S14E05 - Witch Hunt

Transcript

SPEAKER_07 0:00

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Wreckers, the Star Wars actual play podcast that has very strong opinions about the I'm a Mac and I'm a PC television commercials. Who's ready to kill Justin Long for having that smug attitude today?

SPEAKER_12 0:18

Uh Cala set's ready to kill Justin Long for having that smug attitude. Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter who's a Mac and who's a PC. What matters is how Cala can reach a dealer and whatever they're using.

SPEAKER_05 0:32

Uh bonjour, uh je m'appelle Cressant, and uh whether or not you have an Apple or you have an Android or you have a Blackberry, as long as you call me anytime.

SPEAKER_13 0:47

Starzan will never be friends with Justin Long after Justin Long betrayed Starzan. Starzan spent almost two hours watching a movie called Barbarian when there were no barbarian.

SPEAKER_10 1:06

And Deliria thinks that Mac and PC should come to an agreement that Macs are full of themselves. Uh one yellow against three, uh three threat. That was my leadership role. There you go.

SPEAKER_07 1:24

And if you think that the virgin Justin Long and the Chad John Hodgman should just kiss and get together and make us all happy, then why don't you come along with us to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, in Star Wars! What was lost has been found. After unlocking the genetic memories of joiner descendant Oldrish, the Imperial Knights discovered the location of Kesh, an ancient and forgotten Sith world. Traveling to the planet, the Knights discovered a society governed by a brutal Sith doctrine and ruled by the descendants of the original Sith lords who once split from the Jedi Order. After falling prey to politics and being framed for an assassination, the Knights were forced to flee the planet, which is sure to see swift justice in the hands of the Empire.

SPEAKER_12 2:13

I mean, I do like the phrasing of us being framed for an assassination as if Kala did not, in fact, shoot that guy in the head. Hey now.

SPEAKER_10 2:23

Look, we can just go fuck shit up, leave, send an army to take care of them.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

Yeah, exactly. No bullshit. I didn't assassinate anybody this week, uh.

SPEAKER_12 2:31

Look, I uh I may have done the assassination, but I was dope.

SPEAKER_07 2:36

I was tricked. You didn't you didn't even pull the trigger. The uh the old man.

SPEAKER_12 2:39

Yeah, that's right. That old man pulled the trigger. I didn't do it. I didn't I've never done anything wrong ever.

SPEAKER_10 2:46

I did not. You did not.

SPEAKER_07 2:48

I noticed.

SPEAKER_12 2:50

I did not shoot him!

SPEAKER_07 2:51

Uh but after that uh successful question mark mission can have returned to Querscent. Uh now with Argo Thrustmaster of the Star Wars joining your Knight's Council, making the second addition uh to your group after after the Sarai Kar of the Gensarai.

SPEAKER_12 3:12

Man, it is going slow recruiting people.

SPEAKER_07 3:14

Yeah. Welcome to the family. Um and after, you know, submitting all of your necessary reports, Sarai Kar, she and Anakin uh decided to take a group of the Gensarai as well as the 501st, Anakin's uh favorite clone trooper legion, to Kesh to uh deal with what you guys found there.

SPEAKER_12 3:35

Oh, that's good. Maybe they're just gonna murder everyone. We can only hope.

SPEAKER_07 3:39

Only hope. Uh Argo spends most of his time in the Star Map room going over uh old charts rediscovering backdoor hyper lanes used by pirates as a uh member of the Star Wardens. He is something of a pirate hunter making passes at Illyria.

SPEAKER_12 3:58

Uh, gonna say I was like, right, he was like really hitting on Illyria a lot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:05

How successful was he? Can we roll for that?

SPEAKER_12 4:07

Probably not very was he more or less successful than Tom Foolery.

SPEAKER_10 4:12

I like there's a bunch of memes about people doing tabletop RPGs to flirt with their friends, whereas in our case it's like getting sexually harassed by your friends.

SPEAKER_12 4:22

There you go. Hello, I would like to sexually harass. No, I feel pretty. Okay, is it being sexually harassed by your friends or just the one friend that we would exchange sexual harassment?

SPEAKER_05 4:38

Blame God.

SPEAKER_07 4:39

Don't blame us. Yes.

SPEAKER_10 4:41

We just do the regular harassment to the rest of us.

SPEAKER_07 4:45

I introduce two characters. One is a CAD, the other is just a normal woman, and you all start immediately sexually harassing her.

SPEAKER_12 4:54

Oh yeah, where it's just like we sit on either side of her. Oh yeah. Yeah, you're we're all just as bad as each other.

SPEAKER_07 5:03

That's why you're in the Imperial Knights. Starzand. Speaking of sexual harassment. Yeah. Before you uh went on this wild Bantha chase to track down uh some connection to the Sith, which turned out to be maybe not exactly what you were after. Chris, you did pass along uh Zinn's contact information to Renala because potentially uh there may be some more witches of Dathomir out there that survived uh Grievous' purge.

SPEAKER_11 5:32

Oh yeah. Interesting.

SPEAKER_07 5:34

Now that you're back from your mission, uh Are we on again or off again?

SPEAKER_05 5:41

I'm gonna say on again this time. You're on again. Well why not? I don't know if that was the question that you were gonna ask, but I assume. It felt like it because it's the question that we were all thinking.

SPEAKER_10 5:52

Do you want to flirt with Eden today or do you not want to flirt with Eden today?

SPEAKER_05 5:56

I was about to say, it was I I feel like it has been a question in the beginning of every episode of season two so far, so it's nice to have a change every once in a while.

SPEAKER_12 6:04

Yeah, you and Eden can pretend to kiss today. Yes.

SPEAKER_07 6:08

I'm on a buttercup. And I finished my Squidward lollipop, so my lips are free. Number one. He says romance is dead. But uh Scossy, your uh administrator, arrives in the council chambers and he's and he and he s speaks specifically to you, Chris, and he says, A Mistress Zinkudri has arrived at the temple.

SPEAKER_05 6:33

Uh I uh I uh go up to her and I just say, and I'm just like, it is an honor to meet you, Mon Sherry.

SPEAKER_07 6:41

And she kind of pushes past Scotch Scotsi, she comes out of the turbo lift and she says, Meet? Do you mean like M-E-A-T? Like we are going to meet in one of these back room closets?

SPEAKER_05 6:52

I was saying meet as in I'm gonna give you the meat later today. Oh, no, what you say, what you say is lots more subtle. Let's do that.

SPEAKER_12 7:06

Yeah, it's the rest of us all standing around a corner being like Dear Inquirer.

SPEAKER_04 7:14

There's probably some uh Chrissont blog somewhere keeping track of his dating lights.

SPEAKER_05 7:21

Look, one of us has to be getting laid. Am I an influencer? How many uh Instagram followers do I have?

SPEAKER_07 7:26

The Empire's most eligible bitch. You can see like a droid like floating outside the window of the temple.

SPEAKER_12 7:34

Ooh, Chris with a confirmed girlfriend. The Instagram followers aren't gonna like that.

SPEAKER_05 7:39

Uh Bob just salt sluts. Uh, welcome back. What did you just say? Saltz? Salt Slutz. I tried to come up with a name, and I'm like, that'll do.

SPEAKER_12 7:53

I mean, I think at the beginning of this season it was established that uh Chris is the tabloid darling as the um the most handsome and uh charming of the Imperial Knights. The rest of us are just weird.

SPEAKER_07 8:06

Well, it's the JT of the group. Wow. There is a lot of uh ethnationalism going on with Starzan, but I mean what a specimen.

SPEAKER_12 8:16

Yeah, Chris is the tabloid darling. Uh Starzan is the favorite of the human supremacists, and Cala and Elyria are also here.

SPEAKER_07 8:27

But Zin says, uh, Chris, not to be indelicate, but was there a reason you called, or did you just want me inside your hallowed halls?

SPEAKER_05 8:37

And then I go, in character, not actually in the game right now. Uh, what were we doing here again? What?

SPEAKER_12 8:47

With Zinn coming to meet? Oh. Oh like this. Like, why are we uh why are we still out here? Why are we not already in a broom closet?

SPEAKER_05 8:56

This uh uh this the beauty has made me forget ever uh everything. Smooth recovery.

SPEAKER_12 9:03

Also, having Zin in your hallowed halls, is that like her inviting you for a pegging? Hey man, we it's only fair. It's only fair. Look, Chris is a freak, Zin's down to clown. We make each other happy, sometimes we break up. Yeah. It's complicated. It's just a cycle.

SPEAKER_05 9:24

What do you say, Chris? Do you have to go? There was one morning where uh where I was on my phone in bed and she went into the uh frame of the door and says, I think I'm breaking up with you this week. And I'm like, Alright, see you next week.

SPEAKER_12 9:37

It's Ben. What do you what do you think, Chris? Do you have to go scurry away to a broom closet with Zen before we find out why she's here?

SPEAKER_10 9:46

You think she'd be happy with a quickie?

SPEAKER_12 9:50

I mean it would hold her over until later.

SPEAKER_05 9:52

I mean, uh for now for now, but uh let's let's remain uh let's remain professional and wait until uh after you tell us this pertinent information, because it depends on whether or not it's time sensitive.

SPEAKER_12 10:06

Yeah, let's all pretend like you and Eden can resist this simmering sexual tension and move on with the story.

SPEAKER_07 10:11

Yeah, the the door to the turbulence shaft opens and Renola comes out and she says, actually, I called her here. Oh, hi. We want lesson and N. No.

SPEAKER_05 10:21

Uh what do uh what are you? Uh what is uh is the meaning of Zis?

SPEAKER_07 10:26

Well, I I invited her here because uh that whole your seems like your your previous mission, you didn't come back with any extra people. Uh why? None of my business, but I mean I thought you I thought that was the whole point was to go and collect them.

SPEAKER_10 10:39

We came back with the pervert.

SPEAKER_12 10:40

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_10 10:41

That was wild.

SPEAKER_12 10:42

Well well, you know, we were hoping to, and then there's a whole like framing us for a political assassination and trying to get us killed. Uh you know, I I also I think they just kinda sucked. They sucked.

SPEAKER_07 10:54

What what sucked about them? Like I read the report, like what, that they're tough on crime? The Empire's tough on crime. We're tough on crime, you're tough on crime.

SPEAKER_12 11:03

I mean, we're not like death sentence for robbery tough on crime, though. Oh, you don't get out much. Huh?

unknown 11:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 11:11

What do you but? I mean, they gotta go clean up the underlevels, don't they? Well, no.

SPEAKER_10 11:16

When else am I gonna get my bio?

SPEAKER_12 11:18

And then also they were like, Oh, look, I'm not saying I'm taking it sen I'm not I'm not saying I'm taking it personally, but it's like they were all like real eugenics-y, and one of the guys there, like, he was just like, Oh, Calassette, you are so fa I've never met anyone so fascinating, and I was like, Oh, he's hitting on me, and then he's like fascinatingly ugly, and I'm like, Oh, never mind.

SPEAKER_07 11:39

Oh, if they insulted you personally, that's fine. But yeah, I mean the eugenics thing, like, haven't you you've seen all the stuff about Starzan?

SPEAKER_12 11:45

Well, yeah, but that's like, you know, certain people, a certain weirdos.

SPEAKER_05 11:49

Also, we are a group uh diverse group of people. Why not uh be a diverse group of people? I feel like oh degru uh diversity makes us better.

SPEAKER_07 12:02

Sounds like woke trash to me, to be honest, but uh that's why I'm not a master, I guess. That's why I'm not on the council.

SPEAKER_05 12:09

Uh I I am awake usually in the afternoon, yes.

SPEAKER_12 12:12

Look, Renelli, like you're real insistent that it's like, oh yeah, the boss, but like the majority of your bosses are non-humans. Like, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_07 12:18

I'm not sure about that. I mean, I've had sex with a lot of aliens, but I'm just gonna say that there's a reason that they call you aliens, while they call me human.

SPEAKER_05 12:27

I don't I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_11 12:29

Uh Okay. Um I mean that's your gonna tell me what that means?

SPEAKER_05 12:36

I don't know if that uh is that a thing.

SPEAKER_10 12:38

I mean, we're all people.

SPEAKER_05 12:40

Chris?

SPEAKER_12 12:40

Yeah, it's like I don't call me an alien, Ranala. This sounds like a you problem that you need to be sorting out with yourself.

SPEAKER_07 12:49

D didn't you uh maybe maybe I didn't, you know, read the reports right, but before before the knights were founded, weren't you involved in busting up uh immigration camps at a spaceport?

SPEAKER_12 12:59

What no? No. We were helping a Jedi that was like having to manage a situation. Well not helping. We will you know he had a secret family, it was a whole thing. It was It was complicated. It's a whole thing. Well, you've been fucking reading up on us for now, like get out of our business.

SPEAKER_07 13:14

I mean, I do have to send regular reports back to the Emperor's office.

SPEAKER_12 13:17

Well, okay, like you have to send what are you sending reports on though?

SPEAKER_07 13:21

Well just you know how your missions are going, how uh you but Master Skywalker.

SPEAKER_10 13:25

They're going as well as possible in the circumstances. Wait, if you've been spoken to the city, we were trying to broker peace and spine They were killing each other. And then they killed killing us! Oh my god!

SPEAKER_04 13:37

Are are our adventures being modern for quality assurance purposes?

SPEAKER_07 13:43

Well, yeah, you can't just have no oversight. That was what uh let the Jedi become so corrupt. Oversight?

SPEAKER_11 13:50

Wait, wait, okay. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_12 13:53

Um, at what point were you gonna let us know that you were apparently our minder? Well, I thought you knew. No! Why would we know that? Why would we assume that our Undering is spying on us? I've been CCing you on all the reports. Have you read your emails? I we're busy. We're busy, we're getting out and doing stuff. We don't have time for that. Just a pile of emails. I don't even know if Sazai knows how to work a computer.

SPEAKER_10 14:19

Oh, they got flagged as uh junk mail on mine.

SPEAKER_05 14:22

You get five in a row from the same person. You think they're all saying the same thing. It's a it's it's it's a nightmare to look at Zet.

SPEAKER_12 14:28

Yeah, it's like, you know, your your manager sends out a daily report. You're not actually reading every single one of those, it's just a waste of time.

SPEAKER_07 14:36

Okay, well that's that's a you thing. Um, but do you want to know why I called Zin here? Why did you call Zin here? The witches of Dathomir. Might be useful to recruit into our into into the knighthood, try and salvage what's left of their magic after they were grievously destroyed by the separatists.

SPEAKER_10 14:56

Fantastic. Zinn, do you have any beef with people with any of the witches of Dapomir that we should know about before we go there?

SPEAKER_07 15:04

Well, most of my people, uh they are dead.

SPEAKER_05 15:08

Okay. What about these people? Are they Copacetic?

SPEAKER_07 15:12

My my speeder, my swoop group, the the white witches. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:16

Sorry, swoop group group is kind of awesome.

SPEAKER_07 15:20

You met them. Yeah, we remember. I know, but I just love the word swoop group. Well when uh Grievous attacked Dathamir, most of them they went back to help fight. I couldn't because I had my job with the Senate, we were going traveling. But uh I think they all died, and uh but Renala has an idea, and she pulls out this little necklace, this little round pendant necklace.

SPEAKER_12 15:45

Okay, nice little doohickey. What is it, uh doohickey?

SPEAKER_07 15:49

Well, uh Chris does the hickeys, but uh this is a talisman of finding.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

I cheered. Hell yeah, dog. That when we leave Dathomir, no matter where we are, we are able to find our way back to our home again.

SPEAKER_12 16:04

Okay. Like, would this just lead you back to uh Dathomir and or would this lead you back to like your people? What a new home.

SPEAKER_05 16:12

Well, Dathomir is uh a dead place now. So maybe your new home is with us. You don't know, do you? No, you don't know.

SPEAKER_12 16:21

Unless, you know, you're about to drop the revelation that the pendant's been uh pinging ya to go somewhere.

SPEAKER_05 16:27

Every time you meet every time you mention it, I'm getting closer and closer to it.

SPEAKER_07 16:33

Just I I take a step toward. She she pulls it out off of her neck and she puts it on her palm. And it kind of like so it's this little circular pendant and it's got these uh like carved sort of etchings into it that are sort of like in a chevron shape, so it does have like a direction that it's pointing. Okay. And as she puts it on her palm, she does a sort of soft rhythmic chanting, sort of almost under her breath, and it lifts up and the etchings begin glowing green a little bit, and the the pendant almost like a Ouija board begins sort of rotating to point Well, away from Chris. Uh oh.

SPEAKER_12 17:18

Maybe next time you're on again, Chris.

SPEAKER_05 17:21

I just start work walking toward the direction. Try to insert yourself in front of the arrows. That this is me saying, like, if it's pointing to a place, I can go to that place if need be.

SPEAKER_12 17:34

Is this your way of trying to tell Zinn that you don't want to be just casual anymore? You no longer want to be a situation ship?

SPEAKER_05 17:41

In in so many in words, aka in almost no words, but in a meag a meek, meager action.

SPEAKER_07 17:49

Chris is known for being meek and meager.

SPEAKER_12 17:52

He's eekin' eager. Ow my eekin ears. Okay, is there any way of us telling uh where that might be pointing to? Like, can we reference that to a star map or something? Like, it's just a a direction, right?

SPEAKER_07 18:05

Yeah, if you want to head to the uh the observatories and the uh let's head to the observatories.

SPEAKER_05 18:12

If this if this is where you will feel that most at home, then we shall uh the then we shall ride there.

SPEAKER_12 18:19

Maybe it'll be very romantic you two getting to hang out under the star maps together.

SPEAKER_05 18:23

But first, um uh I have to go get some toilet paper from the closet.

SPEAKER_07 18:30

I could stop by uh broom closet on the way to the to the observatory. And as you as you enter the uh observatory, uh Argo is there, poring over star maps, checking his telescopes, uh, and he says, Ah, Allyria, you've come to spend the evening with me under the stars?

SPEAKER_05 18:52

Not likely. We're here to find a new home for the wit for the Death Amir.

SPEAKER_07 18:57

And he uh looks back and he sees uh and he says, Oh, spooky.

SPEAKER_12 19:04

Wait, Zin is Zin's spooky and Elyria with her unblinking red eyes, that's your type? No offense, Elyria. I I feel like we've we've established a creepy mana.

SPEAKER_07 19:18

Well he's a he's a duro, he's got blue skin and red eyes.

SPEAKER_12 19:22

Uh, they both got a creepy mana.

SPEAKER_05 19:23

Listen, you've net you've never lived until you've met with a big titty goth girl.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Well, maybe I've lived then. Maybe I haven't.

SPEAKER_05 19:33

I I look at him as if to say, like, oh, you have stories, but I'm like, that's not important right now. Let's continue on with this mission.

SPEAKER_12 19:40

Stories of big titty goth GFs of old. Uh-huh. The tales.

SPEAKER_01 19:45

Let's just say that I'm no stranger to uh having blue myself.

SPEAKER_11 19:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

Um B L U E.

SPEAKER_10 19:56

Yes, we got that. We got that.

SPEAKER_11 19:58

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 19:59

Um, let's look at the maps. Sometimes uh something I see during section. Anyway, sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_12 20:06

No, hey. Uh let's check the star maps.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

Oh, you got a map for me to take a look at.

SPEAKER_12 20:13

Must you, but like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're part of the yeah you're part of the team now, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:18

Alright, so hand it over. Let's hand it over. We hand over the map, whoever which one of us has it.

SPEAKER_07 20:23

Zinn uh kind of reluctantly hands it to Argo and he says, uh. We'll we'll keep a close eye. Yeah. Yeah, this ain't a map.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

Ooh, what is it?

SPEAKER_07 20:32

A mystery. Uh yeah. I don't know. It seems like just uh any kind of he's holding it by the little chain and it's pointing, and he says, Well it seems more like a compass. Ooh, a compass.

SPEAKER_12 20:42

Do you know how to use those Argo?

SPEAKER_01 20:44

Uh, I mean, this big Jedi computer probably does. Let me just open palm, slam it in there, see what happens.

SPEAKER_07 20:51

Okay, let's see. So he like presses a button on the terminal, and this compartment opens, and he puts it in, and the temple's computer starts analyzing it and reading it, and in order to figure out where it's pointing, it will require astrogation rule.

SPEAKER_09 21:09

Oh yeah. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

And uh Argo, he says, uh, be my guest, mistress.

SPEAKER_10 21:14

I don't touch that.

SPEAKER_05 21:17

I guess that is just sigh. That should that should that sh we should have known.

SPEAKER_10 21:22

I just sigh.

SPEAKER_12 21:24

Just like, uh. You gotta get rid of this guy. Why did you save his life? Yeah, I wasn't here for this decision. Why did you save him?

SPEAKER_10 21:32

Well, because we weren't coming back with anybody else, so. How many astrogation?

SPEAKER_07 21:37

The talisman, like, it is pointing, but it it is kind of like uh a little bit vague. So, in order to find where this thing is pointing, it'll be a two purple and a black astrogation.

SPEAKER_10 21:50

I would upgrade my astrogation, but it's like not a career skill, you know. One success.

SPEAKER_07 21:55

Okay. So with that one success, you don't have any. Additional insights, uh, but you don't really, you know, lose anything from it either. But you can follow where this talisman compass is pointing, and it locks on to a planet called Lotho Minor. Lotho Minor. Yeah, Lotho Minor.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

And Argo says, Lotho Minor, I heard of that place. But have you heard about it?

SPEAKER_00 22:24

Well, it's uh Galactic Junkyard. What do you say junk?

SPEAKER_07 22:28

Well, whatever people dump there, this thing doesn't really belong to anybody. It's uh in the western reaches in the outer rim.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Last I heard, it was kind of uh under the control of a uh pirate. Do you know which one? Yeah, it's a Nemoidean prick. Name uh name a duel.

SPEAKER_07 22:45

O Duel? Acar Duel. I think he was uh ex-trade federation. According to what I heard, he absconded with a landing craft and his own personal army of droids and has been pillaging the western reaches. Nobody's been able to uh figure out where he had his base though, but Lotho Minor would make sense.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

I feel as though we have a first point of contact.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

Yeah, I don't haven't heard anything about any witches, but if there's any Covens uh spooky babes on Lotho Minor, he'd probably be the one guy who would know, since I don't think uh anyone else really lives there.

SPEAKER_05 23:19

Okay. Uh do d does he have a posse? Do we have uh do you know if we have to beware of company?

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Well, like I said, he uh pillages with uh his army of droids.

SPEAKER_07 23:31

He's probably if he did take off with a Trade Federation lander, I think he's got some, you know, droid star fighters. He seems to have hyperspace capabilities. I don't know if he's recruited any other people into his group, but uh Should we do some uh uh what's it called?

SPEAKER_05 23:47

Should should we do some uh E EMPs if he has all droids? Yeah, EMT sounds like a grand idea. Just in case. Because, you know, he might be angry when we see him.

SPEAKER_07 23:59

And Scassie, who's been lurking, says, I can procure equipment from the clone forces that is effective against droids.

SPEAKER_11 24:09

Oh, cool. Thank you, Scassie.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

I live to serve.

SPEAKER_05 24:13

Oh, don't say it like that. Don't don't say it.

SPEAKER_11 24:16

Hey, Scassie, quick cue, have you been spying on us too?

SPEAKER_00 24:19

Not spying, merely observing.

SPEAKER_05 24:21

That's spying.

SPEAKER_11 24:23

Well, you've been observing.

SPEAKER_07 24:25

Your actions, your deeds, and your words. Us in the shower.

SPEAKER_04 24:31

Our deeds are not that great.

SPEAKER_12 24:33

And uh, hey, Scassie, I I'm just curious what uh what your assessment is. I feel like I've uh learned a lot about Renala today. What uh what are you feeling?

SPEAKER_01 24:42

Oh, it is not my place to make the judgments.

SPEAKER_07 24:45

I merely inquire and uh I pass my findings back to the Emperor's office.

SPEAKER_12 24:52

Okay, but one of your masters has just told you to make a judgment, so why don't you go ahead and make a judgment for me?

SPEAKER_04 24:57

Oh, why don't you go ahead and do what you're told? No, he fucking didn't. Do you love me?

SPEAKER_00 25:06

You wish for my personal opinion of your performance?

SPEAKER_12 25:10

Yeah, sure, Scarcy. While we're here, while I'm thinking about it, while the person portraying me is a little on edge, why don't you tell me?

SPEAKER_07 25:17

Breaking some four walls here. Fourth walls here.

SPEAKER_00 25:20

Well, if you want my honest opinion, I would say that the knights get the most work done when you are out of the temple.

SPEAKER_10 25:27

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Master Skywalker is putting his best foot forward, but I don't see what the Emperor sees in you.

SPEAKER_05 25:36

Well, he's gotta put his best foot forward because he's only got one good hand, so it is because of my it is because of uh uh what we brought, that's they the Empire is still alive. It is because of what we what we have done, you uh you little shit.

SPEAKER_12 25:52

Yeah, you don't like Cassie, maybe if you ever came out in the field with us, you would actually like get your hands dirty for a change and then you would see what we do in.

SPEAKER_05 25:59

You might not kill Yoda and not s turn your nose down on us, you fucking dwelp.

SPEAKER_07 26:06

Perhaps I would have time if I didn't have to scrub weed stench out of the council chamber walls every day.

SPEAKER_12 26:13

You don't have to do it. You would just let it summarinate.

SPEAKER_05 26:16

If you wanted to join me in my join me in my extracurricular activities, all you have to do is ask!

SPEAKER_10 26:22

Are you telling me that Master Skywalker is not also responsible for that weed smell?

SPEAKER_12 26:28

Yeah. Also, like, why are you doing droid work? That just sounds like a skill issue.

SPEAKER_07 26:32

Master Skywalker has returned nearly two dozen fallen Jedi lightsabers to this temple. Why not Master Skywalker?

SPEAKER_09 26:41

That's not our job. We're looking for teachers.

SPEAKER_05 26:44

We're doing different stuff, you weirdo. Why are you gonna be we're we're all offended right now. You motherfucker, listen.

SPEAKER_12 26:52

What do you do even know?

SPEAKER_05 26:54

You don't know us. We barely know you. It's it feels as though you're just uh disgusted at us because we're a little bit uh We are clearly doing different jobs.

SPEAKER_10 27:05

We're not hunting down other rogue Jedi. We are trying to broker peace deals between unreasonable people who frame us for murder.

SPEAKER_12 27:14

Yeah, we're trying to like rebuild the uh the the Imperial Knights. Anakin's doing important work, but it doesn't devalue what we're trying to do.

SPEAKER_10 27:22

You asked for my personal opinion that Well, your opinion's uneducated.

SPEAKER_12 27:28

That's a wrong opinion to hold, Scarcy. Thank you for sharing.

SPEAKER_10 27:31

Wait, who's this guy?

SPEAKER_12 27:33

Thank you for sharing. I know I did request that you shared. I appreciate your honesty, and I hope that you appreciate uh that you're incorrect.

SPEAKER_07 27:40

Anyways, it will not impede my ability to serve the Empire.

SPEAKER_10 27:46

Yeah, if Well, if your only job is to scrub weed off the walls, then you're doing a good job, baro.

SPEAKER_12 27:52

What are you doing when we're not here? What's your job? Aside from spying.

SPEAKER_07 27:57

If you must know, I have been tinkering.

SPEAKER_12 27:59

Oh, what have you been tinkering with? Okay, I'm interested again. Fuck's sakes. Sorry, we're stuck here now. We're stuck here, I'm stuck in a loop. Alright, let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

What are you tinkering, Liz?

SPEAKER_07 28:13

As you may or may not know, before I joined this August body, I was a guard at the Jedi Temple, and am familiar with their lightsaber pikes, but I felt that the weapons of the Imperial Knight could serve to be more robust. So if it pleases you, I have created this. And he kind of reaches behind, unclips something off the back of his belt, and he holds it out.

SPEAKER_12 28:36

What is it?

SPEAKER_07 28:37

It appears to be a double-bladed lightsaber uh with a blade ring kind of around it. And he says, If you would allow me to demonstrate, Masters. He turns it on, the blades pop out, he presses another button on it, and then it starts spinning like a fucking helicopter. Oh does he take off like every poppins with it? Does he do that maneuver? No, he's just holding it out straight. I thought it would be something that would allow the newer recruits to have an edge in combat should they encounter any Jedi.

SPEAKER_12 29:13

Oh. Okay, that is cool. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_10 29:16

I suppose if they are lesser disciplined. But like thank you for your contribution.

SPEAKER_12 29:22

Thank you for your contribution. Thank you for your canda. Anyway, see you later, Scasi.

SPEAKER_11 29:26

Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_07 29:26

Do you still want those anti-droid weapons?

SPEAKER_12 29:30

Oh, yes, please, please, and thank you.

SPEAKER_07 29:31

I will have them delivered to your ship.

SPEAKER_11 29:33

Cool.

SPEAKER_05 29:34

Goodbye. Bye. Do you think he was inspired by a helicopter deck? I would be inspired by a helicopter deck.

SPEAKER_12 29:41

Oh, we've all been inspired by that. It's an inspiring thing to see. If someone could like really get it going until they just take off from the crown like Merrick happens.

SPEAKER_10 29:51

I don't understand. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_12 29:53

Helicopter Richard.

SPEAKER_04 29:55

He's a uh very spinny guy. Maybe, maybe uh what was his name? Skinny penis can do that. Fargo. Or uh flat flat dick Swayze.

SPEAKER_10 30:05

His name is Skinny Penis, not Sharp Penis, so.

SPEAKER_04 30:08

Skinny penis.

SPEAKER_12 30:12

Anyway, shall we also go to our ship and uh go find whoever it is we're finding?

SPEAKER_10 30:19

Yeah. So The Witches of Dathamir?

SPEAKER_07 30:22

Yeah, hopefully. At the very least, there's a pirate out there who it's probably a good idea to get rid of. Let's go to Lothomina. You can go once you uh arrive at your ship. You can see Scossie b bowing lower than he usually does as he as as you kind of board uh he's supplicating himself to you. And you can see uh crates of weapons have been put onto the ship. What kind of weapons? How many?

SPEAKER_10 30:48

Android droid weapons.

SPEAKER_07 30:50

Yeah. Uh so there are there's a crate of uh Mark II EMP grenades. So you can take uh as many as you think you would need. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 31:04

Like three.

SPEAKER_07 31:05

Uh there's also a rack of uh DC series weapons.

SPEAKER_11 31:12

I'm pretty happy with my gun. I won't be taking any of those.

SPEAKER_07 31:16

Yeah, so there's a uh DDC MR6 modular rifles, uh DC-15 and DC-15A blasters, and uh DC-17 hand blasters. Frequently used by the clones.

SPEAKER_09 31:29

Yeah, I'll just carry one EMP grenade because Oh, no, I can carry more because I'll take two, I guess. Because I only have two extra.

SPEAKER_04 31:43

Woo! The idea that like you're strong enough to carry two grenades, but not three.

SPEAKER_11 31:51

Yeah, after that you get sleepy, you get sleepy.

SPEAKER_07 31:54

Well, I mean, like a backpack and a belt provide you extra encumbrance. So it's just like you're running out of places to put them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:01

Oh yeah. I know where you can put them. Right up your ass. That'd be the best way to fucking depone a robot. It's like, you look like you're a captain. Oh yeah. Well. I'm just gonna clench my cheeks and let the blood grenade go off. That's how you become a suicide bomber. Well, would it really kill you if you're gonna do it?

SPEAKER_12 32:23

I guess that's an EMP grenade.

SPEAKER_04 32:24

Yeah, you'd be fine. You just get a tingle in your butthole. As long as you don't have a pacemaker. Wait, wait, don't encourage him, don't encourage him.

SPEAKER_12 32:31

We'll do it on purpose now.

SPEAKER_07 32:32

I mean, humans are vulnerable to electricity.

SPEAKER_12 32:36

That's true. That is true. Maybe follings would just get a tingle in the butthole. You don't know. Maybe that'll become the new uh spike thing that Zen and Chris use to spice up the bedroom.

SPEAKER_05 32:50

We are looking for more ideas.

SPEAKER_12 32:51

What if you put an EMP grenade inside me?

SPEAKER_04 32:55

It's like a Bedwell ball is metataser. Excuse me?

SPEAKER_07 33:00

Yeah, Panthstar is just using one as a chew toy.

SPEAKER_04 33:04

Oh yeah, Panthstar! Yes, Panthar is here.

SPEAKER_12 33:07

I keep forgetting that Panthstar is here. He's very quiet. Smighty himself. It kind of blends in.

SPEAKER_05 33:13

I do appreciate how this uh this Q essentially really hates us.

SPEAKER_12 33:18

What, Scossy?

SPEAKER_05 33:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 33:20

I mean maybe he was-he just thinks you're doing a bad job.

SPEAKER_12 33:23

How about how about we hate him then?

SPEAKER_11 33:26

We can hate him.

SPEAKER_07 33:28

You can hate him, that's fine.

SPEAKER_11 33:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 33:29

So since you've already found uh the planet, you can head straight to Lotho Minor. Though knowing that there is a pirate making his base there, if you want to make an Astrogation rule to uh try and approach in a certain way, you can do that for two purple.

SPEAKER_10 33:47

Astrogation?

SPEAKER_07 33:48

Yeah. Yeah. You can do it.

SPEAKER_10 33:50

I can do it. Three success, one advantage. Heck yeah, you can.

SPEAKER_07 33:55

Okay, so how how do you want to approach? So uh Lotho Minor is a junk world. Um based on the information you can get uh from your astrogation. It is ringed by a sort of uh a field of junk and debris that is just kind of hanging out in orbit. The planet itself is kind of difficult to scan because there are frequent radiation spikes from the various uh pieces of detritus that is that have been left over, as well as uh electrical storms, acid rain, all kinds of stuff that could potentially cause havoc.

SPEAKER_12 34:34

Okay, so if we're kind of looking for him on the way in, it's probably gonna be like peepers only.

SPEAKER_10 34:39

Everybody look out the windows now.

SPEAKER_12 34:43

Does it look like a natural ring? You said it's junk and debris. Like, does it look like it might be s like something that was created intentionally?

SPEAKER_07 34:51

It's just stuff that's been left there that has kind of settled into that kind of orbit.

SPEAKER_12 34:56

Okay, so it's probably not like a cover for an ambush.

SPEAKER_07 35:00

I mean it could be used as a cover for an ambush. This place has been a junk planet for a long time.

SPEAKER_12 35:07

Like, because if I bring us into like into atmosphere, if I can I if I get us around the ring, is there any way that we could just like visually appraise the planet and see like if it looks like there might be a place where an organic being is living?

SPEAKER_07 35:23

Yeah, with your astrogation if you want that to add a uh a boon to your piloting role.

SPEAKER_10 35:28

Yeah. Like, is there something orbiting the planet at a different speed than the garbage or something?

SPEAKER_07 35:36

So uh, do you want to drop out of hyperspace far enough away to be able to make that scan?

SPEAKER_10 35:40

Sure.

SPEAKER_11 35:41

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 35:42

So uh give me a once you drop out of hyperspace then at the end of the system, roll me a computers to try and scan the uh debris field around the planet.

SPEAKER_08 35:53

Fuck, I wish I had ranks on this.

SPEAKER_07 35:55

So the debris is junk, so there is a lot of metal in there already. Uh so it's not gonna be like trying to find like starship signals in a natural rock asteroid belt. So it's gonna be more like trying to find you're you're specifically looking for stuff that's moving differently than the surrounding debris. So that's gonna be a little bit harder. So that'll be a three purple computers.

SPEAKER_10 36:19

Oh, for success one threat.

SPEAKER_07 36:21

Nice. Oh yeah. So uh you can scan as you're approaching at the edge of the system, you can get near the planet, start collecting data, and you can spot that moving counter to the orbit of the debris ring are several smaller shapes that once you can get like a clear enough, it's still pretty fuzzy on your scopes, but the silhouette is one that is feared across the galaxy of the uh Trade Federation's Vulture Droids.

SPEAKER_10 36:55

Oh god, what are those?

SPEAKER_12 36:57

Yeah, those are those the ones that like cut into uh were cutting into Anakin and his ship.

SPEAKER_07 37:01

Uh those are those are Bud Buzz Droids. The vulture droids are like the big ones that can kind of transform into the walkers. Eee. But they are there seem to be a lot of them that are kind of hiding in the rings. You got that threat. Your scans don't go unnoticed, so they change course once you are able to pick them out.

SPEAKER_12 37:21

Oh, would I be able to like maybe just kill power on the ship and like just float in with the debris and hope that we just kind of blend in? Yeah. Until they pass. You can cut the power.

SPEAKER_07 37:33

The ship uh begins drifting. You can all hold your breath as the vulture droids approach. You can see them through the window, and they launch missiles at you.

SPEAKER_05 37:46

Hate that. Um can we take advasive?

SPEAKER_12 37:50

And really, I could could I couldn't have rolled to see how successful I was at hiding us.

SPEAKER_07 37:55

The missiles burst open well away from your ship, and these small golden spheres fly out of them. The golden spheres, you can hear them impacting on your hole. These are the buttons droids that pop open and start crawling over your ship to attest it, and they start digging in itself.

SPEAKER_12 38:17

Lens, land, land, and get to power the ship back up and turn the the shields on again.

SPEAKER_05 38:23

Does anybody got uh if we just pop them off? Does anybody have nuts enough to like do a spacewalk while we're uh in high speed chase and just knock off these things? Is that a thing?

SPEAKER_12 38:34

If we go back through the atmosphere, that might just burn them off. Where did you go?

SPEAKER_07 38:40

This is your approaching the planet. Um, you're still on the like the outer side of the d of the debris ring. So it's gonna be you're really gonna have to gun it to uh try and hit the atmosphere before these things can dig in. So this is gonna be um a piloting against the melee, because they're we their their saws and drills count as melee weapons of the Buzz Droids. Okay. There are seems like half a dozen Buzz Droids that popped out of these missiles that are crawling all over your ship. Uh so that makes. So they are a minion, so they are a minion group, uh, which means that they have four ranks of melee. Uh, which means that this is gonna be a piloting against a red and three purples. And I'll give you a destiny point, so we'll make that two reds and two purples.

SPEAKER_12 39:33

Aww You're so you're so generous.

SPEAKER_07 39:36

Well, you don't have any because you're evil.

SPEAKER_12 39:37

I mean, we'll just see what happens here. I got a I got a yellow and three green to piloting. Interesting. Two threat, but a triumph.

SPEAKER_07 39:45

Hell yeah. Interesting. So with your triumph, you can blast past the vulture droids. You can blast past the debris ring. There are more droids coming up to you once you start your ship. Uh, once you power everything back on, unfortunately, the buzz droids are inside the shield bubble. Okay. But you can blast past the vulture droids that spotted you, and you can see more of them coming up to meet you as you descend into the planet. So you can see where they're originating from.

SPEAKER_12 40:17

Okay, that's something.

SPEAKER_07 40:18

But you did get that threat, you didn't get any success, so you can't shake off the buzz droids before uh they have a chance to start drilling into your ship. And this is a it's a melee roll against your ship, I guess. Uh I'm gonna give them a destiny point as well, just to give you some more. So they get five success and one threat. Your ship takes nine points of damage. Hate that. Is that be f that's before its uh armor? It it doesn't have four points of armor, so it's still but you still take five. Uh, because they got that threat, one of their number does burn up and fall off as you are flying, but they're gonna keep trying to cut into your ship.

SPEAKER_12 41:04

Um, what do you think, Chris or Starzan? Could one of you hop on the guns and try to uh sharpshoot them off? I mean, I am okay at gunnery.

SPEAKER_05 41:15

I got three green, but like, oh you got it. Alright, sure. Okay, yeah, alright. Okay, I got it.

SPEAKER_07 41:21

So you do have turrets on the top and bottom of your ship. However, your turrets are designed so that they can't shoot your ship itself.

SPEAKER_05 41:32

Oh. Can I shoot debris and then have the debris ricochet uh onto a buzz droid?

SPEAKER_07 41:40

Um, yeah, so so as you enter the planet's atmosphere, only one of these droids actually gets burned up and falls off. The rest of them manage to hang on. There are these massive, like, almost like uh wally style piles of garbage, people just piling stuff up, piling stuff up into these incredibly precarious tall mountains and spires of trash. If Kala can pilot well enough, one of you could potentially blast one of these mountains, shower your ship with debris, and maybe knock these droids off.

SPEAKER_12 42:13

Yeah. What would that be for piloting for me to set that up?

SPEAKER_07 42:17

Because this thing doesn't handle very well. You're gonna have to get really close. It's gonna be a three purple and a black piloting.

SPEAKER_11 42:24

Two success to advantage.

SPEAKER_07 42:25

Okay, so you can you can skim really close. So that's gonna make Chris is on the guns? I am on guns. Okay, so that'll make Chris's uh gunnery a little bit easier. So that will only be two purple and you can add a blue.

SPEAKER_05 42:38

Ooh, look at us go. Two purple, blue. Success and an advantage.

SPEAKER_07 42:43

So as Kala cuts it insanely close to one of these precarious mountains of trash, Chris, you can climb into the turret and blast it just before the ship goes through. You can feel the hull being pelted by trash, refuse, pieces of metal goes skittering past the front window, but so does BuzzDroid debris. And on your sensor scope's cameras, you can see that although there is still some trash that is uh trailing off of you as you dive down towards the ground, you are free of the buzz droids.

SPEAKER_05 43:19

Get fucked, buzz droids. I hope you fucking die.

SPEAKER_07 43:23

They did. Right on. Yeah, dog. And with the uh the buzz droids free and you gunning it at max speed, uh the vulture droids are probably circling back around to follow you, but you know where they came from now.

SPEAKER_12 43:37

Yeah. Is there's a mountain. Is there I I know we kind of pulled this uh the last planet we went to, too, but are is there any woods that I might be able to swoop down into to hide the ship until they until they clear off?

SPEAKER_07 43:51

The mountain is made of garbage. Uh there is plants cannot live on this planet.

SPEAKER_12 43:58

Is there an especially uh Uh, I don't know. Is there a is there is there an especially loose-looking s pile of garbage that I could nestle us into?

SPEAKER_07 44:09

Potentially, if you think it wouldn't collapse on your ship and trap you there.

SPEAKER_12 44:13

Oh who knows?

SPEAKER_07 44:16

Yeah, because looking like as you fly over, you can like this is uh it's a trash planet. You don't know if anyone actually lives here. Like, there may be some like the odd scavenger here and there. The only signs of any like movement, the closest thing there is to life on this planet, you can see some in the in the distance, these enormous, um like crab-like incinerator droids that are crawling over these mountains of trash and scooping it up into their mouths to to try and melt it down, to try and reduce the volume of garbage somewhat. I see.

SPEAKER_05 44:54

So they're not after like they are are are they just like um acting like pests for the the incinerator droids belong to the planet.

SPEAKER_07 45:04

The incinerator droids belong to the pl planet. Uh so Argo mentioned that Lotho Minor doesn't belong to anybody. So people have just been dumping their trash on this planet for at the very least several centuries.

SPEAKER_10 45:19

And it seems like is this the alley in my neighborhood?

SPEAKER_07 45:24

And it seems like at some point, like these somebody decided to put these giant incinerator droids onto the planet to try and eat and melt down this garbage. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 45:37

And wait, like those guys from the comics? Well no, that was like a uh Wait, was that an Abominor? I don't know.

SPEAKER_12 45:43

No, it wasn't an Abominor. It was like a Planet Eater or something.

SPEAKER_07 45:47

Oh, the the World Devastators, no. These are these are smaller, not uh, well, I mean not that much smaller. Like they are they're at the very least wild, wild west spider-sized. Uh so they are quite large. One of these things, it probably wouldn't be able to fit your entire ship in its mouth. But most of it. Yeah, it might have to take two bites. It might consider your ship a two-bite brownie.

SPEAKER_12 46:14

Yum. I mean, unless, like, this is probably just because, like, my brain is fried as all heck. Or we could just fly to where we saw the the Vulture droids coming from, see if there's some sort of settlement, and just like charge in and like find this guy and be like, We're the witches. The very white women.

SPEAKER_05 46:40

Precisely. The very same. Like, you are the Imperial Knights.

SPEAKER_12 46:44

We are the Imperial Knights. We don't need to be hiding and skulking around. You know what? I'm just I'm just like, you know what? Whatever. Let's blast a radio that's like Imperial Knight business. Let us pass. Uh let's. I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_10 47:02

Pull out a ship-sized clipboard to show that we belong here.

SPEAKER_07 47:07

Our ship has little grabbing arms to hold onto a clipboard. So are you gonna make a big entrance then?

SPEAKER_12 47:13

Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_07 47:14

Get out of the fucking way! Do you want to send like a out a like a a broadcast blaring the Imperial march as you fly in?

SPEAKER_12 47:22

Yeah, sure. Well let us let our presence be known.

SPEAKER_07 47:26

So you can do that. You can uh put the put your national anthem uh onto their radio broadcast, let them know, because like they know you're here. The droids saw you. Yeah. You can so you can follow the origin point of the droids that were flying up that you just blasted past. And you can see as you approach that they came from the Hulk of some ancient Star Cruiser uh that looks like at one point it was uh very important and very ostentatious, but it also looks like whatever society it was from doesn't exist anymore and got ruthlessly dumped in the trash. So it seems like maybe he's made his base in some ancient deceased deposed king's flagship, because you can see next to it, with these big thick cables running into the Hulk to kind of give it power, is a more or less pristine Trade Federation landing ship. And next to that are a number of freighters and scavenger ships and uh courier transports. All of them seem to have a lot of carbon scoring on them. Uh a lot of them have big holes blasted in them, a lot of them bear the telltale signs of uh buzzdroid punctures. It seems like these are ships that potentially he and his droids pillaged and brought back. It's uh th the occupants of these ships may be dead, maybe captured, you don't know.

SPEAKER_05 49:12

The the pristine ship feels like a home more than anything here.

SPEAKER_07 49:17

Yeah, that would be the one that he stole.

SPEAKER_05 49:19

Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_12 49:21

Yeah. I mean we knew he was a pirate. Makes sense.

SPEAKER_05 49:24

Now we get to pirate his ass up. Nah, that didn't quite work. No. Ignore, ignore, just keep going.

SPEAKER_12 49:32

Anyways. Yeah, I can also just blast the Imperial March out the ship's speakers and go land right in front of his whole business.

SPEAKER_07 49:41

Land right in front of his whole business. And uh a couple of business. A couple of B1 battle droids dressed in uh they're wearing like headband bandanas. One of them he's got like his optics out, so he's wearing an eye patch, another one's got like uh a hook hand replacing his hand, one's got a peg leg.

SPEAKER_12 50:03

Ignore all my previous irritation. I love these guys. This is great.

SPEAKER_07 50:09

And they you can kind of just over the radio you can hear them shouting, Hey, who goes there?

SPEAKER_02 50:16

Uh hello? Uh Bonjour. Uh Je m'appelle uh Cressant, and uh we are here uh to uh we are here because we were uh pointed in this uh general direction.

SPEAKER_08 50:29

You are trespassing in the fortress of Pirate King Akhar Duel. Prepare to be boarded!

SPEAKER_12 50:36

We're on Imperial Knight business, we go where we please.

SPEAKER_08 50:39

We do not recognize the Empire out here, fascist scum.

SPEAKER_12 50:44

Do you recognize an EMP grenade?

SPEAKER_05 50:46

What is he calling us a fascist for? We're not fascist, we are. Well, everybody you disagree with are also.

SPEAKER_10 50:52

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_08 50:53

Let's not be hasty.

SPEAKER_12 50:55

Let's not be hasty. Oh, you don't like the sound of an EMP grenade?

SPEAKER_10 50:59

How about you come out here and debate me in the marketplace of free ideas?

SPEAKER_08 51:05

We are out here. You are going to come with us. We're, I guess, are putting you under arrest? Wait, what do you want?

SPEAKER_07 51:13

They kinda like back up away from you when you're holding the grenade.

SPEAKER_12 51:16

We wanna talk to your boss. We wanna talk to your master.

SPEAKER_08 51:19

You wish to parlay with the Pirate King Acker duel?

SPEAKER_12 51:22

Yeah, we wish to parlay with the Pirate King Acker Duel. Now lead us to them or you're gonna get fried.

SPEAKER_08 51:28

Let me check with my supervisor.

SPEAKER_07 51:30

And the two droids, uh, like they go off and they huddle, they huddle in a corner, and like the little uh antenna on one of their backpacks raises up as if they're calling somebody.

SPEAKER_12 51:41

And call my manager.

SPEAKER_07 51:42

The door to the Hulk of the crashed uh Starcruiser creaks open slowly, rustily, and you hear this rolling sound, and uh this droidica comes up, also with a peg leg, also with one of its weapon hands replaced with a hook.

SPEAKER_12 52:00

Wait, aren't droidicas on wheels? Where's the peg leg? Well, once it unfurls. Oh, once it unfurls, isn't a peg leg that turns into a wheel?

SPEAKER_07 52:09

Red. Well, they kind of curl up into these little those balls. Oh, okay. And it assesses you, and they don't speak basic, but like it pops its shield just like for safety and it kind of assesses you. And then in in the weird way that droidicas can, because they barely have heads, it nods to the two battle droids and kind of shrugs as if to say, well, I guess they can come in.

SPEAKER_12 52:34

Woohoo! Thanks.

SPEAKER_07 52:36

Go in with pride.

SPEAKER_12 52:37

Yeah, which of you is gonna lead the me uh lead the way? You can follow me.

SPEAKER_05 52:42

Does the one with the peg leg as he hobbles as he hobbles and we have to like slowly follow him?

SPEAKER_07 52:50

The one the one with the eye patch kinda uh takes up the back to make sure you don't do anything funny.

SPEAKER_04 52:56

It's it's like they found a Halloween spirit Halloween pirate costume, and then each person took one part of it, basically.

SPEAKER_12 53:02

We gotta share this. I mean, uh between all of us. We're gonna go in there, there's gonna be a droid with a fake pot parrot on its shoulder.

SPEAKER_07 53:12

And now now that you're kind of on the planet, Zin is checking her medallion, constantly seeing like where is it pointing, where is it sort of uh leading her to. And it seems like Chris, if you kind of look back at her, if the medallion is pointing inside the ship.

SPEAKER_12 53:30

Still not at Chris, though, huh?

SPEAKER_05 53:32

I moved to the direction where uh it's pointing.

SPEAKER_12 53:36

Me. That's right. It was me all along.

SPEAKER_07 53:40

Oh, you didn't know inside the Hulk of this ship. You can see that, like, the droid army, the rumors are true. There are thousands of battle droids inside this place. Most of them bearing some kind of amputation or battle damage that has uh required them to cover it up with a bandana or replace a peg leg here or a hand there with a hook or an eye patch. And all of them, like, they are imbibing in like batteries and like vaping oil. They're it's it's droid botchery bust on this place.

SPEAKER_05 54:25

It's like it's like that orgy scene in uh uh The Boys, but with a lot of metal.

SPEAKER_07 54:31

And as you like go through the halls, you see like these droids have they've really like made a mess of the place. Like this place was already like a crashed uh ancient starship, but like there's oil splatters all over the walls, there's like discarded refuse, old batteries, power cells is kind of left there. It it's a part, it's a f it's like a Bastroid frat house almost. Hell yeah. And they lead you into uh what once appeared to be like a throne room for whatever deposed king used this ship, and you can see at the end of this great hall where these uh battle droids are all having their drunken debauchers partying, a Nomoidean dressed in a an obviously not his like military-style outfit, like it's a little bit too big for him. Like it seems like he maybe stole from a superior someone he killed, but he's styled himself as some type of admiral, and he is enjoying the show. A super battle droid uh is doing a sensual dance for him and slowly like peeling or I guess unclipping, I guess pulling, unclasping, like the chest plate of his broad uh robot chassis. So the and the Nemoidian is like glaring lasciviously at like the circuits underneath. Lasciviously. This dude loves Chad droids. Oh boy. And uh the the lead droid kind of pretends to clear his throat and says, Excuse me, pirate king.

SPEAKER_08 56:19

We have uh visitors from the Empire!

SPEAKER_07 56:23

And Akar is like kind of surprised to see you, and he kind of like sits up straight and says, The Empire! Oh shit!

SPEAKER_05 56:32

Uh hello, uh hello, Bonjour. We are uh pleased to make your acquaintance. We have heard many tales of your adventures.

SPEAKER_00 56:40

Oh, uh good tales, I hope.

SPEAKER_05 56:44

Oh, they are the best tales. They are tales that shall make anybody at the bar swoon for you.

SPEAKER_00 56:51

Okay. Uh what is What is this about?

SPEAKER_05 56:56

Uh We're looking for anything that you may uh know about the witches of of Dathymir. You see, we are uh we are trying to find a home for our remaining uh witches, and uh we have heard that tales that you may know something, a thing or two about a thing or two.

SPEAKER_00 57:14

Oh, is that all? Uh no. I haven't heard. Sorry.

SPEAKER_12 57:17

Alright, alright, let's go. Before we go, could we roll perception?

SPEAKER_04 57:23

Yeah, roll perception. He seems untrustworthy.

SPEAKER_12 57:28

He seems Yeah, somebody about this guy's sketching me out.

SPEAKER_07 57:31

I can't put my finger on what So, uh this will be Perception against his deception? Or Chris, you said you have nobody's fool. Do you want him to try and roll his deception against you? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_12 57:44

If Chris, if this guy succeeds, then then I will proceed. But uh that's right, I forgot.

SPEAKER_04 57:49

Uh Chris, whose fool are you again?

SPEAKER_05 57:51

Uh nobody's fool. Thank you very much. I got two ranks in that shit. Okay. Oh nice. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 57:57

Uh so that means the difficulty is upgraded twice. Uh so what is your discipline then?

SPEAKER_05 58:05

My discipline.

SPEAKER_07 58:06

Let's see.

SPEAKER_05 58:07

Not great. Uh it's two uh two green.

SPEAKER_07 58:10

Okay, well that's against gonna be uh against two reds at least.

SPEAKER_05 58:13

I mean that's something.

SPEAKER_07 58:14

Interesting. Uh so he got a failure with four advantages.

SPEAKER_05 58:17

Hmm.

SPEAKER_07 58:18

So he we know you can accurately assess that he is uh that he does not know anything about the witches of Dathymir. Okay. But is there something else he's holding back? If there is anything else he's holding back with those advantages, uh you wouldn't be able to glean that from just just what he said. So but if you do want to perceive, that would make it a little bit more difficult.

SPEAKER_05 58:44

Yeah, yeah. Um I I will ask, like, uh uh do you know uh do you know why we were led to somebody like you Zen?

SPEAKER_00 58:53

Well, I haven't the faintest. Uh but if I I understand that you are from the Empire, and if you that is the case, then uh perhaps somebody was just trying to waste your resources by sending them after a legitimate businessman.

SPEAKER_05 59:09

A legitimate businessman? Yes, I uh Do you have papa do you have papers? Ooh now it sounded German.

SPEAKER_07 59:19

Where where is your license? Lothominer has remained unclaimed for centuries, so I've decided to lay claim to it myself.

SPEAKER_00 59:27

Uh, free man on the land.

SPEAKER_05 59:29

Band on the room.

SPEAKER_00 59:30

And I uh couldn't help but notice that uh your vessel, the Imperial Insignia, does not uh uh bear the gold fringes of an Admiralty vessel, so I uh do not think that you have any particular jurisdiction on my sovereign world. So I would uh thank you to uh to retreat from whence you came, if indeed all you came here for was uh the witches, was it? Hey, uh so interesting.

SPEAKER_12 59:56

So I guess that if we don't have any authority here on your sovereign world, your sovereign world's not covered by imperial law, then I guess that means that we don't have to abide by imperial law, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:08

Well, you don't. But I also have ten thousand battle droids at my back end call.

SPEAKER_12 1:00:14

Yeah, and I got a belt full of EMP grenades, so you wanna start talking and telling us what you know, or do you want me to kill your girlfriend over there?

SPEAKER_07 1:00:21

And he looks he he he looks at the super battle droid that's like now cupping its hands over its exposed chassis. And pulling up its bodice.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:32

Oh my. Can I get can I get Starzan to intimidate this guy? Like with uh maybe slam his head on the table just once? His head on the drum's going.

SPEAKER_12 1:00:43

Oh, the guy's head, not Starzan's head. No, no, not Starzana's.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:48

That wouldn't freak him out. I'd smash my head in the table just to intimidate him.

SPEAKER_12 1:00:53

Look, if someone did that, I would probably be pretty freaked out when I was.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:03

You can have a little CRT as it's freaking out. It's like that one one kids in the hall sketch with uh uh things to do today, and like the the gang members keep killing themselves. The mafia keeps killing themselves.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:15

If you don't talk, we're crazy. If you don't talk, this is gonna happen to you.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:22

So uh intimidate him.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:24

So what's it gonna be, my guy?

SPEAKER_07 1:01:26

So are you gonna try and coerce him then to intimidate him?

SPEAKER_12 1:01:28

Sure, I'll try doing a coercion.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:31

Yeah, you do have big you do have big bad stars, and you do have uh EMP grenades. You are directly threatening this droid that he seems to be into.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:38

You have Chris on, he's gonna steal this girl, even if she is a droid. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:43

Could Chris give me an extra blue if he's making eyes at the droid? Both me and steal your girl.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:49

Uh yeah, so you'll so you can add three blues. No shit, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:53

Both me and Zen are doing like we saw, we saw you from across the room. We dig your vibe.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:59

If you want to be our third battle droid, fun with toys.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:02

So I'm gonna give you another destiny point. This will start as a red and a purple. Uh, but he does also have 10,000 battle droids at his beck and call. So alongside those three blues, you can also add two blacks.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:15

Okay. What do we have for Destiny?

SPEAKER_07 1:02:17

You have three.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:18

I'll flip one and get a yellow. So it's a red, a purple, two black, and three blue.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:26

Oh man, this is a big dice roll. Let's see.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:29

Oh hell yeah. Four success, four advantage. Pony at the info. Dog.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:35

Irritable Kalog gets it done. And uh he says, Alright, I don't I don't know anything about witches, but I have something you might want. Okay, keep talking. Talk faster for me. If if you agree to leave this place in peace.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:47

Yeah, uh honestly, we're just here for the witches stuff. We don't have to.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:51

We we don't care about your where you where you wind a stick things and what ports you're interested in.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:57

And if you don't want the empire to to bother you, we will tell them that you weren't here.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:01

And he pulls like this bag out from beside his throne, and he says, last ship that I uh escorted and found dead and then salvaged had some uh people in it, and I've been uh keeping them here uh for their protection, because you know, you wouldn't you know it uh and he starts like rooting around in this bag and he says, Ah, whatever. And he just dumps it out, and all of these guns come tumbling out. Oh, a lightsaber. Oh they were uh transporting a fugitive Jedi.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:42

Uh do you know which one? I didn't get his name. So it was a him. What did he do you know what he looked like? Do you know anything about Sim?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:50

Well, I got him locked up uh in one of my cells with his kid.

SPEAKER_12 1:03:54

With his kid? Oh, I wonder if this is the guy that we helped escape the planet before. But he did mention that Obi helped with a with a refugee crisis, and that was the episode where he was in. Was that foreshadowing? That feels I mean, if I'm Jedi.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:13

I mean, that feels right now that you mention it. I completely forgot about him until you just mentioned him.

SPEAKER_12 1:04:19

I know, well that was like our third episode. That was way back. That was way back.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:23

Look, if you wanna if you wanna take him and go, that's fine. I was just gonna feed him to my monster, but you know, go go ahead. Uh I know I know you guys love to pick up these Jedi, so uh just take them and go.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:35

What kind of uh monster do you have?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:37

I don't know, just some creature that I uh like anybody who kind of comes here and pisses me off, if they piss me off enough, I throw them to the creature. Not not you nice nice individuals though, from the course not.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:49

No, no, no, no, no, no, of course not. We we we uh we uh uh are not worth the shit that comes out of that.

SPEAKER_12 1:04:56

Yeah, we're all we're all friends here, aren't we?

SPEAKER_11 1:04:58

We're all friends here. So I guess.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:00

Let's let's let's grab this prisoner and let's head her.

SPEAKER_11 1:05:03

Now show us to this Jedi.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:05

And he gets up from his throne and he says, Alright, follow me. And him and uh not insignificant number of droids for security follow uh him, and he leads you uh into the halls of his ship to where he has uh some cells that probably aren't like supposed to be cells, they're probably just rooms that he locked. And he says, uh, in this door is the Jedi and his kid. That door is the uh the crew of scurrulous traitors that were transporting them. Scurrellous.

SPEAKER_12 1:05:37

Who do we want to check on first?

SPEAKER_05 1:05:39

Um let's uh I don't think that the scurrilous traitors makes it sound as though that's not where a Jedi would be. Let's check out the other room.

SPEAKER_12 1:05:49

Well, because like if the traitors are the uh remaining night sisters, but like we'll have to check on both of them.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:54

Alright, well let's let's do one and then we'll do the other.

SPEAKER_12 1:05:57

Uh let's check on the let's check on the traitors just in case. This Jedi just like comes out swinging and wants to uh wreck our business.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:05

Okay. Well, let's uh see what happens.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:08

Whee!

SPEAKER_07 1:06:08

So uh he opens the door to the room where the uh the traitorous uh people are, and you can see there is a very hungry looking gaggle of smugglers of various species. Their clothes are are dirty and worn, and it looks like they've had their fair share. Some of them are tending like they have wounds that they've been tending to, blaster burns and what have you. And he says, Well, you scurvy dogs, looks like your time has come. The Empire's come for ya. Uh-oh. I wish he didn't say that. And they look very afraid, and they said, We we swear, we we didn't know. We didn't know what he was. He he just he just hired us to transport him, we didn't know anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:54

Uh uh we're not looking for all of you. We're looking for Ah, come on, you can do better than that.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:00

Why don't you tell him what you need to know, or I'll feed another one either the creature.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:04

Uh, do you know of the uh possible Jedi that might be here? Is that the one? We didn't we didn't we didn't know he was a Jedi! Well, do you know which so which one was is the Jedi? Is he here? They I don't know, we put him in the other room.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:17

Him and his kid. Cause could we maybe look at Zan and just like, is uh any of these the people?

SPEAKER_07 1:07:23

She takes out her talisman and it's pointing back towards the throne room.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:27

Back towards the throne room. Oh fuck. Oh no. Not this guy. Hey buddy.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:33

Anybody but this guy.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:37

It's not a droid. Just like, hey, um, I think our friend needs to go take a look around your throne room.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:43

Oh, okay. I will I will I will go with her. I can show you the creature. Any, meeny, miny, you! And he points to like a scrawny-looking Rhodian.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:52

Nah. Get a bunch. Nah, you're not nah, nah, nah. You're not feeding any more of them to the creature. Just show her around.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:58

No, I can't.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:59

Again, I have no, I have a bell full of EMP grenades. Again, you're not gonna feed any more of them to the creature.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:05

I look at Zen and I'm like, no, it might be fun to watch that. No, no, no, no, yep. What is Zen looking uh uh like right now? Does does sh does Zen want to see somebody get eaten eaten?

SPEAKER_07 1:08:18

Would that cheer her up? She leans over to you, Chris, and she says, Well, maybe. Um this talisman. Let's let's let's let's grab one of them.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:28

I felt something under the throne room, and this talisman is pointing back down. If he's got something down there, maybe it's the witches.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:37

Let's uh The Night Sisters are skilled at illusions. Perhaps it is not a creature but a covet.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:44

Ooh. Let's uh let's go down, Zen. Let's uh um let's uh sh shall we bring one of Zen and see what happens? Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:54

Okay, Chris, I guess that's between you and Zen. Do we uh do we want to check out what's going on with the Jedi first or uh just go on down? God, there's a lot of things to check here. You don't want to split the party? I don't know if we necessarily want to split the party. Yeah. We should stay together. Apes together strong. Yeah, let's maybe like like one thing at a time. Let's check on the Jedi. And then we'll go from there. Okay. Then we'll go from there. Then we'll go down and check out this creature.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:19

Alright. Feed the Jedi to the creature. What? No.

SPEAKER_11 1:09:23

Well, okay, can we can we just talk to the Jedi first? My god, can you just like let us do one thing at a time, please?

SPEAKER_07 1:09:28

Alright, alright. And he kind of does like the finger point like to his eyes and then to the road, and he's like, I'll be back for you. He closes and locks the door and go across the hall. And he bangs on it and he says, Jedi, you got visitors! And the door opens, and you can see uh a man, human man, in nondescript traveler's cloak sitting on the ground in the corner with uh a little four-year-old boy.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:56

Is he the same guy?

SPEAKER_07 1:09:57

No, you don't know him.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:59

Oh. Uh hello.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:01

And uh the kid is scared of you, and he says, Galen, Galen, it's okay. These people uh have come to save us from this pirate.

SPEAKER_12 1:10:13

Uh well we just uh we we uh heard that there were the smuggler or a Jedi being smuggled. And um, maybe you tell us what was going on with that.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:23

You bear the crest of the empire.

SPEAKER_12 1:10:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:26

And I sense the force about you. Also, yes.

SPEAKER_10 1:10:29

In one way or another.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:31

I will go with you freely if we can make a deal. Okay. My son must be allowed to go free.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:36

No, it sounds sense. I I I I I feel as though it's it would be rude and cruel to split flam families apart.

SPEAKER_12 1:10:44

Uh, you've you've when you say your son needs to go free uh your four-year-old son, do you got another caregiver in mind?

SPEAKER_07 1:10:50

I don't know, but I don't want him getting into the hands of the Empire.

SPEAKER_12 1:10:55

Dare I ask why? A just, you know, principle of the thing.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:58

I've heard that your Empire is training a new order of warriors, and my son will not be turned into a weapon.

SPEAKER_11 1:11:05

I mean, we're not we're not baby snatchers, we're not the Jedi.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:08

Nevertheless, there are dark forces out there that I would not wish to put a hand on him, so if you will take me and kill me, or do as you will, that is fine. But the boy must live. Send him on one of the ships out there. Send him reprogram a droid, I don't care. Send him with one of the smugglers across the hall. It doesn't matter to me as long as you do not take him.

SPEAKER_12 1:11:31

Uh see, because I feel like this is maybe getting Kala because there was all the stuff with um Aura saying where it's like, oh, she was like a child who got kidnapped by pirates, and how horrible her life was because of that. And how it's like, oh, like you can't just give a kid to pirates. You can't just give a c a kid to pirates.

SPEAKER_10 1:11:56

Why not? That worked out good for uh Star Guy from Galaxy.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:02

Star Guy from Galaxy. You know, Star Guy from Galaxy. Everybody can Guardians of the Galaxy.

SPEAKER_12 1:12:13

You remember Star Guy from Galaxy?

SPEAKER_07 1:12:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:12:16

Who's to say this pirate isn't Mary Poppins?

SPEAKER_12 1:12:19

The nude with cum on his walls. It's true. He could John Carpenter, Star Guy. This dude could be Mary Poppins.

SPEAKER_10 1:12:26

He's Mary Poppins, y'all.

SPEAKER_12 1:12:30

He's Mary Poppins. He's Mary Poppins. So uh I I I'll just So you you uh you were with the Jedi Order, that was your lightsaber that we saw earlier.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_12 1:12:42

And uh how long have you been separated from him?

SPEAKER_07 1:12:44

My wife and I met in the early days of the war, and one thing led to another, and we realized that uh if they found out about our son, we would both be exiled anyway, and neither of us wanted to die fighting, so we excused ourselves from the conflict to raise our child. My wife did not survive. I escaped from Kashyyyk with my son. Another of your order destroyed her. We barely made it out.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:11

Uh boy, uh, this is a little awkward in here. Uh well, uh, you gotta come with us now.

SPEAKER_12 1:13:19

But it's like he he's not been with the Jedi, he left the order. He's a deserter. Like, like, you know, yeah, like the Masters, that was different. They were like perpetuating the Jedi Order. They were all in on like the propaganda and doctrine. This is just a guy.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:34

If this guy wants to be left alone, I feel like we should leave uh I feel like we should get what we need and then just leave him alone, honestly.

SPEAKER_12 1:13:43

Ooh, although mm, there are a bunch of witnesses here in terms of this pirate guy. That's okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:48

We'll kill the pirate we'll just kill the pirate guy and then freeze them. That's okay. They'll love us, they'll join the Empire with it for us.

SPEAKER_12 1:13:56

Yeah, because I'm like, this guy's like he this guy's a Jedi deserter, anyways. He's barely a Jedi. There's I I feel weird about leaving a kid orphaned for personal reasons. And it's like, what if it's like, look, we can't Buddy's still listening at the door. He's like still standing right here. Hey, uh, do you think you can uh get the hell out and give us some privacy for a second?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:21

Uh yeah, I gotta go feed the creature anyway.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:23

Oh well. Just wait outside the door. Wait outside the door.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:26

Alright. Rodian, your time has come!

SPEAKER_12 1:14:30

Wait, wait, wait. Please and thank you, just wait. Um, I'll turn back to Buddy, just like sorry. Uh what do you say your name was?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:38

I am Kento Merrick. This is my son Galen.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:41

Hope that knowing our names would make you see us as living beings, as humans, and not as targets.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:47

Oh, shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:50

No. Though I understand that. Did not save my wife from Skywalker.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:54

Hmm. Oh. I'm sorry. Oh, that sucks. Z Skywalker is kind of a piece of shit, so I understand completely. He attempted to collect my son.

SPEAKER_11 1:15:06

Uh oh wait, wait, why is he called trying to collect his son? We're not bait. Why is he trying to baby snatching?

SPEAKER_05 1:15:12

Is he looking for is he looking for an apprentice? Is he going to kill his master?

SPEAKER_07 1:15:18

So this kid, like, if you look at this kid, you can feel, even if you don't have the sense power, you can feel the force like radiating off of him in waves. Like, you f you get the feeling like that if this kid had a temper tantrum, the room would collapse.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:36

Oh, he's like the kid from Looper.

SPEAKER_12 1:15:38

Oh, so Anagan may have been uh scouting his an apprentice. An apprentice to turn all his enemies into a katamari ball.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:45

Is uh if you uh if we were to let you go, where would uh where would you go?

SPEAKER_07 1:15:50

If I was allowed to go free, I would not trouble the Empire. I would raise my son in peace far away from anyone who would attempt to use him.

SPEAKER_12 1:15:59

So I'll kind of turn back to the rest of the group just like because like, okay, this guy's barely a Jedi. Okay's gonna be off and otherwise. Like, I don't know what's going on with Anakin, but like, we're not baby snatchers. That's not part of like that's not why we agreed to this whole thing, right? Right?

SPEAKER_10 1:16:14

Is it not? I thought they were saying earlier that people were executed for traffic crimes and whatever.

SPEAKER_12 1:16:19

Well, yeah, I didn't think I was agreeing to all that either. Anyways, like, look, there's a lot to unpack here. We personally, I think we did not sign on to be baby snatches. And like, if Anakin is like on his like, you know, when you know when Anakin's not high and he's like just a real weirdo to be around? Like if Anakin's on that business.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:42

He's the kind of guy whose default life experience is that people own other people.

SPEAKER_12 1:16:47

Yeah, if Anakin was that sort of guy. Like, what if we like take his lightsaber, take it that guy's lightsaber, because that's all that's happening. It's like you're just killing and bringing back the lightsabers as proof that you killed him. And then it's like this guy's dead, the kid was already gone. You don't know where the kid is. He he didn't have no kid with him.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:05

And if we get caught that he's alive, we'll be like, look, we hit him with a lightsaber, he turned into robes. We figure that's how people die. That's how it works.

SPEAKER_12 1:17:14

Yeah, oh my god, someone stole his lightsaber. We must have killed that guy. Like, what do you guys think?

SPEAKER_05 1:17:21

Honestly, I'm okay. Like, you know, I'm willing for something like this to bite us in the ass later. I probably will.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:30

But also it's like Anakin, pretty well known for being chill about being betrayed. Yeah, he's fine. He'll be fine. It'll be fine. Trying to their cheek. He'll look uh he'll actually look inward and see if it was something he did himself to make us betray him.

SPEAKER_12 1:17:43

Yeah, I'm I'll bet he'll do introspection if this comes to light.

SPEAKER_10 1:17:46

How could a child have wronged the Empire? It's all I'm saying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:17:51

Yeah, it's like it's it's a little kid. Like what we're not baby snatches. Like we uh we don't look turn back to this Jedi just like so Canto. Canto, Merrick?

SPEAKER_07 1:18:03

Yes. Uh can I have your name?

SPEAKER_12 1:18:06

Uh well, I mean you're a Jedi. You're you're resistant to torture if you ever got caught uh captured and tortured for identities. Right? Sure you won't. I should hope so if we're giving him this sort of sugar deal.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:24

I mean, he he managed to escape from from Anakin, so he's pretty resourceful at the very least.

SPEAKER_12 1:18:30

Yeah. I'm uh well I'm Kala. Kala. Nice t nice to meet ya.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:35

We will see if that is the case.

SPEAKER_12 1:18:37

Look, we're um we're not in the business of snatching babies, and uh, we know we're trying to deal with the rhetoric that the Jedi, you know, the propaganda that the Jedi was doing, but far as we see it, you aren't really a Jedi anymore, are ya? Well So if you're not a Jedi, you can't really be running around with that lightsaber. So what do you say, uh, you go ri raise your kid nice and quiet, we take back your lightsaber and say that we killed ya.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:02

That is an adequate trade. Huzzah! You don't seem to be as far gone as the other knight that I encountered.

SPEAKER_12 1:19:09

I mean, he's okay when he's high. You know, you get you get him like right after he got off the bong. He's a dream to be around. It's just like everyone's.

SPEAKER_10 1:19:17

He's like super divorced.

SPEAKER_12 1:19:19

He's super divorced.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:20

Super divorced. Not even divorced dad energy, it's just divorced man energy.

SPEAKER_12 1:19:24

You know, he's just going through things. Like, I'm sure I'm sure he like we were friends. I don't know if we're still friends. It's it's it's complicated with him. Were we friends? We were friends. He said we were friends. Then he tried to choke me, so that was maybe the beginning of the end. Anyways, this isn't stuff that you care about. Um, Kanto. But uh can I can I just get a read on like how trustworthy this guy's gonna be? Cause I'm like, we have to go look at what this creature is in the basement. There's all the like the the pirate crew that was smuggling him, like just get them all out of here, drop them off on whatever planet we drop Kanto and his kid off on. But it's like if if it were like, hey, can you just like take everyone to the ship and wait for us, would he try to steal the ship? What's the vibe check?

SPEAKER_07 1:20:14

Uh, so you want to read his deception? Or his cool?

SPEAKER_12 1:20:19

Maybe his cool. He hasn't really said anything, but is just like trying to vibe check him? Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:25

Okay. Uh so that'd be a two-red perception.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:27

Six advantage. No success.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:30

So you can't know for sure what his deal is. Clearly, he's very protective of his kid. You feel how strong his kid is, how much he doesn't want that being turned into a weapon. Like, there's a lot of ships out there.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:43

Like I I really look forward to um this father dying and then the kid seeking vengeance. That's gonna be fun.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:51

Oh, we don't know that that will happen for certain.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:54

Like, he's he seems like he's smart enough to, if he's gonna steal a ship, not steal yours.

SPEAKER_12 1:21:00

I guess our ship it is like it's pretty uh official looking.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:04

Yeah. Like if he was gonna try and steal a ship and disappear, it would be one of the other ones that got captured by the pirates.

SPEAKER_12 1:21:11

Yeah. Kento. Now you got that whole crew that's uh locked up because they were doing you the favor of trying to smuggle you, I figure we should probably be getting them out too. Um, I don't suppose if we uh asked you to escort them back to our vessel, if you we might be able to trust you to uh not steal it and uh make sure no one else steals it until we get back, we gotta check out this creature in the basement.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:35

So not only am I handing over my lightsaber, uh I am handing over the lives of the crew who risk themselves to escort myself and my son to the Empire. That is true.

SPEAKER_12 1:21:48

Well, no, Kanto, I just thought maybe we shouldn't leave them in prison here to be fed to a creature. I was figuring we just dump them out on whatever backwater where we dumped you and your kid, unless you would like us to leave them.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:00

He suddenly gets very like stern when you mention the creature, and he says, if you do one thing before you leave, destroy that thing. Destroys the creature?

SPEAKER_12 1:22:10

Well uh that might it might have relevance to our friend here, so you know, like It is a thing of darkness.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:16

Honestly, yeah, I mean I if it's a creature that eats things as whole, then that'd probably be. Oh, you know what we could do? We could um poison one of the prisoners and feed it to the creature.

SPEAKER_12 1:22:30

But you you also gotta understand that thing may be a thing of darkness, but my friend is a thing of horininess, and his girlfriend would will really like for us to check it out and maybe keep it alive. So, like, maybe let's not push the uh grace that we're extending you today.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:45

Capish? If that thing must live so that my son does not become a weapon of darkness, then that is a choice I'm willing to make.

SPEAKER_12 1:22:52

Okay, Groovy, we're all on the same page. Now can we cas trust you to take your crew back to the ship where they will be nice and safe until we dump y'all out on whatever little backwater you'd like?

SPEAKER_07 1:23:05

That would depend on the Nemoidian he has, as he so frequently claims, 10,000 battle droids at his beck and call.

SPEAKER_12 1:23:13

Would you like me to give you one of my EMP grenades in case they give you trouble on the way out?

SPEAKER_07 1:23:18

I don't think one would do it.

SPEAKER_12 1:23:20

Well, I only have so many, champ. You don't have to use EMP.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:25

Would you like two or three?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:28

You'll have my EMP grenade.

SPEAKER_12 1:23:30

And my axe! Or or you can just come with us and we all stay together to go and uh see the creature if you wanna stay together as one big happy room.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:41

Uh and honestly, we're going back to the throne room anyway because uh uh appar apparently the compass is pointing uh in that direction and we must follow where the compass goes because we are uh not thoughtful in ourselves.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:57

He says, I am extending my trust to you. That was a mistake.

SPEAKER_12 1:24:03

Okay, are you gonna are you coming with us or you taking the ship? Like, okay. Are we bringing all the all the crew with us too, or just leaving them in the cell until it's time to go?

SPEAKER_07 1:24:12

I mean that you'll have to deal with the pirate captain to negotiate that.

SPEAKER_12 1:24:16

Chris, Chris, negotiate this. Just get them released. Just get them released.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:20

Just get just get the all the prisoners released?

SPEAKER_12 1:24:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:24

All the prisoners.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:26

So you can you can go you can go back out.

SPEAKER_12 1:24:28

Uh don't be a threaten them again?

SPEAKER_07 1:24:30

The pirate captain is dragging the little Rhodian down the hall back to the throne room. Sorry, I couldn't wait. I gotta feed this thing regularly.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:40

Uh hello bonjour. Uh before you do uh before you do that, uh we were thinking that you could not do that. Um, and let um and let my people go.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:55

Well, look, there's gonna be trouble if I don't, so and he stomps on a button on the ground, and this big trapdoor in the floor of his throne room begins slowly opening.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:08

Where's this compass pointing?

SPEAKER_07 1:25:10

Uh down. Pointing down into the pit. And as the door opens, you can hear this kind of like insane wailing.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:20

Does that does that sound familiar to Zinn? Does that uh uh bring up any memories of something?

SPEAKER_07 1:25:25

And it's dark down in the pit, but as the door opens, just enough to throw a body in, you see something s like skittering. Oof. Uh roll me a perception to catch a glimpse of it. It's dark down there, so you'll have a black. It's moving quite it's moving quite fast, so it'll be two purple two black perception.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:48

Two purple two black perception. Let's see. Ooh, I can remove a black. Three failure. Perception.

SPEAKER_10 1:25:55

Two failure, one advantage.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:57

Three success, one advantage. So Calla, you see this skittering, and you catch a glimpse of something moving down there. At first it seems like like some kind of insect, like a spider or something, but then you see that it's not a spider, because attached to its spider legs is like a humanoid torso and arms and a head. Black covered in red tattoos, a crown of horns protruding from its head as it wails insanely for something to devour.

SPEAKER_12 1:26:39

This is the best day.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:41

Can we can we throw the captain in?

SPEAKER_10 1:26:43

Roll the fuck that Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:46

Look, Cal has been real lonely. How close is the captain uh to being close to that thing close to the entrance?

SPEAKER_07 1:26:55

Can we well he just push that Rhodian that he's gonna throw in there?

SPEAKER_12 1:26:59

Could I ooh, unless. Because I do have I have quick draw. So I could pull my gun right quick and shoot the captain in the knee so he falls in. Honestly?

SPEAKER_05 1:27:13

Does uh are are are we in agreement this is what we should do?

SPEAKER_12 1:27:17

Yeah, this guy kind of sucks.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:18

Yeah, let's let's let's fuck him up.

SPEAKER_12 1:27:20

Yeah, okay. What's it gonna be to shoot him in the knee?

SPEAKER_07 1:27:22

Uh that'll be uh cool versus vigilance first.

SPEAKER_11 1:27:26

God damn it, I hate doing this.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:29

Can I can I can I roll cool?

SPEAKER_07 1:27:31

Um are you gonna try and shoot him?

SPEAKER_05 1:27:33

Uh yeah, I can try and shoot him in the knee first. I have I have very good cool, and I'm just gonna sh and I feel like this guy sucks enough, I'm just gonna shoot him in the knee.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:42

Oh yeah, you also have foresight, don't you?

SPEAKER_05 1:27:43

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep. Also that.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:46

Okay. So, uh Chris, if you wanna do that, uh so you can roll your force with your cool. But that will be two reds and a purple.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:57

I'm gonna flip a destiny to

SPEAKER_12 1:28:00

Can I can I downgrade a red? Uh yeah. Would I also be able to roll cool just to see which of us could shoot first?

SPEAKER_07 1:28:07

Um We'll let Chris's resolve first.

SPEAKER_12 1:28:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:10

Uh I got two success and two dark side. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:14

So advantage. Yeah, so you can use those to I mean you are a dark sider.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:20

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no, that's true. Sorry, I thought I thought the dark side would go into the words foresight, but yeah, no, that that that works.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:27

Uh no.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:28

You use the force on that. The guns, like, you could use your variable blaster. You got an advantage, you got the force. You can use those uh darks to get more spectrum.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:38

I have a lightsaber, don't I?

SPEAKER_07 1:28:39

You have a lightsaber, but there's also when he when the pirate dumped all of those guns out on the table, uh a resourceful ex-Jedi does not just rely on his lightsaber. Sometimes he needs to carry something that is a little bit less conspicuous. And what you notice on the table that might even be quicker to get to than your blaster that you have is a a blaster that looks it's like wood paneled. Ooh! Almost? It's like a musket. Well, you may have come across these at some point, you may not have. It is a hardwood blaster. It is a type of blaster that was made by the Thalothian species, but it is a gun that perhaps because of it is made of wood, perhaps because of how it was made, perhaps it's because of who the Thalothians are. For any number of reasons, these blasters are attuned to the force in a specific way. So it behaves not entirely like your variable blaster. Instead of choosing a power setting, when you fire it, you can suffer strain up to the amount of your force rating. And for and when you do, for each strain that you suffer, you add an automatic advantage.

SPEAKER_12 1:30:06

Ooh! Oh, that make it really easy to crit.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:09

I could d I could double dual wield weapons, one variable blaster, one heart uh is that a thing that I can do? Yeah, it would make it more difficult to fire, but I'll at least take two strain to uh uh take out his fucking knee.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:24

Okay. Uh so you're aiming for his knee, so that'll uh you're calling your shot, that'll add two blacks. Uh you are at short range, uh he's got a rank of adversary, so that'll be a red and two blacks. And if you're suffering two strain, you can add two advantages. One success, two advantages.

SPEAKER_12 1:30:42

Oh nice.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:43

Yeah, so you can blast him, knock it, knock out his knee, it buckles, and he tumbles partially into the hole. He's kind of askew.

SPEAKER_12 1:30:53

Could could the advantage be that he lets go of the Rhodian before he tumbled?

SPEAKER_07 1:30:58

He lets go of the Rhodian, and he doesn't quite get in. Like he falls in, his leg falls in. And you can see like he's being pulled from below, but he's like really holding on, trying not to go in.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:11

Starzan, can I can I get you to give me a give a little uh give him a little push?

SPEAKER_07 1:31:16

And he doesn't go in, but the thing starts coming out. You see like it climbing up him, using him almost like a ladder.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:24

So I can push him in. Can I can I uh can we poison him as he as he's uh just so we can knock out two birds with one stone?

SPEAKER_12 1:31:32

Also, just to just to check, because I know that the Jedi said that it's like, oh, the the thing down there is a thing of darkness. So uh just just to uh cover our bases in case it is not as friendly as one would like, uh, could I pop up my suppress power and just uh have that active? Yeah. Ooh, four dark side. Perfect. Here you go. Perfect.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:55

So I'll eat them both back.

SPEAKER_12 1:31:58

Yeah, I because probably don't need to extend the range. So, let's see, that's one, that's two for strength, and I guess I could just increase the range, because it and then just commit it all. Yeah. Okay. Let's just commit it all. So we suppressing.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:16

And Starzan, you're gonna try and stomp this uh body into the hole?

SPEAKER_12 1:32:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:20

Okay, so like Mickey 17. So you'll have to do this before the creature can crawl out. Yes. Uh so this will be a brawl or athletics against four reds. Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:33

Okay. Use the destiny if you need to. I'm also gonna uh commit a force point to up my strength to six. So I can't yeah, flip destiny and have four reds. One success, one light side.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:47

Okay, you're out of destiny, so you can't use that lightside, but you did get one success. So you can stomp the body down into the hole before the creature can get it. But you can only sort of see the little silhouette of it, uh, down there and the barest hint of its sort of black and red body. But it looks up at you with unblinking pinpricks in the darkness, these yellow eyes, it just stares up at you.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:13

We're going to have to kill this thing soon, ain't we?

SPEAKER_12 1:33:16

Look, we don't know, we don't know. What is it what's what's the vibe that Zin's getting? What's Zen feeling?

SPEAKER_07 1:33:21

Chris, if you like reach for like your blaster to like point it down, she like puts her hand down to lower your hand and she says, It's a night brother.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:29

Oh.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:35

There's something wrong with him. It seems it seems broken somehow. How do we make him how do we make him right? I I don't know. There may be some magic we could try to do. And she looks back at like your Jedi prisoner, and she's like, Jedi, is there something you can do to heal a broken mind? Oh dear. The Jedi's not gonna want to do that. He wanted us to fucking kill this thing before.

SPEAKER_11 1:33:57

Well, let's see.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:58

And the Jedi says, There are techniques, but I'm not sure that thing is able to be saved. I would still recommend killing it.

SPEAKER_12 1:34:06

Oh come come on. Come on, man. We're doing a big favor for you. Can't help out uh you know help a sister out.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:13

Help a night witch out.

SPEAKER_12 1:34:15

Look, we're having faith that you can be a decent person and continue on with your life. You don't think that you should also have a little bit of grace and forgiveness for others?

SPEAKER_05 1:34:23

Well Which please. That's that's a that's that's that's a good that's a good sentence there. You should feel you should start feeling pains of guilt after say after hearing that.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:32

A fallen enemy may rise again, but the reconciled one is truly vanquished. If he is not beyond saving, then I will do what I can.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:42

Okay, so that's uh what should uh how do we do this? Do we need to catch him and then uh see what happens from there, or what uh what's protocol?

SPEAKER_07 1:34:51

There's a barrier between he and us. Either we would need to go in or he would need to be let out.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:58

Let him out, let him out, let him out.

SPEAKER_12 1:35:00

I mean the the the transport crew is up here, like maybe we go in and then come out afterwards.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:05

That's fair. Let him in, let us in, let us in, let us in.

SPEAKER_12 1:35:09

Yeah, just leave Galen up here with the uh the Rhodian and the rest of the the the crew.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:16

So you can all uh one by one climb down into this pit. The door is not open enough, the trapdoor, uh, for you all to kind of go in. So you have to go down sort of one by one, chimion through. And by the time you all get down there, the creature has retreated into the shadows. The place where it was being kept is a lot bigger than you may have assumed. Like it seems like it maybe it was a large cargo hold or something, but it's like it's pretty cavernous, there's a lot of other stuff that's in there. It seems like there's before it was a holding cell for this thing, it was just, you know, full of debris, and there's metal piercing through. It's not just a an empty place. This place is also part of the crash, so there are huge spikes of debris that potentially you could use for cover, or it could use for cover. There are bones and carcasses that are scattered around. Seems like this thing has been being fed for a little while.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:28

Oh, is Buddy still down here? Do we see remnants of of uh Pirate Buddy?

SPEAKER_07 1:36:33

Uh, you see Buddy laying on the ground untouched. Oh, is he still alive? No. No. No. He was like pulled in, but the creature didn't devour him. Because like as soon as Buddy's not not alive right now. No, he died. Did he just die from the fall, or did the creature like? Well, you shot him and he fell down into a pit and a creature got him. So, like, any of three different things. Fair. What was left? There you notice maybe that there is, like, in his sternum a big puncture wound where a mechanical spider leg uh impaled him.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:16

Oh, it's a mechanical. Do you think um a giant mechanical spider? Can we use our um I I wonder if our EMPs will kind of help out with this if he is mechanical.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:28

That'd be helpful.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:29

Oh, that's true. Was it created by John Peters? Yes. And there's polar bears down here too.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:35

Yeah. The tricky thing is your your grenades uh are also so you have blasters, you have lightsabers, electrical devices.

SPEAKER_12 1:37:45

Uh, that's true. So we we could we could use it, but it would be uh disarming us as well.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:52

Yeah. Unless you throw it far enough away.

SPEAKER_12 1:37:54

It's true. Possible. Um, what would it be to uh we roll would it be perception to spot it or vigilance to just like be prepared for when he reveals himself again?

SPEAKER_07 1:38:07

If you want to try and find him, that would be a perception against his stealth. You would add a black for the darkness unless you have uh a way to circumvent that.

SPEAKER_12 1:38:16

Well, I could re I could just remove. Yeah. That's right.

SPEAKER_10 1:38:24

I love that I have infrared vision, but also my perception's so bad.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:28

So it'll be uh five purple with a black unless you can uh remove the black for darkness. That's a lot of purple.

SPEAKER_12 1:38:39

Oh my god. I got two success, three threat. What's the perception roll again? Sorry.

SPEAKER_10 1:38:44

Illyria, what do your chiss eyes see?

SPEAKER_07 1:38:48

Uh well, Illyria, you see it. Uh Chris and Starz, and you may not even need to roll because Elyria and Kala see it.

SPEAKER_06 1:38:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:54

Skittering uh Elyria, you can see it not quite plain as day, uh, but pretty clearly, crawling along the ceiling, this mechanical spider with a Zabrak man's body hanging from it. Hell yeah. Uh and Kala, you look up, you hear the skittering on the ceiling, and you see it just as it leaps down on you, and he grabs you with his man hands and starts throttling you. Am I trying to get to my light dagger? So that'll be a uh lightsaber, then got you got three threat on that, so we'll say two blacks. Okay. Uh it's got three ranks of adversary. You're at uh engage range, so that will be two reds of purple and two blacks.

SPEAKER_12 1:39:43

Two reds of purple and two black, huh? Yeah. And my suppress would not help me here at all, would it? Uh no it knocks. I committed everything. Uh and I'm just getting throttled. There's no force at play. Two failure! Just fumble at it. Maybe I just can't even reach for it. I cause can't get my arm down.

SPEAKER_07 1:40:03

Yeah. Like he grabs you and he's like almost like picking you up. And he's like, stop it! Stop it! Stop it! He may have identified you as this as as potentially the source of the uh the dead zone.

SPEAKER_12 1:40:23

Oh, oh, oh, um That suppress. Uh the suppress field. You're telling me that people don't like being suppressed.

SPEAKER_07 1:40:33

And after he reveals himself, the Jedi, he's standing there, he's got like his hands on his temple professor X style, and he's got a handout. And he says, I'm trying to reach him, but I I can't, something's deadening my senses down here. Oh god, can I can I drop the suppress field? I I mean, you could.

SPEAKER_12 1:40:54

Uh boy, we're we're in a bit of a pickle, ain't we?

SPEAKER_04 1:40:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:40:57

He's not using the force to choke me out right now. If dropping may persuade him to let me go, or at least help the Jedi do his thing, maybe.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:10

Then you put it back back up.

SPEAKER_12 1:41:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:13

You're gonna drop it?

SPEAKER_12 1:41:14

God, maybe I shouldn't.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:16

Can I throw um Well, hang on, hang on.

SPEAKER_12 1:41:19

Because. Oh, you know what? I will, because I have control Destiny, where you can use a destiny point to use suppress as an out-of-turn incidental once per session.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:31

So you don't have me right now, so I'll give I'll give one back to you.

SPEAKER_12 1:41:34

Thanks. Thank you. I love that.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:38

So you can drop your suppress field, and as you do, he's gonna throw you, he's gonna throw as many people as he can. Right. Like just with his arms or with the force? With the force, like like a force, like a repulse that emanates from his body. So he got a success, a threat, and six dark sides?

SPEAKER_12 1:41:59

Oh, god damn it. Uh but why did I draw it?

SPEAKER_07 1:42:04

He did use a uh a destiny point there. So you do have destiny point. Reverse psychology, dude.

SPEAKER_12 1:42:09

Yeah, could I just fli if he's throwing me away from him and presumably not choking me out anymore.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:16

So, with magnitude upgrades, he is able to hurl all of you. He passed his uh discipline check. And you all fly back, slam against the wall, uh, you each take damage before your soak equals to ten times your silhouette. You're all silhouette one, so you each take ten points of wound before your soak. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_12 1:42:37

Sick.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:38

Including Zin. Oh no, what's Zin's wound like?

SPEAKER_12 1:42:42

Not as high as yours. Oh no! She that doesn't knock her out, does it? Tell me that doesn't knock her out. We are so fucked if she gets knocked out.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:52

Um, no, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_12 1:42:54

Oh, thank god. Yeah, no, I'll I'll flip that destiny point back and put the suppress back up. It's not gonna be as good as my first one, I don't think.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:02

Because the thing is, the Jedi needs it down in order to do his thing.

SPEAKER_12 1:43:07

Does he though? Because the suppress is just incoming force powers against myself and my allies. Like it's targeted. Does it though?

SPEAKER_07 1:43:16

I'm gonna say it does because it makes the combat more tactical.

unknown 1:43:20

Fuck up!

SPEAKER_12 1:43:23

Can I just yell at the Jedi to like do your shit fast so I can suppress it again.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:28

Okay, so we'll see if the uh the Jedi. Do you guys want to do anything to distract the spider creature?

SPEAKER_05 1:43:35

So Can I throw can I throw an EMP at him?

SPEAKER_07 1:43:38

Um yeah, because you all got thrown back quite a ways.

SPEAKER_12 1:43:41

Oh yeah, so if you threw it, you might uh be able to not hit our all our weapons.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:46

Yeah, that's not a bad idea.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:48

So this is going to be a red and two purple ranged light.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:53

Red and two purple ranged light. A failure, but to advantage.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:59

So you can throw it, but this thing is skittering around a lot. Uh it's not staying in one place. It's very like jerky in its movements, feels like a Ray Herringhausen creature almost. Uh so you can toss it to where it was, but it kind of jumps out of the way a little bit. And you you can see that a couple of its legs go dead. So it if it's moving around, uh, it's gonna have a little bit of a harder time. If you want to try and pin it down somehow, you're gonna have a bit of an easier time because it can't move around as fast.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:31

Can uh can I use a maneuver to move to uh to Zen to make sure that uh she's okay?

SPEAKER_07 1:44:37

Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna move to Zinn and She's definitely got the wind knocked out of her, she but it's uh not not anything super injurious. She's a she's an professional amateur swoop racer, so she's taken her fair share of tumbles.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:51

And I guess that's my turn, really.

SPEAKER_12 1:44:53

Yeah, because I I I think my turn would have been fumbling out my my lightsaber, failing to fumble my lightsaber.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:00

Rush it and attack.

SPEAKER_12 1:45:01

Maybe. Maybe you want to like rapple it to immobilize it.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:05

Rip some of its legs off.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:06

Rip the his other legs off. I could just rip the legs off, yeah. Okay, that's what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:11

Okay, so this will probably just be a games' base brawn then, so that will be a give you a destiny point, a red and three purples for all to try and rip some of these legs off. Uh, since you're specifically targeting the legs, that'll be calling your shots, that'll have two black as well. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:28

So one red, three purples, two black.

unknown 1:45:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:32

Four success, three threat, two dark side.

SPEAKER_12 1:45:34

What do you get rid of the wait, three threat and two dark side? So you can't get rid of all the threat.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:39

So you can run up and start ripping its legs off, but because you're ripping its legs off, you are now its target.

SPEAKER_05 1:45:48

Oh yeah. I mean, that was expected.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:50

Yeah. So it's gonna be focusing on you, but you're a big guy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:45:53

Such a better eye. It's probably good to keep the attention off the Jedi at least for whatever the heck he's gonna be doing. Let the tank do his thing. Let him work his magic.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:04

And the Jedi, he says, this thing, its mind is warped, it's damaged. Are any of you healers?

SPEAKER_12 1:46:11

Uh, Yuria.

SPEAKER_10 1:46:13

Uh.

SPEAKER_12 1:46:14

Yeah, you're a healer, technically.

SPEAKER_10 1:46:16

I can still heal if I use a mediciner already.

SPEAKER_12 1:46:20

Oh, yeah, you can't use the heal heal from heal harm.

SPEAKER_10 1:46:25

I can heal him, I can heal him real good.

SPEAKER_12 1:46:28

Yeah, baby, I can fix him.

SPEAKER_10 1:46:30

Uh, I can see what I can do, but I need to be hands-on.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:35

You don't need to use your hands when you have the force.

SPEAKER_10 1:46:37

Uh, I do.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:39

No, I do. Join your will with mine. Together we may be able to calm this beast. Ooh, would he let you use the light side? With his help, you can ignore the light side restriction.

SPEAKER_06 1:46:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:55

Nice. So, because you are not only doing a physical this is not physical, this is mental healing that you have to do to this this thing. So this is going to be a discipline check.

SPEAKER_06 1:47:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:10

You have the control critical.

SPEAKER_06 1:47:12

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:13

We're essentially he has what is the equivalent of a mental critical injury to his psyche. Oh. You can add this guy's discipline. If you want to join your discipline with his, you can for a combined rule. He has four ranks.

SPEAKER_10 1:47:29

I have two ranks.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:30

Okay, so you can use his ranks if you want.

SPEAKER_10 1:47:32

So I can have four yellow plus two green?

SPEAKER_07 1:47:35

Um, well, what is your what's your willpower?

SPEAKER_10 1:47:38

Uh, two uh uh uh uh uh four.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:42

Yeah, you've got four willpower, uh, and adding his four ranks that would be four yellows. Damn, you got this Illyria.

SPEAKER_10 1:47:50

Um four success, two threat, two dark side, two light side. Equally balanced.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:57

As all things should be.

SPEAKER_12 1:47:58

Man, I was gonna be like, shut up as if I'm only saying that because I didn't say it first.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:05

So this.

SPEAKER_12 1:48:06

Gavin, I can't believe you could say that.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:08

There is a bit of There's a bit of psychic backlash as you and this Jedi try and uh heal the thing that has been damaging it in its mind, and you can feel feel this thing's pain at being cast out, at being injured, the physical injury as well as the mental injury of of ending up in this place. You can feel falling for what feels like an eternity, almost drowning in in water, and then being like scooped up, brought to this place, dumped here, being forced to live in a cave until a bunch of robots found you and captured you and put you down here. Gave your spider legs? Yeah. Well, you gave yourself the spider legs. Built them in a cave! A box of scraps. And Starzan, this thing is about to lunge at you, but then it stops and it it like an inch from your face, and it looks at you with those yellow eyes and it says, You are not my enemy.

SPEAKER_09 1:49:14

And it sort of coils back up. Kiss, kiss, kiss.

SPEAKER_12 1:49:19

Kiss him like you kissed his brother.

SPEAKER_07 1:49:23

Complete the set.

SPEAKER_12 1:49:26

You must kiss all of them.

SPEAKER_07 1:49:28

And he turns back to you, Elyria, and he says, What have you done with my pain?

SPEAKER_10 1:49:32

I've fixed you. I will try to fix you. And I succeeded. Do you ever communicate in movie quotes or song lyrics?

SPEAKER_11 1:49:44

Nah.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:46

I have never seen a movie or heard a song.

SPEAKER_10 1:49:50

I'm sure you'd love them. Yeah, you're like.

SPEAKER_12 1:50:00

Why have you helped me?

SPEAKER_07 1:50:03

And maybe uh hand it over to Zinn. And he sees Zinn and he says, Sister. And he says, Brother, our people are gone. They have been destroyed. You are, I think, all that remains. And he seems kind of sad about this.

SPEAKER_12 1:50:18

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:20

This is even my brother, even Savage.

SPEAKER_12 1:50:23

Oh, Savage! Oh! Oh, we met him.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_12 1:50:27

Yeah, remember Starze and you uh you you uh yeah, you two are having a good pump sesh together. Remember.

SPEAKER_14 1:50:33

We would squat and thrust.

SPEAKER_12 1:50:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 1:50:36

And uh clean and jerk. Does he yet live?

SPEAKER_12 1:50:39

We don't know. We had to uh we had to let him out on a planet so he wouldn't be killed, but we haven't really heard anything from him, uh. So maybe. Hopefully, no idea.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:51

I do not sense confidence in your tone.

SPEAKER_12 1:50:53

Well, yeah, because I just said I have no idea. No shit, I don't have confidence in my tone, dude. It's possible.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:59

Check credit. You said you were from the Imperial Knights. Which Empire do you hail from?

SPEAKER_12 1:51:05

Uh the Galactic one? The the current How long have you been down here?

SPEAKER_07 1:51:09

And he hears you say galactic empire. And he kind of retreats back into himself, not like recoils or anything, but just like mem like he's like something buried deep inside, and he says, then he has done it.

SPEAKER_11 1:51:23

Whom?

SPEAKER_12 1:51:25

Who done what?

SPEAKER_07 1:51:26

Who is your emperor?

SPEAKER_12 1:51:28

Uh uh Palpatine, the uh the Chancellor.

SPEAKER_07 1:51:30

And he grins this like mirthless grin, almost a grimace, where it's like, he wants to laugh, but he also finds it slightly disgusting.

SPEAKER_12 1:51:41

Haha, I feel like there's a joke that we're not in on right now. What's going on?

SPEAKER_00 1:51:46

That is the only name you know him by.

SPEAKER_11 1:51:48

Uh uh, yeah, is that a different name we should be knowing him by?

SPEAKER_00 1:51:52

When I served him, I knew him as Darth Sidious.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:56

Uh, he felt he feels very sheavy to me. I'm sorry, Daddy. Yeah, Big Daddy.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:01

Yes, you serve him, you wear armor of Sith, you carry the weapons of Sith, but you do not know your master's true name?

SPEAKER_12 1:52:10

Uh he's not really our master. Like, we, you know, he's the Emperor, we're the Imperial Knights, but like he's never been a master to us. Like, does he even does he even have the force?

SPEAKER_01 1:52:21

More than you could comprehend. He was the one who left me to die.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:26

Talking about Shiv Palpatine. What does that so what does that mean for us?

SPEAKER_12 1:52:30

Yeah, we're talking like, you know, old man, so like real shriveled and grandpa-like. The the New York Funny.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:37

Do you think the force resides in this crude matter?

SPEAKER_12 1:52:40

Look, my matter's not that crude, man. You don't have to be rude about it. I know what you mean. I'm just, you know, lightening the mood. What what do you mean? What do you mean? That Palpatine's a doth? We what do you mean, Palpatine's a doth?

SPEAKER_00 1:52:54

This is news to you. Do you believe that you serve the forces of good?

SPEAKER_05 1:52:58

I mean. I mean, I've you know, every once in a while you've got to get your hands dirty, but uh we So you're telling me the cops are the bad guys? Are we Zabatis? Uh every one every once in a while we got to get our hands dirty, but uh we do it for the peace and order of ma of uh uh Galactic Kind.

SPEAKER_12 1:53:21

Yeah, the Jedi were trying to overthrow the Republic. We were protecting democracy.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:25

I had I had visions from Starzan's point of view that empires. The Jedi were too weak to stop what happened.

SPEAKER_12 1:53:32

Well the Jet they were the cause of what happened.

SPEAKER_07 1:53:35

So we have feelings are the cause of many things.

SPEAKER_12 1:53:37

Yeah, yeah, okay, we're in agreement about something. There we go.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:41

But what has replaced them? Very interesting.

SPEAKER_12 1:53:44

Well, I mean, like, to be to be fair, like I I guess we're not super politically involved. We've been kind of focusing on trying to like rebuild the Imperial Knights into something that can like start taking on students again and just like do it better than the the Jedi did it, like, you know, no baby snatching, no no casting people off when they they aren't useful to you anymore.

SPEAKER_10 1:54:04

Yeah, we're apolitical.

SPEAKER_12 1:54:08

I don't know if we're apolitical. I think we're all just too stupid to really comprehend politics. I feel like we're easily duped.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:14

Thought the same thing.

SPEAKER_12 1:54:16

We believe in trickle-down economics.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:20

Trickle-down force power. You see, the jet weapons be the masters. We haven't found the weapons yet, but we when we find the weapons, we will know Zadwe are right. We have very good.

SPEAKER_12 1:54:30

Surely Alidas wouldn't have sent us into the desert for nothing.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:54:35

Could I roll perception on this guy? I don't want to believe I've been this easily duped. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:54:40

Uh against what, his deception?

SPEAKER_12 1:54:43

I guess if he's trying to mislead us.

SPEAKER_07 1:54:45

Is he trying to mislead us? Hey Chris, how much of somebody's fool are you?

SPEAKER_05 1:54:48

Oh, Chris, you're not anyone's fool at all. I believe I'm two times nobody f nobody's fool.

SPEAKER_07 1:54:54

Yeah, so what's your uh what's your discipline then?

SPEAKER_05 1:54:56

My dick duplin is one o'clock in the morning.

SPEAKER_12 1:55:01

Y'all shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_10 1:55:03

Look, Big Daddy Sheeve told us we were good boys.

SPEAKER_12 1:55:05

Yeah, she believed in us when the Jedi just like kept calling us dropouts. Yeah, that'd be two bits.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:10

Grandpa Sheeve.

SPEAKER_12 1:55:12

Are you trying to imply that?

SPEAKER_04 1:55:12

He gave us worders' originals.

SPEAKER_12 1:55:14

Are you trying to imply that we're vain and easily swayed by any sort of flattery and attention?

SPEAKER_07 1:55:20

Are you?

SPEAKER_12 1:55:21

No one.

SPEAKER_07 1:55:22

That's an interesting role. No. Uh so on his deception, he got uh a success and advantage, a triumph, and a despair.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:33

Oh some of you fall for it.

SPEAKER_07 1:55:37

Well, this this is specifically against Chris. Okay. So if he was lying, you wouldn't be able to tell. But you get the feeling that, wait a fucking second, all those visions I had, Mace Winder was right. Oh no! Oh no! Oh god, I started having a panic attack. Oh no, and we killed them! Yeah, so you realize that everything you saw was true, but you were just looking at it from completely the wrong way. From a certain point of view. Where Mace Winder was not making baseless accusations about the the sitting uh leader of the government. He was legitimately trying to depose an evil uh dictator wizard. Uh good. And that when when you saw like the the visions you had of Anakin fighting his master, Anakin's a f Anakin's is a straight-up fucking fascist. Like he can be a chillstoner sometimes, but that dude is like, no, he's a fascist.

SPEAKER_12 1:56:32

Yeah, Anakin has been like pretty intense lately, like more than usual. Like he did try to choke me that one time, and then there's another time that got me feeling all kind of confused, but it was like, you know, I don't think we're getting by that other stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:56:43

You liked you liked the choking, therefore you thought it was a good thing. No, no. But it turned out it was a bad thing. No.

SPEAKER_12 1:56:49

It's when he was fixing my leg and it was like a whole thing. It doesn't matter. That's not what matters, Chris. What are you saying? Is this guy's not bullshitting us?

SPEAKER_05 1:56:57

Yeah, we're sure it's not bullshitting us, Chris because I listen, I uh I uh uh everything kind of makes more sense if Pelpatine is the uh bad guy, honestly.

SPEAKER_07 1:57:09

Everything feels as though I I I feel as though uh I don't have You did get like a weird sense when you were on that mission with like Quinlan Voss, like you did get a really weird, like dark side sense. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:21

Did I did I do I even have do I even have the ability to view the future? Or is my ability to view the future um manipulatable? Is that is that if that's a word?

SPEAKER_10 1:57:34

Wait, are you saying he only told us we were good boys because he was trying to manipulate us?

SPEAKER_12 1:57:39

Are you telling me that he maybe he also thought we were just dropouts? It is kind of weird that you all have red lightsabers.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:46

Look, we were just lightsabers are cool, it doesn't matter what color they are.

SPEAKER_12 1:57:49

Look, we're not holding on to stereotypes about red lightsabers being the tools of fascists. Like it could be for us, we're not fascists.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:57

And come to think of it, red is just a cool color.

SPEAKER_07 1:58:00

Like Ronaldo like lying, like the Empire, there isn't a ton of difference between that and the weird uh fascist society that you found on that sixth planet.

SPEAKER_12 1:58:10

Okay, okay, okay, God. I feel like uh you we've you've made your point. I feel like you've made your point, voice in the sky.

SPEAKER_05 1:58:17

Okay, so where come to think about it, I didn't really like red until all of a sudden I bec uh I uh uh took this job.

SPEAKER_12 1:58:26

Yeah, you've always been a green boy. Green to match your beautiful complexion.

SPEAKER_07 1:58:30

Cala has been a lot more irritable since she devoted her life to evil.

SPEAKER_12 1:58:34

I have been really irritable, like I have just been really on edge.

SPEAKER_05 1:58:37

I thought it was just you. I've known you for a while. I didn't feel hear that much of a change.

SPEAKER_12 1:58:47

That was Chris's evil awakening when he casually left a box of MIDAL on my dresser to make a point.

SPEAKER_10 1:58:56

I feel like I haven't changed at all.

SPEAKER_12 1:58:58

Well, Lyria, like, okay, like maybe you haven't changed, but like to be fair, you've always been a little um prideful. I know that you would say, like, no, yeah, absolutely not, but like, you know, we know ya. We've known ya.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:11

Are are you gonna use this opportunity to be like, um, what if I what if I do belong as an evil person? What if this is how uh this is how this is.

SPEAKER_12 1:59:21

I've not changed even a little bit.

SPEAKER_10 1:59:23

I'm calling the cops.

SPEAKER_12 1:59:26

I'm calling I'm calling the police on Spider-Man. Okay. Um, hmm. So where does this leave us? Cause like, uh, okay, I'm having a moment. So we can't take this Jedi back. We can't take you can't what sorry, I'm sorry, my friend. What's your name? I I don't want to keep calling you Spider-Man. It's just that like that we I don't think we've actually been introduced yet.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:50

My name is Maul.

SPEAKER_12 1:59:52

Cool. Uh Maul.

SPEAKER_10 1:59:56

Friendly.

SPEAKER_12 1:59:57

Shopping?

SPEAKER_05 1:59:58

Not quite.

SPEAKER_12 2:00:00

Would would we recognize that name and know that it's like, oh, that's the that's the one that uh Obi-Wan fought?

SPEAKER_07 2:00:07

It's not just the one that Obi-Wan fought. It's the one that your Jedi Captain Hallen fought and lost his leg to.

SPEAKER_12 2:00:16

Oh, right. I mean, but like, you know, Hallen kind of uh you know, I don't want to say fuck Hallen, but he it was wartime, things were tense. But like, oh shit, your mall. I've uh I've we've heard a lot about you. Um we can't take him back. We can't take him back. Like like not like a we have to leave you here thing, don't get me wrong, but it's like we like what do we do? What do we do? I like I it didn't You wanna go back? No, I don't wanna go back. I don't know. Like, I don't know, what else do we do? Like we can't keep work like we're not fascist, that's not what we joined up, right? We didn't mean to be fascists. I didn't wanna be I didn't want to be evil evil, I just thought that the Jedi were bad. Like, yeah, but that whole thing where like Starzan skewered Yoda and threw him around like a ragdoll, like that was maybe like but like that we were we were wiping out the Jedi.

SPEAKER_10 2:01:10

That was look the green one? Some hm?

SPEAKER_12 2:01:13

Huh? You skewered him? Yeah, that's that a problem?

SPEAKER_01 2:01:17

No, but I understand why my master keeps you around if you have such power.

SPEAKER_10 2:01:22

Look, maybe we can change things from the inside.

SPEAKER_12 2:01:26

Uh Lyria, I uhlyria, I know that you love calling the police on people having picnics in the park, but like I feel like even you have to admit that, like, maybe we've gotten in a little bit over our heads.

SPEAKER_10 2:01:39

I didn't like how she said that we weren't human when everyone is different races.

SPEAKER_12 2:01:46

Yeah, like I didn't realize that Renala is harboring like these human supremacist tendencies. And like, yeah, sure, maybe we should have taken it a little bit more seriously when they're all those creepy human people who kept posting like loving propaganda-asque posters of Starzan. I just, you know, thought they were enthusiasts, you know, like they follow the tabloids. Like, Starzan's a quite the specimen, like, objectively, not just because he's a human. Starzan, you're a specimen. Like, I just don't, you know. Complete unit.

unknown 2:02:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 2:02:13

Oh my god, he's human? I thought he was like some sort of giant guy.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:17

It's uh Starzan. He's a giant human guy. From I got the my Starzan has received his power from the Star Zor Staroid.

SPEAKER_12 2:02:24

Yeah, maybe I should have called in when people kept doing fan out of Starzan where they were uh giving him like Viking inspired runes and tattoos and stuff.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:32

Oh yeah. Runes. It's a red flag. Stepping and stepping on them.

SPEAKER_12 2:02:37

Ooh, stepping on aliens. Cause like, oh, like we can't k like, we can't go back. Can we? What do we do? Guys, I don't know what to do. What do we do?

SPEAKER_10 2:02:48

Uh Biscon to another galaxy far far away.

SPEAKER_12 2:02:51

Oh god. In Star Wars. But it's like, we we did this. We helped to do this. This is what we wanted. We just wanted like the Jedi to be different, to be better, to stop, you know, fucking with politics. I mean to stop snatching babies.

SPEAKER_05 2:03:06

Turns out if we were easily duped, what if, um I I mean, what if we're being duped right now?

SPEAKER_12 2:03:12

Do you think we're being duped right now, Chris? I hear you nobody's fool.

SPEAKER_05 2:03:15

No, genuinely, I don't think we're being duped right now. If it's just like it's unbelievable.

SPEAKER_12 2:03:20

I don't think we're being duped right now either. And like, Zin, how are you feeling?

SPEAKER_10 2:03:24

You would trust the red painted Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_12 2:03:29

Listen. I he's telling the truth.

SPEAKER_07 2:03:34

But why is he telling the truth?

SPEAKER_12 2:03:36

Why why are you telling the truth? You could be lying to us. You could just lie to us. For that matter, if you're wanting to get revenge, you could just lie and be like, oh, I'm just a little guy, I want to help out with your order, and then like try to get closer to Palpatine and Markham.

SPEAKER_01 2:03:49

It's true that I want to avenge myself to steal my former master's throat in my hands. But just killing him would not undo that all that he has done. A greater victory would be to tear down everything he built, everything that he used me as a tool for, and then discarded me. If you want my help to destroy his empire, I will aid you.

SPEAKER_12 2:04:17

I mean, and you know him. You worked with him, you uh you were you were an apprentice, you you know, right? Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_05 2:04:24

Does that mean we have to be spies within a spy agency again?

SPEAKER_12 2:04:27

We were spies. If it's like we're we go back and uh you know, we filed false reports and then we keep like I I guess like Illyria said, fixing it from the inside.

SPEAKER_10 2:04:39

Or destroy it from the inside? I mean, objectively we've been doing a bad job. We have been fucking up every mission that we've been sent on. What?

SPEAKER_05 2:04:47

We have been lying constantly about the job that we've done.

SPEAKER_12 2:04:52

Listen, it just comes naturally to us, which means that we're perfect for this. Destroy it from the inside, right?

SPEAKER_05 2:04:59

I mean, we're gonna have to play it very close to the chest, and we're gonna need a a new uh uh Zin is still around, right? Zin is understanding that, like, how is Zinn reacting to this?

SPEAKER_07 2:05:11

She's happy that uh a seemingly a powerful wielder of her people's magic is still alive and uh not totally insane right now.

SPEAKER_12 2:05:20

Okay, that's good. Because like Zin, you you work you're a Senate aide.

SPEAKER_05 2:05:24

Like, are you wanting How do you feel about Zis Revelation?

SPEAKER_12 2:05:28

Yeah, like are you wanting to go back back to Coruscant, go back to your job and like just try to play it cool, or like you and uh Mr. Mal here, like, you know, find a safe place to hide out and like we can figure out next steps.

SPEAKER_07 2:05:41

Well, I have heard that this Darth Sidious person was the one who was the leader of the Confederacy, who was the one holding Grievous' leash.

SPEAKER_12 2:05:54

So We were fighting separatists and it was oh my we we were.

SPEAKER_07 2:05:59

So if he was the one who told Grievous to destroy my planet, then I have no love for him.

SPEAKER_12 2:06:04

Kell's just having a fucking crisis right now. I thought we were doing the right thing. I thought we were doing the right thing. I thought we were protecting the republic and like, yeah, I shall change the aims into the Empire, but like we were doing it right.

SPEAKER_07 2:06:16

It's just one guy playing checkers against himself.

SPEAKER_14 2:06:19

Our face is real red right now. One old man in the park.

SPEAKER_05 2:06:23

I feel a shame. I am so not easily seduced. Usually it is moi who does the seducing.

SPEAKER_12 2:06:30

Ugh, that's okay. We were all seduced. We were all duped. We were all persuaded by one asshole who didn't call us a drop out. It was so stupid, stupid, stupid cala. Okay, so because here's the thing. Like, Zin, if you don't come back with us, like that could I I worry that that could raise questions if you don't come back with us. Like if we're bringing back I keep wanting to call you by your son's name, my friend, and I I know I have it written down Kento. If we bring back Kento's lightsaber, and it's like we weren't able to find the the the Knight Sisters, we weren't able to find the leads, but we we brought back another Fallen Jedi's lightsaber. Hooray, like look at us, we did a good job. Maybe that would like help keep heat off us for a little bit. We find somewhere for like Maul to kind of set up shop and like we can coordinate. What do we think? What do we think?

SPEAKER_05 2:07:21

I mean, so far I feel as though that was the uh direction that we were gonna go anyway.

SPEAKER_11 2:07:26

Yeah. Like we lie to the SBI all the time.

SPEAKER_05 2:07:30

We do. And like I think that I mean, what what's another another lie as long as they don't like, you know, uh as long as they don't look into it too deeply.

SPEAKER_12 2:07:39

There are those two that we know are spying on us. So uh gonna wow.

SPEAKER_05 2:07:43

We need to be sure we take care of them first.

SPEAKER_12 2:07:46

Yeah. Or at least watch us step around them while we're uh trying to figure things out.

SPEAKER_04 2:07:52

Hmm.

SPEAKER_06 2:07:52

Hmm.

SPEAKER_12 2:07:53

Uh man, I wasn't ready for this kind of uh don't think I was ready for this today.

SPEAKER_04 2:07:58

A huge plot twist.

SPEAKER_12 2:07:59

A huge plot twist. Damn, Spider Maul, you've really uh you really fucked up really.

SPEAKER_05 2:08:04

You've really fucked us up.

SPEAKER_12 2:08:06

My day was going perfectly good. Well, not really. So, like, what what do we what do we think? We have any idea of like where might be a a safe place for for Maul to go?

SPEAKER_00 2:08:16

Why not here?

SPEAKER_12 2:08:17

Honestly? We can pirate. You just take control of all the droids? Or we just like, you know, go through and just let off all these EMP grenades.

SPEAKER_01 2:08:27

That will not be necessary.

SPEAKER_05 2:08:29

If there's a time and place to own a uh to have a uh a droid army on our side, it's when we're about to go against the Empire. That feels right.

SPEAKER_12 2:08:39

You said that'll not be necessary. I feel like there's about to be some sort of reveal or something here.

SPEAKER_01 2:08:44

I was privy to many of my master's plans.

SPEAKER_12 2:08:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:08:48

My gags are slightly inoperable. If you would help me out of this pit, I can show you.

SPEAKER_11 2:08:54

Oh yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_01 2:08:54

Do we do we trust him?

SPEAKER_05 2:08:56

Yeah, well, I mean, at this point we may as well. I feel like I feel like we're on board. He he he he he feels as though it's not as if he's trustworthy, because he's obviously not trustworthy, but like the enemy of my enemy is my friend kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_12 2:09:11

There's something about this guy that I just wanna be friends with. Don't unpack why.

SPEAKER_05 2:09:17

When we when we find Ahsoka, that's gonna be real fucked up.

SPEAKER_12 2:09:21

Uh yeah, she's dead.

SPEAKER_07 2:09:24

It's gonna be him and Anakin uh competing against each other to see who gets to kill Obi-Wan.

SPEAKER_04 2:09:30

Boys, boys, boys.

SPEAKER_07 2:09:32

There's enough of me to go around. Perfect. So you can help him up, and the droids are all looking in the pit, and they say, What happened down there?

SPEAKER_08 2:09:42

Where's the pirate king?

SPEAKER_07 2:09:44

Oh, pirate king's dead. Long live the pirate the new Pirate King.

SPEAKER_08 2:09:47

All you guys are in for it now!

SPEAKER_07 2:09:50

And they all raise their blasters at you.

SPEAKER_12 2:09:52

You uh got something up your sleeve, you mole.

SPEAKER_07 2:09:55

Execute Order 99. And all of the droids straighten up and they say, New directives accepted. What does that one do?

SPEAKER_01 2:10:04

My master had many contingencies in place to make sure that whoever won his war, the army would remain compliant. This one makes it so the droid armies serve a single master.

SPEAKER_12 2:10:17

Oh. So uh congratulations, you got a droid army. Yes, I do. This isn't gonna be the power where you betray us, right? That sounded a little ominous how you said that.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:27

This isn't gonna bite us in the ass later.

SPEAKER_12 2:10:29

You aren't gonna bite us in the ass later, are ya?

SPEAKER_01 2:10:31

Feel free to leave this world as you please. We will stay in touch.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:37

Is there a uh secret uh is there like a uh uh a line that we could reach you at that is like, you know, nobody could tap into?

SPEAKER_01 2:10:45

Yes, I can provide you a channel that was used only between me and my master.

SPEAKER_12 2:10:51

Any chance your master might still be listening in on it?

SPEAKER_01 2:10:54

Now it is likely being used by my master and his new apprentice if he has one.

SPEAKER_12 2:11:00

Oh, that's probably Anakin! Anakin's still so close to the Emperor. I thought it was just like, you know, uh good work and relationship, but it's like, ooh, that would make sense. Oh, Anakin.

SPEAKER_10 2:11:11

Oh, I bet I bet the Emperor also told him he was a good boy.

SPEAKER_11 2:11:15

Uh, I bet he did. I bet when he talks to Anakin about us behind our backs, he calls us dropouts.

SPEAKER_04 2:11:20

That's why I'll be giving Amos Donor. I'm such a good boy. She's given him all the best Kronik.

SPEAKER_12 2:11:29

Man, Anakin does always have the best weed.

SPEAKER_04 2:11:33

Anakin, has anyone ever told you the story of Chronic the beast? Chronic the Hedgehog. You smoke this sticky, Anakin.

SPEAKER_12 2:11:50

Wait, shit, I'm coming back around on the Emperor. Okay, and um and uh Kanto, you Galen and the uh the crew What are you thinking for yourselves?

SPEAKER_01 2:12:01

This thing is an enemy of the Sith. I bear it no ill will. Oh, good. But if it becomes an enemy of the galaxy, then I may have to come out of retirement, as it were.

SPEAKER_11 2:12:14

Okay, but we still need to take your lightsaber. I feel like that's kind of still a necessity here.

SPEAKER_07 2:12:18

That is acceptable. And he looks to Chris and he says, You can keep my gun. If I'm going to renounce violence, I will renounce it in all its forms.

SPEAKER_05 2:12:26

Oh, this is your gun? This thing is so cool. I d I I didn't want to, um uh thank you.

SPEAKER_12 2:12:33

I was planning to give it back anyway, so that does work out good.

SPEAKER_05 2:12:36

Yeah, no, I thought this was just some random scrap people had, but if this is your gun, if you're allowed me to have it, then I appreciate it. Thank you. I will uh uh repay you in kind. Some someday. Not today, though.

SPEAKER_12 2:12:49

Not today.

SPEAKER_05 2:12:49

Not today.

SPEAKER_12 2:12:50

I guess we're going back to our new life as double agents.

SPEAKER_07 2:12:54

So you can leave this downed hulk on this junk planet, leaving behind Maul and his army of battle droids. Kento and his son and the uh transport crew return to their battered ship to take him to wherever it was he was planning to go before he was uh captured by pirates. And you can return aboard the terrible turn after things have taken a terrible turn. And uh begin your new old life as spies next time on Star Wars Empire Wreckers. This week's episode is brought to you by our top patrons, Alpha Bros 522, David B, Eric Charles Perazzo, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Matthew Lynette, Suki Nintendo, Thomas Davidson, and Vaginator.