Empire Wreckers

S14E13 - Beast Rider

Empire Wreckers Season 14 Episode 13

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0:00 | 2:11:30

It is a period of oppression. The Galactic Empire, backed by the sinister Imperial Knights, has closed its fist around the once free worlds of the Republic.

Fighting back against this evil are the Empire Wreckers, a band of former Knights who have rescued hundreds of carbonite-frozen prisoners from a top secret ISB Prison.

With the prisoners in tow, the crew must decide where to take them, and whether to risk bringing them all into the light, or hide them safely in the shadows....

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SPEAKER_03

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Wreckers, a Star Wars actual play podcast that likes to inflict heinous things upon its players. Who's ready to be inflicted today?

SPEAKER_07

Cala's ready to be inflicted today, and after she had an evil spirit plugged into her brain against her will, how could it possibly get worse?

SPEAKER_04

Hello, J'mappel uh Chris Ount, and I now understand that uh this is the only show uh the only way is to learn by playing, the only way is to win by is by learning, and the only way is to begin is by beginning.

SPEAKER_00

Starzan is ready to be inflicted on anybody who dares cross his path. Starzan was known to fight, and recently he was in the fighting pits to fight a marshal from Navarro. Starzan made them tap out in 17 seconds because he is heinous.

SPEAKER_05

And Illyria is used to being inflicted with heinous things, so it doesn't hurt her anymore. She's just kinda dead inside now.

SPEAKER_03

Delia. And if you're ready to be dead inside, why don't you come along with us to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in Star Wars? It is a period of oppression. The Galactic Empire, backed by the sinister Imperial Knights, has closed its fist around the once free worlds of the Republic. Fighting back against this evil are the Empire Wreckers, a band of former knights who have rescued hundreds of Carbonite frozen prisoners from a top-secret ISB prison. With the prisoners in tow, the crew must decide where to take them and whether to risk bringing them all into the light or hide them safely in the shadows. So you have two ships carrying two silos full of probably 200 Carbonite frozen prisoners. Uh among them, Severance Tan, the uh former commander of the Separatist Army, a Chis Dark Jedi who may have clues to the whereabouts of Illyria's parents. Among them, Nuru Kangarama, uh another Chis Jedi Padawan that was taken to the prison uh rather than being subjected to Order 66. Among them, a group of improv students that you met one time. Among them, Queen Jewel, a Hut Crime Lord from the bowels, of course, and among them Zin Kudri, Chris's uh on again, off again, on again, off again girlfriend, and many, many, many others who have nothing to do with you. You have them spread across two ships, uh, one, the clandestine crow, your YT 1300 freighter, and the other, the hasty harpy belonging to Lalo Gun, uh, a secret ISB agent that was posing as a delivery driver for the prison. Uh so where do you want to take these um these people? Do you want to take them back to your base? Do you want to sit down on some neutral planet and figure out what to do with them? Do you know anybody who's trying to take over the underworld that would appreciate the delivery of a Carbonite frozen hut?

SPEAKER_07

Oh, we do. Darth Maul. Oh, yeah, so of course. I heard a silence and it's like, wait, let me uh clarify.

SPEAKER_04

I was I was literally trying to rack my brain.

SPEAKER_07

No, because it's like, personally, I'm like, I I don't know if I want to be bringing all these people back to our base because it's like Queen Jewel, absolutely not. I don't want a hut crime lord there, especially one who uh humiliated us quite quite heartily.

SPEAKER_04

Unfortunately, there's a lot of infighting on our side.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. And also it's like, even the people who are like, oh, like just harmless civilians who are arrested because they had like brief contact with us, like, we don't know where their allegiances lie. I I have no reason to think that those imp like there would not be one of those improv students that was way in on the current regime. I don't I don't I don't trust improv students.

SPEAKER_04

Cause it's like they pull imaginary guns on us.

unknown

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04

One had a mega uh pin.

SPEAKER_07

Look, I do seem to recall that when you led them into that hotel pretending to be rats, um w they did start to make some kind of racist jokes and they were mostly humans, so like do with that what we will.

SPEAKER_04

And then they started yelling at us, make the emperor great again.

SPEAKER_07

God no. I mean, maybe they would now. We don't know. We don't know these people.

SPEAKER_04

We don't know these people.

SPEAKER_07

Cause it's like, if we uh wanted to go to Maul first to like drop off because like that would be a safe planet for us, or at least safe ish. So it's like we give him Queen Jewel, do with her what you will if you need help getting in with the huts, and maybe like take a closer look at who we have frozen, if there's any other like criminals that would be better in his custody than with us. And for the people where it's like, as far as we know, you're just s you're just civilians, like maybe just dropping them off on a uh a neutral world. Like only bring bringing back the people that we like know and trust to our base personally.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, where do we put the rest then?

SPEAKER_07

That's what I was just saying. We make a couple stops, we go to mall first, offload some of them there, take a closer look at what we're working with when we are we're while we're on a safe world and we're not under duress.

SPEAKER_04

Then I mean we're we're always under duress at any minute is my is part of my uh thing. And also, like great point, Chris.

SPEAKER_07

Why don't you re why don't you go review the roster on these things while we're in hyperspace? Should I always under duress.

SPEAKER_04

Should should I uh should I uh uh uh interview all of the uh people who are left to see uh who we can trust and who not?

SPEAKER_07

I mean they're all still in Carbonite, so it's like we're we got we got some leeway with them at least. We don't have a bunch of clamoring people yelling at us.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Well uh let's let I I mean if uh mall's our first stop, let's stop off at mall, I guess.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, let's maybe stop off at mall. Do we do we have the well, I guess we couldn't while we were like in space, because they're all in these uh silos. Because I was like, do we want to like unthaw Zinn right away because it's like we that's one of the people that we specifically have there for?

SPEAKER_04

I would absolutely like to uh uh defrost Zinn.

SPEAKER_07

Would we be able to, or would we have to wait till we were on a planet to uh get access to the silo?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you you wouldn't be able to unthaw anybody until you actually like set down somewhere.

SPEAKER_07

Okay. Well once we're on Maul's planet, we can thaw out Zin and uh anyone that we immediately want to get out of Carbonite.

SPEAKER_04

Now now that we're in this situation, I feel like I'm gonna I I feel like I'm gonna stick with her. I feel like uh I I I feel like the on and on on on again off again thing for the ask her to go steady with you finally. The on again, off again thing uh that we've been doing for for the public, it's a little bit too uh uh uh not the point of what we're doing right now.

SPEAKER_05

You're very confident that she wants to keep you.

SPEAKER_04

I hope so.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, uh when you say like you're gonna go steady, you don't want to be on again, off again. Are you still gonna be Polly?

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah, no, no, no, absolutely no doubt. Yeah, Polly wants his cracker. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Only sleeps of a white dude.

SPEAKER_04

What why why were you interested or something?

SPEAKER_06

No, I'm just curious.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_07

Just uh Look, I just want to make, you know, you and Zinn, I feel like you'll put a lot of effort into customizing your cock chair, your shared cock chair. It'd be a shame if that all went to waste. And it never got used anymore.

SPEAKER_04

Listen, just because I'm going steady with her doesn't mean that I'm being that that I'm becoming a loser. She's uh secretly homogamous. Secretly leaking facts to gossip mags.

SPEAKER_07

Look, we've established that Chris is his biggest source of leak. Chris is his own biggest leaker. Chris loves leaking.

SPEAKER_04

Hey, I told you, I haven't had to worry wear diaper in 20 years.

SPEAKER_03

Ah, Jesus. Okay, we're going to mall. You can go to mall uh to Lotho Minor, and uh as you uh exit hyperspace and pull down into the atmosphere in the hasty harpy, um the droid cleaver is like, uh, excuse me, daddy, daddy, when will mother be joining us? Daddy?

SPEAKER_04

That programs into me like that.

SPEAKER_08

Alright.

SPEAKER_04

I think is calling me daddy? Did I did I do that? I haven't been able to listen. Uh sorry, uh sorry, what was your question? Well, daddy, when will mummy be joining us? Oh, that's um may maybe soon. I I feel like the uh whole daddy thing, yeah, you know what, we we don't need to talk about Zed right now. Hopefully sooner as it's than later. Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_07

Mummy went out to get a pack of cigarettes. Mummy's not coming back.

SPEAKER_03

And presumably you you radioed ahead to Maul to tell him you were coming now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

So his droids wouldn't just immediately gun us down?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you can set down outside uh his base. And he does have droids uh patrolling the entrance, and you can see that Proxy is uh there to greet you.

SPEAKER_07

Hey, quick cue before Paw Proxy greets us, because how long would we have been in transit coming here?

SPEAKER_03

Um, well, that depends on why don't you uh Illyria, do you want to have rolls and astrogation?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, give me uh give me a two purple.

SPEAKER_05

For success, what advantage?

SPEAKER_03

Uh you found a very quick route to Lotham.

SPEAKER_07

Cause I know the answer, but I feel like this would still be a reasonable thing for us to think to do. Would we have had time to check the hasty harpy for any like trackers or monitoring equipment? Because we knew that this lady was like an imperial agent.

SPEAKER_03

Um well that would be Chris and Starzan who are aboard that ship doing a perception check.

SPEAKER_07

Oh.

SPEAKER_03

Let's see.

SPEAKER_07

Oh yeah, Lyrian Iron.

SPEAKER_03

What's gonna be deception jig? So this would be against either her uh deception or skullduggery. So that would be let's see. Uh so that would be a perception against two red and a purple. Fuck off.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna let you go first. Okay, I got two success. I got a despair.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, Chris! Oh no!

SPEAKER_04

Oh Chris! So just a despair.

SPEAKER_03

Is anything else? Uh just a despair. So, Starzan, uh, you can find the tracking device that she has installed aboard her ship and disable it. Unfortunately, uh, Chris, not uh, because you got that despair, not before uh a proximity sensor pings on the ship's readouts, and uh Cleaver says, Oh, it's mummy, it's mummy, come to see us. Nope. And you can see on your ship sensors, like as you're setting down on Lotho Miner, a freighter, just a sort of generic bulk freighter that she probably absconded with from the mining facility, has also entered the atmosphere of the planet.

SPEAKER_04

Um, power down, please.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, Daddy.

SPEAKER_04

He shuts himself off. This feels like something that we should probably deal with.

SPEAKER_05

Let's tell Malt. No, I won't say that.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, he does have a lot of droids here. He does have a lot of droid patrols that uh I feel bad killing this lady. I I shouldn't say just because she's a stalker. That's not the only reason. We don't want her reporting this back to the Empire, but also I feel bad about killing this lady. We're trying to turn our morality around.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, then don't. We could probably just like, I don't know, something else. I'm not with you.

SPEAKER_05

You need to distract her, Chris. Again.

SPEAKER_03

Uh okay, I'll I'll hail her. I'm like, uh, hello. So she's bringing her ship in and she's sitting down. She can talk to you over the radio, and she says, Chris, you left without continuing our conversation.

SPEAKER_04

Uh, yeah, sorry about that. I, uh, my mind my mind sometimes wanders. Uh uh please forgive me.

SPEAKER_03

I uh I know we need to stop that wandering of yours. It's okay. This ship has a fusion cutter. We can amputate your legs so you don't wander anymore.

SPEAKER_08

Whoa.

SPEAKER_03

Um It's okay, Chris. I only need you to be on your back.

SPEAKER_04

Listen, does she have some kind of obsession with Chris? Like what's the other one? Yes.

SPEAKER_07

She was the one who almost uh dropped herself off a walkway last time trying to coerce Chris into marrying her.

SPEAKER_05

She wants to be his one and only. He doesn't she wasn't doesn't want him to be Polly anymore.

SPEAKER_04

Listen, uh, between uh I hope you don't take this uh personally, but I think we should start seeing other people.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I don't think that's gonna work, Chris. I do, goodbye. So she sets down, and uh she comes down the ramp of the freighter, blaster in one hand, fusion cutter in the other. Oh my god! He's gonna cut his fusion off. And she and she shouts, uh, you can kinda hear uh dimly from inside the ship.

SPEAKER_02

She shouts Chris, you better come out. You wouldn't want me to call the Empire. Oh my lord.

SPEAKER_04

Do we have to do we have to like We might have to blast her brains out even better than Chris did? Chris, you did her too good. Oh man. W what if I have sex with her again, but this time I do it badly? Oh no, that can't happen.

SPEAKER_07

Chris, come on!

SPEAKER_04

I'm too good at it. I it's it's impossible.

SPEAKER_07

We gotta recognize your limitations. I don't think that you can fake that. I don't think you could bring yourself to do it.

SPEAKER_04

Oh man. I'd fuck her look.

SPEAKER_07

Does anyone have a stun setting on their who has a stun setting? Me.

SPEAKER_03

Well you tried that. She just rolled out of the way.

SPEAKER_07

Oh. Oh yeah, she rolled out of the way and off that off the walkway. That was last time. That was last time.

SPEAKER_04

But this is definitely not gonna have to be. The time is now. Now that we've all rolled uh a pitiful uh uh original like destiny point roll and now have one uh one despair uh in 20 minutes. Great opening. Yes, we're doing well.

SPEAKER_07

Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

SPEAKER_05

Do you have a special kill thought ability? Well, no, because I'm trying to remember I if Is there salt peter for girls? Am I chooggy for saying thought? Do people say thought anymore?

SPEAKER_07

I don't think people have said th I don't think people have said either of those words for many years. Choogie?

SPEAKER_04

I don't know.

SPEAKER_07

No, I don't think people I don't think people have said chuggy for like ten years.

SPEAKER_04

I don't think I've never heard that word before.

SPEAKER_07

That's from Coke. That's like making fun of millennial cringe. Yeah. Cause I'm I'm just trying to think. Because if my memory is correct, I believe there's like a rule in the book where it's like you can use a force power that you don't have access to, like at the basic level, if it's like you flip a destiny point or something, and it's like you can only do it once a game. I I don't think we've used it forever, but I think that is technically a thing. Am I incorrect?

SPEAKER_03

When a player character attempts to use the force for an action that is not covered by any force power they possess, uh the GM can allow them to make a combined force power check. The difficulty of the check is at the GM's discretion based on the task attempted, it should generally be at least average. Uh likewise the GM decides how many force pips uh the check must generate to achieve the player-stated effect. Uh there is also the problem, you don't have any destiny points, so you can't use the light side. Um so for existing powers, like uh like an illusion, um, that would be at least hard difficulty.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Never mind. Maybe maybe we leave this to Chris. Chris is the most powerful charmer.

SPEAKER_03

I'll tell you what, if you want to try to charm her, uh I'll give you a destiny point, and then if that doesn't work, maybe you can try your force solution.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_07

Guys, Chris is the most charming dude alive. Remember how he charmed Zinn originally by telling her that he was thinking of starting a podcast? I'm never I'm gonna die remembering that. I'm gonna be on my deathbed. An adult, my adult child is gonna be leaning over me, being like, Mother, I love you, and I'll be like, Do you remember when Chrissunt just seared into my brain? Chris Aunt is, if anyone's capable of charming his way out of this, I think he can do it.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Alright, let's uh let's do this.

SPEAKER_07

That's all to say I believe in you, Chris. Thank you, friend. I appreciate it. I appreciate you. Go charm that lady. Go charm the pants back onto her.

SPEAKER_04

Or back onto her with the belt and the chastity.

SPEAKER_07

We gotta stir to Starzan.

SPEAKER_04

Hey, Starzan, can we borrow your chastity belt?

SPEAKER_07

Starzan, can you pick up this problem for me?

SPEAKER_03

Keep me out of the- Keep Starzan out of this. Okay, so uh you wanna charm her? Uh I wanna ch Yes. Okay, so you can you can leave uh the ship and her eyes light up uh with the fire of a thousand suns when she sees her.

SPEAKER_04

I want I want to inspire her to become the best person that she can be. Which may come back to bite us in the ass because she might start a uh a f a brigade or something like that, but let's see what happens.

SPEAKER_03

So you don't you don't want to uh make her hate you, you want to free her from you?

SPEAKER_04

I want to free her from me, correct. Okay.

SPEAKER_05

You're too good for me.

SPEAKER_03

Uh yes. Okay, so I'm gonna give you a destiny point so you can use your your force uh if this doesn't work. Um she is obviously obsessed with you, so that's gonna add two blacks. So that will be a charm against two reds, a purple, and two blacks. Take away one or two of those blacks, just one.

SPEAKER_05

And a scumbag. But you're my scumbag.

SPEAKER_04

I'm a real piece of shit.

SPEAKER_07

Um I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me?

SPEAKER_05

No, don't do that.

SPEAKER_04

Oh no, different lyrics, hang on. One success. Two advantages.

SPEAKER_07

That's all you need, baby. That's enough. So what do you what do you say to her then?

SPEAKER_04

Um, what was her name again?

SPEAKER_07

That's I mean, maybe that's all you need to say. Just like, what was your name again?

SPEAKER_05

Open open fat.

SPEAKER_04

Hello, hello, um Mandy? Yes, yes, yes, of course. Listen, I'm I don't want to lie to you. Ever since we've been together, I feel like you are just destined for bigger things than what I can bring you. I am somebody who is holding you back. I'm a sexual being. I want to share my sexuality with with everybody, and that's just who I am. That's just what I do. I cannot just be with you, but you could find somebody better than me. That's kind of a backhand compliment. Um a little bit. Um, I I just want to say I am I don't expect you to forgive me for uh doing this, but I will say that uh you can write about me and your daughter and how much of a piece of shit I am. It's okay. Uh I am not worth it for you.

SPEAKER_03

And you're you're giving this monologue, and she's like, Chris, I know you're saying all that to try and drive me away, and I know you live a dangerous lifestyle, but you can't. That's not gonna drive me away. I know I know what kind of person you are. I know that thing that's bulging by your pants. I like danger. It's okay. You won't be able to drive me away with that. I can handle it, I can handle big danger. And then the door, as you're talking, and as she's replying to you, the door to the crashed ship opens. And Maul comes out and he's like watching this, and she like notices past you, and she's she kind of says, I can handle big danger. Who is that?

SPEAKER_05

Look, lady, I get it. Remember Figwit? This is Budwit.

SPEAKER_04

That was more the advantage working in my favor than the actual success.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, look, that's excellent.

SPEAKER_03

And she goes over, she goes over to Maul and uh she she kind of like looks him up and down, looking at his lack of a package. And she sa and she's taller than he is, because he's just a little guy. Uh so she like gets down on one knee and she says, Bad boy, I will do whatever you ask. And he says, Then perish. And he just cuts her down with his lightsaber.

SPEAKER_08

What? Aw man, you could have had a perfectly good lackey.

SPEAKER_03

I have no need for scraps. Oh you know what?

SPEAKER_07

Uh look, she was an Imperial person. She was with the Empire. It wasn't safe to keep her around.

SPEAKER_04

Uh honestly, this was unfortunately for the best, but uh uh may she may she rest in pieces.

SPEAKER_07

And we didn't technically kill her, so uh so anyways, let's go help uh uh help the start let's go help the Sith Lord that we're With. Uh, hey, uh, Maul, how ya been?

SPEAKER_03

You said you had a delivery for me.

SPEAKER_07

Uh, we do. You uh you're trying to amass uh power in the underworld. How does a hut crime lord sound to you?

SPEAKER_03

I could be amenable to taking one off your hands. Your communication mentioned that you had many prisoners in your carbonite cells.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, we're just trying to sort out uh what to do with all of them. There's a couple that are, you know, personal personal interest to us. There's a whole bunch that are just r regular old civilians that we just need to um find somewhere safe to offload, some sort of, I don't know, nature preserve, who knows? Not a nature- not literally, but you know, just like a safe-a safe planet that's not Corusant. Maybe dump them on Alderon or something.

SPEAKER_03

Whatever you decide to do, I have no interest in taking these undesirables into my safe harbor, if such is. I don't want you getting any ideas that I might be willing to keep an eye on these people for you.

SPEAKER_07

Oh no, we only brought it by because, like, we really don't want that crime, Lord, here, and we haven't really if we could, you know, take a little bit of time here just to uh do an inventory of who we actually have and see if there's any others that you might be uh that might be of more use to you than they are to us.

SPEAKER_03

These are ISB prisoners?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I could probably find a use for many of them.

SPEAKER_07

Uh you know, like not the not just the regular civilians that got locked up just for knowing us, but you know, like, you know, the the people who allied with the huts of the other crime syndicates, like, you know, maybe that would help you.

SPEAKER_03

Some killers to assist me. They would owe me a great deal. As would you.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, we owe we already owe you a great deal. Yes, that's true.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, we uh we have a mutually beneficial agreement, mutually beneficial relationship, don't we?

SPEAKER_03

In a way, there is still some inventory work to be done to determine which of these prisoners may actually be helpful to our goals. And if you would like to further our relationship, perhaps you would be willing to do something for me.

SPEAKER_07

Uh what uh anything you have in mind? Uh just like uh, you know, stand in Oya favor in the future.

SPEAKER_03

No, something imminent.

SPEAKER_07

We we love imminent things. What are you thinking?

SPEAKER_03

Are you familiar with the Crimora Syndicate?

SPEAKER_07

Would we be?

SPEAKER_03

Uh, roll me a knowledge underworld, two purple.

SPEAKER_07

Knowledge underworld.

SPEAKER_04

How much knowledge is in my underworld? There we go.

SPEAKER_05

Three success, one advantage.

SPEAKER_04

One success.

SPEAKER_07

Ah, one failure, one advantage. One success?

SPEAKER_03

Damn, I'm the only one who failed. Kala doesn't know you got that advantage, but you're so you're like Crimora. More crime? Do they do more crime than other syndicates?

SPEAKER_07

Man, that's crazy given I haven't heard of them.

SPEAKER_03

Uh but Starzan, Illyria, Chris, you've all kind of heard of the Crimora Syndicate in your travels. They are one of the big five. Uh, the big five, of course, being Black Sun, Crimson Dawn, the Pikes, the Huts, and Crimora. Crimora is um kind of, you guys know that they're kind of a uh conglomeration, I guess, of smaller like syndicates. So it's like the ones who weren't really big enough to make it on their own, a bunch of them banded together to form the Crimora Syndicate.

SPEAKER_07

So you know they have the most criminals.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, they have the most criminals. So you know, like some of them are affiliated with other crime syndicates, like there are a few huts in there and there's a few other people, and it's kind of they act as almost a uh like a like a mediator for a lot of the other syndicates a lot of the time, where it's like because they have so many affiliations to so many groups, uh, if say Black Sun has beef with Crimson Dawn, uh, they can still work out a deal through the Crimora Syndicate.

SPEAKER_07

Okay. So they're like kind of a safe go-between.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So you know, you know a little bit about them.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Um, and Maul says the Crimora Syndicate would be very useful to have under my control. So I have a task for you, if you would accept it.

SPEAKER_04

Uh we uh we can uh if you are Z Taskmaster, so we must take your task.

SPEAKER_07

Well, no, we don't have to, but you know, like if in exchange we can uh stay on your planet for a little bit just to take inventory of all our people, maybe get a couple of uh urgent ones thought out, then sure, Maul, we can help you out with that.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, of course, the rent is due, as it were.

SPEAKER_07

I don't know what to mean by that.

SPEAKER_03

What's the group called again? The Crimora Syndicate.

SPEAKER_04

Crimora Syndicate. It's literally spelled crime.

SPEAKER_03

More like Mora Crime Syndicate.

SPEAKER_07

But uh what what was the job you had in mind, Maul?

SPEAKER_03

Their leader is a man named Farul, uh, an accountant and information broker who uses information to keep his underlings in order. If I am to take control of this syndicate, I do not want Farul dead, but I want him vulnerable. With his position, he has surrounded himself with powerful assassins and bodyguards, and these people need to be taken out so that I can impress upon him how much he would have to gain by letting me take their place instead.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, so just like uh assassination job then, basically, but you know, for the the gods instead of the guy.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, Farul must remain alive. His job is not one that I envy. I do not deal in spreadsheets.

SPEAKER_07

Uh, me neither, brother.

SPEAKER_04

Um You You deal in being badass, am I right? Yeah. My ass was taken from me by Kenobi.

SPEAKER_01

That must be really badass.

SPEAKER_04

The only one can the only one Kenobi I have heard of him. Let's continue.

SPEAKER_07

We were in Jedi school, dude. Man, I should probably seek that guy out at some point. Not right now, though. But uh, not right now. But you got names, uh locations for any of the uh these gods? I or they do they just kind of all hang about 'em.

SPEAKER_03

They can all be found at his compound on the moon of Onderon, the Beast Moon. Farul himself is of Onduron, and he has taken to hiding out in the jungles of its moon. Given his location, I would suspect that his bodyguards would be made up of the most skilled beast rider clans, and potentially Mandalorians seeking to reclaim the ancient land of their clan.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, okay. Uh, is do we know anything about the beast moon of Onderon? Like, is that easy to get to? Is it like restricted or anything?

SPEAKER_03

Uh knowledge. That'd be probably a knowledge.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, what kind of knowledge?

SPEAKER_03

Uh Onderon is in a rim, so probably knowledge core worlds.

SPEAKER_07

What kind?

SPEAKER_03

So, I would say probably two purple and a black.

SPEAKER_05

One success! I'm getting so excited with the mention of beasts. Don't you know?

SPEAKER_07

Oh, you have to. Oh my god, you have your call. You have the call!

SPEAKER_04

One success, two threats.

SPEAKER_07

I got nothing all cancelled.

SPEAKER_04

I like to roll anyway, just to make myself feel dumb. One success, four threat.

SPEAKER_06

God damn, why does everyone keep succeeding but me? Some Barrison. He hurt his brain. How dare you?

SPEAKER_03

So, Chris and Starzan, uh, your knowledge isn't really up to date. So, um, all you know is kind of like historical stuff about Onderon. Um, Illyria, your knowledge is a little bit more up to date, but not super recent. So, you know that Onderon um is a planet that has been very independent uh throughout its history. And during the war, it kind of officially joined the Republic after uh having to drive off uh the separatists. But that the deal with Onderon and its moon is that uh during certain orbital periods, its moon gets close enough to the planet that they share an atmosphere. So like you can basically just like take a speeder from one to the next, but that also means that it's very easy for the dangerous beasts of the moon to get to Onderon, and vice versa. So passage to the moon ducks is usually uh pretty restricted, like usually only the people who have proven themselves. Uh there are certain beast trials that sometimes the clans have to go through in order to earn passage. If there's a crime lord there, maybe he's got a way on and off the planet without uh being suspicious. But if he is a crime lord who's from Onderon, maybe he's allowed to be there.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, if we have to sneak on, we do have the crow. Yeah. The clandestine crow. Do we just want to try to fly down to Onderon in the in the crow and see if we can just get on that way? It's designed specifically to avoid being detected. Let's do it. Okay. But first, uh, let's maybe thaw out Zinn and uh look over all the people here.

SPEAKER_03

In order to thaw her out safely, uh, so carbonite freezing is um it's been around for a long time before hyperspace uh was commonplace, before hyperdrives were kind of uh widely used. Uh some enterprising travelers did use carbonite as a cheap way to put themselves into stasis during long voyages. The equipment also depends on how uh good the freezing is. An industrial Tabana gas mine that uses uh carbonite freezing technology to freeze uh Tabana gas for transport. Probably wouldn't be too concerned about the side effects. But this is also an imperial prison where they may need to thaw people out periodically for interrogation, so they'd probably have better uh tech than the rest of the mine. And Zin also wouldn't have been frozen for that long.

SPEAKER_05

Can I try and calibrate the computer?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so it would be either a medicine or a computer's medicine, baby. Please save my girl. So to to bring her out, uh, that's gonna be a I'll give you another destiny point. A red and a purple medicine.

SPEAKER_05

Five success, one triumph.

SPEAKER_03

Oh nice. Look at you go. So you can find settings. Uh usually, like the way to do it is to bring someone out slowly. But because you got this five success, you can find settings. She hasn't been in there for that long, that can bring her out very quickly and also have no undue effects. Like she doesn't have any temporary blindness, she she's not like uh weirdly wet. Like there's nothing going on.

SPEAKER_07

Like Zin wakes up and she just like continues the convert, like the what she was yelling at the guards when she got frozen, like there's no time has passed.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so it's like if the the freeze the unfreezing begins to happen and you hear stupid fucking imps and then punches my face. Ah uh Zinn, Zinn, are you okay? Are you okay? What w where the fuck are we? Chris? Are you here? Did you Where's the Imperials? They they uh put me in a black bag and they took me somewhere.

SPEAKER_04

They froze you, but then we unfroze you. Um sorry uh that I couldn't get uh sooner, but uh unfortunately I was a little bit uh tied up.

SPEAKER_03

Well, that's okay. How long has it been? You don't look like you've aged too much, so I hope it hasn't been decades. Oh wait, and she and she sees Kala and she says, the years have not been kind.

SPEAKER_07

It's great to see you too. We went to through a lot to get you out of there, and now you're waking up to do some insults.

SPEAKER_03

It's been like a few weeks. Oh, sorry, I did not know. I I just maybe I haven't seen you in in a little while.

SPEAKER_04

Zin the insult comic is uh my new favorite character. I get no respect.

SPEAKER_07

Which we I'm not gonna say mean-spirited things.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, though, I think when they raided my apartment it was because you had gone rogue or something? Are you still with the Imperial Knights? Well, it's a whole story.

SPEAKER_07

No. I mean, yes, it's a whole story, but that is the answer. No, we are not still with the Imperial Knights. Oh, well Which is why you got picked up in the first place.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, we uh uh had a bit of a change of plans, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_03

So I'm guessing that I can't go back to my job in the Senate then.

SPEAKER_07

No, but we do have a new base where you know.

SPEAKER_03

It's in a junk pile.

SPEAKER_07

No, no, this is this is Mars Planet. You were here with us. You remember this.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I don't know where you're hanging your hats these days.

SPEAKER_07

Well, not here. We just stopped here, so we had a safe place to check over everyone that we absconded with. And to unthaw you because you were kind of top priority. I can't gesture at Chris, like between like he made it a top priority for us, Zen, if you done insulting me.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, I I really wanted to make sure I listen. Uh I think you would be nice. I'll I'll let you do that first if you want.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I I would I would thank you for making me a top priority, though I don't know how much of a priority I was, Chris, given that you stink like sweat and glitter stem.

SPEAKER_04

Uh yeah, but uh about Zadza, there was a many uh many, many adventures on uh uh on the way to you, but uh everything that we did was just a thing to make us one step c uh one step closer to you, so uh uh welcome back.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I am happy to not be in there anymore.

SPEAKER_04

I'm happy for you to not be in there anymore, either. Did you uh want something to eat? Because, you know, you've been out for a while. Did you need to go take a shit?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I haven't eaten in weeks. Yes, I'm very hungry. Do you have food?

SPEAKER_07

Ma would have to have food. He still is half he's still half meat.

SPEAKER_03

Well, do you do you have any like supplies on your ship?

SPEAKER_07

Oh yeah, we we would on the crow, right?

SPEAKER_03

I mean also uh the hasty harpy was literally delivering like hundreds and hundreds of ration packs to the base that I don't think they ever got delivered.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Yes, but we have we have rations, and we'll uh wanna come sit down, have a have a blanket, have a snack.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, I'm going to uh pig out, I think. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Being being frozen makes you really hungry.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. And while Zen's doing that, can we uh review uh review these canisters, see if there's anyone else who would be meaningful to Maul besides Jewel?

SPEAKER_03

Uh yeah, why don't you roll me a Knowledge Underworld? So you can take your time. It would just be a two purple, probably. But if you want to increase the difficulty, you might recognize some more, some deeper cuts.

SPEAKER_07

Man, I I've failed every knowledge check we've done. I think I'll just leave it how it is.

SPEAKER_05

Free advantage.

SPEAKER_04

Two success, three threat.

SPEAKER_07

I got one success, one threat.

SPEAKER_04

Uh, roll one threat.

SPEAKER_07

Ooh, am I the only one who succeeded that time? That's me. Ah, dang.

SPEAKER_03

Because you all got threat, there's probably some names on there that you don't recognize that would be beneficial. Um, but you're just not seeing them, you're just not aware. Uh, those of you who got success, you can see that so the canisters you took are kind of the two most recent ones. The one that had all of the people who were arrested because of you, probably pretty recently, and the ones who had people who were arrested during the war. So you can see that there are um a lot of names that you may not know them particularly, but you can like identify that they're names that seem like they might be Namoite and they might be, you know, munes. There uh there seem to be a lot of separatist allied people in there, people who would ever who would have a reason to hate the Empire, but not necessarily people who would be great to have as your allies. There are a few other high-ranking separatist commanders. Severance tan was just one of several. Uh, none that stick out to you as like, hey, this person was a Jedi. There are also potentially a few more people whose names sound like, is that a Jedi name? You like you can bring them up, you can see that there are a number of people who have the M plus prefix on their file that may be Jedi, but you don't know who they are, just that they have been flagged as being force sensitive.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, because like we should maybe like take anyone who's force sensitive, take them back to uh our base in case they're Jedi, and then they can all bask in the power of the powerful virgin in the basement, not Illyria. And like, would would Maul want the Seputists? I mean, I guess we could ask him. Sepotists? Separatists. Sorry, I was kinda shocking on my.

SPEAKER_04

I had septists once.

SPEAKER_07

Seppetists!

SPEAKER_04

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_07

Sorry, I had a kind of crap in my throat there.

SPEAKER_05

Was the Ginch wait, fuck.

SPEAKER_07

Ginch. I mean in underpants these days. Okay, goddamn. Cause I know I said before, like, oh, maybe we take people to Alderon, but it's like for the for the people who are just civilians, like, I know that Bale Organa would not be happy to see us, but like, he might be open to sheltering innocent people who have just been caught up in um bad shit. He maybe. With the exception of Severance. Like, for the separatists, do we want to maybe check with Maul and see if he would be interested in any of them? Because, like, I feel like we can't really take uh separatists to Alderon if we want to see if Bale Organa will shelter the the civilians, and we d I don't really want to take them back to our base, you know? How does everyone feel about that?

SPEAKER_04

J genuinely uh it feels like an army sound uh like if we had separate armies that were able to go to different uh different places, that might be a good place to be.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. I mean like like we can we just ask Maul, hey Mal, you want these separatists?

SPEAKER_03

Mao.

SPEAKER_07

Mao, hey Mal!

SPEAKER_03

Diggy Mao. I have no need for failed commanders. You gotta you gotta lighten up, buddy.

SPEAKER_07

Do you have any need for the others?

SPEAKER_03

There are some names in there that seem promising.

SPEAKER_07

Uh, I mean the the the M pluses were taken with us, if those were the ones you were eyeballing.

SPEAKER_03

All of them?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, I think all of them. Why? Which one were you looking at?

SPEAKER_03

And he points to one, it's a name that you had kind of bypassed in your threat that didn't really seem uh notable. Uh it does have an M plus designation. It's a being called Talkie Tolivar.

SPEAKER_07

Talkie Tolivar.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Now that he's pointed it out, could we roll a knowledge for that?

SPEAKER_03

Well, I don't think you missed it, so I don't think you would know. But like looking at it, the prisoner number is a lot lower than most of the other prisoners. So like an early capture. Yeah, who it's someone who had like been put in and then like put in taken out and put in again more recently.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, okay. So maybe not like someone who was specifically captured during the war, like someone who might have been in captivity even longer.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Oh. What uh what do you th what do you think feeling for that one?

SPEAKER_03

I've heard stories of Talky Tolivar, but I thought that he had died out thousands of years ago.

SPEAKER_07

Thousands? Yes. But what ca what kind of person is he? I mean, I guess if he's been trapped for a thousand years.

SPEAKER_03

Well, he was known in his day as the Corellian Strangler.

SPEAKER_07

Woo- The what?

SPEAKER_08

You want the Corellian Stran? It's just like Jack the Ripper? Space Jack the Ripper?

SPEAKER_03

He is a BIM. Like a the other kind of bim. Oh no.

SPEAKER_07

Wait, no wait! Were the BIMs the one that that strangling robot wouldn't stop strangling? The little ones.

SPEAKER_03

I think they're they might have been different.

SPEAKER_07

Okay. What okay, what a Oh right, no, because the bims of Bimis were the ones in the the uh Healing Waters planet, but no, the other bims?

SPEAKER_03

Well, there's two bims so there's bims of bimassauri and there's the bims of bimus, and the bims, like the bims refer to two so there's colonists and then there's the native species of bimassari. The native species is like a little furry uh creature, and they like there were like colonists who were more like humans who are also called bims but are generally pretty short in stature. Oh so this he's like one of the fuzzy bims. You can see him like on his carbonite slab. He is like a little like fuzzy creature. Like he's got these like long fuzzy ears and this little almost like like a cat or dog face. It looks very really. He looks like a serial mascot.

SPEAKER_07

He looks kind of cute. This is the strangler of Corsant?

SPEAKER_03

The Corellian strangler.

SPEAKER_07

Uh sorry, the Corel oh sorry. The strangler part was kind of the bit I was more stuck on, Maul.

SPEAKER_03

The Corellian A Sith acolyte in ancient times who became a force strangling serial killer. And as I seem to have remembered reading, he was eventually captured, and I thought he had died out, but this data pad suggests that he was interesting, utilized by the Republic as a sort of secret weapon.

SPEAKER_07

Oh which would explain why he was thawed and put back.

SPEAKER_04

Ooh You said forestra uh forest strangling. Does that mean he strangling?

SPEAKER_07

He forces you to strangle yourself.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, that is what he did.

SPEAKER_07

Strangling just holds you at gunpointers like putting it.

SPEAKER_06

Choke me harder, Daddy.

SPEAKER_03

Boltani's like, stop strangling yourself, stop strangling yourself. It is unlikely that Tolivar is the only one of these individuals that the Empire has been utilizing. They may have many of these special agents that they used to their advantage, especially if they were thought to be dead.

SPEAKER_07

Ooh, I don't know if we want to be br I accidentally bringing stranglers back to our base.

SPEAKER_03

I mean just a bunch they got a bunch of winter soldiers in there, it seems though.

SPEAKER_04

Some of them are smotherers, I'll have you know. Yeah. Do do they have a manual uh uh that tells us what they need to say in order to actually go?

SPEAKER_03

I don't think there would be a manual. That probably would have been in the computer that you left behind.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, I know I talked about using uh the things that were outside your forestry. What if I use the sense power to sense uh evil uh people with evil in their hearts around us, and I could pick out which ones had dark side intentions.

SPEAKER_03

Well, here's the thing. I I feel like you're gonna get Maul and he's gonna be uh he he might be influencing things a little bit. He might be too loud.

SPEAKER_07

Uh, yeah, that's true. It's just like the uh the evil alarms are blaring all around as just him standing there quietly. Uh just this one though? This one and and j in Queen Jewel?

SPEAKER_03

Well, this was the first I noticed, but there are likely others, especially if the Republic was utilizing them during the war. This entire canister may be filled with these special agents. If we had a way to control them, they could be quite useful.

SPEAKER_04

Charlie Kilo. Charlie Kilo Kilo. Yeah, I got it.

SPEAKER_07

If we let him look at them, uh is he just gonna be like, these are all evil, you should give them all to me.

SPEAKER_03

Uh yeah, would that be against like his cool or I don't know.

SPEAKER_07

I guess deception or deception, I guess, yeah. Or maybe his charm if he's just trying to uh persuade us to let him take a look without giving him any.

SPEAKER_03

That'll be against three reds and a purple.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, can I can I have committed a force pip so I can upgrade the ability of vigilance and perception checks?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, that gives me four four yellow. Sorry, you said four red and a purple?

SPEAKER_03

Uh three red and a purple.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, three red and a purple. So technically, I'm it's in my favor. And I add a blue. Oh, one success with triumph.

SPEAKER_04

Oh that's I mean, that's I'll let you have that.

SPEAKER_03

So he absolutely wants like to turn these guys into his uh special little friends. But it seems that like he is also on the lookout for like you get on the one the one hand, he definitely wants to an army of winter soldiers that he can just use and program to go on assassination missions for him. But the fact that he's like looking at Tolivar and other and looking for other ones that are he's kind of paying closer attention to, it also seems like he's in the market for an apprentice. So he's specifically looking for someone who he can pass his knowledge on to.

SPEAKER_04

Who wants to be his apprentice?

SPEAKER_07

Apparently this fuzzy. Because it's like, I I don't I don't think we necessarily want Maul having uh an army of winter soldiers. But if it were like as a show of, you know, hey, we're still we're still allied, giving him this one.

SPEAKER_03

Well, because the thing is, like, you don't know how to control them. So that inform he wouldn't be able to do anything with them until he got that information.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. So we'd have to be keeping them in stasis, the ones that we're unsure of.

SPEAKER_03

Like you might, uh, if you give them to him and the next time you see him, you he might have unthawed one. It might not be Tolivar, it might be somebody else.

SPEAKER_07

I uh I don't know. What do you guys think?

SPEAKER_04

Um here's the thing. We're gonna have to be like, if not by this season, I feel like we're gonna be have to be or we're gonna have to be dealing with him next season anyway.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, don't give him fucking soldiers. Yeah, no. Sorry.

SPEAKER_04

But we but we do I don't know this in universe.

SPEAKER_03

But we do need this. Like, you I think in in character you guys would definitely expect that he is probably gonna betray you at some point, but right now he is focusing his energies on dethroning Palpatine. Palpatine is the enemy you have in common.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, what do you guys think?

SPEAKER_03

I'm curious.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, because I'm like one apprentice. Maybe give him the Tolivar one that we know of, Tolivar and Queen Jewel, and then be like, yeah, you know, if there's any others that we think would be good, we'll send them to you. We definitely will. Sure, buddy, sure we will.

SPEAKER_03

We got some good ones. You seem nervous about my taking of these assassins. Nervous? That is understandable. I would use them if I knew how, but I do not yet. No one tell him. If you wish to give me the hut and one of these assassins for now, that would be acceptable.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, sure, and you know, like if we have any other.

SPEAKER_03

I would ask that I have the time to assess to determine which of these people would best suit my needs. When you return from Onderon, I will have chosen.

SPEAKER_05

Okay. Because when we But you can't unthaw them until we have final approval.

SPEAKER_03

Are you sure?

SPEAKER_07

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

And what is to stop me?

SPEAKER_07

Uh, a mutual interest in maintain an allyship. It's a request, Maul. Please do not thaw them until we come back to do final approval.

SPEAKER_03

Very well. I will do you this favor, but I expect my mission to be done with the utmost efficiency.

SPEAKER_07

Of course it will be, of course it will be. Don't even worry, honey. But sorry, not like that.

SPEAKER_04

Bubby.

SPEAKER_07

You know, it's like how all waitresses in New Jersey call everyone hun. It's like, you know, I'm just tapping into that.

SPEAKER_04

You're a Jersey waitress.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. But uh, yeah, do we just want to leave leave these here, I guess, so he can look it over and we go do the mission in the meantime? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, shall we uh go to Onderon?

SPEAKER_03

So, uh, do you want to try and get to Duxon specifically or just Onderon space in general?

SPEAKER_07

Maybe maybe just to Onderon in general, so we can kind of assess what the security around the planet's looking like, and then like fly in stealthy like.

SPEAKER_03

So that would probably be Onderon is uh not not really out of the way. It is a planet that comes up uh fair fairly frequently. It's in the inner rim. So probably it would be a I'll give you a t give you another destiny point, actually. Uh we'll call it a red and a purple. That'd be astrogation? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Five success, one triumph, one threat.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, nice. Okay, so the threat you can kind of counteract with the triumph because as you're plotting a course and as you're traveling there, you can make a really good course, and before it affects you, you can bring up all the most recent data on the planet. So before you get there, you already know that it is under Imperial Occupation. And because you got that triumph, you also know that the occupation is being uh overseen by an Imperial Knight.

SPEAKER_07

Ooh, which one? Anyone we know?

SPEAKER_03

Since it's a triumph, you can decide whether or not you've heard of this guy. His name is Dev Kavar, and he is an older, kind of a distinguished hu he was a distinguished human Jedi knight. He's got like this full beard, slightly graying hair. And if you ever had heard of him, and maybe it's in the data about Onderon, is that because he has supposedly ties to the ancient royal families of Onderon, that is why he was chosen to oversee this.

SPEAKER_08

Oh.

SPEAKER_03

So he's like a like a hometown boy or a a hometown uh adult man.

SPEAKER_07

A hometown fascist. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

But he's he's probably like 20 to 30 years older than you guys.

SPEAKER_07

Okay. Do we do we have an idea of like, is he on the because we need to get to the moon, but like, is he on the planet Alderon? Would he like be in a ship in orbit? Or is there like a big blockade set up?

SPEAKER_03

So the information you can find is that there are a couple of Star Destroyers that have been sent to Onderon for the occupation. So Dev might be on one of those Star Destroyers, he might be on the planet. Like, you wouldn't know you'd get some threat, you wouldn't know that specific. All you would know is kind of the public-facing details.

SPEAKER_07

Okay. I mean, we got on to Coruscant with the crow. I'm sure that we can get past, you know, just a a couple a couple Imperial Star Destroyers. Uh, we'll be fine.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Just fly in nice and nice and stealthy and careful-like.

SPEAKER_04

I I I we can do this. We can do this.

SPEAKER_07

Nice and stealthy and careful-like. We'll be fine.

SPEAKER_04

Genuinely, we have had the best people keep tell telling us how good we as a collective are at rolling.

SPEAKER_07

God, people won't stop talking about how good our rolls are.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god. It's a s it's its own subreddit.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, except except for uh Amy over there. They'd keep it like, man, she's not doing no she all those all those despairs. I I I feel like you're the only one who's like consistently rolling good these days. Rolling good. You've been rolling really good.

SPEAKER_05

Check all these freaking triumphs, baby. Get a load of this. Get a load of my triumphs.

SPEAKER_07

What would it be uh for piloting to uh fly us in stealthily?

SPEAKER_03

So this would probably be against uh the sensors of the Star Destroyers and anybody else uh who would be manning those equipment. Because we have the pseudo-cloaking device. So this is gonna be against uh just a r- a random sort of officer that's monitoring things. Probably probably at this point if it if they're overseeing uh a blockade, it might be one of the uh the senior officers. Uh so this would be against a two red and a purple.

SPEAKER_07

Uh I got two. Wait, no, I only have one yellow three. Why did I add two?

SPEAKER_03

And any any bonuses from your ship?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, how does that how does a pseudo-cloaky device work? Increase difficulty at checks to detect the ships with sensors by two. So could I like downgrade?

SPEAKER_03

Do you want me to roll his then?

SPEAKER_07

Sure, because otherwise I don't know if that will really come into play. Would it just be like against my piloting?

SPEAKER_03

Uh yeah, we can say it's against your piloting.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, because that would be a red and three purple.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Altogether.

SPEAKER_07

Well, don't make it sound like that. Makes us sound like it's not very good.

SPEAKER_03

Well, no, I mean like with your is that with the like the all of your ship's upgrades?

SPEAKER_07

Increase difficulty, yeah. So add two purples. So a red and five purple.

SPEAKER_03

Holy shit. Uh no, he doesn't fucking see you. Two failures, two threats, and a despair.

SPEAKER_07

Uh hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03

As a random comm officer uh remembers that his wife is leaving him for being a fascist, so he pulls a the blaster out of the holster in his hip and kills himself in his desk. Well, also the name's well, right?

SPEAKER_08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

As a walker in the back.

SPEAKER_04

People keep dying not of our hand, and it is very weird.

SPEAKER_07

Man, that's the power of being on the light side, man. People die when they need to, you just don't have to do it.

SPEAKER_04

Real heroes make other people kill themselves.

SPEAKER_05

Like a mass effect.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god, you're right. You can bypass the Imperial sensors and head towards the moon duckson. So your uh ship is designed to uh hide from electronic sensors, right? I believe so. I believe we did get some sneaky stuff on it.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, because we just have the the black coating for visuals. It was gonna be like visual sensors, but it's like, you mean eyes?

SPEAKER_03

What's how many ranks in stealth do you have, Kala?

SPEAKER_07

Ooh, like me as a person?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because that would um that would influence like how you're probably flying the ship.

SPEAKER_07

Ooh, just one. I I have a yellow three green to stealth.

SPEAKER_03

Uh, so although you can bypass the Imperial sensors, uh, there are some animals that start following you.

SPEAKER_07

Believe me, do you wanna you wanna hang out the hatch and do a beast call to uh scare them away?

SPEAKER_05

Wait, are we on a planet or are we?

SPEAKER_07

Cause if we if we sat down, could you use your beast call to like scare them off?

SPEAKER_05

Possibly. It's meant to lure beasts out of hiding, but like it's influence of beasts, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Until they build a bigger beast.

SPEAKER_07

Do you like the call of a predator? The call of a predator.

SPEAKER_04

The call of a predator.

SPEAKER_07

Because like if you if you did a beast call for like the larger predator that might spook them away, then it does also run the risk of attracting that larger predator.

SPEAKER_05

Can I make Yeah, I'm gonna land. And sit down and I'll beast call.

SPEAKER_03

So you can land, uh, finding a slightly clearer section of the brush to land in. And you can see these things uh flying overhead doing sort of doing the rounds above your ship.

SPEAKER_05

Are they bugging us at all? Do we need to worry about these guys?

SPEAKER_07

Are they just circling the ship?

SPEAKER_03

They're circling the ship.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, they're just animals though. Like, unless they have like unless they're trained, unless they have cameras strapped to their tummies. Do they have camera helmets?

SPEAKER_03

Uh, there'd be perception to see if they have camera helmets. Okay. Uh they're pretty far away, they're up in the sky. Um, so that'll probably be a three purple and a black perception.

SPEAKER_07

Look, I'm rolling it. I still had that committed. I'm rolling with an extra rank. Three purple and a black? Yeah. I can remove a black. Get out of here, two success, six advantage. They've do they have camera helmets?

SPEAKER_03

They don't have camera helmets. Uh they have riders.

SPEAKER_07

Ooh! Ooh. Should we stay close to the ship and see if they're gonna attack or set down and see if we are gonna have to defend ourselves?

SPEAKER_05

Because I feel like if I tried to use a beast call when they're trained, they would not be fitted.

SPEAKER_07

They wouldn't respond. Like, d does this ship have like a top hatch?

SPEAKER_03

Uh yeah, one big enough for a uh Lando Calrysian style G.I. Joe to pop out of.

SPEAKER_07

Like, is a G.I. Joe to scale?

SPEAKER_03

It's the size of a Lando Calryzian. In the Empire Strikes Back, when Lando was coming under the top hatch to rescue Luke, they used a G.I. Joe. Uh so yes, you can you have a top hatch. Ah.

SPEAKER_07

Because I'm thinking, like, if if we could tell that it's like, no, they have riders, instead of exiting the ship, could Kala maybe crack that hatch a little bit and just like get my rifle ready and see what they do.

SPEAKER_04

Can Star Zen throw one of us up there?

SPEAKER_07

Oh my god, could you? Could ya?

SPEAKER_04

I can I can heave a hoe. That can happen. Can you Heave a Ho? I've been called Wiss.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, I could I could peek a a-a rifle out at the sky and take aim to see what they do.

SPEAKER_03

Fire a warning shot across their bow.

SPEAKER_05

So Why don't you go wave out of the ship, okay?

SPEAKER_03

So you're staying like the shin in the ship and pointing like the hatch out.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, and then if they if they do swoop down or if they do land, I can kind of climb up on the roof and have a vantage point.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_07

And already have the high ground.

SPEAKER_03

Uh interesting. Okay. Uh so they got two success and two threat on their perception. So one of these beasts does dive down and land on the ship, and it starts like trying to put its head into the hatch and like snap at you, but it's too big.

SPEAKER_07

Man, I was k can I can I see the rider atop the beast?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you can see the rider like glimpses as this beast, like, tries to get into this metal burrow to eat this this creature that's that's in there, this little delicious uh prey animal. And you can see the rider is a big, burly human man with like untamed hair, uh, hairy, oily, sweaty chest, wearing like little patches, little pieces of armor that seem to be made of like leather or beast hide.

SPEAKER_07

Based on that, would I know would it give me an idea of uh what his allegiances may be? Does it seem like he's with the Crymo or like he's just a local?

SPEAKER_03

I think uh you would know about the beast riders of Onderon.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So you you wouldn't know if he's in particular allied with the syndicate though.

SPEAKER_07

Ooh. Should I shoot the animal and certainly make him an enemy, or be like, do you know where Farul is? The thing can't get at me. Yeah, it's trying. It's trying. How loud is it?

SPEAKER_03

It's pretty loud. It's roaring and shrieking at you, it's hungry. He's directing it also to uh like get him, get him!

SPEAKER_07

Ooh. Hey Chris, do you have the influence power?

SPEAKER_04

Uh I do have No, I do not. Oh, I was gonna start getting the influence power. I can like I can do a mid-uh game level up with uh influence basic power.

SPEAKER_07

Because like if if you wanted to come up here and do we have any destiny points? Yeah. Cause if you wanted to influence this beast just to calm down and then can maybe try to talk to the beast rider on top, because like may maybe the beast riders don't like these Crymora people whole.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna try to influence this guy. Uh I only have the very first rank in uh influence now.

SPEAKER_03

So do you shout from like the hatch or do you like go out and try and stand under the ship, or how do you uh how do you talk to him?

SPEAKER_04

Maybe shout from Maybe I'll maybe I'll like shout from the hat. Is there does anybody have a microphone or a megaphone?

SPEAKER_07

If it's at the hatch, he's right there. The beast can't quite get at us.

SPEAKER_04

I influ I influence you to back away from this ship.

SPEAKER_03

That's what you shout. I influence you. Uh or just like calm down, gag. Yeah, so roll your force then.

SPEAKER_04

Uh two force die? Yeah. Let's see, roll. I got two light side and two dark side. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

So you can spend a destiny point. How many of those do you want points do you want to use one or two? What do you want to do with this? Probably both. Okay. Um, probably both, yeah. Yeah, so for the influence power, you can generate positive emotions. So what kind of you want to calm him down? Just impress friendliness?

SPEAKER_04

We we're all getting a little bit tired, we're all getting a little bit cozy, we're all getting a little bit sleepy, and when we wake up, we will be uh we we will be uh the uh the best of people, the best of friends.

SPEAKER_07

Gonna make its beast go to sleep.

SPEAKER_04

If we can.

SPEAKER_07

Why would simplify things?

SPEAKER_03

So you're using it on the beast?

SPEAKER_04

Let's do the beast, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

We're gonna do the beast. Yeah, so the so the beast starts getting sleepy and like it gets drowsy and it kind of curls up, and the rider says, You! What spell have you cast upon my steed?

SPEAKER_04

I yawned and then everybody else started yawning and then all of a sudden uh every all of a sudden everybody just started lay laying down a little bit.

SPEAKER_07

I uh Yeah, you know, man, I'm I'm feeling sleepy too, but like, hey, while your beast is uh while your beast is sleeping, though, like, hey, maybe we can chat.

SPEAKER_03

Chat? Are you some kind of sorcerer?

SPEAKER_07

Uh, would you like it if we were?

SPEAKER_04

Sorcerers are bad news. We can we can be a source of news. A sorcerer of news. We have killed all of our sorcerers. Oh no, that's not good.

SPEAKER_07

Uh oh, because Moll mentioned like the the bodyguards or any of Did he mention if they were force users or not?

SPEAKER_03

He said that like the bodyguards were potentially made up of beast riders and uh Mandalorians, since apparently there is some connection to Ducks and from the Mandalorians.

SPEAKER_07

So probably not. Probably they might all be allied. Or uh no, we're here to uh help Farul of the Crimora Syndicate. Are you uh one of his gods?

SPEAKER_03

You are here to help Farul.

SPEAKER_07

Uh, help him to die or live, whichever you like.

SPEAKER_03

He hops off his steed. And he says, I am Titus Kira, the predicus Maximus of the Kira clan of beast riders. And if you are here to harm the man who I serve and who is helping to save our planet from the scourge of the Empire, then have at you! And he jumps down into the hatch and pulls out his knife that seems to be made from the tooth of a giant beast.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, so this is one of the guys we gotta kill. Okay, that clears things up.

SPEAKER_04

You had letting me handle this guy. I like his style, but uh I won't wear his skin as a thing.

SPEAKER_07

So probably probably all his friends up top of the same thing. So you're so you're gonna do battle with the slab?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I'll pull out the starsaber. Harry, that's you filthy casual.

SPEAKER_03

So to see who's going to be able to attack first, were you prepared for him to jump down into your ship? Probably be a vigilance. For him it would be a cool. Uh so we'll just just kind of roll basic initiative then.

SPEAKER_04

Two success, one advantage.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, he got two success, two advantages.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, look at him go. Alright, try your worst. So Does he have six Silk? Is he Mormon? Is he Mormon than Man? Uh no, he's got five.

SPEAKER_07

Starzan has more Mormon power than him. More man.

SPEAKER_03

More Silk experience. More men than beasts now. So he is uh dressed in the beast armor of his people. Uh, leather, scaled hides, horned helmets. He's wearing like the skull of some uh eldritch thing on his head. So he does have a very terrifying presence. Like his face is all painted black. It's okay, it's a cultural thing, but his face is all painted black underneath his skull helmet, and he's just got like these pinpricks of like glowing eyes almost uh glinting out from the light. He is a pretty terrifying uh individual.

SPEAKER_04

So the face paint is less Soul Man and more Krippendorf's tribe. Oh no. It's a little bit less problematic. Just a little. Just a little bit less.

SPEAKER_03

But he is still a man. He's not like an undead creature or anything. Yeah, that's good to know. So he's gonna he's gonna try and come at you with his blade, which seems to be dripping with venom. Oh I have not even begun to come. Come at me, bro.

SPEAKER_07

Just spray you with venom.

SPEAKER_03

Uh so he gets two success and two advantages.

SPEAKER_07

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03

So he does he does seven points of wound to you before you're soaked, so that is enough to to uh to actually hit you, do damage to activate the poison.

SPEAKER_07

Why is the starzan flex so hard that it just shoots back out of you? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03

Give me a four purple resilience.

SPEAKER_04

Let's put a destiny on that thing.

SPEAKER_03

Uh two success, one threat, two dark side, four light side. So you're not staggered, uh, but you do take two strain from it. So he sticks you with this venomed toothed dagger, and you feel yourself uh having your your energy sapped.

SPEAKER_01

Oh dear.

SPEAKER_03

You can uh you can feel it. Uh as a as a man of the wilderness, you can you can tell that he has uh extracted this poison from the glandular toxin sack of the Shrillurian Dark Wolf.

SPEAKER_07

Does Pantstar get an attack too?

SPEAKER_03

You want to use a maneuver to direct Pantstar, you can, but you are essentially fighting in the hallways of the Millennium of Falcon, so there's not too many uh a lot of room there for him to.

SPEAKER_04

You can like hamstring him from behind.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you could you could take him from behind.

SPEAKER_07

Jump on his back and just roll bite at his neck.

SPEAKER_03

Do you want to uh call Panthstar to go first, and maybe that can provide an advantage to you?

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. So I'm gonna add two blacks because he is like grappling with you, he's engaged in you. He did he did stick you. Uh but he does get two success and two advantages. He does have knockdown, so he can just knock him down.

SPEAKER_04

Yay! Oh wait, Panthler can knock him down. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So he's knocked prone. Uh you can add a blue onto your attack if you want to get him. Uh he does have melee defense thanks to his armor. Uh, he does have adversary, so that's gonna be a red, a purple, and a black.

SPEAKER_07

Look, how armored could his neck possibly be?

SPEAKER_03

If you want to aim for the neck, you can add two more blacks.

SPEAKER_01

Hmm.

SPEAKER_03

Is it worth it?

SPEAKER_07

I don't know, Starzan. What's your what's your what's your dice pool looking like?

SPEAKER_04

Two yellow, three green.

SPEAKER_07

That's pretty good. Should be pretty good, actually.

SPEAKER_04

Add two more blacks? You can do two more blacks.

SPEAKER_07

Come on, Starzan, you can do it.

SPEAKER_04

I also like to live dangerously. Two success, one triumph!

SPEAKER_07

Just shear his head right off.

SPEAKER_04

Roll my hundred? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Forty-seven in a row. Head ringer, his head is ringing. It's still intact, but it's ringing.

SPEAKER_07

Is it clattering down the hallway making a ring sound of the mountain?

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_07

So he's dead. Okay, well if that one's taken care of, presumably the rest of the beast riders up there are also protecting this guy. So can Caliset just like whistle her way up that hash and try to take aim at run of the one of the riders?

SPEAKER_03

So here's the thing: this guy, big, burly, human, face painted in black, has a feature-obscuring skull helmet and uh beast hide armor.

SPEAKER_07

Oh we got stars and wanna do dress up?

SPEAKER_04

I could wear I thankfully I cut his head literally clean off when there's no blood.

SPEAKER_07

So You did use a lightsaber. It cauterized it.

SPEAKER_04

Could just wear his helmet, yeah. Steal his steal his look.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, just uh uh follow them back to the nest so we can see where they're all hold up.

SPEAKER_03

But I'd have to ride a beast, though. That'd be my favorite. You would. Do you have any abilities that allow you to form a bond with an animal? I didn't know it could be any animal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, it's Star saying Mr. Steel Ya Beast.

SPEAKER_04

Oh dear. Yeah, I could do that.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, because it's just the the the mount itself is just sleepy on the roof. It'll wake up from its nap and be like, oh, my papa's back. Anyways, let's go.

SPEAKER_04

Develop a long-term bond with a single animal or silhouette no greater than half your forest rating. Well, he's a silhouette too. When making a a check to handle or tame an animal, add uh forest power no grading to your forest rating to the check.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, yeah. So this would probably be um so your animal bond, that's probably already taken by Panthstar, but you still could do the animal empathy um to handle or tame this animal. Yeah. So tame him. You are already wearing, if you want to change into the uh beast rider's armor, you would have that scent on you. Uh good. So you wouldn't have any blacks, but it would be uh you would still have to tame this thing. What would this be? Uh so it is an unfamiliar creature, so this would be a survival. I give you a destiny point here in case it rejects you. It'll be a red and two purple.

SPEAKER_04

Can he add a blue because I uh put him to sleep so good?

SPEAKER_03

Uh yeah, he's gonna be waking up, he's gonna be groggy. So uh he may just accept you if you get on his back f fast enough, he may not notice.

SPEAKER_04

He may not notice. Can you can you take any of like um his a previous owner's smell?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, if he's wearing well, if he's wearing the armor.

SPEAKER_04

I'm realizing we're revenge of nerds of the nerds this poor. Oh no! Oh god damn, we're not- Oh no, don't say that! Don't say that!

SPEAKER_07

Don't say that! Why would you say that?

SPEAKER_04

Why would you say that?

SPEAKER_07

Why would you say that, Mike? Why would you say such a thing?

SPEAKER_04

A red, two purple, and a blue? Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

And you can add your add your force.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, okay. Well, I'm gonna roll my force separately then, because I got uh two success, uh three threat, one triumph. I'm just gonna unroll my force separately then. We are the ones who roll good.

SPEAKER_07

I mean bad people, good rollers. Look, we're trying to be good people. Maybe that's our reward for trying to be good or four dark side, one light side.

SPEAKER_04

Are you talking about karma?

SPEAKER_03

So you would have to use a destiny point to use that light. I don't know if it would really help you, or you wouldn't really need it. You'd be able to get rid of one of those uh one of those threats.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

But um all all the threat is doing is that the lingering effects of the poison are giving you more strain. I'll allow it. So you take a little bit more strain, but you can uh wake up this creature, and uh you're you're used to handling animals, you know how to how to ride beasts. So as you hop on its back, it does wake up. It doesn't notice that you are not the guy uh that you killed. Thankfully, he told you his full name and title. So you know how to refer to yourself. He is uh Titus Kira, the predicus maximus of the Kira clan of beast riders. That's alright, that's Titus.

SPEAKER_04

I I feel like we're gonna be running into those uh uh beast hamers here sooner rather than later.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because there are still a couple of them that are flying around in the sky. If you are uh far enough away, uh you might be able to fool them.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, so I'm gonna I don't know, I guess I'm gonna have to try and be uh deceptive for a while now.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, if you can because if you can go with your beast riders, find where the rest of these guards are, and then like tell us where to meet you to wipe them out.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_07

Come on, Starzan, you're great at deceiving people, right?

SPEAKER_04

I actually have three green, it's not the worst.

SPEAKER_03

So you have worse stats. I do. So you can fly up and you can hear the other rider, one of the other beast riders, shouting. It's hard to hear him over the wind. But he says, Maximus, be they friend or foe. Oh, you could just say friend, I guess.

SPEAKER_04

Friend. Friendship. Then we away, exhunt to the compound. Igzunt, followed by bear. Okay, on the ground, can we just drop it? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was like, I don't know if that's correct or not, but I'm gonna say it anyway.

SPEAKER_07

Cause like on the ground, could we just track like follow stars and uh see if we can track them?

SPEAKER_03

Well, are you following? Because if you if you hear over the calm that he said that they are uh friend, presumably you'd be allowed to fly.

SPEAKER_07

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03

You could we guess we uh this is the uh monster moon.

SPEAKER_07

I guess we could just take off in the ship and follow. That might be a little bit more efficient.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, sure. Let's uh let's lift off and follow.

SPEAKER_04

You can consider they think we're friends.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. You can lift off and follow when they provide an X escort to a compound that is uh sort of at odds with itself. You can see that it is built into these ancient ruins. Uh if you know anything about Mandalorian architecture, you can see that the ancient stone and metal ruins are Mandalorian in style. But the building that has been built around and within those ruins is of uh golden Anduronian opulence. So much, a much more recent construction. And you can see that uh an area of the forest has been cleared away around the ruins and around this new uh palace, it looks like. There are a couple of small ships that are docked there. Uh, you can see glinting in the sunlight uh a fighting ring where some Mandalorians are duking it out in sort of a training session with some of the beast riders. So it seems like he does have a substantial force of bodyguards that are uh Mandalorians and Beast Riders.

SPEAKER_07

Ugh god damn it, how many people are we gonna have to kill? God damn more.

SPEAKER_03

Hopefully none.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, that was the the nature of the contract that we uh have taken on.

SPEAKER_04

I know, but like maybe we can convince them to be just like friend? Oh.

SPEAKER_07

Hey man, haven't you thought about getting a change in employment?

SPEAKER_04

Hey, after we killed your leader and then deceived you. No hard feelings, right?

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_03

And you can touch down on your steed as well, Starzan and the other two come over. And they say, Maximus, are you sure we can trust them? They ride a steed of metal rather than of bone and flesh. We're riders of all things, baby.

SPEAKER_00

Um now that you're close and not shouting across the wind, we'll see if they believe that you are who you say you are.

SPEAKER_03

I should just say let it at like a comfortable distance. So this'll be against their discipline, uh, two reds and a purple.

SPEAKER_05

What if I sneezed while he talked? That's two.

SPEAKER_03

That adds a blue. I mean, if you're bringing foreign illnesses onto their planet.

SPEAKER_05

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03

That would distract them from me. One failure, one despair. Oh chair.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, you have to fight this whole compound now!

SPEAKER_03

And he looks at you and he says, he sniffs. Maximus, your musk is wrong. And he reaches towards your head to grab the helmet off your face. I slap his hand away. Uh yeah, give me a brawl. Oh, okay. That's where I'm a Viking.

SPEAKER_04

That's where I'm a Viking.

SPEAKER_03

So this would be a brawl against his brawl. So that'd be a three purple.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, this poor duelt. You fool. You don't know what you've entered into. Uh six success, one threat, three dark side, one light side.

SPEAKER_07

Six. So what do you mean? That's a lot of just snap his arm.

SPEAKER_04

I just kind of hold his wrist in like in a way that lets me him know that I could break it if I wanted to.

SPEAKER_00

Just be like Mind yourself. My musk has been compromised by that of your mother.

SPEAKER_06

Oh.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, so you have it, you got a despair on that, so you can this could be a coercion using your brawl.

SPEAKER_07

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, using your brawn as well. Y ranks of coercion with your brawn. I have no rank, so. You got that despair, so that will upgrade one of the uh purples to a red. Uh this is coercion against his discipline. So this will be against uh three reds. He already doesn't believe you, uh, but you're now you're able to use your your brawn instead to to just uh make him submit, even if he doesn't think you are who you say you are, he may not say anything.

SPEAKER_04

Two success, two advantage.

SPEAKER_03

So you got those advantage. I might not be that guy, but I am the boss now. He pulls he pulls his hand away and he says, Yes, I know you have told me many times.

SPEAKER_07

Well now I really wish you would stop going to her house.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god. This is prima nocturne on steroids. You can just take anyone's mother when you feel like it. God. He seems he seems sad about it. Prima nocta on steroids.

SPEAKER_07

Make him call you dad.

SPEAKER_03

There is plenty of meat that is ripe on the bone. Would you not take my sister instead? She has been begging for it for years. You know this, Maximus. Um, currently.

SPEAKER_08

Oh god! Oh Lord!

SPEAKER_04

Uh is she is she available for No, I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_03

Lord in heaven! You can see that the uh the sister actually gets off the other beast, Chris, and you can see that she is she is more than a match for you. Oh my uh I uh These are these are all broad muscular hairsuit people.

SPEAKER_04

I see you go to the gym. I like to go to the gym too.

SPEAKER_03

She uh looks you up and down and she says, What are you, the towel boy?

SPEAKER_08

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03

I'm okay with holding your tower, sweetheart. Maximus, what are these people here for?

SPEAKER_04

Uh tourism. I take out my camera and I just take pictures of the landscape.

SPEAKER_07

I'll point around and go, like, oh wow, oh look at that!

SPEAKER_04

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03

They are here to help.

SPEAKER_05

I would like to sample your local cuisine.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I get it. They're here to help transport the refugees. Yes, yes, of course, yes. Well, mind yourself, this is not your world. We barely tolerate the Mandalorians as it is.

SPEAKER_00

Maximus says you will be tolerant and appreciative of our guests.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, oh, hang on. Cause you said this is like a whole compound thing here. Yeah. Where it's like, this is gonna be a lot of people to take out. What if instead of just killing people? Catch this. What if we play a little bit? Not a long con, because we can't be here all year. Let's say a medium con, where instead we just sew descent among the beast riders and sow descent among the Mandalorians, and we provoke them to a little civil war and they all just kill each other. You know, I heard that Mandalorian was trying to fuck your mom too.

SPEAKER_03

Give me a deception?

SPEAKER_07

You know, I think they uh Oh yeah, like on the way in, you know, I I know the uh the the the the the predicus Maximus like obviously he's allowed to fuck your mom. I thought I heard one of those Mandalorians talking about it too. I don't know. What kind of deception?

SPEAKER_04

I don't know I don't know.

SPEAKER_07

Good enough to fuck your mother! I don't know if we want to stand for that.

SPEAKER_03

Uh so she would probably this would be a three purple deception.

SPEAKER_07

Damn, is that it? I shouldn't say that. I don't want jinx myself. What do we have for destiny?

SPEAKER_03

Uh you have two.

SPEAKER_07

You know what? I have a yellow, three green, and a blue to deception. I'll one success, three advantage. I owe you barely been tolerating them, man. Like, even if they're joking, like that's not a good joke to be making if you're under someone else's hospitality. You don't hit piss on hospitality, you shouldn't allow it.

SPEAKER_03

I wouldn't allow it. And he says, You're right. Those Mandalorians have been making things difficult for us. Their leader thinks he's so important with that laser sword of his. I should take it and become the leader of their clan myself. I could whip them into shape.

SPEAKER_07

Oh boy. Yeah, you know, like you'd be a way better leader than that guy. And I bet if you did that, like, the predicus would be real impressed, right?

SPEAKER_03

The predicus would be impressed, and perhaps he would take me as his bride, except the witch would make us her slave.

SPEAKER_07

Witch?

SPEAKER_03

Which witch. Uh, yes, you may not be familiar. Our benefactor, the one who has kept us safe from the Empire, has a witch in his employ. She deigns to command us all.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, well, you know, you uh what what if you like give us a description, point us in the direction you take care of the Mandalorians who talking about fucking your mom? We can take care of that witch.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, you would not miss her. She is withered and pale, her head shorn. But you can still point us in the direction. Yes, you will find her in our benefactor's chambers. But no doubt the Mandalorian is there as well. Preening.

SPEAKER_07

Preening. And which way to the benefactor's chambers?

SPEAKER_03

And she like looks back at the giant opulent palace.

SPEAKER_07

Oh well, okay. Look, if I were actually visually in the environment that my character is, I would have seen that. What do you what do you say? Uh uh the predicus Maximus can help us, you know, like we're all in this together.

SPEAKER_03

Maximus, is it time? Is it time to enact the plan that we dared not whisper?

SPEAKER_04

We should maybe dare whisper it before we enact it, just so we're on the same page. Incredible. You you go first. I'll f I'll follow as you say it. Hum a few bars and I'll join in.

SPEAKER_07

Okay. How about with a count to three? We both say it.

SPEAKER_04

What we will take over Does Does that work?

SPEAKER_03

Since you are already familiar with the plan, Maximus, since you yourself laid it out to us. At your signal, I will do my part. I will unleash the call of the beast and summon the creatures of the wood to overrun those bucketheads. Oh. And then you will have me. Um how?

SPEAKER_07

Chris, you don't have to ask that question, you know.

SPEAKER_04

Uh uh. I guess Titus was the Chris Aunt of this community.

SPEAKER_07

Well, he was the king. She wants to be his queen.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Look, you don't have to carry through with it.

SPEAKER_00

Uh and then I will uh lay you thrice. Hell yeah, dog. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

Well that's less than usual, but given the circumstances, we are on a rush. I look back at Chris to be like, is that right?

SPEAKER_04

Was that the right thing to say? I I I I get I give a confident thumbs up.

SPEAKER_07

Hell yeah. Chriss saunts your wingman now.

SPEAKER_04

My Sereno. Okay. Yeah. I mean, that might be okay, unleashing hell, right?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. And we'll go take care of the witch while they unleash the hell.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

We're all rooting for you. So you can go you can go inside uh the palace and you can see the beast riders and the Mandalorians standing on opposite sides of the halls like they're at a middle school dance. You go ask someone to dance first, no, you go. The uh beast riders, they nod at you, they give you the the nod of respect while the Mandalorians glower at you from beneath their helmets.

SPEAKER_07

Do either of them try to interfere with us if they see us coming in with the Primark?

SPEAKER_03

The pre the uh Predicus Maximus?

SPEAKER_07

Or the Predicus Maximus. Mass Effect. Look.

SPEAKER_03

Uh no, the the Beast Riders they nod at you, the Mandalorians glower at you, but uh the Beast Riders, like, they they've accepted you, your stature is is enough, and you're wearing the helmet, and the Mandalorians, they probably don't give a shit enough to it's like, oh, it's a big oily guy in a bone helmet shirt, whatever.

SPEAKER_07

They don't care enough to interrogate of his identity.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. They don't care where he got that sword from. And you can uh follow the hallway down to the throne room of this self-styled crime lord. And you can see uh he's talking to what appears to be like a family of nobles that have like a dyscopious amounts of luggage with them. Uh and he notices you and he says, Ah, yes, you, of course. You must be the transport captains that are here to ferry our passengers off world. You managed to break the Imperial blockade.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, who are the passengers?

SPEAKER_03

This delightful noble family that has paid a generous amount to this operation. Percentage of which, of course, will be going to you. Ooh, a delightful f a delightful family.

SPEAKER_07

Do they in fact look delightful?

SPEAKER_03

Uh they look like they're rich enough to save their own asses from the Empire.

SPEAKER_07

Of course.

SPEAKER_03

And you can see that, like, flanking uh his throne are uh two individuals. One of them is a Mandalorian.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Uh the Mandalorian wears like black and gray armor, and he's got some kind of like blue sigil on his chest. Uh there is there appears to be a laser sword hanging from his belt. Uh, and the other person is, as mentioned, a woman who is pale, thin, and bald of head.

SPEAKER_07

Would we would we recognize either of them enough to get a name?

SPEAKER_03

Uh, roll me a knowledge underworld. Underworld. A kind of underworld.

SPEAKER_04

Two purple and a black.

SPEAKER_07

Two failure, two advantage.

SPEAKER_04

Two threat. One success, one threat. Starzan's somehow getting all these great knowledge checks today.

SPEAKER_07

Starzan's so smart today.

SPEAKER_05

Three success, three threats.

SPEAKER_04

People keep talking about how good of a roller he is.

SPEAKER_07

I at least got advantage. Wahoo!

SPEAKER_03

Starzan and Illyria, you both got success with threat. So each of you can identify one of them. Uh, and it has to be the same one. So which one do you know? Uh yeah, Mandalorian. So if you were agreed on knowing the Mandalorian, uh, you would have heard stories um filtering through during the war, that briefly uh a Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi kind of got involved in a situation on Mandalore, uh, where there was some kerfuffle with a group called the Death Watch that was trying to uh disrupt their sort of pacifist government. And you remember hearing that their leader, uh a man called Pre-Vizla, escaped and was never caught, and that the Death Watch is still out there somewhere. It seems that they've ended up in the amploy of uh this crime lord with Pre-Vizla being one of his high-ranking bodyguards, and one of the no kind of the interesting things, Kala, you notice this, and you're like, oh yeah, I've heard of that guy. Is that the lightsaber hanging on his belt is not a trophy that he won from a Jedi, but it is uh an ancient Mandalorian artifact, a symbol of leadership called the Darksaber.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, so this is the Mandalore, kind of.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, by by he doesn't you they don't use that title, or at least openly, but that is who he is. He is uh the legend's continuity, the shadow Mandalore.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Shadow Man.

SPEAKER_07

Who else is it just the two guards in this room, the two guards and this noble family?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it seems that like uh the crime lord in in his throne room, he's keeping like the two his two tops there.

SPEAKER_07

He is the bottom.

SPEAKER_03

He says, how how soon can you away these nobles to somewhere safe?

SPEAKER_07

Um do we care about these nobles seeing us murdering some people?

SPEAKER_04

I mean I mean how how good a boys are we trying to be? I mean, it's not even it's not it's not even it's not even that like okay, I I I don't think I care that much.

SPEAKER_07

If these nobles see us kill people.

SPEAKER_04

Like, as long as they know that, like, I don't know, who's in charge.

SPEAKER_07

So what I'm hearing is let's just start attacking.

SPEAKER_03

See what happens. And as as standing there thinking about what to do, uh, the woman kind of leans over to him, the crime lord, and whispers in his ear and he says, Yes, of course. Uh, if you wouldn't mind, uh my associate here would like to just make sure you were on the up and up. We haven't dealt with you before.

SPEAKER_07

This might initiate things on its own. Can I I'll uncommit the the forest eye that I had on my Ooh, actually though? Well, well, I mean my perception and vigilance are already both pretty decent. So I'll uncommit the forest eye had on my seek and I'll commit all three of mine to suppress just to give myself some uh some protection. Sorry guys, it doesn't help you here.

SPEAKER_03

That's okay. She got two darks on her sense check against you.

SPEAKER_07

No, she doesn't. Yeah, well that's uh not on me at least.

SPEAKER_03

And she looks she looks back at uh the crime lord and she says, Interesting, this one is blocking me. And the crime source says, What do you mean, Ventress blocking you? And she says, Yes. She appears to wield the force, but I wonder, are you here to help us or harm us? Did the Empire send you? The Empire didn't send us.

SPEAKER_07

Not the Empire, bitch, can I quick draw? Oh fuck. Let's just pop this off. We're lighting the candle.

SPEAKER_00

We're fighting Ventress today.

SPEAKER_07

What would we know about Ventress? Old move, okay. Okay. Well we've um look, I shoot slugs. Even if she deflects it with a lightsaber, it's just gonna turn to molten metal all over her face.

SPEAKER_03

You she's like come right up to you. But dang, she's really close, uh. Yeah, this would start as an engaged range. Oh man. Uh, so it starts as two purple. Um, she has two points of melee defense, so that adds two blacks. She has adversary three, so that is going to be two reds, a purple, and two blacks.

SPEAKER_07

One success, two advantaged.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Look at you go. You can fire at her. She is going to uh take some strain to collect that. So she reduces the damage by six.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, I should have aimed. I didn't think that but that means I have two maneuvers. Can I uh scurry back? Yeah. Out of engaged range. Could I could I take a s could I take uh some strain and s do two maneuvers and scurry back to medium range? Yeah. Yeah, let's get I gotta I'm a sniper. I need some space. I need some room to breathe.

SPEAKER_03

Shoot her in the face and then run away. And you are right, as she is reflecting your slugs as you fire these shots, they are turning into these molten pieces of metal. Uh, she's gonna hurl them back at you.

SPEAKER_08

Oh, come on. I'm just a little scam. Don't do that.

SPEAKER_07

Do I have hey on, do I have dodge? Do I have dodge under my hunter tree? I don't know if I do, actually. Nah, I'm just gonna get splatted.

SPEAKER_03

So, uh, it's going to count as uh one silhouette zero object. This one glob of molten metal hitting you.

SPEAKER_07

Well, I also have reflect, so.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so it's silhouette zero, so it does five damage. You got five success, so ten damage in total.

SPEAKER_07

Can I take three strain to use my reflect?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, how much can you?

SPEAKER_07

Reduce that uh reduce damage by two plus ranks and reflect, so be-I think I just have one rank and reflect, so by three.

SPEAKER_03

By three. She got two advantages as well, which means she can activate the burn quality.

SPEAKER_07

Man.

SPEAKER_03

Uh so this would just be um only two advantages, so we'll say it's for one round. So on your next round, you take the base damage, which would be five in this case. So you take an extra five points of wound, uh, mitigated by your soap next round as well. Just from the burn.

SPEAKER_07

Mitigated by soap, though, so then we take it down to like two next round. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

And for her maneuver, she gets into a uh defensive stance. So she'll have uh another black on. She's ready to uh to fight against you guys, but the rest of you can go. Um, what's John Favreau doing right now? Uh John Favreau is uh drawing, he's got like a pistol in one hand and the darksaber in the other, and he's like he looks like he's ready to take off with his jetpack.

SPEAKER_04

Can I sh try and shoot the darksaber out of his hand?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, that's a that's gonna add some blacks, but it's okay.

SPEAKER_03

So that'll add uh two blacks. You would be at short range from him. He's also he's also a nemesis, so let's see what he's gonna do. Uh so he's got three ranks of adversary, so that would be a red, two purples, and a black for his defense. I got three success, but a threat. So you can shoot him with that threat though, he doesn't drop his weapon.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

And what gun are you using?

SPEAKER_04

Um, that one I'm using uh let's see here. Not the variable blaster, the other one. The heartwood?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Okay, because remember the heartwood, you can suffer strain up to your force rating to add advantage.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, force. So yeah, so yeah, in that case, I will uh uh up to my force rating, so that's two for so my force rating is two, so turn your threat into an advantage.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so yeah, I'll do that. With that advantage, you can knock the lightsaber out of his hand.

SPEAKER_07

Yay!

SPEAKER_04

That's a start, and uh that might be my turn. Or unless I'm like I'm able to sort of like start maybe running after the darksaber.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, if you want to use your maneuver to try and run over and grab it, you can. I'm gonna try and run over and get it. So you can uh do that. Uh Starzan and Dlyria.

SPEAKER_04

Thinking about this, should I fight Ventress or you Okay. Probably hit Ventress. She's more more of a threat here. I I have more things against John Favreau than you do than you do, so yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

You got beef with John Favreau. This is for swingers.

SPEAKER_04

Cowboy Cowboys and Aliens was not very good. I like Chef though. Chef is pretty fun. I like Chef.

SPEAKER_07

Shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, so I'm gonna attack the Ventress. Okay. Uh, so that would be two.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I'm also sorry, I'm also gonna commit a force dice to make my strength for uh my brawn a6. Okay. So that is gonna be against two reds, a purple, and three blacks, because she's uh in a defensive posture.

SPEAKER_01

Ooh!

SPEAKER_04

Two reds, a purple, and three blacks. Okay. Well, I haven't rolled yet, but that's a lot of dice. Da-da-da. One success, two advantage. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

She's gonna parry that. She can reduce that by five, so she takes four. Uh what's your crit? Yeah, I didn't see anything on there saying that it was a change to crit, so it would be two. Okay, so why don't you crit? 63. Slightly dazed. She's disoriented until the end of the encounter. So she has a black dollar checks.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, nice. Can I also attack her with my lightsaber?

SPEAKER_03

You're gonna gang up on her.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so that would be uh the same. That would be two reds, a purple, and three blacks.

SPEAKER_04

John Favreau's gonna attack me now.

SPEAKER_07

Poor Chris is like, let's split up evenly, and everyone's like, mob her.

SPEAKER_05

One success, two threat.

SPEAKER_07

Not a crit. Not a crit.

SPEAKER_03

Not a crit. Not a despair. Uh, so she's going to bury that as well. So she only takes four damage from that, but that's still, you're still, she's like halfway.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, we're getting her. We're getting her down.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so Illyria and Starzan can gang up on her, slowly breaking down her defenses as Kallus coots back and Chris runs towards the Darksaber. Vizla, he sees you coming. Uh, so he holds up his arm and starts blasting you with his flamethrower.

SPEAKER_04

Uh what if, and hear me out, he doesn't.

SPEAKER_07

What if he just cuts that shit out?

SPEAKER_04

What if he like just decides to go away? No, uh, he just uh picks up the Darksaber and then turns it on himself.

SPEAKER_07

What if he looks into Chris's dreamy eyes and he just hears a romantic ballad play in his head? Because how could he harm such perfection?

SPEAKER_04

And what if I hear it too?

SPEAKER_07

What if you and John Favreau kissed in the middle of the throne? Poking your fingers. So yeah, what if we kissed in the middle of this heated battle?

SPEAKER_03

So, uh his flamethrower hits you for three success, three advantages. Ooh. That's bad. Yeah, so it does eight points of wound before your soak. And his uh flamethrower also has crit two with vicious three, so he's gonna roll his crit and add 30. You rolled a 29, so that becomes a 59. An agonizing wound. Hey bad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Hey.

SPEAKER_03

You increase the difficulty of all brawn and agility checks until the end. So you, yeah, this flame is severely burning burning your arms.

SPEAKER_07

No! It's okay, so I'll get him for you next time.

SPEAKER_03

And we are now at the end of the round, which means Ventress and Vizla get to go again. Everyone's still standing, that's a thing.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, none of us are dead yet.

SPEAKER_03

Vizla, after blasting you with his flame projector, his flamethrower, he bends down, he picks up his sword, turns it on, and he comes slashing. Oh no! So unfortunately, uh he got two success, which means he does eight points of wound to you. You just took eight points of wound. So you're at you're you're at 16, you're past your threshold. Oh no!

SPEAKER_04

Who can resurrect?

SPEAKER_03

So that's he's not dead dead. So he also has the Sunder quality. So the the weapon you were just holding was your Heartwood Blaster, so he does damage that. No! That's such a good blaster though! Not destroy, just damage. So if you uh it'll have a black added to uh your rolls uh until you can get it repaired. And you are knocked out. Uh, so gonna roll your D100. You already have a crit, so we'll add 10. 66 gets bumped up to 76. Stop it! Oh fuck, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_08

Oh no, is it overpowered?

SPEAKER_03

It's overpowered.

SPEAKER_08

Oh no, Elyria can resurrect you if you die!

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, uh is just gonna kick a a horse while he's down. Okay, three success and one advantage. Stop succeeding! Um, yeah, so you're all you're already down. He just like cloaks you with the lightsaber, he's like, fuck you.

unknown

Fuck you.

SPEAKER_04

Fuck you, pal!

SPEAKER_07

One last little burn for the road.

SPEAKER_04

Hopefully his distraction of decimating your corpse is helpful to us in defeating him.

SPEAKER_07

Don't worry, I'll I'll try to headshot him next time. After Asage Ventress, uh man, I sure hope Zin isn't mad if we kill Asage Ventress since she's a knight sister. There's no time to think about that right now. But yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I feel like if we tell her that she killed uh Chris, it'll be uh everything will be copacetic.

SPEAKER_07

And it's like, oh okay, that's fair.

SPEAKER_03

An eye for an eye. She is fighting against Starzan and Illyria. I don't know if she knows what Starzan is. She might just think he's just a weird, like, a beast rider.

SPEAKER_07

Um yeah, because you still have your armor on.

SPEAKER_03

That's right. That somehow has like a a laser sword, laser comma sword. But uh, you are also wailing on her uh quite significantly. Yeah. Wailing. And absorbed her attack pretty well. She wants to get free of this, so she's gonna have her, she's gonna do a force hurl. She's gonna throw up. She might.

SPEAKER_07

She's gonna spew.

SPEAKER_03

Spewing, spewing to this. Projectile vomit using the force. How have we not seen that yet? So she has to roll her her discipline with this. Uh so this is two success, two threats, a triumph, two lights and three darks. She's not targeting Kala, but she is targeting Starzan and Illyria. Uh oh. So she's spends one to uh activate the power, one to increase the silhouette, one to increase the magnitude. Illyria and Starzan, you both go flying off, crashing into opposite ends of the room, slamming into the walls. It cracks and crumbles as you impact it. That triumph is gonna crit. Uh, you are silhouette one, so you each take 10 points of wound before you're soaked.

SPEAKER_05

Before.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Before.

SPEAKER_04

I don't like the Hey, okay, I'm I'm I'm dead.

SPEAKER_03

I can't say anything, but And because she got that triumph, uh, she can also crit both of you. Uh 32 stunned, so you're staggered uh for the next round and can't perform an action.

SPEAKER_06

Oh no!

SPEAKER_04

Jesus Christ! Uh I'm going to use my injure.

SPEAKER_07

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, Starzin.

SPEAKER_04

Which means uh when the character suffers a critical injury with a severity rating of no greater than easy.

SPEAKER_03

Yep, this is easy. Hopefully.

SPEAKER_04

The character may activate injure as an out of turn incidental and commit one force point to temporarily ignore the effects of that injury. Nice.

SPEAKER_03

So you can't. Yeah. Perfect. Illyria though. Attack that out of con out of commission yet. Top of the next round.

SPEAKER_07

Well, Chris is out. Chris is unconscious. Can I try to snipe pre-Vizla? Just aim for his neck underneath the helmet. See if I can one-hit him.

SPEAKER_03

Gonna kerk him? I'm gonna kirk him. LOL. Oh man. Uh, yeah, so that'd be uh add two blacks since you're calling your shot. Add two blacks. You're gonna make you're gonna make his microphone pack explode. So you're at long range from Vizla right now.

SPEAKER_07

Uh, so that'd be three purple?

SPEAKER_03

Uh so that would be three reds and three blacks because you're calling your shot.

SPEAKER_07

Ooh, what am I at for strain? I'm at five strain. Got 13. You know what? I'm gonna take two more so I can aim twice. Okay. Add two more blues on there. And what do we have for Destiny?

SPEAKER_03

You have two.

SPEAKER_07

You know what? I'm gonna flip one and get another yellow. Three success? That's such a bullshit roll. Man, like I know I succeeded. I know I got pierced through it.

SPEAKER_04

It would have been nice to have an advantage.

SPEAKER_07

It would have been nice to get a crit. Yeah, you do you do manage. It was such a huge it was a really huge dice pool for three success.

SPEAKER_03

You do manage to shoot him, uh, get a couple of hits in between his armor plates. Not enough to crit him or do anything massive like that.

SPEAKER_07

Damn it. I mean, if nothing else, maybe I'll at least pull his attention away from kicking Chris's unconscious body. Please.

SPEAKER_03

So now that uh Starzan and Illyria aren't wailing on Ventress anymore, she is going to take advantage of the straight shot to you.

unknown

Oh no!

SPEAKER_03

She will have to take some strain to get to you. She'll have to use uh both of her maneuvers. Okay. So this is gonna be a uh regular lightsaber attack then. Oh, you have Destiny here. Let me give you one.

SPEAKER_07

Good.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you.

SPEAKER_07

Thanks.

SPEAKER_03

Uh seven success. Wow. Should we run about this? So she does 16 points of wound to Yukela.

SPEAKER_07

Oh no! Oh no, and that g that definitely goes through my soak. Oh, oh, oh wait, I have to- Well, it has breach.

SPEAKER_03

Lightsabers have breach, so soak doesn't even I have parry! You have parry? Okay, uh what?

SPEAKER_07

I'll suffer three more strain, reduce it by two, plus my ranks of parry, so reduce it by three! Reduce it by three, so that's So I think that would take me like right to my wound threshold. But how ma hound, how much strain do I have to take to parry? What was that? Three strain.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so so you are at your wound threshold now.

SPEAKER_07

At my wound threshold, real close to my strain threshold, but I'm up! I'm technically up.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna go after uh Ventress again.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, because how far away from her would you be since you got thrown against the wall? Uh at short range.

SPEAKER_03

Can I get into range to use the lightsaber? Yeah, you would probably have to use both your maneuvers, so you would take some strain, and you can do it. Okay. Easy cake, easy cake. Uh, so that is going to be two reds, a purple, and two blacks. How are we doing for destiny? Uh, you have two.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna use one. One success, five advantages. Oh nice!

SPEAKER_07

Oh, that's enough to crit her twice, so you gotta add some onto that too.

SPEAKER_03

That does bring her to her wound threshold, not over. Ooh. Ooh, we're so close.

SPEAKER_04

Roll my crits crit twice then?

SPEAKER_03

You would add 10. And she already has one, so you can uh add 20. That makes it 90.

SPEAKER_07

Ooh, that's good.

SPEAKER_03

Compromise. Increase the difficulty of all skill checks until the end of the encounter. Yeah, bitch. We can do it. We can do it.

SPEAKER_04

You got me.

SPEAKER_03

Come on. And Illyria.

SPEAKER_05

I can go now. What can I do?

SPEAKER_03

Uh, if you want to do any maneuvers.

SPEAKER_07

Like if you want to get to into range of Chris so you could heal him on your next turn.

SPEAKER_03

You can run over to Chris.

SPEAKER_05

All of my stuff is like on maneuver.

SPEAKER_03

Get re get ready to help him.

SPEAKER_07

I'll go over. Get into range and just pat him on the head and be like, they're there.

SPEAKER_03

So, uh, Starzan did a surprise attack on Ventress. She is definitely feeling it. Uh, but she does uh well, no, it wouldn't be the end of the round. It would be uh Vizla going first, and then they all get their end of the rounds.

SPEAKER_07

Maybe Vizla will just spray us all with fire and he'll accidentally kill her for us.

SPEAKER_03

How much does Vizla care about Ventress?

SPEAKER_07

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04

Join us! Maybe I'm gonna go to the room. I mean, I can't I can't charm him into joining us, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_03

He can see that Ventress is basically like on her last legs. He's a pretty calculating guy, so he can see that Starzan and Kala are kind of in engaged range with Ventress. So rather than uh jetting over there with his jet pack, he just kind of kneels down and he bends over and aims his missile at the group of you.

SPEAKER_06

Oh no!

SPEAKER_03

Hey, do you want to join the good guys? I'm not here. Give you a uh destiny point. He just uh he wants to hit.

SPEAKER_04

He oh, don't we all?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, we do. Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_07

Does he get a despair?

SPEAKER_03

No. Does he only hit Ventrix? He he just gets one success. So only Starzan is hit with a missile. Oh no, thanks. You can't crit so Starzan, uh, you take 15 points of wound.

SPEAKER_08

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03

Uh you take a missile to the back, uh, and it and it just barely knocks you out.

SPEAKER_07

Son of a bitch.

SPEAKER_03

Ventress, then, is going to use the last of her strength to attack you, Kala.

SPEAKER_07

Can I parry?

SPEAKER_03

You can try, yeah.

SPEAKER_07

I'm gonna try. Oh god, wait, that'll make me pass out though. Ooh, if I oh wait, no, technically I can still parry. It'll take me right up to my strength threshold, but I can.

SPEAKER_03

So she gets four success, that's 13 points of woo for her, soak.

SPEAKER_07

I'll parry! Is that okay, so I mean look, I'm going down anyways, I'd at least rather reduce how much she takes me over by. Okay. Well, okay, actually maybe not, because like any crits that I take could also make the strain worse. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna start re-rolling my character. No, no. My next character. So.

SPEAKER_07

Does that mean Illyria's the only one still up?

SPEAKER_03

What about Panthar?

SPEAKER_07

Oh my god, Panthar!

SPEAKER_03

Pant Star, you left him on the ship because you had to take the flying creature. You're right. You're right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Dang.

SPEAKER_03

Illyria. If you're running over to Chris, then that means that uh you're right next to Vizla. Should she run over to somebody else?

SPEAKER_07

Well, he's I think it's already happened.

SPEAKER_03

He's got his Darksaber. He's the bodyguard. They're doing their job. Somebody's tried to uh seems come at the come at his boss. Oh shit. Um, two success, two threats in a triumph.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

We're fucking we're fucking dead. So you take eight points of wound, Valyria.

SPEAKER_06

Maybe we'll just become prisoners. 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. Hey! Oh my god, are you still up? Have a 15 of 15.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and uh triumph, you get a crit. You already took one, so it can add 10 onto that. Does the darksaber have vicious? No. Oh, six. Sixteen. You're distracted. You cannot perform your free maneuver during your next turn. Well, fuck.

SPEAKER_06

I guess you can't. Uh no. Is this? My free maneuver.

SPEAKER_03

So you can still spend, yeah, two strain to do a maneuver. You are at Chris. Vizla does have like the dark saber like right at your throat.

SPEAKER_05

Can I just touch his ankle and heal him? Parlay? Um, actually, it's against uh the Geneva conventions to uh murder a a medic.

SPEAKER_03

Geneva doesn't exist yet, Jedi.

SPEAKER_07

Wait, what do you mean yet? What do you mean yet? This is a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.

SPEAKER_04

Thanks, Onyx Onyx the Fortuitous.

SPEAKER_05

Can I do I have to touch Chris to heal him?

SPEAKER_03

Uh depends on what you roll. Because you can heal at range.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, I can. And I will. I'll roll my force reading.

SPEAKER_07

Look, I'm just saying if Chr if Illyria heals Chris real sneaky like and Chris rises like a zombie and just shoots wildly, that would be surprising. I mean, it might catch him off guard.

SPEAKER_05

So with my heal harm, I just roll force?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Can I use the light side?

SPEAKER_03

Uh, you have enough destiny points.

SPEAKER_05

For a light side! Oh nice.

SPEAKER_03

So, uh you'll take some strain, you can use a destiny point. What upgrades do you have to your heal?

SPEAKER_05

I have two range, two magnitude, control critical, control strength, strength, mastery.

SPEAKER_03

You could do magnitude and heal yourself and Chris.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. The power of the light will sustain you. I will.

SPEAKER_03

Your action was to heal. Vizla's action, uh, because he's got you by the throat. He thinks the rest of you are dead. All that's left is this little puny little medic. So he's. So he's going to uh coerce you. He's gonna roll a coercion against you. What's your what's your discipline?

SPEAKER_05

My discipline is too yellow, too green. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Uh fuck, a success in a triumph. Fuck's sake.

SPEAKER_07

Everyone's talking about how good Eden's rolls are. Why is this happening?

SPEAKER_03

He says, Lay down your weapons, and maybe I won't kill you. And you feel like maybe it's a really good idea to lay down your weapons.

SPEAKER_05

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

And he slaps the cuffs on you. And he says, We'll deal with you. And as he's marching you out of the throne room, he doesn't notice Chris getting up.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, Chris, don't don't sing a song while getting up. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03

In that case, you can maybe sing it under your breath, sing it in your brain.

SPEAKER_04

No, no, no, no, no, I know. I know. I I no, no, I know. Uh okay. So So if I So uh where where's Ventress right now? Uh Ventress is at the far end of the room. Uh in that case, I I I will just say uh Ventress happened under my breath.

SPEAKER_07

Man, I don't know. I feel like maybe uh biding your time and then we try to break Elyria out if uh Chris can surreptitiously uh get to us and he heal us and then we just slip off.

SPEAKER_04

I mean I mean I I could just la la uh I do have a couple of stim packs uh that I can uh use with you guys.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, because I think I have let me check. Yeah, because I I have four stim packs in my pockets too. If there was a way for Chris to like wait and then crawl over.

SPEAKER_03

There there is also a potential nuclear option. So right now we've got two dark side destiny points and two light side. Things are balanced. Are you willing to burn both of your destiny points?

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

So what would be to happen if somebody who had a thing inside them and was having to periodically roll discipline checks was no longer awake. Oh shit. Yeah, nuclear option, let's do it.

SPEAKER_07

I think if Kala died thinking that her friends were about to go, even if there is anything awake of Kala in there.

SPEAKER_03

Kala's not dead, Kala's just knocked out. She is she does have 29 points of wound taken. That would do it. It's not it's not a death, but it w it might be that your body doesn't belong to you for a little bit. Oh boy. We're gonna Amy Acker her from Angel.

SPEAKER_07

That's a that's a god, I can't believe this didn't happen to Elyria.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

We have two destiny points. Yeah. Let's go nuclear.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, Kala, roll me your uh roll me a discipline. You're unconscious, so uh you're just about twice over your wound threshold, so we'll say we'll take two blacks onto that.

SPEAKER_07

Two blacks, okay.

SPEAKER_03

Five red discipline. Fuck me.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, it's it's not that bad. It's just four failure and two threats.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_07

So there's like a horrible wailing that fills the air.

SPEAKER_03

So some time ago, something happened to Kala uh when you guys went to visit the Mindwalkers. Uh, she didn't come back all right. She had some some lingering presence that was waiting for the right moment to make itself known. A moment of perhaps total defeat might be a a place where that could happen. A moment where Kala could not help her friends. So, Kala, you are able to return to your wound threshold.

SPEAKER_07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

You are able to use uh the dark side again because it was not this thing that got the dark blasted out, it was you. So there is a uh a visitor that is now uh controlling your actions. So, Chris, you can see Kala getting up, but she's moving different, as if there's a different brain piloting her body. Does the dark passenger say the thing? Well, that just happened.

SPEAKER_07

I might have to tamper that.

SPEAKER_03

Uh, so Chris, uh, what do you you still have a turn to take, so what are you gonna do here? I do I know about her condition? Probably not.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, I feel like you there is an understanding that there is something weird going on with Kala after you left Castle, but you guys might not know exactly what it was. We need to talk about Kala.

SPEAKER_04

I I may just I I may just sort of like stay. Oh, you know what I'm gonna do?

SPEAKER_07

I'm gonna stay on the ground and be like, oh god, I hope she doesn't notice me.

SPEAKER_04

Beskar, uh lightsaber can't go through Beskar, is that correct? Like, depending on what your role. Um let me walk over let me walk over to Favreau and see if I can just snee uh up on him. Just see if I can shank him.

SPEAKER_03

So if you want to shank him, give you he does he thinks you're dead, uh, or at least incapacitated, so you can add a blue onto that. He does have two points of melee defense. Uh it does have three ranks of adversary, so that'll be two reds, a purple, and two blacks.

SPEAKER_04

So, I got two success, three threat.

SPEAKER_03

You can uh sneak up behind him, shank him with your lightsaber between the plates of his armor. It definitely hurts him. Not enough to take him all the way out, but you got those threats enough that he does like scream loudly in pain. The entity that is in Kala sees this. Hey Kala, why don't you uh roll me a uh discipline against your own discipline to make sure that you can actually uh attack the right person?

SPEAKER_07

My like my discipline? Yeah. Okay, discipline versus discipline. Uh-oh. One success, one threat. I can attack the right person, but I am a little confused.

SPEAKER_03

You take some strain, putting you over your threshold? Because this entity is keeping you, so you can control this entity for this turn.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, after this turn, is it gonna be like just Avaloth in control?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Oh dear, okay. We don't have any destiny points, we burn them all.

SPEAKER_03

You can you can use the dark side again.

SPEAKER_07

I I can use the dark side, but I couldn't do an unleash power. I couldn't. Unless you would allow that, since I've now uh got something in me.

SPEAKER_03

I think since you have right now you have access to Abaloth's power set. Uh, if you have the force rating requirements, you could use Yeah, I do. You you would take strain from that, uh, and you would have to do a uh you don't know how to do this, Abeloth does, so you would have to do a uh a discipline check, I think, as well.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, is that because it says average discipline in the description. God, this is bad.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, we're we really fucked ourselves a bit.

SPEAKER_07

This is bad. Two success, one threat, and three dark side.

SPEAKER_03

I can do it, and I You can lash out, Chris, as you're holding like your lightsaber inside as you shank pre-Vizla, the lights go out for a second and there's just a flash of lightning, and then uh a bolt just comes out of Kala's body and fries Vizla from the inside out. His armor just to the ground. However, Kala has now lost control.

SPEAKER_07

Uh should I just give you my character sheet for the remainder of this?

SPEAKER_03

Illyria, Illyria, you are uh still up, but the person that was Yeah, you were handcuffed, but the person who was uh leading you out is now a pile of dust on the ground. Can I heal people again while you could, but again, I'll say Ventress, she c once you are done your turn, it'll be her turn. She has she has reached her wound threshold.

SPEAKER_06

Ugh. She just needs one little stab. Just one little poke and she'll go down.

SPEAKER_03

Uh, you can't use the dark side.

SPEAKER_07

Okay. Just kick her over. Right, because you're cuffed. Are you cuffs in front or behind?

SPEAKER_03

Uh, we'll say in front.

SPEAKER_05

I reach my lightsaber.

SPEAKER_03

Uh, I think Vizla would have taken it and then dropped it. So yeah, you can pick it up.

SPEAKER_05

Alright, I'll pick it up and uh you left some strain.

SPEAKER_03

It'll be a a pick it up and a maneuver to get it over to her.

SPEAKER_05

That's fine. I have many strains. I'll wave my lightsaber at her.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so if you're gonna attack her, that is gonna be against two reds, a purple, and two blacks.

SPEAKER_05

Two blacks?

SPEAKER_03

She has many.

SPEAKER_05

One success, two threats.

SPEAKER_03

That is enough. You can slash through Ventress. However, you you take those, you got those threat. So as you kill Ventress, there is also this entity floating around. Kala's just kind of like hovering. Uh she she's not touching the ground anymore. She's just lifted slightly off it. She's limp and she's hanging there like a marionette.

SPEAKER_05

Oh god.

SPEAKER_03

Oh god.

unknown

Oh god.

SPEAKER_03

Like her hair is her hair is like over her face. Her eyes are rolled back white.

SPEAKER_07

I look like I just crawled out of a well.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Stop that. Cut it out.

SPEAKER_07

Exactly. I hear my friend making fun of me. I gotta come back.

SPEAKER_03

Give me a coercion.

SPEAKER_05

You look stupid.

SPEAKER_03

Give me a coercion against Kala's discipline. What's her discipline?

SPEAKER_04

Terrorize Bruce Campbell for a weekend.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

My discipline is what I saw two yellow and a green.

SPEAKER_05

God damn. I'm sorry. So it's two red and a purple. Two failure.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no! It doesn't work. So this thing's in total control. And you're trying to berate uh this entity. Uh it looks at you, it rolls.

SPEAKER_07

Hold up! Hold up! Can I make an argument? Okay. Can I make an argument here? Kala's not in control of the entity. However, this enemy has been riding around in Kala for some time. You mentioned when we went to that Jedi temple, where's the mother? This is the mother, right? Could it be argued that having traveled around in Kala around her friends for some time, that she might have a slight affection for them and be disinclined to kill them?

SPEAKER_03

She's our mama. You're right, she is Kala. I think at this point you may understand that she is some kind of mythical mother figure, perhaps related, very likely related to those entities at the Alishan base that were in all the carvings. And she only she got two lights and eight darks. And she tries to impress upon Illyria the love that a mother wants her child to feel. Like, why why aren't you happy that I am protecting you? So that although she only got two lights, eight darks, and give you a uh destiny point so she can use those lights to uh make Illyria feel kindness and love towards uh her new mother hanging in the air. Uh it's only two lights worth, so it's not that strong. But Illyria, you do uh you do feel a sense of fondness, twisted fondness. Uh it's not the same sort of uh allure as when you were like when you guys were looking into the well at her. Uh but it is similar.

SPEAKER_05

I put my lightsaber away, I guess.

SPEAKER_03

Chris? Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Um, so John Favreau's dead, right?

SPEAKER_03

John Favreau's dead. Asage is through dead. Okay. Kala is has been brought back to her wound threshold, but she is currently being possessed by an entity. Uh Starzan is one point over his wound threshold.

SPEAKER_04

Um, yeah, I'll just fucking I'm sorry, Kala. We're just gonna shoot you. Look, it is what it is.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, it is what it is.

SPEAKER_04

Do you have a stun setting out of curiosity? Uh she right now she's already over her strain threshold.

SPEAKER_03

So bringing her over her wound would would knock her out. Okay, yeah, I'll I'll just I'll just fucking shoot her. Okay, uh, so that is uh your blaster is slightly damaged, so you'll have to add a black. Kala would be at short range, so that'll be a uh purple and a black.

SPEAKER_04

Jesus Christ. Four success and one advantage.

SPEAKER_03

So you can shoot her, Kala gets knocked out again, Kala uh take a critical injury, 27. Uh a discouraging wound. Uh one light side destiny point goes to the dark as you feel this thing slipping away back into your unconscious as you get knocked out again from your friend shooting you with his gun. Chris and Illyria are still standing, and the crime lord, after this is all said and done, says, What what was the point of all this? Have you come to assassinate me? No one cares about you.

SPEAKER_04

And and we we uh we don't say anything, we just slap stim packs on our friends and slap stim packs on ones. And we just kind of walk away. What was this about?

SPEAKER_03

What was this about?

SPEAKER_04

And then I'll find out! I I look I look in his eyes and I look at him for a good ten seconds, and then I look away and we start walking away.

SPEAKER_03

So you can walk back out into the courtyard. The beast riders have begun tussling with the Mandalorians. That was that was the signal, apparently. Do you loot any corpses?

SPEAKER_07

Ooh, Assange Ventress.

SPEAKER_03

I'm gonna get back up.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, and you get the Darksaber. Who wants to be the Mandalore?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, well this has happened. I I slapped a uh yeah, there you go. I slapped a thing on uh uh snipback on you. Who wants to be the Mandalore? Chris was the one who defeated him in combat. That's true. I'll take uh I mean I already have armor, but like I'll take I'll take uh I'll take his Darksaber for sure.

SPEAKER_03

And all that comes with it? Well, do you have because the Imperial Knight armor, that's not something you can really wear publicly anymore.

SPEAKER_04

No. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I'll take his armor too. Yeah, you just bundle it up, rip down a curtain, bundle it up in a sack where it's like, I'll take this and this.

SPEAKER_04

I I I I take a uh I create a makeshift uh uh sled with some leaves and some trees and some like sticks and stuff, and then I just sort of like drag his body with me. And Cal is back. Why did we come here? Oh, uh we we we we came to kill the witch.

SPEAKER_07

What? Oh that was it? Well well it was the bodyguard specifically, because it's like Maul wanted all the bodyguards gone so he could be like. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And he's he's pretty fucking scared. There was just a puppet hanging in his uh in his throne room, blasting lightning at people.

SPEAKER_07

Kala will be very, very quiet. Well, that just happened. Am I am I am I okay? Am I am I me? I feel like me. I think I'm me.

SPEAKER_05

We're all just staring, looking scared.

SPEAKER_04

We're just sort we're just kind of like, we need some sleep.

SPEAKER_07

I feel like my hands have been crisped like they were just electrocuted or something. Let's let's go back to the ship. Let's go get some sleep. Yeah, I'll get the slaves sucking, they can come and meet us and everything. We can just go into hyperspace and pass out.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you can you can sit on the the front steps up to the palace watching the Mandalorians and the beast riders go at it as your ship comes and lands. You can hand out snacks from your snack bag. Uh, and board your vessel. Pantstar is like, hey, what did I miss? in the way that cats do.

SPEAKER_07

Pantstar immediately starts screaming at you for food.

SPEAKER_04

Uh just like uh I I feel like Star Zen needs to uh have some uh allow allow him to get some give you some scritches there, Pant Star.

SPEAKER_03

You can scritch Pant Star, and then you can take off from Duxon. Uh why don't you just give me I think that would they have replaced that guy? I don't know, they're probably still cleaning up the site, so I don't think you would necessarily need to uh evade the uh Star Destroyers again. So you can leave this place behind and head back to Mall, having done his dirty work to see what uh fucked up evildoer he chose as his apprentice next time on Star Wars Empire Wreckers. This week's episode is brought to you by our top patrons David B. Eric Charles Perazzo, General Porpoise, Handholder Zero One, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Matthew Lynette, Safira, Suki Nintendo, Thomas Davidson, and Vaginator.