S13E06 - In the Valley, Ha! Ha!

The Jedi Order is in turmoil. Following the outbreak of the Great Clone Wars, the guardians of peace and justice have accepted a new role as Generals in the Republic Army.

While many Jedi fight valiantly, the death toll is high, and not all Jedi are prepared for such violence. Those that survive may become hardened, or retreat from the violence and the eyes of the Republic altogether.

Keeping a watchful eye on these wayward Jedi are the agents of the SBI's Inquiry Division, who use their unique skills to ensure that the power of the Jedi is used correctly....

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Wreckers, the Star Wars actual play podcast that gets into frequent altercations with its neighbors. Who's ready to shovel piss back onto their side of the fence today?

SPEAKER_08 0:25

Hello? Uh je m'appelle Crissant. A good night always ends in me pissing my pants and throwing them to my neighbor.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Is that how you flirt?

SPEAKER_08 0:34

I don't tell anybody about it.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

It's just how it happens.

SPEAKER_07 0:38

That's the achievement.

SPEAKER_10 0:39

Piss pants.

SPEAKER_07 0:41

In the Chrissoned video game, you're walking around and there's like a piss meter. You have to keep filling. To win the game. Wait now he wants the piss in his pants? Yes. It gives him warmth.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

Is it like the Sims where if you like fill up the piss meter too much, then you piss on yourself and your Sims are sad?

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Yes, it's like death stranding.

SPEAKER_07 1:01

Starzan is known to have played the piss and shit games with local warring tribes. You shit on their land. It's hilarious.

SPEAKER_06 1:10

And Illyria is sure that the piss and shit shoveling wasn't an act of malice, just an act of extreme stupidity.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

It's helpful. And if you're ready to get persecuted by your HOA, why don't you crank us up real loud and come along with us to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in Star Wars? The Jedi Order is in turmoil. Following the outbreak of the Great Clone Wars, the Guardians of Peace and Justice have accepted a new role as generals in the Republic Army. While many Jedi fight valiantly, the death toll is high, and not all Jedi are prepared for such violence. Those that survive may become hardened or retreat from the violence and the eyes of the Republic altogether. Keeping a watchful eye on these wayward Jedi are the agents of the SBI's Inquiry Division, who use their unique skills to ensure that the power of the Jedi is used correctly.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Yeah. That's all we do. We definitely don't break into hot brothels and then, you know, end up handing over a pirate who is impersonating a Jedi. We don't do that shit.

SPEAKER_07 2:12

We are the responsible ones.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

We're the responsible ones. We're the only responsible ones. In that we're responsible for everything that happened.

SPEAKER_08 2:21

You could say that about us in all of our games, honestly. We're very responsible. We're so responsible. We are not responsible for uh everything going wrong.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

I mean, you did uh you did make a little bit of money last time, uh betting on Dengar, whatever you put in. Uh, and eventually, uh, after maybe a couple more hangouts, um, Zin Kudri did tell you uh that she was going along with uh the senator that she serves, uh, was going to Camino, where Hallan and Yigen have been overseeing the training of clone soldiers.

SPEAKER_02 3:01

Oh. Oh, so they're not on the front lines, at least. That's good. Can we go visit them? Can we go say hi? Go check on them.

SPEAKER_08 3:09

Hey friend, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Are you too okay?

SPEAKER_01 3:14

I mean, I don't know if you're allowed to go to Camino.

SPEAKER_08 3:17

Can can we send a postcard and say, uh, wish you were here?

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Send some sort of communication to them.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

The place where you're not supposed to know they went.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Listen.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

You could.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

Okay, what if we just turned up on Camino and we were like, fancy seeing you two here? We had no idea.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

Fancy seeing you here.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

I think it would be a very convincing thing to do.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Well, you'd have to find a reason to get authorization to go to Camino. Which maybe maybe you can talk to uh Agent Gray about it, as uh a couple of weeks after you learn about where Hallan went, you get summoned for another mission, another 500 credits, and you're stipended. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

Don't mind if I add that. I'm getting so close to being able to afford a better gun. 500.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

But soon enough you are uh recalled to the Careth where Agent Gray is waiting for you. He has the uh snacks that he knows that you like, or at least that you that you ate that one time.

SPEAKER_11 4:18

The snacks we like or tell me back in style.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

And when you get to his office, he kind of welcomes you in. You can have your snacks, and he says, uh, hey, how have uh how have you guys been?

SPEAKER_02 4:33

We uh been good. How have you been?

SPEAKER_01 4:36

Um, you know how it is. The war's the war. Uh thanks for uh taking care of that situation uh with uh Kit Fisto when he does air quotes, by the way. Oh, no problem.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

I I'm trying to not come across as too cagey because I do remember that it's like we uh we stole those plans for that weapon that the Republic was developing, and I don't think he knows about that because we were gonna try to privately look into it.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

Yeah. Well you you've you found out that uh it originated as a trade federation thing that the Wookies then found. Oh, yeah. When they yeah. But you don't know you don't know what happened between then and now.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Yeah. I'm still feeling a little cagey. It is still weird that the Republic was developing that.

SPEAKER_07 5:22

Uh the Republic's done some shady shit. I mean, Star Wars. They've all done shady shit.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars, you know Star Wars, where there's always a Star War going. Anyways, Gray stopped coming. You uh have a job for us?

SPEAKER_01 5:38

Uh I do. Um have any of you ever met a man named Jarek?

SPEAKER_09 5:44

Would we have?

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Um, this would be a one purple knowledge roll.

SPEAKER_09 5:50

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:51

Uh Knowledge lore, knowledge outer rim, knowledge education.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

I'm gonna be fucking embarrassed if this is on the people that we encountered. I just forgot because I don't take notes.

SPEAKER_06 6:03

Damn it, three advantage.

SPEAKER_07 6:06

I meant lore. Uh two failures, three advantage.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

I got one failure, two advantage. I'll say that was to outer rim.

SPEAKER_08 6:15

Uh I got one success.

SPEAKER_07 6:17

One success.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

No, thank god.

SPEAKER_07 6:19

There isn't an easier possible role in this game, and yet you would have to be unopposed.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Yeah. Yeah. Uh so Chris, you're the only one who's met him. Illyria Callus Starzan. Uh, you got advantages. You've never met him, but you've heard of him. Jarek was one of the Jedi Masters who was in the service core in the exploration fleet.

SPEAKER_10 6:42

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

So, Chris, uh, you met Jarek very briefly. You probably would have met him kind of, maybe you helped him out. Uh so Jarek is this Jedi Master, so what you guys know about him, you people with advantage, is that he was uh he's kind of an archaeologist. He's a mirror leuka, so he doesn't have any eyes. He sees through the force, he wears like a little headband around his eyes. Uh, but he is a he's a Jedi master who's a Mira Luca and an archaeologist. You got some of you got three advantage, so you would know that he was uh the Padawan at one time of the current Jedi librarian. So like he's got like a pretty pretty good pedigree.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

And he's pretty kind of, you know, well renowned as a guy who who loves looking into history and loves looking into artifacts. And his main area of study was he was looking for an ancient site called uh the Valley of the Jedi that had been lost for for centuries, and he was trying to trying to find it and unearth it again. Chris, you were among the last people to see him. Oh.

SPEAKER_08 7:52

So was he like at a party or something?

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Well, several years ago, when you were still with the service corps, you would have been one of the uh service corps members who helped Jarek and his team to go on a mission to find this lost valley of the Jedi. And then nobody ever saw him again. So it was him and he was with three other Jedi. There was a Twieleck, there was an alien that I'm not sure if you'd know what species he is, and there was a human man who was with him. Ooh. The four of them went off on this mission, never seen or heard from again.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Oh like all four of them weren't seen uh or heard from again.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

And then it was like Chris got quietly reassigned to us, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

Well, they were he would have just been like helping them like load their ship and you know, doing various duties.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

He wouldn't have uh he wasn't there.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

Yeah, he wasn't- he wasn't on the mission.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

Okay. I I think we've all heard of him at least.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

Well, that's that's good. Um, because uh this jerk he was with the exploration corps for a while, and I think that uh it might be handy if you were to uh look into a situation that may involve him.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

And he vanished. Are there any situations that still involve him?

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Well, uh that is the thing. You see, we uh recently came across a report from local law enforcement on Sulawn, uh Moon of Sullust, that uh individuals matching the description of Jarek and the other Jedi that accompanied him on his last mission were seen there. Uh apparently some of the residents of Sulaw noticed some smoke coming from the farm of a uh local farmer by the name of Morgan and a few other eyewitnesses reported these uh individuals, these strangers who resembled Jarek and the other Jedi at the Barons Head spaceport coming from the direction of this farm. Now, it's not unheard of that uh a group of people who resemble another group of people might encounter some person on some backwater. We all know how uh rural drug labs going up in smoke is not necessarily an unheard of thing. But this Morgan was unwilling to talk to the Sullaston police. And uh Jarek being a Mira Luka, his uh his people aren't super rare in the galaxy, and all of them, well, they see through the force, so all of them have the ability to manipulate the force, and even if it's not Jarek, uh if there is some kind of underworld cartel that's employing a mirror Luka, if this is a gang situation, I think that you guys may be best equipped to handle it.

SPEAKER_08 10:52

Uh, is it because we are knowledgeable of the people who are missing in question?

SPEAKER_01 10:57

Well, that would certainly help if you uh could speak if this does turn out to be Jarek, if you could speak to him as a uh member of the service corps, if if you knew him or knew about him, that would might be helpful. We don't know what happened. This farmer is uh not talking to law enforcement. So it could be that he's just out there doing Jedi stuff, but with the war and there there are Jedi dying literally every day. I get a report across my desk about some Padawan or some knight who got killed by a robot somewhere. And we just want to keep track of the Jedi who are still out there. Even if they're not doing anything wrong, we just, if you can find Jarek, talk to him, get him to sort of come back from the mission and at least, you know, let us know what's going on.

SPEAKER_08 11:43

Ah, yes, leave no man behind.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

That's the idea.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

No Jedi left behind.

SPEAKER_09 11:48

Uh, because you you said he was spotted at the the spaceport? Was that what you said?

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Yeah, the city on Ceylon, the spaceport city, is called Baron's Head. So I'm assuming that Jarek and his crew didn't stay long. Uh maybe this farmer might be maybe able to uh extract some information from him.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

Did do you think they even still are on the same planet?

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Uh I think it's unlikely if he was traveling to the spaceport.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

Okay, but maybe maybe we go talk to the farmer and see if he has any leads, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Perhaps there's also uh potentially local law enforcement might be able to help you, but um Sullust is uh a separatist world, so I don't think you'll be able to go in there wearing those, any kind of point-tier service corps uniforms.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

Cause uh cause Cala bought different clothes. She's not wearing the service corps uniform anymore, so kinda give a side eye to Elyria, who I assume still is. Who is still wearing their Jedi Service Corps uniform?

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Because I feel like when you're going for like mission briefings, you might still wear them.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

I guess that's true.

SPEAKER_08 12:50

I try not to wear that shit. It really uh uh hampers my style. You got your work clothes.

SPEAKER_07 12:56

And as of course I wear it as a loincloth, which is makes it less recognizable.

SPEAKER_08 13:00

I yeah, I kind of fashion it as like something cool to wear instead of like being a lame ass.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

Yeah, for Starzlan, even if someone did recognize the Service Core Exploration Group blue, they would just feel too uncomfortable to look too long at his loincloth. Oh god, look away.

SPEAKER_07 13:19

These are the loins of a killer, Bella.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

Oh god, why is it sparkling?

SPEAKER_08 13:25

That's the chassis belt. What's his motherfucking name?

SPEAKER_02 13:31

The fact that it's a canonical that Star Sanchez wears a chassis belt to avoid sperm jacking is uh Oh man. Makes sense.

SPEAKER_07 13:40

I need to protect my lineage. They could be used to start a civil war. If my seed were to fall into the body. My knots are a deadly weapon. Sorry, could you could you please not say seed? I have no shame. It is the royal seed of countless generations. I have the license to spill. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 14:01

That's even worse.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

Is the, you know, just nondescript clothing then, I guess, to go to a separatist world?

SPEAKER_01 14:10

Uh well, nondescript clothing and uh nondescript ship, I think, would be best for this one.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

Oh, so not not the quest in quail. Ah, it's so nice.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Not the quest in quail. We've uh provided you with um alternate uh transportation. We impounded a smuggling vessel a little while ago that uh we cleaned up a little bit that I think would be uh allow you to get to Ceulon without attracting too much attention.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

I would love if this was Ovan Marikal's ship that he had. I can't remember if he just had just been abandoned or if his uh ship had been impounded.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

Uh he had to sell it so he could get more money to spend at the whorehouse.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

Yeah. Oh my god, what if this is Ovan's ship and it just ended up being impounded eventually? I'm sure somebody else has it.

SPEAKER_08 14:58

I mean, it's Star Wars, nobody's ever really gone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

Ovan Marikal will always be there for us, waiting.

SPEAKER_08 15:06

For better or for worse.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

Okay, uh, what kind of what kind of vessel is this then? A smuggling vessel.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

He he passes a uh an access card across the table to you, and he says, uh, you'll find it uh in the bay across from uh where you came in. Um it'll be on pad six.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

And you can see on the uh the access key that it corresponds to an HWK 290 class light freighter called the Custard Gannet.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

The Custard Gannett?

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 15:38

The Custard the Gannet. The custard. That's what I have on my hot with Hollandaise sauce.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Does it have a picture of it?

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Uh no, but it just says what type it is. I don't know if any of you are familiar with an HWK 290.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

What would it be to be familiar?

SPEAKER_01 15:52

I mean, you could just go and look at it. It's in the hangar base.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

Fine, let's just go look at it.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

You can go look at it. Uh, an HWK 290 light freighter is a lot smaller than kind of what you're used to. It's not a diplomatic shuttle. It's got room for uh a pilot, a co-pilot, and a couple of passengers. It's this kind of uh long, low-resolution tube almost, where it's sort of like shaped uh almost like the top of like a bird's beak, like an eagle's beak. And it's got like some engines out the back that are kind of like wings and some maneuvering fins up above. It looks pretty, pretty bare bones, all things considered.

SPEAKER_06 16:34

It looks like something that was designed to be a Lego.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

I love the low polygon count on this thing.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

Yeah. It's the it's the kind of ship that you that you design because you're making a video game for the PS1. Ooh, Angular.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

You know what I like the best about the outside of this ship? Just the absolute lack of detail. Just nothing there.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

Yeah, it gets kind of like blurry as you get up close. Oh, so like a cyber truck. Yeah, it's real, it's really low resolution.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

Just rubbing a finger on the side, just like, oh, that Grieblin, it's all just textures. There's nothing here.

SPEAKER_07 17:14

Nondescript means literally nothing to describe. Perfect for smugglers. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

Ugh. God, I bet this thing. Man, the quest and quail, the seats are broken in just for our asses.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Yeah, these uh you can open open the door in the back and climb aboard. You kind of have to like duck. It's like got low ceilings. Uh, it does smell like a smuggler's ship.

SPEAKER_02 17:39

It's fine. It's just for a little while.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

It does smell like a smuggler's ship. When they said they cleaned it up a little bit, you can see that like there's just one line that somebody pushed a broom from like the back entrance up to the cockpit.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

They cleaned it up in the like most generous sense of the word. Yeah. Cool.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

However, that does mean that uh whoever this used to belong to, if it's a smuggler's ship, maybe there's some still some stuff hidden on it.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

Ooh, maybe they got some drugs in here. It is a smuggler's ship. What'd it be to look for drugs?

SPEAKER_08 18:16

Hey, at what point do we um give rehab for or give an intervention for our friend?

unknown 18:22

What?

SPEAKER_02 18:22

I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

What's your what's your discipline?

SPEAKER_02 18:27

I can meditate and stop whenever I feel like it, Chris. My discipline is two green, okay?

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Okay, give me a two-purple discipline then.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

I got one success. Fuck you, god. I'm fine. I'm fine. Making me roll discipline like I didn't make that a part of my character.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

So you don't need the drugs, but you know, if they're there.

SPEAKER_02 18:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

Can't you roll a perception to see if there's any drugs? Yeah, if you guys want to uh search the ship.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

Chris, if you find drugs, are you gonna not tell me? Not yet. Are you gonna take on this intervention all alone?

SPEAKER_08 19:05

Uh not yet. I'm I'm I'm worried about you, but I'm still I I don't want to be uncool.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

I don't want to be the wet blanket at the parties.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

Yeah, he stopped wetting his blankets like months ago.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

Because I feel like Star Z would not even register that something's going on, and I feel like Elyria probably does not care that much if I live or die. But so thank you, Chris.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

So, uh if you if you want to uh see if there's any hidden valuables aboard this ship before you take off, that would probably be against the skullduggery of the smuggler who used to own it. Uh so that is gonna be against two red, a purple, and a black if there's any uh hidden smuggling compartments.

SPEAKER_02 19:53

They can remove a black. I got a success and two threats. I find something, but not what I want.

SPEAKER_07 19:59

I get three threats and a triumph. Not the worst. Two failures, one triumph, one threat.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Oh, two triumphs in the mix. Dood Illyria. Don't be the don't be the one left out.

SPEAKER_06 20:10

I was gonna say, should we look for banal apparel or something?

SPEAKER_02 20:13

Just Bane. Yeah, we can buy that. Very big. If they happen to have some on here, then you know, save some credits.

SPEAKER_06 20:19

How much to roll?

SPEAKER_01 20:21

Uh two red, a purple, and a black.

SPEAKER_06 20:23

No, I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

I mean, you can just you can find uh the some smugglers' clothes in like a little uh easily found like little closet compartment.

SPEAKER_02 20:36

But Elyria, I want you to roll so you can maybe because Chris and Starzan both got triumphs. Maybe you can get a despair and we can be all balanced out.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

You need two despairs for that. So, Callie, you were looking for drugs? Yeah. You find some drugs.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

However, you got those two threats. Yeah. They're not the kind of drugs you need. It's not impact.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Man, what kind is it?

SPEAKER_08 21:00

Or is it it's just it's just weed or the Star Wars uh equivalent of weed? Space Viagra. Ooh, we could sell it.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

I could I was gonna say, I could sell that.

SPEAKER_06 21:13

Okay, when you're saying that I found smugglers clothes, are you saying that I found this Rarity 7 smugglers trench coat?

SPEAKER_01 21:20

Uh no, you found banal apparel.

SPEAKER_11 21:23

Okay. Can I find that?

SPEAKER_01 21:26

Kala, you find uh you got how many success? Uh just one. Just one. You find a dose of gungic spice in the glove compartment.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

I'll take it.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Yeah, it gives you plus one brawn and upgrades the difficulty of a bit of agility, intellect, and cunning.

SPEAKER_02 21:40

Hey, Starzan, do you wanna try something fun?

unknown 21:43

Uh oh.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

No, it makes your guns jacked.

SPEAKER_07 21:50

I don't think I want to try that. Get out of here, Starzan. You don't want none of this shit.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

You can't make me do drugs, peer pressure.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

And uh, what were the Re were the rest of you looking for drugs or what were you looking for?

SPEAKER_08 22:03

Um I I I figure uh if not drugs at least somet at least something that we might be able to use or sell or something like that. Or even just like it's fun looking for hidden stuff. Uh yeah. Just for the fun. Just for the fun of it.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

You see Calagoi digging under chairs and you're like, that looks cool.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

Yeah, so you're looking for something fun. Um you don't find something fun. You do find a like hidden, like in a wall panel, a locked security case. Doesn't seem like it has anything fun in it. It looks like there is like a detonator on it. Whoa! That you would have to uh disable if you wanted to get into the case.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

Who's gonna disabling?

SPEAKER_02 22:50

I mean, what's my skullduggery? I mean, I have a yellow and two green to skullduggery. What do you guys think?

SPEAKER_08 22:57

Well, let's try it for it.

SPEAKER_02 22:58

Yeah, what would it be to skulldug that? May maybe maybe do it like by the entrance to the ship so I can throw it out into the hangar page.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

Well, it's like it's attached to the wall.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

Uh well, okay. Well, what would it be to try to skulldug and disable that detonator?

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Uh, I'll give you a destiny point, so that'll be a red and two purples. And I don't know what kind of like bomb disarming equipment you have, so that'll probably add a black as well.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

Well, I'm gonna flip a destiny to get another yellow then.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Uh oh.

SPEAKER_10 23:28

That sounds like I had a further an advantage out of despair.

SPEAKER_07 23:34

Yeah. We don't need to know what's in there.

SPEAKER_10 23:37

I think we're gonna find out. I think it's gonna blow up in my face.

SPEAKER_07 23:41

Well It's a giant snake that's been eating radioactive cancer-infested rats.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

It starts counting down, uh, and you can kind of frantically scramble to try and do something to stop it. And you do. You do manage to stop it with like one tenth of a second left. It doesn't blow up in your face, but it is like, it is right on the edge of blowing up in your face.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

Man, I'm real lucky I got that one advantage.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

Yeah, if you tamper with it again, it will explode. Right on. What whatever is in there would have been two triumphs worth of cool, but now you'll never know.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

Oh man, really?

SPEAKER_01 24:25

I mean, unless there's some way to get rid of that bomb. But some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

That is true. Unless we waited till we didn't need the ship anymore, and then we used a universal cutting tool to cut into the ship's hull from the back of it and then take it out the other side of the safe.

SPEAKER_01 24:42

That's al that's always an option if you want to see what's in this mysterious box.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

I kind of want to, but you know, like let's not cut a hole in the ship till after we're done using it.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

It'll be the head of JJ Abrams. Oh no!

SPEAKER_02 24:56

Okay, does it does any everyone have uh alternative clothing to wear?

SPEAKER_01 25:02

If you don't, there's enough banal apparel in the smuggler stinky closet.

SPEAKER_07 25:06

Okay. I'll think of note.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

It seems like uh the smuggler, uh there were two of them, it seems, because there's uh clothes for a man and a woman-sized person. I will take a man-sized person.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

I do like the idea that it's like there are two scales of people. There are two sizes, man and woman. Well, they're cut differently. Yeah. I will add some banal apparel.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

One pair of coveralls is more form-fitting than the other.

SPEAKER_02 25:32

One shows off the booty. It's up to you to decide if that's for the man or the woman.

SPEAKER_07 25:38

Both have no midriff.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

Shall we go then? You can go. Go to Soulon. Um, since you are in a smuggler's ship, your ship was it was swept once, so I don't know if they like did anything to it. The custard gannet may have a record attached to it, you don't know. So, uh, why don't you give me an astrogation to uh try and arrive uh at Soulon in a way that makes you seem inconspicuous?

SPEAKER_06 26:08

How many astrogations?

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Uh, this will just be two purple with a black.

SPEAKER_06 26:14

One success or three success, one threat.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

Okay, so you can arrive at Soulon. Pretty good. Uh, how how do you want to approach this planet? It is in separatist space. You are coming from Coruscant, but you are in a smuggler ship, but it may have a record.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

Uh you know, coming from a distance and fly casual.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

Fly casual?

SPEAKER_02 26:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

This astrogation, the good course plotting, will get you into a good position to fly casual. So that will uh make it easier. This will be a one purple, but because you got that threat, there is like, it feels like that panel, like that case is like rattling as you're flying. Like the humming of the engine is like making it vibrate in a way that's really doesn't seem safe. So let's call that a red. We'll give you a destiny point here.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

One red?

SPEAKER_01 27:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

Okay. Not two success, one advantage. Okay, you're fine. You're fine. You're fine.

unknown 27:11

It's fine.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

Everything's fine.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

And you can bring the ship down into the spaceport city of Baron's Head on Ceulon. As you approach, you can see that it is dotted with uh a lot of farms embedded into rolling hills, and it seems to be quite an agricultural planet. If you know anything about Sullust, you know that it is fairly volcanic, and the Sullustons kind of live in these underground caves. So it does help that a nearby moon does have uh a lot of greenery and vegetation, probably.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

Okay, is there a can we uh go with a spaceport? Is there any docking fee or anything?

SPEAKER_01 27:49

There is, it's a nominal fee, 25 credits.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Who wants to pay?

SPEAKER_07 27:54

Who's daddy?

SPEAKER_01 27:55

Who's daddy this year?

SPEAKER_07 27:56

25 each or just 25? Well, it's just one ship. That's true. I'll not per passenger.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

Thanks, Daddy. I'm saving up for a new gun. I don't want to spend my money today.

SPEAKER_08 28:05

Oh, uh is that so? Okay. Yeah, no, that makes sense. That's fine.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

Thanks, Chris.

SPEAKER_08 28:10

Ah, yes. Of course, I am will I am more than willing to make sure that everybody is happy, but not too happy. And I kind of look at you with a little bit of a side eye, a worried side eye. Perhaps a little less happy.

SPEAKER_07 28:23

Who wants to be daddy? Je suis papa.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

Thanks for caring if I live or die, Chris.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

The city of Baron's Head is surrounded by it's like a walled city, and there is a uh a river running through it that kind of like winds through it. It seems like they sort of uh manipulated the river to sort of service the city. So it kind of like winds all the way around and through this walled city. And you can see that it's like, it is kind of it's it's got a weird feeling to it where it's like there's a lot of people here, but a lot of them feel a little bit like scuzzy a little bit. So it's like it's the kind of place where it's like, yeah, the nearby farms probably are like hiding drug labs and stuff. The forest tastes bad on this planet. Well, the forest tastes fine on this planet, but it's uh it's just that, you know, you fit in as uh stinky smugglers.

SPEAKER_07 29:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

So that's good.

SPEAKER_01 29:23

So if there was uh somewhere that you wanted to uh buy something or uh find an expert who knew how to open dangerous cases, you might be able to find them here too.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

Oh, that's a good point. Business first, though, we gotta find this farm.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 29:39

Things first. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

I'm the realist. Okay. Do do we get the uh the coordinates for the specific farmer that we're looking for? Okay. Let let's go and meet him or talk to him.

SPEAKER_01 29:53

Okay, so as you're going through the uh the city of Barron's Head, you can see that there are local Sullaston law enforcement that are kind of keeping the street safe. Since it is a farm, it is kind of a rural farm. So you are you gonna walk or are you gonna try and get transportation?

SPEAKER_02 30:08

Uh can we like rent a speeder? Probably, yeah.

unknown 30:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 30:11

Yeah, I I mean transportation. Transportation. I mean, we're not we're not like crazy.

SPEAKER_02 30:16

Right? We're not crazy. We're not goblin people that are just gonna, you know, steal a new speeder every other week of like some people we might have portrayed in the past.

SPEAKER_08 30:27

We're we're almost jet- We're almost Jedi. We're basically gods. I mean, look, don't hold our past lives against us.

SPEAKER_02 30:34

Yeah, Illyria has a lightsaber and everything. She basically is a Jedi. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 30:40

As far as anyone else knows.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

But yeah, you can find a uh there there is, you know, a speeder vendor that's not far from the uh the spaceport itself, where you can see there are uh a number of, you know, pretty old model, well uh well cleaned, but uh not new speeders that are that are lined up. And you can see like one of them, he's like scrubbing at one of them like really frustratedly, like cursing under his breath.

SPEAKER_02 31:10

Just hello?

SPEAKER_01 31:10

Oh hey, how's it going?

SPEAKER_02 31:12

Uh going good. Could uh do you have any speeders to rent?

SPEAKER_01 31:15

Oh yeah, I got tons. You want one? You gotta pay for one? You gotta pay for a speeder? You gonna pay? You're not just gonna steal it, right?

SPEAKER_08 31:20

Yeah, no, no, we're gonna pay. It's okay. We're gonna pay for your speeder. We're not gonna we're not the bad guys.

SPEAKER_01 31:27

Okay, good. Why?

SPEAKER_08 31:28

How much do you have?

SPEAKER_01 31:28

I got a blaster, just so you know. I got a blaster. We're not gonna steal.

SPEAKER_08 31:32

It's okay, we're not going to steal. It's okay. Okay, I just um Why do you why do you think why you why has somebody stolen from you before?

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Look, I just got uh I don't like strangers coming around here.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

Why? What happens if strangers come around here?

SPEAKER_01 31:45

Well, they steal my frickin' speeder for one thing. Uh yes, of course.

SPEAKER_08 31:49

No, no, it's okay. We are not here to steal your speeder.

SPEAKER_02 31:52

Wait, I know a plot hook when I hear one. Who stole your speeder?

SPEAKER_01 31:57

Ow, some dickhead claimed to be a Jedi or something. I don't know. I didn't believe him.

SPEAKER_08 32:02

Ooh. What was the name?

SPEAKER_01 32:04

Uh do you uh recognize who this dickhead may be? Yeah, some blind guy and his little cret and his friends.

SPEAKER_09 32:12

Uh, gross. Hey, you have the same speeder that they uh No, because he said they stole it, so you wouldn't have it anymore, would ya?

SPEAKER_01 32:18

Well, and he points to the one that he's trying to clean. They dumped it on me after they came back from who knows where it was. A lot of carbon scoring I gotta try and clean up. Nobody wants to drive a speeder with blaster holes. They lost a guy too. I was half expecting his body to be in the trunk. They left with four, came back with three.

SPEAKER_10 32:37

Can we take this one?

SPEAKER_01 32:38

What do you want to take this one?

SPEAKER_10 32:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

If you don't mind, it's caught character. I mean, uh. Just don't bring it back any dirtier. How about uh 50 credits?

SPEAKER_02 32:49

Uh you got this right.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Who's the negotiator?

SPEAKER_02 32:52

I think that would also be Chris. I mean, it's 50 credits though.

SPEAKER_08 32:55

I mean, it's 50 credits. I can I can afford 15 15 credits. 50. 5-0. 50- Oh my god, 50 credits! I thought you said 15, therefore. I will pay the 50 credits, and I will make sure that you know that we uh plan to use your uh speater with the utmost respect.

SPEAKER_02 33:16

Okay, let's trash this thing.

SPEAKER_08 33:18

Okay, good. It's okay. We're professionals, and then that fair spieler scene happens.

SPEAKER_01 33:23

I really ought to start putting trackers in these things. You uh you ought to start, but not today. And on this piece of junk neither. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 33:31

Are you trying to get us to steal it? What is wrong with you?

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Well, no, I'm just saying. I got better ones if you want, ones that aren't uh shot full of holes. The hole's good counter.

SPEAKER_02 33:41

And we we like this one.

SPEAKER_01 33:42

And look at this hole. I don't even know what made this kind of hole any and there's this like long, like a cut, like a melted cut through part of it.

SPEAKER_07 33:51

Each scar is a badge of honor that tells a story. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

Yeah, once this guy lets us have the speeder, I I g we gotta go rifling around in the glove compartment. See if they left anything behind.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

Uh, you can pop open the glove compartment. They uh didn't leave anything behind in the stolen speeder.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

Damn. Anything under the seats? I I just got I I I wanted this one because it's like, well maybe there's something that they left.

SPEAKER_01 34:17

Do you think that somebody like dropped something, or do you think that it was like intentionally left behind for somebody to find?

SPEAKER_02 34:24

I'm thinking that someone I I don't think they would intentionally leave something behind in a stolen speeder, but it's like maybe someone dropped something and it like rolled under the seats.

SPEAKER_01 34:33

Okay. So uh if you're looking for something that is potentially like rolled under the seat somewhere and was sort of accidentally left in the speeder, uh, are you gonna look while while you're driving or are you gonna pull over?

SPEAKER_02 34:47

Uh let's maybe pull over to take a look.

SPEAKER_01 34:50

Okay, so once you uh get outside the city, you can kind of pull over in a uh non-uh suspicious place on the side of the road and investigate this speeder. If you're looking for something that was accidentally dropped and rolled that wouldn't immediately be found by the guy after he got it back, that'd probably be a three purple perception to search for it.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

Three purple? Ooh. About two success and four threat. In the distance, we hear our ship explode in the sea. Oh no.

SPEAKER_08 35:21

Oh gosh. What have we done?

SPEAKER_02 35:24

Anyone else want to try to roll to see if we can counteract those threats?

SPEAKER_01 35:28

I mean, you found two success. Yeah, you found whatever is there. So you're like looking and you like touch something and you uh pull it out, and it is like a clump of like long hair with like blood congealed at the ends.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

Toss that away into the seat back where I found it. Ah! What the fuck? Hey uh, Chris, you you knew this guy, right? Does that look like his hair?

SPEAKER_08 36:00

Um, can I roll something to find out if that looks like his hair?

SPEAKER_01 36:04

Uh well, when you knew him, his hair was starting to fiercely recede, so.

SPEAKER_02 36:08

That looked like the hair of any of the ones he left with?

SPEAKER_01 36:11

Um, both of uh the aliens, the Tweelec and the other alien, didn't have hair, and the human wore his hair pretty short.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

Oh god, I wonder if they killed the farmer and like just replaced him with one of these Jedi. Because he said he said they only came back with three. Well, there's that. A little nasty. A little nasty, but it was there. Let's just keep on going.

SPEAKER_08 36:33

Let's just keep on going. I don't think this is him, and if it is, then boy, he uh really really let himself go.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

So you can uh get back in the speeder after dumping the hair?

SPEAKER_02 36:47

Or should we hang on to the hair?

SPEAKER_01 36:49

Do you want to hang on to the hair? Let's hang on to the hair just in case.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

Yeah. That way we have it.

SPEAKER_08 36:54

It's better to have it and not need it, and need it and not have it.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

Yeah, exactly. What if we need a clump of hair?

SPEAKER_08 37:00

A clump of bloody hair.

SPEAKER_02 37:03

Listen, have you ever found yourself in a situation where you're like, God, I could really use a clump of bloody hair right now?

SPEAKER_07 37:10

Maybe we need to disguise ourselves, you know, at some point.

SPEAKER_02 37:13

Stick that on the side of your head.

unknown 37:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 37:16

It's like Boba fell. This is my braided woofy scalp.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

Starzan, you have you have hair, you can stick that on you, right?

SPEAKER_07 37:24

Just weave it in.

SPEAKER_02 37:26

Exactly. You don't even notice that it doesn't belong.

SPEAKER_07 37:29

It is normal for Starzan to be covered in the blood of others.

SPEAKER_02 37:34

Anyways, let's continue out to this farm.

SPEAKER_01 37:36

So you can continue out to the farm. Um, and you can find it. Uh, it is kind of like nestled in the hills. You can see that there's like some irrigation equipment and some crops that are sort of surrounding it. And you can see that there is a a guy there, a human man dressed in the attire of a farmer, uh, kind of like brown coveralls and sort of this tan shirt. Doesn't looks to be about like late 30s, early 40s bearded guy. And he is uh repairing a giant hole in the wall of his house. And when he hears you approaching the sound of your speeder and the look of your speeder, like you see him like hustling over uh to grab this like little toddler off the ground and pick him up and unholster a blaster pistol from like a holster at his side and like point it at you as you guys roll out. It was not me. I did not do it. It was the one-armed man.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

Stick our hands out the windows to be like, we're not armed!

SPEAKER_08 38:44

We're not we're not armed, we are not dangerous. Uh-huh. I've seen that speeder before. How have you seen the speeder before?

SPEAKER_01 38:51

Well, a few days ago it uh did this. And he indicates the big hole in his wall. Or at least the people inside did.

SPEAKER_08 38:58

Oh, that's thankfully it was not us. We are just renting this place. This is a rent a speeder. What are you doing here? Uh we are looking for some uh old colleagues of ours.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

And he f and he fires at your speeder. And he says, What? Or not? Maybe it's not.

SPEAKER_08 39:13

We're not colleagues in an adventure, it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

No, uh uh colleagues is the wrong word. We're we've been we've been sent to investigate the people who did this to your farm. We just wanted to ask you some questions.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

I didn't talk to the police, and I'm not talking to you.

SPEAKER_02 39:27

We're not the caps!

SPEAKER_01 39:28

And who are you? We are the Empire Wreckers!

SPEAKER_02 39:33

Hi at mercenaries!

SPEAKER_01 39:35

Yeah, well, who hired you? Uh the Huts!

SPEAKER_08 39:40

That's probably a bad idea.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

Well, okay, because I feel like it will be worse to be like the Republic, since this is a separatist world, though. And it's like if they think that crime lords hired us, then it might be like, oh shit, I better just comply.

SPEAKER_08 39:53

Very true.

SPEAKER_02 39:54

Um sorry, you go ahead, Chris. You're the first contact expert.

SPEAKER_08 39:58

I can't really lie to pe uh people, so uh uh we we were uh we were sent here uh by the uh by the republic here, but we are not but we are not here for any trouble. We are we are just here to see if we can find our p uh find the people that we may have lost many, many days ago. Many, many months ago, many, many years ago.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

Oh yeah, prove it. Prove that I'm looking for people. Prove that you're here, sent by the Republic hunting the people who did this to me.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

Do I have a badge I can pull out? I mean, we can like Elyria has her lightsaber, she's like, I am a Jedi.

SPEAKER_06 40:36

Uh do these people.

SPEAKER_02 40:38

There's that Jedi confidence we love so much. I don't know if they like Jedi, but it's like the Jedi are aligned with the Republic right now. If it seems like we have a Jedi with us.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

Like Sullust is aligned with the Separatists. It's far moon full of farmers, may not care. Yeah. How dare they?

SPEAKER_06 40:58

Alright. I'll pull out my lightsaber. And ignite it and say, step aside, we please stop uh interfering with our investigation.

SPEAKER_08 41:09

I thought you were gonna say, step aside, weeb. That's what I thought you were gonna say, too.

SPEAKER_02 41:13

Funkinerd! Is that your anime body pillow that you're hiding behind you?

SPEAKER_01 41:18

Fucking jump. And that does kind of make him lower his gun. And he says, You're Jedi. Uh yeah. Uh. We we are Jedi adjacent. Jedi hunting Jedi. Do you hunt Jedi? No, I don't hunt anything. Uh farm. Then what do you then what do you do, if I may ask? I farm. I raise my son. I used to love my wife. Ah, and then she became a frigid bitch.

SPEAKER_08 41:43

I've heard that story before.

SPEAKER_07 41:45

Farming? A man of your talents!

SPEAKER_02 41:48

That is a spicy choice, Chris.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

God, I hope he doesn't shoot you. He's gonna shoot you.

SPEAKER_10 41:58

Oh no, no, sorry, I'm gonna die.

SPEAKER_08 42:00

Or she died. I'm sorry, uh, I'm sorry, I didn't uh I'm sorry, I misread that situation.

SPEAKER_02 42:05

Yeah, sorry he f he gets real awkward in uh ten situations, you know, people like laugh at inappropriate times. He's really sorry. We're so sorry about your wife.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

Well, I'm guessing whoever that speeder belongs to, they must have cleaned the blood off of it then. Her blood.

SPEAKER_10 42:24

Oh no! Oh no!

SPEAKER_08 42:26

Oh no, the hair! Oh no, this is even worse.

SPEAKER_02 42:29

Oh no! Uh but yeah, yeah, yeah, we're the uh obviously this is uh this is our Jedi Commander. Our Jedi Commander, and we're uh we're we're just uh we're investigating Jedi who are or people who are maybe um doing ill deeds and making sure that they're brought to justice. We want justice for for your family and your farm and your wife, where that's all we're looking for.

SPEAKER_06 42:55

Why do you think they targeted you?

SPEAKER_02 42:57

That sounds like Did they target you? Sorry, my brain f uh my brain heard that like a threat, but it's like, no no, like if they were targeting you. Like my presence is one, so like you are it It sounded like you already knew why they were being targeted and you were here to finish the job or something. Why do you think they were targeting you? But no, that is not how it was uh meant to be interpreted. But but yeah, uh, do you think do you know if there's any particular reason why they might have um come after you and your family?

SPEAKER_01 43:31

Well, I know why they came after me.

SPEAKER_02 43:33

Oh, okay. And go on.

SPEAKER_01 43:37

Well, I don't know that I can trust you with that information.

SPEAKER_08 43:40

Uh what's uh what would you need in order for us to be trusted with said information?

SPEAKER_01 43:46

Well, I need to know that you're not gonna use the information to uh do anything you shouldn't, I guess. Do anything we shouldn't.

SPEAKER_06 43:53

Uh Dude, your wife is dead. What else do you have to lose?

SPEAKER_02 43:57

Because if you're cooking drugs out here like we don't give a fuck. About that.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

I'm not cooking drugs. I farm. Look, I used to know a thing or two about uh Jedi customs. I don't anymore, but I'm not like some of the people you see out here. I'm a good man, and I try to live by the living force. I do I do what I can to to help people, and I don't want any trouble. Yeah, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_08 44:24

That is okay. We don't want trouble as well.

SPEAKER_02 44:27

Yeah, we we just want to make sure that these uh these people don't cause any more trouble for any more good people like yourself.

SPEAKER_08 44:33

Yeah. We are here to keep the peace. We are peacekeepers.

SPEAKER_02 44:37

But also justice dispensers, because like you want justice, right?

SPEAKER_08 44:41

And not just ass. I have learned my lesson.

SPEAKER_02 44:44

God damn it, Chris. I know you're nervous, but you gotta stop me.

SPEAKER_08 44:51

I am so scared. He shot at me.

SPEAKER_01 44:55

Well, he was going good, huh? Why don't you give me a charm? Me? Well, whoever's trying to convince him.

SPEAKER_02 45:00

Uh I feel like that's gonna be you. I only have to do that.

SPEAKER_08 45:04

That probably sh that probably should be me. Alright, what kind of what kind of charm are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 45:08

Uh well, he doesn't like you, so that'll add two blacks. Um I'm gonna give you a destiny point because he doesn't like you and he doesn't want to tell you. Uh so that is gonna be um a red, a purple, and two blacks charm. Red, purple, two blacks. Um I don't think he's letting you get close enough to use your pheromones.

SPEAKER_08 45:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 45:28

You fart in his general direction.

SPEAKER_08 45:29

I fart and I w I fart and then I quaffed it over to him. Please, sir, my musk, my musk. Is that Tricar Noir? I can take away one of those blacks.

SPEAKER_01 45:42

And ooh, two success, three advantage.

SPEAKER_09 45:45

Ah, nice.

SPEAKER_01 45:46

And he says, you know, as I stand here talking to you, I can recognize something of myself in you. People who maybe are acting out because this is the first taste of freedom that they've had in a while. Maybe people who uh have been taught manners have been kept living a strict lifestyle for a while. Isn't that right?

SPEAKER_02 46:06

Whatever you say. Wait, does this guy also have the vibe of someone who came from the service corps?

SPEAKER_01 46:11

Well, he says he used to know about Jedi matters a little bit, and he doesn't anymore. He is a farmer.

SPEAKER_02 46:17

Oh, I wonder if he used to be in the exploration corps. If he like went A-WOL or something.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

Were you in the exploration corps? Agricultural Corps, actually.

SPEAKER_02 46:26

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 46:29

I've probably got my old green tunic around here somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 46:32

Starzan, you got your blue one? Eh.

SPEAKER_01 46:38

I probably should have recognized, but I was trying not to look there.

SPEAKER_02 46:43

Everyone does.

SPEAKER_01 46:44

Uh we, yes, of course. But if you're with the Jedi and you're members of the Corps like myself, then maybe I can trust you.

SPEAKER_02 46:52

Heck yeah, dude. Does does that have anything to do with why uh these uh the the folks were after ya?

SPEAKER_01 46:59

Well, not directly. After I uh came of age, I decided to strike out on my own. I left the service corps, and I uh as I expect you might be familiar with, I decided to try living it up a little while. I fell in with uh men of ill repute and working with hookers? No, no, just uh mercenaries, smugglers and the like. Just turned me out like a hand puppet.

SPEAKER_02 47:29

Sorry, continues how ignore us.

SPEAKER_01 47:32

Don't mind us. Anyway, I fell in with a fellow by the name of Jurg and worked with him for a little while. And he had this base on a an uncharted world in an uncharted system. And while I was looking around there, I came across something that uh I get the feeling had been hidden for quite a while. Like what? Well, it was part monument, part grave. It was a valley filled with carved statues of Jedi filled with what I can only describe as trapped spirits. If you had ever been there, you would you would know, but it was uh unlike anything I've ever felt, a great power there in that valley, and it made me feel things. I felt what those spirits had sacrificed, and I understood that these were Jedi who had died, and this place was made as a monument to them, but I also realized that this place, this uncharted planet and this uncharted system, was kept hidden for a reason, because I felt that I could tap into that power if I so choose, and it would have been easy.

SPEAKER_02 48:42

Oh, right, because you just left.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

And I forgot about it. I came here to Sioux Lawn, I returned to being a farmer, and I fell in love and I got married, and I had a son, and for a while it seemed like that was it until a few days ago, when this Jedi and his allies came to my farm asking about Jerg, the smuggler that I worked for, and where his base was, and I could tell that their designs had ill intent, so I didn't tell them. So he threatened my family. He killed my wife, threatened my son.

SPEAKER_08 49:14

God damn.

SPEAKER_01 49:15

One of them turned against him. He's buried in my backyard.

SPEAKER_08 49:19

Aww.

SPEAKER_09 49:19

Oh, so that's why it was only the three that came back.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

They ransacked my home, they took all my old star charts from my smuggling days, and I'd hoped I would be able to move past it.

SPEAKER_02 49:30

Uh, based on what they were able to steal from you, do you think uh they they would know the location of the uh the the the sound like the Valley of the Jedi, the Valley of the Jedi?

SPEAKER_01 49:40

I never learned what it was called, but it certainly was a Valley of Jedi.

SPEAKER_02 49:43

Yeah, because it that that was the thing that uh is it Jarek or Jarek?

SPEAKER_01 49:47

Jarek.

SPEAKER_02 49:48

I'm I'm thinking Jarek, and it's like, no, that's Deep Space Nine. Because that was the thing that Jarek was looking for, right? Was the the Valley of the Jedi. Yeah, but uh ba based on the star charts he got from you, do you think that uh he would be able to pinpoint where uh Jerigal's base was?

SPEAKER_01 50:06

Well, uh most of my old charts were smugglers' charts and were encrypted, but with uh enough effort, I assume he probably could eventually.

SPEAKER_02 50:15

And uh do you think he'd tell us where it is? So we could go and apprehend him if he's uh on his way there?

SPEAKER_01 50:23

Well, I'm nothing if not a believer in the will of the force, and I think that you Jedi coming here to write what this fellow and his group did wrong, uh, might be a sign. So I think I could probably remember.

SPEAKER_09 50:37

That's good. That's good. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 50:39

Do you need something to jog your memory? No, no, it's it's fine. I just while you're here though, and he kind of kind of tells you to wait a second, and he goes back into his house, and he comes back after a moment carrying a lightsaber, and he says, This belonged to the man who died, the man who tried to protect my family. If you could uh I I don't want to say uh avenge him. That's not Jedi don't take revenge, but Oh, we can ven we can venge him.

SPEAKER_08 51:09

That's okay. We are not quite Jedi, we are almost Jedi.

SPEAKER_02 51:13

Man, I was just thinking we should be asking about that thing too. But uh you know, we'll uh we'll make sure that his sacrifice wasn't in vain, and we can uh, you know, take this to be interred at the Jedi Temple so they know that he died. A Jedi still.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

That would be best, I think. And he also hands you a uh a data card with some kind of like hastily jotted down coordinates, and he says, I think this is where the planet was. Uh it was many years ago now, so I I can't be certain, but this is probably your best bet.

SPEAKER_02 51:45

Well, well, thank you. Thank you very much, sir. You know, thoughts with your family and and all that. If his kid is still kind of hiding behind, I'm all like awkwardly wave to the child, just like, hi.

SPEAKER_01 51:57

Hello. And the kid seems nervous, but um the farmer says, Kyle, will you say goodbye to the to the friendly Jedi? And he's and he waves and he says, Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_05 52:09

Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_02 52:10

Bye-bye, child, who I'm certain is never gonna have an impact on the galaxy. I don't say that. I don't say that. I'll I'll just wave bye-bye to uh young Kyle.

SPEAKER_06 52:20

Let's kill him.

SPEAKER_02 52:22

Bye bye. Kill this kid. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 52:27

Just that just that, like jealous of this kid.

SPEAKER_02 52:30

That's what it turns out. We're here to finish the job.

SPEAKER_01 52:33

I don't know. You don't know, you don't know what's gonna happen. Maybe this kid could grow up to become a Jedi knight who fights against dark forces. Can happen.

SPEAKER_10 52:40

What did you say your last name was?

SPEAKER_01 52:43

Well, people call me Morgan, but my name is Morgan Katar.

SPEAKER_06 52:48

Never heard of him.

SPEAKER_01 52:49

Cool, anyway, see you later.

SPEAKER_07 52:52

That little boy who nobody liked.

SPEAKER_02 52:55

Uh, do we do we want to get back on our on our ship? I know that Gray mentioned we could talk to the police on the planet, but uh I don't know if that's gonna be I don't know if we're gonna get anything else from them.

SPEAKER_01 53:06

Yeah, you got coordinates. You might need to to astrogate to narrow it down, but Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:10

I don't know, what do we think? Do we just wanna astrogate and see, or do we want to like maybe go talk to the the spaceport or something and see uh if they had uh their own coordinates plugged in or something? Or just go for it.

SPEAKER_07 53:22

Test it. How did our last coordinates roll go?

SPEAKER_02 53:25

Really good. Elyria's good at astrogation. Elyria's good at her job, right? Yeah.

unknown 53:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:34

Again, that confidence is awe-inspiring.

SPEAKER_08 53:38

Fucking on point.

SPEAKER_02 53:39

Okay, do we just want to try to astrogate and go then?

SPEAKER_01 53:42

Yeah, you can return uh to the town, and the uh speeder rental guy is uh very happy that you brought it back. He's a little suspicious because you brought it back so soon. He's like, what's wrong with it? And we are finished with using it. Thank you very much. You've only been gone like like an hour and a half.

SPEAKER_02 54:01

Yeah. We just had a little errand to run.

SPEAKER_01 54:03

A little errand. Okay. You do seem pretty suspicious. You come into town, you land, you take a speeder, you're gone for 90 minutes, you come back, and then and then you're just going again.

SPEAKER_02 54:16

There's a clump of bloody hair on the passenger seat.

SPEAKER_08 54:19

It's not gonna explode. It's not. It won't. It's not gonna explode more than it uh was going to explode before. He reaches in really quickly and just like starts shutting it down.

SPEAKER_02 54:28

Unless we want to see if we can find someone in town who can defuse that bomb on our ship.

SPEAKER_01 54:33

We know any diffusers. I don't think you'd know any diffusers that live here.

SPEAKER_02 54:37

Yeah, is there anywhere where uh we could go that looks like they might have someone who is willing to do a bomb diffusion who's kinda shady? Are there any sketchy-looking locksmiths?

SPEAKER_01 54:47

Yeah, like a streetwise.

SPEAKER_02 54:48

Would that be for streetwise?

SPEAKER_01 54:51

Uh, that would probably be here. Uh you're unfamiliar uh with the city, uh, but uh here it would be like two purple and a black.

SPEAKER_07 54:59

Ooh, one threat. I'm gonna try it. I'm probably gonna fail terribly. But you know what?

SPEAKER_02 55:04

Yeah, why not?

SPEAKER_07 55:05

One failure, one advantage.

SPEAKER_02 55:06

One advantage, at least.

SPEAKER_06 55:08

One failure, one threat.

SPEAKER_07 55:10

Threat. No!

SPEAKER_08 55:11

Just a threat. He's a tiny threat. A minor threat. Just a little, just a wee little threat.

SPEAKER_02 55:16

We can't find any locksmiths because they're already trying to break onto our ship. Yeah, there's some They've already defused the bomb and have stolen whatever's inside.

SPEAKER_01 55:25

Yeah, there's there's some like guys that are like lurking around like the docking bay. They've got like they're like, oh, we weren't doing nothing. We weren't doing nothing. We were just uh we were just cleaning. Yeah, yeah, we were just cleaning.

SPEAKER_05 55:37

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_08 55:38

Yeah. Doubt. And what were your cleaning skids, sir?

SPEAKER_05 55:41

Oh, we were just we were just cleaning your nice we were just cleaning your nice ship here. We it's such a nice the HWK 290. It's such a nice type of vessel. It's got so many hidden little compartments and things in it.

SPEAKER_02 55:54

Yeah, it looks real clean.

SPEAKER_08 55:55

Do you know, uh, do you touch everybody's ship while they're not around?

SPEAKER_05 55:59

Oh yeah, we're the uh we're the c we we're the cleaning crew.

SPEAKER_08 56:05

Why are you s why are you saying it's like that?

SPEAKER_05 56:07

Well that's what we are!

SPEAKER_08 56:09

Why why do you have to elongate your vowels?

SPEAKER_02 56:13

Can I kind of pointedly shoulder my gun, like make sure it's being seen? Just like looks plenty clean. I think it's plenty clean.

SPEAKER_01 56:20

I'll give me a coercion. Give me a two purple and a blue coercion. Two purple and a blue.

SPEAKER_08 56:27

Because I'm daddy, I'll I'll get like, well, do your coercion first and then we'll see what's going on here. See what happens.

SPEAKER_02 56:34

One failure with three advantage.

SPEAKER_01 56:36

So, uh, Starzan, you got some advantage. Like, you're standing like really close to one of these guys, and like they don't really care about you, Kala, but like you next to Starzan also makes it clear how huge this guy is. These these are like weird little like these are Sullastons, like emaciated Sullustons that look like they have very long bony fingers, perfect for lockpicking.

SPEAKER_05 57:00

And they're like, maybe we should, uh, maybe we should, yeah, let's get let's go clean the next chip over. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, let's just get out of here. Don't uh you can it's fine, we'll it's okay.

SPEAKER_08 57:11

I g I I give these guys like uh how many are there? Uh how many are there there? There's like three of them. I g I give these guys ten credits each, and I'd be like, you you stay out of trouble, otherwise.

SPEAKER_04 57:24

You're so generous. You're so generous, my man.

SPEAKER_01 57:27

Go away. They they do they leave you alone. You guys got some advantages. Uh so they do forget a lockpick set on the ship.

SPEAKER_02 57:38

Oh, don't mind if I do. And would would would I be able to just give the outside of the ship a quick once over just to make sure that they didn't fuck it up too much?

SPEAKER_01 57:46

Yeah, so they did manage to like get in, uh, or at least open the door to to leave their stuff in there, but uh if you want to give me a perception against this it will be against these guys, Skullduggery. Uh, so that would probably be a one purple perception.

SPEAKER_02 58:03

Damn. Two success and a threat.

SPEAKER_01 58:06

You do find that like their tool use is very unstudied, and they did kind of like break the lock to get into it, so it's like as long as you're using the custard gannet, uh, you're not gonna be able to lock it.

SPEAKER_02 58:20

Great. We're not gonna have the door flying open while we're in hyperspace, are we?

SPEAKER_01 58:25

No, like those locks still work, but you can't like turn the lock on. You can't like activate the lock. I want the ship where the door won't fly off while we go into hyperspace.

SPEAKER_02 58:34

That's fine. That's fine. Okay, do we want to get in the cockpit and uh see if Elyria can astrogate this thing?

SPEAKER_01 58:40

Yeah, so uh you have the general coordinate from Morgan, and that will add two blue onto this is an uncharted system in an uncharted planet. So that will be a three purple with two blue astrogation.

SPEAKER_06 58:55

Five success, two threats.

SPEAKER_01 59:00

Yeah, it is enough to locate uh the planet where that is the most likely, but it's not gonna be a fast trip. So any like ground that you might be able to make up by not having to decrypt the coordinates first might be lost by the time you get there. So you may not be able to uh arrive first and then kind of wait for him. But eventually you do arrive to this planet. Uh as far as you know, it doesn't have a name. As far as you know, the system it's in is uh unknown. It seems like it was known at some point. The planet is uh quite dry and barren, and you can see that it's like lined with these like canyons and things where it's like it seems like a long time ago it used to have water and it used to have trees, but it doesn't anymore. It doesn't seem like it's livable? Well, it's livable. There's like oxygen and it has, you know, the things that it needs for life, but it seems like a lot of the life there, there may be some like small remnants of uh bushes and shrubs and trees here. You can see that a lot of like, as you get closer, a lot of the forests seem to be almost like fossilized.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:19

Man, we keep going to these previously verdant planets. What's with that? Do we just have bad energy? Bad luck.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:27

This place has an energy about it as you as you approach the surface of uh the planet. Isn't it forcey energy? It is a forcey energy. You can feel it emanating very strongly from this planet. It's likely that the valley uh would be the epicenter of this if you want to try and find that.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:47

What uh before we try to find that, like what you say it has forcy energy. Is there a vibe to the forcey energy? Does it feel like Jedi energy?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:58

Is it Sithy or Jedi? It's hard to tell. It doesn't, it feels like I don't know if you know what Sith energy feels like, but it feels like, um not balanced, but there is certainly a tension between the light and dark here.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:15

Um, because you said we could follow the forciness and try to track it down where this valley might be on the planet. Would I be able to roll the seek power for that?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:25

Let's see if I can get two light side on a s one force rating.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:30

Well, so you are in the vicinity of this planet. At the distance you are from the valley, you can add a uh a light and a dark pip onto whatever you roll.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:40

Okay, cool. I got one light side. So that's two lightside and a dark side. But I'll use those two lightside to gain insight into the general location or direction.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:50

Yeah, so you can uh follow uh the feeling, sort of the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. Your little antennas, like, if they're retracted, they start like pushing up and almost like a dowsing rod, like start pointing towards where you're going.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:06

Oh god, I'm just imagining that fucking scene in Uzumaki where the kid turns into the slug and the little stalk eyes push out of his head. It's like that, except it's Calluset's antenna popping out. Can I s guide us down in the direction?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:22

Yeah, you can guide the ship down in the direction, and it's like almost like a magnetic pole. And as you approach, you can see the valley itself is sort of lined. It's a sort of long valley that's almost it almost feels like it's a a dry riverbed or something, or almost like a canyon, but it's this big long valley that is lined with these enormous Jedi statues, similar to ones that you might see on Jedi or other other planets where ancient Jedi dwelled. These enormous statues that are that feel like they're kind of um almost like standing guard around this valley. And you can see that there is like an sort of an epicenter to it, but you can't set the ship down right there. There is, you can see a sort of hole, like a doorway that leads into what seems to be like a cave system.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:20

And outside that cave system, you can see that there is a ship, a T6 shuttle, which is often used by uh the Jedi, is parked there. It's definitely fairly weathered and has seen uh better days. That's great. Chris, uh, you may recognize this as the shuttle that Jarek and his team left for their expedition on. And you can also see a small camp that is kind of surrounding this shuttle, and there are bodies sort of strewn all about.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:57

Bodies? How many?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:59

Uh, about a dozen.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:00

Oh my lord. Guys, I know that uh we've kind of been going the pacifist route so far with these Jedi we've been dealing with, but um I kind of get the feeling like this might be when we finally have to like this feels like evil that's happening here.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:15

Oh no, and uh as almost Jedi's, we can probably be okay by uh to kill people uh if we are being threatened, so this feels very threatening.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:27

This feels very evil, right? That's not just me.

unknown 1:04:30

No.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:30

Oh, it's very evil, yes. Concentrated evil. Uh let's find whoever's doing this and uh uh put a stop to him one way or another.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:38

Well, can we take a look at the bodies to see uh who has actually been killed here?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:43

Um yeah, so after setting the custard gamut down, you can investigate uh the site, and you can see that they look like roughnecks, smugglers, mercenaries. One of them was crushed by the landing gear of the ship as it sat down.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:02

Oh, that just seems mean. That just seems insulting. Well, is there anything we could roll to um Like do any kind of investigation or Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:14

Uh what are you trying to what are you trying to look around at? The ship, the the camp?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:18

Maybe maybe take a look at the the camp? Because if it's like or maybe take a look at the people who are killed, because it's like if they look like roughnecks, like why were they here? Like were they just hirelings or what?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:32

Uh so give me uh probably a two purple perception, just average to look around. Two purple, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:37

Uh two advantage. I'm not rolling good today. Hey, dice, man.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:42

I got one advantage.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:44

No. Two success, but a threat. So uh Chris, uh so you guys, what are you what are you looking for, Chris? What are you what are you specifically? Because you got success, so you will kind of find whatever it is you're looking for.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:57

More more than anything, I kinda want like. I'm feeling like uh just sort of like evidence of like who is doing this and where they might have gone. For the camp or the ship? Um for the camp, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:09

Okay, so you can you can see that the camp has been there for a lot longer than the ship. Looking around, you can see that there are a couple of like small prefabricated buildings that look like they've been kind of weathered, they're covered in sand that's blown in, uh a little rusted. You can see that the roughnecks are like a a kind of varied group of beings. A lot of them are they seem a little older, mercenary smuggler types. You can see like crates of goods and and things where it's like maybe this was Jerg's camp.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:46

Yeah. Rip Jerg.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:48

You did get that threat. Uh so you do hear something nearby like movement that like surprises you. Oh. Cal unstarz, and you got advantage. So even though Chris is surprised by this, this like old man kind of pops his head out from behind a piece of debris and says, Oh, hello there. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_10 1:07:09

What the f uh, what the fuck? I'll whip around with my gun on him.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:13

Ha!

SPEAKER_01 1:07:13

He's uh he's this like weathered human guy, leathery skin, deep wrinkles, huge bushy white beard, like his eyes are like popping out. He's like, oh don't shoot!

SPEAKER_00 1:07:23

Don't shoot. You're you're not here to you're not here to follow you're not here to follow, follow those guys. I they shot up my whole camp.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:31

Uh no, we are not here to shoot uh follow those guys who shut up your camp. We are trying to find the people who shut up the camp and stop them from shooting up other camps.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:41

Oh, that's that's good, cause uh ain't nobody left. By chance are you jerkle? Ah, they call me jerk!

SPEAKER_08 1:07:48

When you say there's nobody left, do you mean there's nobody uh including the people that you've uh What do you mean there's nobody left?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:56

Well, that ship came down and they uh took to the guns on the ship and they blasted the hell out of us and they landed on some poor soul over there and they came out with a laser sword swinging at us, trying to we tried to tell them that we were just smugglers. We didn't want any trouble from the Jedi, but they just they just cut us all down. So you said that a Jedi did this?

SPEAKER_08 1:08:20

Yeah, three of 'em. Hmm. Do you know do you know what they look like? Do you remember did they happen to say their names?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:27

Well, I didn't show who they were as they were uh murdering my folks, but uh it was uh I don't know, some kind of kind of humanoid, uh, one of them twillecks and a uh oh I know a Boltrunian when I see one. A what? Yeah, Boltrunian!

SPEAKER_09 1:08:44

Can you describe that for me?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:46

Ah, it's an ugly orange son of a gun. Hmm. Yes, full of sharp fangs and just the ugliest face you ever saw. You say Boltrunian? No, Boltrunian.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:59

Boltruni. Would is that anything?

SPEAKER_08 1:09:02

Or is he like something to say thing?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:04

Well, it's like, is that is that actually a thing, or is this like fucking weird old man shit, and he's like, oh, and it's like if we were to think about it, it's like, no, that's just a trandocian he's describing.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:14

Uh, if you want to give me like a two purple and a black knowledge Synology. Two purple knowledge geezer.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:21

I don't have any ranks.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:23

Still laughing about Balchinian.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:27

Uh, three failures, but an advantage.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:29

I got one advantage.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:31

One failure, one threat. Two advantage. You you don't know, you've never heard of a Boltrunian. Uh, but when he's describing him, like weird, like orange skin, hideous face, full of fangs, uh, mouth mouth full of fangs. Um, Chris, you got that advantage. You do remember, like, oh, the third, like the alien that you didn't know who he was, uh, that was in Jerek's group when he left on the mission looked like that. And Illyria and Kala, you may not have uh seen or met. Maybe you did, maybe you did meet this guy. Uh, but if there was ever like a really ugly-looking alien Jedi who had a bad attitude that you ever came across, uh, it was a fellow who was known as Maw. Yeah. And he and he matches this description. And if you had discussed anything about Jarek with uh Chris while you were traveling, you might go, oh, that's that's probably Maw that he's talking about.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:33

Oh no, she's not here. Oh, just say, uh, okay, and uh see ya. Those three, and they went in there?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:42

Yeah, they went into that uh hole over there. I didn't fall. A hole? When did they go into that hole? Probably an hour or two ago. It wasn't long.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:51

It wasn't long. Well, that's uh terrifying. Well, uh, we're gonna make sure that everything is okay. Why you you do that? You uh you keep this place safe, I think. I mean, we will keep this place safe. Uh we just kind of look at each other like why like I don't know why you would say you would think we would keep this place safe. We're obviously gonna keep this place safe.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:12

See now my brain is remembering that it's like right, the door to our ship doesn't lock. Can we put the wheelbar on so this guy doesn't steal our ship?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:21

I mean, there's two ships here. If he was gonna steal a ship, he might have already taken the Jedi's shuttle if he's a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:27

That's true, that's a good point. Okay. Uh well uh we'll we'll be back in a little bit, I guess. Alright, I'll see you later. See you later.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:35

Do you have any flashlights or something that we might be able to use? Or uh are there light switches inside the cave?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:42

Oh yeah, you can uh check inside my hut there. Yeah, let's go.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:46

You have a hut in there? Oh, the hut, okay.

SPEAKER_10 1:11:49

We go into this little lean two, and there's a hello.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:56

I'm sorry, we need to check inside you.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:59

Yo dog, we heard you like huts, so we put a hut in your hut.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:02

God, the hut just like lifts up his folds to reveal the stores.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:08

Uh well, you you can go in and like on his like tool bench, like there is a body draped over it. Not a hut, but there is a body draped over it.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:16

Ugh. Uh, Chris raises a good point though. Any light flashlights in here?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:21

Yeah, you can you can s kind of scrounge your do you touch the body or do you just kinda like go around it?

SPEAKER_08 1:12:28

Um, we can maybe uh we can maybe investigate it, like uh, if at all. Maybe maybe there's something helpful on there.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:36

I mean, the body is just like it's just like f somebody stabbed it in the back with a lightsaber and it just kind of collapsed on the tool bench. Never mind then.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:44

What kind of monster?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:45

I'm just wondering if you're if you're gonna touch the body, touch the dead body to get the flashlights, or if you're just gonna look around somewhere else. Because it may, if there are flashlights in there, you might have to move the body. I don't know how you feel about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:56

I I mean we can move the body if we need to. We know what happened here. It's not like it's a crime scene where we're gonna have to wait for the forensics team to arrive.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:07

We know what happened. You can you can m slide the body off and uh dig around in the tool chest. And he says, Yep, yep, that's mine.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:15

It's okay if we take us.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:17

Make sure it don't get broken or nothing.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:18

E we'll do our best. We'll do our best. Alright.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:21

Let's break his shit. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You and your nervous jokes, Chris.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:29

You and your nervous joking. Okay, do we uh do we want to head on in? If we have some lights flight rods or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:36

Yeah, you got some flashlights and you can head on into the tunnels. Uh that seem to be like it's not it may have been at one point a natural cave, but there's definitely been some architecture. Added buttressing and uh ornamentation, Jedi style, the same sort of like guardian statues align it, and as you sort of enter, you can feel like it's more apparent as you go into the tunnels. You kind of felt it a little bit, but maybe you didn't notice it. But as you go into the tunnels, you can feel that like the air is like thick. There's like with a C K or uh or just Q-U-E. And you can't there's no breeze that you can feel, but you can hear the sound of wind that that sounds like like the wailing of the dead. It could be wind, but maybe it's just ghosts.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:33

The wailing of the dead. That's not uh it could just be ghosts. It could it doesn't have to be ghosts, but it could be ghosts.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:41

Maybe it's just ghosts.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:43

You ever hear the wailing of the dead, but it just turns out it's just ghosts? Occam's reason. Isn't that embarrassing?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:49

Yeah, it could it could be wind or it could be ghosts, but you're not feeling any wind.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:53

Maybe we've talked to a spectral Jedi ghost in the past. You don't know. I mean, probably not, because I think Qui-Gon was like the first one to do that.

SPEAKER_08 1:15:02

Possibly. Well, let's uh keep on guard, Fuzzy.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:05

Yeah, we'll stay on guard for ghosts. Proceed with caution.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:08

You wanna proceed with caution? Uh stay on guard for ghosts. Would that be vigilance, probably?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:14

Eeeee Probably. If if I turned off whatever flashlight we're using, would I be able to use stealth if it's like if these Jedi are waiting in ambush or if we're gonna come up upon them suddenly just so I won't be noticed?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:29

How well can you see in the dark?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:30

Uh probably not great. Probably not great. I'll do vigilance. I get a bit automatic to advantage to vigilance.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:39

That's good.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:40

That would be all of us, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:41

Get N Vigy with it. Uh whoever wants to, whoever wants to stay vigilant. I'll stay vigilant. What's the difficulty? Uh so this would probably you're you're hiding from the Jedi?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:55

I feel like the Jedi are gonna be more of a threat than the ghost. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:15:59

I mean the ghosts are probably here to help us.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:01

We'll call it a uh three purple vigilance. Or stealth if you're sneaking.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:09

One success, one advantaged vigilance.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:12

Well, with my bonus advantage, I have one failure.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:17

Uh vigilance. Three failure, one triumph, one advantage. A success, but a threat.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:24

Chris and Illyria, you can kind of keep your wits about. You sort of keep a bit of a wide uh berth. If you hear any like wailing sounds, you can be like, what if we went down the other hallway? Sort of steer clear of anything that sounds like it might attack you.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:41

Sounds like a ghost.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:42

Yeah. Starzan, um, you are uh you you somebody sees you. You're not vigilant, they kind of sneak up on you. Yeah. Kala, you got failure as well. So you hear like this wailing kind of like passing behind you. Chris and Illyria. You can see like there there are like these sort of dim shapes moving around, and Starzan from behind you, you hear, oh, they're not gonna hurt you if you don't hurt them.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:09

Oh there! Who is this? Oh, I just thought maybe you could uh use a little bit of guidance. I know these tunnels quite well. And who are you?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:18

We met him outside, Stasan. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:20

This is the same guy, right?

SPEAKER_08 1:17:22

Yeah, this is Jerg. This is a brother, Merg.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:25

Could I could I roll a perception on the this seems weird to like follow us in and get the jump on us after the other? Yeah, it feels it feels that feels weird.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:34

It is weird, and I was right.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:36

Yeah, so what kind of uh your perception?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:39

And this is like to kind of figure out his deal.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:42

Yeah. Yeah, what's the one?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:44

What's the vibe check? Okay, give me a two purple then.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:47

God damn it, I'm rolling so fucking bad. One failure, two advantage.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:51

A failure, but two advantage. One threat.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:56

Hmm, two success, three threat.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:59

Well, at least one of us succeeded.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:00

Yeah, so uh stars, and you got that threat. Like he came up behind you. It's like you don't know what this guy's deal is. You don't like anyone who sneaks up on you. Uh Illyria, you got two success, but three threat. Something suspicious there is something suspicious about this guy. And you may like maybe it was too dark, maybe you didn't notice, but like getting like looking at him again in this sort of lack of light, it's like, oh, this guy, like, the body you pulled off the tool cabinet was Jerg's body.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:36

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01 1:18:37

Uh Kala and Chris, this place is a virgence in the force. Your own abilities are heightened here. Uh, this is a tomb of sorts, a monument to uh the dead. There are ghosts all around. You're you can't tell whether he's a ghost or if it's just the force wearing his face, but Jerg is some kind of spirit.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:06

Ah, you a ghost man? Yeah, I told you they came and they killed my whole crew. They wiped us all out.

SPEAKER_08 1:19:11

It's uh Oh, so you they wiped you out as well. Uh-huh. They stabbed me in the back. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, man. You alright? Nope, I'm dead. It's a sad it's just a sad day when you when you uh uh are dead. At least you want to be okay with it.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:32

I wanna become a ghost hunter just so my question could be like dead, huh? So you alright?

SPEAKER_08 1:19:37

You okay, fam?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:38

I don't mind.

SPEAKER_10 1:19:43

I'm just hoping one day I'll melt. You'll melt?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:46

Yeah, I'm gonna melt one day, I suppose, if uh if and you're here to clean up the problem that this place has been having.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:53

What what problem? It r ghost retention, is that the problem? Ah, that's one of them.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:01

Well that's the uh that's the tricky thing. You know, uh you four feel uh in tune with the universe as it was. Yeah, I guess. You know, uh they say uh th probably not a great analogy on a a planet that is uh currently uh a desert, but uh the force is uh a bit like an ocean, you see. You know? Uh and each each of us is a cup that gets gets filled with water, you see, and when we die we get poured into the ocean, and the uh some of the some of the Jedi that uh that I read about they could uh have this technique where they freeze themselves like an ice cube. They keep the shape of their glass, and eventually that ice that melts and it joins the ocean, and you can't tell the water from the cup from the water from the ocean. But uh all these spirits here, and me maybe, I don't know, but all of these spirits here, they aren't frozen. They were steam. They're bubbles. Empty bubbles. They still got the shape of the Jedi they used to be, but inside is nothing. I think if you uh take care of the problem down there, those uh evil men that came to do their business, then maybe it'll give some of those bubbles a chance to to pop, if you get my meaning, and the ocean will be a little bit more filled in. That is strangely it's the most beautiful thing I've heard all months. Well, you know what they say, if a woman don't find you uh handy, she should at least find you handsome.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:32

Okay. That was uh That was incredible. You had me in the analogy until you start talking about bubbles, but I think I understand what you're saying. Yeah, okay, well. So, but you were saying you think you g you could help us out. Is there anything in particular that you'd be able to do to help us if you're following us down there?

SPEAKER_00 1:21:54

Oh well, uh, you know, all of us uh spirits here, we uh our bubbles are we can see one another down here, and these I'm a nice cube there, bubbles, but I can kind of retain my shape. I can you want me to take a looky Lou and see what's happening? I can see all the way down past those walls there. These walls ain't nothing to me but mist. Oh, so like foliage. There's some benefits for being dead, isn't there? Well yes, sir, I suppose there is. I can't touch my willy no more, but I can do this.

SPEAKER_08 1:22:24

Well Did you touch your were you touching your willy while you were still alive? How old were you? I was a hundred and twenty six years young.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:35

Your willy still worked at 126? Yes, sir. You keep a good diet and you work out every day and you you keep using a tool and it'll stay it'll stay in good condition. You just gotta take good care of it. Oh dear.

SPEAKER_08 1:22:48

I am legit the legit d I'm impressed.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:53

Are you making notes, Chris?

SPEAKER_08 1:22:54

I'm just say I'm just saying, uh usually people get to a certain age and then uh life loses its luster. He was able to play with his willy until the young age of 126. That is the most beautiful thing I've heard all day, uh compared to the other thing that I heard. That was also beautiful. Well, sir.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:14

An old man talking to you about playing with his willy and that ranks top ten for your day, huh?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:20

The key, young man, the key, my young sir, is you gotta massage the prostate.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:27

Is it still beautiful to you, Chris? It's an activation button. I mean, you're popular. You could probably find someone to massage your prostate, huh?

SPEAKER_07 1:23:34

Is it still a conversation that's doing it for you?

SPEAKER_08 1:23:37

Chris Chris just like looks at his turns and looks away. Luca! You guys are strangely judgy for being students.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:44

I'm not judgy, I'm just saying, you know. I probably could have done without hearing the 126-year-old man talk to us about his willy playing technique. I don't know about everyone else. But good for you, sir.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:59

The conversation you expect to have with a ghost. This man there's so there are so few of us who could say that they lived until the days that they died. This man found a way.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:10

The implication, of course, being that you are only living if you're jacking off. Got it.

SPEAKER_08 1:24:16

Well, no, you find your happiness somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:18

With your will, anyways.

SPEAKER_08 1:24:20

You find your happiness somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:25

Anyways, jerek, sir. Uh Jurg! Jerg, sorry. The other one's Jerek. Jerg, sir. Oh, is are you Jurg because you're always jerkin' off?

SPEAKER_00 1:24:37

Well, that's just cool. That's about the second rudest thing that I ever had somebody do to me today. The first was killing me. While you were talking about your nether regions, I went into the nether regions of the force and I looked over what those fools were doing and they they done reached it. And they uh better hurry, better run.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:58

What are they doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:24:59

Well, sir, they found the thought bomb. Oh no!

SPEAKER_02 1:25:03

I don't know what that is, but I know what that is. Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:07

Thousand years ago, the final battle between good and evil ended with a big bang. A bomb that brought all the souls of the Jedi and the Sith together in this here mausoleum contained never-ending lifeless agony. And I get the feeling that that blind son of a bitch is trying to take that power for herself. Okay, so we should probably like run to go stop him. If you hurry with great speed, you might be able to reach him. I can see if I can put my feelers out into the ocean and slow them down. But beyond that, it'll be up to you. But you can want some ghosts to woo-woo at him and distract them. Notice this is a place of power. The closer you get, the stronger you two will become. Just beware not to succumb to the dark side. Every ocean is susceptible to its own storms, and many a man have died in those rough waves.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:59

Okay, should do we do we need to run about this?

SPEAKER_00 1:26:02

You should probably run about this.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:03

Let's run about this.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:05

What else, Piglio?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:07

This fucking old man talking in his rambling soliloquies, and it's just like, okay, we gotta go.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:13

You can run like right through 'em.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:15

Okay, talk to you more later.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:17

Through through the catacombs, and eventually you come out into this large antechamber, this sort of like it almost looks like an amphitheater, but it's like these ray sort of steps that could be where people like sat and watched like a great concert or a play or something. But instead, in the middle, there is just this mound covered in dirt with a black light sort of softly glowing from the cracks in the stone. And you can see sitting around it are three men: uh Miraluka, a Twieleck, and a Boltrunian, each of them meditating, and you can feel power coursing through the Twiilek and the Baltrunian into the Miraleuka Man.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:03

Well, you say just fucking kill him? I feel like that we probably just need to fucking kill him. Get him. Because like, what's it what's the layout of this room as we're coming in?

SPEAKER_01 1:27:10

Uh, it's it's like a big amphitheater. So it's like this mound in the middle where presumably this thought bomb is covered by stone, and then around it is sort of like this circular-if this was a uh like a concert hall or something, a performance area, and then surrounding that there are what could be perceived as these sort of stepped seats, and there are also like around the far edges of the wall, there are these giant murals of Jedi faces staring down at the center, and more of these sort of Jedi statues that are surrounding with different pathways coming from different parts in the tunnels, all leading to this central chamber.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:52

Okay, well, if these three are all like a ra they're around the mound.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:57

Could I just try to get a shot on the the mound? Main Mira Luka guy, cause like I don't know if I'll be able to kill him, but could at least distract them so they can stop whatever the hell they're doing.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:07

Uh yeah. So what range does your gun have?

SPEAKER_02 1:28:10

Medium, I believe.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:11

Okay. So you will have to uh move into medium range. Uh perhaps jerg, maybe dulling their senses a little bit, but once they know we're here, they'll he that that won't uh that won't matter.

SPEAKER_11 1:28:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:26

Yeah, so you kind of got one shot on this. So we start at two purple for your medium range.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:33

Uh the the black light coming from the mound is illuminating the chamber enough so that darkness isn't gonna be a problem. So uh this is going to be he doesn't have his weapon out, he doesn't have his laser sword, so he won't be able to deflect it, so his uh defense isn't gonna come into play from that. But uh he does have some adversary, so that'll be two reds and two purples.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:55

Ooh, well we're evenly matched.

unknown 1:28:57

Let's see.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:58

I'm waiting for the bad roll.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:00

Shush shush shush.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:01

Are you are you trying to hit destiny? Uh you got three. Are you trying to hit somewhere in specific? Trying to do a clean headshot on him?

SPEAKER_02 1:29:07

Yeah, let's probably just try to do a clean headshot. So that'll add two blacks.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:11

And could I aim twice? Yeah. And if I'm successful, I have shot soft spot. We'll see. What do we have for destiny?

SPEAKER_01 1:29:20

You have three, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:21

Can I flip one?

SPEAKER_01 1:29:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:23

Upgrade. Four failures, but five advantage. So I can't hit him in the head, but maybe that can at least be enough to uh get them to stop whatever the fuck they're doing.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:37

Um, yeah, five advantages. You can kind of, as you're pulling the trigger, you can kind of feel it, it's almost like one and then the other, like almost like invisible hands on the barrel of your gun, sort of pulling it away at the last second. Jesus, are you stopping me? Jesus isn't stopping you. Uh you can you can control you can maintain control enough to hit something else. Jesus is not taking the wheel on this.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:05

One of the other guys or is not something living?

SPEAKER_01 1:30:09

Uh, you got five advantages.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:11

Yeah, you could hit one of the other guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:13

Maybe I'll hit one of the other guys.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:15

Which one? The Boltrunian or the Twilek?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:17

Well, we know that the Baltrunians the kind like, because I I think you were saying that, like, Chris and I had a We're aware that he was kind of a prick.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:26

Yeah, I'll hit the Baltrunian.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:28

So you can fire, uh, even though something is moving your the gun, uh, the barrel of your gun away from Jarek, you can fire and the bullet just explodes through the Baltrunian's head.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:40

Woo! Take that. Well then.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:43

And then they notice you, the other two, awakening from their meditation. The Twilek is the first up. He seems very agile. He activates two violet-bladed lightsabers that kind of make his pale skin seem even sicklier in their light. And Jarek, he doesn't get up. He's sitting meditating. He just floats up and then kind of just extends his legs and moves his head in your direction. You know he doesn't have eyes, so this is a courtesy. And he says, Well, I was wondering if somebody would follow us here. Since very intriguing.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:23

Uh, we were just hoping that you were okay. It's been a while since you've been here. Since uh you've uh uh can came back home and uh checked in on us. We just wanted to be sure, are you okay?

SPEAKER_01 1:31:34

Is this a deception?

SPEAKER_08 1:31:36

No, I'm genuinely curious. Can you give me a charm?

SPEAKER_01 1:31:39

Give me a charm. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:41

You have to add some blacks because I just exploded one of their heads.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:44

Yeah, that's gonna that's gonna add two blacks. Uh so that'll be four red and two black.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:49

Four red and two black. I can take away one of those black. Um, how many destiny points do we got? You have two. I'm gonna flip one and downgrade one. A success, an advantage, and a despair. I got a success and advantage, though.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:05

Yeah. And he says, I'm touched that you came all this way to find me, Chris.

SPEAKER_08 1:32:11

Yes, um uh I'm very curious, uh, why did you kill all those people? They uh they seemed like they were uh doing okay. I was just W last time I saw you guys, you uh you were uh happy uh happy uh fun-loving people. What uh what happened?

SPEAKER_01 1:32:31

Well, we found the valley, Chris. I don't know if you knew exactly what my mission was when we left, but in the intervening years it has become very apparent that my mission must be completed. Would you like to see why?

SPEAKER_08 1:32:46

Uh Um Not in the ways that you uh are asking it of me. Um you could tell me and not show me. Tell, don't show.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:56

Where's the fun in that? And he's gonna use power on you. Of course he is. Uh, are you going to put up any uh resistance when you feel him uh going around in your brain?

SPEAKER_08 1:33:08

I feel like a despair um would probably do something for that.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:14

Uh you think the despair would mean that uh you just don't have the mental wherewithal to even be like, what? And that he's in there?

SPEAKER_01 1:33:23

The the despair is that he's gonna he's gonna force his way in. Like, he's he's not waiting to give you a chance to hear him out. He is going to like shove whatever he's doing. Yeah. You're gonna get some forbidden knowledge here.

SPEAKER_08 1:33:39

Um, I I'm I I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna resist, but it's gonna fail.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:44

Okay. Uh so this will be uh discipline versus discipline. So this will be a uh four red discipline. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:33:51

Four red discipline. What is my discipline? Uh not great. Four red? Yeah. Uh so let's take away all of that and add two green and then one, two, three, four red.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:05

And since since you are in the in the valley of the Jedi, you can uh roll your force with that. Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:11

Yeah, and you can uh convert uh the results into success if you want, success for advantage.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:17

I got uh one failure, three threat, one light side. So I will take that light side and I will take away one of those threats.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:27

Okay. So you can sort of reduce, like as he forces this on you, you do take a couple of points of strain, but you can sort of keep your mind about you enough that it's not too overwhelming. And he says, Chris, I've always been a student of history, of the past, of studying what has happened to this galaxy, and I've learned things, Chris, and I've learned things here that are very important. Do you know the history of the Jedi and the Sith, Chris? The deep history, where the Sith come from. And what have you learned? And he shows you visions of the first Sith, the exiled Jedi whose pride made them delve into the dark side, whose greed made them seek power that they weren't meant to have, and you see ancient Sith of the past, Exarkun, Revan, the Sith who started the war thousand years ago, each of them were Jedi, corrupted by their ideals, corrupted by the idea that they thought that they should hold all the power and decide the fate of the galaxy. And then you see images that you don't recognize, but you recognize the people in them. You've met Mace Windu. Uh, you've never seen him drawing his lightsaber in the office of the Supreme Chancellor. You've seen, and maybe heard, of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. You've never seen Obi-Wan trying to kill the so-called chosen one in a lake of lava. And Jarek says, the cycles continue, Chris. The Jedi are going to end the Republic. And I am going to prevent that from happening by using the power of the valley.

SPEAKER_08 1:36:19

You've basically you've basically lost it, am I, am I correct?

SPEAKER_01 1:36:22

You understand that the things he's showing you are objective visions of the past and future.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:29

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:30

For whatever reason, you feel like with with silver screen 2K digital clarity, that Mace Windu and other prominent Jedi Council members storming the Chancellor's office and drawing their lightsabers on him is an event that will come to pass. Obi-Wan Kenobi trying to murder his apprentice, burning him in a river of lava is an event that will come to pass unless Jarek intervenes.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:57

What's the intervention though? I I don't I don't feel like I feel like I should not talk because he's gonna extra not like me right now, but like.

SPEAKER_08 1:37:05

Okay, uh I'll I'll I can ask. Like, what are you uh planning to do?

SPEAKER_01 1:37:10

Going to use the power of the Valley of the Jedi. I am as a historian, I've studied the mistakes of the past. I know what the Jedi did wrong. I know why they became Sith, I've studied all the old stories.

SPEAKER_08 1:37:22

Are you going to fix the Jedi? So is that the first one?

SPEAKER_01 1:37:25

I'm going to fix everyone.

SPEAKER_08 1:37:27

Uh are you going to be the leader of this new uh following?

SPEAKER_01 1:37:31

No, no, no. I am not a leader. I won't need it. Once I have the power of Who is the leader then? Nobody needs to be the leader. Once I have the power of the valley, I will be able to eradicate all dark thoughts with a whisper. I will be able to banish negative feelings from everybody in the universe. This will be a pure galaxy. Nobody will know selfishness or hate or greed because I will not allow them to.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:01

Hmm. Because you you said when the the Twilek lit up his lightsabers, his purple lightsabers, that he was looking very pale. Um perchance are his eyes looking a little red in this low light.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:16

I mean, they're looking pink, he might just be albino.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:19

Might just be a sickly guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:21

Yeah, he's very bib fortuna looking.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:23

He's bib fortuna coated.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:26

Um, you know, I feel like we kind of just need to like kill this guy, take him in. Guys.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:30

Uh, that's probably not a bad idea.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:32

I don't know if that would do you any good.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:35

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01 1:38:36

Well, look at what you did to my friend Ma over there. Or what you had done to my friend Ma. My power is still minimal, but it is enough to and you see like the blood and the gore in the parts of his brain just like back into his head as if like we're winding a videotape, and the bullet just goes whizzing out back into the barrel of your gun.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:59

Oh I shoot again.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:04

Stop doing that.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:06

Did he bring him back to life? Or is he just like, is he zombied?

SPEAKER_01 1:39:10

No, he he kinda gets up and he seems to have been brought back to life. Uh the valley's power can do anything, or undo anything.

SPEAKER_08 1:39:18

Um, uh do you uh uh do you think that uh uh so few people should be responsible for so much power?

SPEAKER_01 1:39:26

That is why I killed the people out there. Smugglers and mercenaries should not have access to a power of this magnitude. Only we can be trusted. People who have studied the history of the galaxy and know the consequences of falling to the dark side.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:42

How how how uh how do you know you can be trusted? You killed your ally on that other planet, didn't ya? Killed your ally, killed an innocent farmer's wife?

SPEAKER_08 1:39:50

Yeah, you killed a bunch of you killed a whole bunch of innocent people.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:53

Yeah, it sounds like you've already fallen to the dark side. You're already giving into your negative feelings. You can't be trusted with his power.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:59

Ron's death was regrettable, but I thank you for bringing his lightsaber here so it could be present. I know in the force that somewhere he understands what I'm going to do. It was unfortunate that the farmer's wife had to die, but her death is going to prevent so much more chaos across the galaxy. The war that burns worlds is going to end today. That's Sith talk, it's Sith talk! Oh, you don't understand. The power of the Jedi, the power of the Sith brought together can do wonders.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:34

Oh no, you oh, you are Sith. Okay, they he has a Sith, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:38

I do not follow the teachings of failed institutions. I am a student of history. I know the flaws of both, and I know how to correct for them.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:48

Hmm. Sith Doc. Sith Doc.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:50

Uh yes, it's not not uh not for nothing, uh sir, but uh I feel I feel as though you're going a little bit uh too extreme on Zis. I feel as though you are wanting You don't want to remove chaos, you want to uh you you want you you want people to fall in line. They are free to do whatever they wish, but they will not wish to do evil. They will not wish to do evil.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:15

They will not have the capacity to even consider evil deeds.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:19

Hmm. Because I feel I feel like we need to take out this Mira Luca, because I feel like I I don't know if his tweel like friend would be able to undo if he died. I feel like he's uh he's the one we gotta we gotta toast. And I feel like toasting is the only language he's gonna understand right now. Man, there is part of me I'm just like, what does it cost to buy into a new power?

SPEAKER_01 1:41:42

What would it cost if I bought into the suppressed power and just try to like um So with the uh with the power of the Valley of the Jedi and the wisdom of uh an army of uh Jedi here concentrated, if you want to buy a power, uh you will be able to buy it for the reduced discount, like the mentor discount will take effect. And for any powers you have this close to the epicenter of the valley, your force rating is effectively increased by one, and any power you have, you as long as you're in this room, you have all the upgrades.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:23

Ooh. Because maybe I'll buy into uh the suppressed power, because I had 20 XP banked, and then just see if I can like Because he can't even see without the Force.

SPEAKER_08 1:42:35

If I can't see without his glasses in the Force!

SPEAKER_02 1:42:39

He take off his force glasses, loser!

SPEAKER_07 1:42:42

The force bees got him.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:45

Oh shit. Mastery, if the user spends two force pips and succeeds, the target force user immediately uncommits all force die. Would that include the the force required for him to see?

SPEAKER_01 1:42:58

Yeah, and ends all ongoing c effects of the force powers and force talents that require committed. So here in the valley of the Jedi, why why don't you roll me if you're doing this, if you're seeking knowledge uh to get suppressed, roll me a knowledge lore.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:15

Oh shit. Uh, what kind of knowledge lore?

SPEAKER_01 1:43:19

So you're a you you were a student of the Jedi. Uh here in the valley, uh, where you have all these spirits flying around. This we'll call this a two purple and a blue.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:29

Two purple and a blue. Oh god, I only have two green. Um what do we have for Destiny?

SPEAKER_01 1:43:35

You have one right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:37

You know what? I'm not gonna flip it. We might need that. I got a blue. Oh, two success, thank god.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:42

I don't know if this is something you knew before this, or if this is something that is being told to you by the Jedi, but now, as you're kind of looking for like, how do we stop this guy? How do we sort of suppress his power? That there is a technique that has been used in the past, you can feel like the same thing Chris felt almost, these flashes of history of of Jedi of the past. You can feel similar flashes of times where basically a Jedi has cocooned a Sith or a Dark Side user inside this almost like a bubble of light. So it's like the dark just can't get to them, and it sort of cuts them off. Like the old man was talking about the spirits in the valley being bubbles, yeah. That the inside is just empty. You could put Jarek inside one of those bubbles where the inside is empty, and he just can't touch the force. You probably couldn't do it outside the valley, but here you could do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:48

Yeah. Oh, what would it be to put this guy in a fucking bubble?

SPEAKER_01 1:44:52

Uh, this would be a use of the mastery version of the power.

SPEAKER_08 1:44:56

Okay. Hey, is he still touching my mind?

SPEAKER_01 1:44:59

He's he's dealing a lot with history and a lot with time right now. He's rewinding things. If he was linked to you at one point, then he was always and will always be linked to you. As long as you're in the valley, time is a little more fluid and uh malleable than it might be.

SPEAKER_08 1:45:20

Would would I be able to use my ebb and flow power? I'm trying- I'm just looking to see what that means here.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:27

You can flow if you want, but if Cal is going to be trying to use the suppress power, it will require a uh discipline roll against Jarek's discipline.

SPEAKER_08 1:45:40

Which is probably yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:42

It's not just you. You can affect other people as well. So you could use the ebb and flow to give to do control skill checks to g to allow basically Kala to bore your force. You could use it to um add additional successes to her role.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:01

Okay. Can you just buff me if I'm trying to suppress this guy?

SPEAKER_08 1:46:04

I w yeah, I I can I can buff you up.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:06

Because like if if Elyria and Starzan like try to distract him, perhaps, would that could that give him like blacks on his discipline if I try to bubble him?

SPEAKER_01 1:46:17

Yeah, if you're being particularly annoying.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:19

Shake your ass at him. Be annoying.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:22

Shake that thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:24

Ugh! Sean Paul, no!

SPEAKER_01 1:46:27

Because there are also his uh two minions. Oh, I could just I'll just snatch the minions. Is that a distraction?

SPEAKER_07 1:46:33

That would be distraction.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:34

That would be a distraction. Right, because he brought that one I shot back to life.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:38

I'll bring out my my uh my sword.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:40

Bring out your guns.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:42

The stars and sword. With the styroid. Can I get them both in one swing? We shall see.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:47

Um they're they're kind of on the each on the other side of the mound, so you probably wouldn't be able to get both of them, but if if a you wanted to take one and a Leary wanted to take one. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:46:56

I'll square up when he does. I'll pull up the lightsaber.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:00

The lightsaber. Are you gonna have a lightsaber duel with the T-Lac?

SPEAKER_06 1:47:04

Mmm. We'll see.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:07

I guess you both have swords.

SPEAKER_08 1:47:09

We have Swords, thank you very much.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:11

So these guys are powerful, uh, and you've got uh Jirgen helping you. So I'm so I'm not gonna make you do initiative against them. I'm gonna just let you guys try and attack, and then we'll see what happens.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:24

So, uh, with Jurgen sort of slowing their reflexes a little bit, Jerg helping you. Illyria, you're going after the Twiilec.

SPEAKER_06 1:47:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:32

So uh he's already got his lightsabers drawn. So that will be against two reds and two blacks. What about for the boobs?

SPEAKER_06 1:47:42

Three success, two threats.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:46

So you can attack him uh starzin. You're attacking uh the Boltrunian Maw. Yes. So that will be uh against two reds and one black. Oh when I get my two booze. One failure, five advantages.

SPEAKER_10 1:48:03

Five advantages is still pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:05

You can rush at this Boltrunian guy, but he's big, he's tough, he's like as strong as you. So you are evenly matched. So it's like you can't damage him, but you can kind of like grapple him, you can sort of keep him contained so he can't attack. Illyria, uh, you manage to get a strike in, but you got three threat. So although you do you do manage to sort of uh get him and engage him and sort of keep him distracted, at a certain point, like, he he just outnumbers you in the number of weapons. So your lightsaber does go flying out of your hand. He does disarm you. Not disarm you, but he does disarm you. However, uh, this does seem to be a distraction enough that Chris and Kala may be able to uh do something to Jarek.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:59

Okay. Cause if uh if Chris is going to be buffing me, should he be rolling his ebb and flow first just to see what he's working with?

SPEAKER_01 1:49:06

Yeah. Okay. Uh it's just a force die, right? It's a force, it's a force roll, and uh, because you're in the valley, you get an additional force die. So that's that.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:16

Does it also count as us just having an extra light and dark?

SPEAKER_01 1:49:20

Um, no. This is the next up in there. Okay. Four lightside. Four lightside, okay. That's good. So that means you can this because Kala will have to roll a discipline versus discipline against Jarek. She can add four successes onto that.

SPEAKER_10 1:49:39

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:40

So, you're gonna be rolling discipline against four red, and you'll have to roll your force.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:48

Okay. Yeah, for destiny.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:50

You didn't use one the last time.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:53

I didn't, because I knew I'd probably need it for something more important.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:56

So you have you have one. Ooh. Your forces effectively one higher.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:02

Should I downgrade one of those reds or try to get a yellow for maybe a triumph? I feel like I should downgrade a red. Because I only have two green to will or discipline. Unless. Ooh.

SPEAKER_08 1:50:14

What is happening? Son of a bitch.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:15

What is it? Well, no, because I I have enough leftover XP that I could do a mid-game level up for my discipline. So I have at least one rank. But I'm like, god damn it, I really want to get dedication next time, but I feel like this is worth it. I'm doing a mid-game level up so I have one rank and discipline. And I'll flip that destiny point to downgrade one of his reds. Okay, so it was four success from Chris, right? Yes. I got four success, one advantage, two light side, two dark side. Thank God, Chris.

SPEAKER_08 1:50:45

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:47

And it's two two points that I have to spend. I can use those two light side. I don't even have to use the dark.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:53

So with Chris funneling uh the power of the force into you, you're basically what they were doing, meditating uh to channel power into Jarek. Chris is doing for you. And you can reach out to Jarek and cocoon him, the black light emanating from the mound where the thought bomb is buried, is uh overcome by the bright golden light of the force as it surrounds his body, and he basically like starts like stumbling and like reaching out, he can't see anymore. And he's tr like he puts his hand on the mound where the thought bomb is, but like he doesn't, it's just a rock to him. He doesn't get any power from it. And he says, What's going on? What's going on? I can't I can't see anything, I can't feel anything. You've is this death? You've killed me! I'm trapped in the eternal chaos!

SPEAKER_00 1:51:49

You've doomed me! You've doomed!

SPEAKER_08 1:51:53

You you've killed You've killed many people yourself. This is how it feels.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:58

Now, do you feel bad? He's so reliant on the force that he thinks that when he can't feel it, he's just straight up dead and in hell.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:09

I mean, kind of. Sorry, Jarek, you brought this on yourself respectfully.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:14

Respectfully. And as he's bathed in this in this golden glow, as he's touching the mound, the mound begins to glow as well, and you can feel like the thickness of the air dissipating as like the dark side within the thought bomb becomes cocooned inside this light as well. And you can feel like a lightness around you, an electricity as like the Jedi spirits, you feel like they're no longer trapped here. Oh, yeah. And that the dark side that was here, that was like this little fist of hate and death and anguish, is just like it's been kark crunched into this little tiny speck that like you can't even feel anymore.

SPEAKER_09 1:53:03

And now all the Jedi who died here can finally be uh at rest. Yay!

SPEAKER_08 1:53:09

Do we see just a bunch of ghosts being like thank you?

SPEAKER_01 1:53:13

They don't say thank you, but for a moment it feels like there's like this sort of the the air is filled with this sort of blue shimmer of silhouettes of ancient warriors that you uh you don't recognize.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:28

We feel the energy of gratitude.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:30

Yeah. And one old man who still touches his dick. God bless you, sir.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:37

I I think we're outspeed, you crazy genius.

SPEAKER_08 1:53:40

Can we can we uh uh arrest uh can we arrest these people and like bring him back to bring him back back to the uh bring him back with us for justice?

SPEAKER_02 1:53:51

Yeah, because what happens to the the sidekicks once Garrick is uh bubbled?

SPEAKER_01 1:53:55

Once once Jarek is bubbled, because they fuddled so much energy into him, Starzan and Illyria, when you're fighting them, it suddenly becomes a lot easier because it's like, oh, they just gave all their force to Jarek and they were being like buoyed by the valley. Once that's gone, they're all just guys now.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:16

Oh lord. Because like, would we uh be able to return Jarek to the Jedi? Would it be safe to transport him?

SPEAKER_01 1:54:24

I mean, none of them have the force anymore.

SPEAKER_08 1:54:26

Yeah, let's just yeah, let's let's just uh uh tie them up like cannibal lector and just bring him back.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:32

Saying they didn't can't like fist fight us?

SPEAKER_02 1:54:37

Elyria, do you want to fist fight these guys to feel strong?

SPEAKER_06 1:54:40

No, I'm just saying, what if they do?

SPEAKER_08 1:54:43

That's why we tie them up like Hannibal Lecter.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:46

Yeah, if you if you feel like you want to tie them up, but they seem like without the force, it's like watching babies try to walk for the first time. Oh except these are like full grown ass men. We're gonna punch these babies and tie them up. Kick the baby! Don't kick the baby.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:03

Don't kick the baby.

SPEAKER_08 1:55:04

Don't kick the baby.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:05

Their lightsaber swings are just like clumsy flailing. Like they can't deal with like the lack of weight in the blade or the too much weight in the blade, depending on how their sabers are built.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:17

But uh, yeah, tie these guys up, bring them back.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:20

You can uh tie them up. There's probably some uh secure ties at the camp or inside the custard gannet. Not a lot of room though, so you might want to take the T6 shuttle back instead.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:34

Oh, that was their uh their sh their ship?

SPEAKER_01 1:55:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:37

Ugh man, we're never gonna find out what's in that safe. Wait, we have lightsabers. If we're leaving this one here anyways, we cut in through the back of the safe?

SPEAKER_01 1:55:46

Yeah, it's like, okay, we're gonna we're gonna take you back to the Jedi and make you uh answer for what you've uh done, but also just one sec.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:56

Listen, there's two triumphs worth of something inside that safe.

SPEAKER_08 1:56:00

It's like you're not going anywhere, are you? Okay, alright, we just gotta do something here real quick.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:05

Yeah, who wants to cut a hole with a lightsaber?

SPEAKER_01 1:56:07

Yeah, this will be uh a coordination roll.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:11

Probably be careful because like if we aren't careful, then we might accidentally detonate the uh the thing on the other side of the safe. I mean, I have four green coordination.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:20

Yeah, that's much better than mine. That's twice as good as mine.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:23

I mean I'll use the the lightsaber that we got from that Jedi that was buried on the back forty. What heavy for coordination.

SPEAKER_01 1:56:30

So many extra lightsabers.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:31

Just the tattoo.

SPEAKER_01 1:56:32

Well, um you've got uh Halland's uh lightsaber, and now uh you've got the lightsaber. Uh Jarek said his name was Ron, was the Jedi, so you've got that one from the dead dead guy. And presumably you've also confiscated Jarek Maw and the Tweelex lightsabers as well. So depending on how honest you want to be.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:55

I mean, I'm I don't need a lightsaber. I got my gun, I like my gun.

SPEAKER_08 1:57:00

We could probab we could probably just take the lightsabers to whoever needs them here.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:05

Yeah. They they should go back to the Jedi.

SPEAKER_08 1:57:08

I'm I'm okay with them just going back to the Jedi here.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:11

Okay, but you can use uh one of their lightsabers to roll a coordination to deftly cut, so this will be a you can't see on the other side. So I'm gonna use the destiny point here. Uh we'll call it a red and a black coordination in case you get a despair.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:28

A red and a black. I would laugh so hard if I got a despair. Three success. No despair. We're fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:33

Yeah, so you can cut into the back of this safe, not damaging what's inside, and you can kind of open, pry open the panel once it cools, and you can take your two triumphs worth of sex asses.

SPEAKER_08 1:57:49

Yes. Absolutely. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:52

How many sex asses is two triumphs worth?

SPEAKER_07 1:57:56

As many as we need. Why are you winking at us like that? All the asses.

SPEAKER_10 1:58:06

I'm imagining like a little safe that would not fit but one sex ass.

SPEAKER_05 1:58:11

Well, there's there's two sex asses. Look in the butthole.

SPEAKER_10 1:58:14

Yeah. I'll use my thumb to pinch open the butthole and I see here.

SPEAKER_01 1:58:22

They hid credits in those sex asses.

SPEAKER_06 1:58:26

Is this your card? No? Check your asshole.

SPEAKER_07 1:58:31

There's golden in there, sex axes.

SPEAKER_01 1:58:33

There's golden in there.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:34

There's golden and there are peaches.

SPEAKER_01 1:58:36

So if you if you if you if you pry open the buttholes of the sex axes, you can find credits amounting to if you had to do a rough count, it would probably be 5,000.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:50

In total or each?

SPEAKER_01 1:58:51

In total.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:52

Uh. Okay, so like, you know, divide a four ways, that's what 1225 each?

SPEAKER_07 1:58:58

Why are you making me do math at a time like this? 525,600 sexes.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:06

1250 each. 1250 for each of us. I knew that was a good idea. I can definitely afford my gun for next time. I think maybe I'll have to check again.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:16

So uh you can pocket your credits, you can leave behind the custard gannet, you can board this T-6 shuttle, taking these Jedi back to Coruscant, where they belong, and keeping the galaxy safe once again, until next time on Star Wars Empire Wreckers. This episode of Empire Wreckers is brought to you by our top patrons, Alpha Bros 522, David B. Eric Charles Perazzo, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Suki Nintendo, Thomas Davidson, and Vaginator.