S13E18 - Knightfall

The Jedi night has come. Thanks to the work of anonymous Republic agents, the Clone War has been revealed as the culmination of a thousand year plot by the baby snatching Wizards.

After cutting the strings of their puppet, General Grievous, Jedi Warlord Mace Windu attempted to assassinate Chancellor Palpatine, but was foiled by the valiant Anakin Skywalker.

Now cloistered inside their fortress, the loyal 501st Legion prepares to assault the Jedi stronghold and end their threat once and for all....

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Wreckers, the Star Wars actual play podcast where we're starting to put skulls on our hats. Who's ready to be the baddies today?

SPEAKER_10 0:11

Callacet's ready to be the baddies today. And maybe if the Jedi didn't kill so many of those kids, there wouldn't be so many skulls to put on my hat.

SPEAKER_08 0:20

Bonjour, je m'appelle Croissant, and uh I did not know that I would be feeling as conflicted as I am, but the confliction feels good.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Oh Starzan has felt a strange new energy in his body, in Starzan's form after he took on that youth warrior on the planet in the R Fala 7 when he felt the skull of that small child smash and he felt the wounds as he fought their master and took his best. He knew there was no returning from the shadows. There was only a way forward to fight those who hurt him for a revenge of Star Z.

SPEAKER_07 1:11

It was beautiful, man. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

Love it.

SPEAKER_06 1:14

And Illinois doesn't know what you're talking about. This all seems quite justified to her. From my perspective, the Jedi are evil.

SPEAKER_04 1:23

And if you're ready to have a perspective, why don't you come along with us to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in Star Wars, the Jedi Night has come. Thanks to the work of anonymous Republic agents, the Clone War has been revealed as the culmination of a thousand-year plot by the baby snatching wizards. After cutting the strings of their puppet General Grievous, Jedi Warlord Mazewindu attempted to assassinate Chancellor Palpatine, but was foiled by the valiant Anakin Skywalker. Now cloistered inside their fortress, the loyal 501st Legion prepares to assault the Jedi stronghold and end their threat once and for all.

SPEAKER_10 2:00

Look, they are in fact baby snatchers. To be perfectly fair.

SPEAKER_08 2:05

They and they kill child and they kill children. I mean, I know that we killed the children as well, but they did it first.

SPEAKER_04 2:13

Those children started it. Yeah, so you have had some time to reflect on uh what has happened since the previous altercation on your way back to Coruscant in the Sword of Justice Jed's uh ship. Rip Rip Jed?

SPEAKER_10 2:28

Rip Jed.

SPEAKER_04 2:29

Rip Jed. And for whatever personal reasonings you might have, each of you uh as a result of the actions that you have taken throughout not just the encounter that you had where you killed those kids, but throughout essentially your entire career, that perhaps the light side, if it can be called that, if the Jedi wield the light, can it truly be the good side if the Jedi use it and do all the things that they do? That perhaps maybe all of you have found within yourselves the moral fortitude to embrace another path, a more personal, passionate path. Who says feelings are bad anyway? What a weird thing to believe. Anyway. For whatever reasons you may have, you have all decided to uh embrace this, and when you return to Coruscant, you may have a chance to uh test those out because as you knew when you arrived, uh, there's something happening. You were being recalled, your presence was required for something called Operation Nightfall. And as you approach Coruscant, pop out of hyperspace, you are brought to a military staging area beyond the Jedi Temple. You can see that there are Republic gunships that are flying monitoring circles around the temple. There are a lot of like lights shining on it. Something big is happening there, and you can set your ship down. And waiting for you is a man wearing not quite the armor of the Jedi Commanders, uh, not quite the armor of the clones, but something else. The sort of like the sort of new style of red armor that's reminiscent of what the clones and the Jedi Commanders wore, but not quite over top of a black bodysuit with a black cape. But uh, aside from the new outfits, you recognize him as Anakin Skywalker.

SPEAKER_10 4:32

Our close personal friend Anakin.

SPEAKER_08 4:34

Hello, baby.

SPEAKER_04 4:35

How are you doing today?

SPEAKER_10 4:36

Hey baby!

SPEAKER_04 4:37

Baby. Glad you could make it. We have uh some important business tonight. Uh I assume that you well, how much do you know? I don't know exactly what kind of transmissions were able to get sent out there.

SPEAKER_10 4:50

Because what what exactly were we told? I'm trying to remember from last time.

SPEAKER_04 4:54

Uh Jed told you that uh Grievous was killed, then Mace went to quote unquote arrest Palpatine or to try and get him to step down or to assassinate him. Something happened. Uh Mace Windu attacked, Anakin saved his life, and then because of this attack, the Chancellor declared contingency order number 66, uh, which turned the Jedi into enemies of the Republic because clearly they have enacted some kind of takeover.

SPEAKER_10 5:22

We we heard about the uh the assassination and um and you saving them Master Skywalker.

SPEAKER_08 5:29

Yeah, I did. Um my condolences. I I will not elaborate my condolences to your former crew, Mayze Rotten Hell.

SPEAKER_04 5:39

Well, we can only hope that uh the rest of the Jedi go down is easy. Look, I was surprised when this whole thing happened too, but maybe there was a reason that we were kept in the dark. The force works in mysterious ways, but the Chancellor and I believe that you would be an asset on this mission.

SPEAKER_10 5:55

Anakin's sounding like Anakin's sounding real sweaty. Does he look real sweaty?

SPEAKER_08 6:01

Ha ha has he b has he been like spiritually? He's had a night.

SPEAKER_10 6:06

Does he look like he's feeling really spiritually sweaty?

SPEAKER_04 6:10

Uh there is a sort of different posture about him.

SPEAKER_07 6:15

He is orange and glistening like he's in a Michael Bay movie.

SPEAKER_10 6:18

Like you guys know what I mean, right? Like, not like sweaty. Sweaty of spirit.

SPEAKER_04 6:23

Doing a Herbert Long thing. I mean, he doesn't feel any sweatier than you guys do.

SPEAKER_10 6:27

Okay. So we're all maybe a little sweaty of spirit.

SPEAKER_07 6:32

That's what we have in common. We've all been in the the four songs.

SPEAKER_06 6:35

So he's still into this, even though, hmm, interesting, interest.

SPEAKER_04 6:39

He, like, as he's talking to you, like, clone medics obviously can see that you've sustained a lot of injuries, so they're coming and they're tending to your wounds, clearing any of your wound threshold, strain threshold, critical injuries you may be carrying for the work that has to happen. You need to be in excellent condition.

SPEAKER_10 6:58

Thank God.

SPEAKER_04 6:58

Yeah. And he says, So here's what's gonna happen. We need you to secure the Jedi archives before the Jedi can uh shred their documents, I guess. They've got a lot of stuff in there, a lot of ancient artifacts that they've been keeping from the galaxy for a long time. They have uh a list of children that they've been keeping an eye on to induct into their cult. They have uh who knows what kinds of weapons hidden in there. So here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna take the 5-0 first in through the front door. They've sealed themselves up pretty tight. We don't know exactly which Jedi Masters are inside the temple, but we're expecting they've had time to fortify themselves. So we're gonna go right through the front door, make a big enough distraction, and hopefully the rest of you can find a way to sneak in.

SPEAKER_10 7:43

Okay, is there like uh a side door that you had in mind for us to be uh going through?

SPEAKER_04 7:48

Well, we've all spent some time at the temple, so uh what do you guys think? We could maybe do an airdrop in in through the top. Uh potentially there's some sewer access. You could even just climb the exterior walls and try and smash in through a window. But uh, we are gonna be, of course, sending you with some backup. You're not gonna be going in there alone. There's a lot of Jedi, so you're gonna have at your command a squad of clone commandos, manka squad. And he kind of motions over to a group of four heavily armed and armored clone commandos in uh thick Qatar class armor.

SPEAKER_10 8:22

Nod to them. Hello?

SPEAKER_04 8:23

And uh we're gonna be looking.

SPEAKER_10 8:27

You know what, Lyria? You know what? We're about to go into a mission. I don't want to do psychic damage onto you. I'm gonna keep my mouth shut.

SPEAKER_04 8:36

And I've also got a gift for you from the Chancellor.

SPEAKER_10 8:39

Ooh, a gift.

SPEAKER_04 8:41

And he kinda motions, he kind of waves his fingers, and uh some clones carry over some uh cases, almost like suit cases, and they come and they open up, and there's four suits of red armor identical to the suit that he is wearing. Sick. And he says, these should be able to uh we're expecting a lot of Jedi in there, so these should be able to help us stay safe, and he kind of pounds his chest. He says, these are quartosis lined, so that should help us deflect any errant lightsaber strikes.

SPEAKER_10 9:13

I feel like we're gonna need that.

SPEAKER_06 9:15

Oh, thank god, it's got a pocket for my beast call.

SPEAKER_04 9:18

Is there a way I can still make it a Starzan look? Um Well, all the armor is on the chest, so.

SPEAKER_10 9:27

Oh, maybe you maybe you can paint it so it looks like there's nipples on the books.

SPEAKER_06 9:32

Batman armor.

SPEAKER_10 9:34

Because I still have my sniper rifle, which I do not want to give up because that's still my best skill, but that puts me over my encumbrance. Would it be possible for me to get a backpack while we're here? Just say that's to help me carry my rifle.

SPEAKER_04 9:47

If there is anything like this is a military staging area, this place would have like an armory.

SPEAKER_10 9:54

I'll get a military pack. Purchase that. I realize I was probably pushing my luck. Uh, I don't suppose anyone at this military base would be selling some impact, would they?

SPEAKER_04 10:03

Uh, roll me a streetwise or a yeah, probably a streetwise. Streetwise. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 10:12

I don't r I have three doses, so it's like it's probably fine if I don't see anyone, but it's still like, I don't know, maybe I want to top up. What's that gonna be?

SPEAKER_04 10:20

Um, that would probably be against this is a military base, so anybody who's doing anything untoward is probably gonna be trying to hide themselves. So this would probably be a two red, because it'll be against basically the the vigilance of any of their sergeants, basically. You would have to be more vigilant than their sergeants.

SPEAKER_10 10:42

And we didn't get any destiny points either. Do I even want to do this? I don't want to risk any of despair like first roll of the game.

SPEAKER_07 10:50

Do it for the walls.

SPEAKER_10 10:51

Ugh, let's live dangerously. Ah, one success, one advantage. I beat the odds. Yeah, yeah. I can sniff out drugs like a truffle pig.

SPEAKER_04 11:00

Yeah, you can find off uh kind of in one of the gunships a group of clones taking some impact before they go on the mission just to make sure that they are alert.

SPEAKER_10 11:15

I'll kinda sidle up to them just like, hey man, you uh getting extras?

SPEAKER_04 11:19

Oh, uh my lord, yes. Um, of course. Yes, of course. Uh please take this off our hands. We confiscated this from uh some lower level thug, and we uh we're just about to uh deliver it to the proper authorities, of course.

SPEAKER_10 11:34

Oh, uh uh, you don't have to do that with me, it's fine. Just give me the give me the fucking shit. Uh thank you.

SPEAKER_03 11:39

Give me my shit. Give me my shit. Give me my fucking shit.

SPEAKER_10 11:42

Give me that shit. No, I don't no, no, no, I don't give a fuck. This is for me. Don't uh, you know. But yeah, you're like, yeah, yeah, you obviously want to turn it in, right?

SPEAKER_08 11:50

No, of course not, my lord. But seriously though. Seriously though, give me that fucking shit.

SPEAKER_10 11:54

Yeah, but like I'll I'll take that off your hands.

SPEAKER_04 11:56

Thank you. How much did they have? You only got one success, one advantage, so one dose. You know what, I can live with that. They gave it freely.

SPEAKER_10 12:05

I mean, they they they took their impact. They they got what they needed right.

SPEAKER_08 12:10

They gave it away freely, like the way that they pee.

SPEAKER_10 12:14

I pee freely.

SPEAKER_08 12:15

Thank you.

SPEAKER_10 12:16

Thank you. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_04 12:17

So after you've had a chance to get any of the gear that you need, get your wounds attended to, Anakin summons you over to a war table where there is a hologram of the Jedi temple, and there are a lot of like little red dots. You can see these are all the Jedi that we've been able to uh ascertain are inside. There are a lot of red dots in there. Oh good. So you're trying to get just this many, eh? And he points to uh where the Jedi archives are.

SPEAKER_10 12:46

Yeah, that's the to uh to nerf the uh their log of four sensitive kids.

SPEAKER_04 12:51

Well, and get any other information locked down that we can.

SPEAKER_10 12:56

Because we're we're gonna have four four troopers with us. So it's gonna be eight of us all together.

SPEAKER_04 13:02

Yeah, and he says this is uh a Manka squad. Uh we didn't have time to get you introduced before.

SPEAKER_10 13:07

Were they the ones doing impact?

SPEAKER_04 13:09

No.

SPEAKER_10 13:09

Damn. I was hoping they'd be cool and they're probably fine.

SPEAKER_04 13:14

This is Nexu, Targan, Rax, and Jexel. And they kinda they nod at you.

SPEAKER_10 13:19

Wait, I know Nexu. Are those all like animals?

SPEAKER_04 13:22

Yeah, a Manka is a type of cat, so they're all named after different types of cats.

SPEAKER_09 13:27

Hell yeah! Love that.

SPEAKER_08 13:29

Where's where's Oslot, and do we get to have to deal with uh duel with him? You see, you went that way.

SPEAKER_07 13:35

I was gonna say um Mr. Mistopheles.

SPEAKER_08 13:38

Oh, uh magical Mr. Mistopheles, thank you very much. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 13:41

Rum type.

SPEAKER_08 13:42

I've never met a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistopheles.

SPEAKER_04 13:46

In the same way that um Plocoons got his wolf pack, these are a a group of uh life-size cat boys. Nice! Yeah, their their armor is like kind of like they've got like neon pink adornments with a lot of like uh like they got cat whiskers painted onto their onto their helmets. These are my kind of people. And these guys are kind of undignified. Make a squad, read your commanders, and they stand at attention and they go, ooh woo!

SPEAKER_08 14:16

Are you making fun of me?

SPEAKER_10 14:18

Do they do kill do they do little kitty paws in the air? Do they go oooo?

SPEAKER_04 14:25

No, they're standing at attention.

SPEAKER_06 14:28

How dare you think they would do something so undignified?

SPEAKER_08 14:31

So uh disrespectful. Grow up. Grow grow up, Calcet. Grow up.

SPEAKER_10 14:39

Look, I'm trying to I'm trying to understand their culture.

SPEAKER_04 14:42

And the way this is gonna work mechanically is that there's four of them, there's four of you. So each of you will have one that you can kind of control and tell what kind of dictate what they do.

SPEAKER_08 14:53

I wanna hang out with who what's what's my favorite name here? Rax.

SPEAKER_04 14:57

I wanna hang out with Rax.

SPEAKER_08 14:59

If I if I stay with him, I can get Rax on Rax on Rax, man.

SPEAKER_04 15:03

Ra- Rax is short for presumably Rax Shear, which is a uh type of large saber-toothed tiger that is on uh the Tagruda homeworld. Targons are four-eyed saber-toothed lions. Uh the Nexus are uh, of course, from Attack of the Clones. It's my animal companion.

SPEAKER_07 15:23

Oh!

SPEAKER_04 15:26

I haven't gotten it yet, but Jexels are giant albino snowpanthers.

SPEAKER_06 15:31

Ooh.

SPEAKER_10 15:32

Hell yeah. Sorry, Allyria, I don't Did you did you have one that you wanted, Alyria?

SPEAKER_06 15:37

Uh maybe Nexu?

SPEAKER_10 15:39

Yeah, you go Nexu, I'll go Jexel. I like the next one.

SPEAKER_06 15:41

Which one was Nexu?

SPEAKER_10 15:42

The the That's the the clone uh attack the clones kitties.

SPEAKER_06 15:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 15:48

So Jexel.

SPEAKER_06 15:49

They got big mouths full of- I mean they're not actually the cats, it's just their names. It's not like that.

SPEAKER_10 15:56

Yeah, but that's what they embody.

SPEAKER_07 15:58

I like that they identify.

SPEAKER_04 16:00

They can't modify the clone commando armor too much, but if these were like Power Ranger helmets, they would they would all have like they've at least got like the paint jobs of those particular animals on them.

SPEAKER_08 16:11

Saber-toothed tiger.

SPEAKER_04 16:12

So so they're except they're all saber-toothed tiger.

SPEAKER_08 16:17

Sabertoothed tiger.

SPEAKER_10 16:18

I just like that Jexel has the most X's in the name, so uh, Jexel. Me and Jexel, baby.

SPEAKER_06 16:24

I've got a big ol' It's like a spider cat.

SPEAKER_08 16:27

Dexter is my favorite Star Wars character.

SPEAKER_06 16:31

It's like the color of a tarantula, and he's got four eyes.

SPEAKER_10 16:33

Yeah, it's good and cool in your friend. Except not this is a person, but you know.

SPEAKER_06 16:39

Eyes red. Infrared vision. Hell yeah, baby. I mean, of the cat. I mean, I'm sure he has infrared in his mask.

SPEAKER_10 16:51

Anyways. So, yes, this is uh Manka Squad. Good to have you guys on the team. Uh woo. Um, so for sneak it in, because Anakin, you mentioned um I'm sorry, what's the correct way to address you now? Anakin Master Skywalker, do you have a preference? We're friends, Anakin is fine. Oh, okay, good.

SPEAKER_06 17:17

But to but to anyone else. Yeah, anyone.

SPEAKER_10 17:20

Right on. Uh, so you mentioned sewers, maybe uh airdrop back entrance. I feel like, um, I feel like eight of us going up in the sewers. That might be too much. But uh would is there anything we might be is there anything we might be able to roll to know of any back entrances that we might be able to sneak to? Uh probably knowledge lore. This is the Jedi Temple. Would okay, if it were like this is the entrance we would sneak out of when we were still at the Jedi Temple, would you accept streetwise?

SPEAKER_04 17:52

Yeah, if it was something that you used in the past to uh to sneak out.

SPEAKER_10 17:56

Yeah, sneak out and get up to some hooliganism. Yeah, some hula hands.

SPEAKER_07 18:00

Anakin 100% knows all of the spots in the Jedi Temple that you can like bone in quietly. Yeah. Discreetly. Find your own personal crystal.

SPEAKER_10 18:08

I don't know how to get in, but we can definitely fuck in this alcove.

SPEAKER_08 18:12

They're right beside the karaoke spots, though those will cover our uh exits.

SPEAKER_10 18:16

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:18

Okay, what would that be for us streetwise or lore? You've lived at the Jedi Temple, uh, so if you did have to sneak out and do monkey shines from time to time, it would probably be a two purple, but uh I'm gonna give you a destiny point, because you don't have any, and it could be guarded, you don't know what's gonna happen. And you're looking for places that also any of the other Jedi in the temple would have either forgotten about or not known about to begin with. So you're it's not just your knowledge of the temple, but it's the knowledge of all the other Jedi that could be in there. So that is gonna be a red, a purple, and a black.

SPEAKER_10 18:57

Okay, let's see what we got here.

SPEAKER_06 19:00

Oh you roll, continue. You say your results first. One despair.

SPEAKER_10 19:08

Oh everyone's talking about it. Let's go this way. I know we're rolling.

SPEAKER_06 19:16

I remember the temple so well. I think we shouldn't.

SPEAKER_10 19:20

Oh my god, it's a delirium being like I was a little dangerous back in my day. I know the entrance that I would sneak out of, and it's just the main fucking door.

SPEAKER_04 19:29

I used to get hall passes.

SPEAKER_10 19:32

I would walk out the front door with permission, like a good Jedi. Yeah, I would just go with Yattle. So all we need to do is find Yattle. Oh.

SPEAKER_06 19:42

We just need to go through the cleaner's entrance.

SPEAKER_08 19:46

Anyone else? Uh I got a failure, an advantage, and a despair.

SPEAKER_07 19:52

Okay. Starzan just lost in thought.

SPEAKER_08 19:55

Um, what if this is the last season with these characters?

SPEAKER_06 19:59

No.

SPEAKER_08 20:00

Starzan knows.

SPEAKER_04 20:07

So, uh, Chris and Elyria, you both got despairs. Yep. Uh, but Chris, you got an advantage.

SPEAKER_05 20:13

I did.

SPEAKER_04 20:14

Neither of you know where it is, but you know that uh or at least you've heard rumors that the Jedi Temple wasn't always the Jedi Temple. Ooh.

unknown 20:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 20:33

That's what do you mean by that? The Jedi Temple was built on top of another building. Oh god, an ancient Sith burial ground. So so you wouldn't know where it is necessarily, but uh if this is indeed the case, that the Jedi Temple was built on top of a pre-existing structure, that maybe elements of that structure might still exist.

SPEAKER_10 21:03

Man, are we gonna have to go through the sewers again? Is it gonna be you guys being like the sewers will run right through the old infrastructure, and then we just end up neck deep in shit? Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 21:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 21:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 21:14

Yeah, I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_10 21:16

And you guys are sure that there's a building underneath the temple.

SPEAKER_08 21:20

This is what I heard from my buddy Ted, who is related to uh Rebecca, who is friends with Charlie, who once had a one-night stand with Timmy. A reliable source if I ever heard one, go on. You see, we're pretty sure beneath the sewers is the uh exquisite uh exit for uh for us when we need to make our getaway and our entrance.

SPEAKER_10 21:44

I mean, you and Elyria, you both heard this, right? Like, that's that's probably not a coincidence.

SPEAKER_06 21:49

Why would anyone lie to us about this?

SPEAKER_10 21:52

Well why would anyone lie to you? People love Chris. People find Illyria very unsettling. Yeah, but they don't d distrust her. Yeah, they wouldn't dare. She's so unsettling.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

People find Star Zen intimidating. I find you.

SPEAKER_08 22:10

I find you a cuddly teddy bear. Unzina.

SPEAKER_10 22:13

People find me pitiable, so they don't tell me Jack shit.

SPEAKER_08 22:16

That's accurate.

SPEAKER_10 22:18

Oh Chris, you're not supposed to agree. No? Oh, uh. No, you're not pitiable. No, it's not because of the red eyes, it's just your general demeanor.

SPEAKER_06 22:34

Hmm.

SPEAKER_10 22:35

It's a good thing, Illyria. You keep you keep fighting it, and I feel like you just need to embrace it.

SPEAKER_08 22:41

You're too mean to her, demeanor. Demean to her. And besides, there's an English joke there somewhere. I'm trying to get it demeanor. Demean to her. No. No, that's too much work.

SPEAKER_10 22:52

He'll turn to Anakin just like, like, she has a lot of potential to just be real spooky, don't you agree? You can be real spooky if you tried, Alyria. Anakin, back me up.

SPEAKER_04 23:01

Well, I have uh known a chess who was uh quite stern. I wouldn't say spooky, but yeah, they do have that potential.

SPEAKER_10 23:07

Yeah, exactly. See, Anakin agrees, Alyria. I think it's just the eyes. No, it's your di you know what? We do in the sewers then, huh?

SPEAKER_08 23:16

The sewers is a good place. Uh let's uh me and uh uh Illyria have heard Zetzas is the place to go. We are ready to go into the sewers. Let's bring clothespins to close our nose. It's stinky.

SPEAKER_06 23:30

So I guess we'll find out if the Jedi shit really stinks.

SPEAKER_08 23:37

I don't know what that noise was. I don't know what that noise was. I'm scared of what I just did. What did I do?

SPEAKER_10 23:44

Chrisson has been replaced by a dying pig for the rest of the episode.

SPEAKER_08 23:55

What the fuck is happening to me? What have you done to me?

SPEAKER_10 24:00

Okay, anyway, so we know our we know our entrance plan, Anakin.

SPEAKER_04 24:04

Alright, that's good. Uh I'll try to make my way to the archives. Hopefully, I can meet you by the time you get there. Okay, sounds good.

SPEAKER_10 24:12

We'll uh we'll see you on the other side.

SPEAKER_04 24:15

So you can say goodbye to Anakin and get into a Republic gunship with Manka Squad that descends into the bowels of Corccent towards the sewers where you presume there may be some remnants of the ancient structure that the Jedi Temple was built on top of. The gunship pulls up to a uh giant waste refuse pipe that is smelly and dripping with water, not just from the Jedi Temple, but from uh the entire district.

SPEAKER_08 24:53

God, in our new arma too. Ugh. It's okay. We can put Simon Z dishwasher afterwards.

SPEAKER_10 25:01

In the dishwasher, Chris, I don't know if it's that little. Are you the one who's just like forcing pots and pans in there and they never come out clean and you keep doing it because you just can't be bothered to hand wash?

SPEAKER_08 25:12

How do you know what I do when I try and wash dishes?

SPEAKER_10 25:15

We live together, Chris. We share the same kitchen. I know, I know who's the dishwasher, Chris. Okay, can we uh plug our noses and go into the shit river?

SPEAKER_04 25:33

You can plug your noses, go into the shit river. Uh Manga Squad can use their uh clone armor attachments to uh turn on some flashlights. You can use your lightsabers to light the way as well, illuminating the tunnels as you move quietly, potentially, through the sewers.

SPEAKER_07 25:53

She's got fancy new armor. Is there a way that we can like use our lightsabers to like burn up the shit ahead of us so it doesn't get us burning?

SPEAKER_08 26:02

Just you're you're fucking walking like a blind man with the stick just going voom voom voom voom voom shit.

SPEAKER_10 26:10

And now it smells like burning shit in here. Awesome.

SPEAKER_08 26:13

Oh god, this is the best day ever.

unknown 26:16

Way better.

SPEAKER_10 26:17

What would it what would it be if we wanted to move stealth stealthily?

SPEAKER_04 26:21

Well, is your concern moving stealthily or is your concern actually finding the entrance? Let's find uh because it doesn't seem like anyone's down here, at least like in in the sewers, it doesn't seem like anybody is uh Because I'm gonna say because I rolled that advantage, I'm gonna say uh to find the entrance.

SPEAKER_08 26:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 26:38

Sure, let's see if we can find the entrance.

SPEAKER_04 26:40

So this will be a perception to navigate the sewers. Or potentially if you're trying to look for signs of ancient construction, uh, or things that may have been covered over, maybe like knowledge lore. Uh if you're I don't know if anything else would necessarily help. Either perception or knowledge lore, probably. Perception.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 27:04

My perception's not going to be. Because you're not gonna have really anything to judge your direction by. Like, you won't have any like landmarks, you won't be able to see the stars or anything. You m the clones may have a compass. What's that? I mean my perception's best.

SPEAKER_08 27:24

Yeah, uh my my perception or lore is best, so yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:28

So we'll call it a we'll call it a two purple.

SPEAKER_08 27:30

Two purps.

SPEAKER_10 27:33

One success, one triumph.

SPEAKER_06 27:36

One success to advantage to lore.

SPEAKER_10 27:39

I can sp that triumph wills the remain the remains of the old building into existence and makes you guys right. No, there really is a Sith burial ground down here. I can't believe I doubted you.

SPEAKER_04 27:54

So as you are moving through the tunnels, you come to a point where like you can sort of see with yourselves and the clones, you can guide them towards the general direction of where you think the Jedi Temple might be, where this old construction might be, where things might have been built up over thousands and thousands of years. And as you move through these sewers, they do appear to get older and older and older, the materials get older, the techniques, the building techniques get older, and eventually you see a crack. Just a small crack, but enough to draw your attention. Something has like eroded the st- it's no longer metal here, it is actually stone. And you can smell not like the metal of the sewers, but rock and earth. And maybe you remember that the Jedi Temple, although it was built on top of an ancient structure, that that structure was built on top of a mountain, and what you're smelling is the mountain. If you shine your lights up to this crack, you can see that, like just sticking your eye up to it, you can see that the crack opens up into a hallway, a long carved stone hallway that seems to have statues lining it. From what you can tell, the statues seem to be broken. You can't really get a sense of what they are or what they're of, but they seem very old.

SPEAKER_10 29:27

Is this like that thing on Coruscant where it's like the only actual like ground that you see is the tippy top of this mountain, and it's just like the little point sticking out in the middle of a room?

SPEAKER_04 29:38

Yeah, this is this is one of those mountains.

SPEAKER_10 29:41

Oh, okay, cool. So maybe we can uh go over to the mountainside and just climb up that until it exits out into the temple.

SPEAKER_04 29:48

Well, there's like a a a hallway.

SPEAKER_10 29:50

Oh yeah, okay, let's go down the hallway. We don't have to climb up to the little nipple of the mountain, it's fine.

SPEAKER_04 29:56

Climb the nub. So uh after identifying the hole, the clones can set some charges, some breach charges, and blow a hole in the side of the sewer. And they say, all clear. Ooh woo.

SPEAKER_07 30:09

It is. That's our that's our this is the way.

SPEAKER_10 30:14

Just say that when you have nothing else to say, just like this sounds like a stupid fucking plan. Ooh.

SPEAKER_04 30:20

So you can enter this hallway, and as you do, you can get a better look at the statues that are kind of lining it. And they are humanoid robed figures hooded with their heads bowed in prayer. So it seems like this was some kind of uh force-using group that potentially predated the Jedi. And you can see there is ancient text that is kind of carved into the walls as well, like sort of like lining the entire there. It seems to be, I don't know if it's a phrase or a sentence. I don't know if any of you can read this.

SPEAKER_10 30:58

Uh, what would it be to try? Uh, knowledge lore. Knowledge lore. Ugh, my knowledge sucks, but maybe Illyria.

SPEAKER_06 31:04

Alright, I'll do it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 31:06

Okay, that would be. What?

SPEAKER_06 31:07

It's a career skill and I have zero ranks in it? Okay, I gotta change this eventually.

SPEAKER_04 31:12

Uh this would probably be a I'm gonna say two purple with a black. Because if you could read it, you can read it, but I don't know if you guys would have been taught to read this.

SPEAKER_10 31:24

I think I rolled for fun. No. Uh one failure, three advantage. And we also want to try.

SPEAKER_07 31:31

What's the pool? Smarties aren't worting it work. What are we gonna do? Two purple.

SPEAKER_08 31:34

It's time for the dummies to go.

SPEAKER_10 31:37

Bold of you to include me and what in the smarties. I got an intellect of two.

SPEAKER_08 31:41

Uh, two purple and a black knowledge lore. Black knowledge lore. Uh two success, but a threat. Ooh.

SPEAKER_07 31:49

I got one success, but two threats. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 31:53

So my advantage is that I'm not threatened by their success. Well, yeah, Cala.

SPEAKER_04 31:58

You may feel slightly like I don't know how you feel. Maybe this feels good to you, maybe this is a thing. Um But Chris and Starzan, the reason that you can kind of you can't read it that well. Uh, so the threat is you can only read a portion of it, uh, only a few words here and there. Because you have encountered this uh text before. And you saw it on the planet where uh you were sent to get that the Jedi who had that crown, and there was the ancient temple that was like Jedi and Sith combining their shit together. So the text is similar to that. So you can read some of it, and it's you recognize the text from specifically the Sith sides of it. And that's that says something about me, I guess. The yeah, and the only the only portion that you can read of this text is a little short phrase that says, The force shall free me. And although Kala, although uh you can't read it when they say this, that's like, oh, you've heard that before. That was the last line of an ancient Sith mantra.

SPEAKER_10 33:14

Oh. Do I remember the rest of it? Uh, with three advantages?

SPEAKER_04 33:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_10 33:20

Oh, cool. I know the whole thing.

SPEAKER_08 33:23

Oh, look at you go, Mrs. Smudgy Pants.

SPEAKER_10 33:27

I the person who portrays me does not, though. But I, Kala Set, certainly do.

SPEAKER_04 33:33

Yeah, so Kala, once they say the final lines, you can kind of surmise what the rest of the text is. Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength, through strength I gain power, through power I gain victory, through victory, my chains are broken, the force shall free me.

SPEAKER_08 33:51

Yeah. It's fucking deep.

SPEAKER_04 33:53

And Kala, as you remember this, uh, this mantra, and as you kind of repeat it in your head, uh, your next force roll will have an extra dark side pip.

SPEAKER_10 34:02

Ooh, fun. Just thinking about passion. Being passionate.

SPEAKER_04 34:08

So for whatever reason, the Jedi built their Jedi Temple on top of an ancient Sith shrine that was uh Kyla, you can feel uh the energy of the force swirling around you as you read this mantra and as you think about this mantra, that this is a they built it on top of a place of power and then mute like a like a mute in a trumpet. Like this thing is supposed to be uh a place of great power and of great natural power, but the Jedi have sort of clamped down on it to control it.

SPEAKER_10 34:44

Man, just I I I dislike the Jedi more with every passing minute. Hey, maybe maybe when we uh, you know, the Jedi gun, like we revive this temple and like let all this power out. This power should be like open and free, right?

SPEAKER_08 34:59

It is meant for you and it is meant for me. It is meant for uh all to see. They really like and I do not even know it.

SPEAKER_06 35:06

Keep keeping all this stuff. They like kick the kids they like and then kick out the ones they don't, and then there's people gifted all over the galaxy, and yet I don't know.

SPEAKER_10 35:17

Yeah. Like, could you could you imagine if it's like, okay, like what if we clear out the temple, right? And then it's like if it's like a new order where it's actually like, you know, we're gonna cultivate all these kids. Like if we're if we're bringing people in, like, it's our responsibility to cultivate them and make sure they actually like live up to their potential. We don't just kick them out when we get tired of them. Fuck the Jedi, dude. Elyrian, do you want to do a little fist pump to that? Fist bump, I mean not fist pump. It's a different vibe.

SPEAKER_08 35:47

What are you doing with your fist? Bump.

SPEAKER_06 35:51

Do a little knuckle bump. Yeah, that also sounds like drugs.

SPEAKER_10 35:56

Do a little knuckle bump? You can do a little knuckle bump with me right now. Hell yeah. Knew you'd come around, Illyria.

SPEAKER_06 36:05

No.

SPEAKER_04 36:06

Okay, should we keep on moving? Yeah, you can keep on moving through these halls through this shrine that seems like it's been blocked off, but uh after climbing through it, uh, eventually you can like the walls stop being stone, they stop being carved, and they begin to be Duracrete and Dura Steel, and you recognize the architecture of the Jedi temple, and you come to a door, and you can just hear some muffled speech on the other side of this door. Uh a few people having a conversation. And do we hear? Yeah, from what you can hear, if you just kind of put your ear up to it, is there are it seems like they're Jedi guarding the entrance to this thing. And they're talking about like, do we have to worry about clones how many are coming? Uh, do we think they're even gonna come to this place? We don't even know what this door goes to.

SPEAKER_10 37:02

Oh.

SPEAKER_08 37:03

Oh no.

SPEAKER_10 37:04

Well, because we have our clone troopers. If they're like right in front of the doors, like if any of them have explosives, maybe we could just get them to like set it around the door so it blows out, and then like the Jedi just get knocked down by the flying by the flying door.

SPEAKER_04 37:18

Um, yeah, so if you want to uh instruct them to set their uh charges.

SPEAKER_10 37:25

Yeah. I'll instruct uh Jexel's the one under my command. I'll instruct Jexel to set charges.

SPEAKER_04 37:31

Okay, so how are you going to find out exactly where these Jedi are, where the best place to put these charges are?

SPEAKER_10 37:38

Um can Chris do wars foresight on someone he can't see?

SPEAKER_04 37:43

Yes, but that'll be like if he does it and he's like gonna be blown across the room, then he might see him as being across the room. Um You did hear them, so perception could potentially um seek could potentially identify more specifically where they are.

SPEAKER_10 37:58

Because I wanted to roll supp because you said my next force roll would have an extra dark side.

SPEAKER_04 38:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 38:03

So I kinda wanted to roll suppress as my next one. Okay, so you wanna save that? You don't want to. Yeah, I kinda wanna save that, or at least like roll suppress before like right before he blows it.

SPEAKER_04 38:13

It could also be a leadership check.

SPEAKER_10 38:16

Does anyone have good leadership?

SPEAKER_06 38:19

I have a rank in leadership.

SPEAKER_10 38:22

What's your total leadership?

SPEAKER_06 38:25

One yellow.

SPEAKER_08 38:27

I can take a I can I have three green and I can take away a black in case we get a black.

SPEAKER_04 38:33

Okay. So, Chris, if you want to uh direct them where to place this, yeah. You can kind of put an ear up and sort of figure out where they are, potentially. Uh because you are listening, that is gonna have a black on it, so this will be a two purple and a black to direct the clones.

SPEAKER_08 38:49

Let's take one I I don't want to direct the clones. Directing the clones causes people to be mad at you on the internet. Um success.

SPEAKER_04 39:00

One success. Okay, so they set charges, they kind of back up, wait, countdown, three, two, one. The doors explode open. You can just barely see and hear the sounds of a couple of bodies hitting the ground outside the door. Everything is filled with smoke. You can't see much except for the ignition of two lights dangers of the Jedi who worked caught in the explosion.

SPEAKER_10 39:28

Uh, before they blow it, can I roll my suppressed?

SPEAKER_04 39:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 39:32

Uh, with that extra dark side, I get two light side, two dark side. But I can only use the dark side without having to uh flip destiny, right?

SPEAKER_04 39:41

So it's one destiny point to do it, and then strain in the number of uh light points you're using.

SPEAKER_10 39:47

Okay, I'll take two strain. So it'll be up to long range, two failures minus two forced pips.

SPEAKER_07 39:56

Oh, and commit uh commit a forest die. So that's break up my uh my strain. Ron to six.

SPEAKER_04 40:04

As you're kind of getting ready for this, the Jedi, they are Jedi, so they do react incredibly quickly to this. So, uh, one of them, you can kind of see as the smoke begins to clear, that there is a Biff Jedi Knight and what appears to be a uh Padawan, a Rhodian, that are still alive. And the The Padawan is the quickest to move. She runs into the smoke, and as it illuminates, uh who is the one- Chris, you were the one who was kind of standing near the door. You're probably the closest. I think so, yeah. So she's gonna attack you with her with her lightsaber.

SPEAKER_08 40:45

Oh no. Can I word force that it's like something?

SPEAKER_04 40:49

No, probably not. Uh ooh, two advantages and a triumph. Ooh. So she swings at you, Chris. You're gonna have a black onto your roll, unfortunately. She doesn't manage to hit you. Or she may hit you, but her lightsaber uh does not make uh doesn't slice through your armor, just bounces off if it does a glancing blow at best. However, uh, with that triumph, she's gonna upgrade the difficulty of your next check.

SPEAKER_10 41:19

At you on the rock.

SPEAKER_04 41:20

Yeah, so like she's swinging at you. She is uh a fully trained Padawan. Uh, so you're gonna have a black and upgrade your your next check. Her master, the Biff Jedi, reaches out in the force and is going to, like, rather than running into the smoke cloud, is going to try and pull something out. Suppress, suppress, suppress. So he is going to, he grabs onto. Well, let's see how much we can grab. Because he uh may have magnitude. You can see one of the clones maybe just starting to get a little light in the loafers, and you get the feeling that this Jedi is going to try and hurl one of these clones at another one of these clones. So this is gonna be a discipline uh check. Uh this would you guys would be at short range. Gonna give I'm gonna give you guys a Destiny point since you're out. He's gonna add another green. Interesting! Uh, so he rolled four lights, one dark, and five advantages. No success, so two failures on there. Uh not even so one of the clones, uh, will say Rax is kind of begins levitating up into the air. Uh, but Kala, your suppression field is strong enough that this Jedi can't concentrate and is unable to actually move him.

SPEAKER_10 42:48

Hell yeah. I hope they uh I hope all the for the remaining Jedi, any that get out of this alive, I get the nickname the Void. I hope they start calling me the Void. You can't use your fucking force around me.

SPEAKER_04 43:01

So, uh, Nexu, he pulls one of his uh grenades off of his belt and just throws it out because he knows the Jedi's not gonna be able to do any telekinetic shit. It's gonna be a ranged light then. Jedi's got adversary two, two failures, but three advantages. So either the Jedi jumps out of the way or the aim was off, but either way, the grenade goes out, there is a bang, and there is now just a thicker cloud of smoke. It doesn't seem like the Jedi got hit, but it is gonna be harder for uh you guys to see out, but also the Jedi to see in. So the Jedi, the Jedi Knight has no idea who how many people are in here, no idea kind of where anyone is aside from a couple of maybe shapes that he can see. Oh, Targon is gonna try and take advantage of this. So he's gonna try and blast. The Jedi with his uh blaster rifle. One advantage. So again, the smoke is really thick, so Targon can't uh exactly make a hit, but he can lay down some covering fire. So uh the next person to go while this Jedi is occupied is gonna have a blue.

SPEAKER_10 44:19

Oh, let me go while it's still all smoky because I have the multi-optic sight on my gun. So I can remove up to two black on any checks due to uh smoke, darkness, or other environmental conditions. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 44:33

So you'll have to use them, uh did you already ready your gun, or would you have brought your lightsaber out?

SPEAKER_10 44:38

I feel like I would have readied my gun. I'm still more like I'm still more comfortable with my gun than anything. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 44:45

So, uh, if you want to try and shoot this Jedi that's out there, it's got two ranks of adversary, you're at short range, uh, you won't have to deal with the uh blacks from the smoke. So that is just gonna be. I'm gonna give you a destiny point though. Uh so that is gonna be two reds.

SPEAKER_10 45:04

Four success, three advantage. Crit is three, I can crit the master.

SPEAKER_04 45:11

Okay, what's your crit?

SPEAKER_10 45:12

91, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:15

Uh suffer three strain every time he performs an action. So your gun, you can fire through the smoke with your multi-optic sight. You can see this Jedi a glowing thermal shape in the smoke. You can hit him, hang him with a a bolt. And you can tell that your shot gets them it does 12 points of wound after his soak. Nice critical injury. Uh, he does kind of like go down. He's not dead. He's got you he looks like he's got about one point of wound left.

SPEAKER_06 45:45

Oh, yeah. Let me go! Is it my turn? Can I go? Can I go? Get him, get him, get him! Can I roll? So, can I I just roll my force?

SPEAKER_04 45:54

What are you doing? And then arm him! Uh, yep.

SPEAKER_06 45:59

So that's all I do. Hope I get a black. One dark side, baby.

SPEAKER_10 46:03

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 46:05

Uh.

SPEAKER_04 46:05

You don't need to do that much damage.

SPEAKER_06 46:07

Oh shit. I d I I have to spend extra dark sides.

SPEAKER_04 46:11

You kind of know what you can run out of the smoke and just slap him.

SPEAKER_10 46:17

Just slap the one health point out of his face.

SPEAKER_04 46:20

Yeah, because it does wounds equally your intellect, and it bypasses so much.

SPEAKER_06 46:24

I wanted to get both of them, but I only have one dark side, so. Yeah, I'll just get him. I got four intellect.

SPEAKER_04 46:31

Yeah, so where do you rate them?

SPEAKER_06 46:32

I'm already pissed. I'm already pissed about the Jedi fucking cake.

SPEAKER_04 46:37

So you're sapping Jedi assholes. Sapping his force out of here.

SPEAKER_06 46:42

Rab him in the head.

SPEAKER_04 46:43

Rab him in the head, his big biff head. Suck his brains out. It deflates like a balloon.

SPEAKER_06 46:50

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_04 46:52

Horrifying.

SPEAKER_06 46:53

Is this the first person I've killed in this game?

SPEAKER_10 46:56

Balloons? I'm sure I've killed someone.

SPEAKER_06 47:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 47:00

You guys usually like to I feel like this might be the most directly you've killed someone in the game.

SPEAKER_06 47:06

Haha. I guess the Jedi aren't that strong.

SPEAKER_08 47:08

I can I I'm by the door and somebody's attacking me with a uh with a lightsaber, right? Oh yeah, the Padawan. I would like to defend myself if I could.

SPEAKER_04 47:17

Okay, so you want to attack this Padawan? Uh, you are gonna have that black, it is gonna be upgraded. But uh if you want to attack them with your Um, I should probably attack.

SPEAKER_08 47:26

Like, if he's attacking me close range with lightsaber.

SPEAKER_04 47:29

Yeah, she's attacking me with a lightsaber. I should probably defend myself with a lightsaber. Okay, so uh that will be a red and a purple. She has uh point of defense, so a red, a purple, and a black. You do have two destiny points now.

SPEAKER_08 47:44

Uh red, a purple, and a black lightsaber. Yeah. Uh lightsaber is not great. Red, a purple, and a black. And two destiny points, so I will flip one. Uh make a yellow, I guess. Red, purple, black. Hey, two success, but a threat.

SPEAKER_04 48:03

Yeah, so you can slash her, uh, defending yourself. She doesn't have the armor that you do, and you can kind of really, really get her. Even though she's given you the business, you can give it back to her. Not enough to kill her outright, but Rax, the clone that is uh under your control, he jumps in to sh to try and save you as well. So these clones, they are life-size cat boys, so of course they do have cats, claws, mainly weapons. The shanks, so uh rather than trying to, because you got that threat, if he was going to try shooting, then he would have a black. So he's gonna have to go into melee. He may not be as good at melee. Those claws are called uh scrimble shanks.

SPEAKER_06 48:51

Tear away, cat.

SPEAKER_04 48:56

Ooh, three success and two threats. So he is able to, he pops out from his gauntlet, these little like claws, these little cat claws pop out. And he kind of grabs her, like in in the meat of her shoulder, in that muscle there, and kind of just clamps down. It's not enough to take her out, but it is enough, uh, so that Jexel, who is the next one to go, can get a clear shot, won't have to worry about hitting Rax or Chris. So let's see if he can finish her off. One success, three advantages with uh a weapon that does uh ten points of wound. So yeah, Jexel can in fact blast the shit out of this Rodian.

SPEAKER_10 49:44

Yay!

SPEAKER_04 49:45

Good job, team! Oh woo! Oh woo! Oh woo! And the clones start like going through the Jedi stuff, like collecting their lightsabers, going through their uh utility belts for anything that might be useful.

SPEAKER_10 50:04

Yeah, good call.

SPEAKER_04 50:05

Anything good? Uh just standard stuff, rations, uh they have their their lightsabers.

SPEAKER_10 50:12

Okay. Did any did anyone else take uh wound or strain? Should we uh try to should we try to be responsible and actually recover that while we're in here?

SPEAKER_06 50:20

I'm good, but you go for it.

SPEAKER_08 50:22

Am I am I uh in any way fucked? I don't think so. No, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:28

Okay, I think Cal is the only one who took strain, so if you want to have minions is that's a discipline, right? Discipline are cool.

SPEAKER_10 50:34

Uh my discipline's better. I mean I only took one strain, but might as well while they're looting for success.

SPEAKER_04 50:41

Okay, yeah, you can recover uh your strain all the way back up. And you can begin making your way through the Jedi Temple towards the archives. In the distance you can hear the sounds of blasters firing, you can hear the sounds of lightsabers slashing. But uh Anakin and the 501st seem to be doing their jobs, and nobody really uh comes to stop you. You may have to stop and kind of just pause as Jedi run past to join the fighting that is coming through the front door. And you do hear some Jedi shouting, it's Skywalker! It's Skywalker, he's betrayed us!

SPEAKER_08 51:25

Oh man, that's that sucks. That's that's unfortunate, man. We're sorry to hear that.

SPEAKER_10 51:29

Oh man, I can't believe Skywalker betrayed you. That works.

SPEAKER_07 51:32

I can't believe Skywalker He's just hanging out with his cooler friends now.

SPEAKER_10 51:36

Yeah, I can't believe our close personal friend Skywalker betrayed you. Anyways.

SPEAKER_07 51:41

We all heal up, and everyone remember to save your game before the you know we're getting towards the final boss.

SPEAKER_08 51:46

Gotta make sure that we do the uh some save some save scumming as it's called.

SPEAKER_07 51:50

Yeah. Get two save points. Scummy boys. Scummy boys.

SPEAKER_10 51:54

Okay, scummy boys, let's keep going.

SPEAKER_08 51:57

Okay, scummy boys.

SPEAKER_10 51:58

Uh hopefully I'll be some scummy boys.

SPEAKER_07 52:01

Ooh woo!

SPEAKER_10 52:02

Ooh woo!

SPEAKER_07 52:03

Is that our wait, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Is that our is that our new team name now that we've we've had the the catboys joining us?

SPEAKER_10 52:09

Oh yeah, let's be the scummy boys! Ooh woo! Let's roll out scummy boys!

SPEAKER_04 52:16

So you can make your way through the Jedi Temple, taking the turbo lifts that you need to to get to the archives. In order to get to the archives, first there is a training room that you kind of have to pass through if you are trying to avoid where most of the fighting is taking place. And you can open the door to it. It seems dark in there, it doesn't seem like anyone's in there. But as you enter, the lights flicker on, and you can see that you are in this large room. There are a lot of like platforms that are moving and raising up from the floor. There are a lot of holo projectors that turn on images of indistinct-looking enemies flicker to life distractingly around you. They seem to be armed with lightsabers. You can kind of hear staticky and crackly like the sounds of speakers playing these lightsaber sounds. Starzan, why don't you roll your vigilance? Oh boy.

SPEAKER_10 53:22

Oh, that's fun.

SPEAKER_04 53:23

It's just uh unopposed roll. Two reds and a purple.

SPEAKER_10 53:27

Ooh. Starzan, you got good vigilance, right? You got yeah, you got this.

SPEAKER_07 53:31

Uh well, I have one rank in it. That makes it a yellow and a green. Uh, Starzan, you spend too much time bulking up.

SPEAKER_10 53:38

You're not a you're not you don't have good reflexes no more. Cultivating mass.

SPEAKER_07 53:43

You've cultivated too much mass! Love a destiny. Uh wow. One success, three threat. Two triumphs? Whoa!

SPEAKER_10 53:53

Wait.

SPEAKER_08 53:53

Look at you go.

SPEAKER_10 53:54

Oh, did you flip it? Oh yeah, you flipped a destiny point. Yeah. Oh, I was gonna be like, you can't get two triumphs with one yellow. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 54:04

So you get a tingle in the back of your neck, the hairs in your the back of your neck stand up, and you can tell that one of these holograms ain't a hologram, and you can unsheave the star sword and block the strike of a Jedi Padawan that just kind of comes out of nowhere, and you can sort of hit her and send her sort of skidding across the floor, forcing her to reorient herself. And got those triumphs. So you can also identify the second person that is in the room. He's up on one of the platforms that has risen into the air, and it's Plocoon, and he yells down, Ahsoka, are you okay?

SPEAKER_09 54:43

Oooooooh!

SPEAKER_10 54:45

Oh no. Oh no! But we know who Ahsoka is? Like, we I assume we know who Plo Koon is.

SPEAKER_04 54:51

You know it, you know, you definitely know who Plocoon. Plocoon is on the Jedi Council. I don't know if you'd know who Ahsoka is. Anakin never mentioned her, uh, but she does seem to be some kind of Padawan.

SPEAKER_08 55:02

This is this is this is the Empire Wreckers Kill the Marvel Universe.

SPEAKER_04 55:09

So this is gonna be a fairly uh alternating combat. Highest uh, of course, for your allied slots, you can do this in any order you want. But the rolled order was Plocoon, Starzan, Rax, Illyria, Nexu, Ahsoka, Chris, Targon, Kala, and Jexel. Man, me and Jaxel dead last. Well, yeah, I mean, you don't have to go in that order. I know.

SPEAKER_07 55:34

Yeah. I would like to go first, though. Or at least after Plocloon, because um uh quick strike. I'm engaged in combat right now. You you were engaged. I was just thinking if Anakin would be bummed if we killed Ahsoka. I mean, we don't know. We have no way of knowing that.

SPEAKER_10 55:51

Unless she happens to mention Anakin, and then we could be like, nah man, he's with us. Come join us.

SPEAKER_07 55:57

Join us.

SPEAKER_10 55:58

Maybe she'll mention Anakin.

SPEAKER_01 56:00

Before she dies, before we fucking kill her. So Plokoon's gonna go first. And he says, I know not who you are or why you bear the weapons of Jedi. I do not sense within you the discipline of a Jedi. And for that you will face judgment.

SPEAKER_10 56:14

Plokoon's such a bitch.

SPEAKER_04 56:16

So, if you've ever played Jedi power battles.

SPEAKER_10 56:19

Is he gonna lightning us?

SPEAKER_04 56:20

Plocoon, he he's done the mental gymnastics that allow him to use force lightning. He calls it electric judgment.

SPEAKER_06 56:33

Shut up. That's all this is, it's all just mental gymnastics.

SPEAKER_04 56:40

Uh, Kala, you're still maintaining your suppress? Yes. Okay. No baby. Whoa!

SPEAKER_10 56:47

Did he nor did he tank? Did he did he fuck it? Did he th did he woof?

SPEAKER_04 56:51

All he got buffet was four dark sides.

SPEAKER_06 56:55

Ooh. Yeah, dude, the mental gymnastics bitch.

SPEAKER_04 57:00

Even if Cloakoon is not willing to dig into the dark side at this point. He fucking whiffed this roll. He whipped a he with a force rating of four and four yellows in discipline, he whiffed a two-purple roll.

SPEAKER_06 57:16

Ooh. So he just stuck his hands out and nothing happened?

SPEAKER_04 57:20

Yeah. Yeah. If if you could see his expression, you would be shocked.

SPEAKER_10 57:25

Does he look very embarrassed?

SPEAKER_04 57:27

Uh well, he's got a mask on, so you can't tell, but.

SPEAKER_10 57:30

I like to hope he lo- I like to think he looks embarrassed. I hope he's embarrassed with himself. Uh, I'm gonna attack Ahsoka.

SPEAKER_07 57:38

Ahsoka, who we do not know! Ahsoke this! Not that he got a child you were doing.

SPEAKER_10 57:46

I'm sorry, it's just Ahsoke this. It's just uh It's evocative!

SPEAKER_06 57:52

I'm not gonna pee on a child, I'm gonna kill them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 57:55

Yeah. I'm gonna do something normal.

SPEAKER_04 57:58

Completely different. So she's got uh two points of adversary, two points of melee defense, so that is gonna be against two reds and two blacks.

SPEAKER_07 58:08

No. Oh no. Ooh. The first two people def it.

SPEAKER_04 58:14

Yeah, she is too agile. You can't uh can't get in a strike. She's leaping all over the place like she's a fucking cartoon or something. It is uh difficult to get a beat on her.

SPEAKER_10 58:25

Stay still, damn it!

SPEAKER_04 58:27

So, uh, the first clone to go is gonna be Rax.

SPEAKER_08 58:32

What uh what abilities does he have here? Or like, is he able to just like shoot people?

SPEAKER_04 58:37

He can shoot people, he can uh throw grenades. Um he did each of them did loot, each of them is carrying a lightsaber. Uh they just looted them from the Jedi.

SPEAKER_10 58:49

He probably wouldn't have any ranks unless you're gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_04 58:51

Yeah, he wouldn't have any ranks. Throw a grenade at uh Plocoon. Okay, so he's gonna hook a grenade up to Plocoon. See if he can see if he can catch him unawares. Plocoon has how many ranks of adversary? Three. Okay. What? Well, that's only that makes it only two reds. I mean he might be able to do it. Does have some defense as well. Interesting. Failure again. Three advantages. Triumph and despair.

SPEAKER_10 59:18

Oh. What does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? What does that mean?

SPEAKER_04 59:25

He throws this grenade up at Plocoon. Plo is able to telekinetically, even though you're suppressing, he is still a Jedi Master, he doesn't always biff it. For something like this, he's able to he's able to do it because role-based. Uh but he deflects the grenade, but he doesn't look where it's going. So the grenade sails into the ceiling, explodes, and the entire room is bathed in darkness, except the light illuminated by people's lightsabers.

SPEAKER_10 59:53

Oh, perfect.

SPEAKER_04 59:54

Uh Plocoon doesn't have his lightsaber out because he was gonna blast you with his electric judgment. Um so he's kind of dark, unless somebody has anything that can do that. Ahsoka is illuminated. Anybody else that has their lightsaber out uh is illuminated, but there will be some darkness for any ranged rolls, or if anybody decides to turn their lightsaber off. Not for me, baby.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:18

I wanna use my two fucking dice. Well, I still only got one dark side, two lightside.

SPEAKER_10 1:00:24

You just run by Ahsoka, slap her on the back, and suck some health out of her.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:29

Can I r run over and like grab her leg or something and be like, stop jumping around, you look stupid.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:38

Mega rolling at it? Can Meg her start sapping for energy? Nexu is the next one up. That's uh Illyria, that's your clone. Is there anything in specific you want him to do?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:49

Has Ahsoka stopped jumping around?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:51

Yeah, you're you've got her by the leg.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:54

Oh yeah, you can hold her still for him to shoot.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:57

Yeah. Or like claw or whatever. Kick her in the head.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:02

Scratch a face uh. He's gonna go for the shoot. Uh you can you can see just like a little a little blink as he activates his infrared visor. There's a momentary red glow, but she would be at short range. You've got her so she can't like dive behind any pillars or anything. Uh, only one point of defense. But I am gonna use a destiny point to uh make this a little harder for him. Because you are grabbing on to her. Oh shit. Uh sorry, Lilaria, he shoots you instead. He misses. Oh no! Failure, two advantages, and a despair.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:37

Oh, next to the city. At least I still have five soak now.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:42

Yeah, so he he accidentally uh hits you with his blaster rifle, so that's uh ten points of wound before your soak. Jesus Christ. Uh, but because you do have those advantages when he shoots you, like Ahsoka is still in clones killing Jedi brain, so when that happens, she like stops fighting.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:04

She says, Are you alright? Oh Ahsoka, no! Just die! Oh, it hurts. Oh, yeah, tricker. Yeah, tricker. Yeah. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:16

This this feels like a uh bri breach of the Geneva Convention.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:21

Oh, whatever it's like. Oh my god, he's your hero too! Uh he said we think we were friends. Yeah, we're allowed to call him by his first name. Are you allowed to call him by his first name Ahsoka?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:35

Ahsoka, she like catches herself and she's like, wait a minute, no, I'm fighting these people. Uh, and but because you are, you know, injured by this clone, she's not going to try and like murder murder you. She's gonna try and like whack you with her lightsaber hilt. So this is gonna be a melee from her.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:52

Just try it, bitch. My skull's so thick.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:55

Failure with advantage. So she like tries to like whack you with her lightsaber hilt. You can like grab her and just kind of wrestle and hold her there. Uh, that also means that like you are both kind of locked there if anyone else wants to try to attack you, namely Plocoon.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:12

Don't shoot me again.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:13

Uh be Chris or Cala.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:16

Oh, oh, please let me go. Go ahead. Yeah, because I want to go while it's still all dark in the room, because I can ignore the darkness. And Plocoon can't, and he's being suppressed. What would it be to get a shot off at Plo Koon?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:29

Get him right in the fucking dome, right in that stupid mess. He's within grenade range, so that would put him at short range. He's kind of up on top of this this tower. So that'd probably add a black, as well as for the darkness. He's far enough away that would be two blacks for the darkness. Not for me. And he's got adversary three. So that would be a red and two purples and a black.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:53

Okay. I realize I forgot to aim last time, so I'll take two strain and aim twice to add two blue and then two blue for my accurate and automatic advantage for my superior. And you know what? I I don't think I need to upgrade this. I think I can make it. Uh I mean it was a good roll. I got five success and two advantage. It's just not quite enough to crit. Not enough to crit. It's not enough to crit, but that's a lot of success, and my gun's very it's very tough. It's very big.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:25

So there is a flash of light as you fire up towards him. Not from your uh suppressed rifle, but from his lightning.

SPEAKER_10 1:04:39

Did he deflect all of that?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:41

So Plocoon has uh four ranks of reflect, so he can suffer three stink strain to reduce the damage by six.

SPEAKER_10 1:04:49

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:50

Uh you still hit him after a soak for seven points of wound.

SPEAKER_10 1:04:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:54

Yeah, so you do that. You can, like, although the lightsaber is glowing up there, it making him potentially easier to see, but you can also see illuminated by his blue blade, some blood stains welling up in his Jedi robes.

SPEAKER_10 1:05:12

Yay! I'm gonna murder him! One murder! One murder!

SPEAKER_04 1:05:18

That's self-defense. Starzan, is there anything uh in particular you want Targon to do?

SPEAKER_07 1:05:24

Um I have him go after Asuka Ahsoka as well. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:27

Targon gets three successes and three threats. Doesn't doesn't hit Illyria. Uh so Ahsoka has reflect. She can suffer three strain to reduce the damage by five. So enough to hit her, enough to do significant uh damage to her. But because he got those three s threats, as he's like just opening up and blasting at her, at a certain point her lightsabers like she reflect, and then their lightsabers just turn off and she darts into the darkness.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:57

I'm gonna unload unload my Variable blaster on Plocoon. I I feel like I want to take him out specifically.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:04

Okay, he does have his lightsaber out, so uh you won't need to deal with the darkness. Darkness. Alright, what am I rolling? So that's two reds and a black for his uh defense. I got three advantages. No success. So you can't hit him. Do you want him to be up on that pillar or do you want him to be down with the rest of you? I I I I wanna bring him down to our level. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 1:06:29

Play him low.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:30

Do you want any does anybody else want to be up high instead of on the ground?

SPEAKER_10 1:06:36

Oh. Oh, I could probably do a DN up high is go kick Plokoon off his perch.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:42

Get out of here, Kallisat, you climb up! Okay, so in s because you can't hit him, maybe he w maybe he reflects it, maybe he's not paying attention, maybe you decide to shoot somewhere else, but you know that there is a control panel here that controls these pillars coming up from the ground that you're supposed to jump to and from. So you can blast the panel. Plocoon comes down. Who goes up? So one other person can go up in place of Plocoon. It could be Kala to give her a better line of sight for her rifle. It could be Ahsoka. Ahsoka doesn't seem to have any ranged abilities if you want to kind of keep her stuck there. It could be uh maybe the clones, one of the clones, it could be any anyone else who might want to be kind of out of the fray a little bit. Let's put Ahsoka up. Okay, so just like swap them. Yeah. Put Ahsoka in baby Jedi jail. Yeah, so you can uh bring Plocoon down and hit the control panel. If his platform comes like just whoosh right down to the ground, and you hear another one like go right up close to the ceiling, almost like smushing, and you just hear Ahsoka say, Hey, what's going on? Not fair. So she's so she is like, this room is pretty tall, so she's at medium range now.

SPEAKER_10 1:08:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:04

So uh even with sort of a force leap maneuver, she would still like take short-range fall damage. Unless somebody has a uh a gun that can reach that far.

SPEAKER_10 1:08:13

I was gonna say, what is what is because I think it's just uh Jexel who still has to go.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:18

Jexel can go, and then Plokoon as a nemesis gets his end of turn.

SPEAKER_10 1:08:22

Because what is the rain on the range on the trooper's guns?

SPEAKER_04 1:08:25

Uh they have uh long-range blaster rifles.

SPEAKER_10 1:08:29

Well see if I'll see if he can shoot at Ahsoka then.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:32

Okay, so he's gonna uh try a long-range shot on Ahsoka. And because she is, you know, pretty out of the way, they're gonna give you guys another destiny point. Uh, two failures and two advantages. So he can't hit her. But, like, he is blasting away if she does have anything. But the most immediate thing is that you guys probably wouldn't know this. But Plocoon was the Jedi who found Ahsoka as a child. So they even though he's not her master, he does have an attachment to her. So having this clone like blasting at her while she's trapped up on this thing is gonna give a black to his role.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:13

Show manipulation.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:14

We love doing psychic damage. So he is going to uh attack Jexel then with his lightsaber. Oh no! Jexel has uh one rank of adversary. And because Plocoon is uh so broken up, he's broken up both as he is so concerned about Ahsoka, I'm gonna give him a Jescu point here. Huh. Tokukoon just bucketed today. Two failures, two advantages. What the fuck? Plocoon is uh overcome. So he can't, like, Jexel manages to like deke out of the way a little bit. He's blast, and he's getting a little this this clone's getting a little cocky. That is kind of setting uh Flo off a little bit, but he is redoubling his focus. We move to the top of the round. That is gonna add a blue to his role that's going to attack Jexel again. Three success, two threats, two triumphs.

SPEAKER_10 1:10:06

Oh no, Jexel!

SPEAKER_04 1:10:08

Uh the crit 92 plus 10 is 102.

unknown 1:10:12

Ooh.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:14

Uh, maimed.

SPEAKER_10 1:10:15

Oh no, is that the one where he loses a limb?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:17

Yeah. So he slices Jexel's arm off so he can't fire his gun anymore. So Jexel's alive, but he's essentially out of the fight.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:27

Uh son of a bitch. He has another arm, doesn't he?

SPEAKER_10 1:10:30

You can shoot with one arm. What are ya?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:33

Wem put a stim on him?

SPEAKER_10 1:10:35

Yeah, you'll be fine. Well, hold your arm back on the on your stump and then hit you with a stim pack, it'll heal right up.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:42

It's cauterized. He's not gonna like bleed out or anything.

SPEAKER_10 1:10:45

That's how medicine works. We would know. We're all very smart. We've all had medicine before.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:53

We've all been medically treated. So much medicine in us. I mean, we could uh talk about the benefits of medicine.

SPEAKER_10 1:11:01

Uh again, I didn't take my medicine. I could have been getting a boost.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:05

Alright, so dumb bitch.

SPEAKER_10 1:11:07

Oh, I'm such a dumb bitch.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:08

So Plokoon took his dumb bitch. Took his turn turn, so now it's one of you guys.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:13

Uh, how far away am I from this Plocoon chump?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:16

Uh he, like, you would probably be short range from him because he would have, like, rushed past you to take out Jexel. Right.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:24

Okay, well I'm gonna smack him.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:26

Uh-uh-uh. So that is gonna be. He has and hole. Three points of adversary. So that is gonna be two reds, a purple, and a black. It is. Four advantages.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:39

Oh man. No successes.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:41

No one's rolling good. No, if you want to, like, Plo Koon, like, you can run at him, swing at him, but on the follow-through of him slicing through Jexel's arm, he blocks your strike. He's uh he is Plocoon, he is a Jedi master, but there's only so many people that he can keep an eye on at once. So if somebody else uh wants to go after Plo Coon, uh, they can add two blues. Excellent. Dibs, dibs, dibs.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:09

He is he is preoccupied by the giant muscle man who smells like poop. Yeah. I guess I guess we all do.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:15

Uh yeah, I guess we would all kind of smell like poop. Next up in the turn order is Rax, the clone.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:20

Um, I'm gonna uh I'm I'm gonna get him to uh shoot that motherfucker in the back of the head. Plowkoon? Uh yes, please. Okay. I'm trying to get take down Plocoon as fast as I can.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:31

Okay, so uh he's gonna get those two blues. He is going to use his maneuver to aim. He can't do a second one because he he's a rival level and he takes wound as strain. Uh, so he doesn't want to take any more. Um well, I don't know. You can order him to take a second maneuver and take some take two points of wound. What kind of boss are you gonna be?

SPEAKER_08 1:12:53

Uh this would be uh he already has three blues, this would be a force? Yeah. But again, this is Plocoon. Yeah, let's let's let's let's be an asshole. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:04

So he's gonna add four blues onto his roll. You have three. Do you want him to use a destiny point? You have three available. Yes, please. Okay. That'll be three yellows. Two success and two threats. All of it. All of the blues came up blank. Motherfucker!

SPEAKER_08 1:13:21

I uh uh does he have anything so he can re-roll?

SPEAKER_04 1:13:25

Uh, no, this rival level uh support character does not have any.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:30

This is bullshit.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:31

He did get two success. Satisfaction not guaranteed. Because he did get those two threats, I'm gonna say that Plocoon is gonna spend three more strain to uh reflect that. Okay. He shoots him. Kinda. A little bit, sorta.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:48

Because I j I just want to unload my un unload my uh uh pistol on him again.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:53

Because you have you have fired this weapon before. I'll need to use a maneuver to reload. Unless you want to use your maneuver instead to pick up Jexel's rifle or somebody else's.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:06

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Let me uh I'll do that then. I'll pick up Jexel's rifle and I'll start uh hammering at him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:13

Do you want do you want his rifle or uh his pistol?

SPEAKER_08 1:14:16

Probably his uh is is one light and one heavy? Yeah. Uh I'll take the light one because I'm better at that.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:23

This is going to be against two reds and a black.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:27

Holy shit. Uh five success and two advantage.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:31

Oh nice. That brings him to his wound threshold, so you can get bucked. You can run scoop up Jexel's discarded pistol, or if you want your boy, Rax is your boy.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:46

Uh Rax is my boy, correct?

SPEAKER_04 1:14:47

Yeah, so you can run Rax, unholsters his pistol, tosses it to you, you can catch it, just unload on Plocoon, peppering him full of bolts before he can even have a chance to reflect it, and he goes down. Nice. Uh, so next up is Nexu.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:05

Tell me to shoot at Ahsoka.

SPEAKER_10 1:15:09

Yeah, shoot at Ahsoka up on her up on her pedestal.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:13

Yeah. Unl so, you know how I said that um this thing is uh went up high enough to almost squish her? Is he gonna hit the lever to make it squish her? It would be it would be a mechanics or a computer roll. Uh I will say that these guys aren't that good at it.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:30

Illyria, you get aren't good at Um.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:33

I will say if you want to swap with Nexu, you can go if you want to try it.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:39

Yeah, I'll do computers. Okay. And musher.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:41

So to hotwire this console, it is broken, so it's gonna have a black on it. I'm gonna give you a destiny point. That'll be a red, a purple, and a black.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:52

One success, one threat.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:53

Ooh. So you can fiddle with the controls, and you can make the platform Ahsoka's on lurch up closer to the ceiling. You don't hear a bang as if it impacted on the ceiling, but you don't hear Ahsoka either. So you can't be sure. And the gap the gap is really small. It's small enough that like a teenager, like a lithe teenager, might be able to like cockroach and not be crushed.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:26

She's about to become a dead teenager. But you can't be sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:30

There's there's no way, there's no way to know for sure unless you lower the thing back down.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:35

Time to cancel that spin-off. You lower it back down.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:38

Unless you want to, like, she is like, it might be enough that she's pinned up there. You could just leave her to starve to death. Yeah, you could just leave her there.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:48

Hello? This is Bobmelhorse. That won't bite us on the ass later.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:53

No, of course not.

SPEAKER_10 1:16:54

I mean, maybe it'll be maybe Anakin would appreciate us sparing his pad a wan. Not that we know that.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:00

Not that we know that. We do not know this person.

SPEAKER_10 1:17:02

We do not know this person. We know nothing about her. Because we could maybe just leave her pinned and um check back later. Or let's yeah. Lever.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:12

Lever? Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:17:14

She she's she's mushed-ish.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:16

Yeah, she's she's pinned up there at the very least.

SPEAKER_10 1:17:19

She's pinned up there.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:21

So, Elyra, you've taken five points of wound. Uh Jacksol is he's got his arm cut off, he's not gonna be any help.

SPEAKER_10 1:17:29

Yeah, can he like just kinda go back? Oh, maybe not the way that we came in, because that goes through the sewer. That's just like uh aggressive. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:39

But if there's a way that he could like Like he can hold this room and just kinda keep if Ahsoka like drops down, like That's true.

SPEAKER_10 1:17:47

Because if he has his pistol, he can at least use one hand and he still has grenades. We'll leave him here. Yeah, he's fine.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:59

Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:00

Ooh.

unknown 1:18:01

Ooh.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:02

So Lyra, you've taken five points of wound. Rax has taken two points of wound. He's gonna he's not gonna stim up. He's fine. Cala, you've taken two points of strain.

SPEAKER_10 1:18:11

Yeah, I'll roll discipline to recover my strain before we keep going. We can loot Plocoon.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:17

Do I have a stim pack?

SPEAKER_10 1:18:18

Can I stimulate two advantage for my discipline?

SPEAKER_04 1:18:22

Strain. If you don't have a stim pack, Illyria, uh, Nexu can stim you.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:27

I got one. Our minions are so helpful.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:29

Thanks, guys. What has Plocoon got on him? Uh Plocoon has his lightsaber and his robes.

SPEAKER_10 1:18:35

I mean, taking the robes feels uh. Take the lightsaber. Yeah. Throw them around just for fun.

SPEAKER_08 1:18:50

Oh fuck, these are too heavy. I'm being encumbered, and then you have to drop the robes.

SPEAKER_10 1:18:54

You can't just carry around corpses.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:56

You could take his mask. Uh, that might be able to get some money from in like an antique store or something.

SPEAKER_10 1:19:01

Oh god, do I want to know what's behind the mask? Uh. I do.

SPEAKER_08 1:19:04

Let me see what's behind the mask.

SPEAKER_10 1:19:06

You take his mask, I'll take his life.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:08

I want to see I want to see what's coming to Free because none is behind his mask. You can uh pry Plokoon's mask off of his face. Maybe Stellan Skarsgard will be able to take it off your hands in the future. Uh, but until then you see like these like the unfocused uh silver iris black eyes of the Keldwar Jedi Master, his vertical mandible, slit mouth, uh, slack. Anyways, I'll take his mask and sell it here.

SPEAKER_10 1:19:41

No, I was I was just like, uh, as soon as it was like, let's see what's behind this disgusting mask, and I feel like it says something about my media frame of reference where my first thought is like, oh yeah, let's take it off. Oh, it's Leonardo DiCaprio. Aww. That's disappointing. We wanted something cool.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:56

The man in the Plo Clude mask.

SPEAKER_10 1:19:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:00

Which cameo is this? Prince Harry.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:03

Okay, we ready to keep going? Let's do this. So after attending to your wounds, you can move through the chamber. Hopefully, uh Ahsoka stays pinned up there. If she is pinned up there, hopefully Jaxel can uh deal with her if she manages manages to shimmy out.

SPEAKER_10 1:20:23

Oh, I have a question.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:24

Yeah, you wanna do drugs?

SPEAKER_10 1:20:26

I'm wondering how long they'll last if I take them in advance.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:30

Because it's until the end of the encounter, but it's like Yeah, you're not in an encounter, so whatever encounter happens next.

SPEAKER_10 1:20:37

Oh yeah, I'm gonna take some drugs. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:41

You know what's what we're here for. So before, yeah. Before moving into the Jedi archives, you can just uh do some.

SPEAKER_10 1:20:47

Guys, give me a minute. Don't come over here, don't look at what I'm doing. Get the fuck off me. I don't know why, but I feel like today's gonna be a great day. There's no pattern on my nose, but there's a lot of bugs under my skin.

SPEAKER_08 1:21:02

Something in there that makes me feel that things are gonna go my way.

SPEAKER_10 1:21:05

Okay, let's continue.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:06

Let's do it. So, uh, given that you were surprised last time, do you want to keep your wits about you as you move into the Jedi archives? A hundred percent, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:21:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:22

Ahsoka's hunting us somewhere.

SPEAKER_10 1:21:24

I'll maybe I'll maybe get my little light dagger out, because if anyone does jump us, I don't think uh my rifle is necessarily the best for defending against close quarters combat.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:34

Remember, her vision is based on movement.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:37

This would be a if you want to try and keep an eye out for attackers, it would be against the uh the stealth of said attackers. So that would be uh against three purple.

SPEAKER_10 1:21:49

Not that stealthy.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:51

Yeah, a a high-ish agility, but no rank. Okay, so that'd be uh perception or vigilance.

SPEAKER_10 1:21:59

Oh, my perception is better. Three purple. Three success, one thread. Three success. Three success, but three thread.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:06

Two success, three advantage for vigilance.

SPEAKER_10 1:22:09

You can't sneak up on us!

SPEAKER_04 1:22:11

Starzan and Chris. As you as you're moving into the archives, you can tell, like, okay, there's people lying in wait. You can sort of feel their force presences, they're very strong. Starzan and Chris, because you got threat, each of you can only spot one. Starzan. You see a, like, kind of moving behind the stacks. The Jedi archives, the sort of front library room is this long hallway lined with the busts of the great Jedi Masters. Uh, they call them the lost 20 of the 20 Jedi Masters who have ever left the order. And there are these sort of rows and rows and rows of book-like sort of data stacks. There are some tables, and you can see sort of moving in between where like the books are in an aisle, just kind of bathed in a soft blue glow, you catch a glimpse of a cone head.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:10

Ooh. Is he pretending to be one of the busts?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:15

Ooh, the the sexual man on the Jedi Council. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:20

Giant one.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:20

Chris. Is he more Dan uh Dan Aykroyd or Jane Curtin?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:25

He's more Silas Carson. Oh. Chris, you can see as well, sort of staying behind you guys. You kind of catch a a little bit of a glance. You you don't get a look at her face to confirm, but uh after the ordeal with Ahsoka, you can recognize the silhouette of a Tagruda. Shack T is also in the archives with you.

SPEAKER_10 1:23:50

Oh, Yattel's replacement.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:52

And Illyria. Shackti wants to join us, right?

SPEAKER_10 1:23:55

What? No. Why would she want to join us? Well, I mean, maybe. I mean, maybe Maybe if you talk to her a little bit, she will.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:04

And Illyria, you got those advantages. So you see Kiattimundy, some friggin' uh married knight on the Jedi Council. What is this about? Breaking all the rules. Okay, I guess, you know, rules for thee, but not for me. Uh, you see Shack T, the Jedi who took your master's spot on the council like the day she died. They didn't even wait till it was cool. And you see the door to the deeper archive room opening as another Jedi walks out. And for a second you kind of get a flashback and you see a shape that is all too familiar with you, but no. Yadel is dead. So that can only mean the third Jedi guarding the archives in the heart of the temple is Yoda.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:56

Yay.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:58

We should run about this.

SPEAKER_10 1:25:00

Look, we've like made it through here with barely any wound, barely any strain. We're fucking mowing these guys down.

SPEAKER_08 1:25:07

You hear We should run about this. You hear on your calm links.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:11

I was just about to say, can we check in with Anakin?

SPEAKER_04 1:25:14

Yeah.

unknown 1:25:14

Anakin?

SPEAKER_04 1:25:15

Says, we're almost at the archives. How are things going on your end?

SPEAKER_08 1:25:19

Uh, we may need uh we may need some assistance. I feel as though we are in over our heads.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:25

Alright, we'll be there in, I don't know, like a round or so.

SPEAKER_10 1:25:28

Wait, how long is a round? So we'll probably have to start this on our own. How long is a round? Is it the big round or a little round? I don't know. We'll see how many attacks we get in. Yeah. Okay, like what if we all just like focus on one of them? Just see if we can like whittle down one of them all the way before they get it go again. What do you guys think? Shackti? Shack T a Kiadi Mundi? Probably not Yoda. I don't know if we can get Yoda all the way down, but uh. Because uh do they know that we're aware of them at this point?

SPEAKER_04 1:25:58

Um, yeah, a couple of you got threat, so it's like you aren't really fooling anyone. We all know what's up.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:07

We've all been there.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:08

So, uh, Shack T is gonna be the first to go. And Chris, you saw Shack T, so she's probably going to target you. I will probably then target her. Ooh, five lights, one dark. My suppress field is on, my suppress field still committed! Yeah, and so that's uh effectively three lights? Yeah. Okay. Um now, uh Chris, what is your discipline? Uh it's not great, and it's too green. Okay. Two successes, three advantages and a triumph. Is that a force-powered role though? It is. It's d so uh no successes, three advantages and a triumph. It's something so something Shack T, uh, you can feel her mind reaching out to yours, Chris. And uh she says, Acolyte of evil, turn your weapon on your allies.

SPEAKER_10 1:27:13

Bitch! No! Fuck off!

SPEAKER_04 1:27:16

Uh can I go against this somehow? Um, yeah, she failed her uh discipline role thanks to the suppress field. Okay, this is good. But she got three advantages in a triumph. So although you can like you can disobey her command, she does not have that power over your mind. But the subtext manages to sneak in. So, Chris, because she got those three advantages in that triumph, uh, that means for the rest of this encounter, you cannot attack her.

SPEAKER_10 1:27:44

Ooh. Okay. I want to be like, maybe we should just deal with Shack T, but it's like, uh man, there's still two that haven't gone yet. Fucking again. Chris, we can't just run away here.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:57

So so like, self preservation comes. To mine.

SPEAKER_10 1:28:00

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:02

And uh Keattie Mundi then. So this is going to be a use of the move power. Okay, so he got five lights, two darks. Remove two from that. He got three lights.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:14

So he's back far enough that he would be at medium range from you. So he's spending one to move the object, one to increase the range, and one to increase the magnitude. So he is going to attempt to take the lightsabers away from Chris's dealt with. So he's gonna try and take away Starzan's lightsaber and Kala you're holding your rifle.

SPEAKER_10 1:28:43

I did say I was getting got my lightsaber out in case we got jumped.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:48

So your lightsaber he's gonna try and take that as well. But he's gonna have to roll his discipline against either your discipline or your athletics.

SPEAKER_10 1:28:57

Ooh, I think my discipline's better.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:00

Yeah, Starzan, I'm assuming your athletics is better.

SPEAKER_07 1:29:03

My athletics is great.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:04

Yeah, what's your athletics?

SPEAKER_07 1:29:05

It is right now it is six. Uh let's see, with uh how many ranks? Fox one rank. And because I'm dedicating that. I also I can use a force die for it.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:16

Yeah, no, no, he does uh so he got three three threats and Kala?

SPEAKER_10 1:29:20

Uh I have a yellow two green to discipline.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:23

A failure and a threat.

SPEAKER_10 1:29:24

Hell yeah. So I know it doesn't matter, but he also is that with his two failures. So he gets three failures. That makes no difference, but I want to know that he got three failures.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:33

So if he holds his hand out, he tries to pull your weapons from your grip, but Starzan, you're too strong, and Kala, you are too disciplined. He cannot.

SPEAKER_07 1:29:42

Interestimate Starzan's grip strength.

SPEAKER_10 1:29:46

I didn't realize how vascular that man's hand was. Just bulge it.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:54

So, there is one more Jedi master to go. Yes. And he stands calmly near the entrance of the archive's deeper rooms. And he does nothing. Oh, he's one of those motherfuckers. He just stands there, his hands clasped on his cane, watching to see what you guys do.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:16

Uh there's the little guy standing there. You know he's gonna do something good.

SPEAKER_08 1:30:20

Omer, we have to go inside. Alright.

SPEAKER_10 1:30:24

Okay, I will say that based on these three, my vote, if we are gonna attack, would be to go after Shack T, because she's the only one who tried to actively harm us. Yoda did nothing. Kiadi Mundy tried to take away our lightsabers.

SPEAKER_08 1:30:38

Do you do you th do you think I don't I don't think that uh uh it's gonna make much of a difference once we s if we kill Shack T. And then we uh the other two will kind of let us go. Should we party?

SPEAKER_10 1:30:53

Hey, Chris, do you wanna try uh being like, what's your deal, old man? What's your game? Except, like, you know, workshop that a little because you got a better tone for it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:03

Uh uh.

SPEAKER_10 1:31:05

Why do you do nothing, old man?

SPEAKER_08 1:31:07

Uh excuse me, it is uh your turn. Are you sure you don't want to uh do do anything?

SPEAKER_10 1:31:14

I uh I see it is your turn in the initiative order, sir.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:18

In in the initiative order. Uh you it feels like you're building up to something. If you are w are wanting to uh do something crazy in a second here, you can, but uh just letting you know, we're I'm sure she I'm sure we're ready for it. I can't attack Shack T, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:31:38

You can't attack Shack T. You can't attack uh Kiati Mundi or Yoda. It's only these three in the building, right? Uh in the room, yeah, so it seems. They are guarding the uh the archive.

SPEAKER_10 1:31:49

Does Yoda have anything to say to Christine? Like, you're sure you're not gonna take your turn!

SPEAKER_08 1:31:53

Are you rolling? Um I will say, listen, you please just let uh uh let us uh go to the archives, and we will take them, and then we will be on our way, and you don't have to worry about us ever again. So this is a deception?

SPEAKER_10 1:32:12

Um well ourselves to the darkness! We did all agree to do that. I feel like we would continue to be a problem for them.

SPEAKER_08 1:32:23

That's fair. I mean uh and then we will be on our way, and then maybe you uh and then maybe uh uh my bosses will let you live. So is this is this a charm then, charm or deception?

SPEAKER_04 1:32:35

What are you trying to do to him?

SPEAKER_08 1:32:36

Um I w I wanna try to- I'm I'm trying to do a charm.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:40

So that'll be a charm against four red and a purple. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:32:47

Um we got we have three. Uh well, I got four failures and a threat.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:57

He just he's he remains silent and he just kind of arches one rubber eyebrow at you.

SPEAKER_10 1:33:02

Go-go. It was a real good try, Chris.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:05

Uh, Illyria Kalistarzan.

SPEAKER_10 1:33:07

I'll I'll use a maneuver to pull my rifle. I'll take two strain, do a second maneuver to aim at Shack T. I'll take two yeah, two strain for that. So I can still get a blue. We're gonna save the kids in the basement of that pizza pala, you bitch!

SPEAKER_08 1:33:24

Oh jeez.

SPEAKER_10 1:33:25

So yeah, you do have two destiny points. Um, what was it gonna be against? Because I I can aim, I get two for my accurate, and then the automatic advantage.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:37

Uh, so this is going to be against she has adversary three. She's at short range. So that is going to start as one purple, adversary one upgrades it to one red, adversary three upgrades it to two reds. She doesn't have her lightsaber out. So that'll just be two reds.

SPEAKER_10 1:33:53

You know what? I got two yellow, two green. I'm gonna I'm gonna see if we can save the destiny points. Because how many do we have? Two?

SPEAKER_04 1:33:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:33:59

Uh I'll leave them for now. We might need those later. Ah, motherfuck, I got six advantage. No success.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:06

So, uh, what do you shoot at, if not Shack T.

SPEAKER_10 1:34:10

Oh, if she has like her lightsaber on her belt, would I be able to like shoot it off that?

SPEAKER_04 1:34:14

Yeah, she can begin to reach for it, but you can blast it off of her belt with a bullet in it, it's not gonna be working. Hell yeah. Okay, I did my part. It also means she's probably not reflecting her parrying much.

SPEAKER_10 1:34:27

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:28

So that would be uh Illyria or Star Zen.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:30

Uh yeah, I'll go after Shack T again. What you gotta do to war? A lightsaber.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:34

Alright, so uh that is gonna be starting as two purple with three adversary that bumps it up to two red and a purple.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:42

Okay. Three failures, one triumph, five advantage.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:47

Huh. So Can can you break a load-bearing pillar and then drop a bunch of rocks on everybody? Is that something we can do? On everybody? On all of us? Inside the Jedi.

SPEAKER_10 1:34:58

Let's escape this hell!

SPEAKER_04 1:35:01

You could you couldn't uh drop a bunch of rocks, but you've all seen Attack the Clones. This is the the Jedi Archives building. There are lots of pillars. There are rows of bookshelves with data books in them that could domino one after the other if hit in the right way. Yeah, let's do it. Okay, so you can what do you do? Do you like slice at one of these pillars and like tackle it? How do you knock the shit down?

SPEAKER_07 1:35:28

Yeah, unintentionally. I'm just kind of putting the whole force into trying to hit her and she gets out of the way, and then she just like smashing.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:34

Dodges, you slash through one of the big columns, slam your shoulder into the book bookshelves, and they all just sort of like domino down, down, down, down, and one of them, uh, has you got triumph and how many advantages?

SPEAKER_07 1:35:47

Uh five.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:48

Yeah, one of them falls right on her. She may not be dead, but she's definitely pinned. She doesn't have her lightsaber. Uh, so she is gonna have to try and if she like on her turn, if she wants to get out, it's gonna be like she's gonna have to force some stuff out of the way.

SPEAKER_10 1:36:04

There you go. Okay, so she's absolutely.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:09

I mean, she's just proper cases on them.

SPEAKER_10 1:36:12

Yeah. Let circumstance kill them for you.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:17

Look, if the force wants her dead, she'll be dead. One of them victims of circumstance.

SPEAKER_10 1:36:22

Look, baby, I'm not I'm not trying to argue with the force. They wanted you dead. It's not my fault. Uh Illyria.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:28

Um. I feel bad. I wanna go for Mr. Polyamory.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:34

Go for Kiati Mundy. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 1:36:35

Shoot him right in the cone head.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:37

I'll pull out my lifesaber.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:39

So, uh, Kiattie Mundy, if you're gonna attack him, that is going to be two reds and a purple.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:46

Interest. Well, I got an advantage with my two failures and a despair.

SPEAKER_10 1:36:53

Ooh, one advantage, you say! Maybe it could do some of the amazing things!

SPEAKER_04 1:36:59

So, uh, as you run at him, he tries the same trick. Your lightsaber. I'm gonna say because you got those advantages, he's going to have to roll to pull the lightsaber out of your hand. But that's what he's gonna try and do. He's gonna try and disarm you first. What they do after they disarm you, we don't know. Uh, what is your discipline or athletics, whichever's higher?

SPEAKER_06 1:37:22

Discipline too yellow, too green.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:24

Look at you go. One success, one advantage, three lights, two darks. So suppress. Yes, so uh Suppress!

SPEAKER_10 1:37:35

I love suppress.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:36

So no, he can't. He tries and fails to pull the lightsaber out of your hand. He's looking at his big sausage fingers like, what's wrong with me today? Never like this when I'm finger blasting my wives.

SPEAKER_10 1:37:50

Usually my fingers are so good! The void's here and I've come to suck.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:56

Oh boy. So next are the clones. Uh, Rax, Targon, and Nexu. You want the clones to attack?

SPEAKER_10 1:38:02

Oh yeah, it's my guy's at uh my guy's at down for the count.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:06

Uh let's keep going on on uh Big Head Mundi.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:09

Kiati? You want them all to Kiatti Mundy notoriously bad at uh not getting shot by clones.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_10 1:38:16

It's true.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:17

It's one weakness getting shot. That's a big turn. So if they're all going to um attack Kiatti, so uh they would have to upgrade their roles. And we'll we'll just have them roll right after the other. The same role for each of them, unless they uh get any uh first up racks. Oh shit, failure, threat, and despair. Um, Illyria, you know how you were running at Kiati Monday?

SPEAKER_06 1:38:46

Uh Rax My boy!

SPEAKER_10 1:38:53

Maybe you'll be real lucky and it'll look like you're like, no, Master Monday, I'll save you!

SPEAKER_04 1:39:00

So you take five points of wound getting shot in the back. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_10 1:39:04

Was it Rax that shot her as well last time? Or was that Nexu? Nexu is Rax secretly a Jedi traitor trying to kill Illyria?

SPEAKER_04 1:39:14

Uh, Targon gets nothing, holds his fire. Nexu failure with two advantages. So he's trying to blast, uh, doesn't hit Illyria, but he is going to uh add a black onto Kiadi, which uh you might need because now that he's being shot at, Kiadi turns on his lightsaber and uh tries to attack Lyria. Oh no! Well, you do have some defense. Five success and three threats. Yeah, so your armor is protecting you. You are very close to being taken out though. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:54

Let's see if Shack T can lift these rocks. Cala, what's your discipline? My discipline?

SPEAKER_10 1:40:01

Um, one yellow, two green. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:04

Because I'll make her kind of since you're suppressing her, I'll make her roll discipline against you.

SPEAKER_10 1:40:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:09

Ooh, her roll? Uh nothing. Two lights, two darks. So Shack T is still pinned under the rock. And then the rock begins to lift off of Shack T. Oh no. And uh what was your what was your discipline again?

SPEAKER_10 1:40:25

One yellow, two green. Is y'all gonna throw this at me? We'll see.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:29

I think he's uh I think they're trying to take uh control of all of us. Interesting.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:34

Two success, one advantage, four lights, five darks. No success. So, yeah. No no no, the void is sucking. Now, as prophesied, uh, the end of the round, you hear footsteps coming through the hall.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:54

Oh god.

SPEAKER_10 1:40:55

No, it's our boy! He said he'd get here after one round. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:00

And Anakin arrives uh with a couple of 5-0st troopers behind him that stand guard at the door, and he says, Looks like the party started without me. Please help us in the party.

SPEAKER_08 1:41:13

This party is getting too wild. The cops are coming. We are the police.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:18

Goddamn right. Yeah, and we are bad. Back at the top of the round, finally the little green thing speaks.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:26

Ooh.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:26

And he says, Skywalker, waiting for this.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:29

I have been heard of your fall. I did. Disappointed I am.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:34

He opens up his little cape, his little cloak, his lightsaber, flies into his hands, and he says, The prophecy misread must have been. Before doing his LEGO Star Wars death sound scream and leaping across the room at Anakin. Now, Force Leap is a force power.

SPEAKER_10 1:41:57

I was gonna be like, is this too too bitchy to be like, make him roll, make him roll?

SPEAKER_04 1:42:04

I want him to get like a little bit of the air and fall on his fucking face. So he got six lights, five no, yeah, he can do it. He's fine.

SPEAKER_10 1:42:11

That damn. Yeah. Does he at least have to puff a little bit more than usual?

SPEAKER_04 1:42:15

He got six lights. Look. It costs two for him to leap across the room.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:21

Well, oh well. Tarzan told you the little guy.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:25

Gonna do something. That's his maneuver leaping towards Anakin with his lightsaber out. He's gonna attack him. Whirling little creature. So that's five yellows against. Ooh, advantage and triumph.

SPEAKER_10 1:42:41

Interesting. So that's it.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:43

He can't hit Anakin, but Anakin is gonna be busy.

SPEAKER_10 1:42:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:47

Uh Shack T continues to be pinned under the rubble. She's not gonna be able to do anything. Kiatimundy uh is going to continue to try and attack Illyria.

SPEAKER_10 1:42:58

Uh no, the medic. Just realized.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:01

I have no ability to dodge, so. Bye.

SPEAKER_10 1:43:06

Maybe he'll fuck up.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:07

Maybe he'll whiff it. He whiffs it to advantage.

SPEAKER_10 1:43:10

Yeah! Oh, Kiatty Mundy. Too busy thinking about his whys.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:16

Yeah, his fingers are too fat for this. Uh, so he's gonna have a uh however, Illyria, you're gonna have a black on your check, but he doesn't he doesn't manage to hit ya. So that's all the Jedi Masters.

SPEAKER_09 1:43:26

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:26

Uh that's their first turn of the round, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:43:29

Yeah. And then they have a second one at the end of the round. So you guys uh better make the most of it.

SPEAKER_10 1:43:36

Because Elyria, did you want to take like the first round to kind of get out of uh engagement with Kiad bad a bad choice of words, but like get unengaged with Kiaddy Mundy and see if one of the clones can kind of patch you up a bit before uh the rest of us go?

SPEAKER_06 1:43:49

I wanted to hurt him.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:51

You could. You could you you could You can take your maneuver after your action. Oh yeah, that's true. Hurt him and then run away.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:58

One dark side, two light side. I'll just grab him.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:01

That's enough.

SPEAKER_10 1:44:01

Slap him in the face. You CAD!

SPEAKER_04 1:44:04

That's enough to drain some of his energy. He looks even more old and shriveled. Who knows how old this guy is? Fuck it. Born a thousand years ago, for all we know.

SPEAKER_10 1:44:16

He's been wasting away from all those venereal diseases he picked up from some Nautilin bitch.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:21

Maneuver, I run away.

SPEAKER_10 1:44:22

And then you can back away. That's Illyria.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:25

Back away, I'll cool. I don't run away.

SPEAKER_10 1:44:29

That would be that would be cowardly. Okay, I'm I'll now that Illyria's out of the way, I'll see if I can get a shot on Kiadimundi. Nice big fucking cone head. Big stupid cone head. So much room to aim at. Alright. Speaking of, I'll aim twice.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:43

Extra strain, aim twice. Okay, so that will be a green st uh against two reds and a black because he's got a sliceaber up.

SPEAKER_10 1:44:50

Two red and a black? Okay. Uh what do we have for destiny?

SPEAKER_04 1:44:54

You have two.

SPEAKER_10 1:44:55

Two?

SPEAKER_04 1:44:56

I'll give them back.

SPEAKER_10 1:44:58

That's true. You know what? I'm gonna flip one to downgrade one of his reds because I I don't want to get a despair. Well! Oh actually, no, because I got an automatic advantage, so just five success.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:12

Okay. His big stupid dumb head. You didn't get any threat, so I'm not gonna make him reflect that. You do hit him in his stupid dumb head of quite a bit. Does it explode? Like a carrot with a firecracker in it. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:45:28

Yeah!

SPEAKER_08 1:45:29

Man, that that is a uh It's it's the type of head explosion where it's still disturbingly intact, but like with a big enough gap in it.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:38

Yeah, he's just got like now he's got a big cartoon hole through his face. Instead of instead of a cone head, it just splits apart, now he's got bunny ears.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:53

Like an MTV show the head.

SPEAKER_10 1:45:55

Yeah, that's how Kiatty Mundi's been around so long, he's actually just a he's actually just a mech suit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:01

So that's Shack T pinned under rubble, Kiattie Mundy got a big hole in his head. Uh, who's gonna try and kill Yoda?

SPEAKER_10 1:46:08

Oh god. Unless someone wants to like fucking mafia execution Shack T while she's stuck under rubble.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:16

I mean, that might be me. Somebody somebody with a uh uh unfortunately I might be the fucking I'm already doing some very cowardly stuff here, so I may as well Chris, you're the only one who can't attack Shacktia, actually. I can attack Shack T.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:32

Can I Wait Can I Is there a move that I can give you? Give me a What's the best way to do to work? Give me a deception against yourself.

SPEAKER_09 1:46:42

Deception Deception against yourself?

SPEAKER_08 1:46:45

Uh what's what's the deception going to be against? Yourself. Uh just just roll your own willpower. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:54

Am I the bad guy now? No, it's the wrong.

SPEAKER_09 1:46:57

Try to trick you himself into thinking he can attack Shack T. Total wash.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:01

Total wash? Yeah. Um okay, since it's a total wash, if you can if you can think of the workaround that I'm thinking of, I'll let you do it. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 1:47:12

What if you turned your lightsaber on and you held it over where she would be, and you just dropped it? And then just dropped it? You're not attacking her, you're just dropping it. Just dropping a lightsaber. Whatever it hits on the way, that's none of your business. That's between her and the lightsaber.

SPEAKER_08 1:47:28

Can I- Can I just drop a lightsaber from uh from a distance into her head? Okay, alright.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:34

Was that what you were thinking? I well, I was thinking you can't attack her, but you could attack the rubble. And if she happens to be on the other side of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:47:45

I did kinda ha I did kinda have that thought, but I didn't know how to uh put it out there. But yeah, I am gonna just drop a lightsaber on her.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:54

If you get hit, it's your own fall.

SPEAKER_08 1:47:57

Okay, so this would- Would this be would this be a range lightsaber? This would be a coordination. Oh, coordination against uh two purple.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:05

Yeah, I'll give you a destiny point. We'll call it a red and a purple.

SPEAKER_08 1:48:07

Red and a purple? I got interesting. One success, four advantage.

SPEAKER_10 1:48:12

Oh, that was it?

SPEAKER_08 1:48:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:48:14

Okay. Whenever it's interesting, it starts off whenever it someone says interesting and it starts off positive, I'm like, where's the despair?

SPEAKER_08 1:48:23

I I was I was interested because there's a lot of uh advantages on there, and I'm like, does that even though this is a different role than lightsaber, does this make this a uh a crit somehow?

SPEAKER_04 1:48:36

So you can uh just like hold your arm out, hold your lightsaber out, look the other way, kind of you know, put your hand over your eyes, and then just release your fingers. Wherever the lightsaber goes, it happens to go, and it does you do hear her scream in pain as the lightsaber slowly sinks through the shelf, slowly sinks through the rubble, slowly digs itself, carves a hole right through her body, and then the screaming stops. Horrifying, horrifying.

SPEAKER_10 1:49:09

I can't believe the lightsaber did that!

SPEAKER_08 1:49:12

Oh man. That thing's a monster.

SPEAKER_10 1:49:16

Yeah, man. These things are dangerous.

SPEAKER_08 1:49:19

Anyways, uh somebody's up.

SPEAKER_10 1:49:21

So it's just Yoda left. Starzan.

SPEAKER_07 1:49:24

Well. Should I attack Yoda? I mean, he's the only one left. That feels like a fun gambit. He's the only one left, so he made it just. This is this is a definite size mismatch here.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:39

Which one of you is Frank Oz?

SPEAKER_07 1:49:42

Alright. I will uh I will try and attack Yoda. This will go well.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:48

Okay, so he's got adversary four, so that's gonna be against two reds, two purples. He's got uh melee defense, so that'll add a black.

SPEAKER_07 1:49:56

Two red, two purple, a black. I'm gonna uh destiny point, we have enough? Yeah. Uh one success, one advantage, one triumph.

SPEAKER_10 1:50:03

Oh shit. Star Zen, you're so powerful.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:08

I'm gonna say that Yoda's not going to parry that.

SPEAKER_07 1:50:13

Filthy casual.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:14

So you can swipe that little green goblin and uh got that triumph. Why don't you crit Yoda? 69.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:24

Nice, nice, nice.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:26

I'm serious. So you can uh you can 69 Yoda, his senses are scattered.

SPEAKER_08 1:50:32

They are such a that was such a good 69ing that you just scattered his senses too.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:38

Uh yeah, he removes all the blues from checks until the end of the encounter, so no blues for Yoda.

SPEAKER_07 1:50:44

Yoda cannot blue himself. He he already he blew himself too much. No, uh I cannot blue again until he uh has a a good rest.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:55

So, uh now let's see how the clones fare. Hopefully it's better than when they were attacking Kiaddi Mundi. Somehow they're gonna shoot Elyria again.

SPEAKER_10 1:51:07

Can one of them heal her? Well, I guess Chiattie Mundi's out of the out of the mix now. You can probably heal yourself.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:13

So, uh, Rax, failure, two advantages, and a triumph. Uh so Targon's gonna add a blue and upgrade his role. Success and two advantages. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_10 1:51:26

Wait.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:27

Uh Yoda is going to reflect this. It's just a clone. Just a clone. So he only ends up taking two points of wound from this. Clones are getting a few good close shots in. And Nexu gets Oh, success and triumph.

SPEAKER_10 1:51:46

Nice.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:47

Uh, so Yoda is, of course, gonna reflect this again. Again, he's only gonna take two points of wound from this. But 24 plus the 10 he already got from Starzan. That is 34. He's stunned, he's staggered, he cannot perform any actions until the end of his next turn. So that means Yoda, he can tell that he is sort of being outnumbered here. And he disengages from Anakin, because Anakin, because of Yoda's triumph earlier, Anakin basically has to skip his turn. So we're back at the top of the round. So it's Yoda's turn again. But he can't perform any actions. So he disengages, leaps back to the archives, and runs into the secured room. Oh that bitch. Can we pursue? You can pursue.

SPEAKER_10 1:52:37

You gotta get in there!

SPEAKER_04 1:52:39

You guys can run into the secured archives room. It is dark in there. The lights are low. There are a lot of shelves of various artifacts and things. You can't see any sign of Yoda. Yeah, can we spot him? Yeah, that would be against his stealth. Okay. Uh, so that would be against two reds and a purple.

SPEAKER_10 1:53:07

Ooh. Two failure, two advantage.

SPEAKER_08 1:53:10

Three failures, but two advantage.

SPEAKER_06 1:53:13

Oh, thank god, no despair. Four failure, one advantage.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:16

Two success. Starzind, you can spot him hiding among some vases. The motherfucker. Uh Chris look like in Illyria and Kala. You don't see Yoda, but you do see other things in the archives that could help you.

SPEAKER_10 1:53:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:31

Chris, is there anything that you think would be able to help you? Any sort of thing that a force thinger that that may be in the archive somewhere that you think could be useful?

SPEAKER_08 1:53:42

Can I is is there something that can may maybe sense who is around me? So that I can so that we can find uh find out maybe where he's hiding?

SPEAKER_04 1:53:52

The little like magic eye um to look through. On one of the shelves, there is an artifact called uh there's a little tag that calls it the eyes of La Casa. And it is a pair of goggles. And it's like, well, it's dark in here. So you can slip on those goggles and you can see as if it is day, and everything seems like extra bright, all the colors seem extra saturated, everything is like it's very easy to discern one thing from another. So putting these goggles on, you flip them on, and you can see this like he's not this bright in without the goggles, but with the goggles on, this almost like like forest green, glowing green thing hiding on a shelf. Uh Illyria.

SPEAKER_08 1:54:38

I uh should I give a point and be like, hey, it's up there?

SPEAKER_04 1:54:42

Is there anything you would want to?

SPEAKER_06 1:54:44

With one advantage? I can't think of anything.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:49

Oh, what if there was like a uh a um automatic do you want to draw him out? There are a couple of you have seen him now.

SPEAKER_08 1:54:56

I I I point at him.

SPEAKER_10 1:54:57

Oh yeah, just right there. Find a bag of MMs. You just leave a little trail on the ground that will come right to you!

SPEAKER_07 1:55:05

Perfect.

SPEAKER_10 1:55:06

Yoda can't resist him. You know this. Do you want to No, it's it's Reese's pieces, right? Oh, it is Reese's pieces, shit!

SPEAKER_07 1:55:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:55:16

Well, he's not literally E.T. Yoda loves MMs. E.T. loves Reese's pieces. Obviously, they're all not all vomits are the same.

SPEAKER_08 1:55:26

And Mac loves McDonald's. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:28

And Marfilump loves Pepsi.

SPEAKER_10 1:55:32

All horrible aliens love some kind of fast food.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:36

You can find a rock. Big Mac he goes, oh. Uh, if you don't want to find anything, you could just uh get a blue. You could just kind of notice what's going on.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:48

Can I use my advantage to heal myself? Yes. In some way.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:52

Yeah, if you want to heal yourself instead, you can.

SPEAKER_10 1:55:54

Maybe you can find some magical Jedi potion that'll heal all your wound.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:58

Can I use medicine on myself? Or only on other people?

SPEAKER_04 1:56:02

I think uh in this case, you would probably only have time to do a stim.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:06

Okay, I'll use my last stim pack. Wait, no, I want to use up my clone. Stim me, baby.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:12

Stim yourself?

SPEAKER_10 1:56:14

Okay. This would be fucking stupid. And I don't think it would be in the Jedi. As it should be. However, is there such a thing as an anti-gravity grenade that we could just throw at Yoda and make him float up into the air like a rotating chicken prime for the shooting?

SPEAKER_04 1:56:30

Um, not in the Jedi archives. There isn't such a thing easily available on the shelves. However, there is a lightsaber rifle.

SPEAKER_10 1:56:37

Oh, I did pick up Plo Koon's lightsaber. Could have picked up Kiatie Mundy's and Shack T's as we went.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:42

It is the kind of, well, I don't think you would have time to do that, but the clones, they did loot the lightsabers from those other Jedi. Uh, this is a rifle that uses and there is a slot in the top where you can slam a lightsaber in, shoot a beam of lightsaber, and then it burns out the saber.

SPEAKER_10 1:56:58

I mean, I can load up uh Plocoons first, and then after that shot just be like to the clones, just like saber me! Don't saber me, but you know, reload!

SPEAKER_04 1:57:11

Alright, so you can uh pick up the the the rifle, slam a lightsaber into it. Yeah. And you guys have found Yoda now.

SPEAKER_10 1:57:19

Yeah, Chris Point ammo to us. Can I try to shoot him with a lightsaber?

SPEAKER_04 1:57:28

Uh yeah, so that is gonna be he's at short range. You can spot him, it is kind of dark in there. Uh you don't have your multi-optic sight on this one, so you are gonna take a black for the darkness. Uh, but that is gonna be against two red and a purple.

SPEAKER_10 1:57:44

Two red and a purple. Take two strain, aim twice. Because I don't have my accurate on this either. And what do we have for Destiny? You have one. I'm not gonna flip it. I'm sure it'll be fine. Three failures, five advantage. Maybe just I'll just, you know, get him out of hiding at least.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:01

Yeah, he's out of hiding. You can blast this thing. You're not used to the kickback, you're not used to anything about this weapon, but you can just like car through the shell. It comes cracking down, not hiding anymore. He's he kinda has to tumble and roll.

SPEAKER_10 1:58:17

Scramble you little frog!

SPEAKER_04 1:58:19

He's right there.

SPEAKER_10 1:58:20

I don't say that.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:21

Uh, Chris Illyria Starzan.

SPEAKER_10 1:58:23

I can try striping at him again. Yeah, Starzan's so burly.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:26

Uh, that is gonna be two reds and two purples. One success, two advantage. Nice. So, Starzan, how do you kill Yoda?

SPEAKER_00 1:58:36

Ooh my god.

SPEAKER_07 1:58:39

Do cut up figure Muppet head? Uh, I'm I'm figuring it just kinda like, you know, skewer him, right? He's a puppet. You get the hole of the button.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:50

So you like come up, swipe, and just like lift him up on your sword.

SPEAKER_07 1:58:54

Yeah. Throw him off the sword afterwards, fling him across the room.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:58

Just completely undignified.

SPEAKER_07 1:59:01

Ended this.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:05

We are heroes! You can quip that you are heroes. The dust settles, the archives are secured. Anakin. Returns, uh, he he enters, he's got Jexel with him, he's kind of like holding him up with his like his one arm. Anakin cares about the clones.

SPEAKER_10 1:59:26

Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah, he does.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:28

And he looks at Yoda and he seems like not sad, but like seeing like dead Yoda like lying on the ground with like like cut hole from the top, hole from the bottom, it is it's very disconcerting.

SPEAKER_07 1:59:47

Oh yeah. He fought hard.

SPEAKER_08 1:59:49

I mean, this whole episode's been disconcerning, so I get I get that completely.

SPEAKER_10 1:59:54

Yeah, you kind of look like you've seen a bunch of ghosts.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:57

Well, it's just uh I mean Yoda was old, but I don't think any of us ever expected to ever see him kick it.

SPEAKER_09 2:00:02

It's true.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:03

It's because we have rocking beats that people kick off too. And to think this whole time he was planning to betray the republic.

SPEAKER_08 2:00:10

Uh, terrible trag a terrible tragedy.

SPEAKER_10 2:00:15

We did what we had to do for the republic, Anakin. We did the right thing.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:20

And you hear a voice from the entrance to the archives that says And of course you did! You can turn and see uh Chancellor Palpatine flanked by several clone troopers. Chancellor Palpatine, what are you doing here? When I had received word that you had secured the temple, I made sure to come with complete haste to see the event for myself. Well, this is all that I have seen is the aftermath of this unfortunate carnage. I've never been in this part of the Jedi Temple. I have visited from time to time, of course, in official capacities, but it's a shame that such a wondrous building was held in the grip of these traitors for so long.

SPEAKER_10 2:01:05

Yeah, we found like some real cool shit in the basement we were coming up too.

SPEAKER_04 2:01:09

And of course, it will all be studied and catalogued, and it will be returned to its rightful place as the property of the Republic, not of a single religion that has dictated too much of our society's history.

SPEAKER_08 2:01:26

As is the uh empirical way.

SPEAKER_10 2:01:29

High fives, everyone!

SPEAKER_04 2:01:31

Freeze frame high five! And you have no reason to think that it would be otherwise, but Palpatine looks fine. He doesn't look melty at all.

SPEAKER_10 2:01:40

Oh, Grandpa Palps! Everything looks fine.

SPEAKER_08 2:01:44

Uh uh Anakin didn't become Darth. Uh why swing better people out of these people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 2:01:51

Well, because I think Palpatine still had like his glamour that he would put on for company, you know. So maybe he's just glamoured with us.

SPEAKER_08 2:02:00

I mean, we we I mean, ever anybody e everybody puts up makeup when they are really needing something.

SPEAKER_10 2:02:06

Yeah. Right, guys, everybody does that.

SPEAKER_08 2:02:09

Right.

SPEAKER_10 2:02:10

Right?

SPEAKER_08 2:02:11

Is it just me or is it somebody else?

SPEAKER_10 2:02:13

Well, uh, we're happy to be of service to the Republic.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:16

And I hope you can continue to be. Would the five of you, Master Skywalker, of course, be willing to perhaps set things right?

SPEAKER_10 2:02:27

In uh what way?

SPEAKER_04 2:02:28

Well, the Jedi have obviously strayed from their noble fruits, and who knows how many Jedi have been a part of this plan or unduly influenced by a 900-year-old master, and what were his plans, and I could go on, but I feel as if the Jedi must be built up again from the beginning. Would you be willing to join with Anakin and create a new order of knights that doesn't seek to tame the force and restrict it, but to serve the people of the galaxy with all of the passion and vitality that your beating hearts can muster.

SPEAKER_08 2:03:10

This makes me feel as proud as I've ever uh felt before because I'm like, wait a second, does my life actually begin to have purpose now?

SPEAKER_10 2:03:21

I hear him say the passion thing, and I'm just like, yeah! Yeah! That sounds good! Say that again.

SPEAKER_08 2:03:29

I feel like it's passionate. I feel I feel it's a passion. I I I I I feel like we can uh help you with this uh Good, good.

SPEAKER_04 2:03:39

Now, I know the hour's late, but I would ask you to come to the Senate chambers bright and early in the morning. Get yourselves cleaned up as much as you can.

SPEAKER_08 2:03:50

We are gonna have a good rest.

SPEAKER_04 2:03:52

We will have a very exciting announcement.

SPEAKER_08 2:03:54

Ladies and gentlemen, the new Avengers.

SPEAKER_09 2:03:57

Do we go home? Do we go to bed? Well, can you? We're so tired!

SPEAKER_04 2:04:02

Because, like, it's probably like 3-4 in the morning by now. Uh the Senate session begins at 8. Oh god. Kala, you're probably hungover.

SPEAKER_10 2:04:13

Yeah, I got I I'm I'm on my Oh man, I never did get a UC impact. I just forgot to use it the entire time.

SPEAKER_08 2:04:21

It's okay, you got it for next time.

SPEAKER_10 2:04:22

I mean, I already took it, the dose is gone. That was just for my own pleasure.

SPEAKER_04 2:04:28

Okay, we go there in the morning. You can go there in the morning, your armor laundered and cleaned in the night. And when you arrive, Anakin is there, and he seems like excited, but also like a little um his mind seems to be elsewhere.

SPEAKER_10 2:04:51

Tired and tired but wired. You get the f- Give me a actually We're all running on that energy.

SPEAKER_04 2:04:57

Uh actually give me a perception.

SPEAKER_10 2:05:00

This is to see if he took someone home to eat their pussy.

SPEAKER_04 2:05:04

Give me a, yeah, it'll be a two red and a purple perception. Symphtable.

SPEAKER_08 2:05:10

Two red and a purple perception.

SPEAKER_06 2:05:12

Three thread.

SPEAKER_08 2:05:14

What one failure, one threat, and a despair.

SPEAKER_05 2:05:17

I got two advantage and a despair.

unknown 2:05:21

Save the best for last.

SPEAKER_04 2:05:23

Uh two failures, three advantages.

SPEAKER_10 2:05:25

Anakin, did you take someone home to eat a pussy?

SPEAKER_04 2:05:28

Yeah, you can ask him, Anakin, did you take someone home to eat their pussy?

SPEAKER_05 2:05:33

But why did?

SPEAKER_04 2:05:34

His face goes white. How did you know? And he says, I don't want to talk about it. In a s in a way that makes him seem as if he is about to become very divorced.

SPEAKER_09 2:05:49

Oh no, no!

SPEAKER_08 2:05:52

Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 2:05:53

Wait, like, although, you know, he's cleaned up as much as you guys are, but he does kind of look like he slept in a car.

SPEAKER_08 2:06:03

To become very divorced? Are we?

SPEAKER_10 2:06:06

Padme never got pregnant. She never would have been killed on Mustafar. Anakin wasn't there to kill her. Padme's alive.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:16

This whole thing.

SPEAKER_10 2:06:17

But uh, you know, bitches be crazy.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:21

Z bitches, they be crazy. And um Anakin, he says, Well, okay, let's change the subject.

SPEAKER_10 2:06:28

Uh let's change the subject. Let's change the subject.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:33

We don't have time to do that. Calbatine would like us to uh present a unified uh front with this uh new thing that we're doing. So he's asked me to give you these, and he holds out a little box that he opens, and inside are four identical lightsabers. I know you've got your own, but uh he'd like you to, at least in public, wear and display these as a symbol of our uh unity for uh the good of all, I guess.

SPEAKER_08 2:07:00

Uh that makes uh I guess that makes sense. Everybody Okay. Uh uh police have their standard issue uh weapons. We should have our own standard issue lightsabers.

SPEAKER_10 2:07:13

Yeah, Anakin, you don't seem super jazzed about this.

SPEAKER_04 2:07:16

Well, you know, it's fine. I uh I built my own. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 2:07:22

I mean we all built our own.

SPEAKER_08 2:07:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:07:23

We all built our own.

SPEAKER_08 2:07:24

I mean, you could still you could still do the du dual-wielding lightsabers. I mean, other people can do it better than me. I'm terrible as this lightsaber. Yeah, I plan on it.

SPEAKER_10 2:07:33

It's it's you know, it's ceremonial. It's like how the space mounties always have to like ride the horses and wear the red outfits, but like only if they're in parades.

SPEAKER_04 2:07:41

Well, I don't know if we're gonna be riding any horses, but um Sounds like he's about to start a speech, so we better get into position.

SPEAKER_10 2:07:47

Let's get into position.

SPEAKER_04 2:07:49

So you can enter one of those little uh Senate pods and kind of listen and wait for your cue. And you hear Palpatine starting to give this speech. And he says, Citizens of the Civilized Galaxy, on this day we mark a transition. For a thousand years, the Republic stood as the crowning achievement of civilized beings. But there were those who would set us against one another, and we took up arms to defend our way of life against the separatists. In doing so, we never suspected that the greatest threat came from within. The Jedi and some within our own Senate had conspired to create the shadow of separatism using one of their own as the enemy's leader. They had hoped to grind the republic into ruin, but the hatred in their hearts could not be hidden forever.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:49

At last, there came a day when the enemies showed their true natures. The Jedi hoped to unleash their destructive power against the Republic by assassinating the head of government and usurping control of the clone army. The Jedi Rebellion was our final test. It was the last grasp of the forces of darkness. Now we have left that darkness behind us forever, and a new day has begun. It is morning in the Republic. Never again will we be divided. Never again will sector turn against sector, planet turn against planet, sibling against sibling. We are one nation, indivisible. To ensure that we will always stand together, that we will always speak with a single voice and act with a single hand, the Republic must change. We must evolve, we must grow. We have become an empire in fact. Let us become an empire in name as well. We are the first Galactic Empire! We are an empire that will continue to be ruled by this august body. We are an empire that will never return to the political maneuvering and corruption that have wounded us so deeply. We are an empire that will be directed by a single sovereign chosen for life. We are an empire ruled by the majority, an empire ruled by a new constitution, an empire of laws, not of politicians, an empire devoted to the preservation of a just society, of a safe and secure society. We are an empire that will stand 10,000 years, protected not by the Jedi of old, but by the warriors of a new dawn, by those who remain steadfast in the face of corruption, the age of the Jedi is over, and this morning we usher in a new era, heralded by my Imperial Knight!

SPEAKER_04 2:11:12

The podium rises. Anakin brandishes his new lightsaber, kinda nods for you, turns it on, and in unison, five red blades illuminate the Senate chamber of the Galactic Empire.

SPEAKER_10 2:11:28

Are we the baddies?

SPEAKER_04 2:11:30

You'll find out next season of Star Wars Empire Wreckers! This episode of Empire Wreckers is brought to you by our top patrons, Alphabros 522, David B, Eric Charles Perazzo, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Suki Nintendo, Thomas Davidson, and Vaginator.