Empire Wreckers
A Star Wars actual play podcast using the Fantasy Flight Games system. Each 3-season campaign follows a group of intergalactic misfits as they try their best to save the galaxy... or destroy it.
Empire Wreckers
S14E01 - Empire State of Mind.
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Long live the Emperor! After decades of corruption and undue influence from the Jedi cult, the Galactic Republic has been abolished and replaced with the First Galactic Empire.
Aided by the Empire's Stormtroopers, the newly christened Imperial Knights have spent the past year hunting down the remaining Jedi and rooting out Separatist holdouts.
Led by the powerful Anakin Skywalker, the knights have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to the new Empire, and now begin the work of building their forces to counter any new threats that may arise....
Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Wreckers, the Star Wars actual play podcast that knows that moldy bread is just a way to get penicillin. Who's ready to be healthy today?
SPEAKER_07Kellisette's ready to be feeling healthy. The Balasar Seeker, hunter slash false sensitive outcast, now free of the shackles of Jedi morality surrounding drug use is feeling healthier than ever, baby.
SPEAKER_05Hello, Jamapel uh Chris Sant. I'm a very healthy Farline. I've been called mystical and uh good in an advisory capacity, and uh uh you could put all your drugs in me, and uh I am so full that nothing will get past to kill me.
SPEAKER_07Like Mr. Burns.
SPEAKER_05Like Mr. Burns.
SPEAKER_06Uh I am Starzan, the conflicted warrior. Oh yeah. Starzan comes from the old planet of Elgar Rice, where he was the ruler of like his father before him, and Starzan's father before him, and Starzan's father before him. Now he has joined the Jedi. Although the Jedi have been defeated by Starzan in kind of a weird moment for him now. Now Starzan is not sure how to proceed in the path of darkness.
SPEAKER_03And Illyria, the Chis Consular Healer, is none too pleased about the current price of space kombucha.
SPEAKER_02And if you want to learn about drinking space kombucha, eating moldy bread, and survivorship bias, why don't you come along with us to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in Star Wars? Long live the Emperor! After decades of corruption and undue influence from the cult of the Jedi, the Galactic Republic has been abolished and replaced with the first Galactic Empire. In aided by the Empire's stormtroopers, the newly christened Imperial Knights have spent the last year hunting down the remaining Jedi and rooting out separatist holdouts. Led by the powerful Anakin Skywalker, the Knights have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to the new Empire, and now begin the work of building their forces to counter any new threats that may arise.
SPEAKER_05No, you're the good guys. That's what all the history books say.
SPEAKER_06Tarzan wonders who the real bad guys are.
SPEAKER_02Well, the real bad guys are all the people you kill. Yeah, obviously.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So you have uh now, after after a year, kind of had a chance to have settled in and sort of become not necessarily celebrities, but you are kind of known entities now as the Imperial Knights. Um, and each of you in particular may have attracted a little bit of additional attention.
SPEAKER_07Do we have fans?
SPEAKER_02Well, um, so Chris. That's me. As you mentioned, you are a Falline. The planet Falline was allied with the Separatists during the early stages of the Clone War, but was captured by the Republic and suffered a pretty devastating retaliatory attack from General Grievous. So over the past year, your family, uh, the Sont family has reached out to you. They are very influential on Falline. You are a rich Nepo baby. That's me. And due to your even higher profile status now, uh, your family over the past year has asked you if there's anything that you could do to help rebuild the planet. They have uh intimated that perhaps, you know, you they could do something for you. Uh the Black Sun Crime Syndicate is uh deeply entrenched into the uh affairs of folly politics. So if you uh wanted a little bit of under-the-table help, that may be what they are offering. Would you would you have uh tried to help them?
SPEAKER_05I think I would have. I would have um made sure that they know that it was me that was helping them with all of my ax excessive uh privilege that I have that I have here. But uh yeah, no, I absolutely I think I absolutely would have helped them out.
SPEAKER_02So if you if you kind of uh pass this along, pass this request along, you have, of course, your friends in the ISB. You've got Gray and you've got all of the various people that you know. You've got uh Zinn, who was working in the Republic now Imperial Senate. Uh how how are things going there?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, are you still are you still dating? Are you still a situation ship?
SPEAKER_05I I I feel I feel like after how how long has it been again since the last episode? Oh, I I feel like by uh by then we would have uh gotten uh gotten together and then broken up and then gotten back together and back to situational ship.
SPEAKER_02So if it's complex. So if there is any like tabloid romance in the Imperial Knights, you're the guy who it's about. I mean, look at me.
SPEAKER_07I threw.
SPEAKER_05Look at my face, look at how beautiful my face is.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, who the fuck else are they gonna be reporting on, Illyria?
SPEAKER_02So there there is a little bit of a wrinkle, though, um, with helping uh your family and helping your world. So over the last year, if you did help them, they're off the Empire's offer to assist in the reconstruction of Falline is in exchange for constructing a scientific research outpost on the planet uh to study and contain various biological weapons. That would also mean that the planet uh of course has to be under Imperial blockade because they can't let that stuff get out.
SPEAKER_05I feel like I don't see any problem with that currently. Until somebody until somebody explains it to me, I'm very surface level with everything.
SPEAKER_07Okay, but what if one of the biological weapons that they specifically were st like studying on your planet was the Falline pheromones and they were trying to figure out how to make love bombs? The gay bombs literally love bombing people.
SPEAKER_05Has anybody told me about this? No? Then I don't give a shit.
SPEAKER_02Not my problem. So the Empire uh is gonna help out Falline in exchange for, you know, building a base there, and maybe you'll be able to call upon some uh additional help. Maybe if any underworld stuff comes up, uh you may be able to uh throw your name around with Black Sun.
SPEAKER_05The Fa the Fallen are uh uh great uh they are great helpers, and they are uh since I'm a Falene, they can't help be incredible.
SPEAKER_02This is one Falline who's on the rise.
SPEAKER_05Oh boy.
SPEAKER_02So uh even though even though Chris is kind of the subject of tabloid intrigue here and there, Starzan did not escape uh interest.
SPEAKER_07So strapping and full of seed.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so of course, as one of one of the Imperial Knights, of course, there would be a lot of eyes on you and your tendency to not wear a shirt. Um and a a planet full of uh virile, muscular, human men and women is a powerful propaganda tool for the Empire.
SPEAKER_07Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_02And uh Edgar Rice's position on the edge of the unknown regions is a perfect strategic location for the Empire to maybe set up an outpost and observe into the unknown regions. Uh yeah. And Edgaris was officially brought into the Empire a few months ago. And while Starzana does continue to rule the home world, the planet does need representation in the Imperial Senate. Since you are the person who's kind of spent the most time off of Egarice. Uh, your planet has come to you to make that decision.
SPEAKER_01Ambassador Starzan.
SPEAKER_02Well, they're they're giving you two options, because they're because you you're busy with the Imperial Knights, but they've got two options for you to sort of decide who you want to represent the planet. Oh, okay. Uh so the first option is your Uncle Keldor. Skilled, uh, but very power-hungry political maneuverer. He would be great in the political arena, but um, you know how uncles tend to be in these sorts of monarchies.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02And there's also uh a respected general on your world named Duncan, who trained both you and Starzana to fight during your childhood. He's more of a warrior than a diplomat, uh, and he might not really be as prepared to navigate like political intrigue.
SPEAKER_03Duncan, Florida.
SPEAKER_02Whoever you choose, they're gonna be taken away from Egarice, which is gonna mean that, like, Eggaris, you guys like to fight. That's that's we do. Yeah. Uh so there are some pretty serious goings on. Uh Kaldor, your uncle, is currently negotiating with the militaristic denizens of Gijo, that your planet has been at war with. Potentially there could be some peace there, and Duncan has been leading in the defense against the Gobbits, a mysterious race of cyborgs who have begun infiltrating your planet. So one of those two, one of those two leaders is gonna have to leave the planet, which may leave your world a little bit more vulnerable.
SPEAKER_07Is your uncle Keldor secretly a Keldor?
SPEAKER_02No, he's a human.
SPEAKER_01Secretly! I feel like I'm gonna have to say Keldor. Bloodlines are a big deal. Duncan feels like, you know, cyborgs taking over Edgar Ice sounds terrible.
SPEAKER_05You're mixing genres now. I keep hearing Edgar Wright.
SPEAKER_00I don't know if you guys have done it.
SPEAKER_01Can you can you imagine, you know, a character from Edgar Ice in a sci-fi setting? Ridiculous. Wacky. Cyborgs? No. Um Yeah, uh, my uncle will make a good uh diplomat.
SPEAKER_02Get him out of everyone's hair, someone in the family then who's sort of on Coruscant with you, and maybe uh if there's any sensitive political things, he could be somebody that you could reach out to. Yeah, there you go.
SPEAKER_01Not have two hotheads on this planet.
SPEAKER_07That'd be crazy. Does your uncle also speak in third person exclusively? Is that like is that an Eggar Rice thing?
SPEAKER_01Can I uh yes. Could I have also, when I was on Edgar Rice, picked up my beloved pet, my animal bond?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you c y there may there there is room for animals in the now uh not as densely populated uh Imperial Knights Temple.
SPEAKER_01I I don't I don't know what species, but it has to be some sort of cat thing because his name is Panth his name is Panthar.
SPEAKER_07Panth!
SPEAKER_01Excellent. I have purchased Animal Bond at long last.
SPEAKER_02Uh what so Panthers you would have uh over the past year when you were dealing with uh all of this family stuff returned to your Returned to your home. Now let's let's have you roll a because this Panth star creature.
SPEAKER_05This is fun to say. I I completely get that.
SPEAKER_02Um is it a cub or is it an older creature?
SPEAKER_01Um I kind of want it to be get bigger so it can eventually be. Yeah, silhouette one. It's half my fourth reading.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so silhouette one, like that's the size of a person, so that could be like not big enough to ride yet, but like the size of a like a large dog. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Juvenile cat.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, a juvie cat.
SPEAKER_05Old enough to know better, young enough to not care.
SPEAKER_02Since you are sort of trained in this, this is something that presumably all starzans uh have animal companions, so let you add a blue onto this, but to see how strong your bond with this thing is, give me a two-purple survival for your animal handling. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we've been preparing for me for you for him this whole time. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, and I haven't been preparing for you. What about it? Too successful, an advantage. Ooh, okay.
SPEAKER_02So your bond with this creature is pretty strong. So this is its its name is Panther. Yes. What is it? What does it look like? What is its personality? Is it is it brave or is it kind of does it cringe?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he is he's he's a he's a warrior. He's been trained in the people. He's um I think of personality. A prankster? A little scamp as it is.
SPEAKER_05A little scamp, yeah. A little A little stinker. Hell yeah, dog.
SPEAKER_01And uh what he looks like, um I'm thinking like basically a regular-looking panther, but with some sort of weird characteristic. Maybe it also has glowing green ears. Like a it's got a huge cock. Weird.
SPEAKER_07Also has to wear a chastity.
SPEAKER_01It's from Edgar Rice, of course it does. Is it? What kind of alien is it? What kind of animal animal? It's a panther. It's like a panther but weird looking.
SPEAKER_02Oh, does he have like purple glowing lines on him, like a Black Panther suit when he gets hit? I like that. He can absorb kinetic energy.
SPEAKER_01But green, because he has the power of the starroid. Yeah. Have you been injecting your cat with starroids? No.
SPEAKER_05It becomes naturally.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you do.
SPEAKER_02Its veins are glowing green. Is it supposed to do that?
SPEAKER_07Are there glowing lines on the on the Panth star's monster cock? Oh god.
SPEAKER_05Only AO3 knows the answer.
SPEAKER_01And um, I don't know, like a barbed tail or something.
SPEAKER_02So uh so Starz Anne's shacked up with a cat, uh Chris also getting pussy regularly. Kala. Hey. So one of the things that you weren't able to learn about Doc when you were uh still just with the service core was where you came from, who your parents were, what that whole your your personal records were sealed and they remained that way. Yeah. But now that you're running the place, everyone's permanent records are uh open for your perusal.
SPEAKER_05Ooh.
SPEAKER_02So what you would have learned is that as a baby, as you know, you were discovered by the seeker and Yakiro. Uh she found you on the planet Kijimi, which is a uh pirate's haven. Her parents' freighter. Your parents' freighter had run out of fuel, um, and they were trying to sell you for gas money.
SPEAKER_03Oh the the Jedi Seeker.
SPEAKER_05How much how much were you worth?
SPEAKER_03I am not going to commit this to memory and use it against you.
SPEAKER_07I probably won't tell you.
SPEAKER_03It's open for anyone to read, didn't you say?
SPEAKER_07Amen. How how much how much what were they asking for me out of curiosity? Sick. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But there's uh nothing in the books about who your biological father was. At the time of your purchase, your mother was traveling with an accomplice, uh, a man named Elias Handel. Uh there is a mugshot of him in there.
SPEAKER_07It's definitely a real name.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Scruffy-looking human guy. Um, he's got like notable features. It says he's got the burn scar of a neuronic lash around his neck.
SPEAKER_01Ooh.
SPEAKER_02Um, and if you look through other records that the Jedi were keeping about just kind of keeping tabs on your mother because it's like, sold a baby, need to make sure she doesn't like come back and like try and extort the Jedi.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, but lucky for the Jedi, not long after your mother sold you, uh, her arrest records stopped. The last one was followed by an autopsy report. Oh, lucky, oh no. She was found dead in her freighter at an outer rim spaceport, slumped in the pilot seat after an overdose. Hey, we're your family now. Yeah, more drugs were found in the ship's cargo compartments, and if you continue looking through these records, you would see that apparently her detors did not learn about this, as the bounty hunters guild still has opened bounties for her capture from the huts and the pikes, uh, from all of the uh spice that she stole from them. Why don't you uh why don't you give me a perception here to see what else you can find?
SPEAKER_07Okay, what kind of perception?
SPEAKER_02Uh you would have had a year to do this, but you would still have to like dedicate uh some effort to it. So give me a three purple and a blue. One success, one threat. Okay. You can obviously your mother was some kind of smuggler, and it seems like your mother had a bit of a pump and dump scheme going on. Cause like she was generally arrested with a partner or an accomplice, but it was never the same person twice. Even even Elias Handel didn't wasn't long for this world, just kind of disappeared. But um this doesn't mean that uh the problems of your mother are gone, that may be the threat here, because what you began to notice, all of your mother's accomplices had the same burn scar around their neck. Oh so either your mother ran with a very specific crowd, or My mother was a freak. Or her friend was a shapeshifter who has to this date not been arrested. And Illyria, uh, so your records were also unavailable back when you were just some scamp. But now you are no longer a scamp, so you can unlock those as well. From what records the Jedi have, seems that your mother was a chis skywalker who, when her abilities began to fade as she uh grew up, she tried figuring out a way to restore her power, and she'd heard these rumors about wizards who lived outside the ascendancy, so she and her husband traveled to the Republic and kind of sought the aid of the Jedi. And by the time your parents got to Coruscant, your mother was pregnant, and the Jedi kind of like let them live in the temple, taught your mother some basic meditation techniques, um, in ex and just sort of like let her hang out. Obviously, she was too old to be a Jedi, um, but they sort of took care of her in exchange for just kind of learning more about the chist, because your people are very uncommon in this area of the galaxy. And when you were born, the Jedi have it recorded that your parents actually asked the Jedi to train you, and they accepted that it would come at the cost of never seeing you again. Oh, however, the Jedi Temple records also say that after your parents left, the Jedi found that several odd-looking listening devices had been planted throughout the temple in areas that your parents had been allowed to access, and some areas that they had not been allowed to access. Oh. By the time the Jedi forward the information to the SBI and ask them to be kind of brought in for questioning, uh, it seems your parents just totally disappeared off the face of the map. And the records on your file uh contain a note about sort of the suspicious circumstances, about your parents, about them potentially being some sort of spy. And there is a mention that the bond between a parent and a child can persist across vast distances, and that anyone who attempts to train you should uh take care because somebody else might be watching or listening.
SPEAKER_05Oh, that's actually kind of sweet.
SPEAKER_03They did care.
SPEAKER_07I mean, they still saw it.
SPEAKER_03Or were using me to spy.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. So you're like if uh you're like that episode of Recess where Spinelli lied and said that her parents were spies to seem more cool, and then at the end it turns out they really were spies. You're our Spinelli name.
SPEAKER_05Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_02I don't know why that's like the one episode of Recess I really remember. In the episode of Recess, was there a subplot where nobody would tutor Spinelli because her parents were spies?
SPEAKER_07Um, no, I think that's because Spinelli was a troublemaker. So Elyria's kind of veered off the path there. Sorry, you don't gotta be Spinelli anymore.
SPEAKER_02So so, Chris, your your world is being quote unquote helped. Starzan, uh, your world is being welcomed into the Empire. Your uncle is now uh representative of your world in the Senate. Cala.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Your mom's uh criminal record is still uh out there. Uh the huts and the pikes still still wander, and her accomplice, quote unquote, uh seems to have disappeared shortly after she overdosed. And glad that all. Illyria, your your parents uh who Who knows what they're up to? Maybe they're watching and listening right now.
SPEAKER_03Oh god, they implanted a listening device into my brain. Oh, maybe. Don't say that.
SPEAKER_05Is that something that could happen? They're kidding backing on your all your four Skype calls.
SPEAKER_07Is that why you're weird? You've had a br a chip in your brain interfering with your social development.
SPEAKER_05Is that why you're weird? Is that what's wrong with you? We want to do an odd topsy before you're.
SPEAKER_03I don't like this because it's too close to my own childhood. You say an odd topsy? Is that why you're weird, you freak? Nobody likes you. Did it stunt your adult development to being bullied for years?
SPEAKER_07You're too close to home.
SPEAKER_03I'm normal now.
SPEAKER_05I'm normal now. Yeah, it's been a year you know.
SPEAKER_02So you've had plenty of time to get normal. And uh so you've kind of had the the run of the place. Uh the night temple has been pretty empty. Only a handful of Jedi actually volunteered to join the Imperial Knights, and only a small number of them have actually returned from ISB deprogramming so far.
SPEAKER_07Um one of What do they like when they come back?
SPEAKER_02Well, uh one of them, one of the sort of the the guy the next level down from U4 and Anakin is a former temple guard who actually when he saw what was happening, he was actually the guy who opened the door for Anakin and the clones to come in. So he was a he was a pretty quick convert.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_02Uh he's uh he's an Utapound man, his name is Skasi Nosaj. And he's got that sock head. And he's kind of been the uh administrator, I guess you could say. Like he's doing most of the sort of day-to-day wrangling and uh administrative work that kind of allows you to make the high-level decisions and go on the important missions. And another resident of the temple is not an Imperial Knight, not a Jedi, uh, but a lay person. Uh, Professor Renala, who has basically been the person who's been in charge of just going through and see and just trying to figure out everything that's in the archives.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, because I guess she also had uh she was newly force awoken.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. She may have been doing some uh some training while she's been there. But uh one day she does kind of ring up to the council chambers and she asks you uh to come down to the archives.
SPEAKER_07Ooh. Do we just hang out in the council chambers all day like we got nothing better to do? I mean you can you can watch We're like the Justice Gang.
SPEAKER_02You can watch Pant Star do some like cool backflips and stuff. There's a lot of room in there.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, we're all hanging out in the if we're all hanging out in the council chamber taking bong riffs when she radios us. Yep, yep, yep, yep.
SPEAKER_02It'll be right there in all uh Anakin mostly like stands in he always goes to like the same spot and he like stares out the window like he's got telescope eyes. He's always looking. You don't know what he's looking at, but he's always like looking at the same thing.
SPEAKER_05Do you think he's pondering the uh ambivalence of life and uh the meaninglessness of it uh of how it can feel sometimes?
SPEAKER_07Is Anakin very divorced now? Would we know?
SPEAKER_02Uh well the direction that he's looking is uh the direction uh you would be familiar with it because he's always staring off in the direction of the uh the Senate apartment buildings.
SPEAKER_07Is Padme still alive? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I don't know why she wouldn't be.
SPEAKER_05That's fair.
SPEAKER_07That's fair. Padme's still alive, and I know at the end of the uh last episode, Anakin had the vibe of someone who is about to be very divorced, so I'm wondering if Anakin is very divorced. Anakin's Anakin's very single. Ooh, very divorced. Okay. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_05I do appreciate that. How this campaign is a very what if Star Wars uh kind of was there a prenup?
SPEAKER_02I don't think there would have been a prenup because he had to keep that thing pretty hush-hush. Yeah. Also, he's a monk, he doesn't own anything.
SPEAKER_01He's gonna take half her robe to protect her. Yeah, she's gonna take half her stuff. She's loaded.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. Yeah, for some reason Anakin started coming in wearing some very elaborate gowns.
SPEAKER_03I was gonna say he took half herbe.
SPEAKER_02Because that's the thing. Um, technically, uh Artu was her robot.
SPEAKER_07So Oh no, did she take Artu in the divorce?
SPEAKER_02So another of the more annoying additions to the Night Temple has been uh a golden protocol droid that is uh fairly fussy and you don't like to hang around with unless you really have to.
SPEAKER_05Is okay. I I I have a question about uh uh about this too here. Is is she like a part of like what okay, what what is uh Padme's role in like the Senate? Or is she just hiding, or what is she doing?
SPEAKER_02Uh well, if she's still a senator, right? Yeah, she's she's just a member of the Imperial Senate. Uh at this point. Is she cool about it? Well, you I mean, it took Mon Mothma like 18 years to break away, so Also, um, is Anakin known as Darth Vader now or no? Uh as far as you know, he does not have any other names. Okay, so it's just Anakin.
SPEAKER_05Uh because it works. Is this Darth Vader? I don't even know, man.
SPEAKER_07No, he doesn't we we majorly effed continuity. Oh, I'm okay with that.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, no, that's I'm I'm trying to get shit straight here.
SPEAKER_07Okay, yeah. Should we uh should we stop uh put put aside our bong and go down to the archives?
SPEAKER_06Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
SPEAKER_02Lay down your bongs, brothers. So uh as you head down, because the archives are a uh pretty uh important location. You don't want people just wandering in, there are uh several stormtroopers that are standing guard outside of the archives that I'll let you pass, and as you enter the main sort of library area, you can see that golden protocol droid is sorting through many piles of those like blue data books that are in those shelves. A lot of them are just like out of the shelves, scattered around, on piles. That pillar you knocked down onto Shack T is still like collapsed. Uh they've buffed Shack T still under it? No, they've buffed out all the Yoda stains.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_07Oh, it's horrible. They've mopped up Shackti's mushed body.
SPEAKER_02The big, the big door at the end is open. You can see into the like the deeper archives rooms in the vaults, and there's like stuff, like she hasn't really been putting stuff back, she's just kind of been taking stuff out and kind of leaving it there and letting sort of the clones do the work of the protection. That's fair. Uh, but when when she she sees you, she shouts, Scassie, they're here! And uh the Powen Knight, Scassie, he comes out as well and he kind of bows to you in deference. And Renal says, Okay, hi.
SPEAKER_07Hey, uh Scassie Vanella.
SPEAKER_02I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be calling you anymore, because uh Sirs, madams, do you care? Uh I mean I don't.
SPEAKER_07You know, well, we're all friends here, right? Right.
SPEAKER_02Well, dinner's at whatever time you say, you guys are running the show.
SPEAKER_05God damn right it is.
SPEAKER_02Uh speaking of what time is dinner today?
SPEAKER_06Uh uh I assume we have like a kitchen or distant! We will decide on someone to make decisions for us.
SPEAKER_07I think we would have like kitchen staff in the temple, wouldn't we?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the the protocol droid comes over and says, Oh, excuse me, excuse me. I mean, it's currently scheduled for 1700 hours.
SPEAKER_07Uh yeah, 1700 hours. Eh, we're on top of it.
SPEAKER_02Then the evening meal is scheduled for 1900 hours.
SPEAKER_071900 hours, there we go, then.
SPEAKER_02And of course we have the midnight snack scheduled for 000 hours. 3PO Bay, we don't have to schedule that. Yes, of course, mistress.
SPEAKER_05Is that is that is that is that uh something that you have to remind Starzan of?
SPEAKER_02I have been tracking his calorie intake to make sure that he maintains the appropriate amount of muscle mass to retain his, as the tabloids say, hot baud.
SPEAKER_05You can imagine his macros. You you can say it. He has physique. What's the Star Wars equivalent of around the clock broccoli and and uh chicken breasts?
SPEAKER_07Spockley and Spockley, Jesus And chicken titties. Spockle and tippy. Porg. Just a bunch of porgs.
SPEAKER_02But Ronaldo says. Anyway, the meals, yeah, okay, I I gotcha. Go to the droid. Um, so we've had some time to go through everything. Things have kind of settled down now. Uh the separatists aren't really causing much trouble anymore. A lot of the leads have kind of gone down. Uh, some of the Jedi that escaped still out there. But uh I was, you know, it's up to your timetable, of course, but I have been noticing some requests for information about whether or not we're gonna start uh training new knights.
SPEAKER_07Oh yeah, we should.
SPEAKER_02Like because like Do you want us to be a teacher?
SPEAKER_07But we were about that from the beginning, because like that was one of the problems with the Jedi, is locking up all the knowledge away from people. Like, you know, freedom of information, freedom of training, freedom of power. We should definitely start training new knights.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. And as I understand things, that is the goal to try and restore things back to the way they originally were, just kind of get rid of all the corruption of the Jedi. But in order to do that, we need a curriculum. And uh I've been looking through the archives and obviously modern Jedi training material, not reliable. So I've been spending some time uh trying to figure out how far back exactly it's safe to go. Anything from the fat past thousand years, I'm thinking that's right out. Uh, that would have been all the stuff that uh was overseen by Yoda or his masters. Obviously, Yoda was a big part of the conspiracy. Uh, the thousand years before that, the Jedi's doctrines were primarily designed for a war against a rival sect. If we go back even further, we've got uh the old Mandalorian wars that would have influenced the Jedi. And before that, there was even a a big civil war between uh a bunch of diff different Jedi groups. And uh, based on my research, it seems that most of the Jedi's notable history seems to be concerned with eliminating various offshoot branches, and seems like a lot of the galaxy's major wars have been due to one group of Jedi splitting off from another and a bunch of people dying.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_02And in many cases, a lot of these old offshoot Jedi branches, uh, they ended up being labeled as something called Sith.
SPEAKER_05What uh I I feel like I've heard the word Sith before. Isn't that just like a bad Jedi? But we we we've heard uh Jedi's before.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, like you say uh a Sith is a bad Jedi, but it's like the Jedi were bad Jedi. It's like that's entirely.
SPEAKER_05In my point of in my point of view, the Jedi were bad.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, and that's why we fucking killed them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's why we fucking killed them. From uh the research that I've done. The Sith is actually just the name of the indigenous peoples of the planet Koriban.
SPEAKER_05Do we know anything about Korban or is that is that a uh uh like abandoned place?
SPEAKER_02Well, nowadays the whole area is off limits. Today it's called Moraband, it's gone through some different names, but it seems that the reason that that Sith name gets applied to so many of these offshoot Jedi branches is because there was a group of exiled Jedi thousands of years ago who sought refuge with the people of that planet, uh, and eventually the the indigenous peoples of Koriban, the Sith, and the Jedi offshoot just kind of became it just kind of became a term to call them. Their teachings don't necessarily line up. Uh other Sith groups that have existed over the years don't necessarily line up with those. And although the Jedi records do unequivocally label the Sith as evil, uh again, there is those ruins that we found on Acablis, and it's clear that the Jedi and Sith teachings aren't entirely incompatible. And many of the ancient heroes who ended these wars uh were Jedi who became Sith and then returned to the Republic. There's people like Revan, you look at Keldroma, the hero of Tython, the list goes on. But if the goal of the Imperial Knights is to try and emulate those ancient heroes from before the corruption, then it would make sense that we don't just seek out Jedi knowledge and Jedi traditions, but we try to find knowledge held by the Sith and other non-Jedi force users out there and synthesize them into something that works.
SPEAKER_05Okay. So what uh uh what are what is the plan? What are we to do?
SPEAKER_02Well, big problem number one, uh the Sith don't exist anymore.
SPEAKER_05We don't know that.
SPEAKER_02That that that no I mean that that's a big problem.
SPEAKER_05I I've We took out odd for uh odds as bad for us.
SPEAKER_02I I've looked through the records, I know that there is this whole thing uh about that it was I think it was part of the Jedi conspiracy. They were saying that uh the Sith were they they were like in control of all the levers of power in the galaxy, they were mysterious behind the scenes in control of any everything, but also it was just two people. Now, I don't know you know what kind of political theory you've all studied, but if you have an imaginary enemy that's both too strong and too weak, well that's a classic tool of fascist ideology. That sounds about threats, yes. So I don't think we can take the Jedi's claims about uh mysterious Sith in control of everything. I don't think we can take that seriously. So Okay. Uh I I'll do some digging, I'll see if I can find any leads into some sort of modern Sith connection. But until then, I may have some other leads, and I hope it's not too presumptuous, but there are five knight masters and there are twelve chairs up there.
SPEAKER_05Would you find some other knight masters, you mean?
SPEAKER_07Well, like Renala, you wanna you wanna come meet?
SPEAKER_02No, not me. I I I'm just But we like you.
SPEAKER_05You seem like good people. Yeah, but I don't want to be in charge of anything. I get you I get what you mean. It's a lot of responsibility. I just like researching. I accidentally became the most important person at work.
SPEAKER_02But what I was going to suggest, if it pleases you, is that perhaps if we could identify perhaps seven more force traditions to bring into the fold.
SPEAKER_07I see, so we have like a little bit of representation from all sides. Although, like, just put this out here, Ranella. I understand you don't want to be in charge, but how is it gonna make you feel if we're bringing in like a new guy and they're immediately a boss? It's like, you know, you you you have someone get promoted above you.
SPEAKER_02Well, I assume you would only bring in the leaders of these other groups.
SPEAKER_07Well, if the groups even have leaders, it might just be like some like it might just be like one person who's left.
SPEAKER_02That's true. There are many uh groups that are very small in number, some that are very uh disparate, many that don't have a traditional power structure. Um and big big thing here, many of these groups were already aware of the Jedi and we're very wary of them. We could teach these groups about democracy. So if you would like to get them to join, we may have to uh convince them it's worth their while.
SPEAKER_05Uh by uh uh and I and I rub my fingers together.
SPEAKER_02It's like, you mean worth their while or Well, different uh different religions all want different things. Different strokes for different folks. I Okay.
SPEAKER_05We can't lead though. I Ooh, a potential a potential lead. The beginning of our armada, of our United Nations! What kind of idea do you have? Well, I've found a group called the Gensarai. And what about the Gensarai, if you don't mind me asking? Who are they?
SPEAKER_02The Gensarai are a group of warriors. Uh their name translates to followers of the hidden truth. Ooh, that sounds like Starzan's kind of people. How dare you! Well, not exactly. Uh Starzan uh goes bereft of clothing, but the Jansarai, although they wield lightsabers, that is not where they put their effort. Um they put most of their combat abilities and their uh, well, personality, I guess, into their armor.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Z decor uh they uh accessorize, you mean.
SPEAKER_02Well, and she brings up a hologram of an armored warrior, head to toe in heavy armor, got a cape, got like spikes coming off, got a helmet, and what you can see of the helmet and even the armor itself, it's this kind of like rust red, and the helmet has three horns on it. One coming out the top, curved back, two curving forward, uh almost like like mandibles, and you can see that it is stylized to resemble uh an animal known as a reek. It's kind of uh rhinososaur creature, or rhinosaurus.
SPEAKER_05Uh okay.
SPEAKER_02These Gensari, they tend to keep to themselves. The Jedi did have some uh records of them. It seems that they tried to blend Jedi and Sith teachings on their own, so perhaps they would be uh willing to join us on this. But during the war, the Jedi did send uh a few Jedi to Well, the language used in the reports is a little vague. What I can ascertain is that the Jedi sent three to the Swarbi system where the Gensarai have their home. Two Jedi came back.
SPEAKER_07What happened to the third? I guess we had to find out.
SPEAKER_02Well, uh, according to the reports, he died.
SPEAKER_07According to the reports.
SPEAKER_05Z that uh uh honestly makes sense. I feel as Zose would be dead, yes.
SPEAKER_07I mean, unless he joined the Gensari, maybe uh Sa was like, hey, these guys are onto something, he like uh changed allegiances.
SPEAKER_02It's possible, but the report uh was verified by both of the other survivors, uh Yelenik Itcla and Obi-Wan Kenobi.
SPEAKER_07Maybe fabricated reports all the time. Like it's if the Jedi are like in the business of covering up other force traditions and one of the people jump ship to go join them, like I feel like they'd be motivated to cover that up.
SPEAKER_05We don't fabricate uh uh we don't fabricate it all the time, and I'm like, shut the fuck up.
SPEAKER_02We all know about that shifty Obi-Wan. That is that is possible, however, the report also indicates that the Jedi killed the Gensarai's leader and two of their elder members.
SPEAKER_07Maybe he was taken as a captive as payment. Or maybe he just died, who knows?
SPEAKER_02Maybe. Now, we are, of course, still searching for the whereabouts of Master Kenobi, Mr. Kenobi, I guess. The little contact I've had with the ISB doesn't have any leads for him, but they do seem to know where to find this Yelenic Itkla character. I don't know what kind of uh philosophy the Gensari have about revenge, but maybe you could trade that information with them. Maybe they would be interested in hunting down one of the people who killed their leader. Maybe they know where Mr. Kenobi can be found.
SPEAKER_05Uh honestly, I feel as though we can have ourselves the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
SPEAKER_07Like we can definitely work with that.
SPEAKER_05That sounds like fun?
SPEAKER_07Who's a Yalenik Itclaw?
SPEAKER_02He was uh one of the Jedi who went to the Jensar. He's a Kamasi fellow.
SPEAKER_07Okay, so he was like uh the one who He was was he the one who went and died or the one who went and came back?
SPEAKER_02He came back. The the dead Jedi was a Jedi by the name of Nija Halcyon.
SPEAKER_07Halcyon, what a name. And it was Nija Halcyon who died?
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_07Okay, thank you.
SPEAKER_02Though if you believe that he might have uh survived and joined the Gensarai. Allegedly died.
SPEAKER_07So go find the uh the Gensarai and see if uh they might be willing to help us for information about Yelenic Itcla.
SPEAKER_02Well, we know where Yelenik is. I was thinking we could use that as a bargaining chip to convince them to to join us.
SPEAKER_07Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And perhaps trade that information if they happen to know where Mr. Kenobi is. Uh I know that Master Skywalker would be very interested in finding him.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, is Anakin having any reaction uh to any of this when Kenobi is mentioned?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like he's he's mostly not paying attention. He's not really the most um interested in books kind of guy. Like he's he's mostly been off like looking is that a is that a cool sword over there?
SPEAKER_05Is this starting to be able to get a little bit of a side?
SPEAKER_02So when he when he when he hears when he hears uh a mention of Obi-Wan, he kind of barges in, he's kind of been off to the side a little bit. And he says, if they know the location of Obi-Wan, then yes, I think I think I should come along on this mission too.
SPEAKER_07Anakin know it can real sweaty again in that way that you do sometimes.
SPEAKER_05Are you sure are you sure you need you need to come with us? Don't you have very important matters here? We we are the field agents, we can you can we can do it, we can manage.
SPEAKER_07We got we can come with us, Anakin. It's i if it means that much to you, it's fine.
SPEAKER_02Why are you planning on doing anything I shouldn't know about?
SPEAKER_07Anakin, that's a weird tone to take. What's up?
SPEAKER_06Nothing's uh Anakin seems a little paranoid.
SPEAKER_05Annie, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?
SPEAKER_02Professor Renala was it? I would appreciate whenever you have one of these uh plans in your head before you get so involved, you run it by us first, see if it's okay. What if we'd said no? Huh? Did you all do you all think this is a good idea? Maybe you don't want to do this. Maybe you have a better idea of what we should be doing with our power.
SPEAKER_07Uh, okay, perception. Perception on Anakin. Oh shit. Oh shit. Perception. What the what is going on with this guy right now?
SPEAKER_05What is his toed? What's your deal? Eddie? I uh you haven't talked to us like this. You haven't talked around to us like this before. I don't know if you know us. I mean, you're not you may not be wrong, but you may not be right.
SPEAKER_07Perception, perception on and again. We know about his cool. Yeah. What kind of perception, sorry?
SPEAKER_02Uh this will be against his cool. How cool is cool.
SPEAKER_05That's one purple.
SPEAKER_02Well, you can uh you can add uh a blue onto that because he's uh obviously behaving strangely, but that would be against two reds and a purple. We know that's two failure.
SPEAKER_05I'm like, no, I think it's a I think it's a good idea that he comes along. It seems like the right insane things to do. Uh one failure, two advantage.
SPEAKER_07I I got one success, one advantage, and a triumph. Anakin, what is going on with you? What's going on, Anakin?
SPEAKER_05Do you want to talk about it?
SPEAKER_02Uh, those of you who failed can't really read him, but Starzanu got advantage, so you can tell that like something something is a little off about out about him. He may just be upset that you didn't come to him first. He may just be trying to do a power thing. Kala, you got success advantage and triumph. I sure did. So as Anakin has been down here, you kind of notice that his attention perks up. Like he looks like he's trying not to listen, but he is definitely paying more attention when she starts talking about the Sith.
SPEAKER_05It seem it seems as though we are uh of interest to uh of you. And honestly, uh if you feel if you feel as though you uh you would like to find your former mentor and uh have a discussion with him as long as you don't uh get in a uh as long as you don't get in uh the way and make things worse and uh What do you mean get in the way, Chris?
SPEAKER_02I mean, you know, be a brother.
SPEAKER_07Hey Anna Anakin, hey, can you uh just uh join me over here for a second? Can I kind of like wave him to a corner to like have a quick private word?
SPEAKER_05Is my Chris not that good? Is is my common nut very good? What is going on?
SPEAKER_02Uh Chris Chris, what is your um what is your charm? My charm? Yes.
SPEAKER_05Your charm is two r uh two yellow, two green, one uh take away a black. Okay.
SPEAKER_02I gotta roll his discipline. He can't be that disciplined. Well, he got two success and three threat. Hey. So um he doesn't start choking you, but like anybody who's uh probably Kala, you can see his finger starting to move into that position when it as Chris is saying, as long as you don't get in our way.
SPEAKER_07I'll kind of wave my hand and like maybe put a hand like not pushing his hands down, but kind of like hovering them over his, like, hey, hold on a sec. And consequences were not learned today.
SPEAKER_02Hey, uh, Anakin, could we have a little word in the corner for a quick? If you have something to say to me, Knightset, you can say it out in the open.
SPEAKER_07Uh, hey, Anakin, can we just like friend a friend? Not not knights things, just you know, you and me. Quick chat in the corner.
SPEAKER_02Well, if we're all friends and we have nothing to hide.
SPEAKER_07Okay. Well, I couldn't help but notice, Anakin, when Ronaldo was uh mentioning the Sith, you uh your layers seem to really perk up a whole lot. I I I have a feeling you might have an interest beyond what you're necessarily telling us.
SPEAKER_02Why, what do you think about the Sith? Do you have any problem with their teachings?
SPEAKER_07Any problems? I don't know much about the Sith. I haven't met very many of them.
SPEAKER_05We're cops, we just follow orders.
SPEAKER_07Anakin, I'm, you know, open hearts, open minds. A whole point in trying to reform is, you know, to be open to new knowledge, to be open to sharing new knowledge. So you're trying to uh to placate him? I I'm just trying to like uh simmer him down a little bit.
SPEAKER_02Okay, give me that'd be a charm. Oh dear. That'd be uh two purple and a red uh sorry, two red and a purple charm.
SPEAKER_05Can my can my advantage No wait. Can the fact that he got threat out of blue?
SPEAKER_02Uh that was threat on his discipline roll to not choke you, so.
SPEAKER_07Okay, fair enough. Sorry, that's two reds and a purple.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_07What do we have for Destiny?
SPEAKER_02You have two.
SPEAKER_07I'm gonna flip one to get a yellow, because I only got two greens, but I do get a blue. Let's see. One success, but five threat.
SPEAKER_05Holy shit. At least you got a success.
SPEAKER_07He likes me, but he hates Chris even more.
SPEAKER_05I get that. I understand that.
SPEAKER_02And he says, look, I know I might not look my like much of a bookworm, but I've done my fair share of research over the past year, and I've learned a few things about the Sith. And I know that the Sith and the Jedi are alike in many ways. Including, for example, hunger for power. And I know that we're trying to forge a new path that's different from the Jedi, but we have a hierarchy. I am the Knight Master, and you need to listen to me. And when somebody has an idea, they shouldn't just hand it out as a thing that's gonna happen. They should ask me if it's okay.
SPEAKER_07Okay, Anton.
SPEAKER_02The Emperor put me in charge for a reason, and I should be respected as the Emperor's eyes and his ears and his voice. Okay, Annie. In this temple, you should treat me as if I am the Emperor.
SPEAKER_07Okay. Um, may may I speak? Can I have the talk and stick now?
SPEAKER_02Can I have the talk and you may speak, Knightset.
SPEAKER_07Okay. Kala's Kala's really fine. Anakin, I uh or sorry, is it is it Master Skywalker now? Are we back to last names?
SPEAKER_02I would appreciate formality in this instance, Knightset.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_07Master Skywalker now. We all respect your authority. We all respect you as the voice of the Emperor in this temple. However, the what is gonna be going into Run in this temple and grow in this temple, it's more than can reasonably be expected for every single Like we're not asking the droids to clear the dinner menu with you. We wouldn't ask the Emperor to come on this miss mission. If you want to come on this mission, like certainly you're welcome to come. But like it is kind of below your purview, if you know what I mean. Like you're like uppermost management, and this seems like middle manager shit.
SPEAKER_02Is this a coercion? Is this a charm?
SPEAKER_07Neither is great. Maybe a coercion. Okay. Because that my coercion's slightly better. And it's like I am kind of taking a bit of a uh a not necessarily charming tone. Yeah, two two reds and a purple. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Uh, it's fine. You didn't get those threats, so why don't you add two blacks onto that? Oof, two blacks. Ooh, two threats. Two threat. And he says, night set, for the duration of this mission, I would have your sword.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, okay, man, I don't need that.
SPEAKER_02You will be acting in the capacity of a squire. You will be subservient to Chris, Illyria, and Starzan.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_02Maybe that will put you in better mind to observe proper hierarchies.
SPEAKER_07Sure, Master. I'll be a squire.
SPEAKER_02Very well. And the three of you, feel free to uh order Squire Set as you please. She is at your command. Treat her as you would a droid.
SPEAKER_05Uh I I I uh Are you sure? As that sounds Um that sounds like uh a recipe for chaotic disaster, but I'm also here for it.
SPEAKER_07Oh, don't worry, Chris. I won't do anything without your express permission.
SPEAKER_02The Imperial Knights cannot be an organization that is just do as you please anytime. I enjoy our council chamber sessions as much as the next person.
SPEAKER_05Again, I just want to say uh I I just want to say I accidentally became important today. And I and I started to regret it.
SPEAKER_02But you need to remember who's the boss in this situation.
SPEAKER_07Masters.
SPEAKER_05I I I feel an aura, an aura of uh well, how do you say passive aggressiveness? Uh since I feel as though we should explore later, but I feel as though we have some people to whoo.
SPEAKER_02That's a good zone to be in. The passivity of the light and the aggression of the dark. Balance. Then I get that.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's that's fair. That's that's that's what it is. Yeah, that's that's it.
SPEAKER_02So he takes your standard issue, Imperial Knight, lightsaber from you, and he departs back to stare out the window as at his ex-wife's apartment.
SPEAKER_07I guess back to my rifle, baby, what I know best. What's she doing? And you've still got your other lightsaber. He he took my he took my gun, but doesn't know that I can conceal carry. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You're a loose cannon, Cala. You took your work gun, but not your home gun. This is my hanging around gun. It's my dinner pistol.
SPEAKER_07We don't I don't think we technically know about his ex-wife. I want to be snide, but I don't think we technically know.
SPEAKER_02I think it's an open secret. That makes sense. Like, Chris being allowed to have a tabloid relationship with this uh Senate aide is probably something that is like openly reported on because the Imperial Knights are allowed to, like, take concubines, I guess.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. So uh Master Master Skywalker, as long as we're asking per express permission. Oh, he's gone. Um, okay.
SPEAKER_05Well, fuck you.
SPEAKER_02Unless you want to shout it at him as he's leaving to back up to the house.
SPEAKER_07Master Master! Hey Master, while we're giving out orders, you want me to buy you some uh binoculars for all your staring?
SPEAKER_02Alright, so this is gonna be a uh let's see. Oh boy.
SPEAKER_07I'm gonna get my ass choked out.
SPEAKER_05Do you wanna do you wanna get a dis do you wanna do discipline to not do that?
SPEAKER_07Maybe, actually, maybe I should. Maybe I should uh resist doing that.
SPEAKER_02Do your discipline against your discipline? I'm gonna give you a destiny point.
SPEAKER_03So uh Can I do discipline to slap my hand over her mouth?
SPEAKER_02So uh why don't you do you have any yellows?
SPEAKER_07I have uh one yellow two green to discipline.
SPEAKER_02Uh reduce that to green.
SPEAKER_07Oh no, so I'm rolling against uh red two purple. Is Elyria gonna try to stop me?
SPEAKER_03Do you want me to? Are you gonna slap my hand over your mouth?
SPEAKER_02Well it would be a it would be a vigilance if if what is my vigilance? Uh, if it fails for discipline, you can roll a vigilance.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Ooh, one failure.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_07I get out, hey maston Elyria can try to stop me.
SPEAKER_02What uh what were you rolling against? Because that'll also be uh Elyri's vigilance.
SPEAKER_07Uh one red, two purple.
SPEAKER_03Nil. I don't even move.
SPEAKER_07He's like, what?
SPEAKER_03Uh whatever.
SPEAKER_05Uh I'm gonna get more red. You in in fact, you you you you point o uh over at her being like, it wasn't me, it was her.
SPEAKER_06So have you put any thoughts into your next character?
SPEAKER_07You can be you can be one of the dark Jedi that we find to join the You know, as long as I'm in your service master, I'd love to do you a favor.
SPEAKER_02And what is that, Squire Set?
SPEAKER_07I'll buy you some macro binoculars for the next time you go hang out by a window.
SPEAKER_02Alright, so he rolls three lights, seven darks. So he's gonna spend one point to immobilize you. And uh he's going to spend six points to deal six points of wound against you, bypassing your soak. Uh what's your discipline?
SPEAKER_07Uh, one yellow, two green.
SPEAKER_02Okay. So he gets one success on that.
SPEAKER_07Uh man. If only Kala could just not be herself for a day.
SPEAKER_05I tried to help. I tried to. You tried, so you know what?
SPEAKER_02Uh what that does is if he d if he beats you in a discipline check, he can inflict a critical injury. Adding uh adding an additional 10 to the roll per force point spent on the check. So he spent seven, so he's gonna be adding 70 to whatever he rolls.
SPEAKER_07Oh my god, is he gonna kill me? Holy heck!
SPEAKER_0218.
SPEAKER_07Okay, thank goodness.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god, are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_07Thank goodness.
SPEAKER_05Are you fucking kidding me?
SPEAKER_02So that goes up to 88.
SPEAKER_07Oh man. Kaliset's dumb as hell. I am dumb as hell.
SPEAKER_05I I I respect you. I respect you so much. So 88. The commitment to the bit, you gotta respect it. You gotta respect the commitment to the bit, you see.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so that's that's only a two purple.
SPEAKER_05Cool.
SPEAKER_02Uh, so that's uh compromised, increase the difficulty of all skill checks by one until the end of the encounter. He's he leaves the room after choking you out, so that's the end of the encounter.
SPEAKER_05I mean, there you that I mean, holy shit, that was lucky.
SPEAKER_07I'll kind of like wheeze, just like do you guys think that was a yes? Man, honestly.
SPEAKER_05Uh the fact that you're alive right now is very, very uh impressive, actually.
SPEAKER_07I guess. Okay, so you are okay, like just to be clear, the squire thing. Are you guys actually gonna be holding to that?
SPEAKER_05I'm uh Absolutely. And and and I I I look over, I'm like, uh I wouldn't mind the coffee.
SPEAKER_07I'll get you a coffee, Chris. I'll get you a coffee.
SPEAKER_05No, no, I I I I I already regret that. Please don't you don't have to give me a coffee.
SPEAKER_07No, it's okay. I'll get you a coffee, Chris.
SPEAKER_02And uh the Scossie, he steps forward and he says, Don't worry. I will enforce the master's will.
SPEAKER_07God. I'll get you a coffee, Chris. Don't you worry about it. I'll get Chris a coffee. I won't do anything to it. I'm not gonna do anything to it. It's gonna be a perfectly bad that I'm not doing anything to it.
SPEAKER_05That's why I didn't want you to come get me a coffee.
SPEAKER_07No, I'm Chris, we are still friends. I'm not going to murder you. I just want you to know I'm taking this as confirmation that I am going to do nothing. Unless you expressly tell me to.
SPEAKER_05I'm going to fucking kill you.
SPEAKER_07So y'all bitches better remember how my skills work, because I'm not doing shit.
SPEAKER_02Malicious compliance.
SPEAKER_05Oh, we've granted the monster. I I thought there was too much uh passive aggressiveness going on the other day.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, no, I'll bring Chris back his coffee.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so uh because and also because uh she wouldn't be allowed to vote, uh because she has to stop off at the uh the mess hall, the kitchen to get Chris's coffee. When the three of you go to the hangar, uh, because it has also been a year over the past year, you've been mostly using like T6 shuttles uh left over from the Jedi, but now you're a year into the Empire, and using Jedi shuttles is a little bit eh, I don't want to know if you want to be doing that. So, the Imperial Knights now have a vessel of their own to use on uh your missions, and you have been gifted from the Empire a VT 49 assault ship, which you can name.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Did you guys have ideas for this? I I mean, uh, metagaming, didn't we have a conversation about this maybe a month ago?
SPEAKER_02You did, but you didn't uh come up with something. I think there are some suggestions.
SPEAKER_03No way, my suggestions were great. I'm trying to find them.
SPEAKER_05I think there was one I think there was one that was like, that's it, that's the one. Uh let's see.
SPEAKER_07I think one of the ones that Amy suggested was the terrible turn, and I'm like, oh, I kinda like that.
SPEAKER_05Terrible turn's not bad.
SPEAKER_03Have I ever gotten to name a ship?
SPEAKER_05Honestly, I think terrible turn is the one.
SPEAKER_07Let's go terrible turn.
SPEAKER_05I don't get a vote. Sorry. No, no, no, it's okay. You get you Sarah gets a vote, but like not. No shit.
SPEAKER_07Um I'm getting coffee. I'm just, you know, I will approve when I come back.
SPEAKER_05I hope you come back. You're like terrible turn. That's what you named it? I'm supposed to be happy about it?
SPEAKER_01Terrible turn.
SPEAKER_07No, I'll come back, we'll give you your coffee, and I'll go excellent choice, Masters. Oh, please.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03I wish that then. Originally thought it was. Thank you, Mike.
SPEAKER_05I wish that name wasn't so fucking awkward.
SPEAKER_02Symbolism. So, uh, you can then uh go to the hangar bay, board the terrible turn, your VT49 Decimator class assault ship. Oh yeah. Looks like a uh uh Thai Reaper attack lander, had a baby with a Corellian freighter, party, got weapons, a couple of quad laser turrets, percussion missile launchers.
SPEAKER_07I don't even know how I should interpret that.
SPEAKER_02Do everything, tan tan-tan. And you can set a corpse for the Swarby system to try and convince the Gensari to join you. Are you gonna make Khaled do anything on the way?
SPEAKER_03Fly the plane.
SPEAKER_07As you askmaster.
SPEAKER_05I I already feel weird about uh uh uh her getting getting me the coffee, even though I know she didn't do anything to it. I feel as you know that. I I I feel I feel as though she uh has the power to do something uh of uh to it, so I'm going to Rome uh I'm I'm not going to pretend to sip on it. I'm I'm I'm go I'm going to not take advantage of this woman. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Because O'Leary So Chris, roll a perception against Kala's skull. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Uh yellow to green so red two purple.
SPEAKER_05I got a success but three threat.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so Kala, did you do anything to the coffee?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_07I wouldn't have done anything to it.
SPEAKER_02So, Chris, you can tell that Kala didn't do anything to the coffee, but you got those three threat. Maybe I did something to the cup.
SPEAKER_07Who knows? Yeah, who knows? Maybe nothing. The coffee itself is fine. How many lumps of sugar did he ask for with that? Anything could have happened to the sugar, Chris.
SPEAKER_02Anything could have happened to the cream? You don't know what animal it was from.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_06Where's Tarzan seed? We've been looking for it all day.
SPEAKER_05I I chug it like a shot. That's the spirit. She milked Panth Star. Oh. I'm just like, I'm just wanted expresso to go.
SPEAKER_07I didn't do anything to the coffee.
SPEAKER_05Please stop saying that you didn't do anything to the coffee.
SPEAKER_07Okay, because Olyria explicitly asked, I will fly the ship. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Wait, do you normally fly the ship or is it Chris Chris? I'm a pilot.
SPEAKER_02Okay, sweet. Uh but Chris, you can take some strain for that as well because you got those threat.
SPEAKER_03I will uh roll my standard uh astrogation.
SPEAKER_02Two purple, it's not too hard to get there. Drinking coffee causes you threat.
SPEAKER_03Three success. Oh, that's the best fucking astrogation I've ever rolled.
SPEAKER_02Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_03Thanks to the new ship.
SPEAKER_02So, uh, with that astrogation, you can get there, and you can also pull up some additional uh information about the Swarby system. Uh the place you are looking for is the fifth moon of the seventh planet of the Swarby system, creatively named SUSE Phi because it's Swarby75.
SPEAKER_07You know, it works if it works.
SPEAKER_01I I can't hear it and not think it's just space Arby's Swarbies. Swarbies.
SPEAKER_02Beef there. Yeah. And you can kind of pull out of hyperspace because you got you to get three success. So you gotta pull out a little bit back, back enough, because you're because maybe you get an idea that, like, okay, the Gensari are kind of like around this planet. Uh, they've had bad problems with the Jedi in the past. Maybe not best to like pop out right above the planet. So if you hang back a little bit, you can see that uh the world itself is being patrolled by s like some starfighters.
SPEAKER_07Okay. I will hold the course. Unless unless anyone says otherwise, I will hold the course.
SPEAKER_05Hey, uh I think you should use your best judgment.
SPEAKER_07What do you think that would be, Master?
SPEAKER_05Jesus fucking Christ. Stop being such a goddamn uh stop being I pardon my French, but stop being such a goddamn bitch.
SPEAKER_03I I was joking about taking advantage of you on this trip.
SPEAKER_07I don't think you were, Lyria. I don't think you were. I think I was.
SPEAKER_03I think you just don't understand deadpan humor.
SPEAKER_05I also think that you don't understand justice between friends.
SPEAKER_07I think that I understand that Scassie Nossage is uh apparently here to make sure that the master's will has been carried out. Is he with us or is it just Anakin?
SPEAKER_02Anakin didn't go.
SPEAKER_07Oh, he didn't go, just Scassie.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, Scassie's there. He's he's just hanging back and observing with his weird-shaped head.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_05No, I think that uh Stop being so fucking weird, Scassie.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, Scassie Moswell's.
SPEAKER_03We want you to use your best judgment.
SPEAKER_07Oh, I don't know if my judgment's gonna be as good as yours, Elyria.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna go ahead and avoid these fucking ships then.
SPEAKER_05I walk I walk out of the fucking room with throw my hands in the air.
SPEAKER_07I'll I'll I won't stretch this too far. Uh based on based on my best judgment, like, does it seem like these ships are like combative? Should we be trying to stealth around them, or does it look like they're just like here to check people in as they're coming through?
SPEAKER_02Uh roll me a knowledge warfare.
SPEAKER_07Ooh. Oh, actually, Elyria's judgment might be better here. Yeah, give me a two-purple knowledge warfare. Are you intellect? Two purple? Yeah. Oh, two success. Okay. Now we need you to do it. Get out of ya.
SPEAKER_02So, Kala, you can tell that they are they seem to be just running a standard patrol. They don't seem to be like aware of your presence, but they it does seem to be like they are the protectors of this planet, whatever that means. They're probably Gensari pilots.
SPEAKER_07Hmm. Does our ship have any cloaking on it?
SPEAKER_02Uh, no.
SPEAKER_07I mean, if we're here to talk openly and honestly with the Gensari.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, can can we be can we open a channel and just be like Yeah, give them a hail. We ha we have a proposition for for you. Um let's let's let's call let's call 'em up and uh let's yeah, let's call them up and uh Well, okay, are like how close are are are they to us?
SPEAKER_02Do they notice us yet? They're not within visual range, they're mostly just appearing on your scopes.
SPEAKER_05Can we I feel like before they consider us a threat, we should put up the we we we should put up the knowledge that like hey, we're not here to fight, we are uh here to talk, kind of thing.
SPEAKER_07Not a threat. Send out a friendly hail. Hail Yeah, send out a friendly hail.
SPEAKER_02So you can send out a friendly hail. Uh they respond back and a voice comes over your ship's comms and it says unidentified vessel, state your purpose for being here.
SPEAKER_05Uh we are from the uh we're from the empire, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. We're we're we're uh like well well we're we're from the Imperial Knights, because that's kind of like we're that's that's a better name, right?
SPEAKER_05Uh we are from the Imperial Knights, and uh we have a proper uh we have a proposition for you, uh uh for you and your people uh to uh help joy uh join us and create great democracy between us.
SPEAKER_02We have no quarrel with the Empire, but we're not harboring any Jedi if that's what you're after.
SPEAKER_05No no no, this is complete no no no. We just want uh uh other people to get the cool g the cool shit like we do.
SPEAKER_03We'd like an exchange of information.
SPEAKER_05Especially that so. Well then give me the information and we'll see if we can exchange it. What? No, that's not how this works. That's not how I mean this works.
SPEAKER_07The Chris, um, Master Chris, uh may I?
SPEAKER_05Uh yes, yes, go ahead.
SPEAKER_07Uh it's a location of Yelena Itclaw. Uh we are uh we are looking for Oh no we have, we have, we have the location of Yelena Itkla.
SPEAKER_05We have the location of Yelena Itclaw, uh uh, but we cannot give it until we know for sure that uh uh uh uh until uh you're also able to give us some information and hopefully we that'll be a start of a wonderful friendship. Please hold. What kind of music are they playing? They're playing musak, spuzak. Are are are they play are they playing the waiting is the hardest part?
SPEAKER_07They're playing some waiting room jizz.
SPEAKER_02Please hold, Jiz. And after a moment, they call back and they say, follow us down to the surface, we'll take you to the Sarai Kar. Can do! Sarai Kar. So your ship is surrounded by a squadron of starfighters, and they bring you down to a city. A coastal port city on the surface of the planet, and they take you, land you kind of in a hangar bay that's near this building where it's like you can tell that it is it used to be a big important building in the city, but like a huge section of the roof has collapsed. And it's the kind of collapse where it's like there's no exterior carbon scoring, it wasn't like blasted by a turbo laser. It's the kind of collapse that happens when somebody uses telekinesis to rip a roof down.
SPEAKER_05Oh no. There is some action here once, once.
SPEAKER_02So as your ship is uh escorted down to this damaged building, there's a landing zone. You can see getting out of the other starfighters are, as you would expect, a group of gensari in armored flight suits, and as you would expect, uh, based on the hollow image you got. These other gensarai also have stylized their armor to resemble various creatures. And after they kind of surround your ship, they have their sort of hands ready at their belts to draw their lightsabers if they need to. And an armored woman in a cloak and hood comes out to your ship. Her armor is this kind of like golden bronze color at her helmet, is stylized. It's got like this black visor that is acting as sort of the mouth of like uh like a panther or something, like some kind of like jungle cat.
SPEAKER_05Ooh, panther. Stars and likes. Gonna have a new a new animal friend, even though we just got one.
SPEAKER_02And she doesn't uh take the defensive posture. She has her hand on her lightsaber at nights as this yellow blade illuminates the hangar bay. And she says, Come out if you have information about the Jedi.
SPEAKER_05Uh okay. And then we cut we come out.
SPEAKER_03And we killed him.
SPEAKER_05Uh we we we come out and uh we uh What what was the information that we were looking for again? Where Obi-Wan was, right? They might know. You want you want them to join you. And also them to join us, okay.
SPEAKER_07Uh we have the location of Yelinik Itclaw as our leverage.
SPEAKER_05Let's chill out a little bit. There's no need for zero there's no need for the weapons. We are here uh as a pe uh as a peace offering here. Uh because you have information that we need, and we have information that you need. And I feel I feel as though uh if we were able to share our information, we c uh we as a team could be unstoppable.
SPEAKER_02I have heard tell of the Imperial Knights how you serve the Emperor's bidding. You hunt down Jedi, and this we have no problem with. But you are coming to collect us as well? Would we be servants of the Empire?
SPEAKER_05I mean, not forcefully.
SPEAKER_02Nope. Not forcefully. You think that you are strong.
SPEAKER_05I mean, every every once in a while we have our moments, but uh what uh once again, we're uh we're here and as complete uh peaceful beings on a uh mission of diplomacy and information exchange.
SPEAKER_02Peace. A Jedi teaching, but what do you know of passion?
SPEAKER_05Oh I know a thing or two about passion, let me tell you.
SPEAKER_07Oh, could we uh oh no, nope. Nothing.
SPEAKER_05What were you gonna say? You could say what you were gonna say.
SPEAKER_07Oh god, hang on. I'm trying to remember. I know that Kalano is it, but I I just am trying to remember it. Oh, uh just um that through passion we gain strength.
SPEAKER_05Through passion they gain strength. Oh, okay. Um, what's the rest of it?
SPEAKER_07Through strength, I gain we gain power, through uh power we gain victory, and through victory, our chains are broken. The force will free us.
SPEAKER_05Well then you could say since we are the most passionate uh people.
SPEAKER_02You are familiar with the hidden truth.
SPEAKER_05We have heard such tales.
SPEAKER_02Our numbers have dwindled. It is true. The Jedi killed many of us when they came here during the war, including my husband.
SPEAKER_05Unfair. Completely evil completely evil as the Jedi are. And they say that the Zayers are good guys. They are not. Obviously, yes, no, I completely agree. Just to confirm. Just to confirm, like I I'm on the same page. Me and you were like, uh we're we're so in sync, we're like Justin Timberlake.
SPEAKER_02Are we?
SPEAKER_05Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_02We believe that if each being beats the heart of a beast, controlled by the mind, we shape our armor to resemble the beasts inside each of us. We believe that in combat, our hearts are truly open and who we are is laid bare. Would you show me who you are and lay yourself bare?
SPEAKER_05Starzan, I say I think she you she is beckoning you? This does feel like a seed stealing scam.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, is she is she like focusing on any one of us in particular? Chris has been doing the talking.
SPEAKER_02You can't really tell, because they've all got like the head-to-toe armor.
SPEAKER_05I am more of a passionate lover. Uh, but uh Star Starzan has won several world uh uh galaxy championships as a lover.
SPEAKER_02What are you talking about? Starzan doesn't have casual sex, but he does have ranked competitive sex.
SPEAKER_07I have professional sex.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm like, what are you talking about?
SPEAKER_07No, fighting, because she's like kinda it's that kind of sounds like she's challenging someone to a duel. Oh yeah, yes. Yeah, Starzan, what do you think she was saying?
SPEAKER_06I don't know, you guys are making a lot of allegations there.
SPEAKER_07Have I beaten any of them?
SPEAKER_06Yes, I have beaten off many men. I am a champion.
SPEAKER_02And she she kind of tilts her head. You can't see her face, but her through her visor you can see that she's looking at you, and she gives you the once over. And she unclips the cloak around her neck and she drops it and she says, Well, how about a chance to beat off a woman?
SPEAKER_06It would be a new experience.
SPEAKER_07You ever beat off a woman before Starzan?
SPEAKER_02And she kind of like walks in a circle around you, kind of examining you as she would uh a piece of livestock. Uh, but as she does, she kind of is trailing one foot, sort of creating an arena. And she says, if one of us can beat the other outside of the circle, then we win.
SPEAKER_01We're just doing graps? We're just we're just wrestling.
SPEAKER_02Use whatever weapons or techniques you have at your disposal.
SPEAKER_01I uh pull out the star sword and just kind of drop it outside of the circle.
SPEAKER_05Ooh, just grappling. And just grappling. You're like, kind of grappling. The only weapons that I need are these guns. Also my large animal!
SPEAKER_02She unclips her lightsaber and hands it to one of the Gensari pilots. Excellent.
SPEAKER_07Starzan's gonna get a girlfriend! Man, this is gonna get so sweaty. Man, Savage is gonna be so jealous. If he's still alive. Yeah. I'm sure he's out there somewhere taking it easy for all us sinners.
SPEAKER_05He's watching this outside the window in the rain.
SPEAKER_07He's locked up in a prison waiting for Starzan to come back for him, and he just feels a disturbance in the force. Starzan is squatting and thrusting with someone else now. Oh man. Okay. So sorry, Starzan, go and uh beat off this lady.
SPEAKER_01Okay, is she gonna I guess we're doing initiative then, right? Yeah, she she gets into into a battle stance.
SPEAKER_06Oh, first of all, I it's been a while. I'm gonna I'm gonna up my uh brawl and my uh strength with my force vindication.
SPEAKER_02And and she says, normally I would have one of my ring defenders test you, but it seems to be important to you. Gets into a into a combat stance. This would be cool versus cool. After all we've been through.
SPEAKER_07I don't do this. You did this to me! Don't do this.
SPEAKER_05You did this to me!
SPEAKER_01Started I can't even. I didn't start this. Flip a destiny, I suppose. To advantage. Was it worth it? One success to advantage.
SPEAKER_02Uh Wap whap. She's going to she's gonna brawl. She's gonna run. Because, you know, she has the force, she's gonna do this leap, and as she kicks off, she kicks up all this sand into the air, and she's doing this like twirly flip trying to get get around to your back. Do you have any melee defense?
SPEAKER_01Uh, I don't think I do.
SPEAKER_02What's that armor edited? I think I think your armor might yeah, your armor has one defense. Okay. Uh, two success and a threat. So she jumps up, does a corkscrew twist in the air, lands behind you, kicks you in the spine. Does she leave herself totally open? Uh she she does kind of, her leg is extended out, so uh you will be able to get a blue if you want to try and go for that. Yeah, I will. So she's got uh two points of manly defense and two ranks of adversary, so that's two red and two black. Uh flip another destiny. Do we have enough destiny to flip that? You have got one left. Okay. Two success, four advantage. Ooh. Uh so since this is a a brawl attack with those uh advantage, um, you do have disorient and knockdown on your unarmed attacks. Yeah. And each each of those costs uh two advantage to spend.
SPEAKER_07Oh my god, she she kicks her legs extended, you just grab her leg and rag dollars lady into the ground.
SPEAKER_02Which which gives her days. That would be days two. So you can grab her leg, slam her into the ground, she is uh knocked down and disoriented. Is that the end of the fight? That's not the end of the fight because she said you have to try and uh push them out of the circle. Okay. I guess she still go still gets to go, but yeah. So she's on the ground, and this this is kind of a hangar bay. There is kind of rubble strewn about from the damage to the buildings, and there is like dirt and sand and little loose stones. And you may not know this about the gensari, but the gensari have uh they don't carry blasters. Uh they have developed a technique known as uh ballista telekinesis.
SPEAKER_01Oh no. Wasn't that that Angelina Jolene movie?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, she's gonna sever your X.
SPEAKER_01Oh shit. No, the one with uh with uh Pressor X. What was that?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. Anyways. A wanted? Oh, that's wanted. Yes, wanted, yeah. She kind of is able to do that, but the uh the Gensari's ballistakinesis is specifically so that they can shoot you when they don't have a gun. Oh. That is impressive, I have to say. So uh she's gonna use the move power to use two darks for this. Uh oh. Spend one to activate the power, and she has one, two, three, four magnitude upgrades. So she's going to spend her other one to hurl five stones at you. So, one success. So she hurls five silhouette zero stones at you.
SPEAKER_05Oh boy.
SPEAKER_02Uh, the base damage of a silhouette zero object is five.
SPEAKER_07Ooh. Wait, but would each one like the damage of each one that would have to go through a soak?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. What stars and soak? My soap is five.
SPEAKER_07Oh, they just bounce harmlessly off your tits. You just bounce them off with a big flex.
SPEAKER_02A stone massage. Well, she did get one success on it, on her attack roll, so each of them would still do one beyond that. Okay. So you are so yeah, so you do take five points of wound. She does kind of pelt you with these little stones for five points of wound. And she's gonna use her maneuver then to try and scramble away as you're distracted getting pelted with these rocks.
SPEAKER_05Should I do like a bull rush? Can I can I cheer from like the crowd? Yeah, if you want to root root for your boy, I'm gonna root for my boy.
SPEAKER_01Does that give me a blue? It'll give you an advantage.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay, I'm gonna do uh like a bull rush. One success, three advantage, I guess four advantage with uh with uh Chris's help. So one success, four advantage, one triumph.
SPEAKER_02Ooh. So with that, you can knock her down, but you can knock her right out of the circle.
SPEAKER_01Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_02Starzan wins! Yeah, you can tackle her, she goes flying and she kind of lands on her back and she does a a back somersault to to flip back up to her feet.
SPEAKER_05I I was hoping it would be a pinfall because uh uh to get may make it closer that it would be they would be dating soon, but uh we'll see.
SPEAKER_02I mean, do you want it to be a pinfall? Do you wanna do you wanna still be holding on to her as she's knocked out?
SPEAKER_01The rules are by pinfall mission, yeah. Hook the leg. Wait, who's the referee? Who's gonna count?
SPEAKER_02Well, the rule is they have to be like knocked out of the ring.
SPEAKER_05Where's that referee who's trying to fuck on me?
SPEAKER_02One of the ring defenders can uh can be the ref. Okay. You can grab her, hook into her, pretzel style.
SPEAKER_05Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_02Nice limbs tangled in rims, armor tangled in armor, hair, uh well, I mean, she's wearing a helmet, but she has hair. She might, you don't know. That's a good point.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, maybe you both have flowing blonde locks that are gonna get locked up together.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you can you can see like poking out uh because during the fight, some some hair has sneaked out. Okay, there you go. There are some flowing locks.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's very erotic. And one of the ring defenders says, Victory by ring note! Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Starzan poses, flexes muscles. We all high five. I don't. Not unless you tell me to. High five them. I I was about I was uh I was about to say, uh, hi uh please, high-five Wake Cal set.
SPEAKER_07I'll I'll high five Starzan once I'm instructed to.
SPEAKER_05High-five Starzan. Starzan's ring music starts playing, gets everyone pumped.
SPEAKER_07Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_02And the uh the leader, the Saraikar, she kind of wriggles out of you. Out of you. And she gets up and she says, Your heart has been bare to me, and I like what I see. You are honest and forthright in your fighting style. You are an honorable combatant.
SPEAKER_05I start elbowing um Starzan in the ribs. I'm like, uh, huh?
SPEAKER_07She thinks you're honorable. She's seen your heart.
SPEAKER_02Like your heart on. However, there is one matter that must be settled before we can donate our forces to yours. Before I am able to move on from this place, the man who killed my husband must be brought to justice. One of my ring defenders said that you knew his location. A Kamasi Jedi.
SPEAKER_05Yes, we we would like uh we uh are here to tell. You about that, but we also wouldn't mind a little bit of help finding uh one Obi-Wan Kenobi.
SPEAKER_02We have some of our defenders searching for Kenobi, but we have not at this point located him.
SPEAKER_06Starzan heard he was hooked up with a Tweelec chick.
SPEAKER_02What? Because his wife is Hera in Ahsoka.
SPEAKER_07Oh, I see. Starzan's getting meta. Once again.
SPEAKER_01Known for breaking the fourth wall, Deadpool and Starzan. Well, he is kind of a she-hulk. That's a good point, yes.
SPEAKER_02He's a bit of a male she-hulk, if you will.
SPEAKER_05A mulk. Incredible. We can take a look. Okay, yeah, looking back at you guys like guys, guys, crew taker.
SPEAKER_02And as the defense of my home is my primary concern, I would ask to keep a contingent of defenders here, at least until the remaining Jedi are dead.
SPEAKER_05I can I I completely understand and I uh completely agree. Um I uh I I I I turned back to like talk to you guys a little bit here. I'm like Uh s they said that they don't know where uh Obi-Wan Kenobi is. Do we Okay, uh uh I turned back. Do you do you guys uh so you don't know where Obi-Wan Kenobi is, but do you have any leads whatsoever?
SPEAKER_02My daughter has been hunting him.
SPEAKER_07Daughter What was that, Starzan?
SPEAKER_05What was that? What was that? She has a daughter.
SPEAKER_06You know what that means. She programs she had sex. Yeah. A seed taker.
SPEAKER_07I bet she had sex with her husband.
SPEAKER_06We don't know who she's had sex with, other than that it happened. At least once. You know the husband's d This is this this is way outside of Starzan's expertise now.
SPEAKER_07Oh, Starzan, you're going too far.
SPEAKER_05Um should should we should we tell uh okay, like how honorable do we want to be? Should we tell her uh where this uh Jedi is, or uh uh what kind what kind of information should we trade?
SPEAKER_02Well that that seems to be like her condition where it's like she can't move on from the planet until that Jedi is dead. Okay.
SPEAKER_07If if I uh if I may, master.
SPEAKER_05I was about to s I was about to be a real big asshole, but no, go ahead.
SPEAKER_07Oh, you can be a big asshole if you want to.
SPEAKER_05No, no, no, no, no, we're no uh please tell me.
SPEAKER_07Uh because uh perhaps since we know the uh location of this Jedi, um, and it sounds like you would be open-minded to um allying with the us, the Imperial Knights, uh perhaps we give you the location and we assist you in eliminating him. We have a lot of experience in dealing with rogue Jedi, as you might have heard.
SPEAKER_02Yes, tell me where he is and we will go and kill him now.
SPEAKER_05As in we as in the Zero We?
SPEAKER_02I wish to see the Imperial Knights in action.
SPEAKER_05Oh, okay. That's that's uh I mean let's uh Do we wanna roll perception on her? Yeah, let's roll perception.
SPEAKER_07Not that I'd suggest such a thing.
SPEAKER_05Do we perceive about this?
SPEAKER_07Let's perceive about this.
SPEAKER_02I wanna perceive. Uh, and you're looking for to see if she's lying? Just generally her cool?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, just turn it on. She's trying to generate her on us.
SPEAKER_02I I I wanna I wanna uh judge her vibe. Did she pass the vibe check? Can you give me a three purple? Add a black onto that because you can't see her face.
SPEAKER_07I will do no such thing. Uh I got one success, one advantage.
SPEAKER_05I got one failure and two advantage. You got it. Suckel.
SPEAKER_03Whatever you say, beautiful. One threat.
SPEAKER_07Oh, is Elyria gonna try to get her?
SPEAKER_03No. I got a threat.
SPEAKER_01One success, one threat.
SPEAKER_07There's room for more than one person. There's room for more than one person to pursue the hot MILF. I assume she's hot, as MILFs often are.
SPEAKER_01One of those odd hot MILFs.
SPEAKER_05Mother I would not like to fuck. Mother, I'd like to fuck, but like I won't tell about it.
SPEAKER_03I'll still fuck her.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Mother, uh, don't kiss and tell. So uh Cala. Max Mom.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh, you can uh tell that she's pretty forthright. She uh has no love for the Jedi. She was defeated uh in this combat by Starzan. You kind of get the feeling she was holding back a little bit, but mostly that, you know, it seems like she's willing to support your cause to send some of the uh Gensarai defenders to Coruscant to come herself once this Jedi is destroyed, but that she wants to go and get revenge now. Yep, let's do it. I'm I'm I'm for it. Let's do it. Uh Starzan, you also got the same sort of impression, but you got threat, so uh maybe watch your cod piece.
SPEAKER_07Seed snatchers abound.
SPEAKER_06I think I'm gonna need a bigger cod piece.
SPEAKER_07Oh, you're filling that one out?
SPEAKER_05Well, I think I just filled that. Bigger card piece. Starzen, you have a purse. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_07In your purse.
SPEAKER_02Uh Chris, you got failure, but you did get advantage. You don't know anything about her intentions, but listening to her voice, even though it's kind of filtered through her helmet, uh, you can kind of do a little bit of mental math. She said her daughter's going off gone off to try and find Obi-Wan. Um, her husband was killed, she's now the leader. So you're getting the vibes that like she might be approaching guilf territory. That may maybe maybe it is not possible for her to do anything with the seed that she snatches.
SPEAKER_07Your advantage is to protect Starzan's seed.
SPEAKER_05Uh uh I am here for you. Bros before hoes.
SPEAKER_07Like I I know we all rolled, but I and I know I got a success and an advantage, but again, I will not communicate that unless anyone explicitly asks me. So I'll keep it to myself.
SPEAKER_02What do you think? Well, Starzan also gets the same sort of vibe.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, what's the vibe that Elyria got gets? You got one threat, right?
SPEAKER_02Yes. The vibe that you get from her is like not totally at odds, but it's like she she did she did procreate once, she did like grapple with Starzan. She seems like an incredibly loose-moraled woman.
SPEAKER_03This chick seems like a slut.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02She seems like uh the the the kind of like you could see Kala maybe becoming that kind of person if she gets desperate enough. The kind of person who would procreate.
SPEAKER_07The kind of person who that that's the metric for what a slut is you would procreate. Oh god, fucking breeders. Oh god, oh no, Elyria's a redditor.
SPEAKER_03I'm on the ch our child tree.
SPEAKER_02So you can hand over the information. And the information about Yelenek Itkla is so he is a Kamassi. Um, and his homeworld was devastated by a solar flare not long after the end of the war. And the planet Alderon agreed to take a lot of refugees from that planet, and a Kamasi matching his description has been spotted in the Alderanian Royal Palace in the company of Senator Organa. It's unclear if Organa knows that he's a Jedi. As Imperial Knights, you have full jurisdiction to march into that palace and kill that guy. Hell yeah. And any other force sensitives you may encounter there. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Let's go exercise our authority. Not me, of course, but you know, you guys.
SPEAKER_02Uh, let's do it. So she uh gets into her starship, and you can get into the terrible turn and head to Aldran. If you want to make a one purple astrogation, you can, but Alderan's a core world. Very easy to get to, especially if you have a giant battle station.
SPEAKER_05If you if you're able to get like a triumph or success to advantage.
SPEAKER_03That's a good roll. Shut up. No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_05That's a good roll. I was just hoping for a triumph for. What were you gonna suggest in the event of a triumph?
SPEAKER_03I don't know, that we get that we uh we teleport break the laws of physics.
SPEAKER_05We land on the person that we're looking for.
SPEAKER_07Okay, pack it in, guys. Let's go home.
SPEAKER_05He got crushed by the landing gear. Wow. Isn't that lucky? Alright, where's Obi-Wan?
SPEAKER_02So, with those with those two advantage, like you got those success and advantage, you can make good time. Is there anything or any information that you would want to learn about Alderon or sort of how to deal with this?
SPEAKER_05Are we able to find love here or are we just looking for love and places?
SPEAKER_07Do you see how explodable is it? The Emperor may want to know this for later. It's one of the more explodable planets. It's full of hydrogen.
SPEAKER_03It's a secret tool that'll help us later.
SPEAKER_06We will we will pick Alderon because it is very explodable.
SPEAKER_07Look, our Death Star still needs a little bit of work, so it's gonna make a really big impressive boom if we go to Fur Alderon first. Could I kind of look up like what the because it's like we have the authority to walk in there, but it's like what is the political environment climate on Alderon and what sort of reception should we expect to receive?
SPEAKER_02Uh, Alderon, for the most part, is kind of keeping its head down. Smart. Smart. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05It's also got Ward's foresight.
SPEAKER_02Because uh, as as you all know, you know, Bail Bail Organa is the kind of guy who uh well he might be a rebel, but there's no reason to think he would be.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I mean we're I mean, he's as cool as we are. I mean, look, the the Empire like just formed. What is there even to rebel against?
SPEAKER_02What do you got?
SPEAKER_07Now, uh Bail Organa, rebel without a cause.
SPEAKER_02So uh during the end of the war, um there there was this thing called the petition of the 2000, which were uh various senators who were petitioning to try and get Palpatine to sort of relinquish his power, end the war, that kind of thing. Sixty-three of them, sixty-three of those two thousand senators were detained by Imperial Intelligence. And from the information you have, Baal Ragana was one of the senators who professed his loyalty to the Empire. So as far as you guys know, he's he's clean.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_02And he probably would be very happy to know that there was a Jedi in his midst that needed to be dealt with.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, we're gonna be doing him a big favor. Absolutely. We are heroes.
SPEAKER_02We'll be greeted as liberators. So you can uh travel to the Liberator planet, Alderon. Um has, in addition to the the Kamasi, there are a lot of like relief efforts and aid that they're sending out to people. They're trying to be everybody's friend. They're they're kinda like Canada, where it's like they have a good intergalactic reputation, but also there's a lot of war crimes that exist because of them.
SPEAKER_05The Geneva uh the Geneva Code is uh there for a reason.
SPEAKER_02The Coruscant Code was made for Alderon. I mean, well, Alderon is based on the the Swiss Alps and uh Geneva is in Switzerland, so it is the Alderon Conventions. Oh boy.
SPEAKER_07They did it, they did it!
SPEAKER_02Those crazy sons of bitches.
SPEAKER_07Okay, when we uh when we arrive, does anyone uh hail us?
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah, there is kind of a like flurry, like you guys don't necessarily need to announce yourselves, you just find a landing pad, but there are is kind of like a flurry of activity as they see, like you do bear the crest of the empire, uh you do bear the colors of the Imperial Knights and all the logos and things. And you do see uh Baal Organa coming out, uh kind of squinting at him. It's hard to tell if he's uh in his brat era or not, but um That's a good joke, good joke, thank you. But as as you come, he he kind of bows to you, him and his wife and no baby, and he says, Welcome, Imperial Knights. Uh to what do we owe the honor of your visit?
SPEAKER_05We uh we are here on a journey in order to investigate the disappearance of what was her name again?
SPEAKER_02The Gensarai leader, she's landed her starfighter, and she hops out of the cockpit as well, and she says, Yelenik Itkla!
SPEAKER_05Yulenik Itclaw, thank you. Uh we are here to uh find the location of Yolena Gitka. She is wanted by uh multiple uh multiple people here, and uh we are here to what Yelenik, that's uh sounds like a Kamasi name.
SPEAKER_02We do, of course, have many Kamasi refugees, but I don't think any of them would have committed a crime so grievous as to warrant the attention of the Imperial Knights and guest. No.
SPEAKER_05Well uh we we are here for uh we are here for our own reasons. Um it is it is okay if you could either help uh help us or not. We are uh not going to force it either way, but we are going to find her.
SPEAKER_02Of course, of course. Uh we are at your disposal. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Any uh any perception that we can roll on Organa?
SPEAKER_05The shifty fucking guy.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, is he like uh glancing nervously at any particular part of his estate?
SPEAKER_02Well, he is a senator. So yes. Well I'm saying he might be a little hard to read.
SPEAKER_07I mean god, three yellow and a free blue, and I can take away a black. My perception's pretty good.
SPEAKER_02So you're you're trying to uh catch his cool?
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay. So that is gonna be two reds and two purples. You're out of destiny points, so we'll make it three reds and a purple.
SPEAKER_07Three reds and a purple. Oh, thank you. Well, well, sir.
SPEAKER_02Let's see what happens.
SPEAKER_07Well, sir, got a failure and a threat.
SPEAKER_02Whoaf.
SPEAKER_07My perception's so good!
SPEAKER_02So, Cal, you got a failure and a threat. Maybe you are feeling a little bit petulant. Maybe you are feeling like, you know what? You don't have to read Bale Organa. You know you don't have to read Bale Organa. Because you know who Yelenikit Clay is. You know he's a Kamasi Jedi, you know he's uh supposedly been spotted here. You have ways to seek people out, but if nobody asks you to do it, it won't get done.
SPEAKER_07Well listen, I'm just saying with Scasi Nassaj, isn't Nassaj? Did I write that down right? Lurking behind, making sure that I follow orders.
SPEAKER_05I grant you free will.
SPEAKER_07Free will to do what whatever might that be, Master. Free will to do what?
SPEAKER_05To do what is best.
SPEAKER_07Oh Master, I think you're gonna need to be more specific than that for it to really correspond to the nightmare the nightmaster's wishes.
SPEAKER_05Never fucking mind, Zen. Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_07You know, if I had free will, it'd be lovely to use like a little uh you do a little seek, but like that's if I had free will and if I was given explicit instructions, naturally.
SPEAKER_05To seek? Oh, you would like to use seek? I feel like seek is not a bad idea.
SPEAKER_07As as you wish, master.
SPEAKER_05Wishmaster.
SPEAKER_07Master of wishes. Got three lightside. What do we have for destiny?
SPEAKER_02You have one.
SPEAKER_07Ooh, could I Mmm. Cause it'll be flipping a destiny point to take you a strain for each one that I want to use against morality, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but you haven't taken any strain.
SPEAKER_07I haven't taken any strain. I d mmm. You know what? I'll do it just to speed things along. I'll I'll take two s I'll flip a destiny point to take two strains so I can two use do two light to activate the power.
SPEAKER_02Right on. You can kind of reach out. Alderon is an incredibly peaceful world. Um there have, of course, been wars in its past, but that was a long, long time ago. And now it's uh very serene. It's the kind of place where like there are a lot of Jedi that have been from Alderon. It has just like the gooddest vibes. And even though you're sort of more open to, you know, darkness and use it almost exclusively, you're kind of more used to fueling things with your aggression. You can try and clear your mind. Maybe being freed of all your responsibilities has given you more leeway to just kind of let things happen. No thoughts, head empty. Yeah. And it's less that you are seeking him, and more that you're just kind of letting his scent in the force waft over to you. And if you you kind of like catch something, and like a pie sitting on a windowsill, if you look up from there's like a balcony overlooking the landing pad, and you just see a figure, just kind of take a step back in.
SPEAKER_05For a second there, I thought you were gonna say somebody floating because of the smell.
SPEAKER_07Seeking out the pie. Well, uh, I can nod up at the balcony and just like, he's there, and I'll I'll kind of just go walking off in like the direction that it looks like it would be to get to that balcony without uh saying anything else to Organa.
SPEAKER_02And Organa says, Oh, I'm I'm sorry. Uh up up you saw the person you're looking for up there.
SPEAKER_07Master, permission to speak.
SPEAKER_02Oh, granted.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, uh, and we have a jurisdiction here, so I think that you're just gonna let us go on ahead, aren't you? Aren't you Organa?
SPEAKER_02Yes, of course. Go go on, go right on ahead.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I have a I have a warrant for his arrest, and I put up the finger.
SPEAKER_05Fuck you. Do you leave him behind? No, we should take him with us.
SPEAKER_07Oh, do you want to take Baal with us?
SPEAKER_05I mean, I don't know. He might like try and warn somebody.
SPEAKER_07Well, that's true, actually. He might.
SPEAKER_05He also might like fight against us, although he's he's he's he's a senator. What's he's what is he gonna do? Okay, yeah, we'll take him with us. He knows the place better than we do. Again, we don't we don't distrust this guy, but we also don't trust this guy.
SPEAKER_07We need a guide.
SPEAKER_02He he does know this place uh a lot better than you do.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02There's no way that he would put us into a trap. So as as you're kind of taking him along, he like keeps stopping to like point out various artifacts and paintings, and like he's trying to tell you like all about the history of the palace and about Alderon.
SPEAKER_07Just ignore him.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And he says this this here, uh, have you ever seen one of these? It's a moss painting called Killick Twilight by Ob Cadder. Uh it's a very beautiful piece. Uh are you familiar with the Killicks? Well, the Killicks were a uh a an insectoid species that used to live on Alderon. If you have time during your visit, we could still visit some of their mounds out in the hills that uh still remain. They used to have these massive, quite beautiful hives.
SPEAKER_07And I'm just I'm plowing on ahead. I'm not stopping with this.
SPEAKER_02No, is this are are you sure I can't uh interest you in uh we have many more Killick artifacts if you'd like to take a look at our museum?
SPEAKER_07I'm I'm sha I'm sha as I'm going as I'm as I'm heading, can I uh do my suppress power and just get that committed on the way? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Tell Starzan more about these mounds. Let's do a let's do an errand circum walk and talk. I'll distract him.
SPEAKER_07Shit, I got three light sight again. Fucking Auderon, man.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you don't have any destiny points left. Damn! This place is way too positive.
SPEAKER_07Uh bitch. Oh wait, I'll try again once we get closer. I'm I'm ignor I'm ignoring my my I the void's gotta suck. I don't need permission to suck. As we've noticed.
SPEAKER_05Hell yeah, dog.
SPEAKER_02And uh the Sarai Kar, she's kind of like keeping pace with you, Kala. And she can kind of feel the force kind of bouncing off you. And she says, This place is rich with the force. If there's truly a Jedi waiting for us, we should do our best to cloak ourselves.
SPEAKER_07And Yeah, no, no shit, man. I'm trying, I'm trying. I just, you know.
SPEAKER_02And and she kind of like gets real small in the force.
SPEAKER_05I I uh put on some axe body spray earlier, so I'm good.
SPEAKER_07Look, I'm trying. Just give me a give me a minute. I just need to get collect myself and I'm gonna try again.
SPEAKER_02Very well. Use your own methods, but I can see why you need our help.
SPEAKER_07Shut up, bitch. God. Pardon me, sorry. I've been uh I've had a leash on all day. I still technically do.
SPEAKER_02But when when the Gensari join you, if they join you, uh, you may be able to get some mentor discounts on some of their powers.
SPEAKER_07Hell yeah. Does she say that? I can give you a mentor discount on some powers.
SPEAKER_02No, I'm saying that. Cool. But she she kind of starts cloaking herself in the force, so you can't really sense her.
SPEAKER_07Okay. Could I try again to do suppress, or do I have to wait longer?
SPEAKER_02Well, you can make it to the Room where the Jedi supposedly was hiding. The door is closed.
SPEAKER_07Can you hear anything on the other side?
SPEAKER_02Uh, give me a perception. And add a. I'll give you a destiny point back. Um, you're listening through a door. So this will add a black onto this would be if the if the Jedi is trying to be stealthy, this would kind of be against their stealth. So that would be uh against three purple and a black.
SPEAKER_07One suc or two success, one advantage.
SPEAKER_02So you can see or you can sense, you can hear some movement on the other side of the door. So somebody, it does seem like somebody is like sort of rushing around in there.
SPEAKER_07I was gonna be like, can I kick the door down? And then it's like, I don't have that kind of like strength. Starzan, are you with us or have you been distracted by Organa?
SPEAKER_01Uh, okay, yeah. I was I was distracting him, but I could probably have wandered away by now.
SPEAKER_02I guess you can hear like some sort of scratching and creaking on the floor as if somebody is moving something heavy in front of the door. Tarzan be right back. Want me to kick it?
SPEAKER_07Yes, kick it.
SPEAKER_02I mean it's one of those whooshing doors. It doesn't exactly have hinges.
SPEAKER_07Oh. It's a starter door. Why does pushing some well, I guess to stop us from getting in. Can we just open the door, I guess?
SPEAKER_05Uh it is locked. Can we cast knock in order to open? No, wait a minute, that's not the wrong game.
SPEAKER_07I mean we all have lightsabers, we can just cut through.
SPEAKER_05You also have uh Organa.
SPEAKER_02Uh do you do you have a key uh do you have a key? Uh yes, let me just one moment. And he starts like reaching into his pockets like he's trying not to find his key card. FASTA! Oh, here it is, here it is. And he presses it to the door, and the red light turns green, and the door whooshes open, and of course there is a big dresser in front that blocks it almost all the way up to the ceiling. He says, huh, that's queer. Who are you calling queer, sir?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, now maybe Starz and kick that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, just try and hoof it. Yeah, give me a this is probably pretty heavy, so give me a two purple and a black athletics.
SPEAKER_06Okay. I probably still have it committed from before. Two purple and a black athletics.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I got one success, three advantage. So, uh, do you how do you do you bust through this thing? Do you kick it over?
SPEAKER_07Do you uh bust through Kool-Aid Man through the wardrobe?
SPEAKER_02Yes. Oh yeah. You Yeah, you you kinda bust through the back the doors open like you're flying out of Narnia. Where's Mr.
SPEAKER_06Tumdus?
SPEAKER_02And this uh this Kamossi, I don't know if you've ever seen a Kamossi before uh in your life, but they kind of they have these like snoots. They're they're covered in fur. They look somewhat simian, except they have these long proboscis snoots and these kind of droopy ears.
SPEAKER_07Oh wait, are they like uh Max Rebos?
SPEAKER_06No.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_06That's Biff. Oh wait, no, never mind. I'm thinking of uh Modalin notes. Okay.
SPEAKER_02But you s you see this Kamasi dressed in dignitaries' robes, uh, and he shrinks away and he says, Ah, what what what's what's going?
SPEAKER_05Uh uh, we we follow that scream and we say, What is going on?
SPEAKER_04Ah, so somebody came into this room trying to kill me! Yelling at cla. I don't know who that is.
SPEAKER_02You fucking lying. What kind of perception? Uh this would be against his deception, so this would be against two red. Two red.
SPEAKER_07Ooh, one failure three advantage. Um success and advantage.
SPEAKER_02Okay, Chris, uh, so you figure either he you can you can kind of perceive him. Um he's either a Jedi with a lightsaber hidden under his robes, or he's swangin'. Kala, you think he's swangin'?
SPEAKER_07Oh he's- Oh my god, he's swanging! Just to uh Oh my god, what was her name? Oh my god, what was her name? Who we have with us. Did we get her name?
SPEAKER_02Uh just her title.
SPEAKER_07What was her title?
SPEAKER_02Oh man, we haven't even gotten it. Her title is Sarai Kar. Thank you. Sarikar. That's a name. That's close enough.
SPEAKER_07Uh Sarai Kar. Uh, you remember him swaying like that?
SPEAKER_02That's the man who killed my husband.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_05Excuse me, stop in the name of Zala. I I I'm not doing anything. I'm not here to hurt anyone. Uh, you're being charged with the murder of this person's uh of uh what's what's her name again?
SPEAKER_07Sarai Ka.
SPEAKER_05Sarai Ka's husband, how do you plead? I I did not do anything, I don't know what you're talking about. I did not murder him. Okay, then you should probably stand up to trials and also can I percept to see how, like, if he's telling the truth or not? I don't think this matters, but if he's telling the truth or not.
SPEAKER_02Did you get advantage with your perception? I did. So continue that going. You can you can kind of tell that he There's something going on here. Like he's definitely that Jedi, and he probably killed her husband, but there but he's I don't know, there's something weird going on. Uh okay.
SPEAKER_05Um, I I I I just kind of like uh say it's like, uh why don't you uh listen? I am very willing to hear your side of the story if uh uh you feel as though it is pertinent to your uh to your defense.
SPEAKER_04I can show you, I can show you what happened. The truth, I don't know, but I can show you I am Memni.
SPEAKER_05Can we can we like handcuff him or something? So that like, you know, he doesn't try anything.
SPEAKER_02Um yeah. Roll me a knowledge Xenology too, because he did he did mention something. Also, I'm bad at knowledge Xenology, so if anybody's smart purple, yeah, anybody to advantage.
SPEAKER_03He's got arms.
SPEAKER_01Um believe it or not, Starzan has a rank in Xenology. Two failures with advantage. Uh Starzan got one success with triumph.
SPEAKER_07With triumph, damn!
SPEAKER_01It's like that.
SPEAKER_07We'll leave it to Starzan, he's got it.
SPEAKER_02I got it. Starzan. What you know about Kamasi is that uh he said something about Memni, which Kamasi have the ability to share memories. Memni are the these memories that they have that they can share. Within like Kamasi society, they can share them usually only with their like close family members, but anybody who's like for a Jedi, anybody who's force sensitive, they can share it with. So basically, he could mind meld, and you could fail like get like a true, at least from his perspective, a true account of what happened. But because you got that triumph, you know to potentially be wary because you're experiencing this memory from their perspective. Kamasi, they tend to be uh the name Kamasi has been adopted into many different languages across the galaxy, and basically means stranger to be trusted or friend from afar. That's how that's how well liked the Kamasi are. Uh, because there's because this whole memory-sharing thing, any like um having a memory of killing or harming is so strong and so unbearable that it kind of makes them an entire like society of pacifists. But if he is a Jedi, and if he did kill this woman's husband, and he did share that memory with any of you, not being trained in the Kamasi Memni techniques, you would feel an un the unbearable weight of extreme guilt for what he did, and that could cripple you. Like, at least in this encounter. Gotta be careful. So he may be like, oh, I'll show you as a way to make you like uh feel the feel the pain and the guilt of killing this guy so he can escape.
SPEAKER_07Oh. Ushi Shia with Pider.
SPEAKER_01Who has the highest uh discipline?
SPEAKER_07Actually, what is my discipline? I have uh I have a yellow two purple or yellow two green.
SPEAKER_05For discipline?
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I'm not better.
SPEAKER_02Uh so I will say that Chris and Illyria, you each got uh some advantage on your roll. So you you know to be wary, Chris. You could probably add an advantage um or a cala, you got a uh advantage, right?
SPEAKER_07Uh yeah, three advantage.
SPEAKER_02So you could add you could add a blue out of that.
SPEAKER_07Uh no, could I could I roll suppress first just in case?
SPEAKER_02Well, cause here's the thing. The the mem being like stronger with the force is a thing where it's like if you suppress him, he might not even be able to share it at all.
SPEAKER_07Oh god. The void's not gonna get a suck today at all. I mean, I got advantage, I'll let him I'll let him brain blast me. Yeah, do it, memny.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I will I will share with you my memories and you will see that I am innocent. Sure.
SPEAKER_02Sure. Sure.
SPEAKER_07So uh If the masters allow it, uh whatever, I'm doing it.
SPEAKER_05I'm j uh uh at this point you please do it.
SPEAKER_02So what is your discipline then?
SPEAKER_07One yellow, two green. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Um, so do you want to roll yours or do you want to have him roll against you?
SPEAKER_07Uh I'll roll mine. I I don't think I get any bonuses or detriments one way or the other.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so he gets two lights, so he is able to share this with you.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_02So that will be you'll be rolling your discipline against his, so that'll be against four reds.
SPEAKER_07Ooh! I know I just said I don't have anything that benefits me. Do I have anything I've not bought that gives bonuses to discipline? Let's see. I don't think so. I guess oh man, is it a career skill? It's not a career skill. I don't think I could afford to get ranks. Ooh, mmm, I man. That uses up all my bonus XP, but it might be worth it in this case. Do we have any destiny points back?
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah, you have one.
SPEAKER_07Uh yeah, I'll flip it to downgrade one of the reds. Oh, one failure.
SPEAKER_02He shares with you from his perspective what happened, and you see yourself looking out through his eyes, and you can see the Jedi going to see the Gensarai. You can see a diplomatic mission failing and turning into conflict, into a battle, and he is forced to, in self-defense, kill one of the Gensarai, who pr is also wearing a sort of like feline armor, so you get the sense that it was probably this woman's husband. Yeah. And you feel as as that happens, you've you're you're overcome with this intense feeling of guilt and of like you have destroyed a life. This is the first time you've ever felt that you've killed tons of people. This is the first time you've ever felt anything like this, or at least the first time in a long time. Is this the most deal? Well, the the Kamasi are uh, how do you say, uh huge wusses.
SPEAKER_05They're they're uh are are they like one of those empath uh empathy creatures where they like pass their empathy onto you?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he he's basically giving you like all of his empathy and all of his uh horror and violence and all of his uh Luckily for you, I have no shame, so I uh Get the shit out of me. So what this means is that uh if if you do want to strike at him to kill him, you will have to pass a discipline check to do it. Uh is that all of us or just uh Just her, because she's the only one who uh got brain blasted. But it does confirm uh that he did do it. Uh can I arrest him then?
SPEAKER_01You're under arrest.
SPEAKER_02Well, he was sharing the memory with Kala, so Kala would have to say it. Kala, are you even capable of speech at this point?
SPEAKER_07I don't know. What would it be to be capable of speech?
SPEAKER_01Plus no one has told her to say it yet.
SPEAKER_05Uh roll discipline against your own discipline. Kala, please tell me tell us what you saw.
SPEAKER_07Discipline versus discipline.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Uh two failure, one advantage, one despair.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so you were so overcome with uh this feeling of guilt that just collapsed in tears on the ground. Yeah, yeah, this might even like stick with you.
SPEAKER_07Oh no, I can't afford to be having these feelings.
SPEAKER_05Can't can't can't can this can this advantage just kind of make me infer, like, oh yeah, he did it, and then I go and arrest him.
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah, you probably like you see what it did to like that itself is like a suspicious thing. Very suspicious.
SPEAKER_05Uh undo uh I I point I point my uh gun at him, I'm like, undo what you did. You'll need to undo what you've done. The guilt that she feels is tied to her own actions, it has nothing to do with me. Undo what you've done!
SPEAKER_02I will not. Uh, for fuck's sakes.
SPEAKER_05Alright, so you're you're under arrest.
SPEAKER_02I don't think so. And he reaches into his robe and he grabs what's swanging and he pulls out his white saber. I I shoot him in the head. Okay, so he's got two ranks of adversary.
SPEAKER_07A man.
SPEAKER_02So that'll be uh a red and a purple.
SPEAKER_07Oh jeez.
SPEAKER_05Uh ooh, two success and two advantage.
SPEAKER_02Okay. And you're doing that at full power? Yes, absolutely. Okay. He's more of a diplomat than anything, so he doesn't have reflect. Uh, so you can blast him singing through his diplomat's robes.
SPEAKER_05Alright. Alright, and then and uh I just tell him, or is he still alive? Yeah, he's definitely still alive.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I that's my turn, I guess. I think uh Cala, you'll have to sift this one out. You did get that to spare. Like this round or this entire unless you can unless you can I'll allow you to oh to roll against your discipline to overcome it.
SPEAKER_07Okay, let me roll against discipline, because then like I might not be in a mental place to attack him, but I can at least roll it.
SPEAKER_02Because that because that would be your action for the turn.
SPEAKER_07Just rolling my discipline.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and then on your next turn you can do something.
SPEAKER_07Okay. To advantage.
SPEAKER_02I mean, you can start to gather yourself. You can add a blue onto your next attempt.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I'm curled in a ball and I'm just self-soothing now. Kallisette is rubbing a a very soft piece of fabric between our fingers while y'all are fighting.
SPEAKER_05As long as it makes you comfortable, then that's all that matters.
SPEAKER_07That's all that matters.
SPEAKER_05Should we get him to try and like uh surrender, or should we just go for it? I think at this point we should just go go for it. Okay.
SPEAKER_07I don't think he's gonna come quietly.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, no, I think we're we're we're just gonna take him out. He hasn't acted yet this round, has he? I mean, he brain blasted Calsa. Never mind. Never mind.
SPEAKER_06Okay, I will I will uh go for him with the star sword.
SPEAKER_01Or do we want him alive?
SPEAKER_07Nah! I mean, I think I feel like part of the deal with this lady was that he had to die, and then you know I'm the only one who got brain blasted and forced to have empathy, so Okay, so I'll saber him.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Man. Okay, so uh it's got two ranks of adversary, so that'll be against the two reds. Two success two advantage. Okay, so he's not a reflector Jedi, but he is decent at uh parry. So he's going to take three points of strain. He can reduce that by seven. Oh shit. Yeah, which is only three more points of wounds. Illyria.
SPEAKER_03Uh lightsaber him.
SPEAKER_02That'll be the same two reds.
SPEAKER_03Huh. Three advantage. One failure, one despair.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He also brain blasts you. Me and Illyria are both forced to have empathy together.
SPEAKER_02Feelings. Yuck. So with the improved parry, can use that and deal the base damage of a weapon to you. Ooh. Uh, which is 10. Uh, but the base damage of ten? Yeah. Lightsabers have a base damage of ten. Well, his does. He's more of an upgraded one. Uh, but you got your armor with five soak, so effectively it's only five.
SPEAKER_07Yay. Yay.
SPEAKER_03It's only five. Like I get swiped. I say yay.
SPEAKER_02Time to die, finally! And since he is dueling, he is going to like try and do the same trick on all of you. So, this is Chris Kalistars and Ants uh Gensari. Three lights, two darks. So this is uh the power is like it's unique to the Kamasi, but its closest equivalent is the uh influence power.
SPEAKER_07Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02Because basically it's like you're making somebody feel something.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02My emotions. So he's gonna use one power, one light, uh, to use the power, and he's got his magnitude upgrades, which allows him to use one more to uh three more people. That's gonna affect all four of the people who are not Kala. And he's going to spend the third point to use all of his duration upgrades. Oh no. So that means this is gonna last for 20 minutes. Jesus! So this might give him time to escape. Uh so he's gonna do discipline versus discipline against each of you. Starzan, uh, we'll start with you. What's your discipline?
SPEAKER_06Discipline is not great.
SPEAKER_02Uh a yellow and a green. Okay. Uh, three success and a threat. So we can knock that down to 15 minutes. Uh, Illyria, what's your discipline?
SPEAKER_03Uh, two yellow, two green.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Four success, three threats. So we can knock that down to say 10 minutes, two rounds. And Chris, what is your discipline?
SPEAKER_00Two green.
SPEAKER_02Four success. Motherfuckers. And uh sorry, Car. Game on! Two success, two advantage in a triumph. Yeah, so she's feeling a lot of feelings. But Okay, everybody, we all gotta have a little trauma nap. Kala, roll your discipline against discipline.
SPEAKER_07Okay, discipline versus my discipline again.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because he didn't hit you this time.
SPEAKER_07Ah ha ha ha. Come on, you bitch, and the bitch is me. What? Do we have any destiny?
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_07Fuck. Uh best on imitation.
SPEAKER_02Two success, one threat. Ooh. Okay, so you can come out of it. You can see as the others are getting affected by him sharing these memories of violence, like, he's not only shooting you with kind of like vague memories of like the times he's had to to to kill, but he is specifically sharing with you like the the guilt and the like the s the the illness, the nausea that he feels at having to fight you guys.
SPEAKER_07The void's back, baby, let me suck! I suppress.
SPEAKER_02So he's yeah, he's trying to run, he's trying to run out the door.
SPEAKER_07Uh, let's see. I hope this goes better.
SPEAKER_02Um, you got threat on that, so I don't think you can roll right away, but you can still use your maneuver to follow him. Okay, I'll pursue him at least. You can pursue him, and what this means is you'll kinda have to face him alone, because the others are being affected for for several rounds here.
SPEAKER_07Well.
SPEAKER_02But once you're out, uh, you can roll again.
SPEAKER_07Oh, I would have brought my rifle with me, too. Because I guess if uh I'll have that ready.
SPEAKER_02I'll have I'll I'll run with my gun out. Okay. Uh so if you're gonna shoot him, you're running. Um, you still have that that guilt in you. So add two blacks.
SPEAKER_07Two blacks?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Onto at this point he would probably be short range. That'll be a red, a purple, and two blacks.
SPEAKER_07Uh, but I I don't have any force committed, so I can put my force on here. Red, purple, two blacks. Holy moly!
SPEAKER_05Um three despairs.
SPEAKER_07No. Five success, four threat, two light side, one dark side. We don't have any destiny points to use those light sides, so I'll use that one dark side and clear out one of those threats.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so a shot rings out through the halls of the palace, and uh Kamasi brains go flying all over the nice shiny floors.
SPEAKER_07You son of a bitch. I didn't even get I'd suppress ya. That's what you get for trying to make me feel empathy.
SPEAKER_01The voy is in his head now.
SPEAKER_07Go rifling around this bitch's pocket, I'm taking his lightsaber. Fuck you.
SPEAKER_05He tries to blame brain blast you, and you hold up a mirror, and you're like, look upon yourself. Oh, you're rifling through his pockets?
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh oh. Roll me a perception. You find a mousetrap.
SPEAKER_07I hope that there's a framed picture of his family so I can look at it and feel nothing.
SPEAKER_02He was a Jedi.
SPEAKER_07I hope he had a secret family so I can look at it and feel Oh man, that'd be funny.
SPEAKER_02So he's only got two skullduggery, two cunning, so that'll be uh two purple.
SPEAKER_07Oh, maybe this will be the location of Obi-Wan. Two success, one advantage.
SPEAKER_02Hmm, okay.
SPEAKER_01It is Obi-Wan.
SPEAKER_07Man, Obi-Wan's a lot littler than I remember.
SPEAKER_06Hello there.
SPEAKER_07Obi-W like, it's been shrunk. But yeah, you shrunk the Obi-Wan.
SPEAKER_01That's the best way to hide.
SPEAKER_07Get a shrink ray. Yeah, it turns out that all the uh surviving Jedi just got shrunken down. They've been living in a snow globe.
SPEAKER_05Inside of Billy Westfall's mind. Oh no. That's a deep cut. Some people will get that.
SPEAKER_07But I find God.
SPEAKER_02You know what Alderon's deal is.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. You know. Oh, are we gonna find out that the Alderon is. Sheltering s fucking rebels.
SPEAKER_02I mean, it it was sheltering him.
SPEAKER_07Dissenters? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05We we have a full-on investigation of Alderon to We gotta arrest Bael Organa after this. A full-on investigation uh to Alderon. In fact, at a certain point in time, we should just sort of um decommission the entire planet, you know?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, permanently.
SPEAKER_05Permanently.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, if we had some sort of Death Star.
SPEAKER_02It's not much to go on. It is only two success and one advantage. But the Jedi did have on his person a little code written down. And it seems to be like a like a COM channel code or an encrypted network. Ooh. And underneath it is written the word Fulcrum. Fulcrum?
SPEAKER_05You mean like uh the point the point where uh something swings? I forget exactly what it means, but I know what fulcrum means.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, basically.
SPEAKER_05I know things. Uh sometimes.
SPEAKER_07And I'll I'll just take I'll I'm gonna take this lightsaber too, cause fuck this guy, but I'll take this back to um our smarter people. By smarter I mean Illyria. I'll take it back to Illyria.
SPEAKER_05There we go.
SPEAKER_07Is everyone else still uh being racked with bad vibes?
SPEAKER_02Um I think Elyria would be out of it because she was able to kind of resist it more.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I'm still shaking my shits.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, Lyria's still like trembling on the ground. Callisek comes back and throws this paper at her, just like, hey, you know what this means? Look at that. He's dead by.
SPEAKER_03Do I?
SPEAKER_02Uh, roll me computers.
SPEAKER_03Hmm. How many is?
SPEAKER_02Uh we'll say you don't have access to any computer equipment right now, so we'll say it's a three purple and a black.
SPEAKER_03Oops. One threat. Oh.
SPEAKER_02So uh you assume it's the Wi-Fi password for the palace.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's not that important.
SPEAKER_02Is it the Wi-Fi?
SPEAKER_07I don't know if I trust that. I'm gonna let's take this back.
SPEAKER_02You don't know she got threat.
SPEAKER_07I it feels too important to be the Wi-Fi password. I'll tuck it in my pocket. I'm I'll I'll we'll save this for later.
SPEAKER_02Send that to send it to Gray, maybe.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I'll send it to Gray.
SPEAKER_02But you can you can return and uh Organa's there and Oh I I can't believe that that that person would turned out to be a Jedi, how heinous!
SPEAKER_07Oh my god! Uh because fucking Scarcy doing fucking nothing. He's still with us, right?
SPEAKER_02Well he's like back at the ship.
SPEAKER_07Ah, bitch. Just uh uh, I think we gotta put you under arrest, Organa.
SPEAKER_02What? But I didn't do anything. You're a harbor and Jedi. Not n not intentionally, you must understand, but No, I'm I'm sure.
SPEAKER_07But you know, we'll have a little question. We'll go, you know, do we'll talk with SBI can have a word with you. Just make sure that everything's on the up and up and there's nothing else of concern.
SPEAKER_02Of course, of course. I've had the ISB rifling through my affairs before.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, we'll have them rifling through again.
SPEAKER_02I have nothing to hide, so I have nothing to feel.
SPEAKER_07Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Is there any way we could help everyone get back to normal or Chris and Starz ain't coming out of it now?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, after i it's just a time thing eventually they they come out of it.
SPEAKER_05I have so many people to apologize to.
SPEAKER_07No, you don't. Come on, let's go.
SPEAKER_05So many mothers of daughters that I have slept with.
SPEAKER_07But you slept with the mothers or the daughters, or both. If it was both, then yeah, you probably have to do some apologizing.
SPEAKER_05I I tried really hard to get as many people as I could concurrently or in succession? It was in succession, but like I would be done, and then I would have to go to the next room, and then I would It's like a factory line, just like okay, here we go. I wouldn't tell them they would be uh the first person would be asleep, and I would tell the other person, I'm just getting ready.
unknownOh god.
SPEAKER_07Chris, you live a you live a shameful life and you should feel ashamed.
SPEAKER_05That was all that was only like four years ago. That's that's a lifetime.
SPEAKER_07I'm pretty sure that's like when we started this. Chris, I think we were living together at that time. Was this time we were all living together?
SPEAKER_05Was your mother's there? Listen, was your mother's there? Oh yeah, right, she's dead. Never mind. Sorry.
SPEAKER_07Hey, you weren't supposed to be looking into that stuff, hey.
SPEAKER_05Oh, wait, never mind.
SPEAKER_07We don't look at each other's path. Your friends don't look into each other's shadowy paths. Oh, exactly.
SPEAKER_02That's bro code. Exactly, let's go. And Bale's like, should I be putting myself into cuffs or now coffee, come over, yeah. Get out of here. This this what a queer situation. Stop saying that. Those rumors are unfounded.
SPEAKER_07Who told you? Who told? Okay, yeah, let's uh let's load them up, let's fucking head home.
SPEAKER_02So you have destroyed Ylenic Edkla and secured the Gen Sarai for the Imperial Knight, and uh once the Sarai Car takes her place on your council, of course, if you want to get the move power, hell yeah. You will be able to get the mentor discount because she is an expert in ballisticinesis.
SPEAKER_05When I move, you move.
SPEAKER_02Just like that? Just like that. Hell yeah. Hey DJ, bring that back. But you can take Bale Organa back to Coruscant, throw him in the slammer, he'll be back on the street before lunch. We're not very good at our jobs being cops. But you can uh pass also send a lot of fulcrum information.
SPEAKER_05We caught him, okay? We caught him, we brought him into jail, we brought in our evidence, and you know, privil privilege got him out, I'm pretty sure.
SPEAKER_02And find yourselves, to be certain, mixed up in yet another queer situation next time on Star Wars Empire Wreckers. This week's episode is brought to you by our top patrons, Alphabros 522, David B, Eric Charles Perazzo, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Matthew Lynette, Suki Nintendo, Thomas Davidson, and Vaginator.