S13E03 - Why Don't You Get A Job?

The galaxy is in crisis. After the discovery of weapons of mass destruction on the desert planet Geonosis, the Republic launched an invasion using its new Clone Army, triggering the first galactic war in a thousand years.

Hoping to avoid endless casualties, Jedi Master Hallan Krintu secretly took a group of explorers from the Jedi Service Corps to find a lost planet whose legendary waters could heal any injury to the body, mind, or spirit.

Finding the waters corrupted by a centuries of misuse, Hallan tried to attack the planet's inhabitants, only to be stopped by his exploration group, who are now taking him back to Coruscant for treatment....

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Records, the Star Wars actual play podcast. That's probably about six months away from total invasion of our country. Who's ready to be proudly Canadian today?

SPEAKER_09 0:40

There's so much pain in the world, but not in this room.

SPEAKER_10 0:44

Starzan is a champion and defender of his nation. Oh, when you start a war, what are you gonna do when you get terrified?

SPEAKER_06 0:55

And Deliria says, Nazi punks, fuck off.

SPEAKER_03 1:00

And if you're ready to not investigate too closely anything we did before the end of World War One, why don't you come along with us a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, in Star Wars? The galaxy is in crisis. After the discovery of weapons of mass destruction on the desert planet of Geonosis, the Republic has launched an invasion using its new clone army, triggering the first galactic war in a thousand years. Hoping to avoid endless casualties, Jedi Master Alan Printu secretly took a group of explorers from the Jedi Service Corps to find a lost planet whose legendary waters could heal any injury to the body, mind, or spirit. Finding the waters corrupted by centuries of misuse, Alan tried to attack the planet's inhabitants, only to be stopped by his exploration group, who are now taking him back to Corusant for treatment.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

I hope Master Hallen's okay. I hope he hasn't actually just uh felt this way about us the entire time.

SPEAKER_09 1:58

You mean after I shot his fucking legs off?

SPEAKER_02 2:01

Well, no, I'm more thinking of uh when he was referring to us all as dropouts, when you know, like when we left on the mission, he was like, Of course I care about all of you, and then he's like, get out of my way, dropout. Like, hey, fuck you. So I'm hoping that there's something wrong with him. I don't want to believe that Master Hallan always was harboring this towards us.

SPEAKER_10 2:19

Master Haller told me he was fond of my lobster.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Your lobster?

SPEAKER_10 2:24

He's funny.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

When did you show him your lobster, Starzan? That doesn't seem like the appropriate behavior between a uh exploration corps member and their master.

SPEAKER_10 2:35

Starzan makes an excellent lobster stew. You put it in a stew.

SPEAKER_09 2:40

Lobster stew? I've met him. He's one of my favorite men.

SPEAKER_02 2:45

Yeah, he's just telling us how he loved to show Master Hal and his lobster.

SPEAKER_03 2:49

Yes, lobster stew.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

I love how this group's accents is just a collection of rejected homestar runner characters.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

I do like that, you know, now that we are in season 13, it's like, what if we just got like as stupid as we possibly could?

SPEAKER_03 3:10

That's so wacky. So, uh, during uh your previous adventure, uh, at the end, Illyria did astrogate to Coruscant, but you were in the outer rim, so it did get some threat. It'll take some uh It'll take some time to get there, so you probably have like a day or two of travel at least. Do you guys want to do anything to your critical injuries that you suffered? I would like to cure them if I could.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Who has does anyone have good medicine or okay medicine?

SPEAKER_06 3:38

I can do something. I have a rank.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

Okay. So let me lay hands on you. So if you want to uh fix these people up, um Chris and Kala both have uh a one purple critical injury each. Uh Kala also has a two purple critical injury. However, because some of your shuttle's medical equipment is being tied up, keeping uh Hall and sedated, that will add a black.

SPEAKER_06 4:07

I'll do the the two purple with the black, or do I have I can do them all separate, right?

SPEAKER_03 4:12

You can do them all separately.

SPEAKER_06 4:13

Okay. I'll do the two purple and a black one first. Huh. One advantage. Can I roll a force on this, or is that just my heel harm?

SPEAKER_03 4:22

Um I think eventually you can use your your force on that, but probably not yet.

SPEAKER_06 4:28

One advantage. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

Uh well, okay, so you can maybe focus to put that advantage on uh adding a blue onto your next roll on Cal if you want to focus on the simpler one rather than the more difficult one.

SPEAKER_06 4:43

And those all have blacks?

SPEAKER_03 4:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 4:45

Three success, three advantage.

SPEAKER_03 4:48

Yeah, this one's so healed. And Chris also has a one purple.

unknown 4:54

What?

SPEAKER_06 4:54

One advantage.

SPEAKER_03 4:58

So so one of uh So what does that mean for me?

SPEAKER_09 5:01

Am I just like limping the entire time? Well, if you take another critical injury, it'll have some uh extra. I better not take a critical history then. I'm just gonna get a lot of rest.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

I mean, we're going back to Coruscant. Maybe someone there could try to patch us up before we go out and do whatever the fuck it is we're doing next.

SPEAKER_09 5:16

I don't even know what we're doing next.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

None of us do.

SPEAKER_03 5:19

The the the world is all up in an array. So, um, after Illyria does try to uh heal your injuries, you can all rest enough to heal your strain and wound using what supplies you have aboard. And uh after a couple of days of travel, you can finally arrive back at Coruscant. And you find that the planet is uh under a lot of strict security. So you can see immediately orbiting the planet are a fleet of these large, kind of arrowhead-shaped warships that are silhouetted against the the day side of the planet. And rather than just kind of a a buzz of traffic in and out, all of the uh inbound and outbound ships are arranged in these tight rows as they pass one by one through security checkpoints before descending to the surface.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

I guess let's get in line.

SPEAKER_03 6:21

I'll steer us into the queue.

SPEAKER_09 6:23

Make sure you don't bump into the guy up front. I've done that before and it's very it ends up very badly.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

When's the last time you even flew a starship?

SPEAKER_09 6:33

Uh, we don't talk we don't talk about that because.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Was that what happened the last time when you had your license taken away?

SPEAKER_09 6:39

I won't confirm or deny.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

Ah, so yes.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

Absolutely. So how how nervous are you, uh, Kala, about this?

SPEAKER_02 6:49

Um, I mean I'm not super nervous about the security. I don't have any of my impact on me because it got confiscated. Wait! No, no, I didn't get it because Helen caught me when I was trying to get it off those guys.

SPEAKER_03 7:01

So, like, put it in his belt.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

Oh, oh. So shit, maybe I should take that back off. Um Do we have anywhere in the ship where uh I could hide things? Any little smuggling compartments?

SPEAKER_03 7:13

Um, there are, I mean, there's no smuggling compartments, but uh, if you want to uh go to the bathroom real quick, you can give me a uh flush it. Well, no, if you wanna if you want to take it.

SPEAKER_06 7:26

Stick it under the the lid. Oh, you wanna take it? Okay.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

I mean I could take one. It's been so it's been like a few days since you've had it. Yeah. So uh why don't you because your your addiction is 20. Um give me a two purple resilience rule. Oh, jeez. And it's been a few days, so we can we can say add a black onto that.

SPEAKER_02 7:48

Okay. Uh my resilience. Uh, one success, one threat. I'm okay, but I'm not going to be for long.

SPEAKER_03 7:57

Yeah. So you may you may want to take it, you may not. That's up to you. Uh, if you do want to try and snatch it. He is sedated, but you may want to do a skullduggery roll just to make sure that you don't like bump anything if you want to retrieve your uh stash.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

Sure. What would that be for st uh skullduggery?

SPEAKER_03 8:16

That would just be a one purple. One purple. Two success to advantage. Okay, yeah, you can uh snatch your stash off of his belt. If there's anything else in his belt that you wanna uh put your fingers on, you can.

SPEAKER_02 8:27

I mean I I'm not gonna I'm not gonna rob our master. I'm not I'm not gonna rob Hallan.

SPEAKER_03 8:33

Good. Okay, so Callie, you've got your drugs.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

Yeah, I'll I'll steer us into the queue and then just like uh okay, I'll go to the bathroom. Uh no one come in here.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

Okay, give me a uh one purple and a black piloting check if you're if you're doing this while you've got the shakes.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

One purple and a black. Five success, three advantage. It's fine. It's fine. I can do it. I can do this while I have the shakes.

SPEAKER_03 8:57

Yeah, you can pull the ship in into line with the rest of the uh incoming traffic, head off to the bathroom to do whatever it is you're gonna do. So the way impact works is you upgrade the ability of any uh agility-based checks till the end of the encounter. Uh, but for the rest of the session, you have a black to any agility, cunning, and intellect-based checks. So after if if you have to, for whatever reason, make a break for it, you'll be okay. But after that, for the rest of the session, uh you you will be suffering some ill effects.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

Okay. Um, yeah, I don't know what's gonna count as the end of an encounter if we don't have to make a break for it, but uh because how many doses did I get off those aliens? I don't or I think uh Hallan caught you. Or like how many did he have? Or was it just the one?

SPEAKER_03 9:43

Yeah, you started with two, uh Chris uh exploded one all over his face, Hallan confiscated the other.

SPEAKER_02 9:50

Okay, so that would have been my last my last one.

SPEAKER_09 9:54

I said I was sorry.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

And I said that you should just figure out how to do impact.

SPEAKER_09 10:02

Oh that that that I guess that'll I guess that'll teach me for trying to be a buddy.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

I'll go back to my sheet seat, just like feel so much better now.

SPEAKER_09 10:15

Holy shit. Um, maybe you should go to real high end pupils.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

I'm fine.

SPEAKER_09 10:21

Listen, control your high, okay? Control your high.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

Not high. I'm fine, I'm normal.

SPEAKER_06 10:27

I was going to suggest that we try and uh fast track our landing, but uh fast, fast, fast, yeah, fast, fast, fast. I feel like that's not a good idea anymore.

SPEAKER_02 10:37

No, we can do it. Should we get out of this line? Should we just like go for it? Skip security altogether, we could do it.

SPEAKER_06 10:43

Can we have radio contact to explain our case so they let us on the planet faster?

SPEAKER_03 10:49

Uh if you want to try and uh hail one of the warships, you can.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Oh yeah, who's uh Chris? You're a you're a communications guy, right? Get on the get on those comms, get them off, get them come on, come on, come on, Chris.

SPEAKER_09 11:00

Okay, alright. W uh what am I saying? What's our story? Or uh what's our story here? God, I wanna talk.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

What do you mean what's our story? You've been here, you've been here with us, Chris. What do you mean what's the story?

SPEAKER_09 11:09

Uh hello. We've got a uh Oh, we've got uh we would like uh permission to land. We have a a bad man uh uh on the ship here. We've got a very bad man.

SPEAKER_03 11:21

I'm I'm sorry, incoming shuttle. We're we're very we're very busy up here. Submit, submit your identification and uh wait your turn, please.

SPEAKER_06 11:28

Uh we're with the Jedi Exploration Corps. We should be able to do that.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

And we will be able to check that. Seems very, very hurried.

SPEAKER_06 11:38

Can we do that? Oh fuck, is this ship stolen? Did he are we AWOL? Let's submit it.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

Well no, it was taken out, uh it was taken out properly by Master Hallen, I think. Yeah, he talked to that droid. Yeah!

SPEAKER_09 11:52

Can he ca uh where do you want us to go? We only have so much fuel.

SPEAKER_03 11:57

Uh submit your identification? Uh yeah, we submitted our identification. So you can send it through, and the guy on the other end says Alright, identification confirmed. Please hold. Uh hold for how long?

SPEAKER_02 12:10

When he comes back, you should tell him that if he doesn't if he doesn't fast track us, then it must have Hall and Crintwood's gonna fucking die. He's gonna die if they don't have to be.

SPEAKER_06 12:31

We've done unofficial business, right? We weren't a wal worry.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

I don't think so. Mr. Helen talked to that droid. Can we radio the warship that we're being tractored to and be like, what's going on?

SPEAKER_03 12:44

When you go to the radio, you can see that along with the tractor beam, all of your outgoing comms are being jammed.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Oh no.

unknown 12:51

Mr.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

Helen did he this was a f look, we we were out Master Helen, we are the Jedi Masta. Like, what they can't get us in trouble for that, right?

SPEAKER_06 12:59

I mean, if this is a warship, then there should be a Jedi aboard who can give us information.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Oh, the battery. There will be. There will be, right? Yeah, there will be. Just vibrating at the controls, not able to do anything. I wanna fly.

SPEAKER_06 13:15

Maybe you should use the pull-up bar for a bit.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

Have you seen Kelly?

SPEAKER_06 13:20

Get some of that energy out of your uh walkies? Get some of that energy out of your system.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

Just do laps around the ship.

SPEAKER_02 13:28

Why don't you clean the dangle and kick my feet trying to pull myself up?

SPEAKER_10 13:34

Go clean the ceiling.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

Someone get Cal off the ceiling.

SPEAKER_09 13:40

Somebody get the stick. Alright, so what what uh what do we do now?

SPEAKER_02 13:46

I guess we just wait to get pulled in.

SPEAKER_10 13:48

You just turn it off and just enjoy the pull.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

Yeah, Yaigen's kind of keeping an eye on him if the rest of you are uh in the cockpit. I assume over the past few days you would have come up with like a rotation where it's like someone always needs to be with him.

SPEAKER_09 14:04

Yeah. Should it be more than one person that uh uh looks after him or no or am I am I too worried about him?

SPEAKER_06 14:11

See being sedated, what's happening?

SPEAKER_03 14:12

Yeah, he would have been he would have been continuously kind of sedated.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

Like I feel like if this was something for uh Chris to be concerned about, the time has passed, we're getting tractored into a ship.

SPEAKER_09 14:24

Okay, yeah, that's fair.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

We've done our voyage.

SPEAKER_03 14:26

We've done our we've done our due diligence. So if you're uh trusting that uh everything is going to go okay if you just uh let it happen, you can be pulled into the hangar bay of this large military ship. And when you do, you can see that there are some other ships in there. Uh it looks like some of them are like other passenger ships that have been pulled in. Maybe they were smugglers, maybe they were brought in for some other reason. But you are not the only ones to have been uh apprehended. And you can also see that kind of patrolling the hangar bay and guarding things, there are quite a lot of uh soldiers wearing uh all the same kind of like white plastiel armor. Oh dear.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

Oh yeah, because did we hear about the uh now there are clones, I guess, situation?

SPEAKER_03 15:21

Yeah, you this is presumably the Republic Army. You wouldn't have seen any of them first hand yet, but.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

Yeah. And is there a sign of any Jedi down there?

SPEAKER_03 15:29

There don't appear to be any Jedi down there, but once your ship is kind of set down in the hangar bay, uh, a human guy in a gray military uniform who's flanked by about a dozen of these white armored troops, approaches the shuttle and he presses something on his data pad, and your ramp begins to open.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

Listen, we're loyal members of the Jedi Service Corps, I'm sure this is fine.

SPEAKER_09 15:56

We've literally done nothing actually wrong. We've uh helped uphold the Jedi code. This guy is uh pretty fucked up.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

So the soldiers enter, you can hear them marching aboard and spreading out throughout the ship. If you're all in the cockpit, once they get to you, uh some of them approach with their weapons drawn and they say, Down on your knees.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

Wait, what?

SPEAKER_03 16:19

Down on your knees.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

Down on our knees.

SPEAKER_09 16:21

We we we we we come I I go down on my knees with my hands on my head. We just so you know, we come in peace. We do come in peace. I don't think down on my knees.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

I'm a member of the fucking Jedi Service Corps. What are you? Well how old are you, we don't have to be able to do that. Oh, you think you can stun me? You think you can I Okay, he's gonna stun you. We don't deserve this kind of disrespect!

SPEAKER_09 16:44

I just just wanted you you to know that uh uh our commander-in-chief Hallen is uh uh he has gone bad. He has gone.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

He saved lives, you bastards! So you're short range.

SPEAKER_06 16:58

It was not part of our plans. We were kidnapped.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

Okay, success to advantage.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

Cala just collapses, shaking.

SPEAKER_03 17:10

Yeah. The rest of you, you're gonna cooperate or do we need to stun you two?

SPEAKER_06 17:15

Ah, cooperate.

SPEAKER_10 17:17

I'm looking to you guys like, huh?

SPEAKER_09 17:19

Well, I'm already on my uh knees here, so you know. But I am I am still talking, where I'm just kinda like, just so you know, cat uh uh Jedi Halland has gone to the dark side. He has tried to uh we had to subdue uh subdue him. We uh request uh that he is interrogated at once.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

He doesn't seem to be like listening very much to you. Like, as you're talking, you can see he like reaches up and presses something on the side of his helmet almost like maybe he's turning off his speakers inside there. And he just says to one of the other troops, he says, Alright, cuff him. And they all s uh come to you with uh cuffs to try and cuff you. I'll allow it.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

I'm glad I'm unconscious.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

What what what eating going on a mission?

SPEAKER_02 18:02

Going on a succulent. Solar brings up water! Some succulent planetary water.

SPEAKER_09 18:08

Some succulent shit into water.

SPEAKER_06 18:10

Succulent bimus planet.

SPEAKER_09 18:16

Start it.

SPEAKER_10 18:16

I would like to get uncomfortable with this.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

Uh I would like to know what charges are against us, please. They're not telling you, they're not saying anything, um, but they do kind of pick you up and lead you out of the ship. And as you get to This is democracy manifest. As you get to the landing ramp, some of the other troops appear, and one of them shouts, Looks like there's a sedated Jedi in the med bay. Yes, we told you. We've said.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

They fucking les Okay, I can't say anything, I don't unconscious. I'm gonna make them carry my unconscious body, fucking pricks.

SPEAKER_03 18:47

So are you are you like shouting your innocence? Because as they bring you out, the uh military officer with the data pad is out there as well. These these uh troopers who just stormed your ship, these storm troopers, you might say, uh, they don't seem to be listening to you. Maybe it's just because they're not ordered to, maybe uh they just don't care. But this guy seems to be.

SPEAKER_06 19:10

Can I use my Jedi senses to tell that they're like one-year-olds?

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Do you have the sense power? No. Can you just do the vibe check on them? They seem very professional.

SPEAKER_06 19:22

These guys were born sexy yesterday.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

These adult-sized toddlers are incredibly hot.

SPEAKER_06 19:34

Look, if the fifth element can have that trope, then we can too. And also Karen Travis.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

Uh but there is at least like a person with like a visible face that's out there now.

SPEAKER_09 19:47

Okay. Uh uh Pa uh Paul Gonmoir, uh, Monsieur. Jedi Halland uh wanted to uh commit a genoc uh genocide uh against an entire uh entire town. We had to uh stop him.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

And he looks up from his data pad and he says, That's quite a charge. Uh we'll have to investigate that. We will uh see to the Jedi Master's injuries. We expect you to. It's good that he is alive, or else this would be a lot worse for you.

SPEAKER_09 20:15

Oh, I yes, no, right. That's why I aimed for the leg.

SPEAKER_06 20:20

Are you saying we were actually AWOL? When he told us we were going on a mission, I asked if we were AWOL, and I didn't want any part of it, but I trusted my master as I should.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

Holy shit. This ship was reported as missing on an unauthorized excursion by the crew of the Yoga. We brought it back. And I'm very glad that you brought it back, but uh until this all gets sorted out, uh, you're going to be spending some time in the brig, I'm afraid. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

Also, if we killed him, why would we have even come back? That's evidence. That's witnesses, that's paperwork.

SPEAKER_03 20:57

That is not for me to determine. A case officer will be with you shortly.

SPEAKER_10 21:01

What is this brig?

SPEAKER_09 21:02

Do do the do the people who are dragging her now just drop her?

SPEAKER_06 21:06

Nah, I'm still unconscious. Okay. What about the child? Is the child going to jail too?

SPEAKER_03 21:12

Yeah, what about Zija? She will not be harmed unless it is determined that she had a part to play in this, but that is pending further investigation. Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated and it would help your case.

SPEAKER_09 21:24

I am I am very willing to cooperate.

SPEAKER_06 21:27

As a witness, she was there when I said, when I asked, if we were going AWOL, she was their witness.

SPEAKER_09 21:33

We we would say, yes. We we were not not to say we were, you know, only following orders, but you know, we were misled.

SPEAKER_03 21:42

If the commander can vouch for you, then we will take her word seriously.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

They commit. I'm unconscious.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

Which which commander?

SPEAKER_02 21:51

I'm unconscious.

SPEAKER_03 21:52

Which commander? Uh my records say that uh General Crintu's Padawan is uh Commander Yigen Lam.

SPEAKER_09 22:00

I knew it! I knew that she was all powerful and more experienced than us. Okay, yes, no, we uh she she can absolutely vouch for us. She is she was there when uh she was in the room when it happened. No, wait, she wasn't actually, but uh She was on the radio. She was on the ra on the radio and audio talked to him when he was doing bad. Uh we'll take that into account as well. Fuck you.

SPEAKER_03 22:31

I don't say that. Again, if you have not committed any crimes, then perhaps uh everything will be alright for you. As I said, we'll take you to the brig and you can await your case officer there.

SPEAKER_09 22:43

Our lawyer's gonna be Bruce McCullough, isn't it?

SPEAKER_06 22:46

This episode is gonna be two more hours of us digging through the walls with a spoon.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Why does that keep happening to us?

SPEAKER_10 22:55

It's like uh Joker 2, an extended courtroom battle is what our listeners wanted for us tonight. Objection! To you to Landom.

SPEAKER_09 23:06

If uh I I I let them. I'm ready, I'm ready for the Phoenix Wright episode.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

Yeah, I don't think I'm in any position to resist, so.

SPEAKER_06 23:14

I'll be our lawyer with my knowledge education. Presence.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Oh god, is Yigen gonna end up being our lawyer? The child.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

The child will represent us. If you let them uh take you to the brig, uh those of you who are awake will see that uh there are some other cells that have been kind of uh packed with crews of various ships. You guys are all kind of thrown into the same cell. There is an energy field that protects you and protects, I guess, others from your escape. And you can j you can see that like most of the people in there are like pretty scuzzy looking dudes, people who were probably like legitimately criminals, not like you guys who are totally innocent. We're totally innocent.

SPEAKER_09 24:00

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

Never done anything wrong in our lives.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

Oh no, I hope I could charm my way out of this. And the uh the soldiers, uh, they throw you in the brig and uh they leave you there. You can see kind of around the corner, just a little bit you can see that like there are some guards. Every once in a while a clone soldier does kind of do rounds, checks to make sure that everybody who's supposed to be in there is in there. Uh, wake up. They don't drink any water.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

Fuck. So that just happened. Still mad about that, god damn.

SPEAKER_09 24:37

You've really you I'm not not for nothing, but you really gotta start getting into it. Like with all your. So that just happened! Thank you. That's the energy that we're looking for. I'm sorry, but that's that's that's what we gotta go for.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Every time. Sorry. Every time we must embrace cringe.

SPEAKER_09 24:56

Yes, 100%. So what happened, uh well, they're investigating the case and we got thrown in the brig.

SPEAKER_06 25:05

Great. I knew it. I knew it.

SPEAKER_09 25:08

So it seems as though uh our uh gr our fearless leader has uh led us into a little bit of a uh crime. So I guess we got to defend ourselves. I don't know what we're gonna get asked.

SPEAKER_06 25:26

I just think it's funny that he called us dropouts and he willingly dropped out of the light side. I'm gonna meditate.

SPEAKER_09 25:32

Yeah, go ahead and meditate. You know what?

SPEAKER_02 25:35

I'm gonna meditate too. This is you know what? I've been in the service corps since I was uh fucking what how old was I? Thirteen? 14.

SPEAKER_09 25:44

I'm gonna meditate too, but I understand that the energy that the energy of this meditation is going to be the angriest energy that I've ever felt on meditative meditation.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

I'll I'll I'll meditate with a literary angry meditating.

SPEAKER_09 25:59

Starzan, you must meditate with it. You're all meditating in different corners.

SPEAKER_06 26:03

I was gonna say, we're all meditating, it's Starzan's turn to monologue.

SPEAKER_09 26:07

Starzan will commune with his ancestors. What forms you're doing?

SPEAKER_01 26:12

You're just hitting your chest, like just doing doing push-ups in the corner.

SPEAKER_09 26:18

That's your meditation.

SPEAKER_03 26:20

You guys can um meditate, and it takes like a couple of hours before anyone comes to get you. But uh eventually somebody does show up. Uh, a human man, the least um memorable human man that you've ever seen. Average height, average build, average haircut and hair color, average eye color, average skin texture, just everything about him is completely nondescript.

SPEAKER_09 26:51

Uh, Joel Hedgerton, I'm so happy you're here.

SPEAKER_03 26:56

No, that's Uncle Owen. Oh right. Uh, but he shows up and he says, uh, hi, um, sorry about all this. Uh um, are you you're not sleeping, are you? Uh, well, we were, but we're we're fine now.

SPEAKER_09 27:13

So are you are you our attorney?

SPEAKER_03 27:16

Uh I'm Case Officer Gray. I'll be uh looking after you. Uh let's just get this out of the way. And he presses the button on the door and the energy field fizzles out. Why don't you come with me?

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 27:27

Okay. Uh where where are we going? Uh well, we're gonna go to uh I have an office uh uh here aboard, the Kareth. Welcome to the Kareth, by the way. It's not the uh way that we usually like to welcome people, but you know, war and everything, it's been tough for everyone. Can't make any assumptions, especially uh after what happened with uh Master Dooku and everything. Oh yes, no, it's uh sorry, what?

SPEAKER_02 27:55

Wait, what happened? Would we know about Dooku?

SPEAKER_03 27:58

You would know about him as the leader of the separatists. What what happened with with Master Du uh with Dooku, aside from, you know, like Well, you know, he's currently the head of state of the Confederacy of Independent Systems, so Oh, okay, just that.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

Just the the uh continuing things.

SPEAKER_03 28:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

Nothing specific. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 28:18

So uh okay, we'll go we'll go to your office. Um do we need to uh uh be restrained in any way?

SPEAKER_03 28:27

No, no, no, it's fine, it's fine. Um I took a look at the report about your situation, and I think um we're gonna be able to uh come to an agreement that is gonna make everybody uh happy, I hope. Perception.

SPEAKER_10 28:42

Are we getting are we gonna end up with bombs in our necks?

SPEAKER_02 28:46

Yeah, it does sort of feel like maybe that's something that uh warrants a perception. Perception.

SPEAKER_03 28:51

So this'll be against his deception per potentially? If you think he's lying, or just his his cool. What's worse?

SPEAKER_02 29:02

Maybe I feel like because I don't know if he's necessarily deceiving us, but it definitely sounds like there's probably something he's not telling us.

SPEAKER_09 29:10

There's there's a uh uh There's a but. There's a there's a but. There's uh oh fuck, what's the term? Uh a catch. A catch, that's what it is. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 29:20

Yeah. I couldn't catch it. So do you think it's his deception you're rolling against then? Yes. Let's go. Uh yeah. Sure. Okay, so if this is uh against his deception, you can roll a perception uh against three red. One, two, zood. Uh failure and a threat. Somehow two success.

SPEAKER_02 29:43

I'm not oh wait, shit.

SPEAKER_03 29:47

Kala, uh, since this is perception, you would add a black on that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

I was trying to remember if it was cunning as well. Dang. Oh, but perception, I can remove a black. Ha ha! One success, one threat.

SPEAKER_06 30:01

Aww. I'll do it, even though I suck. Let's see. Oh, thank god, one failure.

SPEAKER_03 30:10

Okay. Oh, despair, that's what counts. Kala and uh Chris, you can take some strain because you do like, Chris, you don't know what's up with this guy, Leary. You don't know what's up with this guy, but like it does like coming to an agreement, like, there's something that's gonna be expected of you that maybe is like, ooh, like you were just arrested, you don't know what's going on. Uh, but Kala and Starzan, aside from that, um, it doesn't s seem like he's he's definitely acting in a way that he wants to appear friendly. He wants to try and put you at ease. It is an affect that he's putting on. You don't know if this is something that like he's doing legitimately because he knows that it'll try and put you at ease. You don't know if it's if it's something that he's like got an ulterior motive, but he you can tell that he is like kind of laying on the He's laying on a little thick. He's he's using his customer service voice with you guys. His white voice.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

So uh I don't suppose that we could persuade you to just tell us what the catch is gonna be now, or are we gonna have to wait till we get to your office?

SPEAKER_03 31:21

Well, I think uh this is a conversation that would be best had um in uh some measure of privacy. Let's go to the office.

SPEAKER_09 31:29

Why not? It's better than this stuffy room anyway.

SPEAKER_03 31:33

So he leads you through the halls, uh, and he says ever vigilant. Probably been a few hours since you've had anything to eat or drink. Can I get you something from the uh mess hall? You motherfucker.

SPEAKER_09 31:45

You piece of shit. Oh you sly uh manipulative motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Okay, I understand why you're saying that, but I also love this guy being like, do you want anything from mess hall? Just like, you motherfucker.

SPEAKER_09 32:04

Oh wee wee. I would love some water or granola bar.

SPEAKER_03 32:09

Alright, I'll put in an order in for that. And he punches it in on his data pad. He says one of the uh one of the men should be here shortly with that. And he presses a button uh on next to a door, and there is a kind of small, uh, not cramped but not spacious. It is a military office. There is a desk that's there with a window looking out onto Coruscant below. And it seems like it's not an office that he's had for long. There's no knickknacks, there's no like personal things that he's brought along with him. Or that's just the kind of guy he is. But I don't know if you know him well enough to be able to discern which that is at this point.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

He only said his last name, right? His last name's Gray.

SPEAKER_03 32:52

Yeah, case officer Gray.

SPEAKER_02 32:54

Hmm. But he might just be that sort of dude. We have privacy now?

SPEAKER_03 32:59

Uh, yeah, feel free to have a seat. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 33:02

I'll have a seat.

SPEAKER_09 33:04

Can I can I look around for like cameras and uh uh if there's like windows or vents or anything like that?

SPEAKER_03 33:12

Uh there is a window out into space. There are some uh ventilation crates, but they are not big enough to crawl into. Hmm. So it's just the door or out in space, eh? One of them, uh, after a moment does open, and a little mouse droid carrying a tray with some snacks and drinks kind of rolls through this hole in the wall and zips around to uh in front of his desk and kind of stops in front of each of you, so you can take a drink and a snack if you want.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

Ah shit, I am so hungry. Yeah, I'll take a drink and a snack.

SPEAKER_03 33:41

Glug glug glug. So those of you who take one can take one, and the mouse droid uh returns back to the hole in the wall from whence it came. From whence it came.

SPEAKER_02 33:50

Bye, buddy.

SPEAKER_03 33:52

Alright.

SPEAKER_02 33:53

Okay, so we're uh we're alone, we're refreshed.

SPEAKER_09 33:56

What what have you brought us here for uh little mousy man?

SPEAKER_03 34:01

Well, we've uh reviewed your case. Um we've uh heard what Commander Lam had to say about it. Uh so why don't you tell me what happened?

SPEAKER_02 34:13

Wait, Commander Lamb? Isn't she like 12?

SPEAKER_03 34:16

As a Padawan in the uh Jedi Order, she has been uh given the rank of Commander in the Grand Army.

SPEAKER_09 34:21

Yummy! If you want to know what happened, we uh uh were woken up by uh Hallan Crinto, our boss. Uh we were told that we were gonna go on a super important mission uh for the waters of Bimis. And uh once we got to Bimis, we started to get that kind of look in your eye when you're just sort of trying to hide something, you know. And uh eventually we got to this entire civilization of just rednecks. Is there a space term for rednecks? Rednecks. A lot of tomaters. Very uh merry the cable guys. Uh uh real salt of the earth.

SPEAKER_02 35:09

Uh real you need to salt the earth to get rid of 'em.

SPEAKER_06 35:13

You know, morons.

SPEAKER_09 35:14

Yeah, you know, any uh and uh we got there and we uh they they have been respon they have been responsible for the uh uh mistreatment of the pl uh of the planet's residents. So we had uh we requested to arrest the Lita s uh and for them to spread uh spread out and not just h uh hog hog the water, try to do the civilized thing. Uh but unfortunately Hallon uh had other plans and wanted to cut everybody down into ribbons. And that's kind of the long and short of it. Oh, and we stopped him by shooting off his fucking legs, but uh that's I'm not part of that.

SPEAKER_03 36:02

When you say you weren't part of shooting off his legs, um Oh, I wasn't proud of that, sorry.

SPEAKER_09 36:11

It's actually I'm actually very proud of that. I did an action move. It was n it was red as hell.

SPEAKER_05 36:19

It was actually very cool. It was nuts.

SPEAKER_09 36:21

It was actually very cool.

SPEAKER_03 36:23

And he says, well, that uh does align with what the commander told us.

SPEAKER_09 36:28

I just wanted to let it be known that I wouldn't have done it if uh not only the civilization that we're in, but the entire planet and even our lives were in danger, and I felt as though we were in a lot of danger.

SPEAKER_03 36:41

I understand, I understand. It's um a tough situation out there. You know, uh this whole situation um with the war and everything, it kicked off really fast. Um I'm with the SBI, the Senate Bureau of Intelligence, and so I'm just gonna tell you uh my job. So at the SBI, we've been tasked with developing an inquiry uh division. An Inquisition Inquiry Division. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

SPEAKER_02 37:13

Just to look into Wait, are these the men in black? Mr. Gray, that's a fake name.

SPEAKER_09 37:21

Let's see what he has to say.

SPEAKER_02 37:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:24

So obviously, uh the situation with Master Dooku is um an incredibly complex one. I can't personally speak to what could lead a Jedi master to become the leader of uh a secessionist movement like that. But obviously, uh Jedi can be very powerful, and uh this is an unprecedented situation. The Republic hasn't been at war for a thousand years. And as uh part of this new inquiry division, our first task was actually to uh compile psychological profiles for the 200 Jedi who participated in the battle at Geonosis. Well, I I apologize, you are uh affiliated with the Jedi's members of the Service Corps, um the survivors of the battle. Only 40 ended up walking away, which I gotta tell you, that's that's tough. 20% survival rate of the first battle of the war. It's not it's not good. Our uh clone soldiers were built for this, they were bred for this. But the Jedi is a whole other matter. We are eternally grateful that your masters are stepping up and helping to lead the soldiers, because they certainly could make use of that experience, but we need to make sure that the Jedi are also uh dealing with the war correctly. And we kind of very quickly ran into a problem because at the SBI, we are just normal people. The Jedi have, as you in the service corps can probably attest, uh amazing powers that uh the average person can't hope to keep keep up with. We don't have the skills or training to deal with uh these abilities that the Jedi have. But Do you want us to be internal affairs on the Jedi? Well, I mean, you are kind of uh getting ahead of me here again, but we were hoping.

SPEAKER_09 39:18

I have I am very I uh my mind explodes with fireworks whenever I I have an inch and I take a mile from it.

SPEAKER_03 39:27

Let's okay, let's just lay out here what the expectations would be if this offer were to come your way. The Service Corps was founded as a division of the Republic military a thousand years ago, and its control reverted to the Jedi during peacetime. So, legally speaking, you are not members of the Jedi Order, and we at the SBI feel that your distance from the Jedi, along with your ability to be able to understand and potentially deal with Jedi abilities, and in particular, your actions in not only apprehending a Jedi master who was acting in a way that was against uh, from what I understand, not only the Jedi Code, but also Republic law. But to do that to somebody that you considered a friend and a mentor, that struck me as a group of people who have the best interests of the Republic at heart.

SPEAKER_06 40:26

Yes! Yes! Finally someone sees it. Sorry, go on.

SPEAKER_03 40:33

So I think uh you can understand why we would ask you to do this with us. I could order you, but uh I'm glad that it doesn't seem like that's going to be an issue that you are uh happy to help us with this. Uh obviously, any time something happens to a Jedi, that is a great tragedy. Uh Master Crintu is being returned to the temple. He'll see the best care that he can. And Yigen, the commander. How do how do you feel about Yigen? Do you like her? Is she uh a good Padawan?

SPEAKER_02 41:06

I mean, I don't necessarily care for your continued insistence on calling her our commander.

SPEAKER_03 41:12

She's a commander. Again, you as members of the Jedi Service Corps, and now once all of the paperwork is uh dealt with, agents of the SBI are not part of the Jedi Command Chain. She is not your commander, and neither is any Jedi.

SPEAKER_06 41:28

Also, it just sounds like they're handing out titles like poptato chips.

SPEAKER_09 41:31

Honestly, I think is wise beyond her years. I feel as though she's uh she's uh a good person, is that one?

SPEAKER_06 41:41

Yeah, she did assist us in capturing her rogue master. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:46

Like, I mean, okay, wise beyond her years kind of that limited running with that, given that her years are 12. But you're like, you know, seems like a perfectly lovely, uh perfectly lovely Padawan. I think she'll be a good Jedi one day.

SPEAKER_03 42:01

Well, that's good. Um, because we just want to make sure that in light of uh Master Crintu's situation that she is reassigned appropriately. Obviously, um the SBI, we don't have any uh legal uh authority to help decide where Jedi Padawans go, but we do know that uh she is being reassigned to a new Jedi master named uh Ranik Solusar, who was one of the survivors of Geonosis.

SPEAKER_06 42:32

Oh, reassigned, huh? Interesting area. It's okay. It's okay. Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 42:37

I was thinking that too, as soon as he's like reassigned. It's like, oh, so you're reassigning now. It's fine.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

And I just had some concerns, um, and I thought you might as well. So Master Solosar is uh, as far as we know, a perfectly respectable Jedi master. Um, but when we did compile our psychological profiles of the survivors of Geonosis, there were a couple of red flags. Okay, such as Many of the Jedi who were available at the temple to go to Geonosis are uh sector watchmen on here on Coruscant, looking after various areas of the city to protect them. Master Solosar was the sector watchman, is the sector watchman of the Monari Heights sector. And I don't know how uh how familiar you are with the rotation schedules of Jedi Sector Watchmen. Generally, uh, from my understanding, a particular sector watchman rotates out after a maximum of five years. And uh Master Solosar has been the sector watchman of Monari Heights for 12. That's not, on its own, very uh suspicious. Uh the first handover, it seems like it was canceled due to the incoming Jedi who was supposed to replace him being occupied with another mission. The record state that was never rescheduled. Uh, his second stint was officially. Extended a couple of years ago due to an outbreak of brainworm rot type A in his sector that he was helping with that appears to have been uh dealt with. But he returned to his post immediately after uh returning to Coruscant from Geonosis, which I don't begrudge him for trying to dive back into his work, but given the longevity of his stay in that sector, and I believe the Jedi do have some rules around um attachments to things. We just want to make sure that he is going to be a good fit for your friend.

SPEAKER_02 44:33

Are you thinking that he might have a uh an over-attachment to this community? Or think he has a secret wife?

SPEAKER_03 44:41

We are not in the business of making those kinds of uh deductions, especially with the limited amount of information that we are granted into the specifics of the Jedi's records. But uh if you would be willing to uh go to the Minari Height sector and just uh make sure that he is going to be a good fit for Yigen. If it turns out that he is in some way a danger to the community, you have the authority to detain him. If he's uh breaking rules that are uh Jedi rules, then uh if you report that to us, we will forward that to the temple for internal discipline. Uh but we'd like to make sure, you know, that this resolves uh peacefully, hopefully, there's nothing, but you never know.

SPEAKER_02 45:27

Cause would would we be able to roll anything to see if we'd know anything about like either Minari Heights or this particular Jedi, like beyond what he's told us?

SPEAKER_03 45:38

Um, I think as part of the exploration core, probably not, because he's been the sector watchman for 12 years. So that's probably uh a lot longer than most of you would have been with the service core.

SPEAKER_02 45:53

Yeah. What if we're nerds? Because Kalisat would have been with the service core how long? Like over 15 years, I think. But I mean that also would have taken her away from Coruscant.

SPEAKER_03 46:05

Yeah, you probably haven't been like back to Coruscant. Maybe like once or twice in the past uh decade or however long you've been with the service corps.

SPEAKER_06 46:14

Can we know about the area rather than the dude?

SPEAKER_03 46:17

Yeah, so for you guys not being really from there, those of you like Chris, I think maybe from Coruscant, but he wouldn't have any kind of memory of specific areas. But if you want to see if there is anything you remember about uh the area, that would be for you guys, that would be a four-purple knowledge. Probably knowledge core worlds. Knowledge core worlds, eh? And it is an intellect check, Kala.

SPEAKER_06 46:46

Two success, two threat.

SPEAKER_02 46:48

Five threat. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 46:54

Uh total wash. Four failure, one threat. So, Illyria, you're the only one who knows anything about Minari Heights. All of you got threat, though, so your information is about a decade or so out of date. Illyria, what you do know about Minari Heights is that it is uh sort of a spaceport district. There are two spaceports there, so there's a lot of travel, probably a lot of people coming and going. Probably not all of those people are upstanding citizens, potentially. That may be why uh he stayed there so long. Maybe there's a lot of crime coming in and out, maybe there's uh something that he's keeping an eye on. Uh, but because you guys got threat beyond, like, oh, there's a spaceport, you don't really know anything.

SPEAKER_02 47:40

I mean, we can check this guy out, right? Like, you know, Yagan's a good kid. We gotta make sure she's going somewhere good, right?

SPEAKER_09 47:47

I feel as though it is our responsibility now. Our duty. Our duty to make sure that the jet the Jedi remain f uh I was about to say pure, that sounds wrong. Purifies the Jedi.

SPEAKER_06 48:09

Are they just reassigning her, or did he have to volunteer? Because I, to my knowledge, they had to request to have a Padawan.

SPEAKER_03 48:18

Well, that may have been the case a couple of weeks ago, but I think as of right now, things have changed.

SPEAKER_06 48:24

God damn, I wish I lived in wartime. I mean as a kid.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

As as a Elyria, I really need to rethink about the words that just left your mouth for just like 10 seconds. I really wish I lived in wartime, but specifically as a child.

SPEAKER_10 48:41

I wish I was already over the wartime that I lived through.

SPEAKER_02 48:45

God, I wish I was going through my peak developmental years right now.

SPEAKER_06 48:49

I wish I was a 12-year-old commander.

SPEAKER_09 48:52

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

I wish I gotta just have my title handed to me for no r uh no merit at all. Yes!

SPEAKER_06 49:00

Let's have everybody else gets it. Let's catch a bus or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 49:05

Oh, you won't need to catch a bus. Um, your shuttle is obviously being uh returned to the service corps, but we've arranged for uh an alternate mode of transportation for you.

SPEAKER_06 49:14

Oh?

SPEAKER_03 49:14

So he leads you uh out of his office back to the hangar bay. And he leads you to a Theta class shuttle. Uh seemingly new off the line, uh, doesn't have any uh blast marks, it doesn't seem to be worn at all, it seems to be brand new manufactured. And he says, So, uh, I know the Theta class uh has been around for quite a while, but it's uh fairly reliable, uh, from what I've heard. The only thing I need to know is what name should I put in the registry?

SPEAKER_02 49:48

But he wanted to.

SPEAKER_06 49:50

No, has anyone prepared? I didn't even think about this. Uh birds.

SPEAKER_02 49:55

Oh, I oh yeah, no, it should be uh shit, my brain was going too serious about this. Okay. Uh because you know, I just thought, like, maybe for Illyria, since like we were on the shuttles that were all named after Jedi Masters, and uh Yattles got unceremoniously painted over with Shack Tisa, maybe you'd want to call it the Yattle. Or we want to have some fun, huh?

SPEAKER_06 50:14

I think Yattle deserves a larger ship.

SPEAKER_02 50:17

We gotta save the Yaddle. Save the Yaddle for something that actually wants it.

SPEAKER_06 50:22

The Will Osprey.

SPEAKER_10 50:29

Am I crazy or is there a bird called the Cockswallow?

SPEAKER_07 50:32

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_06 50:33

Hang on.

SPEAKER_09 50:34

It's part chicken, part swallowed. Oh, we have a quail yet.

SPEAKER_03 50:38

If I Google Coxwallow, all that comes up is uh some very interesting videos.

SPEAKER_10 50:44

I I made sure to add the word bird when I go when I did that.

SPEAKER_01 50:48

Yeah, there we go.

SPEAKER_10 50:52

Um the uh quail, grouse, turkey, like a quick quail. What quail? The inquisitive?

SPEAKER_02 51:02

Ooh! The curious quail. We're not doing any inquisiting, we're just curious.

SPEAKER_09 51:07

The qu I do agents. I do like questing quail.

SPEAKER_02 51:11

The questing Oh, the questing quail.

SPEAKER_09 51:14

I do like questing quail.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

You know what I like the best about the questing quail though? That if you've ever seen quail in real life, there is like no bird that is lit less likely to go on a quest. That's why. They are like the Bilbo baggins of birds.

SPEAKER_09 51:32

Perfect.

SPEAKER_02 51:33

Questing quail.

SPEAKER_09 51:34

Questing quail is.

SPEAKER_02 51:35

Questing quail. With a questing quail.

SPEAKER_09 51:37

Alright. Uh quack quack. We'll get shot out button in the sky from buckshot. That's not a quick yeah, what does a quail sound like?

SPEAKER_02 51:47

I don't remember what qu I don't think they quack.

SPEAKER_03 51:50

Quack, quack quail. Quail sounds. And he hands you over a uh data key and he says Enjoy the quail. Yes, the quail.

SPEAKER_09 52:01

Uh, and then we we look at it and it's it and it's incredible, it's awe-inspiring. It's incredible, incredible.

SPEAKER_03 52:10

Since you're on Coruscant and we're still in orbit, if you if you can, after your mission is complete, once you've determined, just bring it back to me, uh, and we can debrief you. But as you are now under the jurisdiction of the SBI, unfortunately the uh exploration corps is being sent fairly far afield, which means that it would be hard to uh give you further assignments. So uh I've also taken the liberty, I hope you don't mind, of assigning you an apartment in the Senate District.

SPEAKER_02 52:42

In the Senate District? Oh we fancy. Are we finally getting the respect we deserve?

SPEAKER_09 52:51

Are we moving on up? We are becoming movie stars to the east side.

SPEAKER_02 52:56

Do we have like separate bedrooms and everything?

SPEAKER_03 52:58

Yeah, I'm I'm sorry, it's nothing fancy, only a four-bedroom apartment. Um but it should be adequate, I assume, that as members of the Service Corps, you're uh more or less used to uh I I don't want to say humble uh abodes, but um I the Jedi do live a life with a certain amount of asceticism.

SPEAKER_09 53:18

I can I I you know I could uh withstand a less humble abode.

SPEAKER_02 53:22

Yeah, I don't think I've ever had my own room in my entire life.

SPEAKER_09 53:26

In fact, if you can make my abode boisterous, that would be amazing.

SPEAKER_03 53:35

Boisterous.

SPEAKER_02 53:36

I'll kinda like grab Chris on the shoulders and shake him at a little just like Chris! This means we can have parties!

SPEAKER_09 53:43

Party!

SPEAKER_02 53:44

Finally!

SPEAKER_09 53:45

Yeah, we say that really quiet just to make sure that that guy doesn't POTIES!

SPEAKER_02 53:50

And then we do like a little whisper giggle like he.

SPEAKER_09 54:15

The questing quail.

SPEAKER_03 54:18

Uh yes. Brand new Theta class shuttle used by uh high-ranking Republic dignitaries. And you.

SPEAKER_02 54:30

Yeah!

SPEAKER_03 54:30

Yeah!

SPEAKER_02 54:31

Especially us.

SPEAKER_03 54:33

So you can board and find that it is, in fact, uh brand new, not a scratch on it. The uh readouts still have the little like plastic on them.

SPEAKER_02 54:45

Oh my god, I'm gonna peel those off. I sent my pilot's chair and like peel off one and go like, whoohoo, and then peel off another and go hoo-hoo. I've never been in a ship this new before.

SPEAKER_09 54:59

Chris Holm can see his reflection. Oh, I'm so pretty.

SPEAKER_02 55:03

Chris, look, sit in that other chair. Sit in that other chair. You know what you feel? You know what you feel? Nothing. It's not been it's not molded someone else's ass before you got here. It's on molded chairs!

SPEAKER_09 55:14

I feel like I'm sitting in the cloud.

SPEAKER_02 55:17

Like we're sitting in a cloud. Oh, another plastic piece!

SPEAKER_09 55:22

I I after you say that like it hasn't been molded by anybody else's ass, I start like like going kind of back and forth on the chair a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 55:31

Just g one ass now.

SPEAKER_09 55:33

This is gonna be This is gonna be perfect for my ass.

SPEAKER_02 55:38

Okay, can I take us down to uh this sector then? Yeah, the Minari Heights. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:47

So with your uh official uh SBI shuttle and uh associated authority that comes with that, you can bypass the lines of people waiting to get into uh airspace and head down to the surface of the planet. So Minari Heights, uh so what you knew about it is that it's got a couple of spaceports. Um, and because how do you want to find how do you want to find this Jedi?

SPEAKER_06 56:13

What's this guy's name again?

SPEAKER_03 56:15

Uh Ranic Solosar.

SPEAKER_06 56:19

Well, because like if we can see that. Go to the Minari Heights Reddit page.

SPEAKER_02 56:25

Cause if we can find out, like if he's like if he patrols in this neighborhood, like if he has a patrol route that he likes to follow or particular stops he likes, like I know you said that as a joke, Amy, but like, yeah, is there a Reddit page for is there the fucking next door page for this neighborhood?

SPEAKER_06 56:43

Like when people post about uh stop checks.

SPEAKER_02 56:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:47

Uh so you wanna you wanna see if there's any like Hollonet chatter about this district that could point you to where the uh the Jedi might be? Okay, that'll be a um probably a one purple computers to see how much information you can get.

SPEAKER_02 57:01

You got that Illyria.

SPEAKER_06 57:03

One success, one advantage.

SPEAKER_03 57:06

Hell yeah. So uh you can find in the various discussions about Coruscant, Coruscent, uh, discussion groups, various sites and apps and what have you, different channels that are Coruscent has like a trillion people on it, so there's like a lot of uh information out there. And like gathering it down to just Minari height, so um you got that advantage. So you could probably know a little bit about like Jedi Watchmen as well, where it's like usually they when when there were Jedi Watchmen, they were assigned to look after like an entire star system. These districts on Coruscant are so densely packed that that's basically what they're taking on by taking on like a district of Coruscant.

SPEAKER_02 57:48

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03 57:49

So there's there's a lot of shit going on and a lot to filter through. Um, but the thing that is making headlines right now is that d especially exacerbated by the war. So uh the Minari Heights district during the entirety of the Separatist crisis has kind of been the place where uh a lot of refugees have been coming that have been fleeing from separatist worlds to try and find shelter with the Republic. And now that the war has kicked off, every like all the tensions have kind of heightened the um brain rot worm outbreak from a few years ago. That was uh from like a group of Nemoidean refugees that came in. And of course, right now what do you mean, of course, Elyria? What do you mean, of course?

SPEAKER_06 58:41

Frog people.

SPEAKER_02 58:44

Those damn dirty aliens coming to Coruscant, says the chiss.

SPEAKER_03 58:50

So the uh refugee relief movement uh headquarters are located at Tannock Spaceport, and Eastport Spaceport is where most of the actual traffic is, but both of them have been seeing a really high amount of like people. There are kind of these makeshift camps. Uh lately, the problem is that there are tensions between refugees from the planet Dak, uh, which is home to two species, the Mon Calamari and the Quarrins. Now, because the Mon Calamari sided with the Republic and the Quarrins sided with the Separatists, that planet is having a war within the war. So there are refugees from both sides taking the same transports to Coruscant that are like getting into fights at the spaceport. And there have been like a lot of posts being like, uh, I heard a Jedi's coming, I heard the Jedi's gonna come, I I hear the watchman's gonna come and like put a stop to this. Some people are saying I heard the Jedi's gonna come and kill all the Quarren. Some people's gonna say, I heard the Jedi's gonna come and make the Mon Cal stop doing this. Like, everybody thinks that this Jedi that's that's gonna show up soon is gonna fix everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:01

Okay, so maybe if we wanted to go to like whatever area where the uh DAC refugees are kind of congregating and see if we can spot this Jedi on the approach.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:11

Yeah, so the refugees themselves uh are mostly at the Eastport, spaceport, in uh sort of uh like makeshift camps with tents and stuff, because there is like there's a lot of real estate on Coruscant. A lot of that real estate has been taken up. Uh there have been a lot of refugees over the past 10 years, especially in Minari Height, so there isn't a ton of space for new people, especially those that are fleeing after the Battle of Geonosis and the war has actually begun. And there are people protesting then at the Tannock spaceport over at uh the refugee relief movement headquarters, protesting the influx of refugees.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:51

So either either one could be a likely place where a Jedi would show up.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:54

What do you guys think? The uh the camp or the protest?

SPEAKER_09 1:00:58

Um, I feel like uh Z pro the protest people might want to stay away from the protest because that might be a bit awkward. But uh The Camp sounds intriguing.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:13

Tarzan is very fond of camping.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:17

And bean camp. Am I right? Starzan doesn't get the reference.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:22

It's the face paint.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:23

It's the face paint.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:24

It does definitely end Len the Aura.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:28

This is Starzan's war symbol.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:31

Oh like Starzan's hor- I'm not gonna say that. Starzan's War Symbol? I didn't say that! Out of curiosity, because this is like a a fully stocked brand I assume fully stocked brand new ship. Um, would would there be any equipment on there that we would be able to grab for ourselves?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:52

The Theta Shuttles are usually used by like uh dignitaries and ambassadors and stuff. Like, usually because you it is uh you are part of the SBI, that is Senate stuff, senators use it. So there aren't any like uh guns or anything on board the ship if that's what you're looking after. What about listening devices? Um, not really. This is it's it is pretty bare bone. So it's like the the stocks that it has are like kind of standard issue like supplies for long voyages. Like there's the kind of things you would give to an ambassador or a senator that was going on that they would want to have stocked just in case. So like emergency rations, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:35

Sparkling water.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:36

Yeah, a lot a lot of cases of sparkling water.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:39

Yeah. I also have the seek power, so like if we get down there, I can always use that to try to uh get a general idea of where he is.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:48

Can you only use that for people? Or do you use that to find drugs?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:51

I mean, she used it to find the uh the treasure.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:55

It is a person or an object that I know about.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:58

Regardless of the water.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:59

If I know there's regardless of current distance, if I I so I guess I could roll it while we're on the ship.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:05

Going in. Should I while I'm flying? I mean I can multitask. Got I only have force rating one. I think we roll to. Yeah. Might not be able to. Eh. I need two force pips to activate the power. I only rolled one dark side. It's fine, I won't do that.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:24

Decide against it.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:26

You can uh take a shot by heading to the Eastport spaceport. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:30

Let's go.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:31

So you can uh bring your shuttle in towards the spaceport. And as you do, you can see that like kind of a a tent city has been erected around like some of like the landing areas and some of the concourses. I don't know if you guys would know this, but sometimes the Eastport docking facility ever occasionally is cleared away and used as like a pod racing track. So there is like long stretches of space where they can set up these kind of tent cities on these tarmacs and things. Uh and as you fly your ship over, if you look out the windows, you might be able to see like people looking up at you expectantly in this ambassadorial shuttle, being like, oh, finally somebody has come to solve our problems. And you can set down, and when the ramplowers, like people are kind of looking at the shuttle expectantly, and when you guys walk out, there's there is a like sort of the crowd shrugs and goes back to what they were doing. Because you guys do not look important whatsoever. Perfect.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:38

I mean, honestly, that's probably best for Rams.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:40

It's honestly best to that we don't quite stick out. I mean, if we're uh undercover, we have to be uh likable and then forgettable right away the moment we leave his site.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:56

Yeah. Okay, where would we be able to find our way to these uh or are we like at this camp?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:02

Uh you would have been able to touch down with your shuttle on one of the free uh docking platforms. So the camps are probably a little ways away from the actual like loading and unloading areas.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:14

I can't believe I didn't ask this. Did we actually get a description like a physical description of this guy?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:19

Uh yeah, you would have been provided that he's uh an adult human male.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:23

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:24

Adult human male. You would have you would have gotten a description of him. He's you know, he looks like a Jedi, he might be like Kirill, and he's kind of got that sort of uh like it's a like a photo, like a holo photo, so we can't really tell like what kind of swagger he has, but he has like a confidence about him that a Jedi has like short hair, clean shaven face, looks to be in his like forties or fifties.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:47

All these bitches so forgettable looking today. Here's another generic white man.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:55

Yeah, that's who gets promoted in the Jedi Order.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:58

Also, everyone in this neighborhood is a Fucking fish person.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:01

Well, Agent Gray is the average human skin tone and texture, so he's probably not Caucasian.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:06

Beige man. Indian.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:08

He's some variety of beige.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:10

I'm gonna imagine him as Rahul Kohli.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:13

No, he's not Rahuul, so.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:15

Okay. A planer Rahul Kohli.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:20

One one with the uh edges shaved off.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:24

We have Rahul Kohli at home.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:27

This is Rahul Kola.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:31

I had to look up who that is, and it's like, yeah, that is too handsome to be an average man.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:36

Would we be able to make our way to uh this camp?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:39

Yeah. Yeah, the camp is pretty pretty easy to find. Uh it is quite a large camp. The camp has self-segregated into Quarn and Monkalamari uh tent cities. You can't sit with us.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:54

Is there anywhere around the camp that's kind of like more out is there anywhere where I could take a vantage point to um watch for this guy coming? I am I am a long-range gunner by trade. This feels natural to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:10

You want to find a fucking sniper spot at the spaceport?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:14

Not to snipe him, just to watch out. And maybe snipe him if we really have to.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:21

So a lot of the spaceport security, you can see uh there are kind of uh local spaceport security, but that is being reinforced. You do notice uh there are a couple of patrols of these uh Republic clone soldiers that are sort of uh patrolling the edges of the camps as well. But there does seem to be a lot of uh kind of attention focused on the refugees right now. Uh you are not a Mon Calamari, nor are you a Quarn, so uh you're probably gonna be treated with a little bit less suspicion. Um, unless I'm trying to find a crow's nest. Because you're you're walking around with that rifle slung over your shoulder, are you?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:04

It's a uh prop. It's who doesn't walk around with a rifle? Come on, it's Star Wars. It's war time. It's more time, baby.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:17

This is my rifle.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:18

We're with the Republic. What was it, S-I-S?

SPEAKER_09 1:08:21

SBI. SBI. It's like FBI, but with an S instead. Agent Starzan, SBI.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:29

And the Space BI. Bowel.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:32

Scully, we have all these Jedi's all over the place, and they're just betraying our country and betraying our world.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:39

Do you think they're spooky?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:43

But if you're if you're lugging this conspicuous rifle over your shoulder, uh one of the clone soldiers would notice you and come over.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:51

I mean, I am. Hello.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:53

Uh yes, what would you uh like, sir? Uh, excuse me, ma'am. I just wanted to uh check to make sure that that weapon that you're carrying is registered. This is a uh very volatile situation. I noticed you came down in that ambassadorial shuttle. I'm assuming that you're supposed to be here.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:09

Uh yeah, yeah. It's registered.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:12

Do we do we uh do we have paperwork for it?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:14

I mean it with like a made of pockets. Yeah, I'll just I'll give the data key. And he plugs it into a little data pad. Which is alright. Oh, SBI. Um carry on then. Is there anything I can help you with? It's been quite a busy day here.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:29

Uh it's just such a fun treat to be treated with respect. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:36

I I I love that this is what we're getting out of not being part of Halen's uh posse anymore.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:44

Actually being treated nicely.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:46

Actually being treated nicely, yeah. Um and let's let's not let us not forget, we are here to do a job. We are here to make sure that the uh we are here to make sure that everybody is uh copacetic.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:00

Are you here to deal with the refugees? Um no.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:05

Well Well, we're actually we're looking for uh the the Jedi Master that patrols this area. You've seen him about?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:12

I haven't seen him yet, but he was supposed to show up and talk to the uh portmaster this afternoon.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:17

Okay. Maybe maybe turn and talk to everyone else. Just like, do we what do you think? Should we try to like watch him from a distance or try to get into that meeting? If we could get a listening device and put in the office where he's having that meeting, we could uh insert ourselves into the meeting?

SPEAKER_10 1:10:32

Hello. Or SBI concerned citizens.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:39

Listen, I'm just saying, if we if we manage to get a bug and manage to get into the office where they'd be having their meeting, then we just listen in.

SPEAKER_10 1:10:47

What is this bug?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:49

You know, a little buggy do. I like a little bit. Oh, Starzin. Oh, Starzin. Uh what do you guys think? Or we could just go and be like, SBI.

SPEAKER_10 1:11:01

Do you have freeze? Do you ha do you have a listening bug?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:07

I mean, he's not here right now. If they're like, the Jedi. Like, if there if since it's like kind of close to port, there is kind of like sketchy activity going on, we might be able to find someone who could sell us one.

SPEAKER_10 1:11:21

Can that be or something else out together? Hey man, hey man. You gotta bug or Jones in for a bug, man.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:30

We should gather information before before confronting him. We don't even know we're confronting him. He's probably fine. He's just Yeah, we're just you know, making tricking. Uh we don't know. I say it's easy, but uh there seems to be lots of shit going down in this neighborhood. Maybe he just loves justice. Maybe he loves working hard.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:52

Or maybe, because the guy said he was meet with the quartermaster. What if that's his secret spouse? I bet he has a secret spouse and a secret family in this area. I gotta hunch. I bet this Jedi's a slut. Would there be anything that one could roll to see if there's like if we might have passed anywhere that looked like there could be someone who had illegal goods on offer?

SPEAKER_06 1:12:14

Are listening devices illegal?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:17

So you're probably gonna want uh potentially streetwise or um probably streetwise would be the the most Knowledge Underworld, maybe uh you're not super familiar with Coruscant, so it might be harder knowledge underworld might be harder, but streetwise would probably help you find somebody. Yeah, what would it be for Streetwise? So you're on Coruscant, uh you're wanting to stay within the Minari Heights district, probably not wanting to stray too far from the spaceport. Uh so to find uh an illicit goods dealer would probably be fairly uh difficult here, but it might not be difficult depending on where you're looking, because there could be a lot of bugs crawling around under this rock. So we'll call it a two purple and two black street-wise.

SPEAKER_10 1:13:11

Just when I thought we were in agreement, we're not looking for an actual bug.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:15

What about five failure and four advantage?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:20

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:21

What about underworld?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:23

Um, underworld would increase the difficulty by one.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:26

What do we have for desktop? With the black?

SPEAKER_10 1:13:28

So don't worry about it. I got four success, one advantage. Oh Jesus.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:33

Oh man, Starzan's got it. He sees a bug and he's like, I know what to do. Yeah, he sees a bug starts following it.

SPEAKER_10 1:13:40

That's exactly what happens, yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:43

You start following a trail of ants.

SPEAKER_10 1:13:46

They know where they found it. They found it for me.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:49

Yeah, we're like trying to figure out how to how to look for it, and Starzan just starts wandering away.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:54

It's just like Starzen, Starzen! As you guys are looking around, Starzen, you notice something, like a like a kind of like a wriggly, like semi-transparent, like white thing, like crawling over the edge of a ledge down. And you can go and look. And you can see that there is um a type of insect. Uh it's got way too many legs, but it's uh it's a type of creature called a Kohan, which um is this like a poisonous like millipede thing that uh sometimes like it's not from Coruscant, but uh people have been known to raise Kohuns and use their venom as a type of poison, uh, or sometimes just to use Kohans themselves as assassination tools. Oh. So like why is this thing just running around? Maybe like there's some wherever it's going, maybe it was like somebody who owned it who owns a shop is nearby. But if you follow this thing down a few layers of city, uh through like walkways and ladders and you can eventually follow this thing down low enough until you get to this kind of like dingy alley that is nestled in between two blocks of city where there are some suspiciously nondescript looking businesses.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:25

Hmm.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:26

Is there one that looks the most suspiciously nondescript? Um, Chris, you got failure with advantage. Uh so you didn't find this place, but once you get down there, uh you can identify which of these businesses, these quote unquote legitimate businesses, will have what you're looking for.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:48

Okay. Am I able to kind of discern uh uh between them?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:54

Yeah, you can you can find the one like there there are businesses where it's like that's a fake restaurant where l they'll get mad at you for uh ordering a pizza because it's a money laundering operation. That is a brothel, that is oh, the things we're looking for.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:11

Okay. Uh the things that we're looking for uh over in that penny arcade over there.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:17

Okay, let's go get us a bug.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:19

So you can enter what appears to be an arcade. Uh nobody is in there throwing their coins into the various video machines, and there is a like quote-unquote prize area. And you can see like the Kohan like skittering back behind this desk where a like withered old bored-looking Rhodian with like a black bandana with some type of logo, potentially a gang sigil, is uh like just trying to fritter away the time, just like tapping his hands on the glass of the prize case. His suction cup finger sometimes getting like stuck to it.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:06

What's in the prize case?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:08

Quote unquote prizes.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:11

I'm just imagining there's just bags of impact hanging in the background of the uh uh prize area there, like stuffed dolls. Yeah, they're there.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:20

You could probably get a teddy bear full of drugs. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:24

Calloset's eyes just go big as saucers.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:27

Canner like computers or education or whatever to see if uh they have what we need.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:33

Um yeah, so you're looking for a uh surveillance device?

SPEAKER_09 1:17:39

Hello. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:40

Hello, madame.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:40

We are looking we're looking to uh infest uh a certain place, and then I I I point at my nose. And I'm like, no no no no, not like that, not like that. But like not like that. We're look we're we're listening we're wanting we're wanting a place we're wanting a thing so that we can listen to other people from other rooms.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:06

You want a surveillance device, honey?

SPEAKER_09 1:18:09

Yes, please.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:10

Alright, that'll be sixty tickets.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:15

Do do I have to play one of the games in order to uh get these tickets? Can I dance dance revolution?

SPEAKER_04 1:18:22

These are prizes, honey. You gotta buy 'em with tickets.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:28

How how much is a ticket?

SPEAKER_04 1:18:31

That depends on the game. Okay. What are the games? Well, we got beat-em-ups over there. We got spin balls over there. We got love machines over there.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:46

Ah, the love machine. I'll take that one. I'm gonna go ahead and use the love tester. I can romance the fuck out of this machine.

SPEAKER_10 1:18:57

Do they have whack-a-mole?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:58

Yeah, they do have uh whack-a-mole.

SPEAKER_10 1:19:01

I'm gonna- I'm gonna do that with uh my bare hands.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:04

Just gonna walk up and just start smashing the Can I charm the uh uh love machine into giving me some tickets?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:11

So the way this appears to work is that uh you put money into the machine and it immediately spits out tickets.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:19

Uh come on, you could give me a few more tickets than that, can't you? It's fixed. I've been so not I've been so uh I've been so good to you. Why can't you g be good so good to me? Are you romancing a machine? Yes. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:36

Romancing the mechanical fortune teller.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:39

I never felt it this way about anybody before. I love that must be. Five more credits, please.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:46

So it does not really matter what machine we put them in, we will just get the same amount of tickets regardless.

SPEAKER_10 1:19:54

The ticket machine is like, you look like a good Joe. You look lonely.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:01

I bet you say that to all the slot machines.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:06

So a uh if you're looking for a concealed recorder? Yeah. Uh so that uh the Rhodian she said is 60 tickets, uh, which would come to 200 credits you'd have to put in to get 60 tickets.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:21

Ooh, how much does everyone have?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:23

465.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:25

Oh, yeah, you get it.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:26

Yeah, oh I'll be daddy.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:29

Yeah, yeah, daddy. I only got 150. I spent all my money on impact.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:35

Uh well then. We need by the way, we need to we need to uh figure out a way that we could be funded. You're funded by the state. Yeah, but we haven't we haven't received any money yet.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:46

Well, after this job, I bet they're gonna stop they're putting us up in an apartment. I bet they're gonna start paying us.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:51

We need at least a Perdim.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:53

Yeah. Daddy can have. I can I can get a I can get more of my stuff. We'll keep we'll keep Daddy and Linens.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:01

Anyways, I have paid. So you can uh put in the money and it spits out the tickets. You can take it to the Rodian and she says, Here's your prize, honey. She hands you a uh what appears to be like a space talkboy. Uh, or at least that's what the box says. Uh, but if you open it up, it is a uh small, uh, easily concealable listening device. Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:30

Let's uh let's go meet our uh uh let's go meet her Jedi then.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:35

Yeah, let's go back up and plant this thing before their meat egg. Anything else I can get is honeys. I bet Chris would like a kiss.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:44

Did you used to work next door?

SPEAKER_09 1:21:47

I had a lot of jobs. She she had a full and fulfilling life, I see. Au revoir, mademoiselle. Until anyone.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:01

I don't ask her that. Let's go back up.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:05

So after uh purchasing this concealed recorder from this shady shop run by an old Rhodian woman who may or may not be part of a gang, uh, you can return back to the spaceport.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:18

Yay, he's not turned up there yet, has he? Or has he?

SPEAKER_03 1:22:22

It doesn't seem like it. It seems like the situation has not been resolved. He might be lurking around somewhere. Well, not necessarily lurking. He might be around somewhere. He might be lurking, you don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:31

Roll perception to see if we can spot anyone lurking.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:34

Okay, so this would be against a like a Jedi stealth. So that would be uh three purple perception.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:41

That feels like it's not hard enough for a Jedi stealth.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:44

Who's the skullest of Duggaries? I mean, Jedi don't usually sneak around.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:49

That's true.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:51

Usually, unless they're hiding something, of course.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:53

And if Kyle, if you're doing this, you can throw your black on there.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:55

Uh, but I can remove my black because I have keen eyed. Ha ha ha ha ha. One success two threat.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:01

So you got those threat, you can see him, uh, but you can see him like getting out of a Jedi transport and heading into like the spaceport building to meet with the portmaster.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:14

Ah shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:15

Uh, how far away is he? Uh, from where you are, where you're climbing up, he'd be like medium range probably.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:22

Starzan, how fast can you run? Maybe you just like run up and slap him on the ass real fast and s put the device on there. And then just keep running like you're doing a college prank.

SPEAKER_10 1:23:31

I've I'm just be on your morning run or something.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:23:35

Just like give him uh Oh like a baseball pass. A friendly slap on the ass.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:42

Let's send the most descript person to do this.

SPEAKER_10 1:23:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:46

Is he a body stops as a fastest? Is he carrying spanked by He-Man?

SPEAKER_09 1:23:56

It's dear.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:57

No one will ever believe you.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:00

Is the guy that we're trying to bug carrying anything right now, like books or anything like that? Uh he's a Jedi, so no, he's just he's just carrying his his robes, I guess. Drop it in his hood. If there's a way to like bump into him and like uh play is the is the bug itself can it be like just stuck on if you like pat him or anything like that?

SPEAKER_03 1:24:19

Uh yeah, it is it is designed to be hidden on things, so it does it can it is like kind it's not like sticky, but it can stick.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:27

Like, would it be skullduggery to plant this on him? Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:24:30

Who has the best skull skull?

SPEAKER_02 1:24:34

I have three green. It is cunning, so I'd have to add a black though.

SPEAKER_10 1:24:39

I also have three green. I uh nope. Chris. Oh, it is really me. It is it is you. I mean you might want to flip a desk, you might want to flip a destiny. I really am the most nondescript member of the party somehow. I do have a rank himself.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:58

He's gonna be so distracted by you that he won't even notice that he had a bug put on him.

SPEAKER_10 1:25:04

But I feel like there'd be follow-up questions. Why did he man slap my ass?

SPEAKER_09 1:25:09

You don't have to slap my head.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:10

You just keep on running.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:13

Oh, wait, if you slap his ass, I could probably Well, no, wait, I'm not a liar, never mind.

SPEAKER_10 1:25:18

Blue stealth check. Because a giant man is sexually assaulting him. Is that what we're proposing? I do.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:33

I'm just saying. Hold on a second. So, Hazan, you do have the best cutting for this right now.

SPEAKER_10 1:25:38

With this stupid plan in mind, could I add my quick strike? Because I will he is not active. My my favorite thing.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:56

My genuine favorite thing is that it doesn't need to be that stupid, but we're sticking with it. Because like you could just pat him on the back or like bump into him as you're running, but no, you're just like uh do I do I cup it or what do I do?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:12

Yeah, but I like it better for a star time to run by and be like, good game, bronn slap him on the ass, and he's like, what game?

SPEAKER_06 1:26:20

Thank you for your service.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:21

How how much how far did I start to service? How how far into the credit card uh should I make this hand go? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:34

Follow your heart.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:37

Put in his hood. Yeah, you could just put it in his OB or whatever the fuck he's got.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:41

Yeah, he's got he's got a cloak with a with a hook.

SPEAKER_10 1:26:44

Okay, yeah, I'll I'll You don't have to do the dumbest thing. How about we let the roller decide how cleverly I hide it?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:53

So this is gonna be a skullduggery. Uh you could probably uh move as quickly as you need to to uh move up to him. So this is gonna be a skullduggery to get it to him. Uh you will have to cover a lot of distance, so that is gonna add a black. I thought you were gonna say a lot of ass.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:11

You have to cover a lot of ass.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:12

This is gonna be uh against his vigilance. Okay. He does have uh the uncanny reactions ability, which allows him to add two blue tall vigilance checks. So in this case, that's gonna add two more blacks.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:26

Can can hear more how many blacks in total?

SPEAKER_03 1:27:29

Uh one just for like you have a long way to go, so we might see you. Okay. So this is going to be against two red, two purple, and three blacks skullduggery.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:41

We got destiny!

SPEAKER_09 1:27:43

We got destiny. Can can we uh can we assist him in any way? Let's see. I'm guessing quick strike is not gonna work.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:49

Uh if you want to throw quick strike on there, you can.

SPEAKER_10 1:27:52

Oh fuck yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:53

It is it is quite a hefty desk dice pool.

SPEAKER_10 1:27:55

So that is a blue. And then is there anything they can do to help? I'm just gonna spend a destiny for sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:01

But uh plausible deniability, know somebody. Because I think it would it would involve outing the rest of your group if like if you want to distract them or something.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:09

I mean, unless like two of us pretend that we're we're getting in a fight and draw attention. Hey Callie.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:15

Can any of you do a convincing uh Mon Calamari or Quarian accent? Chris? Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:26

How does Mon Calamari sound like that? That's a drop. I mean, some of them just sound like newfies. Oh, oh fuck yeah, buddy. Oh fuck yeah, bud. You think you can uh just bump into me like that and think that there's nothing fucking wrong with ya? Oh buddy for a fucking a walloping of a fucking lifetime, bud.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:46

I thought you had material out I mean it's Eastern Canada clo well, it's close enough. I'll I'll pretend to loudly get in a fight with Chris.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:00

So do you wanna do you wanna get in a fight with Chris or do you want to start something between the refugees?

SPEAKER_02 1:29:04

I I don't feel like we should be starting anything between the refugees because like that has the potential to get out of hand real fast.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:11

Yeah, whereas like you know, we we could just fight amongst ourselves. Yeah, we're just two assholes.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:16

Then the Jedi would have to do his job and he wouldn't.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:19

Because you are still wearing the garb of the exploration core, so he might like recognize that.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:25

How much is Starzan wearing?

SPEAKER_03 1:29:28

Well, no, if I guess you guys, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:31

I mean maybe we can go around a corner so he can hear us but not quite see us.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:38

Yeah, it's not a bad idea. How far is he away from us right now?

SPEAKER_03 1:29:43

Um, he's medium range, so you'd have to get into short. Okay. That's you can you could probably get away with doing that. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 1:29:50

Alright, so you guys go first before I roll, because then maybe you'll modify my roll.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:56

Okay, so what so you guys can add a blue onto his role from that then.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:00

Listen, I'm just telling you we should've stopped for fuel on Nashadama.

SPEAKER_08 1:30:04

Oh, Nashadama this, Nashadama that. Oh, yo, fuck fuck no bud. Nashadama, Nashadana is nuts.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:12

Will you never take me anywhere nice? So I have to settle for Nashadama.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:17

Oh, I take I take you to the bar. I take you to the restaurant, I take you to the movies, I take you to Tim Hortons.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:26

The restaurant, the movies, never the space hockey game.

SPEAKER_08 1:30:31

Oh, you want to go to the space hockey game? So that you can look at all the bo so that you can look at all the boys in their jerseys? Oh fuck no, bud.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:39

Fuck yes, bud. You know now what I'm after now. Is that enough?

SPEAKER_08 1:30:45

Oh, you fucking piece of shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:48

I'm really into those hockey romances these days.

SPEAKER_08 1:30:52

Oh, you fucking Yuri on ice, bud. You're on thin ice. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:58

Yuri on thin ice.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:00

That is pretty good.

SPEAKER_09 1:31:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:04

Will that be enough to give Starzan a bonus?

SPEAKER_09 1:31:06

Yeah, that'll be enough. I'm hoping so.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 1:31:09

What what does that give me?

SPEAKER_01 1:31:10

Uh, that gives you a bonus.

SPEAKER_10 1:31:13

Two blues. Alright. Decay does three blacks. I already have. Alright, right on. Well, five failures. But one advantage. Well.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:26

One advantage!

SPEAKER_09 1:31:28

You fucking trip and the bug flies into his neck in a collar.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:34

So as you're approaching, like, you're kind of sneaking up on him, and that clone soldier that was talking to you earlier catches up to him and like starts talking to him, and you can't, as you're approaching, you can't really hear what he's saying. But uh, Master Solosar, he like the clone points at your shuttle, and the Jedi turns around and looks at it, and then he sees you. And the clone says, Yes, this was uh one of the SBI agents who was uh wanting to talk to you, I think. Bh.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:09

How how how much did you cup his ass? Um God?

SPEAKER_10 1:32:15

Uh I don't think you were close enough. You've pointed out his ass yet. Okay. I take my hand that is like cupped into my side and like raise it up and go, Starzan, the Starzarian.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:31

Envoy from the planet Egrice. And he looks you up and down and he says, Starzan, huh? Uh, those look like looks like they used to be uh service core robes. You uh you with the s you with the Jedi?

SPEAKER_10 1:32:44

Once or should I just say yes, that we're with we're uh We're pretty we're pretty much with the Jedi. I'll just I'll just spill the beans. We are service corps.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:54

Service Corps, huh? Uh I didn't know that they uh they send you guys off to the uh the front. Um what are you what are you uh you wanted to talk to me or something? Yes.

SPEAKER_09 1:33:06

I just want to send you to very pat him on the shoulder and like put a bug on him or something.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:15

Yeah, I can Sorry, I'm not exactly understanding what you're what you're wanting here.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:20

Starzan, just big fan. I love you. Well, thank you, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:29

Uh would okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:34

He awkwardly holds his hand out to shake yours. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:33:39

Oh I will I will like take him in a meaty embrace so that I can put the tracker on.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:45

You can you can take him in a meaty embrace and like slap him on the back with the tracker. Yes. Okay, alright, Starzin. Um good to good to meet you, I guess. Yes, good luck on uh whatever it is you're you're here to do.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:02

Good job, Starzan. You did it.

SPEAKER_10 1:34:04

Yes. Best of luck with what you do. May the moons protect you.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:12

May the force be with you, Starzan.

SPEAKER_10 1:34:14

May the force be with you and also your spirit.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:18

Bide an evil pyramid.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:20

And too tired. Those of you who were listening in as uh Rannick goes away, you could just hear him say, What a weird guy.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:31

Interesting character. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:33

Okay, let's listen in to this meeting. So you can listen into the meeting um between Rannick Solosar and the portmaster. And the conversation um seems to largely be about the refugee situation, what he's gonna do to help. And Rannick says, you know, he's working on it, he's gonna get to it, he's uh gonna try and do what he can here. Uh, but he he he's dealing with something with the shell dwellers at the moment that's kind of taking his priority that he needs to finish up first before he can settle things between the refugees. And the portmaster seems to be getting a little like angry at this. Like the shell dwellers haven't been a problem. The shell dwellers have been uh, you know, staying on the under levels. Why do they need why do you need to bother with the shell dwellers now? We have like refugees that are almost at each other's throat. But the Jedi, he seems pretty adamant that he's not going to do anything before whatever he's dealing with with these shell dwellers is resolved.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:38

Would we have any idea what that might refer to?

SPEAKER_03 1:35:41

Is that like a slur? Three purple and a blue, we'll say.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:48

Oh, three purple and a blue.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:50

One advantage.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:52

Is intellect one of the ones that I get a black on? Yeah. Ah shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:56

Uh Knowledge Underworld.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:58

One failure, one advantage. What is my underworld?

SPEAKER_10 1:36:03

Uh one success, two threats.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:06

Uh two failure. Two failure. So, Starzan, like that, it does sound familiar. Uh, it's like the shell dwellers, like, like in the back of your mind, it's like, oh, the shell dwellers. That was something, like, something's like, where did I hear that or where did I see that before? Illyria and Kala, uh, you got advantage. So you kind of are getting the same feeling. You don't really know, but you know that um with that advantage, sometimes the layers that are kind of just below the surface of Coruscant are called the shell. Oh. And Starzan, you get the feeling that like you've seen or heard something about the shell dwellers like not too long ago. Like, where did you see that? Maybe oh, maybe it was that old woman with the gang bandana. Maybe she was part of the shell dwellers.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:57

I think it should be like the crust of the planet, and you can call them cresties.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:02

Crusty.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:03

She was pretty crusty. Like, would it be people who lived underneath the planet's crust, like way, way down? Well, they live in the shell. I'm trying to understand what that means with regards to Coruscant, though.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:14

So the top level of buildings, that's like the surface. But that little slice of like whenever the surface of Quarsant moves up, there's that thin layer of what used to be the top that becomes kind of degentrified. And that's known as the shell.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:33

I gotcha, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:35

So it's like after all the rich people move up, there's a bit of a power vacuum in the area just below that.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:41

Hmm. Okay. Cause if he has to go and deal with the shell dwellers, like we could maybe keep trying to like trail him, or we go talk to that old Rhodian lady.

SPEAKER_10 1:37:52

Old Rodian. Old Rodian.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:54

You want to go back to the old Rhodian?

SPEAKER_09 1:37:57

Can we uh are we able to listen to what's going on?

SPEAKER_03 1:38:01

Yeah, it's mostly uh him saying that he's like, you know what, I'm not gonna deal with this right now. We've had our meeting, our time's up, I'm gonna go do my Jedi business.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:10

Yeah, because he still has a listening device on him. So if he's going to deal with something else elsewhere, we'd like we could keep trailing him and listening into his activities.

SPEAKER_09 1:38:20

Yeah, just kind of keep one ear, uh one ear on him and the other ear on whatever current our current situation is. Yeah, let's go let's go visit the old Rhodian lady.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:31

Because I I will have you know I am an expert tracker, so if we do have to keep hunting him.

SPEAKER_10 1:38:37

You will find him.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:38

I will find him.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:40

Starzan, you seem really excited about the prospect of talking to the old Rhodian lady again. Why don't we go talk to her again?

unknown 1:38:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:47

Okay, so you can just for you.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:50

Retrace your steps back down through the series of uh ladders and walkways that led you down to where this illicit goods shop is. And you can see, like, on whatever device you're using to monitor the listening device, is like it's circling around it near you, and you can see like the the Jedi speeder that he arrived in is like going down to that same area. So that little that little crusty uh street, he seems to be headed there or somewhere nearby there. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:25

Who who who's best at uh following?

SPEAKER_02 1:39:28

It would probably be me.

SPEAKER_10 1:39:31

I have one green, one yellow.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:33

For stealth? For stealth. I have three green, so. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:37

I I have a yellow and three green for stealth. If it's like trying to track follow him without being noticed once he lands.

SPEAKER_06 1:39:45

Have I ever been good at stealth in any of these too green?

SPEAKER_02 1:39:50

I feel like I asked him was. Also, again, I have expert tracker, so if we do need to like pinpoint exactly where he's going, I could probably roll for that.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:59

Let's track him, let's see what's up. Okay, so if you want to uh follow him, that would probably be perception. Okay. So that would be a perception. Um that'd be a three purple perception.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:13

Three purple. Uh expert tracker just lets me uh remove a black. That's fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:20

Well, you do have that black on from uh your dune dune perception or is it all of us?

SPEAKER_02 1:40:27

I think it would just be me. No, my my keen eye already removes that black, so it's fine. What do we have for Destiny?

SPEAKER_03 1:40:33

Uh I think you've only used one, so you have three.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:36

I'm gonna flip one to get another yellow. Ooh! Two success, one threat, and a triumph!

SPEAKER_03 1:40:43

You can follow him. So he sets his speeder down uh on the edge of the street, and uh he kind of like hops out and heads uh down the street where you bought your surveillance device, but he doesn't go into the quote unquote penny arcade, he goes into the quote unquote pizza restaurant that is obviously a money laundering operation. You can follow him, but you got that threat. So as you're as you're following him, it's like he's going in there, you can listen in the in the listing device. They did sell drugs in that penny arcade.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:23

Kala Suches gets distracted, it's just like I could use some more impact.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:28

Give me a give me a discipline. Give me a one purple discipline. You only got one threat.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:33

Discipline. One purple discipline? Yeah, three success and one threat. I can resist.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:38

You're on the job, but you take some strain because you'd really like to not be adding blacks onto all those roles.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:46

It's fine. I'm fine. We can meditate later, like Master Hall and always said I should.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:52

So, uh, he goes into this quote-unquote pizza restaurant, and you can hear him and you can see him like through the window having a conversation with like the guy at the counter, and he's saying to this guy, like, hey, you know, I've I'm trying to stall things as much as I can, but I have to do my job. Let me talk to your boss. Ooh. And the guy at the counter, he he seems pretty, pretty reluctant, and you can hear and see through the window the uh the telltale Jedi motion of taking his lightsaber off his belt and putting it on the counter as like, hey, I'm not messing around anymore. But the the guy, the guy at the counter, like it seems that they've got this Jedi either like working for a criminal or something, and Solosark eventually he gets turned away and he comes out. He doesn't see you, but he you know flips his hood up so he doesn't get made, and he kind of just like paces back and forth in an alley looking very concerned.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:03

Oh. Should we talk to him? Should we blackmail him? Could this hmm? Cause if we're going an entire like just technicality.

SPEAKER_09 1:43:13

Should should we should we like r uh like we're already kind of like recording everything that this guy is doing here? Um are we like handing it in to our superiors or are we taking him down ourselves?

SPEAKER_03 1:43:28

I think he said like if he's doing anything that's like Yeah, you have the authority to detain him if he's doing anything that's a danger to the community, or if he's breaking any laws. If he's if if he's just like doing like stuff that like a Jedi shouldn't be doing but isn't illegal or harmful, then it's like okay, you can just report that back, but Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:50

But like he is working with the he is working with criminals, it would seem.

unknown 1:43:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:56

And it is interfering with his ability to actually look out for the community that he is stationed to patrol. What do we say? Confrontation?

SPEAKER_10 1:44:04

Confrontation.

SPEAKER_09 1:44:06

Uh yeah, let's confront. We could confront. I'll confront him.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:10

Use that golden tongue of yours, Chris. Make him sing.

SPEAKER_10 1:44:14

Tug him dance.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:16

Hello, sir. He grabs the lightsaber off his belt and activates it.

SPEAKER_09 1:44:20

What do you want? Oh no. Oh, no, no, no, don't sit. No, it's okay. I'm jumping. I am uh I am here because I have some questions. It's okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:29

Yeah, you got some questions?

SPEAKER_09 1:44:30

Who are you with? I'm me? I'm with my I am with myself. It's it's very lonely on Z Streets, and I saw the friendly face over here.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:41

And he kind of looks up and down, and he notices that he's seen that type of garb before, and he says, You with the service corps too? Yes, I am with the service corps. What do you guys want with me today?

SPEAKER_09 1:44:53

Honestly, we're just m uh we're just here to make sure that every uh that everything is copacetic here. Uh we're just here to use that Oh, we just want to be sure uh be sure that everybody is uh not a threat to uh each other or uh or ourselves.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:10

And wait, what what was that supposed to mean? Who's a threat? You think I'm a threat? I could be a threat to you, potentially. You say you're with the service corps, how do I know you didn't kill some uh dropout flunky and take his robes, huh?

SPEAKER_09 1:45:25

You seem very You see you seem very uh uh standoffish.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:32

Yeah, some guy comes up to me in an alleyway and starts talking to me and says he's here to make sure I'm uh not any trouble. I think he's the one who's gonna be in trouble pretty soon, hey?

SPEAKER_09 1:45:41

Again, you're being very defensive.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:44

While Chris is talking to this guy, would I be able to kinda climb up to the roof of the pizza place and just like uh line up a shot on him just in case? Jesus. Cause it seems like this might be going sideways right quick.

SPEAKER_09 1:46:00

I'm not I'm not here for one thing or the other. I just want to know what you're doing. And if it's not, and if it's not, and if it's not a malicious thing, or if it's not a deadly thing, then if you can explain uh explain yourself, then we can just uh move on our way and say that you're here for the good of mankind.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:19

So uh Cala, you're you're trying to find climbing up uh somewhere where you can get like a vantage point? Yeah. So, okay. So he as you're doing this, this is a force power that like he may not be using it consciously, it may be like a passive thing that he's doing. But as you're doing that, he is kind of like positioning himself so that Chris's head is always in your crosshairs.

SPEAKER_09 1:46:44

How is he doing that? Interesting. Even even if I go even if I like uh kind of step out of the way a little bit, he just sort of like follows with me. Yeah. In that line.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:56

And he says, look, you say with you're with the service core, do you have any credentials or anything?

SPEAKER_09 1:47:01

Uh absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:02

Do we have a badge?

SPEAKER_02 1:47:04

And we have that uh the thing that the SBI guy gave to us.

SPEAKER_10 1:47:08

You have that like Mulder from the name.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:11

My name is Cressant F S B I. And what do you show him? I I I I show him I kind of plug the data key into a data pad and I just kinda like show him the thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:26

Yeah, this is uh key to a theta class shuttle. That's what ambassador stuff?

SPEAKER_09 1:47:29

I mean, that doesn't prove you are who you say you are, but we didn't receive our uh it seems as though we did not receive our badges yet.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:38

Yeah, this is a new thing.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:40

Yeah, like you're you're a Jedi, you can re you can read my mind. What do you uh can do you think you can read my mind?

SPEAKER_03 1:47:47

And I mean, it's rude to do it uh without permission, but if you're giving me consent.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:51

Uh I got really nothing to hide here. I'm as confused as everybody. I give you my consent.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:57

Yeah, of course you don't know why I'm up here, right?

SPEAKER_09 1:47:59

I don't know you're up there.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:01

Yeah, I didn't communicate that.

SPEAKER_09 1:48:02

No, yeah, I don't know you're up there.

SPEAKER_06 1:48:04

Can I just walk out and be like, hey, why have you been here for twelve years?

unknown 1:48:09

Hey.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:09

He moves his lightsaber over, like, whoa. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_06 1:48:15

I'm sorry, I I I hate to watch this. I I just want to know.

SPEAKER_10 1:48:19

She just tweeted it out. I'd been following him for days, and she just tweeted it out.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:24

He even you scared me as uh Jesus. So he uses the sense power uh to sense your thoughts, Chris, and he says, Alright, seems like you might be telling the truth. I'm not sensing that you're lying to me, though this is a very strange situation, but um I mean I this is a very strange situation for me. I guess it kind of had to come out eventually, huh? Just tell me just tell me it's the truth. Look and we can work through this. Look, I don't I just want you to promise me one thing that whatever happens, um I d I just still wanna okay. I just still wanna stay in touch, okay? You you just don't want to see it?

SPEAKER_09 1:49:00

I want to stay in touch. Um Oh, you want to stay in touch with the Jedi or No.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:05

Uh so you asked me why I've been here for twelve years. Well, I got a uh I got a family in the sector.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:12

I gotta I knew it!

SPEAKER_03 1:49:13

I don't say that, but I in the I got a I got a I got a wife and a little boy, uh, my son Cam. And I've kinda on and off been I know I sh I know it's stupid as hell, and I know I shouldn't, and but you know, I've been kind of training him a little bit. And when I went to Geonosis, the shell dweller boss, Cold Cutty, swooped in and kidnapped my family, put me over a fucking barrel. Excuse- excuse my basic, but he uh I'm just one guy. I can't go to the Jedi. They'll they'll kick me out, they I won't be able to see my kid. They'll probably pick up my kid, throw him into the war. I don't know what. And I can't, you know, I can't go to anyone else for help. I'm I'm just one guy. I can't go after the entire shell dweller gang on my own.

SPEAKER_09 1:49:56

I feel like I I feel like he's telling the truth. Can I proceed? Though as best as I can. I'm not a great perceptionist, but Yeah, uh it'll be a too randomist. Total wash. I my uh my empathy uh makes it seem as though I want to uh trust uh trust him with this. It seems reasonable, I guess. Unless somebody else uh wants to roll a perception, they might be better at me than me. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 1:50:26

Why did you choose to have a family even though that is against the teaching of the Jedi?

SPEAKER_02 1:50:30

Yeah, interrogate him, Elyria.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:33

Get 'em. Look, sometimes things just happen, you know?

SPEAKER_08 1:50:37

Uh I Yeah, sometimes things just happen, Elyria. Sometimes you're not going to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:41

You're protecting a place and the people within that place, you gotta care about that place, and you gotta care about those people. And sometimes you start to care, maybe a little more than you should, and one thing leads to another, and uh I I don't know what to tell you. Uh but now that it happened, I don't I don't want my son to get drafted into the war, you know?

SPEAKER_06 1:51:00

I mean I don't know because I follow the doctrine.

SPEAKER_09 1:51:04

Quite you. Listen, I I tr I trust you. I I I think you uh uh are absolutely correct. I think you are right. Um I feel as though and I'm not 100%, but I feel as though the best uh best thing that you can do, though. If you want to uh continue to help us, you might uh you may need to uh do you have a good place where you might be able to hide your family?

SPEAKER_03 1:51:38

Well, uh we have a home here, but obviously that's not safe anymore. Uh maybe get him off world. My wife's not from here originally, maybe they could go to her family, but even that I don't know if that's safe anymore. But with everything that's going on. But look, I I looked at the side. You guys are with you're with the SBI and the service corps? Hmm. Alright. How about this? You help me get my family back. Let me put them on a shuttle-off world. I'll uh I'll go back to the Jedi, tell them what happened. And then uh whatever they want to do to me, they can do to me.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:12

Because I I I don't get the feeling like I this guy is gonna need to die, so I'm just gonna yell down from the roof. Just like, uh like what exactly are you planning to tell the Jedi about what happened then?

SPEAKER_03 1:52:22

Well, I'm gonna tell him I made a mistake, that I uh Hello, by the way. Uh Hi.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:29

Sorry, I'm not gonna sh- I'm not gonna shoot you. I don't think you need to get shot, so I figured I'd just like, you know.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:34

Starzan comes through the wall going like, Oh fuck you up!

SPEAKER_03 1:52:38

I suppose that uh that very huggable fellow is around here somewhere too. Big fan.

SPEAKER_10 1:52:44

I'll just like golump forward. Just remember whatever hiding place.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:48

Big fan.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:50

I see that may not be the case. But yeah, so I think I'm just gonna tell the Jedi the truth. What I uh that I broke the code. I'll accept um excommunication, whatever the consequences are. But I'll also tell them that uh that their family, hopefully, by the time this is all resolved, they're beyond the Jedi's reach. And I don't think they're gonna waste resources tracking down one little shuttle just to get a uh twelve-year-old kid who's too old to begin training anyway.

SPEAKER_09 1:53:20

Honestly, I'm kinda I'm kinda for I'm for it. I don't think I don't think they should try to uh uh try and get your family in here. It's it sucks. Uh having your child stolen away from you. I'm I I I get you, and I'll even I'm sure you all have parents who miss you. Well I uh so we're acquainted.

SPEAKER_06 1:53:55

My wires are all crossed with like between Star Wars and Dragon Age. I'm just like, can you be can you be excommunicated? Can you just be like a guy? You don't go to they don't like put you in wizard jail?

SPEAKER_02 1:54:07

Yeah, you can just like leave the Jedi Order as far as I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:10

If you're an adult, they'll let you leave, but if you're a minor, they shuffle you off to to work on a farm.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:17

Listen, it's just the- We're adults now, can we just like go live our life?

SPEAKER_03 1:54:21

I mean, that's kind of what you're doing. Like, legally speaking, you're not under the jurisdiction of the Jedi during wartime.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:26

Yeah. I'm sorry, Illyria. What fucking transferable skills do you have? I know I don't have many.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:31

Astrogation. Medic medicine.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:36

And like, cause okay, every like obviously this guy can't continue to be a Jedi. Sorry, uh, Salasaw, you seem fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:45

Well look, we were here to- I get it. Maybe I don't want to be a Jedi no more anyway.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:49

Yeah, like you definitely can't take on a Padawan. You definitely can't stay in charge of this neighborhood, but like Aren't there regular cops?

SPEAKER_09 1:54:59

Well, what good does they?

SPEAKER_02 1:55:00

You could be a regular cop, Illyria? Wow.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:04

Yeah, but half of them are droids, and you know how droids are.

SPEAKER_09 1:55:07

Ah, yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:08

I know what you mean. Do you? How many of your friends did you see droids kill last week?

SPEAKER_02 1:55:15

I mean, we saw a lot of like weird inbred people last week. I feel like it was probably as traumatizing.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:21

In the service core?

SPEAKER_02 1:55:22

Yeah. Yeah. Not in the service core, you know, like out doing a mission that we thought was for the serv is a long time.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:29

Yeah, we were AWOL. Yeah, I don't care about your story.

SPEAKER_09 1:55:32

Uh no, neither do I. It's okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:35

You'd okay, you know what you fucking Jedi could do with being less huge pricks all the time. It's not the point. I'm not thin skinned. I'm not upset. Listen, your family it doesn't sound like your family did anything wrong. We can let you get your family off world, but you gotta turn yourself into the Jedi. You gotta tell them you're sticking your lightsaber where it ought not have gone. And like, yeah, they'll probably kick you out.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:55

I mean, I think you can stick your lightsaber places as long as you're not attached.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:59

Okay, but I feel like having a family constitutes.

SPEAKER_10 1:56:04

Your pull-out game sucks.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:07

Yeah, couldn't you have just gone to that the house down the street here?

SPEAKER_03 1:56:11

Yeah. Where do you think I met her? With the Rhodian?

SPEAKER_06 1:56:14

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:16

Is she a Rhodian?

SPEAKER_10 1:56:18

No, she's human, like newt! Learn the power of foresight. Uh I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:29

But like, I don't know, what does everyone else think? Well, I'll have to keep an eye on you to make sure you don't just fucking flee the planet yourself. Like, your family goes, but you gotta stay and turn yourself in.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:39

Yeah, I I understand. That's fine. Um, you got that shuttle, you can drop me off at the temple yourself if you want.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:44

Damn, I thought we were just gathering information. Alright. Come on on come on with us.

SPEAKER_09 1:56:48

We are gathering information. We're successful in our gathering.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:52

We just got to yeah, we gotta- you said you'd help me free my family first.

SPEAKER_09 1:56:55

We're gonna help you free your family first. We need to go and free your family.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:59

Is your family trapped? Here, I I was thinking we were just gonna have to like buy them a couple shots.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:04

Oh shit, they Colcut kidnapped them, and they're holding them in the basement of that fucking pizza place. Excuse my basic again.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:10

Oh, I'm sorry, I was on top of the pizza place. It's hard to hear you up there. I'm still on the top of the pizza place.

SPEAKER_10 1:57:16

Are you saying there's some pizza conspiracy?

SPEAKER_02 1:57:19

Oh, some sort of pizza gate. What do you guys think? We shoot this place up?

SPEAKER_06 1:57:26

So we've just been exploring for uh a while, and I have a stick.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:37

What kinda what kind of plan do you have in order to rescue your family?

SPEAKER_03 1:57:41

Well, when it was just me, I didn't really have much of a plan, because I think that even if I go in there with my lightsaber blazon, they're gonna shoot me to death and then my family.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:49

But Do do you think we could take them as prisoners? And not not like literally, not actually, but you know, the old prisoner smuggle game.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:59

Wait, like take the pizza place owners as privil prisoners or the the family?

SPEAKER_09 1:58:03

His family. His family.

SPEAKER_06 1:58:05

We've come to take your prisoners as our prisoners.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:08

Please hand them over politely.

SPEAKER_09 1:58:10

Please. We have uh we have this piece of paper that tells us that we could take them. You can't read it.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:18

SBI, guys. I do what I want. Yes.

SPEAKER_06 1:58:23

Can we not kick down the door and go SBI? Get down.

SPEAKER_10 1:58:28

Official business.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:29

Is there a skylight that I could pop the muzzle of my gun through? Or at least peer inside and see how many people are in there?

SPEAKER_03 1:58:36

Like to the basement of the pizza place? No, there's no skylight in the basement of the pizza place.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:40

Is there anything to the top of the pizza place that presumably we would have to enter through?

SPEAKER_03 1:58:44

Well, there's like the window that you were looking through, like the big plate glass window where he was talking to the guy behind the counter who is running this money laundering operation. Okay, it was just like the one guy behind the counter? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:58:55

God damn, it's been so long since we've had to do a hostage situation in the basement.

SPEAKER_10 1:58:59

Hostage situation.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:01

Wait, what have we done a hostage situation in a basement before?

SPEAKER_06 1:59:05

Yes. When? I can't remember when, but we have.

SPEAKER_10 1:59:08

That's been a while.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:09

Who is the hostage?

SPEAKER_10 1:59:11

All of you probably.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:13

I guess we could if it's just the one guy in that, we could just kick down the door and be like, we're the SBI, bitch, get on the ground.

SPEAKER_10 1:59:20

Bad boys, bad boys. What you gonna do? What you gonna do when they come for you?

SPEAKER_03 1:59:26

And Rannicke says, Hey, look, uh, we might be able to take down that one guy, but the problem's gonna be that once we uh start making noise, they're gonna uh get real close to my family, and I don't want anything happening to them.

SPEAKER_06 1:59:39

Well, we can go in and order pizza and hit him in the head with a stick. Really hard, so he doesn't have time to cry out for help.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:49

Aw, catch this. Okay, you have a lightsaber, right? I do. Okay, look, I uh I look like I belong in places like this. Don't need you don't need a comment on that or why. This is it doesn't matter. I go in, I say, hey, I'm looking for a pizza, and I have your lightsaber, and when he gets a little bit too close, I just lift it up and turn it on and just like pop pop through his head.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:16

Well, you certainly don't have the countenance of a Jedi, say that.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:19

Thank you. Maybe. Or fuck you, whatever one. He already called us dropouts earlier. Yeah, man, you guys gotta stop doing that. It's fucking rude, you know?

SPEAKER_06 2:00:29

Rude.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:29

It's fucking rude.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:30

Look, some of us didn't continue.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:33

We committed our lives. Doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_09 2:00:36

Some of us just want to coast, but uh yes, it's still rude it still hurts when you say it.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:42

You can call croissant a dropout, not the rest of us.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:44

Okay, I see I touched a nerve there. I'm not gonna call you dropouts anymore.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:49

Thank you. So what do you say? You gonna ret gonna let me borrow your lightsaber, I'll give him a little pop-up, and then we go in, and you know, no one's the wiser.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:58

He seems hesitant to part with it, and he says, well, okay. But uh, if things uh things get hairy down there and something happens to me, I want you to see that gets to my son. And I want you to make sure that he's alive to get it.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:10

The lightsaber? Yeah. How old is his son? He's 12?

SPEAKER_03 2:01:14

12.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:14

I guess Yiken has a lightsaber. That's probably fine for a child to have. Okay, I'll calm him down for the roof. I can't tuck his lightsaber.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:27

Yeah, shouting loudly in the alley beside this pizza parlor, your plan.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:33

I gotta go in. No, I'll have calmed down a little while ago.

SPEAKER_09 2:01:38

I take out the instruction manual.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:45

Yeah, could I uh So he hands you his lightsaber, but he does kind of hesitate and he says, I didn't notice you were so sweaty from up there.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:55

You know what that's also rude to comment on? You know, they teach you so much of the Jedi Temple, not fucking manners, clearly.

SPEAKER_03 2:02:02

Hey, I'm a man on the street.

SPEAKER_02 2:02:04

Are you? Anyways, it doesn't matter. Can I kind of put the lightsaber up my sleeve, kinda pull my sleeves down? Make myself look extra shriveled inside my clothes.

SPEAKER_03 2:02:16

Yeah, this'll probably be a uh skullduggery against the uh guy who's running the joint.

SPEAKER_02 2:02:23

Okay. What's it gonna be?

SPEAKER_03 2:02:25

You're you're going in looking all shriveled. Uh what do you what do you say to him? He's like a he's like the hair he's either like some type of non-human or just like the hairiest dude you've ever seen. He's wearing like a like a space tank top and is just like fuzzy on the back, all down his arms. Thick, thick mustache. Not much up on top left anymore, but hey, what are you gonna do? Big red nose. He looks like uh he's very Wario coated.

SPEAKER_02 2:02:57

Could I like go up to the counter and kind of like rest my hands on the edge of the counter and just like really quietly be like, could I get a piece of pizza? What? Mm-hmm. You're gonna have to speak up. I because my goal is to get him to lean closer to me so I so he ha so he can hear it better.

SPEAKER_01 2:03:18

Speak up, raise your voice!

SPEAKER_02 2:03:20

Yeah do you have you have anything good f for f for me?

SPEAKER_03 2:03:26

What and he leans in. Give me a three purple uh skullduggery to see if he sees anything.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:32

Three purple?

SPEAKER_03 2:03:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:33

What do we have for destiny?

SPEAKER_03 2:03:35

You have two.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:36

I will flip one.

SPEAKER_03 2:03:38

Flip it.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:40

Three purple and a black, because it is cunning. Four success but two threat.

SPEAKER_03 2:03:49

So he doesn't notice anything, but as he's not noticing anything, you also notice like his posture is kind of weird. Uh, and you look like a drug addict that's kind of strung out. So you notice that he's got like he's not resting his hands like on the counter. He's got one back. Like, where it would be if he had like an under-the-counter blaster that he was holding onto.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:16

If he's leaning forward, can I just kind of angle my hand, like my arm with the lightsaber up and ignite it so it just kinda goes up under his chin and through his head? And maybe duck down.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:28

Yeah, give me a this would be a coordination.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:32

He's at he's kind of in engaged range with you. He does have his uh hand on a blaster probably, so that'll be a two purple and a black coordination. And I think an additional black for your Yeah, for me still being fucked up.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:43

So two purple, two black.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:45

God, I wish I had trucks right now. Um success, it counts.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:51

So the lightsaber flashes at the light and uh sticks him right through the throat and pops out the back of his head. Well fuck.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:00

Why don't that just stay there for one second, make sure we're really sizzling the brain, man?

SPEAKER_03 2:05:04

Yeah, it's like his brain is so fried that it's like his muscles don't even like you're you're sending energy and heat into his brain, so he stays standing, his muscles tensed until you turn it off, and then he falls.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:19

Oh, how can I leave it on and kind of like Starzan, can you grab his body so he doesn't fall with a great big thump onto the ground?

SPEAKER_10 2:05:28

I will catch him.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:29

You can you can catch him before uh he falls to the ground.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:33

I'll turn the lightsaber off once Starzan has him, and I'll give the lightsaber back to Solisar. Just look what you could do with a little ingenuity.

SPEAKER_03 2:05:43

Alright. Well that was the easy part. Now the hard part is the gang that's down there.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:47

Any idea how many people might be down there?

SPEAKER_03 2:05:50

Well, Coldcut's gonna be down there himself, probably, whoever uh he likes to hang his hat with, and of course, uh, my family might be a few extra guards down there because they are guarding a Jedi's wife and kid. I would say, uh, probably no less than ten guys. We can take them.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:08

Yeah, we can handle ten guys.

SPEAKER_09 2:06:10

In a fight, right? Oh no, I mean like just sneaking by them. Because we're very stealthy people.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:17

Do you you've never been in the basement, have ya?

SPEAKER_03 2:06:20

I have not. If I had, Coldcut wouldn't still be alive.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:23

Can I roll the seek power? Yeah. Cause if I can at least see, like, where in the basement his wife and family are.

SPEAKER_10 2:06:32

This is like um Arkham game vision.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:36

Yeah, determined my detective vision. I got two lightside, I can do it.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:41

Okay. So, um, you can't see exactly, but as you're like walking around through this uh the kitchen of this restaurant, you can kind of get sort of like hot and cold vibes, and you can find that like they are right under where like some of the kitchen cooking equipment is. Like the oven is like right on top of them.

SPEAKER_02 2:07:06

Hmm. Let's kind of point at my feet, just like, so they're down there. Like right down there. So Oh, unless like we go in, start killing these gods, and you just like cut in straight from above, get your wife and f uh wife and son, zip-zap-zoop them out the roof. Well, there's an oven in the way. Starzan could lift an oven.

SPEAKER_10 2:07:26

I can lift an oven. What do you think, big guy, you can lift an oven? I can throw it across the stars. I can lift an oven, baby.

SPEAKER_09 2:07:35

I can throw it across the stars.

SPEAKER_02 2:07:37

Starzan lift the oven. We cut a hole, get the family out, and if any gangsters try to f follow us, Starzan throws the oven.

SPEAKER_10 2:07:44

I will lift the oven.

SPEAKER_03 2:07:46

So this is like this is like a this isn't just like a kitchen oven, this is like a pizza oven. So this'll be a four-purple athletics uh to lift the oven. We'll throw uh I'll give you a destiny point on that. We'll call it a red and three purple because you you can't push it, because that'll be too loud. You have to like just fully pick it up without scraping.

SPEAKER_10 2:08:06

You know, I almost upd uh increased my athletics this time from like. No, you know what? Survival. Okay. I will also flip a destiny though.

SPEAKER_04 2:08:18

Right on.

SPEAKER_10 2:08:20

Uh no success, but a triumph and a threat.

SPEAKER_02 2:08:24

The oven is on wheels. Look at that!

SPEAKER_10 2:08:28

Or like, I break it in half.

SPEAKER_02 2:08:31

Now you have two ovens you can throw.

unknown 2:08:35

Two.

SPEAKER_09 2:08:37

You turn them into gloves like the fucking Hulk.

SPEAKER_02 2:08:39

I was gonna say your glovins. Your glovins.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:44

My name is McGlovin. McGlovin. Okay, so uh the oven is too heavy for you to lift, unfortunately. But as you're trying to like lift it, so you are like try at you're trying to like lift with your legs, but your arms are also huge and beefy. So like as you're lifting it, you are like digging your feet in, and that you're you're almost like using the oven as leverage in a weird way, where it's like the ground around your feet is starting to crack. Yeah, you could just like burst through if you if you lift hard enough, you would send yourself flying, like crashing through the floor into the basement just yourself. And that could be enough of a surprise where it's like, what the fuck is happening? Yeah, whoops, that might be. And the hole would probably be big enough for other people to drop down if if you wanted to do that.

SPEAKER_10 2:09:46

Yeah, let's go through.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:48

So you can you can lift try lifting this oven, draining, cracking the ground until it just gives way, and you drop through this big hole, uh, right through some pipes that start spraying water everywhere. You land, there's dust that goes flying, rubble that falls into this dank, uh, a den of scum and villainy, a sort of uh the place where the crime lord goes to relax and hang out with those closest to him, his inner circle. And there's water spraying everywhere from the pipes, everybody's like freaking out. Uh there's a lot of disarray that's going on. Everybody's kind of confused, so this could be a good opportunity. To attack, yeah. To start spring into action. To start swinging. Alright, give me uh give me a two-purple brawl. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 2:10:42

Two purple amateur hour.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:45

Yeah, most of most of these guys aren't super, super tough. Okay. Believe it or not, I don't have any rags in brawl. Or you do have your sword if you want to take that out and start chopping. Yeah, I'll get a sword. Yeah. Okay. True success. So you can uh start swinging at any of these gangsters that are nearby, slicing through like chairs and cards. They go like ducking, pulling out their blasters, trying to fire. Uh, but you hear somebody shout, Don't, don't harm the Jedi's rambling!

SPEAKER_02 2:11:16

Wait, he's yelling that at his people, right, with the guns?

SPEAKER_03 2:11:20

Because if they die, then the Jedi's got no reason to hold back.

SPEAKER_02 2:11:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:23

Do you guys want to jump down and help Starzan? We may as well. Am I able to find uh the family in question? Uh yeah, so he busted a hole right next to the oven. They're right below the oven, so he's like swinging. He's basically in front of them. They're they're like in a cage, and he's basically in front of them swinging at at criminals. While they're fighting, can I just sort of like try and get them out of here? Yeah, if you want to climb down into the hole. Uh give me a skullduggery to uh try and unlock their cage. Okay, let's see. Uh Uh be three purple with a black because there's a lot going on. Three purple with a black. That's not gonna be very good for me.

SPEAKER_02 2:12:08

Do you want me to try it? How is your skull doggery?

SPEAKER_09 2:12:11

It's it's one yellow and one green.

SPEAKER_02 2:12:14

Uh, you do have a rank in it. And I would be adding a black. You'll be fine.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:18

Uh two failure, two advantage. So, uh, you can't pick it, but like you are close enough to talk to them, and they're like, Who have who are you? Did Ranick send you?

SPEAKER_09 2:12:32

We are here to rescue you and be sure you and make sure you are safe out of uh and out of the way.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:39

Alright, well, uh, I I didn't want to reveal this, but uh and like the woman, presumably his wife, she turns around and she goes, and then she turns around holding a key. Hell yeah. I'll take it. You can take it and unlock the cell while everything else is going on. Uh so can you.

SPEAKER_09 2:13:08

Where did you f where did you find this and how did you how long did you have it for? You don't want to know. Oh, please tell me later. And then I open up the thing and I get them- I try and get them out of here. So what are Kala and Illyria up to?

SPEAKER_02 2:13:24

There is like the the big main mob boss, right? Who's down there?

SPEAKER_03 2:13:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:13:28

Can I try to get a headshot at him?

SPEAKER_03 2:13:31

Yeah, so you can drop down. Uh, there is a lot going on. It is quite dark in there. Uh, but you can see this quote-unquote cold cut. Uh he is a Simeong, a sort of chimpanzee-like alien with long elfy ears. And the reason he's called Cold Cut may be because you can see he's readying his signature weapon, a Rhodian cryogen. He's lashing out with it, shouting at the criminals under his care to uh be careful and to take out these interlopers, whoever you are.

SPEAKER_02 2:14:06

Yeah, could I could I take a strain to do an extra maneuver and just aim twice to do a headshot at him?

SPEAKER_03 2:14:13

Yeah, that would be uh calling your shot as well.

SPEAKER_10 2:14:16

You're gonna do an Indiana Jones.

SPEAKER_02 2:14:18

Kapow. Okay, so that would add. Would that add two one black or two blacks?

SPEAKER_03 2:14:23

Uh two blacks.

SPEAKER_02 2:14:24

Okay, and then I still have my extra black. What would that be against?

SPEAKER_03 2:14:28

So it is dark down here, so that's gonna add another black. Uh you are. This room isn't very big, so even if you're like kind of at one end and the other, though, it'd still probably be within short range. Uh, but he does have three ranks of adversary as a crime ward. Uh, so that is going to be a red, two purples, and three blacks.

SPEAKER_02 2:14:51

A red, two purples, three blacks. I don't suppose you this guy would count as a beast or animal, would he? Um. Would my hunter come into play? Yeah. Cause he is a champ man.

SPEAKER_03 2:15:08

I think being raised as a Jedi in a multicultural uh group, no, you would not consider him to be a beast or animal.

SPEAKER_02 2:15:20

Damn. What do we have for Destiny?

SPEAKER_03 2:15:22

You have one.

SPEAKER_02 2:15:23

Hmm. God, there are a lot of blacks, but I'll I'll say, but we might need it to actually get the family out of here. Ooh, one s one failure, but two advantage.

SPEAKER_03 2:15:34

So you can't headshot him. Uh, is there anything else you want to? You could potentially shoot the the cryo whip in his hand. Yeah, maybe I'll disarm him. So you can take his arm off. Yeah, you can blast the cryo whip in his hand, and it does like explode, and you can see like shards of ice like crawling up his arm, like freezing it, and he's like howling and hooting in pain. Ahoo! Uh, Illyria, what are you up to?

SPEAKER_06 2:16:02

God, is there anyone who doesn't have like a gun other than the whip dude?

SPEAKER_03 2:16:06

They all have guns.

SPEAKER_06 2:16:07

Fuck.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:08

If if you want to help them up, you could help them out of the hole, because they would need to still fight.

SPEAKER_06 2:16:13

That's what I was thinking, because I was like, fuck, just come when they're swinging with my stick in a gunfight.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:20

With your little fold-out lightsaber.

SPEAKER_06 2:16:23

Yeah, man. I'm here to not do any harm. I'll help them out. That's all I can do, man. I'll tend to their injuries if they got any.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:30

Okay, that'll be uh an athletics to help them up.

SPEAKER_06 2:16:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:34

Be uh give you a destiny point, because they are like visibly escaping now.

SPEAKER_06 2:16:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:41

Uh, so that will be against a red, a purple, and a black.

SPEAKER_06 2:16:46

One success, one advantage.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:48

You can help them out quickly. Uh, and like they don't even get a chance because, like, Rannick, once he sees that they're coming out of the hole, he takes that as his cue to go into action, and he just stabs the Flightsaber into the floor, cuts a hole, drops down, and starts swinging.

SPEAKER_02 2:17:06

Yeah!

SPEAKER_03 2:17:07

Rampage! And uh, Illyria, you can see that both his wife and his son uh have definitely seen better days. They do look kind of bruised, they have like some black eyes and stuff. Uh, so they've definitely uh been hurt by these criminals.

SPEAKER_02 2:17:24

I think a rampage is just what Rannick needs.

SPEAKER_09 2:17:27

That sounds about right. That sounds like the fun that we need. Would you like to take some impact and go on an archer-like rampage?

SPEAKER_02 2:17:34

I don't have any impact! Yes, I would like to, no, I can't!

SPEAKER_03 2:17:38

So I think with with the Jedi Master helping, uh all of you guys can make short work of this uh Den of Crime.

SPEAKER_10 2:17:48

Just like clefting and twaining everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 2:17:51

Yeah, a lot of uh a lot of smoking charred parts of bodies and a lot of uh spurting fountains of blood from various types of swords.

SPEAKER_09 2:18:01

Can I is there any guns around here? I feel like I should if I'm able to grab a gun, that might be a good thing to do. Yeah, do you want- you want to loot these corpses? I I would like as I'm as I'm like trying to take this family to safety, if I find a gun, I'm gonna pick up a gun.

SPEAKER_03 2:18:18

Yeah, because you would be helping them up uh to where Illyria is up on top, so you definitely be down there where all the uh dead uh gangsters are. Okay. Alright, is there a particular gun I can find? Uh give me a perception. It is kind of dark down there, so that'll be a two purple and a black perception to find anything, any noteworthy loot. Two purple and a black, let's see. Two success. Two success. So what kind of uh weapon are you looking for?

SPEAKER_09 2:18:48

Kind of just like uh like um the size of a handgun kind of thing, but like if it's good if it's good, that's kinda what what I'm going for. Just sort of like a holdout pistol or something.

SPEAKER_03 2:19:00

Uh if you want, yeah, if you want you want something that's like uh specifically designed, because if you are doing undercover stuff or you're looking for something that's maybe a little bit more hidden. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. So if you want something that's a bit packs a bit more punch than a standard holdout blaster, you can find that there one of them does have a variable holdout blaster. Ooh. So uh the the tricky thing about it, it is it has limited ammo. Uh so its power cell is limited. When you're shooting, you choose a power setting between one and seven. That is how much damage it does, that is how much ammo it uses. Between one and seven? Yeah. Okay. And that is uh and it carries twelve twelve points of ammo, I guess, in total. Uh before you have to reload it.

SPEAKER_09 2:19:49

Alright. I got I got my pistol, and I'm still I'm still taking these guys out of here. Cal, are you looking for drugs?

SPEAKER_02 2:19:56

I mean, is everyone pretty much dead now?

SPEAKER_03 2:19:58

Yeah, there's a bunch of corpses down there.

SPEAKER_02 2:20:00

Yeah, I'll take a look for some drugs.

SPEAKER_10 2:20:01

I'll start just piling them together to forget. Just like, you know, get them out of the way. Ease of looting. Yeah, broom, start sweeping them up.

SPEAKER_03 2:20:12

Uh Cal, if you're gonna be rifling through their pockets for drugs, uh, that'll be uh two purple and a black as well. Perception.

SPEAKER_02 2:20:20

Is that black just for my uh continuing issues?

SPEAKER_03 2:20:23

No, that's for the the it's pretty dark in there.

SPEAKER_02 2:20:26

Um you need another black on top of that. Well, I can remove one of those. Three success, two threats, and a triumph! I find so many drugs!

SPEAKER_09 2:20:36

So you're that shot in Birds of Prey where uh Harley Quinch just in a cloud of cocaine and her eyes digitally go just a bit bigger.

SPEAKER_03 2:20:46

You can with that triumph, uh, you can find like a large case of it.

unknown 2:20:52

Ha ha ha!

SPEAKER_03 2:20:54

Uh the threat is that you're gonna have to carry out this case of drugs like it's big enough that it's like people are gonna ask questions about it. I'm confiscating this.

SPEAKER_02 2:21:06

Yeah, we're the cops.

SPEAKER_03 2:21:08

What about me, man? I'm just a cops. So this would this would have 20 doses in it. Hell yeah. Is it large enough that I will have issues carrying it? Um, no. It's not it's not large enough that it's mostly like you're just carrying a big thing of drugs.

SPEAKER_02 2:21:24

Listen, we're with the SBI. We these this is evidence.

SPEAKER_03 2:21:28

That's what you want to tell yourself?

SPEAKER_02 2:21:30

Evidence of what? That's none of your business.

SPEAKER_03 2:21:33

It's evidence that they were doing drugs. Yes. So after uh all of the dust has settled and you have rifled through the corpses of these criminals, claiming whatever you want, you can climb back out the hole yourselves. Uh, and you can just catch the end of Rannick explaining what's gonna happen to his family. And basically he's telling them like he's telling them to take his speeder back up to the spaceport and get out of town. He's giving them like some credits to to pay their way. And he's giving his lightsaber to his son.

SPEAKER_09 2:22:09

Which he accidentally turns on and stabs himself in the arm.

SPEAKER_02 2:22:13

Such a grisly imagination.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:17

And he looks at you climbing out of the hole and he says, Well, I guess uh it's time to face the music. He just immediately shoots us.

SPEAKER_02 2:22:27

Um so uh he wants to drop you off at the temple then?

SPEAKER_03 2:22:30

Uh yeah, yeah, I suppose that's uh where I need to go.

SPEAKER_02 2:22:33

Okay. Well no if you didn't go through with it.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:36

Well, I'm honestly I assume you'll be taken.

SPEAKER_09 2:22:39

Uh honestly if he does you you guys can go ahead and uh take them through. I'll just follow along. Um if he decides to if he decides to run away from us, then I'm weirdly okay with that.

SPEAKER_02 2:22:52

Well, you know, I was more like, you know what, I'm not gonna give you any ideas. Yeah, let's take you to the Jedi Temple.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:57

Let's take you to the Jedi Temple. If you let him go at this point, that could jeopardize your jobs. That's fair.

unknown 2:23:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:23:04

Because I I was more like, oh, what if we took him to the Jedi Temple and it's like he went into a private media and then he's like, These four lunatics are in the middle of the state.

SPEAKER_10 2:23:12

You'll never believe the crazy shit that happened. These four losers.

SPEAKER_06 2:23:18

I think that even though you went against the code by having a family, the fact that you're willing to turn yourself in uh redeems you.

SPEAKER_09 2:23:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:23:28

Well get to jail.

SPEAKER_03 2:23:31

Do not ask go. Do not collect 200 credits.

SPEAKER_02 2:23:36

Do not get a new Padawan.

SPEAKER_03 2:23:38

Yeah, so uh he does follow you to your shuttle. You can take him to the Jedi Temple to drop him off. Um do you do you stay there at all, or do you just let him go? Because this would probably be the first time you've been back there. Or is this, you know, you're with the SBI now. How long do you think?

SPEAKER_02 2:23:58

Do we want to stay?

SPEAKER_10 2:24:00

We're with the SBI.

SPEAKER_03 2:24:01

You have an entire case full of drugs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:24:05

What more do you need? Did anyone want to say hi to uh go say hi to Yoda? I don't know if we could talk to the show.

SPEAKER_06 2:24:12

All these people who call us fucking dropouts? I think Yoda would call us a fucking dropout to our face too.

SPEAKER_03 2:24:18

No, he would call you a dropout fucking Oh dear.

SPEAKER_09 2:24:22

He'd call me a dropout fucking hoo.

SPEAKER_06 2:24:25

I realized when uh he earlier during the fight, uh last time I had taken Hallan's lightsaber.

SPEAKER_02 2:24:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:24:36

Do I still got that thing on me?

SPEAKER_02 2:24:38

Oh, that's true. Did you ever give it back to him?

SPEAKER_06 2:24:41

He was in a coma or whatever, a medically induced coma. He's not safe to have his lightsaber.

SPEAKER_03 2:24:46

Did you leave it aboard the Shack T?

SPEAKER_06 2:24:50

I put it on my belt. Did I forget about it?

SPEAKER_03 2:24:54

Because they didn't they didn't.

SPEAKER_06 2:24:55

Or did they take it away from us when they didn't they didn't search us.

SPEAKER_03 2:24:59

Yeah, you willingly went to the brig.

SPEAKER_02 2:25:01

So technically, you probably do still have Helen's lightsaber. If you want to.

SPEAKER_03 2:25:07

Hell yeah. Just in your in your little backpack. Oh, I forgot about this.

SPEAKER_02 2:25:13

The whole fight, you're like, I just have my little training stick, and then a private, you're like obsessing over the lightsaber. My precious.

SPEAKER_06 2:25:22

No one can know that I have this.

SPEAKER_03 2:25:24

Yeah, it's like everybody's like, uh you say goodbye to Rannick and you head head up back to the uh the Kareth in your in your shuttle and everybody's like off like coveting their various things. Uh Kala's coveting her box of drugs, Illyria's coveting her secret lightsaber, Chris is, I don't know, coveting his little black book that he gets to start now. Star stars and is too open to covet. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:26:00

Chris just has like pictures of the club, the last club he was in, on open on a data pad. He's like, uh Memories.

SPEAKER_03 2:26:09

All alone in the moonlight. You can covet all of your various worldly possessions as you return the shuttle back to the Karath in orbit above to give your report and start your new life as agents of the SBI's Inquiry Division. Nothing else. Yeah. Nothing more than that, Inquiry Division, next time on Star Wars Empire Wreckers. This episode of Empire Wreckers is brought to you by our top patrons, Alphabros 522, David B. Eric Charles Perazzo, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Suki Nintendo, Thomas Davidson, and Vaginator.