Empire Wreckers

S13E15 - Bullet

Empire Wreckers Season 13 Episode 15

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0:00 | 2:16:46
SPEAKER_05

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Wreckers, a Star Wars actual play podcast that's warning you before you go in. There's some pretty rowdy people in the theater who's ready to chicken jockey today.

SPEAKER_04

Callisette's ready a chicken jockey. She only learned what it was ten minutes ago, but any excuse to be obnoxious and public, and she's taken it.

SPEAKER_02

Hello, uh uh Chrissant. Uh instead of being a chicken jockey, I am more of a uh tit writer.

SPEAKER_03

Hey.

SPEAKER_01

No one can accuse Starzan of being a chicken. However, he is a jockey on the most dangerous mount called life. Um other than that, yes, he has been kicked out of many public engagements for his rowdy behavior.

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah. Every time Starzan never disappoints.

SPEAKER_02

Every time you wind up uh to do the thing, it makes me fucking giggle every time.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, guys, time to get hype. Starzan's a rabbin.

SPEAKER_00

And Elyria is ready to sit politely with her small popcorn and small spepsy and unpack the deeper means and unpack the deeper meaning and themes of the film she is about to watch.

SPEAKER_04

See, it's always funny too, having Elyria follow up star saying. It's always like just so restrained by comparison.

SPEAKER_00

Except I couldn't keep us drinking face versus Pepsi.

SPEAKER_05

And if you want to be annoying in a movie theater, why don't you pump us up at full brightness and full volume on your phone? Because we're going a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in Star Wars. The future of the galaxy is uncertain. As Jedi generals lead the war effort across the Republic, the Senate Bureau of Investigation dispatches agents to keep a watchful eye on their souls. During an investigation into a conclave of Jedi objectors to the war, SBI agents discovered and apprehended Savage Oppress, a dangerous assassin with an unknown origin. Now, after ongoing a dangerous mission to retrieve an ancient artifact to divine truth from lies, the agents have been summoned back to the SBI central office to learn the results of the interrogation.

SPEAKER_00

And they didn't ask about us killing that guy, right?

SPEAKER_05

Well, you no, you submitted your report corroborated by Professor Renala that he uh died en route to the planet, that he hit an asteroid or something. I believe it's something was the official record.

SPEAKER_04

Uh he hit an asteroid or something.

SPEAKER_00

We didn't see it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. How would we know or something?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Bad astronaut droids. Didn't uh plot a course correctly. Can't trust him. Time to take him out of business. And then after you delivered the Crown of Verity to the SBI. It was quiet for a while. Quiet for 1500 credits. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

That's like what, a month and a half?

SPEAKER_05

That's like three months. Oh, three months. Oh.

SPEAKER_00

But I'm aging so quickly.

SPEAKER_04

Oh god. How old are we? How much time has passed?

SPEAKER_05

I'm like, this is episode 15. You're getting uh closer and closer to uh a certain uh date. Dead grave.

SPEAKER_00

What day is it? Is it death day?

SPEAKER_05

In terms of like real world dates, right now it's uh like October of 20 BBY. October doesn't exist, but it's the equivalent of October of 20 BBY.

SPEAKER_01

In October of BBY, he asked me what day it was.

SPEAKER_03

It's October of BBY.

SPEAKER_05

But no, you are uh summoned back to the SBI headquarters after a few months. And when you arrive, uh you're not taken to Gray's office. Instead, you are led deeper and deeper into the base by your clone trooper escorts. And meeting you outside an elevator, Supervisor Gray is uh there pacing, kind of bouncing on the balls of his heels, waiting for you guys to arrive. He looks uh a little bit nervous but also a little excited. Hello, Gray. Hello, hello. Um so, we had I'm sorry for not uh keeping you guys in the loop, but we had to make sure that everything was verified, that all of our information was correct, but your hard work's paid off.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, it's about time. We have worked hard for way too long. Please tell us what uh what uh what of our hard work has uh paid off so that we can know what we're celebrating tonight.

SPEAKER_05

Well, celebrations may have to wait. Uh, and he ushers you into a turbo lift to take you down into the the basement levels.

SPEAKER_04

Now we can't even celebrate each.

SPEAKER_05

Motherfucker.

SPEAKER_00

We just had a month and a half off.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, maybe we could have two.

SPEAKER_04

And they're making me work again.

SPEAKER_05

Come on, Elyria, you gotta bitch with us. Here's what we've learned. This Savage A press, he doesn't have any connection to Mace Windu that we can ascertain. He told us, thanks to the crown, that he was sent under orders of Count Dooku. That he was Dooku's personal enforcer. So Windu's clean, as far as we know.

SPEAKER_00

The window's clean. Squeegee now.

SPEAKER_05

We did it!

SPEAKER_04

We squeegied windu.

SPEAKER_05

And the turbolift door opens. It's not a very long trip. And the turbolift door opens, and you can see that it opens into like a dark observation room overlooking an interrogation chamber.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05

Is this this uh like white room? There's a chair in the middle of it that you can see Savage in a nondescript sort of like prison jumpsuit is wearing. Yeah. He's just sitting there, he's cuffed, he's manacled to the ground. They're taking every precaution. And you can see Jed standing guard at the door.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, hi Jed.

SPEAKER_05

He he nods to you. Even though it's uh dark, you can see that he's uh taken good care. He still wears the shoulder armor souvenir he got from Anakin Skywalker and has taken good care of it.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Professor Renala is also there, kind of pouring over uh something on a data pad, and looking over her shoulder is Zin Kudri.

SPEAKER_04

Oh which one was Zin Kudri again, sorry? That's her that's her booty call. That's your baby girlfriend, it's complicated status on Facebook.

SPEAKER_05

Zin, right. Yeah, and if you've spoken to her over the past few months, she's mentioned nothing about this. You you've had no reason to suspect that she was doing anything with the SBI.

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah, she's like a Senate aide. She's working undercover? As we can find out.

SPEAKER_02

Uh hello, Zin. How are you? Uh uh see you again.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, it's good to see you as well. Uh sorry I didn't tell you about all this, but it's quite confidential. But uh Grey told me that you would be looped in when the time was right, and I guess the time is right.

SPEAKER_02

Honestly, I could I kind of f uh figured that you would uh that there would be some secrets, but honestly, I have some secrets to And Gray he says, don't worry, not to worry.

SPEAKER_05

She's not a double agent or anything, she's not spying on you guys. Uh we actually found out about her through you. See, Savage here comes from Dathomir, where Zin is from. Uh he's from a tribe that's connected to a coven of witches. And Professor Renales stayed on to help us research these witches, and we brought Zin in as a cultural consultant. There aren't many Dathomiri on Coruscant, so it was uh convenient that she was working at the Senate. So gonna thank you, Chris, for making this friend.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, and she uh she's a very valuable friend.

SPEAKER_04

When when Grace says that, does uh does Zinn look okay with that, or does she look uncomfortable like maybe she was coerced into helping out? She looks okay. Yeah? Okay. That's good.

SPEAKER_02

Or she has a deception so high that you can't fucking tell what she's thinking.

SPEAKER_04

She might, I don't know. There'll be no way of me to know. But anyways, uh yeah, you had some progress then?

SPEAKER_05

We did.

SPEAKER_04

Go on.

SPEAKER_05

Uh go on. Well, the reason we had to uh bring Zin in, not as only as a cultural consultant, was because during our interviews with Savage, we found that even with the crown, he was very resistant to questioning. And Renala was able to uh track down some lore about the Knight Sisters and the Knight Brothers, which we believe Savage is a member of. And it seems that he might be under some sort of I don't want to say magic spell, but there is uh some sort of psychological block that our serums can't penetrate. But when Zin asks him a question, he answers straight away. So, as f from what we can divine, the Night Sisters may have some sort of control over him. That somebody with their blood is able to make him do things. Thanks to Zinn, we were able to learn that this spell that he's under is actually uh Well Savage, it seems I guess was a double agent. I don't know the details. Uh it seems that he doesn't even know the details, but for some reason, you're all aware of Asage Ventress. I'm sure that you've heard of her, one of Count Dooku's assassins. She kind of went off the radar many months ago. We thought maybe she had been killed somewhere, but it seems there was a rift that for whatever reason Dooku cast her out, and Savage was intended to be her replacement. But according to Savage, he was uh directed to get close enough to Dooku to create an opening for an assassination attempt when the time was right.

SPEAKER_04

Oh.

SPEAKER_05

So that Dooku wouldn't have any other bodyguards to protect him other than Savage. And that gives us an opportunity.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

What kind of opportunity? So, uh, with the help of the droid brain that you recovered, we've been monitoring separatist transmissions, and we've been able to discover that Dooku is going to be traveling alone very shortly.

SPEAKER_04

Hearing him refer to the droid brain just puts me on edge because I'm like, it wasn't a brain, it was a droid. But anyways.

SPEAKER_05

Uh where uh where is he going? Well, that I can't tell you just yet. Uh we're going to be sending Zin and Savage to make sure that he doesn't return from where he's going. Savage is going to carry out the assassination that he was originally hired for. He appears to be amenable to this. Zin can make sure he stays on task, but due to the very important nature of this mission, we would really appreciate if they had some extra backup. I understand that this is Dooku's a powerful Jedi Master. If you don't feel you're up to the tasks, there's some other work we can give you. But this is uh a pretty big deal. Could end the war.

SPEAKER_01

We will take that.

SPEAKER_05

Are you sure?

SPEAKER_00

We are capable. We are so capable.

SPEAKER_01

I took down this Savage one time, didn't I?

SPEAKER_03

Well, we'd be taking down Dooku with Savage. I'll keep an eye on him.

SPEAKER_05

Alright, but uh just to make make sure, if you do this. Star Zine will keep an eye on him. Shit. You accept everything that will happen from now on.

SPEAKER_02

Oh fuck. Stop uh uh excuse me, sir. That is uh lot of responsibility you are piling up on us. Uh what other kind of jobs do you have?

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god, Chris.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

It's okay if you don't. I can send Jed as backup, so it would be Z- It would be Jed, Zin, and Savage. That would be uh assassinating Dooku.

SPEAKER_04

You can't send I not not to s besmirch Zin and Jed, but it's like we can't we're not sending Zin and Jed on our own.

SPEAKER_06

No.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, to be fair, Grey, you did make that sound real ominous. I feel more ominous than you necessarily needed to. Um, we're doing it.

SPEAKER_05

I don't want to call this a suicide mission.

SPEAKER_04

Jesus Grey, like you don't have to keep going.

SPEAKER_02

Uh he's put he's put really pushing Zed's point, isn't he? If you don't want to call it a suicide mission, what would you like to call it?

SPEAKER_05

A very important mission that not everybody may return from.

SPEAKER_03

Grey. Vin Grey are killing me here. I hope not.

SPEAKER_05

I hope not.

SPEAKER_04

Well fuck. Well, we really can't send Zinn and Jed on their own if it's gonna be a suicide mission.

SPEAKER_05

Savage is going to be the weapon. Zin is just going to be there to make sure he follows through. Jed will be back up in case anything unforeseen happens.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but he is an actual baby.

SPEAKER_03

He's not an actual baby.

SPEAKER_04

He's because he was matured fast doesn't mean he's a baby. Also, I'm pretty sure he's within hearing distance, Elyria. Don't be rude.

SPEAKER_00

A very mature baby.

SPEAKER_02

Just a baby. This is just a rude.

SPEAKER_04

He's not a baby.

SPEAKER_02

He's just a fucking baby.

SPEAKER_04

Look, he's like a uh he's an adult man. Don't don't be Okay, alright. I'm not making it weird.

SPEAKER_00

You're the one being creepy.

SPEAKER_04

You're making it weird.

SPEAKER_00

You're making it weird. I'm not weird, you're weird. You're the one trying to convince you with anything. 10-year-old is drummed off.

SPEAKER_02

You know what? If this is gonna kill us, that's probably fine. We're in.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, let's just get let's just fucking die. This is anything to escape this conversation, this integation. Yeah, we're ready to die. It's okay.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Yeah. We got nothing else going on. Alright.

SPEAKER_00

We're ready to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good of the galaxy.

SPEAKER_04

We got no family. Yeah. We don't have any we don't got no one who loves us.

SPEAKER_02

We ain't got nobody.

unknown

Nobody.

SPEAKER_00

Nobody.

SPEAKER_02

Nobody.

SPEAKER_05

Nobody. Alright then.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

unknown

Sad.

SPEAKER_05

So I guess it's uh I can tell you exactly what the mission will entail.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, lay it on us.

SPEAKER_05

So we've learned that Dooku uh is going to be traveling to the planet Atomar in wild space. It's beyond both the Republic and the Separatist borders, so we don't know much about it, but our long-range scans have noticed an increase in traffic to the area over the past week or so. We think there may be something significant happening there that's bringing uh a lot of extra people to the planet and Dooku as well. A Republic shuttle wouldn't be known to them, but if Dooku sees it, he would know what it is. He might be tipped off. So if you feel that you would rather take the custard gannet, uh we have that ready to go. But of course the questing quail is at your disposal.

SPEAKER_02

I fe I feel like low profile is a good way to go, especially if we don't want to make this suicide mission an actual suicide mission.

SPEAKER_04

Well, hold up, because you said a bunch of people were coming to the planet. Is it like a bunch of other like fancy fancy people like Dooku? Because like if it is, then maybe it might be more inconspicuous to go in a nice ship. Or if it's just like all sorts come and then, you know, maybe the customet.

SPEAKER_05

Well, we don't know. We don't uh get out to wild space that much. But you were in the exploration core. Have you ever heard of Adamar?

SPEAKER_00

No, it would be. Oh boy, have we.

SPEAKER_05

That'd be outer rim? Yeah, that'd probably be a three purple knowledge outer rim.

SPEAKER_00

One success, one advantage. Oh, Lyria's got it.

SPEAKER_05

Oh yeah, Lyria's got it. So, Illyria, you have heard of Atomar, and you know with that advantage, you know probably what's happening is that Atomar every 28 years has a leap year where an extra week is added to the calendar to readjust the planet's rotation around its star. And they have a planet-wide festival where the primary attraction for people from all over wild space is the Ground and Sky Championship, which is kind of a uh a test of skill and almost like an Olympic style thing, where people from Atomar and people, even like guests from around wild space, all congregate and compete in various challenges and sports.

SPEAKER_04

Challenges and sports, starzen, maybe we can enter you.

SPEAKER_05

And because you got that advantage! You would you would know that one of the more prestigious sports is a fencing competition. Ooh. And you know that Dooku himself is a one of the most renowned swordsmen of the Jedi Order. If he's not there to compete himself, then if he s Savage has been missing for several months, if he is in the market for a new assassin, he may be going to try and recruit one. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04

Well, oh my god, okay, because it's like they're doing the fencing, and like maybe it's like, oh you gotta have safety on, and then Starzan is like, oh yeah, I'll go in with my I'll go in with my star sword and just like, I don't know, like put a rubber safety condom over the blade so we can't kill someone. But then your sword is also a lightsaber, so you're going to do a big swing and it's like, oh, this is where you'd pause, and then you just start up your lightsaber and you cut his head off.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't know it was gonna do that.

SPEAKER_00

That's if he's competing.

SPEAKER_01

If he's competing. If he's competing. If not, maybe I will do well enough to be hired as the assassin.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and then we get close. Well, no, because if we're well, well, I don't know, because if Savage is supposed to be a weapon.

SPEAKER_01

That's a good point.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know. Maybe we'll maybe we have to go and then figure it out once we're there and we have a better understanding of the situation.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Got a lot of ideas, gray ideas just bouncing around. I think I think this isn't gonna be a suicide mission. I think we got it.

SPEAKER_05

Well, I wish you good luck.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, how dare you have l uh lack of faith in us, oh ye of little faith.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, fuck you, Grey.

SPEAKER_02

Fuck you, Grey. You can kiss my grits.

SPEAKER_04

Not actually. Just joking, supervisor.

SPEAKER_01

Not for real real, just for playplay.

SPEAKER_04

Not for real real. We gotta we had a good rapport, right?

SPEAKER_02

We don't want to literally fuck you.

SPEAKER_04

And didn't he proposition you one time, Chris? Yeah, didn't you guys fuck? Yeah, I thought you guys fucked.

SPEAKER_05

Uh, no. Zinn's just giving you like a what kind of look.

SPEAKER_04

No, remember there's that time and he asked you to stay behind after the meeting, and then we were like, what do you guys talk about? And you're like, oh, he was wanting sexual favors. I'll say this quietly so Grey isn't hearing.

SPEAKER_02

So like Grey isn't hearing. It's not a big room.

SPEAKER_03

It's like a thing, Chris.

SPEAKER_02

Uh we'll talk we'll talk to you, uh we'll talk to you later about that. You can speak now. Now is not the good time.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. But anyways, yeah, we got this.

SPEAKER_04

But but what do we say though? Because if it's like a bunch of people all over wild space, it's probably not like just wit rich people, so maybe Costa Gan is a better call. I'm glad everyone agrees. Yeah, let's take the Costaganit.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, no, that's what I'm thinking. Because if the uh uh if our other if our other ship looks too uh if the other ship looks to Republic, we you know we don't want to we don't we we don't want to bump that up here. We're already gonna be pretty suspect.

SPEAKER_05

Grace says alright, we'll uh get the custard gannet where we need it to be. And before you guys go, just if anything happens out there, uh we can't uh we won't come for help. There's nobody you can call. The only people who know about this mission, because it is so important, the only people who know about this mission are the people in this room, my direct supervisors and Chancellor Palpatine.

SPEAKER_00

Fuck me.

SPEAKER_02

Well, he seems trustworthy.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Our boy Chancellor Palpatine.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sure no one will have a heads up that we're going to this planet.

SPEAKER_04

Then I guess it's a good thing that it's not a suicide mission because we got our shit together so much. We got this gray.

SPEAKER_02

As long as there are no rats, then we can uh we can succeed in this mission.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. If we get in trouble, Palpatine will call in reinforcements to help us. No, again, that won't be.

SPEAKER_04

Well, he's just saying he wasn't. Yeah. As long as there's no rats, as long as this room is like Alberta and it's a rat-free zone.

SPEAKER_00

Al, you're French, lift up your hat. Is there a little rat under there?

SPEAKER_02

Maybe puppeteered. Controlling my every move. How did you know?

SPEAKER_04

I don't know, you got real good at cooking suddenly, it was suspect. Anyways, yeah, let's get the custard cana. Let's go.

SPEAKER_05

So you can return to the uh hangar bay, head up a few levels, and as you're getting everything ready. Zin and Savaj are brought to you as well by a platoon of clone troopers surrounding Savaj. We meet again. Savage, he looks at you and he says, Starzan? I hear there's a competition of physical strength and guile on Adumar. That's right. Are you gonna try to compete?

SPEAKER_01

Starzan doesn't try.

SPEAKER_05

Well he only does. One of us will do, the other will see.

SPEAKER_02

I'm sorry, did you say like will like we see, like we will seize that person, or will see what happens to him? Like uh is it we will or we we we we see?

SPEAKER_05

I only hope that we can meet on the battlefield once again. I'm looking forward to testing myself against you once more, Starza. His are his hands free. The uh clone troopers are uh unlocking his shackles and then quickly moving away. I hold a hand out.

SPEAKER_03

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_05

He grabs your hand and you can do the command.

SPEAKER_01

I lifted up before that and and put it through my hair long enough for his hair.

SPEAKER_04

You're so rude! Starzak, we gotta do a mission with this guy! And you're going nuclear!

SPEAKER_01

Everyone's staring at me. I just put my hand back down, like, alright.

SPEAKER_04

Just kidding. Everyone's just like, Starzair, what the fuck are you doing?

SPEAKER_02

And like you you turn you turn away from us, but you give him the finger.

SPEAKER_01

The telltale uh thing comes up in this corner of the screen. Savage will remember that.

SPEAKER_04

We're all gonna remember that.

SPEAKER_05

And he's and he says, You remind me of my little brother.

SPEAKER_02

Awww.

SPEAKER_05

Do you like your little brother? I was forced to kill him to become Ventress's weapon.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_02

So you do like your little brother. You just had to kill him. Oh, that's sad. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04

When you say forced, like, did you want to become Ventress's weapon, or was it like, uh, you know what? I guess uh real love in that trauma probably isn't actually necessary for the biggest.

SPEAKER_05

I mean, he has to listen to My loyalty is to my people. Count Dooku betrayed Ventress, so he betrayed the Knight Sisters and the Knight Brothers.

SPEAKER_02

That's what I said to my family say to my family uh before we go to bed that very night. Good night, Ventures. Good night sisters.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know your family. None of us do.

SPEAKER_00

Are Knight Sisters kind of like the Drow Elves of the Star Wars universe?

SPEAKER_04

I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_00

Like matriarchal. The women have the power.

SPEAKER_05

They literally have like villages of these dudes to breed with. He's uh No Kaliset doesn't know what that means.

SPEAKER_04

I know what that means.

SPEAKER_01

Overtaken by his words to what that means. About killing his brother, Starzan goes, hmm, important story to share. And then Starzan looks around at the group and says, It's about family. That's why it's so powerful.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Yeah. Do you have something you need to say?

SPEAKER_01

Me?

SPEAKER_00

So did you also have a brother or are you just like sharing?

SPEAKER_01

Starzan has a sister who uh rules in his stead.

SPEAKER_00

It's a whole also a matriarchical planet.

SPEAKER_01

Not n not until now. Uh Starzana is the first of her line to be uh female. It's uh uh complicated situation we've discovered ourselves on because Starzan has left Agar Icewin, the first of the Starzans to leave the planet to do other things.

SPEAKER_04

And uh so is your sister just called Starzan too?

SPEAKER_01

Starzana.

SPEAKER_04

Starzana, okay, that makes more sense for differentiating, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So you are not just true Starzan. Starzan is the true Starzan. There is no other Starzan. Starzana is different.

SPEAKER_00

I believe it's a title.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Do you have like a different name or something? I mean we're about to go on a suicide mission. I feel like I should know. Your real name.

SPEAKER_04

We've only lived together for many years.

SPEAKER_01

Starzan is like Dread Pirate Robert. Starzan continues to have the same name over and over. So you think it's the same person.

SPEAKER_05

And Savai kind of steps in and he says, when Starzan became Starzan, who he was before died.

SPEAKER_00

Like Gerald, Bruce.

SPEAKER_05

Steven. Trying to dead name Starzan through the process of his nomination.

SPEAKER_00

No!

SPEAKER_01

He's just Starzan until Starzan dies, and then he becomes full Starzan.

SPEAKER_04

Could I roll perception on Savage a Press? That feels like such a He he just feels real defensive of Starzan already. And is like, is it just because of mutual respect or is there is there something on are they gonna make out?

SPEAKER_00

He's trying to figure me out.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so this will be a perception against his cool, probably. So that'll probably that'll be a two-purple.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, that's not bad.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Three success, one threat.

SPEAKER_05

So you get the sense that like you don't know the nature of it, but you do get the sense that he he does have uh some sort of like not necessarily affection, but respect. Like there you don't know if it's like maybe he's he's into Starzan. Um no. You want Starzan's seed? Yeah, you don't you don't know what like what the nature of it is. It might be probably isn't. It doesn't seem like this is a guy who fucks. Uh this this could be its own book.

SPEAKER_04

Although, to be fair, if he is trying to get you seed, like isn't that kind of the safest place to um share it? There can't be an illegitimate star sand produced from that. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_01

He'd spit it into a clothing machine. Look, I'm just I'm just gonna say that like.

SPEAKER_05

Because you because you got threatened, I can I can neither confirm nor deny, but I will say that the Knight brothers do live in villages of all men. Uh-huh. But no, he there is like there is like sort of the warrior's respect. He said he reminds you of like he had a younger brother that he had to kill. Um it it seems like he's he's starting to see you as a peer, as some like when he fought you, your strength made him respect you. Savage, although he's huge, and although he's got giant horns, and although uh he's got big Clancy Brown energy, he might be a little bit of a sub. Oh no.

SPEAKER_04

And the rest of us, we're all just fucking failures every day.

SPEAKER_01

When he was like, you remind me of my little brother, I was like, small and killable. But no, he meant that as a compliment.

SPEAKER_04

So Yeah, it wasn't like, you remind me of my little brother. I killed him, you know.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, like there is a little bit of uh performative, like he was he was kind of like maybe masking his he he's it doesn't strike you as a great liar, so he was maybe like speaking the truth in a way that would make him seem more impressive. Speak the true truth.

SPEAKER_04

And the true true is Savage love little brother. Savage love little brother, and Savage maybe wanna fuck Starzan. Or get fucked by Starzan. I'm just saying Savage. I'm just saying Starzan.

SPEAKER_02

It could it could help if we uh uh Savage love.

SPEAKER_04

I know that you are all about that seam and retention, but like maybe you gotta unpent up every now and then.

SPEAKER_00

You gotta save it to make the next Starzan.

unknown

Whoops.

SPEAKER_04

I'm sure you can make it.

SPEAKER_01

If there is a star another Starzan, that Starzan will have to challenge Starzana for the throne, and then there'll be like a civil war.

SPEAKER_04

And that's why if you need to relax and you want somewhere safe to offload some of that pent up seed, some of that retained semen. Look, Starzan, this feels like a- Why are you being my hitch? Oh look, Kallaset's not getting late. I gotta at least encourage someone else to. Have you seen that big strapping Clancy Brown but uh portrayed guy? Come on!

SPEAKER_01

Not for lack of trying on my part. He wants some quickening. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_04

I'm glad I perceived that. Anyways, shall we continue to the planet? Do we want to check for listening devices as we often do, just out of principle? Just because we don't like being fucking spied on. Do you say two purple? Three. Three, okay. He didn't tear him in half. That was his older brother, who is also a sub.

SPEAKER_05

Oh right. No, his older brother's the Dom.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know why I tried one threat.

SPEAKER_04

I got five failure, one advantage. Man, I got three yellow to perception too.

SPEAKER_00

God, your perception's so good to look for drugs.

SPEAKER_02

Can I can I can uh uh Sarah roll a uh blue just uh office?

SPEAKER_05

Um if you want to use that advantage to give Chris a blue, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I'll use the advantage to give Chris a blue. I don't think one blue is gonna offset five failures.

SPEAKER_05

That's fair. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Two success, one threat.

SPEAKER_05

Two success, two threat. So, um Chris and Starzan, like as you're looking around, trying to like tearing up the carpet, trying to find things, uh, you don't find any, and like as you're as you're very obviously trying to search the ship for listening devices, Gray like comes aboard and sees you guys, like mid sort of check, and he's like, oh I sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting anything. I just wanted to uh well I just wanted to say uh I don't want to say goodbye, but I want to say good luck.

SPEAKER_02

Stop doing that! Get out of here!

SPEAKER_04

Are you guys just like frozen, motionless with like fists full of carpet in your hands? The shag carpeting.

SPEAKER_02

If you're gonna keep saying that kind of stuff, then fucking leave.

SPEAKER_05

Alright, alright. I'll I'll see you guys when you get back. How about that?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. See, I feel like if you just keep being negative and a jinx.

SPEAKER_02

That is such an asshole thing to do. Just leave!

SPEAKER_04

Great, we're gonna we'll talk about this when we're back about your your uh you know information delivery.

SPEAKER_05

Very well, very well.

SPEAKER_04

Hey bye.

SPEAKER_05

And uh, Chris, as you're searching for recording devices in, said, Chris, since when have you been worried about being caught in 4K?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah, you know oh, you know me. I have to be sure that I can become the leader of the free un uh of the free universe at some point in time, so I gotta be sure that my reputation is crystal clean. Then I'll make sure to wipe my hard drives. No, no, no, don't don't don't don't wipe your hard drives. You may need those later. That's not what I meant. I need to be clean.

SPEAKER_05

You can do whatever you want. And Zin, she's got like a travel bag, and she says, Savage, can you put this away for me? And Savage says, Yes, sister, of course. And he like takes takes her little bag in both hands and he packs it away neatly in one of the lockers.

SPEAKER_00

You seem to be enjoying this.

SPEAKER_05

Well, uh, you know, I'm a senate. Usually it's me who has to go this, go there.

SPEAKER_04

What you're saying is you'll you like to have a sub every now and then.

SPEAKER_05

It's nice to have somebody who listens to you.

SPEAKER_00

Isn't that the truth? I say as I have just upgraded my leadership from one green to one yellow.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. You know, I can listen to you. And then maybe yellow baby.

SPEAKER_05

So once you're all settled in, uh this planet is in wild space. So why don't you roll me an astrogation?

SPEAKER_01

You got this.

SPEAKER_05

So wild space, this will be a three purple astrogation.

SPEAKER_00

God, why haven't I ranked up my astrogation? Fuck.

SPEAKER_04

Uh, because it's not a career skill! You're the astrogator at this point, it's not a career skill! Sorry, you're the astrogator, though.

SPEAKER_02

In fairness, we've been relying on you on astrogation.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, you want me to get my force rating up longer? Wait, let's see. Let's do this.

SPEAKER_04

I'm just saying, Elyria, we're at the point where it's like, this is gonna be an astrogation roll, and we all know to just wait for you to roll it.

SPEAKER_00

Alright, let me do this. One, two, three. I have one yellow now.

SPEAKER_05

Alright, you got my advantage, why don't you roll with that? Your your new uh ranks. You did some last minute brushing up.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Like a two blue or just a blue?

SPEAKER_04

You felt the judgmental looks on you, and you're like, I've been studying. You can you can add a blue onto that.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Five success three threads. There we go.

SPEAKER_05

Yay! So you can you can try it. You can put try to find Atomar. Everybody's watching you. This is the most important mission you've ever gone on. If you succeed on it, Dooku will die. The war may the war might end here. Uh but you flub the first one. But sweating. Yeah, sweating. Your back is just damp. Your back is three uh strain worth of damp.

SPEAKER_00

I I really I really don't want to lose my fucking powers of astrogation or I'm trying real hard. It just came naturally before, and now I gotta try.

SPEAKER_04

Ah, the gifted kid experience.

SPEAKER_00

Oh no.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, you coasted through high school, but now you get to post-secondary. You have to study.

SPEAKER_00

We only had a month and a half off. That's not enough to recover from burnout. Three months. Okay.

SPEAKER_05

But on your second try, you can navigate to Adamar in wild space with the custard Gannett from Querscent. It is a fairly long jaunt. Long enough that it may become awkward if people start tr trying to sneak away and do things quietly.

SPEAKER_00

Like. Okay.

SPEAKER_05

You know how in Bioware games where it's like, well, we're going to a planet that's gonna be a point of no return for the rest of the game, time to have sex.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, so this is the time to have sex if we want to have sex?

SPEAKER_05

It might be.

SPEAKER_04

Where's Jed?

SPEAKER_06

Time to have sex.

SPEAKER_05

Jed got left behind. Jed Jed is a clone trooper and would stick out like a sore thumb.

SPEAKER_04

I thought that it I thought that if we didn't go, it was gonna be uh Zin.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, if you didn't go.

SPEAKER_04

What?

SPEAKER_00

No! Damn it! Sucker. Fuck! I knew you were trying to make make excuses about how old he was. No! Why didn't you just try and fuck him?

SPEAKER_04

I would have if he were here! I was shy! I'm sorry, O'Leary!

SPEAKER_00

I don't think he would have done it because he respects the Jedi code.

SPEAKER_05

It's like a day and a half into the trip, you're like, wait, where's Jed?

SPEAKER_04

How dare you! I can only respond so fast as a player. I thought that Jed was gonna be along for the mission! I don't wanna fuck the rest of y'all! I don't wanna fuck anyone else here! Savage is gonna be is wants to sub for Starzan. Like that's out of the picture. Zen and Chris are fucking that's fine. Elyria, absolutely the third knot. No, I don't wanna be a third with Chris. No offense, Chris.

SPEAKER_02

Are you sure? I want to look if you don't want me to.

SPEAKER_00

You can come meditate with me. Come on, let's go meditate.

SPEAKER_02

I won't look at the time. We could I'll probably look later on the tapes.

SPEAKER_04

Chris, we gotta work together. Like, or just make things.

SPEAKER_05

Look, you don't have Jed. Illyria doesn't have Tom Foolery.

SPEAKER_04

That's the guy's name! Fuck!

SPEAKER_00

Nothing happened. You know this.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, well, you know where else nothing happen. Fuck, I just I thought Jed was gonna be a good one. Hey, Carol!

SPEAKER_05

Did you bring any drugs along? Oh no.

SPEAKER_04

Do I have any? I think I do.

SPEAKER_05

Can I destiny point? Yeah, do you Do you want to use a destiny point to roll to have some drugs and do some drugs during the trip? Or do you want to roll your resilience or discipline to see how?

SPEAKER_04

I did get some impact, so I do have them. However, I am aware that I will be fuckled for the rest of the trip if I take it before this important mission. So I'll maybe I'll roll discipline. I'll try to meditate with Illyria, even though I'm kind of pissed off about it.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, give me uh you're with Illyria. Uh you're kinda pissed off. I'll give you a destiny point then, so we'll call it a red and two purple discipline.

SPEAKER_04

A red and two purple discipline. God, this is the stupidest fucking shit. I'm so mad. Two success and one threat. I'm-I resist, but I'm still mad.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, you take some s you're some strain. You you won't be uh Jonesing, but. You won't be doing any druids.

SPEAKER_04

This is giving my high school grad where I didn't get invited to any of the cool kid parties, so I went to my theater kid Christian friends to Denny's at midnight.

SPEAKER_00

It's giving Smitty's at midnight. Yes! With my theater friends!

SPEAKER_04

With our theater friends, and all my theater friends were very religious and did not drink.

SPEAKER_00

My one friend, his dad's a deacon.

unknown

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04

Did we have the same teenage experience? Except I don't think I got bullied as much because people thought I was scary.

SPEAKER_00

Look, I stopped getting bullied for the most part in grade 11.

SPEAKER_04

Illyrian. Elyrian Kala just bonding suddenly.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so as the Jedi equivalent of the uncool theater kids, uh, you can meditate or try to sneak away or uh just be muscular together uh in the same room. Whatever whatever it is you get up to, uh it takes a couple of days to get from Coruscant to Atumar. But when you do arrive, find the place is buzzing with activity. Lots of strange, unrecognizable ships in orbit from cultures and worlds you've never seen can bring your ship down towards the capital city where all of the events are being held. Parking's tough. A lot of people, uh Kartan for the Ground and Sky Championship. So uh do you want to just pay for a good parking spot, or do you want to try and find one for cheap?

SPEAKER_04

I mean, we got a lot of money.

SPEAKER_05

How let's pay let's pay how much would it be for a good parking spot? Um how good? Real good.

SPEAKER_00

Well, like, are we taking the shitty ship? Should we park in the shitty area? Or would it draw attention to us?

SPEAKER_04

Like man, let's maybe get like, you know, we don't want to have to walk all day to get there, but like the bet like the best parking that's not gonna be noticeably good.

SPEAKER_00

We buy bad parking and we miss everything by the time we get there.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

So you can find not in the overflow, but in the actual uh within the city limits at the spaceport, you can find a parking spot for a princely sum, 5,000 credits.

SPEAKER_04

Jesus, that is a lot. Who wants to be daddy? I'll be daddy.

SPEAKER_05

Alright, so uh partially because of the exchange rate, partially because of price gouging, you can find a decent parking spot at the spaceport, close enough to where everything's happening, but not so close that you draw attention, not so far that it's gonna prevent you from uh getting where you need to go. And you can exit the spaceport from your docking bay out into the streets of Atumar. Savage is wearing a cloak, disguising his identity. He doesn't want uh anybody to notice him if Dooku came alone. It's unlikely that Dooku's down here with the rabble, but you never know.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I don't think anyone would recognize us, so we're probably fine.

SPEAKER_05

And you can see the streets are packed. Uh Adumar is a human planet. Uh, some ancient forgotten colony that developed its own sort of uh ways, but there are also tons of visitors, so those of you who aren't human, you don't really stand out. You can see that there's uh Kalish, Lasat, Yamri, uh Starzen, you recognize a couple of Kalians. Uh Kalians are a human people. They're from the planet Shiva 4. They've got like this this sort of tanned, almost like reddish skin. And what you know about the Kalians is that they like you can spot them pretty easily because of their sort of reddish skin, but also their style of dress. The Kalians are, I guess, cousins to the denizens of Eggarice. Like, like you're part of. Sort of the same cluster. Yeah. They're all dressed very sort of scantily. They're all incredibly muscular. And Starzan, you would know that Shiva 4 is a planet with like really dense atmosphere. The red sun that tans them is like very weak light. The gravity is very intense. So Kalians, when they leave their homeworld, are known to have almost superhuman physical abilities. Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_00

Interesting.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, they're from they're from they're from one of the old Marvel comics.

SPEAKER_00

From the Cal Cal Aliens. Kalellians, no! Kal Aliens, no! That's a Palestinian child.

SPEAKER_05

Uh so there's those guys. Uh you can see there's uh some Shawnee. They are a sort of uh reptilian race. They don't look too different from Falline, but instead of hair, they've got these like big plumes of feathers on their heads, these rainbow feathers.

SPEAKER_03

Fancy.

SPEAKER_05

Uh you can see some like giant Kakron rock lords trundling about, some Orgon tenta clams, uh alongside a bunch of other like really just totally alien-looking weird guys.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, do we do we want to kind of get a lay of things, see if maybe we can figure out where Dooku is?

SPEAKER_00

You already failed to get a lay of things.

SPEAKER_04

Oh you know, I'm just trying to be uh productive and you have to just attach for no reason.

SPEAKER_01

Not reproductive.

SPEAKER_04

Uh I meditated with you, Elyria. Who the fuck else was gonna you know what? I'm not just rude.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sorry, it's just I I love wordplay, it just came out.

SPEAKER_04

Top five anime betrayals Okay, that was good. Fuck Okay, Elyria, what's the plan then? I thought you just got a rank in leadership. Lead us.

SPEAKER_00

We'll walk to the stadium grounds.

SPEAKER_05

You lead the way.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

There's many competitions. It seems that like as you're walking through the city, the two uh biggest ones, like the marquee events, are the fencing competition and the starfighter dog fighting competition.

SPEAKER_02

Is there a uh I don't approve of dog fighting? Is there a drinking competition somewhere?

SPEAKER_05

Uh uh at the local bars there may be. There may be people who are playing drinking games watching the uh the various events. There are preliminary qualifier rounds happening right now, and you can see there are gambling parlors that have like odds for the various competitors and the various uh the various competitions.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, do we want to check the competitors?

SPEAKER_02

I I I feel as though I found my calling d sports bedding? No, being a drinking contest.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, drinking contest! That makes more sense. You balance the shot glass on my nose, then flick my head up like a dolphin.

SPEAKER_02

Who's the classiest drunk? I mean, everybody knows the obvious answer is me, of course.

SPEAKER_04

Well, you do get pretty messy sometimes, Chris.

SPEAKER_01

One drinks like makes uh plants like croissants.

SPEAKER_04

Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like croissant.

SPEAKER_02

To be frank, sometimes I can be intimidating my own. Oh what a guy that croissant!

SPEAKER_00

Fuck, I wrote his name down as Al in my thing. As like Al's girlfriend. I get it. I get it. Me when the note taker sucks.

SPEAKER_01

Food pun.

SPEAKER_04

Because like, if they have sports betting happening here and it's like, what are the odds on everyone? Like, we could kind of take a look and see who's already entered, and like Dooku's probably not competing, but if he is, that would be hilarious if it just said Count Dooku in a silent seat.

SPEAKER_00

But what if he does what if he does like a space uh Robin Hood thing where he signs up under an alias?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, horrible. Well we look for obvious aliases. Let's check the odds. Let's check the sports betting.

SPEAKER_00

Obvious aliases? Everyone has stupid alien names.

SPEAKER_01

Let's see some anagrams for Count Dooku.

SPEAKER_04

You know, some of us actually know the naming conventions of other races, Illyria, and they are racist.

SPEAKER_00

I do too. I have I know Zenology.

SPEAKER_01

I know Zenology. It says right here on the sign-up sheet, Dracula.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, hilarious.

SPEAKER_05

You go to the sign-up sheet and it's like all the all the competitors are like, Dracula, Saruman, Francisco Scaramonga.

SPEAKER_04

Wow, that's a lot of people participating.

SPEAKER_05

Can we take a look? Yeah, if you go to the the uh gambling parlor, you can see that for the various events, uh for the Starfighter Challenge and the Blast Sword Dueling uh events, the like the top ten are primarily people who are from Atomar. And the people who are from Atomar, they are they are in both categories usually. Um the top can like the top sort of contender, the one that everyone's expecting to win this year, is a woman by the name of Cheris K. Hanadi. Uh she's somebody like you can s they've got a picture of her, and you can see her face kind of like around here and there. She seems to be a very popular Adumari athlete. But for the dueling in particular, there are in the top ten four contenders who aren't from Adumar. Does it say where they're from? Uh so they are Yatagan, a Kalish duelist who has entered, who is uh seemingly a favorite from some of the from the other species. There's White Atar, a Lasat, uh a large Lasat fellow, Khan Jarter of Shiva 4, one of the Kalians. And Xiphos Ren, a masked warrior who uh you can see like some of the unsavory types in some of the nearby cantinas maybe placing bets on Ren. In your travels, you may have heard the Knights of Ren are some kind of pirate gang that uses the force.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Well, if he's got the force. If anything, if he's not Dooku, I feel like we should tail this guy.

SPEAKER_02

Am I able to use my ward's uh foresight uh for is there any kind of moves that I can do to kind of like help me out on this? Uh ward's foresight.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, this would probably be very useful for gambling as well.

SPEAKER_02

Oh yeah. Okay. Is that just a one uh one at a time? No, it looks like I can use it whenever. I can't I can't use it right now because like I would assume that the person would need to be around me, right? At the basic level, the power.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, within short range.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Um, let's see.

SPEAKER_04

I just realized I'm so fucking dumb. I it's like, where's Dooku? I have seek. I could roll seek and see if I could just Yeah, can I just roll Seek to find Dooku?

SPEAKER_05

Uh yeah, roll me your seek power.

SPEAKER_04

So fucking stupid sometimes, man. Ziffin stupid. So fucking stupid. I got one light side, two dark side. Uh, do I want to use the dark side? I was meditating with Elyrian, kind of pissed off about it, but I was meditating on the way to the room.

SPEAKER_00

Would Dark be able to find Dark find dark? Yes, I think.

SPEAKER_04

Why would Dark be able to find Dark? Yeah. She's the force, baby. I guess Kala was kind of getting radicalized last time as well about uh light and dark side, and is there any difference between them? I'll use the dark side.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, so you can use those uh dark sides you can sort of reach into to try and find maybe Nobody's sure what the deal is with Dooku. Is he, you know, fall into the dark side? Some Jedi say he has. Some Jedi believe he's just uh a political idealist and that he's still aligned with the light. Some of the Jedi you've encountered even think he's he's just a cool dude, and maybe we should all listen to him. But you can sort of reach into your own negative emotions and sort of use those, your hunter's instincts, uh, to try and locate your prey. And you can get a general sense of where Dooku is. And if you sort of walk out of the batting parlor and just sort of wander through the streets until you can see it, you get the sense that like you you see this large building in the distance. It's kind of up on a hill, seems to be surrounded. It might be whatever this planet's leader is, in a state, a government, residence. You get the sense that Dooku is there. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

So we know where he is. Which the way I see it, it feels like we kind of have two options. We could either um enter one of us named Starzan into the sword fighting competition. And obviously, Starz uh. Oh yeah, and you, and you. Um, whichever one of you wins. I guess we could just enter your Savage.

SPEAKER_05

No, I think we would have a uh better chance of success if Starzan also gripped the blade.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Okay. Enter both of you then. Frasen, but um. I mean, if it came down to both of you though, well I guess it's not like to the death for the fights though, correct?

SPEAKER_05

Uh you can see that it is to the death. On like there is information in the betting parlor that like they have some footage. The footage that's playing, so they're the weapons they're using are called blast swords. They are like fencing swords, but the tip, instead of like a just a blunted end, they are a blaster. So when you make contact, it that is the trigger, and the guy who gets touched gets shot in the chest.

SPEAKER_06

Oh no, good boys.

SPEAKER_02

That seems excessive.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, I don't know if we should be doing the one where if you both like one of you would eventually have to kill the other if you weren't killed by your opponents first. Um, I I guess unless it came down to the two of you and then just like one of you is like, I'm out, he can win.

SPEAKER_05

I think I can survive getting shot in the chest.

SPEAKER_02

I like that confidence. How much money are you willing to put on No, no, not there, not though.

SPEAKER_04

I you know what? If you are that confident that Starzan could, you know, beat your ass, confident or willin, then like, sure, enter both of you.

SPEAKER_05

Don't worry, Starzan can blast me all over my chest and I'll be just fine.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, it's just have we completely stopped freezing?

SPEAKER_02

That's what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_04

Starzan, I just really hope that you took advantage of that time on the ship, because if you don't didn't, and if I was there meditating with Illyria because I didn't have a choice.

SPEAKER_00

We were you could have went and done whatever you wanted.

SPEAKER_02

I was about to say, you could have probably uh uh ripped one out into a bedroom.

SPEAKER_04

I didn't want to be alone.

SPEAKER_05

Aww. The Custer Gannett is a silhouette 3 ship. It is there are bunks, no individual rooms, maybe a bathroom.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, Chris was in the one there. What do you mean, maybe a bathroom? It took days to get here.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. You just hang your ass out the airlock. Does the ship have an escape pod?

SPEAKER_04

Um Maybe we could go fuck in the prison?

SPEAKER_00

You mean a holding cell?

SPEAKER_05

The cockpit in in in a pinch, the cockpit section can like eject, so you can seal off the cockpit.

SPEAKER_04

I'm not gonna go rub one off in the escape pod, Chris. I'm not a monster.

SPEAKER_00

Starzan seals off his cockpit. Oh god, we are.

SPEAKER_01

What happened on that ship is completely up to AO3 to decide.

SPEAKER_04

What were we talking about? Yeah, we're gonna enter both of you.

SPEAKER_01

Praising.

SPEAKER_04

Fan fiction. And then, like, you know, whichever one of you uh comes out on top.

SPEAKER_01

Praising.

SPEAKER_04

Nah, I know what I said. And is contacted by Dooku, then you know, you get in, and then like maybe that then the rest of us, maybe we sneak in to give you backup while you until you're legitimate sit like uh legit legitimately, and then it's like you'll be talking to uh Dooku in the front and then we sneak up and get him from the behind.

SPEAKER_02

Could I use Ward's foresight to be like the coach in the corner kind of thing? To be like, will this work?

SPEAKER_01

The coach in the corner? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Let's go! So what what upgrades do you have to the uh your your foresight power?

SPEAKER_02

Um I'm I'm just trying to figure out an excuse to use it. Uh I have range, control uh I have one range, control success, I have one strength, I have one duration, I have another range, so I can go two ranges. I have let's see. So here's the right.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so you can uh hints about what another individual within if you get the right role, you can uh increase that up to long range.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. That that way I can help out our uh bare knuckle brawlers and be sure that they make the right choices here, basically. That's right.

SPEAKER_04

Unless you want to uh get a read on Savage and be like, will he survive being shot in the chest? Will he get shot in the chest?

SPEAKER_02

Can I since I seem to be able to use this, it feels it looks like something I can just use. Can I test it out by seeing if he can actually get by using my power to find out if he can get shot in the chest?

SPEAKER_05

It's a little bit um uh well you can you can roll, but it's uh maybe a little bit Bill and Ted. Like uh trash can, remember the trash can? Yeah, because it's uh you can spend points to gain hints about what another individual within short range is likely to do in the near future. So you can roll it. Okay. Uh yeah, okay. Hey, one light side. Okay. So who are you? Are you testing it on Starzan or Savage? Uh, for now I'll test it on Sh Savage. You can sort of reach into Savage and you're trying to read his future. Find out something, what he's likely to do in the near future. And would that be getting shot in the chest? So you can sort of you're searching for that. Would he survive getting shot in the chest? You're trying to find a path to where that happens. And you do see a glimpse of a situation where there is a blast, you feel like heat in your chest from Savage's perspective, but it doesn't feel lethal. Oh, wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Are we sure that's the kind of blast it was?

SPEAKER_05

With Starzan there. Yeah, it is, it's just a a a a a hot blast on your chest.

SPEAKER_04

Is there mood lighting in this vision?

SPEAKER_05

I mean, there's not much other than that sensation. It's it's by it's the by it's uh the feeling of bisexual lighting. It's it's a it's a it's a one force point basic foresight power, so there's not a ton of detail in there.

SPEAKER_02

It's a lot of baby oil. Okay. So yeah, I wanna I wanna see if how much I can use this to kind of like help out our fighters just to be sure that they don't die.

SPEAKER_04

Thank you. Yeah. Because I guess like once if we're if we're entering both of them, if we're like getting to like, you know, maybe there's like the fighter's pit or something, if you are able to use like ward's foresight to be like what like maybe get insight in like the fighting style of the other combatants, or like is there like a particular move they like to do to like juke o juke on their opponents?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, like um, or even like from what I understand from the last thing that we got, just kind of like find out ways that he that he loses that I can get him to avoid so that he can then win the fight, basically.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So let's sign him up.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, let's f let's let's fuck him up. So you can sign up Savage and Starzan. Savage is gonna be using an alias for this. Gonna have to find him some sort of uh disguise that he can wear. Because he obviously he doesn't want to enter as himself. How about as Savage? Savage.

SPEAKER_04

Not Savage, I'm Savage.

SPEAKER_02

More like Savage Or just Savage. More like Savage.

SPEAKER_05

He's entering as Randy. Randy. We tried. Randy the Savage.

SPEAKER_04

Fuck! God damn it.

SPEAKER_05

Son of a bitch.

SPEAKER_04

Aw man, hang on.

SPEAKER_05

Where he's Randy Savage.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Fucking that's incredible, actually.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, he's just his his disguise is just a bandana and giant sunglasses. Perfect.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Randy Savage and stars are.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, Randy, Randy Savage from the Slim Gym system.

SPEAKER_01

It's just a very slim system. There's only a couple planets. They're all uh lengthwise.

SPEAKER_04

All made of pepperoni sticks.

SPEAKER_02

Fake meat, fake meat. Very bad pepperoni sticks. Slim gym is meat. It's shocking how long Slim Gyms have been around for how disgusting every single one is. I love beef jerky.

SPEAKER_05

To see how far you guys get in the preliminaries. I'm gonna have you and Savage each just do a series of rolls here. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

I'm just checking to see if I should start doing my uh force power now here. How long it lasts for? Um because if it's if you have it committed then. Enhance?

SPEAKER_04

Ah yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I might as well start it now.

SPEAKER_04

Might as well commit that shit.

SPEAKER_01

Might as well go for soda. Do I want to do one for my strength and my agility or just strength? Because then I would have one more force point left over that I can use for other things. Well, these are gonna be melee rolls that you're gonna be making. Yeah, might as well just use strength. Can I substitute it for lightsaber? But no. Oh no, these are these are these are sword swords. They're just sword swords.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, you have to kinda have to use the ones they give you.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so I'll use, yeah, control uh brawn. Ongoing effect, I'm gonna commit a force die and increase my uh brawn characteristic to six. Harhar.

SPEAKER_05

You can make your way after you've signed up, you can make your way to the preliminary matches at the arena. Not a huge audience, you know. This is a very popular event, but the people that you're facing off against are either amateurs from the local dueling scene who have like decided to try it, try their hand at this, um, people who it seems like just want to, you know, die suicide by blast sword. Oh some people who may have a death wish. There's like different visitors from off-world, uh, other non-humans, people who are just like, yeah, I could probably do this. So the preliminary sort of qualifying rounds for both you and Savage is going to be an opposed melee role. So, uh, first, it's just gonna be three purple. Now, uh, do you want Chris to help you cheat?

SPEAKER_04

Not yet. Ooh. You save it. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Sooner he starts doing it, the faster he's gonna get caught.

SPEAKER_04

That's true, actually.

SPEAKER_02

I'm going I'm gonna I'm gonna do it anyway, just so I can get a read on just so I can like practice my ability if I if I could.

SPEAKER_05

Because do you have the uh strength upgrade that allows you to add a blue onto uh Yes. Yeah. I in fact have two. What is this cheating? It would be uh during your preliminary matches, during your matches, if Chris rules his foresight power, he would be able to give you tips about how your opponent might fight. And that would give you a blue on your role. I have two strengths. I don't think it's there's any rules against doing this. Uh it would be no different than if you had studied your opponent beforehand.

SPEAKER_02

Again, I was thinking a coach-like role.

SPEAKER_05

Like uh fucking it's it's against the spirit of the competition, but not the letter. Yeah. And at the high level, you're fighting like one of them's a knight of wren. It seems like the uh Lasat that that's uh favored is a devout practitioner of the Ashla religion. He may be forcy as well. Uh and you get the sense that like watching high-level play, a lot of the guys who are doing this that have survived long enough to be high-level duelists do have suspiciously fast reflexes.

SPEAKER_01

Well, in that case, does anyone else have uh some good force powers they can give me?

SPEAKER_04

I don't know if I have anything that would really help you.

SPEAKER_00

How many magnitudes of hurt do I have? Well, I don't want to people. I could heal you well, you're not really getting hurt if you're not getting shot in the chest.

SPEAKER_04

I do have suppress. If other people are using their force powers to get a beat on their opponents, I could suppress them. Uh yeah, let's do that. I can commit that.

SPEAKER_02

Uh like like, yeah, let's be a fucking team.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I only have one range of heal harm.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, let me roll my. To dark side, you know. You know, you know. I already said I was gonna.

SPEAKER_00

What?

SPEAKER_04

Let me just see here. But for the command.

SPEAKER_05

Can you extend this to long range?

SPEAKER_04

Uh oh no, I don't have. You know what? This is kind of cheating a little. Cause last time I bought a specialization, but I didn't have enough experience to actually buy anything in it. I'm gonna remove that specialization because I have not actually used it yet.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, I'm gonna say this that uh removing a specialization that you bought is gonna cost a destiny point.

SPEAKER_04

What what if I just hadn't told you? I could have just lied. What do we have for destiny? Actually, I never bought a specialization. What do we have for destiny?

SPEAKER_05

We run into that situation all the time. Well, if you're removing your specialization, you'll have one left.

SPEAKER_02

Can I buy insurance- can I buy insurance for this uh phone after it's already been destroyed? No. You know what?

SPEAKER_04

I'm flipping it, I'm flipping it, I'm getting two range upgrades so we can go to long range.

SPEAKER_02

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_04

No one in this arena is using the force. You're all my enemies.

SPEAKER_05

Look, if you are, you know, suppressing force abilities at long range, that w I'm gonna say that would also be very helpful if there are any VIPs that are watching from an exposed vantage point during the final rounds.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, don't make me look for anyone.

SPEAKER_04

I'll flip a destiny point to get that experience back. I'll buy the two range upgrades, and I won't do anything with it right now because I didn't get enough force anyways.

SPEAKER_05

Okay. So, uh for the preliminary rounds, Chris, are you gonna be giving Starzan any advice about his opponents?

SPEAKER_02

If you allow it. Doesn't matter. I'm gonna I'm gonna do it anyway. Okay.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, so in the locker room beforehand.

SPEAKER_02

Uh why don't you roll me a your force to see if you can uh Does the two strength add the uh like to add let's see here, spend to add equal to the power.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so you need to spend one to use the power, and then you need to spend an additional two points to give Starzan those blues.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I still need to upgrade my fucking force. Okay. Alright, so I'm gonna roll it. Dice app. Two lightside. Fucking holy shit. Fucking bullshit. Fuck well, not bullshit. Holy shit. Good news. What do I see in this next guy? What or what do I see in him? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

So you can just give Starzan some general advice. I'm gonna say that you can't add a full blue because you don't have the power. But since you've got like a hint, just general, and we want Starzan to move forward. I'm gonna say that you he can add an advantage onto his role. Not a blue, but just an advantage.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. This next guy, he's a re uh he's a real shitgibbon. Uh a shitgibbon. Yes. He is g he said what he said. Uh he's gonna he's gonna go for your nuts a few a few times. You need to just go for his neck over and over and over again.

SPEAKER_01

Alright, so three purple add an advantage. That gives me five success and two advantage. Shit. Okay.

SPEAKER_05

So the preliminary rounds, you can easily pass. Uh the fuzzy primate guy that you're up against, smelling of feces, it may be a cultural thing. Gets a smoking hole in his chest from Starzan's uh I don't know how how elegant you are, but you know, power is uh helpful as well. And Savage as well, on his part. Five success, one threat, and a triumph. So Savage can easily pass as well. Uh he does get that threat, so it seems like maybe he's like over-exerting himself. He's wasting too much energy on like stuff that he should be able to overcome easily.

SPEAKER_04

Is he trying to impress Star Zab?

SPEAKER_05

He just gets into the thrill of combat a lot.

SPEAKER_04

Not free anymore. He loves killing.

SPEAKER_05

Like, it's over fat like his his like matches are over incredibly fast. Uh but like he comes back sweaty every time where it's like if he had taken it a little bit of time, if he had sort of waited it out, he still could have won, but he's in such a frenzy that it's like once he's fighting, it's hard to get him to stop.

SPEAKER_01

Like Starzan, you just got him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Maybe Starzan or Zid needs to uh remind him to pace himself.

SPEAKER_00

Should I heal these bitches?

SPEAKER_04

Which bitches are bitches? They're they're okay.

SPEAKER_05

They didn't take any damage yet.

SPEAKER_00

I mean they haven't been sh shot in the chest yet, but like.

SPEAKER_05

Uh and what what did you roll there, Starzan?

SPEAKER_01

It was how many success again? Five success and two advantage.

SPEAKER_05

Okay. So you and if you're watching the betting uh pools, you and Starzan are not in the top ten yet, but you're both like people are s starting a little bit to take note of you.

SPEAKER_01

Randy the Savage and Starzan the Starzarian. Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna slow me down. Ultimate Maniacs.

SPEAKER_05

So as you climb uh the ranks, your next bouts are against slightly more skilled opponents. These, you can see, are Atomari duelists from high-ranking families. They seem to be like the kind of people who have competed, if at not a professional level, at least like they like the college basketball equivalent, where this may be the first time. Some of them do seem a little bit nervous because it seems that below this ultimate professional level, they do tend to use non-lethal weapons. So the stakes are beginning to get higher.

SPEAKER_02

Stakes have never been higher. Do your force shit, and I will uh roll accordingly. Alrighty. Uh let me roll that forest eye again. Roll that beautiful bean footage. One dark side.

unknown

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02

Use it, Chris.

SPEAKER_05

I'm gonna I'm gonna uh dabble. Okay, so Starzan and Savage have been killing these guys. So you know that like if you look into the future to help Starzan, every time you glimpse into the future to see what's gonna happen, it's like you see death. And but this is like, I want death to happen. So you can try and figure out how best to deal death to Starzan's more uh refined, more cultured opponents to give him another advantage.

SPEAKER_02

Another advantage? I don't want death to happen, it just kinda happens sometimes.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but right now you do. You want it.

SPEAKER_05

So this one is gonna be uh an opposed role. These guys, they are a lot more skilled. So this is going to be against two reds, a purple, and a black.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. What do we how we I forgot to add my force dice, by the way. Um I'll do that next time. Uh how are we doing for destiny? You got one. I'll save it.

SPEAKER_00

We killed that guy because he was gonna kill an entire planet of people. This is just killing for sport. Yeah, but I guess if we win, we'll save the galaxy.

SPEAKER_05

They all signed consent forms, just like you and Randy Savage.

SPEAKER_01

Seems uh five success, two threat, one dark side, one light side. So I'll use that light side to cancel out the threat, and uh I almost did RD2.

SPEAKER_04

Uh Chris Devin's characters getting all lumped together today. So just make a flat five.

SPEAKER_02

I'm very unoriginal with my characters, so it is uh, you know, it's fine.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, Devin.

SPEAKER_02

They're all as distinct.

SPEAKER_00

You food boy.

SPEAKER_05

So Savage can feel you in the force, bringing your force. So he does the same as well. He wants to try and out roll you on this, he wants to outfight you, he wants to although he does have big sub-energy, he wants to prove himself to his dom.

SPEAKER_04

Tell me I'm good, starry.

SPEAKER_01

Daddy. Sorry.

SPEAKER_04

Well, it just feels like calling you daddy is like a second date thing.

SPEAKER_01

Well then. Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_04

Uh-oh. What? So did he roll a despair?

SPEAKER_05

I swear to god, if he rolled a despair already. Savage has five brawn and four ranks in melee. He got an advantage, a despair, a light, and a dark.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god. So it's going to hurt.

SPEAKER_05

You what you felt about him does come to pass. He does get blasted right in the chest, but You don't always have to fucking hurt. Because he did get that dark side, he didn't get any failure. He got advantage and despair. So with that dark side, it's gonna make it a success. They both get the point on each other at exactly the same moment. Oh. Blasting each other in the chest. Savage is the only one still standing, so he is declared the winner. But he's gonna need some medical attention. Elyria, if you try and heal him, he pushes you away and he says, No, this is good. And he starts like pounding his chest wound like Kylo Wren. As you may have noticed when you fought him before, when Savage is critically injured, he gains plus two force rating.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah. He's a pain pig.

SPEAKER_02

Pain pig!

SPEAKER_00

Pain pig!

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, a dom. Or sorry, he's a sub!

SPEAKER_05

A sub. Savage walking away from a uh blast straight to the chest. Starzan, you are climbing up higher than him in the betting pools. But Savage walking away from a chest blast, like normally these are considered draws. Like normally a winner is declared the if somebody survives, but it's more a formality. They are never ex they're not expected to like compete again, and Savage competing again is kind of like like there's talk about this. Like a guy got shot in the chest and he's going again. So so although Savage isn't as favored as Starzan is, like Starzan, you're like into the top ten. Savage is still a little bit at the bottom for the finals, but Oh no. The people who are putting like putting money into Savage seem to be like putting more money onto Savage because it's like they got a feeling that like, oh, this guy, like, there's something about this guy.

SPEAKER_01

Well now it's an underdog story. Yeah. He's gonna he's gonna uh win over the crowd with his.

SPEAKER_02

If Savage wants like uh tips on how to defeat the next guy as well, I can give him tips.

SPEAKER_04

I kinda figured you'd be giving them both the tips, or have you been able to get the things that they're gonna do? I thought so too.

SPEAKER_02

I thought so too. I'm not I'm not trying to hoard them. I just, you know. Well you've only been he would have to roll for both of them.

SPEAKER_01

You've only been rolling for stars now. Yeah. Look, as long as the tips don't touch, it's okay. You can do both of us.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yes, of course. If if Savage wants them, I can try and give some tips as well. Savage doesn't seem to want them. That's that's exactly what I thought.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. So this next round is a big one. The stadium is buzzing with excitement. This is like the semifinals, the last four to go. You can see that like as you guys go to the stadium, as you are in the locker room, everybody's talking about like there's a lot of like the planetary rulers that are here. Uh the VIPs. If Dooku is watching, he'll be watching this. Can we can we see if we can sense him? Well, you can see if you can sense him. In the locker room, before you guys go out, you can see your opponents. One of them is the Lesat, the big Lasat fellow, who's uh doing some prayers before he heads out. He may have a touch of the force about them. And the other is the masked Knight of Wren, who you can see wears a lightsaber slung at his hip. So he definitely has the force.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, now that we're up to the big guns, could I try rolling suppress again?

SPEAKER_05

Would you want to do it now, or do you want to do it when you're actually out into the stadium?

SPEAKER_04

I mean, if I'm committing it, would it really make a difference?

SPEAKER_05

If you're committing it, it wouldn't make a difference.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, because I I'd be committing it so it would at least cover the opponents for both uh Starzan and uh Savage. Yeah. Let's see what I can do.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. While we're getting ready, I'm gonna do marked for death against my opponent. Commit that force dice so I can add two combat tags against target. Okay. And precise aim. Suffer a strain to reduce target's melee and range defense by one.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I got two light side and two dark side. Interesting.

SPEAKER_05

So you'll have to use a destiny to do both. If you want to.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, because it's like I can use one for the basic force power, two to extend that out to long range. No one. Oh, I only need one.

SPEAKER_05

I mean, because when you yeah, because when you get um it's spend one point to increase the power's range by a number of range bands equal to the range upgrades purchased.

SPEAKER_04

Right. So that's in that case, do you not have to spend that uh destiny?

SPEAKER_05

No, she would, because she'd still need to Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I still needed to get that XP now because I didn't have any of them. That does mean that I could I could also get a strength upgrade. Because I don't have any strength upgrades, and then that uh adds additional failure onto any force power channels.

SPEAKER_05

Because here's the thing, you could what are the odds, because if you want to include you would have to extend that to extreme range. So if you want to use a second point to extend it, that would extend it by another two range bands to extreme, and that would cover Dooku.

SPEAKER_04

Ooh. You know what? Maybe I will do that.

SPEAKER_02

You will do that?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I'll do I'll do that, but then I should still have one point left over. So I could still take an upgrade in strength and then have it add an additional failure to force power checks, and then just commit all of it. Commit both my force die to this.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, so you're uh adding two failures and reducing the pips generated by one. Yes. Okay. So in this case, because you're doing this, that means you're gonna be rolling against your opponent as a normal combat check, and they're gonna be rolling against you. And whoever rolls higher is gonna be the one who wins. So, Starzan, you are being pitted against the Knight of Ren. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

May I may I roll again to give him another advantage? Uh yeah, you can you can roll.

SPEAKER_01

This is a knight of Ren. I recommend not getting killed by him. The sword traps the souls of those it kills.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, I got two light side again. Okay, so yeah, you can you can give Starzan an extra advantage on his roll. So I got three automatic advantages. So, uh Starzan. Start with you to see how you do. This Knight of Ren, as you're facing off, you can feel his power in the force. So your roll against him has got it'll be a melee roll standard, two purple. He has two ranks of adversaries, so that's gonna upgrade it to two reds. He has two points of melee defense. So that is going to add two blacks. Two reds, two blacks. Okay. That we don't have any destiny left, right? You don't have any destiny left. Okay. Unless you want me to roll his first, and I'll see if I'll I'll give you one back.

SPEAKER_04

Oh.

SPEAKER_06

Hmm.

SPEAKER_05

What do you guys think? Maybe not.

SPEAKER_04

I feel like whenever he's like, do you want one? Like that feels like a uh a trap. It's a threat. It feels like an invitation for us to fuck around, so we may find out.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well we'll play it clean if we could. Four success, one threat, two dark side. Well, there's my advantage to that. There's also advantages, yeah. So actually four success, two advantage. Three dark side, two dark side.

SPEAKER_05

Are you gonna use those dark side, or are you just gonna be content with your four success two advantage?

SPEAKER_01

I'll be content.

SPEAKER_05

Okay. So this uh knight of Ren. So he is gonna use a destiny point to uh upgrade his role. So he got two success, two light sides, two dark sides. He's gonna use those two dark sides to get four success, but he also got one threat. Uh-huh. So your two advantages puts you just over the edge. That's right. This we're edging. This Knight of Ren, uh, although he is a skilled duelist, he is rough and untrained. He's not committed to violence the way you are. It seems like he may have just been entering this to get prize money or to boost the reputation of his order. But you can find an opening and just blast the shit out of them. Oh yeah, yeah. Stab him in the chest.

SPEAKER_02

They don't like it when you stab them in your chest. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05

Most people don't. After you after you claim victory, the other knights they scurry out and like grab his body, dragging him away, and like one of them grabs the lightsaber off his belt and I guess declares himself the new leader. If any of you are keeping an eye on the VIP box, you can see that this turn of events, Dooku is up there, and if you're maybe peering at him through if you've detached the scope of your gun and using it as a telescope.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I'll spy on him.

SPEAKER_05

Or did you would you have potentially smuggled your gun in?

SPEAKER_04

Would I be able to? Because like I prefer to.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Let's see. I mean, even if I do, I'm not I'll I'll still detach the scope to spy on him and not just be like, let me just line up this guy and my sights.

SPEAKER_05

Oh well, you don't wanna- you don't wanna hang out, uh, like uh in the find somewhere where you can like just snipe him?

SPEAKER_04

Uh, would if I could, but I got two threats to smuggle.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, no, so you wouldn't be able to smuggle it in, but you can you can bring in your scope.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Sit in the stands and peer.

SPEAKER_05

And you can see that he's disappointed almost as if that was somebody that he was potentially targeting, but he is certainly intrigued by the man who did claim victory.

SPEAKER_04

Ooh. The Starzan. The Starzarian.

SPEAKER_02

Starzarian of Starzan.

SPEAKER_05

You can- you can see him leaning over to uh a human man dressed in fine Atomari clothes, probably the leader of this planet, the Parator. And he like, it seems you can't, I don't know if you're great at reading lips, but it seems like he's like asking him a question, and they both look down towards Starzan, and the guy kind of shakes his head in a way that's like, I don't know who he is.

SPEAKER_01

Some guy.

SPEAKER_04

What would it be to read lips and re recount my very accurate reading?

SPEAKER_02

He's saying olive juice.

SPEAKER_05

Olive juice. Probably be a four purple perception.

SPEAKER_04

Hell yeah, I'm gonna roll it. I hope I get lots of threats so I can just tell you guys something wildly wrong. Are you trained in lip reading? No.

SPEAKER_05

Add a black.

SPEAKER_04

Move a black. But it didn't help. I got one threat.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. No, you you can't.

SPEAKER_04

He's saying purple monkey dishwasher. I don't know what it means. The code.

SPEAKER_02

Purple monkey dishwasher. Can I can I roll around to find a better idea of what we just get started off of this uh uh wild goose chase.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I think he likes ya. Maybe he's gonna buy you a dishwasher. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Starger needs some big appliances.

SPEAKER_04

I heard you were talking about big appliances.

SPEAKER_05

Savage is in the middle of his match. That's right.

SPEAKER_04

Savage comes running back.

SPEAKER_05

And he's in the four. Okay, so Savage in his injured state. Jesus. How? What? How did he fuck up again?

SPEAKER_04

What happened?

SPEAKER_05

Uh, you got a failure, five advantages, a despair. Another fucking despair? Four lights and two darks. That is enough to boost him up to a success.

SPEAKER_01

It's because he wants to be, man.

SPEAKER_05

This is a test of being nimble. It's fence tick.

SPEAKER_01

Why is Tarzan doing so well?

SPEAKER_04

This is not the way to impress Starzan.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. Taking hits is pretty cool. It's telling.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, it's Starzan feel like okay. This is how it win over Starzan.

SPEAKER_02

I've never seen somebody take so many bumps. In the We know he can take a pounding.

SPEAKER_05

So let's let's see how his opponent does. So uh survived, he's got two ranks of adversary. That's gonna help him. He gets the defense from uh the dueling weapon. Ooh, interesting. One success, three advantage, and two life ties. So despair. No. Is that taking into account my suppress? Um oh without the suppresses, it's one success, three advantages. Very good, very good.

SPEAKER_04

Ha ha! I I am helping.

SPEAKER_05

So, yeah, one success and three advantages. Uh, his force is being suppressed. He does get a failure added onto that. And no, it's two failures added onto that.

SPEAKER_04

It is two failures added onto that.

SPEAKER_05

So even using that one, his one remaining light side tip, he can't bring himself to get a success. It seems like his prayers are for not. As Savage, he gets into the Bloodlust and he's going at him with such ferocity that he's leaving himself open to attack. Like, if this Lastot was not like so scared of him, he would easily be able to take him out, but his reflexes aren't there. His prayers go unanswered. Savai just rams the sword into his chest, it blasts him, and then he's like swipes with like the sharpened edge of the blade and just decapitates them on top of that. Then he rips off his bandana and sunglasses and screams. Oh no.

SPEAKER_01

Slavage!

SPEAKER_04

No, you dumb fucker!

SPEAKER_01

This man does not represent us.

SPEAKER_00

And I can use my limited perception to look around. See if I can see.

SPEAKER_04

Perhaps Dooku, as an old old man, could not hear that without force enhancing his senses. As I am suppressing them, he did not hear.

SPEAKER_02

Is that is that the thing she can do?

SPEAKER_04

Maybe he's like, what was that?

SPEAKER_05

Dooku, uh, if you if you're looking for weird scope, Dooku just politely applauds. You wanna roll me a perception?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, let's roll perception. Is that the polite applause of I don't want to let anyone know that I recognize this guy? Or the polite applause of, I didn't quite hear that, so I'm just gonna smile and nod.

SPEAKER_05

Alright, so this is gonna be against his cool. Okay. This is gonna be against four reds and a purple.

SPEAKER_04

Four reds and a purple?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, this is Count Dooku. This is the leader of the entire separatist movement movement. He's very cool. He has extremely high presence.

SPEAKER_04

Destiny.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, you got one. Looking Dracula.

SPEAKER_04

One to downgrade one of the reds. Yeah. I at least got three yellow. We'll see. Two failures for threat.

unknown

Woohoo!

SPEAKER_05

You get the feeling that he's an old, old man who didn't hear what happened. And he can't and that and then Savage is too far away to get a good glimpse at him. Never mind, there are giant jumbotron screens uh that are catching him in 4K, like he's the CEO of a tech company having an affair.

SPEAKER_04

Uh he just ducked down under the camera.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, but this is the feeling that that you're probably safe and Dooku has no idea what happened, that his old old man, eyes and ears, cannot recognize Savage.

SPEAKER_04

Don't worry, guys, I think we're in the clear. I think we're fine. Now we're fine.

SPEAKER_02

Those are some famous lessons.

SPEAKER_04

But then he's so fucking old. How is he gonna know? He's so old.

SPEAKER_02

Listen, I've never known old people to actually be able to listen to anything in their life.

SPEAKER_03

Exactly.

SPEAKER_05

After uh Savage leaves, he comes back into the dressing room and he claps you on his shoulders, Starzan, and he says, I was magnificent! Yes!

SPEAKER_01

You performed very well. Yes. Well. Next up is the finals. You and me. Oh no. Oh no.

SPEAKER_04

Ooh, who's gonna blast whose chest first?

SPEAKER_01

Well now, now even I won't I won't do the the cool hand thing. We'll do the uh predator bicep handshake.

SPEAKER_05

You can do the predator bicep handshake. The final round tomorrow is uh the one of the big finale events. Because as you've been fighting, these starfighter dog fights have been happening at the same time. So there's a lot of like tomorrow's like the big day. Zap roused everyone. He always does! Yeah. So you do have until tomorrow before this match. You have Dooku out in the open now, though. Do you want to actually go forward with this duel to the death with Savage? You don't have to.

SPEAKER_02

We can just like go talk to Dooku. Yeah, can we can we like take out Dooku now, like tonight?

SPEAKER_04

We do know where he's staying if we want to try to infiltrate it.

SPEAKER_05

Or do you want to just blast him while he's in his motorcade like Franz Ferdinand?

SPEAKER_04

I wasn't able to smuggle in my gun. I don't have my gun.

SPEAKER_05

Well, you don't have your gun in the stadium. Wanna take him out?

SPEAKER_04

That's true.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

We could wait till he leaves and then see if we can just give him the presidential treatment.

SPEAKER_05

Because at this point, you would have gotten a hotel room, I assume, or a series of hotel rooms where all of your stuff is. Maybe uh maybe built on top of a book depository.

SPEAKER_04

That was something we specially requested when we were booking it. What do you guys think? Wait till tomorrow to do the fight and then see if we can get in, uh, infiltrate the palace, or I get my rifle and we just try to make things pop off.

SPEAKER_02

Last one. Last one, last one.

SPEAKER_01

Just go for it, okay. Because if we fail, we can still do the fight tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00

I mean he did yell. That's true.

SPEAKER_04

It's true.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like the element of surprise.

SPEAKER_04

If if he has no way of knowing that you guys are connected to the assassination attempt, if I fail, why wouldn't the fight proceed tomorrow? Right. What murder! What assassination attempt! What assassination attempt.

SPEAKER_02

What murder?

SPEAKER_04

We do that. Can we go back to the room so I could get my gun and uh see if I can get set up for when Dooku leaves the stadium.

SPEAKER_02

Can we snipe him? If we can snipe Dooku, that'd be incredible.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so um. I am assuming that Kala, as soon as you notice this this has happened, as soon as the matches are done, you start booking it back to the the hotel. Yeah, I'm gonna haul ass. So you can you can haul ass. Uh the rest of you, the athletes, as you exit the stadium, there are throngs of people. Now you are becoming celebrities. Now you are the big two. Not only are you like the finalists in one of the most coveted competitions of the planet, you're not even from there. So there's a lot of controversy surrounding your victory. A lot of uh people asking if Savage's uh behavior was unsportsmanlike, a lot of people asking, is that how that's supposed to be pronounced? Uh a lot of people uh asking Starzan, would you like to donate your genetic material? Uh Starzan's like, no, seed snatchers! So uh do you want to how do you want to try and use this crowd at all to try and uh because you are kind of at a sort of VIP entrance. There may be another even more VIP entrance. Like for me, for like getting this set up. Well, like if you guys want to block anything or try to use the crowd to your advantage.

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah, because if I'm if I'm trying to get set up, like maybe if um hmm.

SPEAKER_02

This is for when he's going to leave the stadium, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, that's when I would be trying to snipe him.

SPEAKER_02

Can we uh where where's the best vantage point? And can and is there anything that we can do to like Oh no?

SPEAKER_04

Like if there's an extra if there's an extra VIP exit, then like maybe if if you and Savage are kind of like centers of attention and people are swarmy around you, maybe if you wanted to like pile a bunch of people around the second VIP entrance, so like there's a lot of chaos and confusion already when he steps out, and then when his head explodes, there's even more chaos and confusion, and no one really knows what happened or where it came from. I trust myself to not shoot an innocent bystander.

SPEAKER_02

I feel I feel like we should okay, so uh Savage and um uh Starzan are going to meet up with uh or are uh gonna be the ones that can distract Yeah, they're currently being swarmed by fans and paparazzi.

SPEAKER_05

And Kala, did you request a room that was overlooking a motorcade?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, why not? I just want to have a view. I love a room with the room.

SPEAKER_01

A book depository.

SPEAKER_04

That's the that's what's in the basement. Our hotel is over the book depository.

SPEAKER_05

So, Kala, as you return to your hotel. Takes you a little bit, you're you're traveling on foot, I'm guessing, so it would take you a little bit to get there.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

But when you enter the receptionist at the desk, he says, Oh, uh, excuse me, you're with the Starzan party and the Savage party?

SPEAKER_03

Uh, yeah. Yeah, yes. Why?

SPEAKER_05

We heard about the the win, and it is customary for the finalists to be invited to a dinner for the main event.

SPEAKER_04

A dinner?

SPEAKER_05

Yes, at the Parators Estate this evening. If uh pass it on to your friends.

SPEAKER_04

Ah. Hmm.

SPEAKER_05

So you do have a if this if this fucks up, you do have a backup plan.

SPEAKER_04

That's good. As long as he does not know that I'm the one who tried to assassinate him. Although he already knows that Savage is there, so like No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. He has old man ears. How is he even gonna know? No one's gonna know.

SPEAKER_02

He doesn't know.

SPEAKER_04

He doesn't know. Yeah, I'll pass it on to you guys. It's just like, but first let me see if I can make his head into a firework.

SPEAKER_05

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Let's do it. Baby, you're a firework.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so you guys are coming out the athlete's entrance. The uh planetary governors visiting dignitaries of EIPs, they are leaving from a second entrance into a motorcade of uh vehicles. The speeders do have tight security, but Dooku is riding in one that does seem to be a convertible. Oh yeah, maybe he kind of they do lower the roof.

SPEAKER_04

Loves the breeze in his old man hair. Yeah, because if maybe you can steer the crowd to be like in front of the motorcade path, so they have to like slow down and try to clear people out of the way.

SPEAKER_05

I uh let's yeah, let me see if I can um be like, okay, so give me a leadership to uh whip these people up into a frenzy or coercion, I guess. Because coercion is often used for whipping people into frenzies as well. My leadership is better, so I'm gonna use leadership. Okay, it's a big crowd. Um so I'll give you a destiny point, a red and two purple.

SPEAKER_02

Red, two purple. Three success. Okay, so everybody look at we have the best pe uh we have the best people here. We have the number one zon the call sheet, ladies and gentlemen, uh Starzen and Randy.

SPEAKER_03

Randy! The amazing name!

SPEAKER_05

Then the crowd starts following the dispersing into the street, blocking the road back to the estate in front of the hotel slash book depository. And you can even hear like some people like murmuring to themselves when they see Starzan and Savage being like, Oh, I heard that they, you know, that they're part of the same group, that they came together, and you hear people say, Oh, they were roommates.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god, they were roommates.

SPEAKER_05

Oh my goodness. Heard they work out together. The hangin' and bangin'. Motorcade with the convertible speeder that Dooku is riding in, is forced to stop and slow down. The local security starts like getting out of their speeders to try and push the crowd back. But the vehicles have stopped for now. Okay, let's line up a shot.

SPEAKER_00

Can I use the leadership? You have the power to end this war right now. Shoot that man.

SPEAKER_04

Are you leading me through the earpiece? Thanks, Illyria.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. I feel like I will roll bad and also make you shoot worse.

SPEAKER_04

I'll keep should I keep suppress active or should I drop it so I can add the force onto my ranged heavy? Because like if he were to sense me or like be using like a force-powered reaction, that would that would be would that be contr like squashed with suppress, or is it only things that are like specifically targeting us?

SPEAKER_05

If he's rolling a vigilance against this, then um if it's force enhanced it might, but like it is just kind of a general- I mean he's an old, old man.

SPEAKER_04

If he's gonna be reacting fast enough to be able to stop me, he's gonna have to use the force.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Like he does have the sense power, like.

SPEAKER_04

And I'll suppress it.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

As she is ought to do.

SPEAKER_05

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

So it's said shit, old man. I'm a shootcha.

SPEAKER_05

So although the motorcade is stopped, it is stopped kind of far away from the hotel. So this is gonna start as an extreme range shot. So that's gonna start at four purple. He has four ranks of adversary. So that's gonna be four reds. Woohoo! Okay. He has um Oh, we're not done. No. He does have a rank of ranged defense. He is wearing his cloak, which does have armor weave. He has the sense power. Um. I'm going to. You are suppressing him, so I will roll the sense power to see if he can sense you passively. And uh you add you you reduce and add failure.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, add two failure and it's reduced by one pit per committed forest die, and I have both my die committed. So you'll be minus add two failure and minus two forest pips.

SPEAKER_05

Interesting. So Dooku got five lights, two darks.

SPEAKER_04

Ooh.

SPEAKER_05

So you can prevent him from using those darks. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

He can st or or can he still use the light? I guess we don't know.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, you don't know. I mean, I'm tell I'm telling you that like we know he would use the dark.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

So mechanic mechanically, it's not gonna have any additional penalties onto your roll.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

He cannot sense that you were about to shoot him.

SPEAKER_04

Also, fuck me, that's a lot of force.

SPEAKER_05

Right? Jesus Christ. Yeah, he's got a f he's got a rating of five.

SPEAKER_04

Shit! Okay, sorry, so that was I accidentally just erased my entire. You do have a destiny point. I'm gonna flip it to get another yellow. Because I don't know if reducing one of those reds is really gonna make much of a difference, but I can at least get myself to three yellow and a green. Um, I'll aim once, I'll take two strain and aim twice. And I have yeah, accurate two, so that adds blues as well.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, that adds two blues.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. And is there anything else I can do to boost my ability here?

SPEAKER_05

I think the the gun has the force-atuned resonator that gives you prescient shot, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, let me see. It does. Okay, how does prescient shot work?

SPEAKER_05

Prescient shot gives you a blue.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, another blue, okay, cool. So that gives me five blues. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Theoretically, it's only supposed to be on ranged light weapons, but this is something uh Aurusing would have modded onto her gun.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I modded, it's fine. Okay, guys. Let's say a little prayer to George Lucas. Interesting. I got one failure. One failure, one advantage, one triumph.

SPEAKER_02

Can you um roll uh can can you like uh I got nothing.

SPEAKER_04

No, I don't think I have anything that lets me re-roll ranged heavy.

SPEAKER_02

Let's see what happens.

SPEAKER_04

We'll see what happens.

SPEAKER_02

What happens, God? What do you want to happen?

SPEAKER_04

God, I'm trying to think what would be good to happen with one triumph, but I like I because I can't I can't get Dooku.

SPEAKER_05

Given the role you are playing as Space Harvey Oswald.

SPEAKER_02

Do you do you do you want somebody else shoot him?

SPEAKER_05

Not a second grassy knoll. This is a bullet. There are other force users around.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, ooh. There are other force.

SPEAKER_05

Do you want somebody to pick up the baton?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, like if I if I I I can't quite get it, but someone else who uses the force can maybe curve it.

SPEAKER_05

Does anyone who has the move power? Could anyone who has the move power lend a hand?

SPEAKER_01

Does anyone have move power?

SPEAKER_05

Illyria, do you have the move power?

SPEAKER_00

No. I have heal harm. That's it.

SPEAKER_01

Does Savage? Savage has the move power.

SPEAKER_04

Does Savage have the move power? Savage wants him dead too.

SPEAKER_01

Do the thing.

SPEAKER_04

Savage does want him dead.

SPEAKER_01

Bloodless.

SPEAKER_04

Is there a way that I could communicate to Savage to curve my shot? We we want it wanted. Curve my enthusiasm, please, Savage.

SPEAKER_05

He rolls his force, he gets one light, one dark. That is enough to curve the bullet just enough so that you see a puff of red mist explode out of Dooku's back. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_04

Is that old old man dead? Did I get him?

SPEAKER_05

Go fire another shot! Roll your crit. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_04

Ooh, hang on. Nope, not that. Yeah, this is good. I'm so mad. Six! Fuck. Slow.

SPEAKER_05

The target can only act during the last initiative slot. Does that mean I'd be able to get a second shot? Um, yeah, so how much how much damage does your gun do? It does nine with pierce three.

SPEAKER_01

You can very clearly see Dooku goes back and to the left. Back and to the left.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so it's like that puff of blood, that's the exit wound. So it did it does go into his chest, explodes out his back. There's chaos, pandemonium, everybody starts freaking out. The planetary security starts like immediately jumping into action. They were already ready to go. The motorcade, like the driver steps on the gap, but there is a car in front of them, so he just kind of like crashes. Oh shit! Oh shit. Somebody else in the car, like one of the security people, tries to like cover Dooku. Does Dooku look dead dead? No. Should you fuck! Should you get out of there before somebody finds you? You look like you did seven points of wound to him after his soak.

SPEAKER_04

God, I could get him down.

SPEAKER_05

Can I get another shot? Can I get another shot, please? Uh, because he is slowed down, I'm gonna say, yeah, you can get you can take another shot at him. Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, that was four red.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And I think that was the last destiny point that I used to do.

SPEAKER_05

Four red one black for his defense.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Was that the last destiny point that I used last time? Um, you have two right now.

SPEAKER_02

Oh. Can she add a blue because uh he's a little bit more of a stationary target?

SPEAKER_05

Um, no, he was stationary before.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, now he's yeah. I'm gonna flip a destiny point to upgrade my role. I'm gonna take two more strains so I can aim twice. And got right, there's a blue from the prescient shot, my two blues from aiming, and then my two blues from my accurate.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so once this happens, you everybody knows Kala made the shot. Chris, do you want to look into Dooku's future and maybe give her an advantage? Actually. Yes, actually.

SPEAKER_04

Yes and.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, and uh, let me flip that sweet, sweet destiny. Uh, I got one light side.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, so you can use that uh to tell Kala that the driver is gonna try backing up. So she should adjust her shot to to account for that.

SPEAKER_03

Oh nice. Thanks, Chris.

SPEAKER_02

And I look directly towards you and I give you a salute. And then look, oh my god.

SPEAKER_04

Or welcome. Okay. Dave Falone, answer our prayers. George Lucas kinda worked last time. Pablo Hidalgo, Dave Falone, George Lucas.

SPEAKER_02

Hey, if I message my good friend Pablo Hildalgo right now to be like, hey, can you bless our game?

SPEAKER_04

I don't need his blessing, bitch. I got three success to advantage. Get fuuuuuu. What's the crit rating on your gun? It's three. I can't quite crit him.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. Did you add my advantage?

SPEAKER_04

I didn't! I got three advantage! Yeah, I can crit him! I can crit him!

SPEAKER_05

Alright. Fuck you! He's already got a card to crit him and add 10?

SPEAKER_04

Fuck you, Doo!

SPEAKER_05

Sure.

SPEAKER_04

86! Fuck you! Fuck you, old man!

SPEAKER_05

96, 86.

SPEAKER_04

86, the old man. No, 80 I rolled 76. It's 86 with the plus ten.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, so he's compromised. Increase the difficulty of all skill checks by one.

SPEAKER_04

I should hope so if he's fucking dead. Fucking best be dead! Got three success. We got damage nine. Pierce three. Come on! Let me kill him.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_05

After his soak, he's at 17 of 18 wound.

SPEAKER_04

Can't we Illyria has heal harm! Illyria has heal harm! Maybe she just take him down that last little smidge him up away.

SPEAKER_00

Range band of range.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god, how far away from him could you possibly be? Get it as short range, right?

SPEAKER_05

Savage uh smells blood. He's looking to z to Zin for the go-ahead. Do you guys give Zin the go-ahead to give Savage the go-ahead? Yes. Yeah, but the blood on the other.

SPEAKER_00

We don't want to be directly implicated.

SPEAKER_04

I guess he was he was sent along specifically to do the assassination.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so Savage charges, he brings out his lifesaber, charges towards the motorcade where Dooku has just been shot twice by a gun with bullets. Get out of there. In a world of blasters, nobody can see a bullet.

SPEAKER_04

And it's just kind of funny that that's the way that Dooku dies.

SPEAKER_02

Well, he's not dead yet.

SPEAKER_05

He's gonna be. When Savage jumps on Dooku, he heals six Semper Tyrannis! You know, because he's Darth Tyrannis. Oh yeah. It's really funny. We'll see if he can if he can actually do it though. I haven't rolled his critical injuries yet. So his critical injury that he took. Yeah, Stinger. So it's gonna increase the difficulty of his check. So this is gonna be a lightsaber roll against three reds, a purple, and two blacks. Savage is going to add his force onto this. He is critically injured, so he can increase his force rating to four. Lightsaber skill is pretty good. So he got three success, four threats, two triumphs, and three darks. Ooh, those threats. He's gonna use those three darks to add uh three more success, so that's six success.

SPEAKER_02

Not even like to get rid of the threat. This is just sad.

SPEAKER_05

He has one health left. Oh, well, he's he's mad. He also adds, because he is uh using his anger strength, he also adds two more damage to his rolls. So his lightsaber does 16 points of wound to Dooku.

SPEAKER_04

He had one health, dude. You could have gotten rid of the threat.

SPEAKER_05

And so he's gonna roll his crit. Dooku's got two crits, he got two triumphs, so he's gonna be able to add 30 onto whatever he rolls.

SPEAKER_02

Oh fuck. He doesn't need to do this. This is excessive. That's okay. We're we we live in the excessive. We don't have to do this.

SPEAKER_05

We love the excess. So he got 84. Ooh. Uh, that is our good old favorite, up to 114, temporarily lame. Yeah, boy. So he's Dooku is temporarily lame because after that he's fucking dead. Savage jumps onto the convertible speeder, and he swipes his lightsaber through Dooku's arm, making him lame he can't take a maneuver up through his chest just bisecting him. And then he screams and roars in triumph and is immediately shot with blasters by every security officer there.

SPEAKER_06

No.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I saw this coming. I saw this coming.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it was kind of why he was brought along.

SPEAKER_01

Oh boy. I mean, he'll be lost. He will be missed. He will be missed.

SPEAKER_04

I think when he's done getting shot up, he is gonna be missed.

SPEAKER_01

We'll all have that special night of grunting together. Where we were working out and doing nothing else.

SPEAKER_05

So, uh, let's see. Um they're uh a minion group, so they all kind of act together. Savage has he's got a point of defense from his lightsaber, he's got two ranks of adversary, he is at short range. Um, so this is gonna be against a red, a purple, and a black for them. So the way minion groups is they add uh one rank for every member of the group beyond the first. So these guys have about altogether two dozen ranks of ranged.

SPEAKER_04

Two dozen.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so that is gonna be two agility, so that's gonna be two yellow, and one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two greens. Hmm. You got the button. So they got fourteen success, fourteen advantages. Uh their blasters uh do six damage. Uh base. In total? Well, the base damage is six.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay. I was about to say that seems low.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, uh, plus fourteen, so they do 20 points of wound to Savage before Soak. Blasting him. He has nine points of soak, so he takes eleven points of wound.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god, is he still standing? How much wound did he have?

SPEAKER_05

He had he has 25 wound. But then come the crits.

SPEAKER_04

Oh he's already taken one.

SPEAKER_05

Their blasters have a crit of three.

SPEAKER_04

Oh right, that was a lot of advantage.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Uh so they got 14 advantage, so they can uh basically do four crits. So they can do a crit and add 40 because he's already taken his crit? One!

SPEAKER_06

Oh yes!

SPEAKER_05

He's bowled over, he's knocked prone, and he suffers a strain. Did you get a fucking one out of a hundred? Yeah, they rolled a one, so they add 40 to a- Oh my god!

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Savage is still alive. For now.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, fuck.

SPEAKER_02

Savage is kind of hero. This guy's kind of my hero. Don't fight him to the death tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00

Can I heal him a little bit from afar?

SPEAKER_04

We gotta get him out, we gotta get him home alive.

SPEAKER_05

I I just need him to live. The the place is filling up with like smoke from all the tabana gas from these blaster bolts. It's getting hard to see. So if you want to try and sneak in and get him out. Oh yeah, you could smuggle him away. However, they are all shooting at him, so he was folded over.

SPEAKER_04

He was knocked prone. Maybe he was knocked backwards off the car.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, he was knocked backwards off the car. There is smoke hanging in the air as he falls down. Should we use this opportunity for all of us to escape? You could use the opportunity for all of you to escape. There'd be very little.

SPEAKER_04

Because like while they're getting Savage out, could I be like gathering our shit and just like, I just gotta take a trip to our car. I'll I'll be right back.

SPEAKER_05

This is Star Wars. Nobody knows how like if there's no blaster bolt and a guy just jumped, I think nobody's even like considering. I don't know when the last time was anybody heard a gunshot. Like guns are are very rare because blasters are so common.

SPEAKER_04

I also have a silencer on mine too. So even though.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, if you've got a suppressor, then yeah, then like nobody's gonna be able to. Especially s especially since Savage curved the bullet to come around from the front. The forensics won't make sense. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Because like, I'm like, if they can get Savage out and I can just get our shit to our to the custard Ganon and get it ready to run. So we can just get the fuck out of here. Dooku's dead, the job's done.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, let's like we don't like it. We don't even need to finish the competition. Let's get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. We we did what we came here to do. Starz and you won.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Do I come back to the tournament tomorrow? No. No.

SPEAKER_04

Everyone's like, he was with that guy who killed Dooku. Oh, he's back. I'm pretty sure it was a good thing.

SPEAKER_01

Well, no, that guy who killed Dooku does did earn a spot in the uh people were saying you're gonna go after the guy.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, they know that you're roommates. They know you were grunting together.

SPEAKER_01

Just just be like, I don't know him. Do not know this man.

SPEAKER_04

Look, I know there's those illicit pictures of us floating around, but I assure you.

SPEAKER_01

Doing manly squat thrusts. Nothing untoward.

SPEAKER_02

He was just having a good time. We all have good times every once in a while, squatting and thrusting. Throwing it back.

SPEAKER_04

Uh yeah, can I go get the Custer Gannett Prime? Make sure all our bags are back in there.

SPEAKER_05

Uh, roll me a stealth or a cool to avoid looking suspicious.

SPEAKER_04

Let's do stealth. Oh my god, what happened over there?

SPEAKER_05

Did we just end the war? So, everybody's on high alert. It's probably gonna be the uh higher ranking people that are gonna be must be against the vigilance then of uh the commanding officers. How vigil are they? They are two red and a purple vigilant and two red and a purple. Pretty vigilant.

SPEAKER_04

You have a death. You know what? I might downgrade one of those reds. Because I don't want to get caught. And I have a yellow three green to stealth. One success to advantage, baby. We're fine. Let's get the fuck out of here. I don't even have to leave any of our things behind.

SPEAKER_05

What do you do with you have those advantages. What do you do with uh Savage's stuff?

SPEAKER_04

With Savage's stuff?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, we're getting him out of there, right? I'll bring you stuff.

SPEAKER_05

Okay. Uh so you can head back to the castor Gannett, bring everybody's everything, get it ready to go. What are the rest of you doing as Savage is being shot into Swiss cheese?

SPEAKER_00

Can I give him a little boost? Am I close enough to give him a little boost?

SPEAKER_05

He's surrounded at short range by security officers that are blasting him. Try he falls behind the car, then you stop. So you could you might be able to get at the very edge of short range, but that would put you like right up against uh the soldiers.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, do any of you have any uh I don't necessarily want to say explosives, but anything that could make a big bang to uh make it, you know, further distraction.

SPEAKER_02

Um, do we have drugs? Are drugs explosive? Are drugs explosive? Is that something?

SPEAKER_04

Cow just got assassinated and you're like, hey everybody, free drugs! Hey everybody distraction!

SPEAKER_05

Distraction, distraction, distraction. Yeah, Kala didn't even need to use her drugs to upgrade her agility.

SPEAKER_04

Hell yeah, I can do it without the drugs.

SPEAKER_05

I can't assassinate somebody without drugs.

SPEAKER_04

I can assassinate without chemical assistance. God, I should have taken the drugs.

SPEAKER_00

I would be still Come to me, jungle friends.

SPEAKER_04

What what is okay, what's the environment like? Could there potentially be beasts around?

SPEAKER_00

Could I at least blow it to provide a temporary confusion to these people to stop shooting him?

SPEAKER_04

Why is there a bantaloing around here?

SPEAKER_00

No, a scarier monster.

SPEAKER_05

Do you want something uh that is going to be like scary or because I I I have in mind the beast that you will summon if you're if you don't specify.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I'm sure they got animals around here for some sort of land or sky tournament.

SPEAKER_04

Are you thinking like a predator animal that people would run from or like uh summoning a herd animal to stamp it on their games?

SPEAKER_05

Like a stampede or something.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Roll me a knowledge zoology.

SPEAKER_00

Because I was familiar with these games, so I could be familiar with any animals that would be around for them.

SPEAKER_05

Give me a two-purple knowledge Xenology.

SPEAKER_00

What the fuck? One advantage.

SPEAKER_05

Um What the fuck? You don't know of any offhand, but looking around, you can see there are a lot of uh the Atomari equivalent of pigeons.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

So you could.

SPEAKER_00

Bombs away!

SPEAKER_05

You can blow this beast call and these little annoying flying rats. The rats that you were prophesied have come to pass. They're little dragging wormy tails and their winged toothy mods. They start flapping around, heading towards the general area of the beast call. You're close enough to the soldiers, that the soldiers they hear the flapping of wings and they start like turning around, they're on high alert, they start blasting. And there is a lot of confusion as like this this huge flock of pigeons descends on the area as if it was scattered with rice.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah!

SPEAKER_00

Phew.

SPEAKER_03

Then maybe you guys are gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00

One day I will meet a scary beast and record its call for later use. But until then, it's just whatever.

SPEAKER_04

Listen, if it works.

SPEAKER_05

So the uh soldiers are distracted. Should flee. Get out of here.

SPEAKER_04

Are you guys gonna get Savage? Is Starzang gonna pick up Savage and his big muscular arms cradle your sub?

SPEAKER_01

I will carry Savage.

SPEAKER_05

Big man. So, you can add a blue for the smoke that's hanging around. You can add a blue for the pigeons. However, you are in broad daylight. This is the guy who just killed the leader of the Separatists, even though the Separatists aren't really well known here on Adumar. He was a VIP at the biggest sporting event on the planet that everybody is watching and recording. You can see news camera droids floating around watching everything that's going on. So I'm gonna say this is gonna be a five purple stealth.

SPEAKER_01

Someone wanna take the lead on this?

SPEAKER_02

Um, I'm even that good at stealth. Let's see.

SPEAKER_05

We don't have any destiny points currently. Uh Kala is very agile. She has good stealth, but she's gone back to the ship.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, unfortunately, I think I'm the stealth person.

SPEAKER_01

I have three green to stealth, so.

SPEAKER_00

I have one yellow, one green.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I'm gonna commit that dice to uh increase my uh agility. Increase your uh agility? Yeah, I forgot about that.

SPEAKER_05

Bringing it to three. Um, because you can uh because you've got force rating two. Yes. Okay, so you could even commit to two of them.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, okay. Wow, I didn't know that. Uh oh, I guess because I couldn't I could never commit two to my brawn, because then that would be seven. Yeah. Okay, so then I'll get four. I feel like Starzan commits to his brawn all the time. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04

Is there is there any way I could maybe bring the ship closer so he at least doesn't have to uh go as far?

SPEAKER_01

Um. One success, two threats, one triumph.

SPEAKER_04

Hell yeah. Also, is Zin on the ship? Zin's on the ship, right?

SPEAKER_05

Uh Zin is with the rest of them.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, good. At least we know where Zin is. I didn't want us to take off, and then it's like, by the way, you left Zin behind.

SPEAKER_01

No, so maybe maybe uh the the triumph is no one wants to fuck with a giant man uh fireman's carrying another giant man too.

SPEAKER_04

I mean you didn't get success, didn't you? Like success and threat. Yeah. Can you yeah?

SPEAKER_02

Can you be like, listen, he ain't heavy. He's my brother, baby.

SPEAKER_04

And they're like, okay.

SPEAKER_02

No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_04

Whatever you say, large oily man.

SPEAKER_02

We can let him go. He's that's his that's his brother. He wouldn't lie about that, would he?

SPEAKER_01

Covered in oil and blood, which one is thicker? Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_05

Made you think. So, Starzan, you got success with Triumph. You can sneak, you can jump in very quickly, lively, oily, grab uh Savage, and hide him. You got those threat though. So the best way to get away from here without being seen is to go underground.

SPEAKER_04

Like underground?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, you can pull up a storm read and climb down. Ah, sewers.

SPEAKER_04

Not sewers. Not sewers.

SPEAKER_05

The threat is that as you climb down, you see what makes Atomar tick. Morlocks! Is it Morlocks? Is Atomar runs almost literally on the backs of an underclass that is kept below the surface of the planet. Oh no! People working at hot machines to keep everything running being whipped and corralled by droids, not even like human slave masters. Like robots are are given to oversee the work that happens down here. And you can you can drag Savage through like these underclass work tunnels where dirty, grubby, malnourished human beings like stare at you. They have no idea what's going on up top. They're they are not a part of the society. But also, the fact that they're that you ha you can go down here, there's all these tunnels under here. You'd you may not know how to get back to the spaceport. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02

I swear we could have I sworn we could have we should have uh parked in the itchy lot. I'm gonna try looking around. Can we can I perceive? Can I perceive or like can I do a words can I do a foresight to see if I can we can uh uh find our location sooner? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Where does Starzan have to go to get out of here?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, if you if you if you want okay, uh Chris, roll me your foresight then. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Can I just roll intelligence to know where the ship is.

SPEAKER_05

Well, if if Starzan cause Starzan would have snuck, he would have grabbed Savage, jumped underground. The rest of you can are still above ground. Uh I rolled one dark side, but I'm gonna use it. Okay. So you know that Starzan is not the brightest bulb. So you can see in Starzan's future that he is you can sense like fresh air, you can get a glimpse of like going from darkness into light. This stupid fucking idiot. Uh he is going completely the opposite direction, but as annoyed as you are, you know where he's gonna end up. You know which wrong exit he's going to take. And when he pushes open the grate and climbs out of the Moorlock caves, uh you can be there waiting smugly. I knew you'd take the wrong route.

SPEAKER_02

I don't I don't want to ru uh rub my uh ability in your face, but uh since nobody wanted to take it away from me, I'm gonna use it to be a complete shithead. But so much rubbing this time.

SPEAKER_01

A lot of rubbing lift Savage up.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so uh helping Starzan up after that weird route he took, you can take him back to the spaceport where Kala is getting the ship tuned up and turned on. Yeah, it is. And all of you, Zin, Savage, Starzan, Valeria, Kala, and Chris, can blast off from Adumar. Now, and a major assassination has taken place. Adumar is not just the planet of dueling. The best fighter pilots in the galaxy are from Adumar. And many of them are members of the planet's local security forces. Uh-oh. They see a random ship blasting off when the planet has been locked down. They are on your tail.

SPEAKER_02

Can we wait instead? Can we like wait it out? No, I guess we couldn't. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Nope, nope, you know what? We got this. You know what? We got this. We got this. We got this. And you know why we got this? Cause I got impact, baby! I had to alight off the steering wheel! Or get the fuck out of here!

SPEAKER_01

It's like your spinach.

SPEAKER_04

Kala's pupils go as wide as dinner plates. I'm in the zone. I'm gonna do piloting space. I'm gonna get this the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_01

The spice is essential to space travel.

SPEAKER_02

Now that I know that uh what f uh Words foresight does. I'm gonna uh abuse it.

SPEAKER_04

I was gonna say it's like you're figuring out how to use Ward's foresight. It's like every single roll, like okay.

SPEAKER_00

I plot us a course with a few jumps to lose their trail.

SPEAKER_05

Alright, uh give me a you're gonna do you're doing this under duress. I'm gonna give you a destiny point here, uh that maybe Kala can use to evade the cops. Uh so that'll be a red, a purple, and a black astrogation, since you're plotting just a couple of jumps. Unless. Two success. Oh, no, you got two success.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Woo!

SPEAKER_05

I was gonna say, unless you wanted to uh attempt some light speed skipping. Potentially, I mean I might just end up doing that all on my own anyways. So, uh, two success. You can plot these courses. Uh it's not gonna help Kala in any way, though. So Kala, this is gonna be piloting versus piloting.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

So you're gonna have to outfly these guys. Uh this ship is pretty light. It does have a plus one to handling, so you can add a blue. But you're gonna be piloting against three red and a purple.

SPEAKER_04

Ooh, three red and a purple.

SPEAKER_05

They're sending their aces after you.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

Uh I got Ilyria is astrogating in the co-pilot seat, so you can't have any help there.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Uh, I don't suppose either of you want to co-pilot, huh? Oh no, wait, in the co-pilot seat.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I if if I if I can like if I can help her out in any way, um, whether it be being a co-pilot or uh, there is a gunner's station. Am I am I good at gunnery? Let's see.

SPEAKER_05

It's not like a full turret, it's just like a uh a little console on the wall. I could I could gun.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. At least, you know, try to make them scatter a little bit.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Is okay, is there the piloting equivalent of aiming? I I've never really done piloting that much.

SPEAKER_05

So a maneuver you can take is uh an evasive maneuver to upgrade the difficulty of all attacks against you. Um, or you can stay on target. Uh, or you can punch it. The ship immediately accelerates to its maximum speed, suffering strain per speed gr gained. You can uh angle the deflector shields as a maneuver. Um you can aim, but n that's only for gun ring.

SPEAKER_04

Um, maybe I'll uh punch it.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, so accelerating to your maximum speed.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

So uh the ship is going to take some strain, then you're pushing it faster than it should be able to go. So you we can say that can add a blue here.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. And what do we have for destiny?

SPEAKER_05

Got one.

SPEAKER_04

Got one. I'm gonna flip it to downgrade. Because my impact lets me upgrade, and that way we're at least evenly matched, plus I get a blue. Let's see. Baby, three success, one threat, and a triumph. We're getting the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_07

Oh baby, we're getting the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_05

So, yeah, your ship does take a little bit of extra system strain. It rattles all around you, but you can punch the throttle. Blast out of the atmosphere as the aces of Adam are, the starfighters of Adam are you might say, uh, give chase, but you're just a little bit faster. You have more reason to fly better. This is a life and death situation. You are a little bit higher, both uh in terms of physical distance and out of your fucking mind. Of course, and with the lyria's coordinates punched in, you can jump into hyperspace, blasting to wherever it is, eventually heading back home with Dooku dead in the back seat of a convertible down on the planet, and the forces of the separatist army now under the control of General Grievous.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, well, we know who we gotta kill next.

SPEAKER_05

So things have changed. We don't know how, but there's probably gonna be a lot more massacres next time on Star Wars Empire Wreckers. This episode of Empire Wreckers is brought to you by our top patrons, Alphabros 522, David B. Eric Charles Perazzo, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Suki Nintendo, Thomas Davidson, and Vaginator.