer banks. It seems to be some kind of uh laboratory or uh science facility. There's a lot of like m equipment and machines to analyze ore and metals and anything that the the frigate may have collected, but you don't see any like shard droids in there.

SPEAKER_06 46:14

Hello Shield Shield person?

SPEAKER_02 46:18

And from the ceiling, this little like arm, this ambulatory kind of like scanner thing, like an electron microscope on this long arm drops down from the ceiling, and it kind of rotates and turns, and it like stares at you with its little black camera eye.

SPEAKER_03 46:34

And you can hear, like, from teeny speakers all over the room, it says, Oh yes, you are the one who has been called over to help me, you looking as you are, trying to mimic our superior form with your shiny little armours.

SPEAKER_06 46:50

Uh no, I'm I'm mimicking like a Mandalorian.

SPEAKER_03 46:54

And yes, the Mandalorians are mimicking us too.

SPEAKER_02 46:57

So you are a copy of a copy that's supposed to help me how exactly.

SPEAKER_11 47:01

Oh, fucking burn.

SPEAKER_06 47:03

How does how I look uh reflect on like how smart I am?

SPEAKER_03 47:07

Well, yeah, I can tell by the way you use your walk that you are not a woman's man and that you rarely have time to talk.

SPEAKER_02 47:17

I can tell, uh, from the weapon on your back that you fancy yourself a powerful warrior, but it is not very well taken care of, and it does not seem to have been used that much, so it appears to be mostly a display piece.

SPEAKER_05 47:33

Did you get that in a move kiosk?

SPEAKER_11 47:38

I kinda love this guy.

SPEAKER_02 47:44

Uh other than his just like it's hard to say. Like, he might just be the room.

SPEAKER_06 47:51

God, I'm gonna like it. Man, I just give him the finger. Fuck you!

SPEAKER_02 48:03

Yes, you will need to point at buttons and things if you're going to be helping me read to recalibrate the shields.

SPEAKER_06 48:08

Alright, well then fucking tell me what to do or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 48:11

Oh, no need to take that trip with me, young man.

SPEAKER_06 48:14

Well, if you think you're so first of all, I'm not a woman's man. I'm a woman's I'm I'm a girl.

SPEAKER_08 48:22

I'm like You gonna stop yourself at the last second.

SPEAKER_06 48:26

Are you just like mad at me because you don't have fingers to press the buttons in here and you need somebody to do it for you?

SPEAKER_02 48:33

No, perhaps I was mistaken, but uh I just detected an excess of testosterone in your body chemicals.

SPEAKER_06 48:41

Oh damn. Maybe I should start like pumping weights or something that I can like get get a pump on.

SPEAKER_02 48:48

You may wish to You've been taking tea? Look out for hair loss later in life. I do not know if a creature as vain as you is going to find that concerning, but uh just even tell what I look like with the helmet on. Oh please, I perceive everything in this room.

SPEAKER_06 49:04

Okay. I'm just gonna start pressing buttons.

SPEAKER_02 49:09

No, not that one!

SPEAKER_11 49:10

Where's your where's your off switch?

SPEAKER_06 49:12

Well, damn, if you don't shut up, then uh Do you want to try and shut up?

SPEAKER_08 49:18

You're gonna try to murder him?

SPEAKER_06 49:20

Give him one more chance.

SPEAKER_02 49:22

Oh god.

SPEAKER_06 49:22

Alright, are we like setting up the shields or what?

SPEAKER_02 49:24

Yes, very well. Show me what you can do.

SPEAKER_06 49:27

Just like shut him off.

SPEAKER_11 49:30

I'll show you what I can do. Oh fuck, well how do I set up the shields? Oh shit. Oh fuck, oh no.

SPEAKER_06 49:37

Can I get some dice for growing up in a ship? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:41

Being a ship rather than everything is routed through that terminal over there. Sit your underdeveloped gluteus in the chair and get to work.

SPEAKER_06 49:50

Ooh. That's not an aesthetic choice, so. As uh thanks for telling me I have a small ass, though. That was a compliment, actually. I sit down at the computer.

SPEAKER_02 50:01

Alright, so you do have uh some experience uh working not working, being around ships and and how they work. You did kind of uh grow up in a family that makes them for a living. Uh and you did get kind of a briefing from Al. So if you want to try and do something to help the shields, uh that is probably that's gonna be about the same difficulty, same thing as uh what Al did, where it's like if they're gonna start blasting you, whatever difficulty you want them to have to blast against will be the difficulty that you are gonna take.

SPEAKER_06 50:35

Okay, do I get a blue?

SPEAKER_02 50:37

Uh yeah, you can get a blue.

SPEAKER_06 50:38

Okay. Uh I'll do three purple. Two success, two threat. Nice.

SPEAKER_02 50:48

So you can uh change the power. You can like, do you want to shut this guy up? Yes. Well, this room's kind of a non-essential system, so you can like take power from him and uh divert it to the shields to overclock them so that when people fire, they're gonna have to fire against three purple. However, he did get those two threat, and he says, Wait, what are you what are you doing? That's that's no good. Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. And he kind of powers down, and it's quiet in the room, finally. Uh, and then you hear this hiss as this like side panel door. Oh god.

SPEAKER_06 51:24

Oh hell yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:26

And then outsteps like the most beautiful prototype android you've ever seen. Oh my fucking like a like a marble statue. Like this thing is like, you don't know who built it or why, but he's got like he's got a very handsome face. Like, for a droid, he's pretty hot. Unfortunately, it's got this guy's personality and says, What in the blazes did you do that for, you creepy little lad?

SPEAKER_08 51:55

Enemies to lovers, enemies to lovers. Me and Al chanting from our opposite ends of the ship.

SPEAKER_06 52:04

The rest of this ship is clearly in bad condition, so I didn't think you'd mind.

SPEAKER_02 52:11

Mind what, shambling around like one of you creatures? This is highly unethical.

SPEAKER_06 52:18

What's so wrong about that?

SPEAKER_02 52:20

This body is untested. It was captured in pirate loot. I don't know its full capabilities. Oh my god, I was raised up his wrong capabilities.

SPEAKER_06 52:33

Damn, you wanna find out if it's fully functional? I I can help you check out that body if you want.

SPEAKER_02 52:43

Just prevent me from entering into ending combat situations if at all possible. Based on my scans, it appears that this thing has an inordinate amount of soft silicon fleshy bits.

SPEAKER_06 52:57

Oh hell yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:02

Right on! I crave the cold, hard, stiff power of a machine body. Not this halfway.

SPEAKER_08 53:09

Well, that's a p you know.

SPEAKER_11 53:10

That's what I love about this robot, man. I get older as this team age.

SPEAKER_08 53:15

We love their cold, powerful, stiff power. Are are you like in your in your full armor? Are you gonna take off your helmet and shake out your dry ass hair and be like, hey there?

SPEAKER_11 53:28

Oh, such a bitch though. I mean, you could fix him.

SPEAKER_08 53:32

Yeah. We have like an hour where we could fix whatever robots we're trying to fuck. Until we all get attacked and die.

SPEAKER_06 53:42

Alright, I go up to him and do a anger on his lips.

unknown 53:47

Shh.

SPEAKER_02 53:49

And there's some like give in his lips.

SPEAKER_08 53:59

He was made for love and you baby.

SPEAKER_06 54:06

I feel like I'm being worst. Be bullied into it by your shipmates. I mean, like, worry about the ship.

SPEAKER_11 54:15

Maybe worry about the shields now and then worry about the-ready.

SPEAKER_06 54:21

I mean, how long is it gonna be until Russ Bark gets here or whatever?

SPEAKER_02 54:26

Well, depending on uh how quick he is to uh intercept the readings and how quick and and he's like kind of mumbling this like it's like he's your fingers up against his lips, so he's kind of helpful in this. Like you can tell that like and he stops because it's like he's never had to speak with a tongue before.

SPEAKER_05 54:45

Oh what that tongue game like.

SPEAKER_12 54:51

Oh god, no, oh god, no. You gotta teach him how to use it.

SPEAKER_08 54:58

There's only one way to know what that tongue does.

SPEAKER_06 55:00

Oh god, this is the worst. Is it?

SPEAKER_11 55:05

It's pretty bad.

SPEAKER_06 55:07

It's not the worst. I I can think of things that were worse.

SPEAKER_11 55:13

Okay. Exactly! Good, good. I'm happy that you can think of things that are worse. I'm happy that there are not there are worse things that you can think of.

SPEAKER_06 55:23

I mean we could check out those silicone parts or or whatever. I mean, then maybe you won't hate this like robot body that much.

SPEAKER_11 55:35

Does it have feelings? Can it feel things? Give me a charm.

SPEAKER_06 55:38

Yeah, that seems coercive.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

Give me a charm or a coercion then.

SPEAKER_04 55:43

Don't do a coercion.

SPEAKER_06 55:46

If it's charm, then it's his choice. Ish? What kind of charm?

SPEAKER_11 55:52

Um Well, it's his it's his choice no matter what. You just get to uh update it, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:58

Yeah, it'll be uh so uh cool charm is against cool, cool is based on presence. This guy doesn't have a lot of presence. Uh god. Yeah, so this will be against a purple, uh, but he does seem to dislike you, so that'll be against a purple and two blacks.

SPEAKER_08 56:14

Come on, Meyer. That's the worst.

SPEAKER_11 56:16

This rules. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 56:20

Did you win?

SPEAKER_06 56:22

Did I? Are you winning suffered? Three success, one triumph, one threat.

SPEAKER_02 56:32

Yeah And and he says As it seems that combat is perhaps inevitable, it would behoove me to try and explore every function that this body could possibly provide, and given that you are the only one who is within testing range, if there is anything that you would like to attempt, now would be the time to do it.

SPEAKER_12 56:56

That is such a fucking good pickup line. I'm gonna remember that one. I'm writing this down.

SPEAKER_06 57:03

You know what? I had to watch my like younger brother become an old man and whatever, so let's do this shit.

SPEAKER_08 57:10

Oh god. I've been through so much already.

SPEAKER_02 57:16

Alright, so while that's happening, uh Van R you're tossing rocks with a T-Rex robot?

SPEAKER_08 57:24

Yeah, hell yeah, I'm gonna throw. Can I like because I'm I'm guessing that this T-Rex robot has like good lifting capabilities. Can we like just strap a wagon on the back of it and I'll just throw rocks in it and then we'll just drag them all out?

SPEAKER_02 57:37

Well, he's just got like his grasping maw that is like where his head should be, is like big enough to carry. So it's like once once like he's got it, like if you and him want to tag team these giant boulders to drag them out. Like I'll lift them up and feed them to him and then he'll trundle them out. Uh yeah, or if you both want to drag them out at the same time. Because he does seem like quite strong.

SPEAKER_08 58:00

Okay, yeah, let's tag team him. Hell yeah, dude. Let's get these things out of there.

SPEAKER_02 58:04

So, uh Hell yeah, dog. This is this is mostly going to be uh like the others, it'll depend you'll get to choose how many you you want to try and get. So it the most you could do is like five purple would be getting all the boulders out.

SPEAKER_08 58:18

Uh would that be uh athletics?

SPEAKER_02 58:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 58:21

I'll do five purple. I'll do it. And I'll take a strain to upgrade. Huh. Well, I got two advantage, two lights and a dark side. I'll flip that dark side to get a success. So one success, two advantage, got them all, baby.

SPEAKER_02 58:34

Is that with uh Al's advantage?

SPEAKER_08 58:36

It's not, so that's for advantage. It's two advantage, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:40

Yeah. So uh the two of you can uh clear out these boulders, and as like you're picking up these rocks and sweating and heaving, like you you you hear this like shard, like almost like chuckle, it seems like.

SPEAKER_08 58:54

Who's laughing? Is it the T-Rex?

SPEAKER_02 58:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 58:56

What's up? Oh my god, Vanry like move big rock. We have so much in common! Hell yeah!

SPEAKER_12 59:06

Five the the rarely seen T-Rex to love her sprout.

SPEAKER_08 59:13

But my finger over It's actually mostly common with Chuck Tingle.

SPEAKER_12 59:20

Pounded in the butt by robot T-Rex.

SPEAKER_00 59:27

Maybe small creature ride on Macrova back, carry rock.

SPEAKER_08 59:31

Oh my god, yeah, we go double fast. I gotta hold like two rocks on each shoulder that'll ride on you, and then you take us out there? Hell yeah! Finally, soda communicates on my level!

SPEAKER_02 59:41

So uh you and you and Makrova can move these giant boulders back and forth. You're riding on this uh droid shard T-Rex hooking them out into space. Uh why don't you give me uh an athletics to aim them if you want to sort of lay a boulder minefield?

SPEAKER_07 1:00:00

Oh yeah, what would that be for athletics?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:03

Uh, so again, this would kind of be uh how how hard do you want it to be for them to uh navigate this minefield.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:11

Okay. Um, you know what? I'll do I'll do five purple again. And I'll take another strain to upgrade.

SPEAKER_12 1:00:18

Yeah.

unknown 1:00:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:19

Ooh, okay. One success, two threat, two light side and a dark side. Oh no, but that would still be with the two advantage though, right? So just one success, and then I'll use that dark side to get an advantage. Fuck what what is this robot's name? Maggrova? Yeah. Hell yeah, Mia Maggrova, we got this shit on the lock, baby. Hi five, dude. I know your arms are real little, but reach up!

SPEAKER_02 1:00:41

Yeah, he's just got these like little, like very, very vestigial manipulator arms that you can hide to him with. He's he's only got a couple of. Yeah, I'll reach down and squish.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:50

Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:54

Oh my god, stomp rock into smaller rock sounds fun. Are there any more big rocks left when you stomp into smaller rocks? Oh my god, let's just stomp some rocks now!

SPEAKER_02 1:01:01

You can you can stomp some rocks into smaller rocks. Big enough to be threatening, small enough to cover a wide area for any incoming ships.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:10

I'm just making a best friend now. Big dinosaur.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:14

People let me tell you about my best friend.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:18

As you're as you're having fun, uh, Magroba says, Vanry friend me, Magroba!

SPEAKER_08 1:01:23

Oh my god, Vanry friend you mgroba! Magroba, friend you vanry! Truly? Yeah! Oh my god, hugs!

SPEAKER_02 1:01:30

Can I can I give him a hug? You can give him a hug, and as you give him a hug, he whispers to you, I'm smarter than they think.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:38

We can take this vessel.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:40

Oh my god, I'm probably smarter than everyone thinks, too. They think that I only have one intellect, but I have two.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:51

Chalk is a pacifist coward.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:53

Oh my god, like what do you wanna do? What do you want to do to Chalk? Magrova.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:56

When the fighting starts, we take him out.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:59

Like for dinner or something.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:01

Now we eliminate him and take the eternal spark for ourselves.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:05

Oh my god, what do you want to do with the eternal spark? We could become more powerful than they could possibly imagine. Like both of us? I don't even know if it does anything for me. So I'm all like meaty and shit. That is okay. I'm very meaty, do you see my ass? You are Magrova's friend. I'm Magrova's friend.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:23

Oh my god, that sounds like okay, but like what would you do with the spark if you had it?

SPEAKER_09 1:02:27

Magrova. As friends, like friend to friend.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:30

I would become the strongest there is.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:32

You're already the strongest there is.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:34

Look at you. How come you're fine with this guy, but not Sparky?

SPEAKER_08 1:02:43

Uh Sparky wasn't big and strong and cool, and he didn't lull me into a false sense of security before revealing himself as a gross little guy. This is a gross big guy. Sparky's a gross little guy.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:56

Get it right.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:58

I'm sorry that someone understands me better than you, Meyer.

SPEAKER_11 1:03:03

Oh my god, this really is the last episode. We're all gonna fucking fight each other.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:08

Meyer, I'm just joking. You didn't hear that. I was only thinking it in my brain, but then I immediately added, just kidding to myself.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:14

This is why I have to fuck the robot.

SPEAKER_12 1:03:16

This whole this whole time we thought it was gonna be the death of the group, but it's the death of the group.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:23

Oh no.

SPEAKER_12 1:03:26

Like like uh like Journey says, we're going our separate ways.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:30

Okay, but Maggrova, if you're the strongest there is, what will you do? What will you do, Maggrova? And I'll pull back and put a hand on either side of his massive dinosaur snoot. What will you do?

SPEAKER_11 1:03:42

I love how you say snoot.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:46

We all snout. My crew and I will prove our strength across the cosmos.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:51

So, like marauding?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:53

We will maraud, we will pillage and plunder, we will raise worlds to the ground until all understand that Makrova powerful.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:02

Oh my god, Macrova is so powerful. I do have a history of pirating. So it would not be uh super new. If there were like cool pirate chat treasure maps and stuff, would it be okay to follow them? I love doing a little treasure hunt sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:15

Wealth and power are cousins.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:17

Yeah. Just like we're cousins now. Cousins from another dozens. Right?

SPEAKER_11 1:04:25

Well. I I feel some like secondhand cringe from like several rooms away.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:31

You're just like, oh, what'd she say?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:34

Oh, what just happened? Oh god. You will make a fine apprentice for Magrova.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:41

Apprentice, that's starting to sound familiar. You know what? Yeah, Magrova.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:44

Okay, like we're Magrova friends. Okay, I have to go find the rest of my friends now. My other friends. Not like, obviously, you and I are besties, but like, you know, the people I came here with. My friend Gran Ree Magrova looked forward to smashing rocks. Bye, Magrova, smash more rocks later. I have radio everyone just like, I think that dinosaur is evil. My best friend, but also Just keep an eye out on that guy. My what's that noise?

SPEAKER_06 1:05:15

I'm not on comms right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:18

Why isn't she on comms?

SPEAKER_06 1:05:19

I have two intellect, I can turn them off.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:24

So, uh Rhombius, as is they're all as everyone else is making friends with uh various shard droids. Whatever that means to them, uh, you can follow the directions into the the core of the ship. And it's like this series of walkways and pathways and these rickety bridges with no railings. And you can see kind of like a pacing along the pipes that are running through the ship over the enormous fusion core reactor engine. And it's kind of like Dark in there, except for the sort of pulsing of this engine. But you can you can hear like the rhythmic tapping of this violet, like he seems to have painted himself and kept himself up. This violet droid in the shiny metallic paint. He seems to almost be like meditatively pacing. And you're you're a smart guy. Why don't you roll me a uh three purple knowledge education?

SPEAKER_12 1:06:27

Knowledge education. Alright, three purple, five green, and two success, one advantage.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:35

So you can see that as he's walking, he's walking in a very kind of peculiar pattern. Like, not arrhythmic, but like it's eventually you you kind of catch on that it is it's a tap code. And as you're watching him like tap coding, like walking on this pipe, then you notice that the flares of the engine core are responding in the same code. So he is like having a conversation with the ship.

SPEAKER_11 1:07:10

It's rad as hell, honestly.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:12

That's quite a figure out what he's saying.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:15

Uh did you get advantage on that?

SPEAKER_12 1:07:17

Uh did I? Let me double check here. Uh C6 has one advantage, yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:21

So it seems that what what he's saying, he's trying to like reassure the ship that like the people who have come aboard are trying to help, and that the modifications they're making to his body, he and he is using like a pronoun there for the ship, that the the modifications they're making to his body will be beneficial and to sort of let them do it.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:44

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:45

But then he notices you and he turns to you, and he says, Chalk foretold of your arrival. Of course.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:54

I'm very important.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:56

You are the Magus who has come to help me decipher what can be done about this artifact.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:02

Yes. I will put all of my brain power into it. My years of experience.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:08

Good. We need experience on this ship. There are too many young critters aboard who see themselves as heroes and would-be conquerors.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:18

Oh, I've had problems with ship critters before. Shit critters, Julian.

SPEAKER_10 1:08:24

Are you talking about us?

SPEAKER_12 1:08:28

I consider you all crazy critters.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:31

Oh, you wacky critters.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:32

Oh, you can't. Anything that doesn't have a lifespan like mine is just like a pet.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:37

It's like Han and Chewy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:40

Yeah. Oh.

SPEAKER_11 1:08:41

You're not the first Han. Chewy. Chewy lived longer. Does that mean Han was the pet? Oh no.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:48

Let us check out this uh art effect.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:50

He sort of drops down from the pipe and he says, May I see the thing?

SPEAKER_12 1:08:56

Uh I'm gonna have to do a uh some sort of checking out his intentions kind of thing here. What would this be?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:05

So this guy, like, he has uh so this would probably be against his cool potentially.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:10

Oh, I also have nobody's fool.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:12

Or his yeah, if you want uh him to make an incoming roll against you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:18

Yeah. I have two levels, nobody's fool.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:21

So he's he's fairly cunning, but he doesn't like at least the vibe you get is that he's kind of straightforward and he doesn't seem like the guy who's gonna lie unless it's really, really important. Uh so what is your rolling against?

SPEAKER_12 1:09:32

Um, it's a good question. What what skill does it?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:34

Yeah, this would be against your uh discipline.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:38

Discipline. How to be discipline. Uh three green and a yellow.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:43

Okay. So it would be three purple and a red. And nobody's fool.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:48

And upgraded?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:49

Two ranks. Two ranks. Okay, so that upgrades it twice.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:53

This Rombius is also smarter than the other.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:55

So if he were lying to you, he would have gotten three threats. Because he would have gotten those three threats, you can see that this guy is like not lying to you. This is the guy that like the captain trusts. This is in the past you may have heard of uh a clandestine or at least a very obscure group of shard called the Iron Knights, which were Jedi. You can see his violet armor uh was painted over. Uh, if there were any emblems on there, they have long been worn away. But on his thigh, you can see that there is a gap uh that is just the right size to have once held a lightsaber. So he may have been one of these Iron Knights in the past. So if you if you if you trust somebody who was a Jedi, he's probably trustworthy.

SPEAKER_12 1:10:50

Uh, but if you don't trust someone who was a Jedi, then uh I'm gonna I'm gonna let him take a look at it, but I'm keeping an eye on him. I want it back.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:00

Do you trust a guy with a thigh gap?

SPEAKER_12 1:11:02

The fuck?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:03

He's got a gap in his thigh gap.

unknown 1:11:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:07

So you can reveal the artifact, and he kind of bends down, he bends at the waist to take a look at it, and he presses like between his nose. And this thing is like uh like a sphere, like a copper sphere that's sort of open on one end, and inside it is lined with these glowing kyber crystals. And maybe it's because the glow is bright, maybe for some other reasons, but he just kind of presses like between his eyes where his nose should be, and they kind of like these little like almost like s like round sunglasses drop over them. Nice. Because he doesn't want to stare directly at it, and he says, It is best to observe such power with a veil so as not to be drawn by it. Should we have safety equipment? Yes. I should get some safety equipment.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:56

Where's our PPE?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:58

Well, we know where somebody's PPE is.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:02

Hey, I'm the only one with a suit of armor that can uh is fucking space tight or whatever. I'm space tight.

SPEAKER_11 1:12:10

Oh boy. Wait, hell yeah!

SPEAKER_08 1:12:14

Space toight!

SPEAKER_02 1:12:16

Space toit? Oh god. Oh god. And he looks at it and he says destroying the thing would destroy us all. It would be a quick way to resolve the issue, but I do not think that any of us are looking forward to death on this day.

SPEAKER_12 1:12:36

Uh are you rhombius? And I mean, no, nothing. Okay, you're right. Yeah, yeah, we should stay we should we should fix, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 1:12:46

You're like, I'm getting old, let's bring this motherfucker down.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:49

I'm taking y'all with me.

SPEAKER_12 1:12:51

Taking y'all with me. Uh let's get it done.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:53

So if you want to uh try and figure this out with him, uh this one would be a probably a knowledge lore.

SPEAKER_12 1:13:01

That's where I'm a Viking.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:03

Depending on how much, if you want to choose how much to roll against, you can, like the others. Uh, and that'll kind of determine how much you can sort of glean about this thing, and that'll maybe open up more options or more information about this. So how how in depth do you want to try and delve for this thing?

SPEAKER_12 1:13:25

It's a good question. I do want to get to the point where I can have some blacks so I can take them off, because I can take off two blacks for a lore check.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:31

Uh well, yeah, because you you do kind of know a lot so far, so I don't think there will be any blacks at this point, but if you want to add your force onto this, because this is kind of a force.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:13:41

Okay. Yeah, the dice spread is good. So I have three yellows, two greens, um, no blues, but uh, and then the force rating of three. So I'm trying to decide between three or four.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:55

Do four, you baby. Four? Yeah, five five is the max. Five would kind of if you get that, then you will know everything there is to know about this thing.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:05

I might have to try five then. Suppose I could channel agony to get a better uh roll, right? For my uh force?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:11

Yeah, you could.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:13

Secret lore. Oh, that's just removing the uh reduce the difficulty of all n knowledge lore checks by one.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:20

Oh, yeah, that would you it would still be a five purple result, but you could knock that down to four.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:26

Okay. That is all. Alright, I'll do that, and I'll also uh channel some agony to make my uh results of my force better.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:34

I do love that idea that this like robot guy is just like, what do you think of the artifact? You're like, let me see, and then you just cut your wrists open, because like this also.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:45

You need to punch me as hard as you can.

SPEAKER_11 1:14:49

Quick, kick me in the junk. Come on, man, kick me in the junk.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:53

I know, I know.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:57

I'll do the same thing I did last time and become like uh creepy ghost. Uh, one success with triumph. Four advantages, four dark side. Okay. Can you uh all those dark side? What should I do with all that dark, all that dark side?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:14

I mean, I think it's it's already pretty good with the success in Triumph. So you can uh reach into the force as you're handling this thing with uh A3 kind of giving you advice on how to manipulate this item. And as you're delving into it with the force, like kind of exploring its circuitry and the crystals inside and the alignment and kind of plunging into your memory and all of the knowledge you've accumulated about uh J O crystals and like any kind of thing you can remember about these types of artifacts. There's like something almost like an eye floaty of the mind. Like a like there's a splinter in your mind's eye that keeps like darting around, and it's hard to focus on, but eventually you can, and you realize that there is a consciousness inside the artifact that is trying not to be found.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:17

Ooh. Call it a bitch. Yeah, I was gonna say, there's a bitch in here!

SPEAKER_02 1:16:22

You punk, you punk ass bitch. So so this thing, this like it's it's a blotch on the energy of this thing. The artifact itself is almost it's basically like a supercharged battery almost. Um and it has the ability to network machines together and kind of gather all of their knowledge and wisdom into one place if used correctly, but there's something in here that's corrupting it, like a like a little scourgy entity. So if you can clean that out, then if you trust any of these shard to wield this thing, it could greatly improve your chances. It could make all the allied shards more effective. If you want to give it to Chalk, he would probably be a more effective leader if you trust him. But that power is not unique to droids. That power is what Set was after. Uh you, Ranabar, you're a leader. You would have to get rid of this A3 character, but like if you could out if you could rip this scourge out of the Spark Eternal, then you could harness its power, and you could control the Shard. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_12 1:17:43

Hmm.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:44

What do you do, Rombius?

SPEAKER_12 1:17:46

That's a good question.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:48

Are you gonna become a god king?

SPEAKER_12 1:17:50

I mean, only one person can control it, right? Like, it's not like I can share it with the group. You know, it's not like it's a the we can be a democratic leader of the shards.

SPEAKER_08 1:18:02

It's true. It's always doomed to be a dictatorship. I'm not saying this in Vanry voice. Vanry that you're doing this.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:10

It's an interface between man and machine, so it's like theoretically, if you had it, uh they would your friends would listen to you too.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:19

Oh I am the boss of the universe.

SPEAKER_12 1:18:25

Interesting.

SPEAKER_08 1:18:27

You could control us all, Rhombius.

SPEAKER_12 1:18:30

It's hard, but I I did see what happened to Seth though.

SPEAKER_08 1:18:34

You didn't see what happened to Seth.

SPEAKER_12 1:18:35

But Seth may just be trying to confuse me.

SPEAKER_08 1:18:39

It's true. But Set only wanted to have it. He he was only he coveted it, but you it's within your reach.

SPEAKER_12 1:18:47

He was a punk ass bitch.

SPEAKER_08 1:18:49

He was a punk ass bitch, and you are rhombious. You're rhombus.

SPEAKER_11 1:18:52

It's rhombed time. If if the if there's anything about rhombius is that he is not a punk ass power.

SPEAKER_12 1:18:58

So if I tried that, he would this A3 would stop me.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:01

Well, A3, he's like looking at this thing with you, and he is like turning through his own data paths, and he says, Well, Count, have you discovered anything about this thing that could help us?

SPEAKER_12 1:19:14

It's eluding me. It's i I'm clear like I'm close to it, but uh I have to I have to do some research on this, perhaps privately.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:23

Of course, time is of the essence. And he turns his back to you as he begins pacing to check his data paths.

SPEAKER_12 1:19:31

I could I could just take over. You could it There's no way this could backfire me in any way possible.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:39

We're being tempted by all of our favorite things. Big brawny guy. Control over the universe, a hot robot.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:48

A friend.

SPEAKER_08 1:19:50

A friend. Someone being nice to you for a change.

SPEAKER_12 1:19:54

I become mecha. Mecha romp. Mechbius. Rambius, but it's like R-A-M in capitals.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:04

Rambius!

SPEAKER_02 1:20:06

You can randomly access people's memories.

unknown 1:20:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:10

The force power. Unlimited power! Hmm. I might just have to I just might just have to do that while he has his back to me.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:20

Ooh.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:21

No one will notice, right?

SPEAKER_08 1:20:23

It's probably a bad idea, but I love it.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:25

It's probably a bad idea.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:28

Vanry will not endorse this. Sarah says do it. Sarah says do it. Vanry wants no part of this. Do it, Mike, do it.

SPEAKER_11 1:20:38

I'm so conflicted. Two people with the same voice are telling me different things.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:44

Yeah. I have two different Vanry sitting on my shoulder. What's going on?

SPEAKER_08 1:20:49

There's only one Vanry. Vanry would not endorse this, but I, on the other hand.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:54

Chaos Gremlins endorse this. I am going to leave it up to the Magic 8 Ball app. Ooh. This is usually reserved for whether or not I call in sick.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:11

Oh my god, your boss is the listener of our show.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:16

If you want to roll, if you want to keep it in-game, rolling your discipline against whatever your discipline is.

SPEAKER_11 1:21:23

Oh. So you're just so uh uh like if you have the discipline to not try to take over everything.

SPEAKER_12 1:21:31

Rhombius make a golem check.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:35

So uh what is your discipline?

SPEAKER_12 1:21:37

Uh but I'm also nobody's fool.

unknown 1:21:41

Even your own.

SPEAKER_12 1:21:42

I'm not- I'm not my own fool. I'm not the Spark's fool.

SPEAKER_08 1:21:45

Uh discipline is I'm not afraid anymore.

SPEAKER_12 1:21:48

Three green and one yellow.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:50

Okay, so that'll be against three purple and a red.

SPEAKER_12 1:21:52

Okay. I don't even know what results I'm supposed to get. Uh two success, one threat.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:01

So, uh you succeeded, but you got that threat. So you could resist this. It is within your power to resist this. But because you got that threat, do you really want to?

SPEAKER_12 1:22:16

It's inconclusive.

unknown 1:22:17

Do it, buddy, do it, do it, do it.

SPEAKER_11 1:22:19

Get out that magic eight ball.

SPEAKER_12 1:22:22

Fu okay. I already had it open.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:25

Yeah, if you're leaving it up to the magic eight ball, that's entirely within your power now.

SPEAKER_12 1:22:31

Signs point to yes. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:34

You gonna do it?

SPEAKER_12 1:22:36

Written in the star wars. I will uh I will tap into this thing's power and become its master.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:43

Okay, so what do you want to do first? Do you want to uh exercise the shard, or do you want to get rid of A3 so you can wrestle with this thing with impunity?

SPEAKER_12 1:22:52

You think he would interrupt me if I was to take this?

SPEAKER_02 1:22:55

Well he might be like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_08 1:22:58

What's going on there?

SPEAKER_12 1:23:00

This is I could like off-switch him, do you think? Um I guess I can't do influence on them.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:05

Uh no, but he is a living being, you can use the harm power.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:08

Yeah. I you could do influence on him if you were just like, go away for a few minutes. Yeah, go jump off a bridge.

SPEAKER_12 1:23:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:14

There are many invaders.

SPEAKER_12 1:23:15

I I I are I was I was already saying, like, I need some time with it alone to study it properly. With my entrancing gaze.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:23

He's like across the room alone.

SPEAKER_12 1:23:26

Oh. So he won't notice me. I mean if he Then he already knows I'm fiddling with it.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:31

It's true.

SPEAKER_12 1:23:32

Yeah, I'll I'll I'll act inconspicuous while I fiddle with it. Okay, so uh crack open its sweeter core.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:39

Oh fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:23:40

It's better not awaken anything in me. I mean it already has.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:44

Yeah, the thing is it's been awoken is evil.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:46

I mean, that's already evil. So this thing, yeah, this thing is a pretty pretty strong. So this is gonna be um mind versus mind. So it'll be discipline uh against like like a force power discipline. Uh so you can roll your force onto that. You're essentially just trying to eradicate this thing either with some combination of harm and influence to to wipe this thing out. Uh so this is gonna be against gonna give you a destiny point, a red and four purples discipline. You can use your force, and uh however many pips you spend, you can uh use those to add success or advantage.

SPEAKER_12 1:24:30

Red and four purple. Okay. I'm also going to do uh channel anguish again? Yeah, you can channel agony. Oh, I still take it too, because I'll I'll uh use a destiny point. So two yellow, two green against four purple, a red. One triumph, two success, uh three threats, two dark side, four light side.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:54

Hmm. So you could use those uh light side to bring that down to one threat. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 1:24:59

But you can't What's the worst that could happen with that one threat?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:02

So you can struggle with this scourge inside the crystal, inside this artifact. Whatever entity this is, if it was planted there, if it was if it just found its way there, if it was from the Abominor, if it was from the Order of the Terrible Glare, if it was like some Sith thing that went in there, uh, it does not have the wherewithal to tell you because it does not have the wherewithal to stand against you. Uh and with like with your mind, you can just lick your thumb and just wipe it clean off of the soul of this artifact. It was never even there. It's gone.

SPEAKER_08 1:25:40

There's a little squeaky sound.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:44

That's like a Stephen King uh description there. And as you've purified this thing, there is like almost like an electric shock to your heart a little bit as you feel like the buzzing of energy from this thing uncorrupted. And your threat is that A3, like, he notices this and he turns around and he says, What did what did you do? I was just cleaning it, then they went off.

SPEAKER_11 1:26:09

You're fucking defending yourself now. You're not gonna say something cool like it's mine now, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:18

Nah, I'm just uh something about it appears different.

SPEAKER_12 1:26:21

Well, aren't we all a little bit different? Then you shoot him in the face. I don't need to do that.

SPEAKER_08 1:26:28

I could just uh You just gotta absorb this and then you can control him.

SPEAKER_12 1:26:33

We all go a little mad sometimes. What what what has been since episode one of his character? What has been the number one thing Morbius Rhombius loves doing? Eating people. Absorbing power. There we go, that works. Taking the power out of things and using it for himself. It's always on breakfast.

SPEAKER_08 1:26:57

It's rhombin time!

SPEAKER_02 1:27:01

As you're holding this thing in your hands, grasping it by the two handles on on the side, you have um like a power that like while you're holding this and using this, um you will have the combined force rating of everybody in the room up to the game's maximum, which is eight.

SPEAKER_11 1:27:23

Oh that'll be helpful.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:26

Shit! So uh this guy A3, he's got a force rating of two. So if you want to dominate him, uh that's what I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:37

Hey, that's what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_12 1:27:45

Oh boy. Alright, I will uh yeah, I will uh make him my fourth slave.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:54

Make him your thrall, okay.

SPEAKER_12 1:27:56

Yeah. Come on, Ding Thrall is pretty good.

SPEAKER_11 1:27:58

Come on, it's not a bad. Life. Yeah. If you don't weaken.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:03

So uh it's a re range one, it's not from Thrallmart.

SPEAKER_12 1:28:07

I give I give you so much, in so much in exchange that you did not know, betray me. I specifically ask you not to betray me.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:16

So what what uh how are what are you using to make him your thrall? Is it are you just overpowering him with your will? Are you charming him into it? Are you coercing him? Sure. I will choose a charming. Okay. I'm a charming guy. So uh this will be against uh a red and a purple with your force, so you can add two onto whatever your force rating is.

SPEAKER_12 1:28:39

Uh two success, one threat, one dark side, nine light side.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:44

Interesting.

SPEAKER_12 1:28:45

The light. Do you want to do that?

SPEAKER_08 1:28:47

Charm him with what a good boy you are. Um that'd be helpful, right?

SPEAKER_11 1:28:53

I mean, it would be helpful.

SPEAKER_08 1:28:55

Listen, I'm so trustworthy! Of course you should be my thrall. I'm such a good boy.

SPEAKER_12 1:29:00

Yeah. Yeah. Don't you want don't you want to follow someone who doesn't suck? Okay, so that'll uh be uh destiny.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:10

How many um how many points are you using?

SPEAKER_12 1:29:14

Uh what do you mean? Oh, like um how many how many? How many do I need to do? Uh I have nine.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:21

What kind of duration upgrades do you have on your influence power?

SPEAKER_12 1:29:24

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. For my influence. Uh let me take a look for duration. I don't seem like I have any duration upgrades.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:30

Uh since you're channeling it through this thing, um so it's normally a number of rounds or a number of minutes. Um, but if you want to use you said you got nine lights. If you want to use all of them, then he can stay your thrall for the rest of the session, but you will have to take nine points of strain.

SPEAKER_08 1:29:48

How much strain do you have?

SPEAKER_12 1:29:50

I have I have good strain, but I've already taken a bunch to the uh I think like two points already. Uh oh no, I guess it'd be four because I tried it twice.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:59

Um strain is fifteen. Yeah, so that would put you uh at 13. If you want to uh roll discipline or cool to recover strain, you can.

SPEAKER_12 1:30:09

I will. I will uh roll discipline to recover cooler. Okay, so that brings you up to discipline to recover strain. So what's the roll what's the roll?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:17

Uh so that would it's just uh blank. It's just kind of against nothing. Oh, and you recover one per success.

SPEAKER_12 1:30:25

Two success, four advantage.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:27

Heal uh two more strain, so you're only at eleven. Uh dominating this guy is uh doable. He will remain under your command, and he uh doesn't even seem to notice that it's happening. Uh he just feels like you've uh banished something evil from this artifact, and he's willing to help you with whatever you need. I accomplished the task. Good job. High-five me. He high-fives you. It seems out of character for him when he does it.

SPEAKER_12 1:30:56

We're learning about each other. This is important, you and I. It is. Is there anything you would like to know about me? Just not really. I will sit now. I'll sit down and like Do we have like a chair I can sit down in here, like an armchair?

SPEAKER_02 1:31:10

No, there's no railings or anything in here.

SPEAKER_12 1:31:11

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:12

I am very tired. Tell me a story. He uh A long time ago. He starts rambling off. Tell me your tell me your tale.

SPEAKER_12 1:31:23

It all started when I was manufactured on a crazy December morning.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:27

Yeah, he was born in a cluster of quartz. So he's uh he's telling you the tale. Uh the rest of you have uh gotten everything all uh set up, uh, and your other activities are interrupted by the sound of the ship's alarm. And you hear Chalk's voice over the intercom and he says We've got incoming, everybody to your stations.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:54

What would my station be? I I moved all the rocks.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:57

I mean, he's probably more to his crew than you guys.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:59

Oh yeah, right, his crew. Them.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:03

Oh, other people who aren't the who aren't the universe of the universe.

SPEAKER_08 1:32:08

Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:10

So, um, first is gonna be the minefield. So, uh, Vanry, from your vantage point in the hangar, you can see a ship dropping out of hyperspace. It's far enough away that it's just like a a dark silhouette. You can't really make out what it is, but as it approaches the minefield that you've laid with the the big rocks, let's see how that ship handles it. It's rolling against five purple. Interesting. So, this thing, this ship, as it approaches the rocks, you can see like far away these boulder impacts as this vessel is getting pelted with the minefield that you've laid. And it starts like trying to drift a little bit. But as it's trying to drift, like it's going sideways. So when it brings its weapons to bear, uh, that is going to impose a black onto it.

SPEAKER_08 1:33:06

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:07

Uh, the point defense mining lasers on the ship begin firing at it. It's going to try and uh evade and blast back. So that is gonna be against uh Al's one red and three purple. And this thing is already in trouble, so it's using a destiny point as well to uh to upgrade his role.

SPEAKER_11 1:33:27

Fuck em up, fuck em up.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:29

Interesting, so the ion blasts from this ship go wide around uh the frigate as it tries in vain to attack, uh, but it cannot. It's clear that it's coming in and it is going to impact against the hull of the vessel. It's like coming right towards the hangar base. So let's see how the shields hold up. This is gonna be like you can see the engines flare to life and it begins ramming towards it. I guess whoever's driving this figures that uh might as well make a big impact.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:07

Guess that bitch is a little rusty.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:14

Gonna use a uh another destiny point here. The pilot is desperate. Ah, success. So the ship does like ram into the hangar bay. It the shields fail. Not due to any fault of Meyer necessarily, but just when you have a silhouette 5 ship ramming into something like this, the shields are gonna go down at some point.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:42

So it definitely wasn't because Meyer uh was distracted when she should have been fixing the shields.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:48

Well.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:51

So Vanry and everyone else who is in the hangar is jostled as the prow of this vessel crashes through into the hangar, throwing ships into disarray. All the vessels that are parked there go scrambling. Some of them get up and run away. Others are are thrown that aren't uh shard. The chrome cock is like slid across the floor and one of its like wings is bent, so it's like I mean, it's a good thing it's a spaceship and you don't need that, but like, uh, not great. And it slowly comes to rest as it kind of saws through, pushing through almost like a tin can the front of the ship. And Vanry, when it comes to rest, you are staring directly into the eyes of uh the masthead of the decorative figure mounted on the front of what at one point was called the slippery swallow.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:49

God damn it.

SPEAKER_08 1:35:51

Wait, wait.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:53

Honestly, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:35:55

So you just rip the head off the fucking off the little prow decoration?

SPEAKER_02 1:36:00

No, it is the slippery swallow. The fairwind has crashed in. This is not Rusty. This is Velsing.

SPEAKER_08 1:36:08

Velsing? Bitch, what? What is this bitch doing here? Velsang!

SPEAKER_02 1:36:13

You can see the uh the windows. The windows that remain smash open on the bridge, and you can see the ignition of a blue laser whip as she runs along the top of the hull of the ship screaming at you guys.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:32

Give me the artifact! Fuck yeah!

SPEAKER_02 1:36:37

So who all has returned to the hangar to see this?

SPEAKER_08 1:36:41

Because I would be in the hangar.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 1:36:43

I probably would too, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:36:44

Myra, you occupied still? Occupado. You're stumbling out of a broom closet trying to get your hair straight.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:52

I'm putting on my armor once I heard the uh alarm.

SPEAKER_12 1:36:57

I uh I guess that that puts an end to the tale I was listening to.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:00

Yeah. Sad. Yeah. Sad bananas. Stops regaling you. He was just uh telling you about there was this young, young shard that was tragically killed, and he kind of spent some time uh rebuilding a new body for him and almost like treated him like a son, and it all seemed very emotional, but uh there's shit going on. There are things happening. So uh the only ones in the hangar at this point would be Al and Vanry and Raven.

SPEAKER_08 1:37:27

Yeah, would Kirbin be here?

SPEAKER_02 1:37:28

Who the fuck is Gerbin?

SPEAKER_08 1:37:30

Or like a fucking uh Jedi Master. What the fuck was his name?

SPEAKER_02 1:37:34

Kirbin, oh yeah, Kur Kerbin is also there. Kerbin, Kirbin and Maz, uh, they have gone to the bridge with Chalk.

SPEAKER_08 1:37:42

Okay, so just me, Al, and Raven.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:45

Do you think Maz and Kirbin have explored each other's bodies? Oh no, he's of that fucking tree lady, whatever.

SPEAKER_08 1:37:51

I mean Maz and like texture to her face.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:56

Uh so Maz and Kerbin and Chalk are up on the bridge. Rhombius and uh Meyer are elsewhere on the ship, occupado. Al and Vanry are the only ones that are currently uh in the hangar.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:12

And Raven.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:13

And Raven.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:14

What do you say, Raven? You think the three of us can kill this bitch?

SPEAKER_09 1:38:16

That bitch? Yeah, that bitch. What? Why?

SPEAKER_02 1:38:20

We'll see.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:20

Oh my god, Raven. No self-confidence and I see, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:25

Not not in a sense of like that bitch, like, I'm scared, but in a sense of like, you're getting a feeling in like because like Raven hasn't interacted much with Velsing. Oh.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:35

That's true. Raven, is there something you're not telling us?

SPEAKER_02 1:38:38

I don't know. I'll have to uh I I don't know.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:40

Don't love that. Okay, what like it's like what is Velsing? She's just charging, is she charging to attack or uh with a whip? Yeah. Whatever. If she's gonna jump off the top of this ship and try to do a big cool landing, I'll just be ready and try to punch her in the gut as she comes down.

SPEAKER_11 1:38:57

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:58

I wanna wait till she does her big jump and then try to sidestep and punch up into her belly.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:03

As she leaps off of the ship, cracking her light whip. She's in midair. Time slows, giving you a little bit of time to to think and prepare.

SPEAKER_08 1:39:16

Okay. What would it be to time this properly?

SPEAKER_02 1:39:20

Uh, well, what what do you want to do? Is it a far strike? Is it a like you want to jump up and meet her in midair?

SPEAKER_08 1:39:27

Oh! Maybe I could jump up and meet her in midair and then do like a big hook, but then like pull her whole body around and then ride it back down and punch her into the ground. It would be so cool. I want to feel my actual physical fist digging into her stomach and just maybe maybe even going through on the on the down punch.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:47

So, uh, you don't have the uh enhanced power, so are you gonna wait until she's kind of within normal physical jumping distance? Sure. So then this would be uh just a straight brawl roll, then.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:02

Okay. I will take a strain to upgrade. Okay. What would that be for brawl?

SPEAKER_02 1:40:07

Uh so she's got four ranks of adversaries, that is going to be against two red, two purple, and a black.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:13

What do we have for Destiny?

SPEAKER_02 1:40:15

You have two.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:16

Uh you know what? I won't. Well, I got three failure, four advantage, three light side and a dark side. So I could I could technically flip a destiny point to take three strain. Yeah, I'll I'll do it so I get one success and four advantage.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:36

Okay. What is your crit on your unarmed, or do you want to use a different quality? Um because unarmed um you can you have also disorient and knockdown.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:46

Three for my crit. Three advantage?

SPEAKER_02 1:40:50

Yeah, because you could crit, overpower, and then crit again.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:55

Oh, I could crit overpower. Yeah, I'll crit. Let me roll my 100. 47. What is 47?

SPEAKER_02 1:41:01

That is a head ringer. Increases the difficulty of all intellect and cunning checks by one till the end of the encounter. Do you want to change that something?

SPEAKER_08 1:41:09

I'll change it and overpower her, yeah. Take my two strain. Because I gotta get the one hit going up, and then the second hit on the way down. That was two red, two purple, and a black for her?

SPEAKER_03 1:41:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:41:20

Okay. One failure, two advantage, two dark side and one light side. I can use those two dark side to get one success.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:31

Uh so with those two advantage, because it is an unarmed strike, if you want to trigger knockdown or uh disorient, you can. I'll trigger knockdown so she stays on the ground. Okay, so she'll have to use a uh a maneuver, a maneuver to get up if she wants, but you can. What do you what do you do? How do you uh double slam her?

SPEAKER_08 1:41:50

I I jump up and I punch up, and then I twist the body, and she's still on my fist, and then I shove her, like punch her down into the ground, and that's where she stays. That's where she stays. That's where she stays! Could I hop back from her though after I do that?

SPEAKER_02 1:42:05

Yeah, you can you can get get to a a safe distance. Uh she is next in the initiative order, so as as you do that, she uses her maneuver to get to get to her feet. And like slamming her into the ground like it did like break the skin and her face, like her lip is bleeding, making like she looks very flushed now, and she like wipes the blood from her lip, and she says, I can't believe a five like you got a hit on me.

SPEAKER_08 1:42:39

Wait! Oh are you Gethany? Whoa! Only one bitch has ever called me a five, and she was wrong then, and you're wrong now! I'm an eleven!

SPEAKER_06 1:42:53

Use your fat ass to push her out of the ship.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:56

You get the feeling that's what Raven meant by her.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:00

Raven, didn't you know this?

SPEAKER_02 1:43:01

Well, I didn't know she survived.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:03

Does she still look like Githony or is she body hopping too?

SPEAKER_02 1:43:07

Githony says, I learned a thing or two about a thing or two from Bane before he betrayed me.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:13

Oh my god. Raven, you taught her how to do that?

SPEAKER_02 1:43:16

We learned it together. We went to.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:19

It's not important right now, but even the point What's even the point of your whole life? There can only be two. If you're gonna teach someone else how to do it, oh my god, Raven, what the fuck? This is why you have so many other Sith running around.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:32

That was why I tried to kill her.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:34

Well, try better next time. Uh yes, next time is right now. Whatever, I'm not a five. You're a five, and I just punch you're bleeding from the face now, idiot.

SPEAKER_11 1:43:44

I I I this whole time during this real petty squabble, I'm just kinda uh just like, uh I ha I have my I have my gun trained on uh uh Githony, I guess. Uh being like, okay, so is it is i is this necessary? What uh is what I'm doing necessary?

SPEAKER_08 1:44:07

Like in general or right now? Uh both. I mean it's Githony. Fucking shoot her if you shoot her if you got 'em, but like, you know, the other the other option, I feel like that's an assessment of your life that you're gonna have to do it in your own time.

SPEAKER_11 1:44:20

Okay. I guess I just shoot her then.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:22

Well she's she gets to take her turn. She used her uh maneuver. She used her maneuver to stand up and insult me. Yeah. And she says, you know, uh, I'm gonna try this again. Maybe it'll stick this time. She's gonna use her move power on you, Vanry, to hurl you out the airlock, out of the hangar.

SPEAKER_08 1:44:42

Try it, bitch. It didn't work the last time either. How can I dodge the move power?

SPEAKER_02 1:44:46

The move power technically counts as a ranged uh attack sometimes. So if you want to dodge with this as well. Yeah, I'll dodge. So do you want to uh so she's using discipline. Do you want to treat this as her just doing an incoming attack so you can dodge, or do you want to do resist it with your mind?

SPEAKER_08 1:45:06

When you say my mind, do you mean my athletics?

SPEAKER_02 1:45:09

Um Yeah, you can either use your athletics to jump out of the way, your discipline to resist it, or just treat it as an incoming attack and hope your passive defenses take care of it. If you roll your athletics, uh, that won't count as being able to use your dodge.

SPEAKER_08 1:45:26

Um, I I'll do the athletics, because like I I don't know if I trust my dodge, and my discipline is not that good. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:35

What's your athletics?

SPEAKER_08 1:45:36

Uh two yellow, four green, and a blue. Don't suppose I could take a strain to upgrade that, could I?

SPEAKER_02 1:45:43

Um, no, you're low on destiny though, so I'll downgrade one of them. No! So, she gets five success, four threat, and three dark and one light.

SPEAKER_10 1:45:54

Bitch!

SPEAKER_02 1:45:56

So, uh, she you can feel yourself like first it starts in your tentacles. Your tentacles start floating up, and then the rest of you starts floating up.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:05

Is this bitch gonna throw me out the window by my hair?

SPEAKER_02 1:46:08

Yeah, and as you as you like whiz past her, you can hear her like muttering under her breath. I know you've been practicing your lung capacity. Oh dear.

SPEAKER_10 1:46:17

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:46:19

She thinks she thinks it's an own. She thinks she's calling you a skank, but she also doesn't maybe understand that you're amphibious.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:28

What does that mean? I yell as I'm flying out the airlock.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:33

You can shout anyway. Yeah, you can shout, what does that mean? And eventually, like your screams are cut off by the vacuum of space.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:40

Ah shit. So you Where's my dinosaur friend?

SPEAKER_02 1:46:44

So as as she throws you out, you start like bouncing along like the hull of the ship. So uh if you want to, you can uh try and grab onto the ship before you get hurled bodily into space.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:59

Yeah, I'll try to I will try to hang on to the ship, what would that be?

SPEAKER_02 1:47:03

Uh so this would be athletics.

SPEAKER_08 1:47:06

Okay, I can do that. Probably.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:09

Yeah, so she got uh five success on that. So every success beyond that initial success will uh account for the difficulty. Thought it'll be a four purple athletics.

SPEAKER_08 1:47:19

Ugh. I'll take a straight and upgrade.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:20

She also got she did get uh four thread on that as well, so you can add two blues because she accidentally threw you like right towards the bridge.

SPEAKER_08 1:47:29

Okay, cool. Da-da-da. One success, five advantage, two dark side and a light side. Could I use those two dark side to get more success? Maybe the more success, the uh the closer I will land to the bridge, so I can just crawl back in like a lizard.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:46

Yeah, you can you can uh grab onto part of the outside of the ship that's close enough where by the end of the round you'll be able to have crawled back in. Okay, cool. So, Al, uh, you want to try shooting her? Yes. Okay. So, uh, she would be at short range. You don't have to worry about hitting Vanry now. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 1:48:04

Have I arrived yet?

SPEAKER_02 1:48:05

Uh, you and Meyer, if you want to, you guys have to run so you can arrive uh probably at the end of the next round. Since it takes a bit of time to get from wherever you are.

SPEAKER_11 1:48:16

Just to get her to stop doing whatever the fuck she's doing here.

SPEAKER_08 1:48:19

Yeah. Unless Rhombius, you want to try to see if you can gather more thralls as you arrive, so you have a small army.

SPEAKER_12 1:48:26

Bring the thralls. Yeah, while I'm while I'm in away, I'm like, hey! Sending out feelers.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:31

Alright, what am I rolling against? Uh, so this is gonna start as one purple. She's got four ranks of adversary, so that'll be a red and three purple. She has ranged defense, so that will add a black.

SPEAKER_11 1:48:43

Motherfucker. Hmm. Uh a failure, two threats, and a triumph.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:49

So You can't hit her. That uh triumph, you can uh hit something else if you want to try and like blast something on the ceiling to maybe like try and fall on her, uh, or even like the the mast head of your ship if you want to blast that, disintegrate it so it falls on her. Or if you want to like any you could you could hit something else, you just can't hit her, but if there's something else you think could help. Um, uh can I You could probably blast the weapon out of her hand. Because she's still got her.

SPEAKER_11 1:49:21

Yeah, let's do let's let's do let's do that there, and let's give her a little bit less of a chance if we can.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_11 1:49:27

And I'll and and I'll s and I'll say, you better he better stop right away.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:33

So you can blast the weapon out of her hand. Uh it goes flying and deactivates. And uh as a nemesis, she gets two turns per round, so she says, Oh, that's what we're doing. And she's gonna try and yank yours out of your grip. I resist. Uh, do you just hold on to it, or is it uh are you using discipline? Um I'm seeing what's better here. Yeah, either athletic. Uh discipline, please. Okay, so that'll be her discipline versus yours. What is your discipline?

SPEAKER_11 1:50:10

That'll be a uh yellow and two green. So red, two purple.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:15

Three success, two threat, uh, four dark sides, and two triumphs. Fuck me! Well, see you guys. So, uh, she like pulls with the four. She got uh success two triumphs? So you've got your disruptor pistol, she yanks that out of your hand, and your shotgun goes flying from off your belt as well. Oh no! And they go you bitch. Sailing out into the void. Uh, she did get those two threat vanry. If you want to try and grab them, you can, but you wouldn't be able to do anything else uh on your turn at the top of the next round.

SPEAKER_08 1:50:53

You know what, Al? Just to prove what a good friend I am, I will try to grab them. Also because Al is fucking useless without his weapons, so we can get that back those back to him.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:04

You're not wrong. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:51:05

I know I'm not.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:06

A red and two purple. This is gonna they're small, so it's not gonna be a feat of strength. It's gonna be a feat of dexterity, so we'll call it coordination.

SPEAKER_08 1:51:14

Oh no. Oh no! You know what? I'll I'll I'll risk it. I'll take a strain and upgrade my role. Let's see. Uh, well, two threat, but two dark side and a light side. So I uh I could use the dark side to get one success and get rid of one of those threat at least.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:35

That's probably what I would do. So, uh, you still get got that threat. You can grab one of the guns.

SPEAKER_08 1:51:43

Al, which gun do you like better?

SPEAKER_11 1:51:45

I like I like the Doom gun.

SPEAKER_08 1:51:47

Be more specific. Is it the shotgun or the other one?

SPEAKER_02 1:51:50

The shotgun. I'll get the sh I'll grab the shotgun. Okay, you can uh grab his shotgun. His uh disruptor goes flying off into space.

SPEAKER_11 1:51:59

Bye, I love you.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:02

Uh, and that be you can crawl back in, but grabbing that was your action for this round. That's fine. Thanks. Can I can I crawl back in near the bridge so I can at least be like Kirbin? You can you can crawl back in, uh, alerting Kirbin and Maz and like everybody probably knows that a big ship crashed into the into the hangar, so they're all probably rushing back.

SPEAKER_08 1:52:27

Also, Valsing's a Sith Lord from a hundred years ago!

SPEAKER_12 1:52:31

Only a hundred I'm gonna be thralling my way up so if people are passing me and be like, hey! Want to come do something cool? I need your help. You will obey. Alright, so give me uh give me an influence power then. Yeah. So is that a six right now, or is there anybody else nearby that would have some Uh Right now it would be a six. Okay. Uh three dark sides, six light side. Why so much light?

SPEAKER_02 1:53:02

Are you are you gonna use the light?

SPEAKER_12 1:53:06

Yeah, yeah. Do I want to be loved or feared? Easy. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. So, um, how many magnitude upgrades do you have? Have not increased my uh number of people affected, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:23

Okay, so well while since you're holding this one, uh if you want to spend one uh force point per uh thrall, you can. Um so you've you have taken eleven points of strain, so you have like four will get you to your threshold.

SPEAKER_12 1:53:39

Hmm. How about three then? I need something to I need something to get my strain back. I guess if I kill somebody I can do that. But yeah, come along with me.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:50

Okay, so uh a minion group of three will tag along. Alright. That makes four minions now. Well, I mean, a A3 is more than a minion, but like they operate kind of as a minion group. He's a goon, but not a minion. He's a minion, but not an A3. It's three and A3, so it's like six.

SPEAKER_10 1:54:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:10

Alright. And my are you doing anything as your running back?

SPEAKER_06 1:54:13

No. No. You're not gonna bring your boy? Uh, then everyone'll know.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:20

I mean, he said he didn't want to get into a fight. Yeah. We just ran into each other on your pretty boy.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:25

Uh uh, I can pull out my sword. I don't know what else I can do.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:30

We can you can just get get ready. Uh, so since we were at the top of the round, Vanry did her thing. Now it would be Velsing slash Githony again. She doesn't know that uh Vanry is not dead. And she looks at you and she says, That new skin doesn't change what you are inside. Just an ugly little boy. What do you say we make the inside outside? So she's gonna move. She's gonna use her move power. I don't like this. And you can feel like pressure on your spine. She's gonna try and yank it out. Wait, whose spine? Als. Als? I don't I don't like that.

SPEAKER_12 1:55:15

This'd be a good thing for me to show up with my goons.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:18

Yeah, you will you will be able to at the end of the round, but uh. Oh.

SPEAKER_11 1:55:22

But uh my spine is currently in Githony's hands.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:26

Yeah, so how do you want to go green? How do you wanna try and uh if you wanna try and not get your spine yanked out? Stiffen your spine.

SPEAKER_11 1:55:37

Can can I appeal to her sexually?

SPEAKER_08 1:55:42

Oh my god, use your use your morph skin to make yourself look like her, so she's like, oh. Wait, who does she like you could look- Make yourself look like the original Githony, the modest Githony?

SPEAKER_11 1:55:53

You know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna see if I can do that. Like, I don't know if my discipline is gonna like work against hers.

SPEAKER_12 1:55:59

Even even just like buying some time would be helpful.

SPEAKER_11 1:56:02

She's like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm gonna turn it, I'm gonna turn into her and try try to do the uh the Jason Vorhey thing.

SPEAKER_12 1:56:11

This is I was about to say, this is exactly when Cory Feldman shaped his head to look like Jason.

SPEAKER_11 1:56:16

Yeah, yeah. Jason, I'm you. I'm you're me? I'm using I'm using movie logic, and not only movie logic, I'm using the stupidest fucking movie logic. Like, wait, why do you look like me? This is weird.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:30

And then he gets a hatchet to the head. Are you are you actually trying to make her believe this? Or is this a charm or a deception? Yeah. Uh the base role to activate your uh disguise system is a three purple deception. Like you're you're in a fight with her. She's trying to kill you, and also she like she knows she's seeing you do this, so it's mostly gonna be like a shock value thing to try and put her off her game. Uh if I if I can take it.

SPEAKER_08 1:57:04

Yeah, jump scarer.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:06

So instead of being against three purple, this is going to be against her discipline. Okay. So this is going to be against four red.

SPEAKER_11 1:57:17

I mean, it's better than discipline against discipline. Uh, not much better, but it's better. How many de uh uh uh uh uh uh destiny points we got? You got one. I'm gonna flip one. May reroll a deception check. Uh I'll probably be using that. Let's see.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:32

Uh you do have your unmatched tradecraft.

SPEAKER_11 1:57:35

That might be helpful. I don't know, let's see. Okay. Um rollin'. One advantage. Ooh. Actually, if I I'm gonna use the unmatched tradecraft to take away a red.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:49

Um, because how many dice can you remove on that?

SPEAKER_11 1:57:52

Uh three, I guess, so technically. I keep forgetting because I keep forgetting that's a thing. So I'm gonna take away this one, I'm gonna take away this one, I'm gonna take away this one, and it becomes one success and six advantages.

SPEAKER_08 1:58:05

Hell yeah!

SPEAKER_02 1:58:06

She's like, ah Yeah, so the little uh silver scales on your face flip and change, and they you resemble Githony as she was 132 years ago. And she sees herself for the first time in over a century, and the pressure on your spine uh releases, because you know, this is this is her, whatever you're presenting her with, it's not gonna put her off for a long time, but you can see that for somebody like her, seeing herself again, uh, her eyes do start to get wet.

SPEAKER_08 1:58:46

Oh I'm not awing, cause like fuck you.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:50

Uh so you got uh six advantages on that? Six six advantages. So the next person to act against her is gonna have three blues.

SPEAKER_12 1:59:03

Walking in with the Wendy Williams gif.

SPEAKER_08 1:59:07

Who would be able to get there? Because I I would have to come back down from the bridge. Uh it would be Meyer, Rombius, or Raven.

SPEAKER_12 1:59:14

Uh Meyer? What do you what do you think?

SPEAKER_06 1:59:17

Yeah, we'll let Raven take it.

SPEAKER_12 1:59:19

You got it or? Or did the Graven just take it?

SPEAKER_06 1:59:21

I don't want my spine ripped out.

SPEAKER_11 1:59:23

I I I think the one that could fuck her up the most is probably where we should go. She's currently distracted.

SPEAKER_12 1:59:28

Well, it might be the guy with however many, like, probably eight. I guess it would be absolutely eight. Uh force rate is a little bit more than a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:35

Yeah, now that you're in here with like Vanry and Raven and Githony, like Yeah, you're at max force now. You are at force.

SPEAKER_08 1:59:44

Oh god, it's glowing like that.

SPEAKER_12 1:59:47

Can there be like thunder and music when the door opens?

SPEAKER_02 1:59:50

Because everybody here is trained in the force and has powers, you have access to any power that anybody else has access to as long as you're in this room. Oh, that's helpful.

SPEAKER_08 1:59:59

Shit.

SPEAKER_12 1:59:59

Does that include like upgrades? Uh yeah. Well then maybe I should. Yeah, I can do that. Okay. I don't even know what that power is, but I'm gonna try it. Is that move? That is that would be the move power. Or should I just do should I do what brought me to the dance and do uh force harm power?

SPEAKER_02 2:00:17

Yeah, so you would have uh harm, you would have uh from Raven and probably Githony as well, you would have unleash if you want to. What's unleash?

SPEAKER_08 2:00:26

That is force lightning. Lightning thingies, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:29

Uh force force choke would be under uh bind.

SPEAKER_12 2:00:33

Ooh, yeah, I'm gonna do that.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:35

You gotta do force choke.

SPEAKER_12 2:00:36

Because we only got one person. Force lightning feels like it's more group crowd control.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:40

So uh this would be a bind power check, so roll your eight force die along with your discipline, adding three blues against four reds.

SPEAKER_12 2:00:50

Uh okay. Uh well, there's there's no failures, that's good. Obvious. Uh, one despair. Romus! Uh, three threats. Romious. Four dike side, six light side.

SPEAKER_08 2:01:02

You get some. Can you re-roll?

SPEAKER_12 2:01:04

I don't think I have one of those powers. Unless it's one of the powers I've absorbed in the room.

SPEAKER_08 2:01:10

Does anyone have a reroll for me?

SPEAKER_12 2:01:12

Maybe I should have just used uh I meant I mean harm. I use harm power.

SPEAKER_08 2:01:18

I changed my mind.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:20

So you can reach out with your enhanced darkness. And you can like squeeze her throat, preventing her. She's choking, she's gasping for air. And then it's weird because like you're you're only using four. You're doing enough to hurt her, but you're not like she seemed to be doing okay. She shouldn't be like dying yet. And as you're like crushing her throat, like your vision starts to get cloudy and it starts to like get hard for you to breathe. And then before you know it, you've swapped. She's in your body, and you're in her now she's a uh force.

SPEAKER_08 2:02:11

Oh no!

SPEAKER_12 2:02:12

We did a suitable flesh.

SPEAKER_08 2:02:15

Roman! Raven, you gotta kill her!

SPEAKER_02 2:02:18

Uh, Raven doesn't know this has happened, so she unclips the lightsaber from her belt that she took from Valserus that Al got. As far as she knows, Rhombius is holding her there with the bind power. I will drop that bind power immediately if I can. You can't, because she's in your body now. Oh, right, so she's still controlling it. Yeah, so and and Raven comes up to you in Velsing's body, and she says, I do this with love in my heart, so you can't jump into my body, you ugly bitch. It not is me, Rombius. So you're you're choking this out, uh, gasping and choking this out. Uh, so you're pretty close, so even though you're quiet, uh, you might be able to convince her. So this'll be a uh charm. Do I use her charm? Your charm.

SPEAKER_12 2:03:15

My charm, okay. Uh shit. Okay. Do I do I have to worry about like um strain at this point?

SPEAKER_02 2:03:25

Uh so no. You you've basically got her wound and strain thresholds now. Okay. Uh, which means that Rhombies' body has still taken 11 points of strain if anyone wants to knock that out.

SPEAKER_12 2:03:42

Alright. And I get to apparently I get to roll my force power.

SPEAKER_08 2:03:45

Why does that sword have a stun setting on it?

SPEAKER_02 2:03:48

Okay, so what's the charm what's the charm special? Uh so this will be, yeah, and you'll because this is your mind, any of the powers that you know you'll still get to get to use. Uh so this will be a charm. Uh against, I'll give you a destiny point back, a red and two purple. Uh, but because she does, she has no reason to believe this, you're coming off like just out of nowhere, you'll also have to add uh two blacks.

SPEAKER_12 2:04:11

Do I have anything that takes- Oh, I can take off one of those blacks. Does my do I still have my entrancing gaze?

SPEAKER_02 2:04:18

Uh no, that's an umbarn thing. You're a uh a stinky human. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 2:04:23

Uh yeah, well, uh, one success with triumph, one uh two threats for Dark Side.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:29

So uh you do get through, but because you are being choked, uh this body does continue to take uh some strain from the force power and a little bit of wound as well. We'll say two wound, two strain. But Raven does like look back at Velsing in your body, and she shouts to like she can see you, Vanry, crawling on the ship, and she can see Al, like, as Vanry is throwing the shotgun back to Al, Al pumping the shotgun and pointing it at Velsing's head. Raven says, Don't, she swapped, she swapped! Uh, okay. What do I do? Githanese in Rhombius now. So, Rhombius, do you mind if I blow your head off?

SPEAKER_12 2:05:18

Try Try just to knock me out.

SPEAKER_11 2:05:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_12 2:05:22

Shotgun stun settings.

SPEAKER_11 2:05:24

Uh I don't think so. It's got a cha it's got it's got a chain that I can maybe use to like choke her out. Uh can somebody else knock me out?

SPEAKER_02 2:05:33

Yeah, Meyer would be the closest. Has Raven gone yet?

SPEAKER_06 2:05:36

Can I?

SPEAKER_02 2:05:36

Yeah, Raven just tried to murder you. Oh, right. But didn't, but didn't.

SPEAKER_12 2:05:41

Does that still have an action then?

SPEAKER_02 2:05:42

Uh you could potentially pistol whip. Uh you could blast stun setting if you want.

SPEAKER_06 2:05:48

I guess.

SPEAKER_12 2:05:50

Just knock him over. He's an old tired old man.

SPEAKER_06 2:05:52

But I have more melee dice than uh.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:56

Yeah, well you could yeah, because you could like just hit with your pommel strike.

SPEAKER_06 2:06:01

With my sword?

SPEAKER_02 2:06:02

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:06:03

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:04

Just whack with like the back end.

unknown 2:06:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:07

The flat end.

SPEAKER_06 2:06:08

Yeah. With the pommel.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:10

So if you want to attack uh Rhombius' body, then uh Velsing's adversary would come into play. Rhombius' cloak does give her one point of melee defense. So this would start as two purple, four ranks of adversary brings it to two red, two purple, and a black.

SPEAKER_06 2:06:29

Oh, one triumph, two threats.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:31

Yeah, so you can knock that bitch out.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:33

Yay!

SPEAKER_06 2:06:35

Just run in the room and go, huh, huh? Clunk.

SPEAKER_08 2:06:41

Hell yeah, we got her!

SPEAKER_02 2:06:42

Really, like, really knocked out. You got those two threats, so it's like if you want to try and switch Rhombius back, uh, like it's you're gonna have to wake her up again. So it might be a little difficult.

SPEAKER_12 2:06:53

Let's restrain her first. Yeah, I guess.

SPEAKER_11 2:06:56

Well, we've gotta restrain both of you then.

SPEAKER_08 2:06:58

Yeah. Yeah. We gotta tie you up, Rhombias.

SPEAKER_12 2:07:01

Fair.

SPEAKER_08 2:07:01

Also, Meyer, why do you look so sweaty?

SPEAKER_06 2:07:04

How can you tell I'm wearing armor?

SPEAKER_02 2:07:06

Your beard mask is a sweaty person. It's like dripping out the out the bottom of the helmet.

SPEAKER_08 2:07:12

You have sweaty energy right now, Meyer.

SPEAKER_11 2:07:15

You're somehow like radiating through your costume or through your outfit.

SPEAKER_08 2:07:21

You smell like a roll of nickels, like more than usual.

SPEAKER_02 2:07:24

A roll of the nickels.

SPEAKER_06 2:07:28

Look, I always smell like that after I've eaten spaghetti.

SPEAKER_12 2:07:33

I don't like the idea of Meyer having two spaghetti dinners in one day.

SPEAKER_06 2:07:38

Buddy, we're on two where I eat spaghetti for every meal.

SPEAKER_02 2:07:42

And as uh Kirbin and Maz and Chalk come in, Chalk shouts, Status Report, what happened down here?

SPEAKER_11 2:07:49

Uh, well, uh, we had a little bit of an incident with an old friend.

SPEAKER_07 2:07:54

Uh oh my god, Maz, do you remember Githony? And Maz says, Do you ever meet Githony?

SPEAKER_02 2:07:59

Uh I have no idea who you're talking about. Whether or not she's lying, uh, depends on your memory.

SPEAKER_11 2:08:05

Can we roll? Can we roll our memory?

SPEAKER_08 2:08:08

Yeah, what'd be to remember that? I actually don't know if Maz ever met Githony. I mean, Maz is the captain of your ship. Well, yeah, but also like She kidnapped Maz. That's right. Can I give her a side eye?

SPEAKER_02 2:08:25

And Kerbin says, Velsing, you traitor!

SPEAKER_08 2:08:27

Oh, she was a Wait, no, no, no, not me.

SPEAKER_12 2:08:30

Not me. I don't know.

SPEAKER_08 2:08:31

Yeah, no, that's Rhombius right now.

SPEAKER_12 2:08:33

Uh it's Rombin time. See? I used to make a sense of.

SPEAKER_08 2:08:39

It's because Rhombius is in there. No offense, right, Rhombius?

SPEAKER_02 2:08:43

And Raven says. Because Raven has a reason to not want to have this explained. Everything's been taken care of.

SPEAKER_06 2:08:52

Who would tie the dots that quickly?

SPEAKER_02 2:08:55

And Raven says, it's true, we've subdued her, but we should kill her as soon as possible.

SPEAKER_06 2:09:01

Uh uh, Raven.

SPEAKER_11 2:09:03

You're you're not wrong, but we should probably swap back the bodies.

SPEAKER_08 2:09:07

Can I lean into Raven and just like, Raven, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 2:09:11

As you say swap back the bodies.

unknown 2:09:16

L.

SPEAKER_02 2:09:18

Uh, with four dark sides, you're finding it very hard to say anything. Very hard to breathe.

SPEAKER_11 2:09:24

You know what? I say it best when I say nothing at all.

SPEAKER_06 2:09:27

Raven, you're not being a girl's girl.

SPEAKER_09 2:09:29

Raven, what are you doing? You're gonna kill Rombius, Raven.

SPEAKER_08 2:09:33

Raven! Talking through my teeth, got my back to Kerbin and Maz just like, Raven, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_11 2:09:41

I'm just passed out standing up right now. I have to protect myself and the future.

unknown 2:09:46

Raven!

SPEAKER_02 2:09:47

You're no fan of the Jedi either. Let me do this and we'll be we'll be rid of them.

SPEAKER_10 2:09:53

Just let's just swap him back first.

SPEAKER_08 2:09:55

It's not the Jedi, it's Rombius and Al that you're like slowly killing. Like, I know I make fun of Al all the time, but like we shouldn't kill him.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:03

Then we kill Kerbin. Oh. Well, I mean Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:10:08

Well, I think we can.

SPEAKER_08 2:10:09

I mean, he's a like he's an old master, but he has an old, old man. He is quite old.

SPEAKER_02 2:10:14

It would mean turning the shard against us.

SPEAKER_06 2:10:16

Oh man.

SPEAKER_07 2:10:18

Hmm, that's true. Okay, I don't know if we can fight this entire ship. Raven, no one knows that your body has to be a ship.

SPEAKER_02 2:10:24

As you're thinking, you don't know whether you can fight the entire ship. Uh, your friend and a couple, like, about, you know, there's about five of his uh accomplices. I guess we could say. He can't wiggle his eyebrows because he doesn't really have eyebrows, but like, if he could, he would be like, no, no?

SPEAKER_08 2:10:50

Oh my god, I totally have a friend in the shard who would like totally help us out. Magrova, he's so cool. He's so good at crushing rocks.

SPEAKER_12 2:10:58

Is that all he can crush?

SPEAKER_08 2:10:59

I didn't have a chance to find out.

SPEAKER_09 2:11:01

As far as I know, that's what he crushes.

SPEAKER_11 2:11:03

Can somebody charm uh our way into like talking Raven out of what she's doing?

SPEAKER_08 2:11:09

Well, unless we just want to kill Kerbin and then help Maggrova take the ship.

SPEAKER_11 2:11:13

We could do that. If that's where we're at, then we may as well.

SPEAKER_08 2:11:16

Ugh, fuck this video.

SPEAKER_06 2:11:20

Yeah. And he can be a sexy lady.

SPEAKER_12 2:11:23

I have reasons to want that to bother you back. Important reasons. Personal reasons. That's where I left all my stuff.

SPEAKER_08 2:11:34

Okay, there's like at least uh like six of the shard who will help us out if we do this right then. Okay. Okay. Do I should have a chance to do that?

SPEAKER_06 2:11:40

What are you talking about over there?

SPEAKER_08 2:11:42

What? Nothing? Maya, this is a girl's talk. You'd totally be in here. Why haven't you been here? Get in here. We're gonna have to try to fucking kill Garmin.

SPEAKER_06 2:11:50

Shit. I have no opinions on this, positive or negative.

SPEAKER_08 2:11:56

I'm not a fucking Jedi, I don't give a shit. Me and my best friend not I mean, excluding you. Obviously you're my best friend. And like Raven, you're like best friend number two, but like best friend number three that I just met a little while ago. He and his friends are totally gonna help us out. Oh, do you want to let Al go? Fine. Do you want to stop murdering Al?

SPEAKER_02 2:12:15

She stops murdering Al.

SPEAKER_08 2:12:17

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:18

Oh fuck. German says, What are you muttering over there?

SPEAKER_08 2:12:24

Um Girl talk. Girl talk. Oh my god, we're talking about lady things. Oh god, are we gonna have to try to kill Maz? I hope Maz just uh rolls with it.

SPEAKER_11 2:12:34

Rolls with us trying to kill her?

SPEAKER_08 2:12:36

Well not try to kill her. We don't want to kill Maz.

SPEAKER_11 2:12:38

Oh, you mean uh uh with us trying to kill Kerbin?

SPEAKER_08 2:12:41

Do we want to get Maz in on this? I don't wanna have to kill Maz. It is girl talk. We can fight Maz over the girl talk and then just like turn around and it'll be like on Kerbin.

SPEAKER_02 2:12:49

I I feel like you're you're s you're stretching the amount of girl talk you'd be able to get away with.

SPEAKER_08 2:12:56

I could try. What'd it be to try?

SPEAKER_11 2:12:59

I I mean Rhombius is a girl my girl now too. What's happened? I blacked out.

SPEAKER_08 2:13:04

We're all girls now.

SPEAKER_11 2:13:07

I've always I've always been curious. Let's see how this goes. The field zone is female.

SPEAKER_08 2:13:12

What'd it be to try to get Mazin on the curl talk?

SPEAKER_02 2:13:16

Without Kerbin, I think I don't think you'd be able to. I think you'd just have to hope for the best. Hope that she uh knows which way the tides are flowing.

SPEAKER_12 2:13:24

Yeah, could we give her the nodes? What's the nod link? The the You know, the nodic nod.

SPEAKER_02 2:13:31

You know. You know, somebody's head opens up, a lightsaber pops out, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_12 2:13:35

Oh, just like the repeat it like the way that it was on the uh the classic nod.

SPEAKER_02 2:13:39

Everyone knows the nod.

SPEAKER_12 2:13:41

Oh I completely forgot that you were you that was the same scene. You're talking about Artu. I was like, someone's head opens up, what the So you're just gonna give her the the nod?

SPEAKER_02 2:13:52

Mm-hmm. Single uh tuba note plays. Hope sh hopefully she hears it.

SPEAKER_08 2:13:58

Can I uh we're already wanted criminals. Can I swivel around like real fast to face Kerbin and just be like, stop trying to listen in on girl talk and try to do a force strike on him?

SPEAKER_02 2:14:11

Uh sure.

SPEAKER_08 2:14:14

Is it stupid? Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 2:14:16

On Wednesdays we use Dark Side.

SPEAKER_02 2:14:24

We'll say yes.

SPEAKER_08 2:14:25

Okay, thank god. We had some girl talk to recuperate.

SPEAKER_02 2:14:28

Yeah, this this can count as a uh new encounter. Uh so it's got four ranks of adversary, got uh ranged defense. Um, so he's at short range, so that'll be a give you a destiny point. Two reds and two purples and two blacks.

SPEAKER_08 2:14:45

Two red, two purple, two black, and that's on Brawl. Okay, I'll take a strain to upgrade. And oh, you know what? How many destiny points do we have?

SPEAKER_03 2:14:56

We have two.

SPEAKER_08 2:14:57

I am going if we are going into this new encounter, baby, I'm doing deadly reputation as an incidental. So I I can spend two destiny points to activate it until the end of my next turn, except I have duration, so it's for two turns. The difficulty of all skill checks targeting all my allies, because I have deadly by association, increases by one. Oh no, I have two things for duration, so it lasts for three turns, and also I have a rank of add setback, so it's increased the difficulty and add black for everything targeting us. I'm flipping it. Because I assume he's gonna start targeting us. Unless he just lets us go, who knows? Kerb and uses LUT. Two success, one triumph, two dark side, and a light side. I'll uh I'll use one dark side to extend the range, and uh that triumph will be a crit, so I'll use the other dark side to increase to get another success to increase the damage.

SPEAKER_02 2:15:57

You can uh you can punch him, oofing him, you're critting him.

SPEAKER_08 2:16:02

Yeah, I'll crit him. I'll crit this bitch. Nine, fuck you. I'll take it, I'll take two strain to make it overpowered.

SPEAKER_02 2:16:09

Okay, roll it again.

SPEAKER_08 2:16:10

Two success for advantage, two dark side and a light side. I'll use the two dark side to get more success, so that's four success four advantage. That's enough to crit again. Oh wait, no, I'll use I I'll use Mother's Dark Side to extend the range again, so I'll be three success four advantage. And I'm rolling another crit. And you can add ten to this one. Hell yes. 109!

SPEAKER_02 2:16:32

Holy shit. Uh, roll me a d10.

SPEAKER_08 2:16:36

Seven.

SPEAKER_02 2:16:37

Uh, so how do you uh give him a horrific injury that lowers his agility until uh it's healed?

SPEAKER_08 2:16:45

Oh my god, could I punch one of his kneecaps off? Just like his lower leg on one side just flies off.

SPEAKER_02 2:16:52

Yeah, you can just do like a like a roundhouse punch, and there's like a pop as like his kneecap like strains against you can't see it because he's wearing robes, but his kneecap underneath is straining against the skin and just like ripping free, and you can see it go bouncing along the hangar floor. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 2:17:12

On bus, no cap.

unknown 2:17:16

Wow!

SPEAKER_02 2:17:17

And he falls to the ground screaming in agony, and he says, Chalk! There's Seth! And Chalk, who has gone over to Rhombius' old body and picked up the Spark Eternal.

SPEAKER_11 2:17:32

Fucking, if it's not one thing, then it's another, you know?

SPEAKER_12 2:17:36

I didn't know we could just do that. I thought it was in something inside of me.

SPEAKER_08 2:17:39

I thought you absorbed it.

SPEAKER_12 2:17:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 2:17:41

I kinda thought you did too. You're just hanging on to it.

SPEAKER_12 2:17:45

If I knew that, can I just grunt wrapped it?

SPEAKER_08 2:17:47

You just wrestle it back from him.

SPEAKER_02 2:17:49

Yeah. If you wanna run over and wrestle it back from him, you can't.

SPEAKER_12 2:17:52

I think that would have been one of the first things I would have done if I knew that it was like just a thing to grab. I've been spending this whole time waiting to go back into my body so I can get those powers again.

SPEAKER_08 2:18:00

Yeah, you'd be a hot lady forever.

SPEAKER_12 2:18:02

Yeah. Alright, let's go. Alright, so you wanna uh run over to it? We could have the Barbie ending, where Rhombius walks up and is like, I'd like to see my gynecologist.

SPEAKER_08 2:18:14

I am Kenough.

SPEAKER_12 2:18:16

Alright, alright. Um yeah, I oh shit. I guess running isn't my bit greater. Well, it maybe isn't this part of the case. Yeah, Velsing's body has three brawn. Oh fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_08 2:18:26

Slightly above average, hell yeah, baby.

SPEAKER_12 2:18:30

That's 50% increase.

SPEAKER_02 2:18:33

So, uh, that will be athletics versus athletics against chalk.

SPEAKER_12 2:18:38

Do we have any uh specializations?

SPEAKER_02 2:18:41

Um, I mean this is an unfamiliar body, so uh unless you've trained in anything that gives you athletics. But can I do can I now do sense advantage?

SPEAKER_12 2:18:51

Uh the two blacks used that before.

SPEAKER_02 2:18:55

Yeah, if you want him to roll against you.

SPEAKER_12 2:18:57

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 2:18:57

Roll to resist your Raslin.

SPEAKER_12 2:18:59

Two two blacks. Added to a very simple rule.

SPEAKER_02 2:19:03

Okay. And what is and your brawn is three?

SPEAKER_12 2:19:06

Yeah, I guess so.

SPEAKER_02 2:19:06

Uh so his body is a giant armed labor droid, so he's got seven brawn in three ranks of athletics. It's gonna get closer. Uh three successes and two advantage. So as you run over it and you try to grab hold of this before he can, like football, he just tucks it under his arm and just shoves you to the ground.

SPEAKER_08 2:19:28

Oh my god, what was my friend's name?

SPEAKER_02 2:19:30

How dare you push a woman?

SPEAKER_08 2:19:34

This is sexism!

SPEAKER_02 2:19:37

Uh, Vanry, do you want to signal your friends?

SPEAKER_08 2:19:40

Yeah, I'll signal my friends. Get him!

SPEAKER_02 2:19:43

So they run over, uh, and they're gonna try and uh dinopile, I guess, on top of chalk. Your leadership is gonna give them some help here.

SPEAKER_08 2:19:53

Oh no, my leadership?

SPEAKER_02 2:19:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 2:19:55

Can't Rombius lead them.

SPEAKER_02 2:19:57

They're your friends.

SPEAKER_08 2:19:59

Uh no. We have three presents. What's that gonna be for leadership?

SPEAKER_02 2:20:03

Uh, that'll be three purple.

SPEAKER_08 2:20:05

Three purple. I'll take a strain to upgrade. One success, or two success, one threat, two dark side, and a light side. I will use those two dark sides to turn that one threat into one advantage. So two success, one advantage.

SPEAKER_02 2:20:20

Okay. Dino's go! That is gonna help them out. They are also significantly large. Are they larger and more powerful uh then chalk? I guess we'll see. Seven success, one threat.

SPEAKER_08 2:20:36

Oh, could their threat be that they knock the spark away and then Rhombius can get it?

SPEAKER_02 2:20:40

Well, the threat is on you.

SPEAKER_08 2:20:42

No!

SPEAKER_02 2:20:43

Oh no. So they do get it. As Magrova picks it up, like they start, like, like ragdoll throwing chalk around. Uh one of one of them, like, he's like some sort of like drilling device. He's got like these three drilling horns on his face. He just starts like drifting into chalk's torso, exposing the fragile crystal within. And Magrova, he grabs the Spark Eternal in his mouth. And as he does, he's filled with this incredible power. And I don't know if he had this ability before, but now he certainly does. And he begins taking on a less awkward humanoid shape. Top heavy, big, powerful, humanoid robot. He seems to grow in size a couple of feet atop his head, is like he's grown this golden crown now.

SPEAKER_08 2:21:43

Does he get a cape? Does he get a Starscream cape?

SPEAKER_02 2:21:46

He doesn't he doesn't get a cape.

SPEAKER_08 2:21:48

Damn.

SPEAKER_02 2:21:49

But he does have this like golden crown that's protruding from this sort of like masked head. Uh, and he says, And he starts stomping everyone and anyone in the area. Wait, does that include us? You guys seem powerful as well. You have a lot of force to you when he says, Challenge!

SPEAKER_11 2:22:12

No, no, no, we go down real easily. We go down real easily.

SPEAKER_08 2:22:17

Well, you're not an allied character anymore. You are covered by my deadly reputation. There can only be one strongest!

SPEAKER_11 2:22:25

Alright, let's go, girls, and I cock my shotgun.

SPEAKER_02 2:22:32

As you cock your shotgun, uh, for the hockey game to begin, the red lights begin blaring, and you can hear beyond the edge of hearing in the void of space the pop, pop, pop, pop, pop of a fleet exiting hyperspace. Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_08 2:22:47

Okay, what if we all just get out of the hangar bay? We'll pick Maz up as we go, we get to the bridge of the ship, and then when these guys board, they'll just kill Magrova and all his boys, and then we figure it out from there.

SPEAKER_11 2:23:02

Fuck, this is not as sim What what went wrong? Jesus Oh yeah, it was Githony. Githony came here and everything went wrong.

SPEAKER_08 2:23:10

And then Raven's like, we can't talk about it. God, this is really Raven's fault.

SPEAKER_11 2:23:14

This is kind of Raven's fault. God, Raven. Raven, you're the fucking worst.

SPEAKER_08 2:23:19

Yeah, fuck. Raven, why do we uh why did we bring you here? I'm kidding, Raven, but still.

SPEAKER_02 2:23:25

Alright, I gotta get my hands on that thing though. That thing's powerful.

SPEAKER_08 2:23:28

Okay, like does he ha he has it in his mouth, right?

SPEAKER_02 2:23:32

Uh it's it's now like his chest has kind of grown over it a little bit. So he's like wearing it now as like an amulet.

SPEAKER_08 2:23:40

And how big is he?

SPEAKER_02 2:23:42

Uh he was pretty big already, large enough for you to ride. So he's probably like 15-20 feet.

SPEAKER_08 2:23:49

So now he's definitely too large for me to ride. That's tower talk right there. I was just like humanoid. Maybe he's more susceptible to uh susceptible to seduction now, but it's like, I don't think so. Nah.

SPEAKER_02 2:24:03

Do you guys just want to run?

SPEAKER_11 2:24:04

Should we run about this? We should probably run about this, honestly.

SPEAKER_08 2:24:07

Well, I don't know, unless Raven, you have something like you can rip that thing out of his chest from a distance, and then we can run about it.

SPEAKER_02 2:24:13

And then we'll get to the back. Look, he's empowered by it. If we all work together, I might be able to, but.

SPEAKER_08 2:24:19

Oh my god, okay. Fucking hell. We'll we'll distract him. You try to rip it out of his chest. How about that? Can you do a distance rep? Can you move?

SPEAKER_02 2:24:27

Yeah. So, uh, she starts concentrating. She's trying to rip this thing out of his chest, but it's force versus force. So, uh, he is gathering all of the force from everybody in the room. What are you guys doing to help?

SPEAKER_08 2:24:42

We Fahu Dorhe, can we give Raven our force? Rhombius and I.

SPEAKER_02 2:24:46

Okay, so uh Vanry and Rhombius, roll your available force.

SPEAKER_12 2:24:53

It's not six anymore, is it? No. Damn.

SPEAKER_08 2:24:56

Ooh, my available force. Well, I mean, I get my automatic force pips from not carrying shit.

SPEAKER_12 2:25:02

Two dark side, two light side.

SPEAKER_08 2:25:03

You know what? I will I'm gonna drop the four I'm gonna drop the commitment to my arm. So I at least have two to work with, so I'm I'm armless for a second.

SPEAKER_02 2:25:12

Three dark side and a light side. And Raven gets a light and six dark. Ooh. So Magrova gets seven light, five dark.

SPEAKER_12 2:25:23

Hmm. I always knew this trilogy would come down to our biggest nemesis, Magrova.

SPEAKER_08 2:25:29

Big dinosaur!

SPEAKER_02 2:25:32

You guys got uh fifteen force, and in total he got twelve. Oh. So you can rip this out of his chest. Oh gee. And it goes sliding across the floor. Uh, because you didn't beat him by that much, it is like not it's not flying into Raven's hands.

SPEAKER_08 2:25:56

Who is it closest to?

SPEAKER_02 2:25:57

It's it's skittering across the ground towards Maz and Kirbin. Maz, grab her, we gotta run! Maz grabs it and Kirbin says, Maz, the good of the galaxy. Give me that.

SPEAKER_08 2:26:11

Ugh. Oh, it says, What the fuck do you care about the good of the galaxy? Come on, Maz, we gotta live.

SPEAKER_02 2:26:16

So are you guys coercing her? Are you charming her?

SPEAKER_08 2:26:21

I mean, someone else should probably take the lead on this either way. Ooh, so entrancing.

SPEAKER_12 2:26:29

I guess now that I don't have the entrancing gaze, I will be using coercion a bit better. So I'll try that one.

SPEAKER_08 2:26:35

Oh yeah, that's right. You can't use your entrancing gaze.

SPEAKER_02 2:26:38

So I'll give you Destiny Point, because that's just gonna be against uh red and a purple. Oh, that's however, because this is a moral quandary for her, that is gonna add two blacks.

SPEAKER_12 2:26:46

Okay, well I can take I think both of those off, actually.

SPEAKER_02 2:26:50

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_12 2:26:51

And then I'm gonna add my uh force dice. Yeah, remove uh one black per rank of plausible liability, which is in fact two. Perfect. For success with triumph, one triumph, one advantage, two dark side, one light side.

SPEAKER_02 2:27:06

So Maz uh she looks at Kerbin and she says, I'm sorry, and she runs down the hall towards the bridge carrying the artifact.

SPEAKER_08 2:27:15

Hell yeah, we should scoop up Rhombius' body when we run.

SPEAKER_02 2:27:18

No.

SPEAKER_12 2:27:19

Now give it back.

SPEAKER_02 2:27:20

Give what the Yeah, Vanner, if you want to uh pick up Rombius' body, you can carry carry that up to the bridge. Yeah, I'll scoop Rhombius' body. Let's fucking go! And as you reach the the bridge of this enormous ship, you can see the fleet of yellow painted kessel vessels that are descending upon the ship. The guns are trying, they're using Al's firing solution to try and keep them at bay, but there are a lot of them. The minefield and the shields, unfortunately. Uh Githany slash Velsing messed that up. But you can see that apparently uh Rusty or Sparky or Rust Spark, or whatever he's calling himself now, seems to have caught the scent. Just causing a lot of problems. What do you think?

SPEAKER_08 2:28:08

Is there any way to like just blast us out of here?

SPEAKER_02 2:28:11

Uh the bridge does have some emergency escape pods, but you'll be launching straight into the Akadi's maelstrom.

SPEAKER_08 2:28:19

I mean they could be piloted, right? He wouldn't follow us there, right?

SPEAKER_02 2:28:24

It would be insane to follow you.

SPEAKER_08 2:28:27

Insanely cool to do it. Who's gonna- I mean, Al, you can like pilot us through the Akati's maelstrom, right? You're like the best pilot in the pet galaxy, right?

SPEAKER_11 2:28:37

I mean, I'll do what I can with what I got. I don't I don't know. Now that I'm a girl, I don't know if I can drive as well.

SPEAKER_08 2:28:44

Okay, I'm gonna slap you until your head points backwards, Jesus.

SPEAKER_02 2:28:48

I guess it is all girl talk now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 2:28:54

No, no, no. I I I I posed a genuine question and nobody told me the right answer. I was blacking out and I last time somebody blacked out, they changed sex, so I had I had to make sure it wouldn't be.

SPEAKER_08 2:29:08

What happens when you black out?

SPEAKER_11 2:29:10

I I just figured that was what was happening with everybody.

SPEAKER_08 2:29:14

Raven Maz, how are your respective piloting skills?

SPEAKER_02 2:29:17

Wha what what do you mean? Like for this thing? Uh I've never flown a ship this big before.

SPEAKER_08 2:29:23

Or if we launch an escape pod into the Acadies Maelstrom.

SPEAKER_02 2:29:26

Oh fuck no. I'm not going into doing that.

SPEAKER_08 2:29:29

Okay, well, you know what? What if okay, what about this thing? Can we get this thing the fuck out of here?

SPEAKER_03 2:29:34

Uh maybe.

SPEAKER_08 2:29:36

Wait, what would happen? Okay, if we like blast into hyperspace, but like, are would we be able to like seal the cockpit where we all are, but then just like leave the doors open for the rest of the ship so everyone else gets burned up by hyperspace? Is that how we're gonna do it? I mean it's possible.

SPEAKER_02 2:29:51

It depends on uh You remember where we are, right? Right now, this ship's been sitting here in the maelstrom for who knows how long. Its navig computer might not be up to date. That uh shard that we came with had a path in, but that doesn't mean that this ship has a path out.

SPEAKER_06 2:30:05

Do we have a destiny point?

SPEAKER_02 2:30:08

A destiny point for you to have saved it into your armor or something? You have you have a destiny point.

SPEAKER_06 2:30:13

No, I was just gonna say that I can activate my narrow escape uh with pilot.

SPEAKER_08 2:30:20

Oh. One of us needs to make a roll that can have a destiny point flipped against us.

SPEAKER_12 2:30:27

Can we do it against each other?

SPEAKER_08 2:30:30

Okay, Rombi has punched me in the face and upgrade it.

SPEAKER_11 2:30:34

I was about to say, uh uh roll a deception against me and make me uh uh believe that I'm still a girl or still a girl or something.

SPEAKER_08 2:30:44

I don't know if that would work. Roll a deception against Raven to try to make her think that we can definitely pull this off.

SPEAKER_02 2:30:54

I mean, yeah, Raven Raven is the character that I could flip a destiny point for, so. Would you though? I mean, if you're trying to convince her to go jump in the escape pod, yeah, I guess Maz as well.

SPEAKER_11 2:31:06

I can't believe we haven't done something like this yet, where we're like, we need to get away. Let's create uh an opportunity to roll.

SPEAKER_08 2:31:18

Let's try to do a deception on Maz and Raven to convince them that no, Al is still a girl. It's all girl talk. We can talk about whatever we want now.

SPEAKER_02 2:31:28

Okay, um, so if you're trying to deceive them into think this is a good idea, then this is gonna be gonna give you a destiny point. Um they know it's not, so that's gonna add two blacks. Uh so that'll be against a red, three purples, and two blacks deception.

SPEAKER_08 2:31:44

Actually, maybe I should do this because like we honestly should not convince them of this.

SPEAKER_02 2:31:49

Okay, go right ahead.

SPEAKER_08 2:31:51

And my deception's not very good. So what is it? A red?

SPEAKER_02 2:31:54

A red, three purples, and two blacks.

SPEAKER_08 2:31:56

And two blacks. And I got two green. I'm not add injection. I do not actually really want to succeed this. Oh, I probably didn't want to fail at that bad thing. I got one failure for thread and despair.

SPEAKER_02 2:32:11

Like, don't kill me or anything, but You're you're trying to like explain your hair brain scheme, and you don't have any hair, so the harebrain is not gonna be uh it's gonna be even worse. And you notice out of the corner of your eye, Maz is like hovering in the air and her eyes are glowing as she's clutching this artifact. Oh no!

SPEAKER_08 2:32:33

I can't everyone just come down with a goddamn artifact! So we have two destiny points though, right?

SPEAKER_02 2:32:39

You have two destiny points, and Maz says, there is a long shot, a very long shot. We have this thing, it makes us strong.

SPEAKER_11 2:32:49

Oh god, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't want this.

SPEAKER_08 2:32:53

What's happening?

SPEAKER_11 2:32:54

Well, you don't want you don't want this, Maz.

SPEAKER_08 2:32:58

But we don't know that she doesn't want it, Maz. What are you talking about? Girl talk. Come on, we talk to us girls to girls.

SPEAKER_02 2:33:03

Alright, well, see on those cameras there? You can see uh Rusty marching aboard, him and his s shard. They're fighting the other shard. Uh they're coming towards the bridge. They're going to get us. We have this thing. We kind of killed a Jedi Master. You guys kind of killed the Chancellor. I kind of hired you to kill the Chancellor. Raven is uh kind of I actually I don't want to know about that. I uh I absolve myself of all knowledge. I need plausible deniability for stuff like this.

SPEAKER_09 2:33:35

Oh yeah, you don't know that.

SPEAKER_11 2:33:36

Yeah, no, you're that's fine.

SPEAKER_02 2:33:38

But we have this very powerful item. We don't know what it is capable of doing or not doing. We could all end up dead. We could all end up safe.

SPEAKER_06 2:33:48

Let's feed it to the ship.

SPEAKER_02 2:33:50

We don't need to feed it with to the ship, we could just use it. This thing it takes in power from the people around it. It focuses everything. Everything into one being. So if somebody wants to be that one being to focus it and everybody else helps out, then if we're all of the same mind and we're all cooperating, then we should end up somewhere normal and safe, and I'm gonna be honest, the energy that's released will probably blow up this whole ship and kill Rusty.

SPEAKER_11 2:34:21

I'm kind of fine with that. Let's k let's do it.

SPEAKER_08 2:34:23

Wait, so like what like okay, who should take it though? Unless we give it to R Oh, wait, Meyer, how does your narrow escape work?

SPEAKER_06 2:34:33

Uh personal scale combat counter.

SPEAKER_08 2:34:38

Cause it's like, what if we gave it to you? We all hold on to you, we all fahu Dorhe, and you use your narrow escape, and you just psychically beam us to a nearby planet.

SPEAKER_06 2:34:49

I don't think that's how uh that works.

SPEAKER_08 2:34:52

If you're holding an artif a very powerful artifact, maybe it is.

SPEAKER_06 2:34:57

God.

SPEAKER_08 2:34:57

You beam us to Kessel and then we control Kessel! We become the pikes!

SPEAKER_06 2:35:03

TPK. TPK.

SPEAKER_02 2:35:06

You'll either end up safe or dead, or some other thing might happen, depending on what you guys rule. A mysterious third thing. Oh dear.

SPEAKER_06 2:35:15

I mean, I could also fail the role.

SPEAKER_08 2:35:17

With all of our power behind you, all of our force? Because what is the role for narrow escape? Yeah. Uh, two purple. God, would you allow us to try to extrapolate that to psychically beam ourselves to Kessel?

SPEAKER_02 2:35:33

You might not end up on Kessel, but if you want to try that.

SPEAKER_08 2:35:36

I guess we could go inside a escape pod before we do it, so at least if we don't end up on Kessel, we're inside an escape pod.

SPEAKER_12 2:35:43

So only the escape pod blows up?

SPEAKER_06 2:35:44

I can also activate it in a piloting situation.

SPEAKER_12 2:35:49

Can you pilot an escape pod?

SPEAKER_08 2:35:51

Yeah, you can pile it an escape pod.

SPEAKER_12 2:35:53

Well, let's do that then.

SPEAKER_08 2:35:54

Give it to Meyer.

SPEAKER_12 2:35:55

Yeah. You got this, bro.

SPEAKER_08 2:35:57

And also if we did decide we want to take it back from her later, if she got like really annoying, she's so wimpy normally. I Yeah. No offense, Meyer.

SPEAKER_11 2:36:05

Offense taken.

SPEAKER_06 2:36:06

You know what? Maybe I'll just fail this on purpose and we can all die.

SPEAKER_11 2:36:10

Don't you have that feeling when you're talking with Bannery? I have that feeling when I'm talking with Bannery all the time. Wow, I do beg for death.

SPEAKER_08 2:36:20

I was joking. Okay, we'll give it to Meyer and we all hang on to Meyer.

SPEAKER_02 2:36:25

So, in order for this to work, you everybody needs to be on the same page. Okay. Everybody, you need to be focused on the same thing. So, what that is gonna require, uh, is a discipline role from everyone to make sure that your own, like, each of you has seen how powerful this device is. Each of you is a selfish miscreant that could probably do great things if they had this. Uh each of you probably the chances of you pulling this off are impossible. So we're gonna call this an impossible role. Oh dear. In order for you all to be on the same page, you need to each pass an impossible check. Okay. Maybe it's discipline. If you uh think that it is a different skill uh that suits you, you might be able to do that. But even if you succeed because you're not, because you're focusing more on yourself than the group, then uh maybe it won't work even if you pass the check.

SPEAKER_04 2:37:33

Hmm.

SPEAKER_02 2:37:35

Okay. So if Vanry, if you're focusing on your athletics, if you're using that, it's your best skill, but that is kind of selfish.

SPEAKER_08 2:37:44

It's kinda what if it's my resilience standing up in the face of my own shittery?

SPEAKER_11 2:37:50

Your own shittery.

SPEAKER_08 2:37:52

My own shittery.

SPEAKER_12 2:37:53

What it what if it was my knowledge lore and I was using it, my experience with the shard to make sure that others are not overpowered by its strong draw?

SPEAKER_02 2:38:08

You can you can use whatever skill you want. Discipline is gonna be the safest in terms of the results, but it's also uh not something that all of you are v necessarily very good at.

SPEAKER_12 2:38:18

What if So should we all go with discipline then?

SPEAKER_08 2:38:21

Is there any stupid, idiotic way that I could argue that the deadly reputation that I activated could come into play since it never did, and it could downgrade the difficulty of these skill checks?

SPEAKER_12 2:38:34

Because you scared us into buying a lot of things.

SPEAKER_02 2:38:39

Never mind. If you want to use that against Raven or Maz, if you think they may step out of line.

SPEAKER_12 2:38:52

No, I will uh this is like um prisoner's dilemma. You know, if you think someone's gonna fuck it up, you roll a different skill. But if you roll a different skill.

SPEAKER_08 2:39:04

But discipline said. You know what? I uh god, I feel like resilience would help me uh keep myself in check so I don't do any shenanigans.

SPEAKER_11 2:39:14

I'm I'm I'm looking at perception, and I'm trying to reason my way into that, because like perce uh perception would be to follow you guys along.

SPEAKER_02 2:39:23

That yeah, that would be like noticing what everybody else is doing. That would be you maybe mo as a spy, as a shape-shifting spy, molding yourself to kind of notice what everybody else is doing, potentially.

SPEAKER_11 2:39:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:39:34

So any any skill you think you could use here. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 2:39:39

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:39:42

Let's fucking go.

SPEAKER_12 2:39:44

So I'm gonna try uh knowledge lore then in that case, then. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:39:48

And that's uh against a red and four purple.

SPEAKER_12 2:39:50

Woo ew!

SPEAKER_02 2:39:51

Is it the same check for whatever skill it is? Yeah, that it that's the default impossible roll, but it's like you get one chance at it, no re-rolls, no whammies.

SPEAKER_08 2:40:01

I uh I will do resilience, um, just to mentally restrain myself from sabotaging us. And I will take a strain to upgrade. What did you do?

SPEAKER_12 2:40:16

Four success, four threat.

SPEAKER_08 2:40:18

Oh.

SPEAKER_12 2:40:19

There's threat.

SPEAKER_08 2:40:20

There's threat.

SPEAKER_12 2:40:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 2:40:22

I got four advantage, three light side and a dark side. I can use that dark side to get one success. It'll be one success and four advantage.

SPEAKER_02 2:40:32

That's a good fucking. And you're using the uh the dark side on that?

SPEAKER_08 2:40:35

Oh, or should I use the light side? I do have three light side, I could get three success.

SPEAKER_02 2:40:39

You only have two destiny points left, or maybe one, depending on because impossible rolls require a destiny point, and the uh Myers ability requires a destiny point.

SPEAKER_08 2:40:51

You know what? I'll leave it. I'll just I'll use the dark side and I will get the one success. Okay. Oh god, I hope we're this is tense.

SPEAKER_11 2:40:59

I'm I am seeing if I can like add anything to perception roll at all, or does it need to be just a a flat out perception roll? Uh, no success, no failure, but three advantage.

SPEAKER_06 2:41:14

Can I use my cool to be ready to receive their help?

SPEAKER_11 2:41:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:41:21

Yay. Three advantage.

SPEAKER_11 2:41:24

Hey, you got one more advantage than I did.

SPEAKER_02 2:41:28

So, Meyer, why don't you uh give me that uh narrow escape? Uh highlighting.

SPEAKER_06 2:41:34

Okay, blue.

SPEAKER_02 2:41:36

You're all huddled in this escape pod.

SPEAKER_06 2:41:38

One success, one triumph.

SPEAKER_12 2:41:40

Oh no, the escape pod's controlled by your uh by uh chief remote control.

SPEAKER_02 2:41:47

So, uh as you're holding, you're all holding on to this artifact, there's a bright flash of light, and you're not sure whether the escape pod launches because you press the launch button, or if it's because the ship behind you ruptures and explodes, but suddenly you're all thrown back in your seat from the sudden acceleration of this escape pod being hurled into the void. You can't see anything, you can't hear anything, it's loud, it's bright. When you come for dear life, there is an impact. Everything is dark. The impact is uh into the ground, the window at the front of the escape pod is completely covered. Rhombious. You can open the door to the escape pod and step out. Into the void of space. Uh not into the void of space, but into a it is a void of sorts. Um there's not really ground, there's these kind of like luminescent walkways. You've kind of ended up somewhere that maybe in your travels you've heard about, maybe uh in your journeys you've even thought, oh, that would be a strange place to visit. In in your quest for Living Forever. Uh, a place that does not follow the normal rules of reality, may have come up in myths and legends, a sort of world between worlds. Ah. A world where time does not pass, where age does not increase. Your quest for lore brought you here to this domain where you can perhaps peer through doorways and windows into the world that is and the worlds that are, but you can never access them.

SPEAKER_08 2:43:52

Oh no!

SPEAKER_02 2:43:53

Oh no, are we are we a Watu now? Vanry, your f resilience kept you kept you alive, so you can shove open the door of the escape pod, and you can step out into an environment that is harsh. The air is thick and ancient. This is a planet that hasn't developed yet. Like, oxygen and carbon dioxide are like thick and heavy, it's humid in the distance. You can hear the roars of enormous creatures yet to be discovered. This is a place where your physical metal will be tested, but as far as you can tell, and you get the feeling that it will be forever, as far as you can tell. Oh uh, you will be alone here forever on this planet of beasts, a beast you have become.

SPEAKER_08 2:44:52

We made mistakes, huh? We made a mistake! Oh this was not a I I should have just rolled the discipline. Why am I so fucking stupid? Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 2:45:02

Al, that's me. Perception. Yeah. As you kick open the door to your escape pod, you can step out. And a a watcher, a spy, you are. You find yourself not in a world between worlds, uh, metaphysically, but a world between worlds technologically. Like Set was searching for immortality, uh, you are an observer, you're somebody who always tries to maintain a distance, who tries to watch, who tries to observe, who does not take part. So you can see what other people are doing. You are in some kind of Am I a ghost in the machine? Yeah, you are in the hollow net. You can't access anything, you can see what other people are doing, but it's not information you can do anything about, and everything, all of this information about people and about places and about what they're doing, it's all flowing into you now, and it's overwhelming. The sound is immense and it is never going to end. You are seeing and hearing the actions of trillions and trillions and trillions, an uncountable number of beings. Meyer, you tried to play it cool. Oh no. You placed trust in your friends, you prepared for them to help you. You've always wanted to be cool. You've always wanted people to uh like you, your music, you can open the door to your escape pod, and that's what you hear. You hear music, you hear your music, you feel it in you. You have become music in a way. Whenever that jingle that your family used is played, you you are there. Whenever the jingle of uh this company that builds weapons of war is played, you are there. You are feeling it, you are seeing it, you are hearing it. Every atrocity your family commits in your name, your music lives on, you are there to witness it. Your legacy as an artist is one of death and destruction for a thousand years. You are, like everybody else, immortal. Probably not Vanry. Vanry's definitely gonna die alone on this planet in uh chaotic oblivion. Ooh boy. But Meyer, you are finally a successful artist, and what bloodshed your success has brought. Raven? That's pretty fucking cool, actually. Raven used the lightsaber skill.

SPEAKER_08 2:47:49

Why would you use the lightsaber skill, Raven? Raven.

SPEAKER_02 2:47:52

She trusted in her power as a Sith. Her, she wanted to be the last Sith, the only Sith. So when she opens the escape pod door, she ends up on a planet that she hoped she would never visit again. The planet of the Sith cult, Exagol, where she is forced to subject herself to just anthems and arenas full of Sith. So many Sith, as far as the eye can see.

SPEAKER_08 2:48:24

And they're cheering!

SPEAKER_02 2:48:25

And they're all cheering. They all want a crab bucket for her. Maybe one day she'll be able to uh escape from this place, but at least for the time being, uh she has made her bed and now she'll have to lie in it. Maz succeeded on her discipline role. One success. With to be fair, she succeeded. Fourth threat, her four friends are all gone, so when she opens the escape pod door, she steps out onto the fertile grass of the planet Sismon, where her uncle's brothel, uh, or I guess the whoever is now owning her uncle's brothel is uh probably going to provide a uh a warm bed and a hot meal for her before she uh returns to her life on Tacodonna. Those aboard the freighter were destroyed, Rusty is dead, chalk's dead, all of your robot friends are dead, Kerbin is dead, most of the Shard obliterated, meaning that uh the Pikes and the rest of the galactic underworld are free to reclaim Kessel and use it as a place of uh dread and slavery to uh provide drugs and fuel to the people of the galaxy. And uh eventually everything will turn out alright, but it won't be today. But maybe it'll happen in the next campaign of Star Wars Empire Wreckers, but probably not. This week's episode is brought to you by our top patrons, Alpha Bros 522, CannyCam, David B, Eric Charles Perazzo, Holocron VFX, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Matthew Lynette, Suki Nintendo, That Blue Guy, Thomas Davidson, and Vaginator.